Sh**ged Married Annoyed - The Traitors, mid-week drinking and Mario #3

Episode Date: October 16, 2026

On this week's Shagged Married Annoyed, the couple discuss Halloween Costumes, the nostalgic joy of an FCUK top, and Chris reveals why he couldn't do Celebrity Traitors. Unusually it's a 'cat heavy' episode which includes a Carl Hutchinson story, plus the pair talk 3D glasses, getting old, AI, and Rosie has some long lived beef about leaving food in the sink... All of this plus voice notes and some brilliant emails from the smas and das! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!  📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shagmoudinoy. It is freezing. We feel old again. We are preparing for Halloween. We do more whinging about AI. Of course we do. More call to our stories. Look, I'm with them all the time.

What do you want? We've got our beefs. We've got why I would never do the traitors. Voice notes and emails from you lovely lot. Enjoy. Hello, you are listening and maybe, maybe you even watching... You wouldn't say. You wouldn't bloody day.

With me, Rosie of the Ramsey family and Christopher of the... the Ramsey family. Yes, indeed. Hello and welcome. Hello. It's fucking freezing. It's so cold in this room. So we're at that point.

Again, it happens. Cycles through. It's freezing. Mad in it. Yeah. So as you said the other day, we hit lamp season. Lamp season is well and truly upon us.

Love lamb season. And I forgot that. Lamp season means obviously we don't have the heat on in the studio the same as in the house because it's not, it's a waste effect. Money, electricity, whatever it is. Gas, water. What is it?

Gas. Coal? Coal? Wood. Kindling. Crude. crude oil. Sometimes you are.

Horrible. Absolutely unbearable. But just, we use in EAS now, and we both just put them in and it's like, put little ice cubes in it and it's horrible. It is. But guess who isn't cold? I think I know who it is. The French lass.

Is it this smug, slag in front of me who is head at a toe in an electric blanket? I got the electric blanket back out. I swear to God, these were the best invention ever. I just remember. Unbelievable. I remember when I was a kid there was like an inordinate

amount of stories and TV shows where electric blankets burned houses down and killed everyone I mean yeah maybe up there for me with quick sand was a massive thing I think we've talked about this before

grappling hooks were huge yeah like being impealed by a fence impelled by a fence that was massive although a lot I'd have no lad in my school he's knackas there you go exactly chip panfires

chip panfires were huge I just remember electric blankets being like... Well, I think they were not as well made back in the day. Really? I think they're very well made now. And you know, just turn it off. Don't sleep with it. Water beds exploding and drowning everyone.

I would have loved a water bed. That was luxury, won't it? Do you reckon? Or was it stupid? I mean, no, it was ridiculous. Vile. Yeah. But I wanted one because I've seen them in all the films.

Yeah, but I think 3D glasses and waterbeds were of the same ilk. Remember they tried to bring 3D glasses back for a bit? They were like, oh, 3D's back. And everyone was like, oh, fuck off, man. Was it? Yeah. Like, I remember seeing, like, films, like, more recently. So when you were a kid, like, sort of 90s and 80s,

and, like, 3D was a thing. And it was like, oh, put the 3D glasses on and going to fucking say the thing. And then, yeah, I remember, there's a, the telly we've got in our main living room. Mm-hmm. Has, that was the one I bought years. I've had that years ago,

and that's got a 3D function on the button. We just don't use that remote anymore because it's used Apple, what's it called Amazon. So there you go, fire stick. That's awful. Yeah, 3D. It came with 3D glasses. You know what?

I actually, I do remember that's you all over. You bought that before we were married. Got that telly. It's all over than our marriage. It's weird, in it?

It's still the best one in the house. Yeah, I actually remember when you bought it and you were like, three days. I do. Oh, God. Yep. Still marriage.

What the fuck. You are, you are an idiot. I don't know, honestly, I was, I could just hear me clock. My clock was ticking.

No, it wasn't. I thought, do know what, he's all right. He's okay. He's okay. Like sometimes,

you got it, Sometimes you do have to sell. Sometimes he takes them 30 glasses off during sex. Sometimes. Just sometimes. When you're drunk. Yes, yes. So guys, thank you.

Listen, Rosie, thank you for sticking with it. And guys listening, thank you for sticking with it as well. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being part of our little world. Obviously, if you're watching on YouTube, please like, rate and subscribe. That would be lovely and the same on your podcast shop.

Subscription is a good thing. Just do it. Apparently so. Fucking so. But listen, it is time for this. week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is drinking during the week because your kids get up too early on a weekend. Yeah, you're up, mate. Oh, we've cracked it. Oh, but crack it. That's the answer. That's the answer. It's the only logical thing that I can think of because I were talking about

this morning how I had to drag them out of bed. Drag them out of bed. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low, no Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at no frills.ca. It's clock in the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yet Saturday night, I sang two bottles of wine with my mom and Rave decided to get up at half past five. Yep.

Because he's like, Bing, he must stir and go, oh, what day is it? And his little brain goes, oh, it's Saturday, it's fucking, today. Today's awesome. It's exciting day. Yeah. Let's start it as soon as we possibly can. Fuck you, mother. And then that's it.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's I didn't go to bed at all one. Oh, that's crazy, dog. I wasn't out, out, I was just, like, in the house. Crazy. But. So that's it from now on. Don't drink, don't drink on a Friday or Saturday.

Absolutely stupid. Sunday to Thursday, crack the fuck on. Unless it's the school holidays, in which case, uh, you know, it'll be good. Go have a work for people. Dry school holiday. I'm talking about us. I couldn't give two fuck about anyone else. Right.

I'm talking about our life. 7 o'clock's a lion Even when I'm on tour Now I'm waking up at 7 o'clock every day It's 7 o'clock's fine That's like life in it Yeah It's just a lion

It's all good All good We had a fight about the jingle Jinggo We couldn't set along a jingle So this is the Jinggo Jinggo We hope you like the Jingto

Bigger Babado babado do babado do babo Bha Jingo Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged Married Anoyed. Hey, listen, we're going to kick this straight off. I'm cutting into you there.

I've cut you off because I want you to know, do you want a dead quick, dead fast episode of Wanna Feel Old? Oh, go on then. Yeah, you're ready? Yeah, how are you? You seem like you're in too much of a good mood this week. I'd like to ruin it. Why do you want to...

I am genuinely in a nice mood. And I am due on, but... Oh, can I just stop for a second? I'm so sorry, right? So, you know, I follow my periods on the app. Mm-hmm. Just because I forget and then someday. like, you know, and then I'm sad and I want to get a divorce

and I'm like, it's just my period, I'm sorry. Okay, so, but now, because I'm getting older and I am heading into perimenopause, right, in a few years or whenever, it's literally like, it's a two-week window now for my period. It's just like, you might come on during this time. And then I spot bleat, I just like bleed for like a week, so I have to wear period knickers for a week,

but it's not enough to put a time on in. It's not enough to really do anything. It's just like gross. And then I, wild. Why? It's a minefield. I don't understand. It's,

I mean, as if you didn't have enough, as if you didn't have enough grief with them I know, it's actually getting worse. Honestly. Good God. It's fucking ridiculous.

Hey, we'll have some crack and fights on here the other one you're perimenopause. It's a big, so good. Don't because I'm actually, like, what we're going to do.

Boxing, charity boxing match me and you. What we're going to do? You're all going to have to, honestly, just give us a little bit of a wide berth. If you listen to this podcast and if you,

if you like us, right, because you most like us You're going to have to... That's without permanent. I know, this is being in good mood. You're going to have to give us a wide berth. Oh, well.

Listen, quick game of... Do you want to feel old yet? Yeah, come on. Have you seen my Instagram story this morning? No. Okay, of course not. You don't look at me Instagram. So two coming at you, right?

If you were born before 1988 8... Rosie, were you born before 1980? I was. You were indeed, so was that. Eight of the six. Same year. You are now older than Tim Allen was when the first episode of Home Improvement Aid.

Okay. That's all right. So that's, I've easy in with that one. Well, because, yeah, that's okay. You look quite nice in home improvement. I loved home improvement. I did as well. I loved the house.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the fucking L-shaped stairs, I came down on it. Lush, forget about it. Dream houses, weren't they when you were young? It was like, I want to live. I just wanted to live in America. Yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing, though, because it was all bologs,

because they all didn't have a fucking back wall. None of them had a wall. It was like, they were just studios, I know, but it was like father of the bride. Like, that was my dream. That was my dream. Be interesting to know if that was a... I was a real house.

Yeah. Because the first episode of The Sopranos, it's a real house that they filmed in, and then they remake that house as a studio, and it's real, like, it's not... You know, there's no studio audience, you don't need that. No, I'm pretty sure her father of bride was a real house.

God, Almighty. God, I loved it. Beautiful. I just wanted that life. Okay, so I've eased you in. Yes, okay. I've eased you in with that one. This next one,

it's... I couldn't really get me head around it. Toy Story, the movie, is now as old, as Mary Poppins was when Toy Story was released. Right. Okay. Yeah, all right then. So when Toy Story came out, you were like, oh, this is really old film called Mary Poppins that are like

as much as this new film I've seen at the cinema. The original Mary Poppins. Toy Story is now, yeah, there it is. You would get you with that one. But also, like, I were 40, like we've lived. I'm not that shocked by these. Was this, did you really want upset us today? No, no.

They're just quite, they're just quite interested, I just think. I'm really aware of my age and that. Yeah. It's fine. You got any more? Fucking hell. Come on, no, do another one.

What's this? Do you know that the courier bag was invented when you were one? Like, what are you got, have we? Come on. Is that it? Was that two?

I feel like, you know, and like again, in an American movie where the kid stands up with a bully, I feel that you've stood up with a bully and I don't know what to do. I don't know if my asses fell out. It's just, just a bit shit. Like,

Wow. Why? Do you don't think it's in that? Mary Potter, sorry, when you were a kid, Mary Popper was the oldest fucking thing. I watched Toy Story the other day with the kids. Yeah.

Okay, well, yeah, Toy Story has spanned the generation. It's done very well. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Mighty. No, come on, man. One of the top podcasts in the UK.

Shut on your bitch. You've got crows feet in your hair's going great. Fuck you. Yeah, how's that? Is that better? Want to feel old? Eh? You are fucking lucky that it is not this time next week

because I would, I would kick your head in. Do you know I said to Romney the other day? And I don't think you really picked up on it because I said it and he hasn't said it because I said, I'll open a kind of whoop ass on you and I don't think you understood. And then I thought, I shouldn't say that.

Yeah, kind of whoop ass. Kind of whoop ass, but he probably thought, oh, heck, shut up. What if you're all? Actually, I was in the call with them this morning and I said, what was it about? I said something. And I said, oh, bricking it.

Absolutely bricking it. And then I thought, if he asks what that means, I'm going to explain like shit a brick but he didn't he just wasn't No he didn't okay He says frick a lot which I don't like What a frick Yeah yeah yeah

It's just close it just like flirting with swear words You gotta respect it You gotta respect it I had one of them FCUK tops Oh Whoa I know my mom hated it You are kidding

What did I say It's because there was so there's FCUK me FCUK you Yeah What was it what did say I can't remember It's FCUK My mom

Were they clever Oh so clever Isn't that early notice I was like Yeah. FSAUK. Fuck. I'm wearing it and at a glance from a distance

someone in the supermarket might think it says a swear word but it doesn't. And I'm like, it says SAUK, diplomatic immunity, what are you going to do? Oh, right. Is FSA UK still going? Fent connection.

Oh, yes it is. I think online. Speaking of online. Yes. Have you seen the fucking saddest thing in the world that's currently happening? Is it any need for the swearing?

Have you seen the cunningly saddest fucking thing in the world that has happening? No. The AI thing is going crazy again. So basically people are creating AI characters like on Instagram, AI personalities. And the newest one is just the must have took footage of people getting out of like Bugatti's and like ridiculously expensive cars like McLaren's and that outside like posh hotels. and they've AIed like so say it's Gordon Ramsey getting out

this is just a guess here but say it's like Gordon Ramsey getting out of one of these fucking super super cars and they've AIed like a homeless guy over the top so they've created this account where it's like oh this guy who looks homeless but he's actually a billionaire and the account literally got like a million followers overnight. Why?

Because fucking, because we're all doomed. Sorry, I didn't follow it. Right. Brilliant. I didn't follow it. But it's just like, it's just that thing of like it's this thing, it's this AI and it's just, the data centers and they're using all the water and they're just using them to make fake stuff

and everyone's just sitting and going oh God I love the fake stuff it's like it's like we're all fucking marching towards the sun no but Leaher is out here right okay I'm going to stick up for mankind all right a little bit

what like don't let we have it if it's that no what I find really upsetting is like yeah oh guys it's it's fucking the planet but yeah there you go it's great it gives you loads of information oh my gosh fantastic but it's fucking the planet

Don't give it then. Well, yeah. So that's what it upsets is because then, I know, but then it becomes, it's not our responsibility. I totally agree. And that's what really upset is because I'm sick of having the weight of the world on my shoulders. I totally agree.

I pay my taxes, I pay whatever, council tax. Can you hire up, right? Just look after the world. But they're shit scared, aren't there? But the government's shit scared of the billionaires. That's the problem. The billioners are running it.

But it's that thing. It came out of, I will talk about it. It came out of fucking nowhere. It was, oh, you seen this video of Rory McElroy, twirking. Hey, is that him? No, that's a y. Eh?

Yeah, I know, I know. Oh, that's amazing. I'm using all the water. But you see, sorry, what was that about the water? No, no, look, Scotty Sheffler's an extra. Look, he slapped his ass. And that's not them. Not it looks like me.

What was that you said about the water? Don't worry about the water. I know, I know, I know. I know. It's bad. Well, listen. Feel ill? All it takes, well, I don't use it anymore. No.

I may have used it to look at holidays a while ago, but I don't. Google or Mattle gives you. You can't not get it. It's Raj. Chris, I don't understand. We're talking about possibly putting the data centres under water to cool them down, like at the bottom of the fucking ocean.

That's obviously going to be a nightmare. Or in space. Okay. Because it's freezing up there. All right. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Do we need it?

I think for like medical and stuff, like apparently it can detect like breast cancer and stuff like five years earlier. Like all of that stuff. Fuck yeah. Amazing. Piling like that. Why have I suddenly,

why have I suddenly been given up my phone? Why have I got it? Why have we all got it? This is what I'm saying though. Why is the bloke who works at the fucking The petrol station. Got it. Why have we got it?

I don't know. I don't think it's our responsibility. I'm sick. It's the same as like recycling and stuff. Don't get me wrong. Yes. Do as much as you can. But don't stop blaming us for like all of the rubbish in the world.

Like I'm sorry, don't make it, don't make it available. Well, yeah. Our bin men were on strike a couple years ago for fucking ages. I couldn't do anything. It was mental. Listen, don't talk about that. Do you want me to lift the mood again? I've got something else to lift the mood.

Yes. It's a rollercoast at a day. I've got loads to lift the mood. Oh, have you? Yeah. I've got something, you ready? I was on stage in Stevenage and there was a girl in the front row,

a young girl with a 16-a-day badge on and I never normally talked to birthday people because it can get boring for the rest of the crowd, but I spotted the badge and I spoke to her and I said, what did you get for your birthday? And she said, these tickets, I suppose. That was nice. I've had a laugh of that.

But then, I can't remember how we got onto it, but she's got a cat. Guess what her cat's called? Chris. Ramsey. It's called Chris Ramsey? Ramsey she named a cat Ramsey named a cat after me or you probably me how good's that that's all right oh it was nice a cat called Ramsey cute lovely weird that he brought it up

on the podcast sort of making you got a fucking you got brag about your achievements in life that for me is a someone's named a cat after me that's a fucking achievement that is cute I'm well happy well done yeah baby babado do babado do babado do ba babooh halloween what what I know I know I know I know but listen the funny thing about Halloween in our house is the kids have got their disco at school so I've been getting their costumes because they don't make them anymore like I don't know

children of today they don't want to make costumes it's just not you know gone other times No shout out a couple of years ago A kid in Robin's school Jacket on loads of variety packs of Kellogg's

stuck on it What was he? Serial killer Very good Blood up like faith Did you know what a serial killer was though? I don't know I think his parents said it was funny though It was very good and you genuinely look.

They love Halloween. Yeah, yeah. I was friends about us. They love Halloween. Anyway, ordering the costumes. Robin is going. I've got my hazmas suit. Hasmat suit.

Hasmat suit. Backrooms vibes. Yeah. Like, well, we've seen back rooms. He has not seen back rooms. I guarantee he's seen most of back rooms. There'll be so many clips of it online that he's probably pieced the whole thing together.

Fair enough. Well, anyway, the less I know about that, the better. Yeah. He said to me like, is this in back rooms? And I was just like, yes. Okay, you might not have seen them. So, no. He was like, is it.

So I was just like, yeah, there is when they come and catch them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Rief. Rave, Rave, Rave, Rave, Rav Rav Rav Rambsie. I was like, what do you want to go as this Halloween? Do you want to go like scary? Like, do you want to be like a vampire or a zombie? Do you want to go?

Fucking, guess, do you know what he's going as? No. What's he going on? What did he go as last year? Mario. What did he go as the year before? To fuck off. Mario.

What's he going as this year? Mario? Fucking Mario? Three years in a row? Timeless Classic. I've had to order three separate Mario costumes for three years running. The kid's a lunatic.

Great. I believe he might have been Luigi. I think he was Luigi last year and I think Robin was Mario if I'm right. Yeah. I was like, Ray, you can be anything that you want. He knows what he likes. God be Mario. It's just blow my mind.

I was like, honestly, begrudging, he just ordered another. And he put it on and he was so excited. I was like, that's great. You've been this before? I think that's lovely. He's not like, I want a new one, it's got to be bigger and better. He's like, hey, do you know what? A couple of years ago, I nailed it.

Why? Not broken, don't fix it. But wahu. It's a me, etc. It's a Mario. I even said John goes Mario, like the evil Mario. He was like that. Mario.

Honest to God. Well, he can't go as Mario next year. I'm not joking for you. and he will. He can and he will. Mario. I'm not. The teachers will be like,

this kid since kindergarten has been dressed as Mario like what's wrong with him? Fucking timeless classic legend. It just blew my mind, honestly, but you know, whatever.

Yeah, you're right. He's happy, so. Good for him, man. Come on. Because Mario. Three years in a row, man. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. This episode is

sponsor by TV licensing. A TV license covers you to watch over 400 TV channels and everything on BBC I play out. To find out more, go to tvl.com. UK forward slash pod. Rosie, what we're watching? Celebrity traders.

Celebrity traders. It's back. Everyone's very excited about it. Yes. It's all over socials at the minute. We know who's in. Incredible line up. Incredible lineup. I genuinely, I don't know anything that's going to happen. There's been no...

Well done to those celebrities, by the way. Even the celebrity that you were at the end of my fringe with and asked her non-stop to tell you and never did. She told me nothing. Yeah. She told me nothing. Well done, Joanne. She absolutely did not.

She didn't let anything go. Still angry about it. Although no, I didn't ask her. I actually said to why I don't want to know, but she was not forthcoming with the information. Wow. I think it's killed her a little bit. I'm not going to lie.

But it would kill me. Imagine. Yeah. Imagine just like, no, you can't say anything. But there's been no leaks. I know nothing. It's going to be great. The line up.

is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, Tras, absolutely one of the best shows on tell you. I mean, just a list of few of the people, Bella Ramsey,

James Blunt, Jerry Hall, Joe Lyset, Leanne Pinnick, Maya Jama, Michael Sheen, Miranda Hart, Richard E. Grant,

Rob Beck, Ramesh. The list goes on. Wild. Madness. What, how do they get all them, people?

It's good show, good show and they want to be part of it. I'm going to let you do this next round because it's written by your two favourite writers in the world, in the whole world ever.

Yeah. So the reluctant Vampire. on BBC. All episodes are dropping on IP Player. Cast is just phenomenal. We've got Lenny Rush, we've got Sean Clifford, we've got Tom Davis, we've got Joe Wilkinson. The list goes on phenomenal cast.

And obviously, for me, the main pull, written by Neil Gibbons and Rob Gibbons, who write all of the Alan Partridge stuff, all of the audio books that I listen to with Alan Partridge stuff, just incredibly, incredibly great, funny writer's really looking forward to binging this. yeah, right on my street. And honestly, love vampires as well. You know, never met one, but you know, big fan.

Oh, and it's nearly Halloween. Perfect. Perfect. Get in the mood. Now, Rosie, a show that you're going to enjoy and not even just enjoy a show that I think you genuinely missed your call and he had to be part of. Apocalypse on Channel 4.

Oh, yes. Because you genuinely believe that the world has ended with every single bit of news you see. So this would be right up your street. I didn't want to depress people in this part of the thing. But yeah, so what they've done is they've just got members of the public together and they've put them in an apocalyptic setting. Yeah.

And the clip that I just saw recently was they were starting to steal food from each other. Fantastic. Which is exactly the way it would go. That's absolutely what would happen. Yeah. You know, only the baddies survive. We've always said that. Yeah.

Only the worst people ever survive in anything like that. But this is, you know, hopefully they're not the worst people. Hopefully, very little bit more. No, we'll wait and see because I'm telling you right now, I think the baddies will survive of this program. So it is a, it's a survival reality series. Two groups test their survival skills in an abandoned town with no electricity, no running water or food.

14 contestants taken part. They've got to survive 28 days. That started 13th of September. It's expected to run every Sunday for seven episodes. How long 20? That's a long time. Yeah. Without any electricity, no water, nothing.

Honestly, I'm just jealous of them just because they'll just have a lovely social media break. They will. But we've done these kind of TV programs. before, right? And genuinely, they're really strict. Yeah. You know how sometimes you watch a program and you think, oh, they'll be letting they won't. Yeah, they will be fully doing that. They're not walking off stage and off screen and having a Mars bar. No chance. No chance. No chance. Ooh. So enjoy all of that viewing this October and remember a TV license covers you to watch over 400 TV channels and everything on BBC

I play. To find out more, go to tv.l.court-Uk forward slash pod. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online, and get the same low No Frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at nofrills.ca. Want to get away but can't live without Wi-Fi?

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of home on the go. Explore OnStar tech today at OnStar.ca and elevate your travels. OnStar, better never stops. So speaking of Rafe, I have got a little Rafe update for everyone. I was convinced that I stank of coffee and bananas on a morning and athletic greens. Oh, because he was telling you to shut your mouth when you were brushing his teeth. I realized this morning, so I went upstairs, right? I flossed with my electric flosser

I did mouthwash I brushed my teeth I did mouthwash again I came back down to brush his teeth and he was going he was covering his nose saying I stank I went

what does it smell like what does my breath smell like he went minty the tooth paste the fucking mouthwash he doesn't like the smell of the listerine mouthwash he doesn't like the smell

that's what he can smell he's like a dog an he It's like you he's got your nose bin stinks that's him I'll have two he is bin stinks I know Bobn'll joinin as well

because you know what pisses as well he got in the car the other the other week and he was like quick over the windows it's it smells of hot yeah yeah he doesn't like the hot smell at the car it's fair enough like what remember when you're getting a car as a kid and it was that hot dust smell oh it's gonna hit if we ever rent a car and hold it's gonna die he's gonna get in the back of the car he's gonna be absolutely furious wonder what it is though because my mom's got a really really strong sense of smell he's just got yours honestly it's a curse yeah it's an absolute curse Yeah, it's kind of ignorance is bliss for me Like I'm not really amazing at smell and stuff

Yeah, it's bad like it's bad I mean don't get it's wrong When I open the bin and stand over the bin This man's I've got to quit your closet Sometimes I'll hold my breath and run away Says a lot of that I should just empty the bin But when I can't be asked

No, coming down in the morning in the summer Yeah That's so upsetting You've relegated with a one bin as well We just have two bins I have yeah You've relegated with one bin We haven't got the responsibility

To empty those bins They're too big two massive big bins. Nah. We've turned one minute and we're extra recycling things That's great. That's great.

I eat too much oily fish to be having two big bins. It's not the life that we can have. I do. I eat tuna. I eat too much oily fish to have big bins. There's three salmon skins and them bins every week.

Yeah, that's probably that. So it's fucking you. You're creating the problem that you don't like yourself. Sorry, have you seen how nice my skin is? To we want to. Take some a moment. Omega 3 tablets, well he didn't shut the fuck off.

And he's got the audacity to say, I stink. It's fucking the fish lady over here. Never tells me a-sting. But the Aquaman's ma. Never tells me a-sting. So it's more, says more about you than me. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. So the other day when we're on tour, we were sitting, having breakfast,

and tour manager Mick was talking about his cat. Okay. And Carl started talking about his cat that he used to have, Nix. Mm-hmm. Is Nick's dead? Yeah, Nick's died. Oh. She was a lovely cat, Nix.

Oh, she was actually a really nice cat. Yeah. I mean, he was so, like, soft. He was obsessed with her, aren't he? Didn't he nick her from next door? Right, so yeah. So he basically... She used to live next door.

She lived down the street, apparently, and her family had a kid, and she was like, oh, like, fuck this. So she ended up, like, going and living... And he sawed it, he, like, adopted her dad that did paperwork and everything, he, like, took the cat. Oh, they just pick someone else.

They're like, I've done with you. Imagine? I'd be absolutely wounded. Imagine if you're obsessed with it. Imagine if you're obsessed with the cat, and the cat was, like, found someone else? Well, I think... Cat are fickle.

I think if you were obsessed with them, they wouldn't go. No, no. I thought they want. Yeah, I think they'd know if you're buzzing off of them. Yeah. So he told me this story.

I'd heard a part of it. I hadn't heard it in its completion. Have you heard about when he was going to go on a holiday and put the cat in a cattery? Have you heard this story? I don't think I have. Right. So usually he would get his neighbour,

Paul, I think he was called, to just come over and feed the cat every day or whatever. And they were going to go on. they were going away for like a week or something for the first time like seven days or 10 nights or something like that just before the kids yes in the flat yes so no no it was no I think they had a daughter at the time I think they had yeah so he he decides oh I'll take the cat to this cat hotel it's advertised as a cat hotel right so he takes the cat he takes the cat and he gets there and he's like he says his initial reaction was this isn't a

hotel. There's no sooth for her to sit on. There's no like, this is just like a place with loads of cages and loads of cats. And he was like, ah, and he says he felt like terrible and he like, he left out. He like, obviously he gave out of the woman.

The woman's like, okay, and he like signed a thing or whatever. And he says he started crying, right? And he walked out of the car and he was crying. And he started driving home and he was crying. And he phoned Paul. And he went, can you? I'm really sorry, but I've just dropped off at this place and it's awful. Can you please?

We're going away. please do what you normally doing he's like yeah no problem you're like right he turns around in the car and he goes back like what's that fucking is it officer in a gentleman where he goes in there with he gives her a hat and then he lifts her up yeah picks her up and walks out with the things so he goes back in thinking he's going to save the cat right he goes in he's like I'm sorry um I've you know I've sort of some some things someone's come to look at the cat can I can I just have me cat cat pack like saving it from this hell hole the woman's like uh okay so they go to the kids where the cat is she buzz it

called like I'm here to save you the cat's like mate I'm fine he's like no come on you hate this the cat's like bro like I'm sweet like it's good to the point of where they open the cage

the cat won't come out just in the back of the cage mate I'm fucking chilling like fuck off like go on holiday like go and enjoy yourself catch is buzzing so they can't get the cage the cat with the cage so the woman has to get the bloke who's like out the back

who like runs the whole place. He like comes out. Rosie, he has to get, the cat will not come out of the cage. He has to get wire cutters and cut the cage physically out of the wall. So it's like a wall of cages.

He has to cut the entire cage out with wire cutters so they can remove the cage. So Carl can take the cat home in the cage. And as the guy's cutting it, Carl's standing there. And he goes to the bloke, does this have happened before?

And while the bloke's cutting the wires, he goes, You're the first. Why? I'm sorry, I'd be like, she's clearly happy. I'm not ruining my cage. Can you go on your holiday? Like, I'm sorry?

That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. He's like, I'll see him here. Cats, like, what the fuck? I think they would love it, like, with all their mates. Yeah. Be like a week at the wrist of cats, wouldn't it? You know what I mean?

I was fucking dying when he told us. That's a absolute. He's a maniac. He's a maniac. He's a maniac. How many of you was crying? Driving back. I've saved you.

Honestly, don't bother. Come on. Let's run. I'm fine. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. It's time for what's your beef. What's your beef? What's your beef?

What's your beef? Beef. Now, um, I, uh, honestly, at first I didn't have a beef this week because, um, we've been, uh, away, I've been away. I haven't been seen each other that much. But, um, then I said, I didn't have a beef. And you said, oh, I've got one. So I thought, okay, I've got one as well.

so what do you think about that now you know how I feel say you could handle my love I'll have to pay oh what's your beef well should I tell you quickly to go and listen to me

other podcast absolutely about the spice girls BBC sounds eras spice girls hosted by me oh last night I was just going to say can we remind everyone of what happened we put eye player on

I don't know what ghosts yeah come on come on and then an advert came on for the podcast, my voice, and I was like, oh my God, this is so cool. So I kind of stared at Robin, like, going,

and tell him what he shouted. Skip this! Skip this! There's no idea it was me. How did he not know it was my voice? It took him a while, like, but it came on. But then, he was buzzing. Yeah, he was buzzing after a while. It was a very lovely, but it was straight away.

Skip this, skip this. Skip this? I was, like, straight in my eyes. Skip this? That was laughing. And you were, like, you were smiling at him, I mean, it must have been weird. If he didn't know, yeah.

I don't think he knows who the Spice Girls are which is trudge The Trudge But whatever Yeah Yeah you can listen to that It's really interesting actually Genuinely

We talked about it on Sarah Cox The idea on radio too I am Basically kept walking past the room When you were doing the voice over for it And the little sort of snippets I heard What as a not Obviously I'm not a diehard spice girls fan

I mean obviously they were awesome And iconic Fair enough Really interesting Yeah, really interesting. Yeah. So yeah, check that out and BBC sounds. Love lending my voice.

There we go. I've all said you've got a lovely voice. Thanks. My beef with you is you're doing another podcast. You're fucking whore. I'm joking. It was fun. Wait, what do you be for you then?

So my be for you, just a little one. Basically, you did it when I was, drew back from me tour and you do it when I go on a little night out with me mates and I'm like the one who has to be hung over or not you're not yet the next day, you always just end up getting on a fucking mad one in our house with your mom and your sister

and it totally dilutes my being a bit hung over the next day because you're like, oh, what time you're getting, you know I come in, I'll go out for a curry with the lads, whatever, but I come in at 10 o'clock because I'm boring as fuck and you're still like on the piss in the living room with your mom

and I'm like, okay, so... This is, where's this being stewing? Well, because you did it there, and I got back from two and I was like, I'm not going to have to you. You're like, oh yeah, I was up there. I'm sorry, but did it actually, it didn't ruin any of a day?

Didn't at all. We went out with a kid. I got you from the train station. We came home, I made dinner in the evening. You were fantastic. No, it didn't. Go fuck yourself.

What you're talking about? You have a mad one. I just think it's, I'm I jealous? I think you need to wind your fucking neck in. I have, like, I live like a monk when you're on it here. I'm in bed by seven.

That's not my problem. The way you live your life, you can't blame me that you are a boring bastard. Like, I'm not. I enjoy. life and you know what it is when the moment takes us I'm gonna I'm gonna do it so you were fine to be fair so there's no rack to see it's not that time you fell down the stairs and broke your bomb that was a night out and that was cocktails that was

cosmopolitan coxic tales coxic tales honestly that was actually I haven't been that drunk since then to be honest yeah it was a wake-up call on it that was a once in a decade yeah I don't get fall down the stairs drunk when my mom and Kate are here at all right then where the hell did that come from? The hit is like a boomerang. What, you mean, I hit you then came back? Just, it's just,

that's another thing about being married, isn't it? Well. Just like how you, see, if we were divorced, yeah. Not that I'm advocating divorce, but if we were divorced, I would just do that on the nights when you were the kids. Oh, I mean.

But we're not divorced, and I've got my kids every night of the week. Yeah. So, when am I meant to enjoy myself? Never. Week nights. Listen, stop. Stop leaving food in the little drainer in the sink.

Oh, it's getting out of hand. It's honestly, why won't you, why won't you empty it? Honestly, so I've had an issue with this for years. I know you have. He's been doing this. How is this not actually ever come up? Or has it come up? I can't remember.

Maybe. When I used to work at La Bamba, the restaurant in South Shias next to the town hall, which isn't any more. It was a Spanish tapas. Yeah, I think it's a manbo's now. I was the pot washer. I was the dishwasher.

I was in the kitchen, just kitchen porter. Can't imagine you doing this. Yeah, yeah, I was only 16. I was kitchen porter and I just did all the washing. And the bloke who, there's a really lovely bloke who worked there who was like the senior kitchen porter.

And whenever the sink got blocked with loads of food stuff, I would be like, oh mate, it's blocked again. What do I do? And he was like, look man. And he got annoyed that he had to show. I only worked there like two nights, but he got annoyed that he had to show us, two weeks, sorry.

He got annoyed that he had to show us because he was like, you just move this and take all this food and put it in the bin. I was like, all right, I didn't want to touch it. so I just pretended I didn't know what to do. Yeah.

I have got a mate, like, I think it's, I feel like it's like alive and it's going to get us. Like, I swear, when it's in the little, the strain I think, I hate it. I know, but why? I always have to empty it. It's gross. I don't like it either.

I know, but we've got my jobs and, you know, mainly it's your, like, oily fish and fish eyeballs and scales. Do you know what it is mostly? It's your eggs. It's always eggs. Monkey bits of eggs and cheese, which I don't eat. So it's you, actually. It's always you?

I come out, say. You've actually got us bank of rights because at the minute my two main food groups are eggs and cheese. It is stringy bits of cheese that I have to like scratch off the bleak strainer and that. Oh yeah, you do because it's hot. But can you just do, when you do that part of the task, can you finish it and not leave your monkey bits of food in the sink?

Better idea. If anyone knows the location of that bloke I used to work with in Labamba, if you could just get him to come round every day and empty that for me, that'll be sound. Oh, just buy some rubber gloves? I'm putting my gloves on and do that, man. I'm busy man. I don't.

You've actually, I can't even look at you. You've upset. You've really wound us up with that, that, me having family around just to drink. No, no, it's nothing to do with family being around. Love your family. It's just getting on it. Just getting on it when it's like,

what if I'm ill the next day? You're just like, fuck it, rah. I don't, what do you mean? I don't know what I'm like. About being tired and that. Well, we're both tired. I'm like, who's going to do stuff. deal with you so...

He was going to do stuff! You honestly, you used to be exciting. Do you remember when we first met? You did, you know? You did, you used to be exciting, but now you hold sleep to such a high... Oh, I know. It's like ridiculous.

That's why I couldn't do traitors. I could not do the traitors. The fucking, like... We're not up to date, but James Acosta, bless him, he fucking looks like he's had... The night after they had him in that coffin and then they recruited him as a traitor, spoiler alert.

He looked like he'd been on a fucking... He looked like he'd been on a fucking... can four days stag do the poor sod because I know he's had two hours kip yeah you don't deal well with it oh I'd be if I'd be a mess mm-hmm they'd be like Chris are your trainer I'll be like yes fuck off yes I'm a trainer fuck up well that's what his tits did Jesus oh yeah I was great on it to me fair no he's stupid he didn't he's never watched it he's never watched it he's never richardie grant has never watched the trainers clearly no I'm sorry someone's told him this is a really big show you should do this.

Hell yeah! Hell yeah, what, Johnny, good fun, I'll do it. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe,'s watch it before you do it, actually. Yeah, that was, yeah. And like, he thought the camera, he thought the cameras had gone down. He called the day. I'm telling you now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And Lysit's like, ah, no, still a trade. I was like, okay. It's Gemma Collins in the jungle the first time round when,

when it was like night time, she was like, so when did they bring all the dinner out? And it's like, No, this is it. What? You fucking what! And then you left. Like, oh God, I just don't...

Like, to be fair, I have told people that I've watched stuff religiously to get up. Strictly, I told them I was like, oh, it's always on in our house every year. We love it. I don't fucking... But then I always drop myself in it because then I go, it's a different dance every week! Yeah, you're a moron. What do you mean it's a different dance every week? Chris, you're a super fan of the show, aren't you?

Ah, did you see that to get it. Yeah, I did say that again. There's a word to explain it. It begins with A and ends in ragance. Arrogance. Arrogance. There it is. Shear arrogance.

I never knew what to spell that until this sound is not like that. So, not I said A. Regalance. I mean, I get it, but fair enough. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low, no frills prices delivered. Get your first year of PC Express Pass for just $2.50 a month.

Learn more at no frills.com. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. As always, if you'd like to touch it, Shaggedmarriedenoid at gmail.com for a long form of email or 07874-40-60 to send a voice note. All that information is on your podcast app. Our Daisy sent these voice notes through because I forgot last week. Our Daisy.

She said this one is funny, but it's a bit noisy and windy, so we'll try it. But if it doesn't work, we'll do a different one. Al Reid, I haven't heard this. No, we've never heard any of them. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Just a quick one for your fancy news section that I can't remember the name of either. We went on holiday when we were kids with my mum and stepdad. And it was the day of checkout, and we were able to go and put our look at.

in this like storage facility that was just aside from the hotel so it was basically like this empty shop where they kept the bags so we've gone and dropped the bags in gone off for the day been to the pool had a swim been for some lunch and what have you and we thought right we'll go and get our bags now and then go and have the shower ready for the airport and when we got to the door of this like empty shop with our bags in there was a sign on the front and it was in Spain and the sign said i am a toilet back in 10 minutes but we am a toilet back in 10 minutes so there's been months and months afterwards every time we you know something went wrong or like we didn't want to do something we go uh-uh i'm a toilet back in 10 minutes

Oh, nice. Absolutely love it. Ooh, this reminds us. Yes. Like, obviously I'm on two over the call. A lot of me stuff at the minute is, you know, through the call. Call heavy. Through the call filter.

Do you know he, like some of the stuff he watches online. Obviously, I've said before he's obsessed with people eating takeaways outside of takeaways. He also went, he went, oh, have he seen such and such? He said a name of this person. And I went, who's that? He went, oh, no. He went, it's just a guy who does, like, edits of stuff.

So it's, he showed us this thing. There's loads of them. There's edits of. Can you remember anything? airline the show in the 90s. Was it like a documentary? Yeah, just about it was like about EasyJet and about just Yeah, loved it.

Loved it. Loved it. So online, we've been watching like compilations of the best kickoffs. Amazing. And there's this one and I just, I think if I'd seen this episode, it would have been one of these things that stay in, it would have been a catchphrase that I say forever. So it's this poor lady. I don't know how it's happened to her, right?

But basically, she's managed to get on a plane. and she's French, she's managed to get on a plane in France all the way to Liverpool, and she's got a cat with her in a fucking handbag. Amazing. So they're like, what the fuck? And she's like, I take my cat, I can't have a boy. But she's like, I take my cat everywhere. And she's like, it's funny as fuck, because she gets the cat out and you hold it up.

And the cat just looks like so bewildered. The cat's like, what my day and he climbs back in the bag. And all the staff are like, look, well, you've brought an animal in the country illegally. Like, it could, you know, it's dangerous. It could have diseases and stuff. We're going to have to put your cat in quarantine. And she's like, nah, nah, and she stands up.

and she just fucking pegs it out the airport with her cat and a suitcase and everything. I've not seen this one. The chase her, the catcher and the camera who are waiting and just walking back up and she's like, it's taking three people to catch me. And they're going, look, you can't need to go and quarantine. We're going to have to take your car off of you. You're going to have to phone. You're going to phone.

The police blah, blah, blah. And she says, and I am going to do the accent just for this bit. She goes, the woman's arguing with that. And she goes, no, no, no. You have broke my holidays. I fucking wish. I wish I'd seen that at the time because I would, you broke my holidays as fucking the gift that keeps on giving.

Everything? You brought me holidays. You're very cat-heavy today. Very cat-heavy. Very, but I love it. Do you want one more? Yeah. Hi, Chris and Rosie.

I was just listening to the latest podcast with the guide dog called Phil. So my brother-in-law is lucky enough to have the most amazing job working with guide dogs, training the guide dogs and also the people, and then they go off once they're paired with the right person. His latest dog, gorgeous little black line.

She's really lovely, doing really well in her training, but her name is Kath. Kath, yes, like a middle-aged woman. So, yeah, I don't think it's a one-off. Phil and Kath. There you go. Kat. I've got an anti-Kath.

That's great. But I wouldn't call me Kath. Cath's a great dog's name. Fantastic. Imagine her in a little dolly hat and some glasses. A little black lab. Oh, gorgeous. I know I say it all the time

but when I worked at the Metro Centre they used to that's where the guide dogs did all the train and the puppies and they would come in and I'd just be like oh god You know that I was strong and that's a worse bit when they're in training

Oh I did Oh great Great great Well done you've probably Honestly you probably ruined Fucked it I'm fucked it I'm sorry about that

Do you know you can get Police dogs I think it's one in America Or maybe over here You can like adopt Police dogs That were too lush To be police dogs

Do you know that that they were too, like, soft. I want one of them. Yeah, yeah. So you can get them. Like, it's a thing I've seen it online a few times. It's like, oh, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, it wasn't like, you know.

No respect. Yeah, like, wouldn't be like, you know, I don't know if that'd have to be ruthless. But, you know, I mean, they've got to be a bit, fucking, you know, a bit to be a police dog. Oh, I've got to, you know, like, it seems obviously to be an officer in the army. You'd have to be, you'd have to have a bit of fucking something about.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like, dogs that were too nice to be priest dogs. Wouldn't go in. burning building. No, well, not even,

no, not even that. Just like, wouldn't fucking have a go with someone or wouldn't bark, you know, thing like,

they're just like, oh, I love that. They just wanted to fuck about. Do you know, police dogs are not allowed to sleep inside? Oh, no. Is this true?

Yeah. It's a fact. You got to sleep outside. They've got to sleep outside all the time. Oh. Is it still true? They're not like family dogs. No.

Like the, the dog owners, the police dog owners, they have the dog and it's like, they're at their home, but they're not allowed to be inside. inside the house. They've got to sleep outside.

Oh, I heart as fuck. Yeah. Well, that's be it, then I? No, I want the one that just that lies there, play dead. Yeah. You want a big fat dog that doesn't do anything. That's what you want.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't want an obese dog. No, I'm joking. That's upset. Very, very upset. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Hello, Chris and Rosie.

My husband keeps his eyes closed for the whole duration of brushing his teeth. What can anything could happen? You can be burgled. Two whole minutes electric tooth. bush. Good night. Sorry. That is, I mean, I can't do the full two minutes. It does me any.

I really upset is this? It feels like years. You have to, Chris, you have to do the two minutes. I've said before, tie in shoelaces and brushing me teeth feels like it's years. Honestly, like, like, oh, it's boot season's coming up. Oh God, not. It's lamb season, it's boot season. Jesus Christ. I've got Red Wing boots.

Oh, you don't even want to know Chris in boot season. It's so upset. I can't bear it. So honestly, I think I've said before, if I bend down with timely laces, right, it takes so long, I hate it. If I come back up and everyone was like older and they were like, you were down there for a year,

I wouldn't be surprised. I'd be like, yeah, I was. Just get some slip-on loafers? Wellies. You wear wellies? Oh, no, I'm not going to be well-y guy. Yeah, but being married here during boot season is so awful.

Shall I get like, what were them, should I get, like, Edward Cisahans ones were like metal buckles and zips on in there. Get a zip. Get the zips. Zip ones. I've got a play.

I've got a play. Hang on. All of my boots have got zips. Right. So can I have the ones that I've got laces on the front? They've got the fake laces and you just zip them up the front? Right. Why have you never done this?

Don't know, but that's what I need because, but back to brushing the teeth. Him keeping his eyes shut for two minutes. I, anything could happen. Do you know what? I'm a maniac right. When I'm brushing my teeth for two minutes, the amount of jobs I do. Yeah, yeah. And I get toothpaste everywhere.

Yeah, it's awesome. Like, I know what's like dripping down my arm. minutes going on me, get carpet and that. But like I can't stand still for the two minutes. So I just, well, I know, but I just get shit done. Well, he doesn't. I'm like, oh, well, put me, put me razor away, do loads of stuff. He will be calmer and more level-headed than both of us.

The fact that he can shut his eyes for two minutes and just have a bit, I bet he's visualising each tooth. I bet he's visualising the gaps around the teeth and he's properly getting, I bet he's not one bit of his mouth that he's missing. I'm jealous. Do you know what's really impressive? I'd fall asleep. Do you know how I robin? Uh-huh. He brushes his teeth for the full two minutes.

He's a good kid. I know. He's mad, isn't it? He eats really well. He brushed his teeth while. He's a good kid. I know, he is, isn't it? What's got on? I don't know. Take a leaf out of his book. Rave on, on the other hand. That's because I stink. No, no, he's just like, you put it in for five seconds and he's like,

ah, smit! And I'm like, you've done six seconds. No. Just let him spit and then start again and he's devastated, but you just got to be done. But then there's no toothpaste on? I put more on. I'm like, you've just spat out. We've got to go again. I'll like, you want to spit, but we've got to go again. I don't do two minutes so he's only got up with four teeth man

he's only a little kid our parenting skills are so wildly different sometimes don't tell us oh okay just don't tell us because I know for fact you don't put more toothpaste on I know for a fact I've done it a couple of times

I swear I swear I've done it a couple of times Don't believe you Okay I don't believe you You're a lying piece of shit So hang on right So you put the tooth paste on his toothbrush and then you brush it and he spit it out straight away

And then you just do it And there's no more Sometimes I go get Well there is because you can It's bold See see! See how quickly Backtracked

You don't get any more You've never spat Halfway through brushing your teeth No never Never never What's your mouth of fucking reservoir I keep it all in I'm a tripped down your hamster

What you're talking about You've got spit halfway Listen you can take them To the dentist And you can explain them Why Rave's teeth are falling out If they are by the way It doesn't mind

It doesn't mind You're fucking honey No one cares The next ones are the important ones But seriously So you don't spit Halfway through bush and your teeth You just store it like a hamster

Yeah In your mouth Yeah that's wild. Why? Because you can spit halfway through and then just keep going because there's toothpaste on your teeth

and it's on the... I don't want to spit halfway through. Wow. Why are you reckon with kids' teeth? I'm not like. I don't. Stuff like this really upset is when I find out because you keep it secret

you never see anything and then you're like ah yeah when I brush his teeth yeah whatever, just spit it out and what eh. All right, cards on the table I haven't brushed his teeth ever. Is that better? Does that make you feel better? No, I know you have to have seen you.

Oh, there you guys, shut up there. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Bach. This reminded us of you. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Just listen to the episode when you were both talking about scenes you have about other people,

blah, whatever. And it reminded me of my sister's ex from years ago. It was his job to put the bins out and one night during an argument. Sorry, just for a moment there, I was like, can you remember when Steve Bouchier wrote in and said

about a comedian pissing and it was about me? Just there I was like, you said, Steve Bouchier wrote in. Steve Bresier, a comedian, wrote in about his Manchester Uni gig saying he had to empty a bucket of piss in a backstage gig and it was me

who, a comedian had pissed in a bucket and it was me and he had empty, you know. So for a moment there when you were like this reminds me with that and my sister's ex, I was like, oh my god but then you said, take the bins out and I'm like, oh okay, no, I've never. It's not you. Yeah, it's never. Don't worry, it's not you. It's not all about you Chris. Wow. Well. I know you like to think of his pretty. God, I thought it was in a good mood. You've managed to really pissing up. You pissed off with the, with the, I get pissed and

don't let you have a nice day and you don't brush with children's teeth properly. You leave all the shit in the sink I'm fucking saying listen I'm done it's unbelievable oh book flights to Portugal just another one of my

fucking jobs I genuinely the other day just because I'm in a Rage right and the other day was like I'm not booting a holiday this year right next year for next year and I was like I'm just not going to do it and then then

and now you do it just out of she espite no because you just won't do why don't you book the holidays why do I have to book the holidays okay I will book a holiday yeah all right

I'll book one today. Thank you. No problem. Yep. Good. Yeah. Where we're going? I'll book it.

Great. I know you'll go back to somewhere we'll be, so that's fine. Of course I will. Did you do it? No, I'll book it. No problem. Okay, thank you. No problem.

Yeah. I'll sold it. I need to know the dates. Nope. Fine. I've actually got nothing but then. Listen, shut up. So.

Okay. Do you know what's so funny? I'm going to Cardiff this afternoon to film for the TV show that I'm doing. And I would never speak to Nathan like that. No, of course not. There's a period of this job. Shut up. Right.

Yeah. The bins. Come on then. It reminded me and my sister's ex from years ago. It was his job to put the bins out. And one night during an argument, he said to her, you don't even respect the bins. Yeah. That's exactly.

Yo, fuck, tell you what. We got the yellow tape of shame the other day. What happened? Someone put a fucking bicycle helmet in the bin. Who? It was Rafe's old broken bicycle helmet, which is fucked. And someone put it in the recycle bin.

I think she should put it at the top of the recycle bin. So there must have been the easiest rejection for the bin man. He opened it. Well, that's the thing. I came out and I saw the yellow tape of shame and I was like, this is so embarrassing. And I opened the bin and there was just a bicycle helmet at the top, a bicycle helmet.

So where would you put, do you put that in the normal bin? Yeah. It's got to go just. If it's not, obviously something like that, it's completely nat. Fully recyclable. It's not recyclable.

It's fully. knack and most of it's polystyrene you could maybe take the plastic bit off the top i don't know but if you can't charity it it's just got to go in the bedroom it's and she's all she doesn't know it's uh she's just lazy um she's not lazy and doesn't check is is more to what you've just said uh but no it's it's just mom mom yeah i hope you're listening to this hope you listen to this all right just called you lazy which actually that's that's like it might be new actually rosy well you might have put it i didn't do it i'm just trying to it wasn't me no but my mom

lazy that's that's a krypton night you're joking every time I ring her I think she'll pretend she's always out walking you know

I think she I think any time she just goes and stands outside right so the traffic she's like I'm just walking a little I'm like no you're not you're not the way you

you're not because actually I'm outside your house and you're sitting in your dressing and watching telly eating crisps so you're in front of a fan so the wind the wind blows on the phone I just can't help that

that generation I'm out out and about I don't know why you've got that treadmill. I got up a five. Got it a five today.

What time were you asleep? Doesn't matter. Was it seven? Yeah. Yeah. It's just bullshit. Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, ba. Hey, you lovely pay, please keep me anonymous.

I'm a day one listener, but first I'm emailer. Thank you. I wanted to share a story of something horrific, which happened to me, sorry, in my youth. I was probably 17 years of age. I'm late 30s now, and this still haunts me when I think of it. Let me set the scene. My first boyfriend had a house party one evening

Whilst his parents were away They were only around 10 of us there, mostly couples Sexy My boyfriend at the time and I Had only had sex a couple of times at this point And it was all very new and exciting And neither of us really knew what to do In terms of foreplay

Whilst the rest of the group were playing Drinking Games downstairs We snuck up to his bedroom One thing led to another And soon we were naked having foreplay Which I was trying to make last As A, we ladies know it helps and B, that's what I'd seen in the films.

Right, a couple of things. There's people downstairs. Yes. Having a party. Yes. Playing drinking games. Yes. And they've gone upstairs.

Yes. Danger, perverted. Also, I've got... Do you remember being young? Do you think... I don't think you did stuff... Did you do stuff about this? I've been like, there's people downstairs.

What are you doing? Yeah. You all know I'm boring. What? You're not that boring. I'm pretty boring. We all know I'm boring. You wouldn't have had sex in a house

of those people downstairs. What are we? Are we on the night out with them or are they just there? Or are we part of the... What do you mean? So we're just disappearing. Yeah, you've just disappeared. To have fun.

Oh my God. Okay, is it my house? Yes. Oh no, I've got to be down. No, they're not using coasters. They could be breaking plates. What if they're leaving the fridge to open? You lie to me.

You lie to me when we first met and got married. Honestly, I swear to God, you lied. You were... Too late. You were not this. I'd see. didn't know you around this year. Well, I did, but I didn't hang out of you.

All right, so, like, you're nearly 18. You've got a girlfriend. You're having a house party. Yeah. You wouldn't go upstairs and have sex? I don't think so. Wow. Okay.

I think I might have been a bit, yeah. More chance I'm doing it now. That's, okay. Because I just don't like having people in my house. Can everyone leave? I'm going to have sex. Can everyone go? First of all, sorry, second of all,

having four players upset is quite a lot. Why? Just weird. We're now having four play. It's just a weird way of free, isn't it? I know, but four play. When you're young, four play is like... Doing four plays.

Amazing. But just... It's a waste of... Honestly, waste of time in my opinion. Come on, just come on. I'm no time for that. TikTok. Literally. My boyfriend was trying to get down to the deed,

so I decided to do something really sexy that I'd seen in a film and bite his lip whilst kissing. Right. This is where Rosie's mysteries could come in. You're going to guess it straight away. And you might get PTSD. Right.

Is it... Okay. What I hadn't mentioned before is that he had very bad acne. Oh, no. Oh, no. Upon biting his lip... She's popped a lip on the bottom.

I felt something pop under my teeth. Yeah, she just popped a spot on the bottom of his lip. I pulled away and put my finger behind my bottom tooth to find a circular intact whitehead. Oh! Oh, no. Shout out to all of my acne suffer. Hey, no, I'm still an acolys suffer.

I was picking some spots this morning. Luckily, I've got to be at a high to multitude of sins now, but I'm still getting, especially I've been on tour. This is just not a good diet. What would you do that? What would you do before a sexual encounter? Would you squeeze all the ones around your lips? I didn't have them.

Oh, babe. Literally, I was dead lucky. I didn't have almost any interaction with girls. So I think when I was younger, when I was my first kissing stuff, like right at the beginning of comp, and then I got really bad acne like year 9 and year 10 like I always had the odd one

but it was like fucking like chronic acne like year 9 year 10 and then by year 11 it had gone and then when I went to college on year 11 there was still something at the beginning I got rid of at the end of year 11 and then when I went to college it was mainly gone there was only the odd one so

so that's why you weren't having sex upstairs because of the agony yeah well that's why I wasn't having sex or being looked at by anyone apart from pointing going fucking hell what's wrong with him Oh. Yeah, it was really bad, really, really bad. Oh, that breaks my heart.

Yeah, year nine, year, 10, year 11. Really, really bad. Oh, baby. But I think it gave us thick skin. Not just because the scar tissue. I think it gave us thick skin because I think it made us be able to be like quite funny. It's a comedian story.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, obviously anyone's, we'll stop holding hands now, but thank you for your support. Anyone's immediate goate thing was your spot your spot your 20 or whatever. So I had to have. A multitude of comebacks Which, you know.

So yeah, sorry to bring them, moved down. But that is, yeah, shout out all me acne suffers. That's incredibly... Unlucky, isn't it? But also, God, if he's still fucking... He's getting down and dirty and he's got a face full of them. Fucking man, man, man, man, man.

I mean, listen, as a spot lover, I'd have been your best mate. Like, I'd have gone wild. Not sexual, though, just best mate. Just friends. Totally platonic, squeeze your face. Listen. I think you would have no.

A little bag we had. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm sorry. No, that's awful. I don't mean it.

And that was just at me, not at me. No, it was obviously just at me. Yeah, no, I mean, awful. Well, I feel like we've ruined it now. But no, listen, how lovely is this? To save his embarrassment, I carried on and we had sex. Although after the disgust of that, I faked it to get over it and done it.

It's not the best, is it? Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Just listened to the episode where he talked about kids not running away anymore and I wanted to tell you that they do. Oh! They do.

My six-year-old daughter recently announced, she's sick of us all. We'll see that a pack of suitcase containing our favorite teddy and three pairs of socks, a blanket in a backpack and a packed lunch of one banana, mini baby belt,

and a packet of prone cocktail crisps. Wow. She then took it one step further and called my grandma, her great-grandma, who lives 80 miles away and told her to sort her bed out because she's coming to live with him. When we asked how she plans on getting the grandma, she very confidently said, I'm getting seven buses. We were in fifth of laughter trying to collect ourselves.

We almost didn't notice that she snuck into my parents' room, found the key for the safe and was about to commit a mini money heist in order to pay for a bus fare. No way. We managed to convince her to not leave immediately because it was late and the buses weren't running, so she agreed to stay at home for the night, but was definitely moving out tomorrow. This went on for four days because she decided that actually she didn't want to move out because she'd missed the iPad.

Brilliant. And they attached a picture of her walking out of the garden with our suitcase. It's very cute. So yeah, kids do, apparently they do run away. I don't think boys run away. Gotta see, no, yeah. It's very much a girl thing. I think boys are just like that.

Incredibly advanced for a six-year-old. As far as pack lunches go, banana, baby bell, pat a crisp say, but, God, well done. A bit of bread and butter, and she's absolutely sorted. Listen, like, you know, something's gone wrong because your child wants to leave, but diet-wise, you're on the right track there. Maybe employ some of your diet repairing

into the other stuff, and then, you know, you'd be all right, shall not want to run away. Bless, man. Fucking banana and a baby. Three pairs of socks. Seven buses. Great. Fucking great, isn't it?

Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babo. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shagman. annoyed. Yes, thank you, thank you. As always,

if you want to get in touch to Shagmarineau at Gmail.com and I said the number earlier, why are you on me back about what's not remember a number? You need to move on.

It's not professional. How are you not knowing this by now? It's getting old. No, because as soon as I remember it, it'll have to change and I'll be like, I can't do this.

I've memorized card details once and then the card run out and honestly, it's never been the same sense. It's pointless. Exactly. Bye. Bye.

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