Short Wave - A New Year's Mad Lib!

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

To ring in the new year, producer Berly McCoy brings host Emily Kwong this homemade science mad lib!See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

You're listening to Shortwave from NPR. Well, hello, producer Burley McCoy. Hi, hostee, Emily Klong. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, indeed. Now, we wouldn't usually have an episode today, right, in observance of the holiday yesterday, but I wanted to do something fun.

I'm here for it. You invited me to this party, so what's going on? I want to revive a tradition that you and former host, Maddie Sophia, unknowingly said, into motion. The science madlib. Oh. Okay, tradition. You mean that one time we did a madlib? Yes. And apparently you really liked it. It has become tradition now. I've spoken. Done. Okay. So,

you know the drill, Emily. I'll ask you to fill in the blank for a list of rando categories and then fit them into this story that I wrote yesterday and then read it to our listeners. Okay. Right. Are you ready? I'm ready. Give me an adjective. Oh my gosh, Burley, you know what I want to say? Burley. Really? Like Burly?

Yeah. I love it. Like Burley, like B-U-R-L-Y. Doesn't that mean like strong? It does. It does. Yeah. Burley. Okay.

A number. Five. All right. A thing. Oh, I want to say thing itself because I watched Wednesday. But I'm going to say the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Okay. That's a good one.

Pot of gold. Another adjective. Ooh. Tempestuous. I don't know what that means. It means like storm-like. Like turbulent. Can we do turbulent?

I know what that means. Turbulent, turbulent. Okay. Noun. Nose? A handheld thing. A potato masher. That's a good one.

That's a life-changing handheld thing. You know how many potatoes I've mashed with forks and then this this potato masher comes into my life and suddenly everything's different? Emily, you only have to mesh one potato with a fork to know you need a potato masher. That's true. I've spent too many years. I'm glad you're on this side. Which is hilarious because the second and next thing, I'll just, I'll just skip around because I'm the boss is a kitchen appliance. Let's say a zester. Ooh. Got to love a zes.

Zester. All right. A year? 3,012. I'll allow it. A substance. P. Like urine? I'm thinking like a green pee. Okay. All right. P. I said what I said. I won't take it back.

But yeah, we can call it by its accurate name, urine. Yeah, I like this. An element on the periodic table. Oh, I love this one. For some reason, the rubidium came to mind. I don't know why. Rubidium. Okay.

Curveball. A gag gift. Oh, my gosh. There's so many good ones. Gag gift is that little candy dispenser that's shaped like a reindeer, but the candy comes out of the reindeer's butt, and it looks like poop. That one. A poop pez dispenser?

Yeah. A candy poop. Yeah. A reindeer droppings candy dispenser. So glad to you. can't see my spelling or my handwriting. Okay. A heat source. A specific heat source. Fire. But like a no, specific. Low torch. Okay. A number again? Zero. Maybe a different number. 12. No. 50 million bagillion. Oh, I like that better. A food item. Chocolate covered cockroaches.

Mm-hmm. Don't knock it till you try it. That's right. A famous person. I mean, Lizzo. shortwave team member, actually two. Name two of our team members. Okay, Thomas Liu. Producer T. Liu. And Rebecca Ramirez. Rebram. Rebram.

Bex. Rebecca Ramirez. Um, okay. A thing that's plural. Platapuses. This is kind of confusing. A weird hobbyist. So like...

Oh. A ham radio operator. Ham? Ham radio operator. What's a ham? Ham radio is a specific. specific type. How about a quilter? Okay? An expletive.

You can't say on the radio, Emily. Yes, I can. No, you can't. You can't. You can't say a radio friendly expletive. I should have added that. Got it. All right. This is why producers are so important. How about dang nabit. Dang, Nabit. And last but not least, a major world problem.

Let's go with good old-fashioned climate change. Good old-fashioned climate change. There we go. Here to stay, not going anywhere, only getting worse. Not if we have something to do with it. All right. For this. You ready?

What's the name of this Madlib? My 2023 experiment. All right, here we go. Now that it's a burly new year. Good start, good start. I'm finally going to try a science experiment I've been waiting to do for five years. attempt to make a brand new pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. I know.

Turbulent, right? I finally collected all of the essential equipment, a nose, a potato masher. I even found a vintage 3,012 zester. Wow. I know. I know. I must have had a time machine for this. The experiment will be tough.

I've got to mix urine and rubidium. to form reindeer-dropping candy dispensers, let it simmer over a blowtorch for 50 million bajillion minutes, and then somehow fuse it with chocolate-covered cockroaches. Oh, gross. But if I pull it off, I will be a regular Lizzo. The highest compliment known to people everywhere. It really is.

But thank goodness I'll have help from producer T. Lou, Thomas Liu, our resident quilter and producer Rebram. Rebecca Ramirez, our expert in platypuses. What will we do without them? I feel like we have a real chance. I can just imagine when the experiment works, I'll exclaim, dang, nab it. And voila, we'll have solved climate change.

Hey, it's got a happy ending. It's got a happy ending. Burley, did we just like solve climate change? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And 2023 has only just begun. Yep. Don't worry, world, we've got it covered. You can relax.

And you can tune in to shortwave every week. day this year. We will be here for you through the highs, through the lows, through the cockroaches. And we're looking forward to spending some time with you. I'm Emily Kwong. I'm Burley McCoy. Thanks for listening. We appreciate you.

Ladies. Bye. Be a regular Lizzo.