Short Wave - TikTok's favorite zoologist quizzes us on the most dangerous animals

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

Mamadou Ndiaye uses comedy to teach animal facts, but there's nothing funny about these deadly ones. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences.NPR Privacy Policy

Hi, short waivers, producers Burley McCoy. And Margaret Serino here. Hey there. We are taking this week to catch up and wind it down. We've got a hand-picked week of Feel Good Encourse for you. And I get to pick the first one. Burley, I'm really excited to hear which one you picked. Well, I love anything that'll make me laugh.

So I picked our episode with Mamadu Jai. He's our self-proclaimed internet zoologist and TikTok star. I loved that episode. Also, side note, his TikTok videos are literally gems. I, like, binged them all in one day. Right? Why are tigers built like the world's most dangerous biracial traffic home when half their life involves playing hide and seek for a living? Well, I'll tell you.

So this was one of our quiz shows. It's all about dangerous animals. And I love it because there are a lot of jokes. Yeah, they're like homicidal vacuum cleaners. And, you know, the food comes to them. I also love working on these episodes that are super sound rich with a bunch of music and sound effects. And I personally loved the smack talk that was going on. Emily, this is the 100 ways that I'm going to end you in a quiz bowl.

Oh, my God. So, dear listeners, I hope this episode makes you giggle. And make sure to listen tomorrow to hear the one I picked out, too. Excited. Yeah. Okay, here's our show. You're listening to Shortwave from NPR. Hey, there, shortwaver.

Hey, Shortwave. Aaron. Wait, Emily. Aaron, what are you doing here? I'm hosting this episode. Pretty certain, no. This is my show. Actually, you're both wrong.

What? I'm the host now. Excuse me, who are you? Mystery host? Oh, right. I'm Mamadu Jai, internet zoologist, the random animal fat guy on TikTok, and the author of the new book, 100 animals that can end you. Oh, and current host.

I'm willing to pass the crown to you. Nice to meet you. We can bow down on this, Mamadu. Actually, our producer, Burley McCoy, introduced me to some of your TikToks and the YouTube videos you've got on the channel Casual Geographic. They're hilarious. And I mean, you're basically using comedy to explain animal facts. Elephants have one huge fear and it's actually being used to save their lives.

And no, it's not what you think. It's not mice. Elephants are actually terrified of bees. They don't mess with them. Let's talk about the fact that there was a special breed of jacked steroid lions living in Africa. There's never been a case of a healthy wolf murking a human in North America. Like ever. You're more likely to get crossed off.

the sentence by a squirrel. Also, I went to howling wolves' horn. My sister was attacked by a squirrel once. It was traumatic. She never got over it. What got you so interested in animals? Honestly, I really couldn't tell you. Like, normally when people ask me that, I'd normally answer with, I read zoo books,

or I watched Animal Planet religiously. Of course. But honestly, all of those were a symptom of me already being interested in animals. Well, it was enough to it sounds like to publish this book. A hundred animals that can fucking end you is the name? Emily, you just wanted to swear. on the radio. I really did. I really did. Brilliant. Why'd you want to write about dangerous animals in particular?

Well, I just figured a book like that would be a great way to kind of marry two interests I've always had, one being the environment in a natural world, along with like the fast-paced, quick-witted humor that I've kind of become known for, and just turned it into a book that can appeal to people with various levels of interests in the animal world, while also educating readers on all the creative ways nature tries to kill us, because trust me, there's a lot. Basically, my goal was to make the kind of book that I would have wanted to read as a kid. And honestly, it sounds like the kind of book I would have wanted to read as a kid, but our producers actually barred us from reading the book.

Which is highly suspicious because the last time this happened, it's because it was a quiz show about animals. Well, Emily, I hope you're ready to put those guessing skills to the test. Because that's exactly what we're going to do today. I knew this was happening. Today on the show, your two hosts will face off in another quiz bowl. It's called G-Golly Whizble. I'm just in fact checking that.

What she said. Based on my new recent book, 100 animals that can fucking end you. I'm Emily Kwong. I'm Aaron Scott. And I'm Mamadu Jai, and you're listening to Shortwave from NPR. All right, quiz host Mamadu Jai here.

For this episode, you have to answer a series of questions about animals in my book, which you haven't read yet. But like, you're going to, right? Yeah, for sure. I think it's been decided. I'm ready to be ended.

Glad we got that squared away. The quickest buzzing gets the guess first. So you got to think fast. Emily, this is the 100 ways that I'm going to end you in a quiz bowl. All through this down. Where's the nice Aaron Scott that I've come to know over the past few months? I am sweating. Here we go.

This question is about the African wilderness. Which is shot full of dangerous wildlife just waiting to kill you in the brush? Which of these animals is so infamous it's earned nicknames like Black Death and Widowmaker? Is it A, the African elephant, B, the black rhinoceros, C, the Cape Buffalo, D, the hippopotamus, or E, the spotted hyena? I'm going with D, the hippopotamus. Those things are mean. They are, but that is incorrect. B, rhinoceros, the black rhinoceros. Good guess. Also incorrect. It's actually the Cape Buffalo.

What? The Buffalo? The Cape Buffalo? is widely considered to be one of Africa's most malicious herbivores, causing an estimated 200 flatlines a year, and most of those are hunters who would never return back to their wives and children. Hence the name Widowmaker. They're also one of the few animals that will actively seek revenge.

Injured Cape Pueblo will retreat into tall, dense brush, and if the hunter that wounded them is bold enough to follow, the 1,200-pound tank will ambush them from behind and then wait for the mortally injured hunter to get back up. Big mistake, because at which point it charges against, Not only that, herds in the hundreds, by the way, have been known to stalk, circle, and unalive lines that are caught on their own. Scary stuff. Wow.

I'm staying away from Buffalo. That's super intense. Malicious herbivores. So, you both got that wrong. Not a great start. Maybe you'll have better luck with this question. We're going to go to Australia, the land of, if you mess around, you will find out. Or plenty of animals have interesting adaptations to avoid conflict and to put your heart on unemployment.

Which of these small but deadly animals is not venomous? Is it A, the Iro-Kanji jellyfish, B, the Fugu blowfish, C, the blue-ring octopus, or D, the platypus? Emily C, the blue-ring octopus. Octopi, from what I understand, they're just smart and kind of shy, but they're not out to end you, right? She's so wrong. That is incorrect. Totally venomous.

What? Aaron, what's your guess? I'm going to go with blowfish because normally I think of them is super venomous, so I think you're trying to trick us here. Huh, interesting. And that is correct. The answer is actually B, the Fugu Blowfish. The Fugu blowfish is not venomous.

It's only the most poisonous thing on the planet. The difference is venomous animals will inject their venom into you, where poisonous animals are a threat to animals that eat or touch them. Basically, with venomous, if they bite you, you die. If poisonous, you bite them, you die. The fugu is armed with a crippling toxin known as tetrida toxin, which is about a good 1,200 times more potent than cyanide, and why one fish has the potential to delete 30 people.

Doesn't stop them from being a delicacy to some people. And Emily, you guess the blaring octopus. Fun fact, it's the size of a golf ball, and it is toxic enough to kill 26 men. Wow. I love that I won that one. I feel like almost not a technicality. I'm going to take it.

I know Aaron's supposed to be my mortal enemy right now, but I'm actually kind of proud of him because if Shortwave gets none of these, I'm going to end us. So this is becoming a collaborative game. Mabidu, what is the next animal? The next question is about a list that I made in the book. I talk about animals that look deadly but aren't.

This is that list plus one animal that can actually unsubscribe you from life. Which of these animals is actually, dangerous. Is it A. the cone snail. B, the whip scorpion. C, the piranha, or D, the milk snake? D the...

No, no, no, no. No, no. It's C the piranha. That is actually incorrect. Oh, my gosh. I'm so bad at this. Technically. Technically. All right. Aaron. I'm going to go with D. The Milk Snake, Emily's initial guest. because it's going to be so rich if it's right. That would hurt, wouldn't it?

Well, lucky for Embly, the milk snake is also incorrect. My pride is bit scared. The answer was actually A, the cone snail. Of course, the most innocuous, innocent little one after watching Marcel the shell with shoes on, I trust everything in a shell. And that's how they get you. So the thing with cone snails is, one, they're actually one of the most venomous animals in the entire ocean. But it's not just that they're venomous. What makes them special is that their venom consists of a combination of different toxins.

And each snail has a different combination. That's why if you mess around and get stung, there is no anti-venom. The best hospitals can do is manage your symptoms long enough for you to not flatline and die. But it's also been nicknamed the cigarette snail because according to urban legend, getting stung meant you have enough time to smoke one cigarette before, you know, you're out for good. Now, that's kind of a myth. And with immediate medical attention, you'll probably be fine. the pain is something your body will never let you forget.

The idea that a snail could end you. Way to go nature. Like round of applause for evolution. Makes me appreciate sharks a whole lot more. Anyway, next question. The coconut crab lives in Indian and South Pacific oceans and can grow up to three feet long and weigh in at nine pounds. They truly do not discriminate,

meaning they eat everything without prejudice. They eat fruits, nuts, and seeds, but also the carcasses of dead animals like cats and chickens. The question is, which of the following is theorized to have been eaten by coconut crabs? Was it A, the company's holiday fruitcake? B, all the coral leaf snakes on a small island essentially rendering them extinct. C, half a pig carcass in one week. Or was it D. Amelia Earhart's body?

I'm going with D. Amelia Earhart's. That's by far the thing that people spend too much time theorizing about. That is correct. It was Amelia Earhart's body. What an ending. But fun fact, coconut crabs weren't just theorized to have eaten half a pig's carcass in a week. They actually did it. I truly did not expect this when I showed up to work today.

I know. It just got real dark. I mean, this quiz show about things killing things just got dark. I don't know why I didn't see that coming. And the best part is we're not even done yet. We're slowly getting to the end, though. All right, all right. It's still anybody's game.

And since I'm awarding made up points for fun, based on my personal biases. Next question. From this list of animals, which has the highest hunting success rate in the wild? Is it A, the cheetah, B, the sea horse, C, the African blackfooted cat, or D, a pack of wolves?

D, a pack of wolves. That is actually incorrect. I can't get a point to save my life. I'm sorry, Emily. I'm going with C, the cats. Everyone knows cats are more dangerous than dogs. That is a very good point. And if seahorse wasn't an option, you would have gotten it.

The correct answer was actually the seahorse. It's the seahorse? How? They have no arms. They just spin around in little circles, right? Seahorses are what I call it cheat code. They have about a 90% success rate while hunting. What seahorses do is they'll stay as still as possible.

And then in a split second, they'll just inhale any of the small crustaceans they like to eat for food. And they are devastatingly accurate with it. So they stay still and just wait for the prey to come to them and then swallow it up with their little seahorse mouths? Yeah, they're like homicidal vacuum cleaners. And you know, the food comes to them. It's like DoorDash, but you don't have to pay. If I was a creature, I'd want to be this one.

I'd want to sit cozy in the ocean with my non-arms and my vacuum murder mouth and just wait for things to come to me. This would be my strategy. Well, that was definitely a good game. And it looks like our winner here is Aaron. Thank you. Thank you. Mamadu, thank you so much for guest hosting this Shorewave episode. Like, come back anytime?

I actually might have to make this hosting job regular thing. Yes. We'll get you a time card. Mamadu Jai is the author of the book 100 animals that can f*** end you. You can also find Momadu's work on TikTok. Mamadu, what's your username? It is M-Jai underscore 97. M-N-D-I-A-Y-E-E- underscore 97.

My Instagram is the same. username, and you can also find me on YouTube. I make long-reform content under Casual Geographic. You can find a link to all of this in our episode notes. This episode was produced by Burley McCoy, edited by Rebecca Ramirez, and fact-checked by Ubi-Levin. Our audio engineer was Gilly Moon. Giselle Grayson is our senior supervising editor, Beth Donovan is our senior director, and Anya Grundman is our senior vice president of programming. I'm Emily Kwong. I'm Mamadu Jai. I'm Aaron Scott, and thanks as always for listening to Shortwave from NPR.