Should I Delete That? - 90210 and beyond with Shenae Grimes-Beech

Episode Date: June 11, 2023

This week on the pod, the girls chat to actress and content creator Shenae Grimes-Beech. Shenae shot to fame on 90210, after featuring in the tv show Degrassi in her native Canada. Shenae was alone in Hollywood, navigating her late teens, and grappling with misinformation and harassment from the tabloid press. This newfound attention caused rifts within the cast and meant that she felt more alone than when she arrived to the States. Shenae shares her story, smashes the misconceptions invented by the tabloids, and discusses life beyond 90210.Follow Shenae on Instagram @shenaegrimesbeech and Youtube @shenaegrimesbeechand Tiktok @joshandshenaebeechFollow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, you're frozen in time. Like, I'll get comments and it's like, wow, she's aged. And I'm like, it's been 20 fucking years. Like, of course I have. What do you mean, you know? But you are, you're frozen in time in people's minds as that character that they love. Hello, and welcome back to Should I Delete That? I'm Alex Light.

And I'm M. Clarkson, and we now nail our introductions. Owl, it's sunny. It's Monday. Tell me something good. Good. I would love to give you something deep and meaningful. However, my good is that I am about to receive any time now, because I've been tracking the parcel, I'm about to receive a box of cookies that I have been lusting over on Instagram for a really, really long time. There are these huge cookies. Think fist-sized cookies and they're filled inside. With what? with Nutella, pistachio, I think Biscophe, Bikinda Bueno, like Milky Way. There's like a whole assortment. I'm so fucking excited. No, you had me, you lost me.

You had me with the full play and then you just, you bulls did it before the client. I can't, I don't want both. No, I don't like, I don't get it. I don't like Nutella. I was that weird kid that doesn't like Nutella. How? Don't like Biscoth.

Don't like pistachios. What else did I like? Any of those? Kind of, I'm not going to fight you for them. What I want. Do they do vegan? I, I, because when you're talking about cookie, filled, size of your fist, like, in and around my mouth,

I would, I would just, that's all I want is a big chunky, gooey cookie. And I just can't, I don't even, I want a white chocolate one, and I just don't think they exist. And it's all I want. Okay, I'm, I'm Googling a white chocolate vegan cookie. That's got to exist. A really good one. A chunky, gooey, fucking just.

What is coming up is, make it yourself. No, I don't want to make it myself. Yeah, I get that. I get that. Anyway, good, I happy for you. By stark contrast, I went running. That is my good. You have been very excited to go running. It's the good as good of all the time.

I downloaded a character 5K, which I have, it's been invented since I have been a runner, so I didn't use it, but obviously a lot of the hags love it. So I was like, right, it's my time. I've downloaded it. Denise Lewis, the Olympian, taught me through. yeah um she's amazing and yeah it i felt like an olympian i just was absolutely sliving i was driving it was so good it was and obviously like i'm just in bits but like physically i was like fucked

but it was just fab i loved it did you get the endorphins oh my god yeah it's like a crap fiend i was the happiest person ever honestly i it was i i i i that's it that's i i'm just but did you enjoy it while you were doing it or just after no wow you enjoyed while well i loved it I was giddy. I was honestly giddy. It was embarrassing. I literally was being looked out in the park like, huh, she's escaped from somewhere, like no bags, just running. In your pajamas. Tits flying.

Anything bad? Anything bad, please? My bad right now, very much of current bad, is that my dog is insane. I think she's driving me absolutely mad. She barks at absolutely anything. And she does it when I'm on a call. and I know it's my fault it's not her fault it's not a bad dog

it's bad owners and I know that but that's where we're at I can't go back now I mean I could I could help teach her the right ways now but it's I'm we are where we are and it's annoying she's just she's annoying me a little bit at the moment

now I feel bad yeah that's not the way to the dog's heart that you see she can't win because she's all over Dave of course she's all over Dave. She knows she's driving you mad. You're in a toxic relationship. You need a break or a therapist.

Why don't you get a therapist? Like a couple's therapist for me in the dark. Yeah. Oh, my God, imagine you show up. Okay, my bad, I'm foregoing. Because the sun is shining. Okay. And that's just so good.

I just don't think bad things happen in the sun. And that is not. You're good. No, it's my other good. I'm not having a bad. I am so. factually wrong. Obviously bad things happen in the sun all the time. But not to let forest fires for once in armies. It's normally sunny. But I digress. It's sunny here and nothing bad's happening

in my life. So winner-winner, chicken dinner. Yeah, so it's a bad theory, but it's a theory. The sun's shining, I am happy. I will resume my bads in October. Boo. Boom. For now, have you got anything awkward. My awkward. My awkward is another repeat offender. I parked in someone else's driveway again. But I very confidently parked in someone's driveway. Very confidently did my seven steps switch off and get out the car system. Yeah. And very confidently locked the car and got my bag out of the car, locked the car, stud up, started walking and I was like, not my house, not to my house. I bet they think you're selling something I just think they think there's something wrong with me

well yeah that too maybe you've escaped from somewhere too in my defence the driveways are very very similar they're all very similar and you just don't know which one you're turning into your own house you could argue that like all bums are quite similar but you know your own

like it's like all babies are quite similar you know what I mean like yeah okay it's like oh yeah the trees are the same but you know the one Outside your own house. No, I don't. No, I fucking don't.

I honestly, I would love to be in your brain just for a day. Like, how nice would it be to swap brains for a day? Would you like to do that? If we could, we can't. But if we could, would you want to? Yeah, I would be intrigued to know. I would be really intrigued to be in your brain for a day. Why?

Why? Because I don't think I really understand it fully. Why? I don't know. I just, I feel like it's, I just feel like it's so different. different from mine, but is it? I don't know. And like, I'd love to go on a walk with your brain and see what you see. Or like, go on and run with your brain. So it would just feel like fascinating. Yeah, I'd quite like it. I think we'd understand each other better because I don't understand.

Like, I remember FaceTiming you last week or whatever and I was like, hey, look, do you want to see the outside? It was like, I'd sort of like show you the outside on my phone because he were like, I won't see it otherwise. I don't understand. I was like, why are you showing me a tree? I don't care. I don't care. I really don't care. I would love to swap.

I can't. I'll manage my expectations, but I would love to spot brains for a day. It would be so good. It would be so interesting. But I think we, I think it would be, I think it would be really freaky because I think you probably realize straight away that like someone else's brain just isn't like yours. Obviously, that sounds stupid. But like, you know how people, some people don't have a narrative, a monologue, and in a monologue.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or some people only think in pictures weird. I don't know, Al, I don't know what I think in. I don't know. People ask all the time and I don't know. I don't know the answer.

That's my bad. I don't know how I think. I don't know if I do think. I've still got the word bechamel in my head. But do you think him worse? No. Surely yes, because bechamel's still there. But like, I like pictures too. Like I can picture a plum.

Mmm, delicious, plums. But then I can see Phil Dunphy eating a plum right now. But then how do I know he's called Phil Dumphy if I don't have the words? You know? I mean, I must have words. I don't know. Yeah, you must have words. But do you like talk to yourself? Yeah, sort of. Not really. Quietly. Or not really. Maybe I just think to me, I don't know. I don't know. I'm really panicking now. I don't know. Okay, you need to, okay, all right, just, okay, so if I'm like sitting here and I realize I haven't done something, I literally say in my head,

fuck, I haven't done that. Like, I just say it inside. Do you do that? But can you hear? your own voice when you say it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, literally my voice. What? What? Yeah. Oh, God, no, I don't do that.

I just know that, fuck. I just think, fuck, I haven't done that. And I think that a lot. That's probably the biggest thought I think, because of fuck, I haven't done that. Oh, yeah, that's so funny. I wonder how you think it, though. I get very upset by this.

Can we move it on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, all right. Thank you. What's your awkward? Well, now that's my awkward. My awkward is that I clearly don't think. But my awkward, awkward, It's actually from a few weeks ago, and it's so awkward that I've actually had to have some time to process it.

But you know, Alex and I went away for our anniversary, for our 10-year anniversary last, like, three weeks ago. And we had a really lovely time, and he put me in for a massage, which was very nice, but honestly, did not even touch the sides. No, it was just, I was like, you need to go harder. And she was like, insurance says I can't. I was like, right. Help. That's so annoying. I know, I was like, when they just stroke you.

Yeah, I was like, get in there. I have been carrying a child. Anyway, I'm fine, but when I was waiting for my massage, I was sitting in the waiting room of this very, very lovely spa, and I was sitting there, and there were a couple in front of me who were very much in connellingus. Is that the pastor? We've done this before. Anyway.

Cuddylingus? I don't think that's what you mean. I mean sexual. They were clearly having a sexual weekend, and I was clearly not welcome in the waiting room. It was horrible. They were obviously there for couples massage. They were obviously a new couple and they were obviously free with their bodies which they absolutely should be and have the right to be. It was awful. I was sitting in the back with a glass of water in my dungarees feeling like a massive fucking chump because they were sitting in front of me and it

was like we were on a bus for some reason like the sofas were like facing all towards the door so it was like we were on a bus and I was just sitting behind them and they were like holding, not even holding hands. They were so much closer than holding hands and they were like whispering sweet sex nothings into their ear and into each other's ears and stroking I can't get in a fact

that you said c c culling linguis c cuny linguis Is that what I mean Cunny lingus which is oral sex I think it's both ways I'm sure they were into that owl

I'd say they did conillinguists analingus vaginal lingus oh no it's just it's just women it's just it's just oral sex on women

it's not our men I bet you he did it. I bet you we did it. They were all over it. Anyway, it was a horrible, horrible. My heart stopped when you said that. I was like, oh my God, I can't believe you witnessed that. No, I didn't. I witnessed foreplay. I just watched a fuck-tron of foreplay. Oh, my God, Bill. I am so sorry. I just troddener. Um, yeah, it was gorgeous. It was horrific. I have no wonder I was so tense in that massage. I was like, oh my God. Why am I here? So yeah, awkward, awkward, but now. Okay. Yes.

We have a star, a A star, a Hollywood star in our midst. Oh my God, she is a Hollywood star. Oh, no, she's not our first star. No, she's not our first Hollywood star. No. Jamila Jamil. Yeah, we are Hollywood haunts. We love them all.

We got to interview Sheney Grimes Beach of 90210 fame. It was super, super interesting. Really hope you enjoy it. Okay, I'll go. I'm going to start. and I'm going to be, I actually played it really cool considering when I came in here. You played it so cool.

I didn't make a deal of it. I was a huge 90210.10. Oh, really? Yeah, when Al messaged to the WhatsApp group and she was like, is anyone a 902101 fan? I was like, I was in the shower and I was like, what's she done? I can see it on my watch.

I was like, I can't wait to tell her that I am. Because obviously you guys have been in touch and then I've been, I felt like I played it cool when I walked in, but yeah, like I was a huge fan. I had no idea. Fang girl, thank you. So it's amazing. to meet you and thank you for coming and I mean I you're probably so sick of talking about

I have a million questions about like what it was like to be on a show like that uh-huh um just because I watched it as a British teenager like with bottled dyed like basically orange hair because I could never get the shade right feeling so uncool and just like my mom wouldn't buy me cool clothes like dick like I just I was a perpetually uncool basically and I was watching these shows, like as so many of us were like, be it gossip girl, 9-0-2-1-0 like, it was such an era, right? Yeah. And I was like, that could never be me.

And I know you went on April Pearson's podcast, Michelle from Skins. Yes. Because Skins was all like... Yes. I felt like Skins was like the British kind of... Yeah. Skins, the caliber was a little bit... Yeah, I don't know, but yeah.

But I guess it was just like watching teenagers. Like those are the teenagers. we were watching so we had like our like seedy British ones like smoking splice and killing each other and then we had like a little more polish yeah a little less gritty yeah um so like what's that like tell me everything because it's just mad I didn't watch it and I really wish I had but like my little sisters watched it so I'm you're younger than me so I wonder did I just miss it yeah because I watched the OC religiously like say you was my I think nine oh two and yeah and my husband watched the OC and and watched 902.1.

And you watch 902.1. And you watch 902.0. 30. 30. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much same as me. Yeah.

So that makes sense. I was like, that would have been right up my street. Why wouldn't I have watched that? It would be, you should watch it now. I'm going to watch it now. Yeah. Because the O.C, like, when it aired,

because I think they ran for four seasons and it was all of my high school, which you guys would call, like, secondary school years. So when that show wrapped, it was like my final year of high school and I was so emotionally connected. into these characters. So it's very cool getting to hear that like our show was that in that same kind of like chapter. Totally that. But I guess it was like brutal because again, uncool, pale, terrible haired, British life watching this like, is it Beverly Hills?

L.A.? Like where was it? I mean, where did we actually shoot? None of those places. But it was supposed to be Beverly Hills, yes. Where did you shoot? We shot in Manhattan Beach. So we were actually like down a little more south than Beverly Hills. And then a lot of our locations were even more south, like Long Beach and stuff like that. So a little bit out of

the way. Okay. And how was it filming? I mean, like the most adult storylines. Like you had like pregnancies and like I can't even remember. I mean they're like it was just huge like huge lives for like yeah. Yes, lots of drama. Was it when you were living your life like like? I think because I came from Degrassi. I did a show called DeGrasi in Canada for, I think I was on that for four years before going to 90210.1. And DeGrasse covered like a lot of like super dark, really heavy, you know, teen pregnancies and all that kind of stuff. So I don't know. I think I was like just used to that like hyper teen drama storylines. But I found a lot of similarities in a way with my character, especially that first year. she was really pegged as like the fish out of water, you know, the Kansas girl going to Beverly Hills and doing that. And I was, you know, coming from Canada and living an experience that was one of my dreams that felt incredibly far out of reach for me. So I definitely identified a lot with that. And it was just surreal the whole time because I was doing something on a scale that I had never experienced before, like a proper American network television show.

the scale of that was just so different from any of the Canadian work that I had done before. And we were, I think the coolest part was just like the bands, the bands that we would get to play were just insane. Yeah, you did have insane music. Yeah, the musicians were incredible. So it was just, yeah, very kind of like over-the-top experience. Do you feel like that was why you were cast in part because of your similarity with Anna? I have a good story about that. So I, when I had originally auditioned, I, I believe I had put down on tape for silver.

So, because I really wanted to like the cool girl, you know, role, of course. Her storyline was so much, bless her. Yeah. Like, she just, she lives a tiring life. Yes. Like, she was like, she cared for her mom and she was like a full grade. She was like 16. And I was looking at her and I was like, I can't, I can't do any of this.

No. I can barely join up my handwriting, but you crack on. Yeah. Yeah, she was cool. Yeah, she was so cool. I find it that to my hat. My mom would be like, wake. What have you done?

She, her character was so awesome. So I had auditioned for that. And then I got told, I had put it on tape in Toronto. Oh, you're flying out, you know, in the next couple of days to L.A. You're going to screen test, which is the final audition before, you know, you either get the job or you don't get the job. When I got to L.A., they told me that I was actually going to be testing for two roles. So for Silver and Annie, which was really cool because it just increased my opportunity. but I went in for the screen test

and did silver first and that's when I met Jess who ended up getting cast as silver and I went in and did the audition I can I swear? I fucked up my lines in front of like 40 suits and like the pressure was just insane

and I went back to the waiting room watched super tall gorgeous cool Jessica walk in to read for silver and I was just like sitting there in the waiting room crying being like, I can't believe I just blew like the biggest opportunity ever. And then everybody cleared out for Silver. And I was the only one testing for Annie. So I went back in. And the scene that I was reading for the test was the scene with her dad where she's like, I don't belong here. I just want to go back home. Like da-da-da-da-da. So I was just bawling, like meaning every word

that I was saying. And it worked. I got the part. And that was kind of. of it. So like, yeah, I think it definitely did help. I think it did help. I think the creator saw that in me. They ended up offering the part to Hillary Duff and the part of Annie. Yeah. Yeah. Because the network wanted a big, you know, a big celebrity to kind of carry the show. And the showrunners that they had brought on were the showrunners from freaks and geeks, which made a lot of stars. I don't know if you've ever seen that, but that show is incredible. I think it was only one season because it was ahead of its time. But they were like, you know, it's 90210.1. Like you don't need a huge celebrity to carry this. The name carries it. You have the opportunity right now to

like create a new gang, you know, for people to fall in love with. So they really had my back the whole way along because I was that green fish out of water that nobody knew. So Hillary ended up passing on the job, thankfully. And yeah, and I ended up getting it. But I've been so different with Henry Duff. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would have watched it.

You're different vibes, aren't you? Very, yes. Oh my God, the pressure for actors. Like, my heart no stopped when you're telling me that. And you were a baby. When you were like 18? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Having to like, I would die. I would crumble now. I was there by myself. Like, my mom didn't come with me. So I was just, yeah. Wait, did you do much school then? Because if you'd done Degrassi for four years before that, yeah.

I was in a regular school. and kind of moving through it when you're on set. Like you have tutoring hours that you have to legally get done. So you kind of sit there and do your homework or whatever when you're on set. And then I had, I think, one credit left when I ended up getting 902.1. And so I just did a photography course remotely to wrap everything up. But yeah. Schools always really important to me.

It's been the one, I think, not regret, but like if I could go back and live another lifetime, I would have loved to carry on in school because I did well and I really loved it. It's not too late. Not in the cards. Yeah. Two babies, a lot of financial responsibilities. I don't know if going back to school is in the cards.

But you never know. So did you find out that day that you got Annie? No. I had done it and then I went back home and I was studying for school. I had deferred acceptance into Montreal University because I wanted to try to go to Columbia and New York. And so I was studying. studying to take the SATs because you don't have to take the SATs in Canada and months had gone

by. So I thought the part was gone. Like I thought it was over. And I got a call at home by myself with my SAT flashcards for my agent being like, are you sitting down? Your life just changed. You got the job. And like nobody picked up their phones. So I was just like dying with this news. And like you could Google me for the first time in my life. And my picture would come up side by side with Hillary Depp, this girl that I had watched on TV since I was a child. And I was just like, what is that? Like literally overnight my life changed and nobody was around to know about it. Oh my God, that's absolutely mad. Yeah, it was crazy. But what, like, you said like that was like the dream. It's like getting this huge role and like

moving to LA, like having this this role in LA, like that's huge. Did the reality live up to your expectations? Like did it feel like the dream when it actually happened? and it all played out. I think it was like, it was a very surreal, almost out of body experience for a lot of it. Like I remember being at the up fronts for, which is like the up fronts are like an event that you go to

at the beginning of a new season. And it's where the network kind of rolls out the new shows, kind of announces what they've renewed. And so all the casts are there and whatever. And I remember like deer in headlights. Like I know the exact photo because Straub. Jazz, who ended up being silver, like was essentially dragging me down the carpet because I just had no idea, like, what was going on. There were so many flashes of cameras. I'd never,

ever seen anything like that, let alone been in front of it. So she dragged me down the whole way being like, just keep smiling, you know? And I was like, okay. And then when we got inside, the gravity of it really hit because we didn't, we'd never filmed anything together. We got picked up for a full season without having ever shot a scene together, which is very rare. And we, so we didn't, they normally play these trailers of the shows to come. We didn't have one. So they showed kind of a teaser of like original 90210 footage of like just the insane fandom and the level of icons that these original cast members really were of them getting off planes in Japan and being like, by hundreds and thousands of fans at the airports and all of this shit.

And we were just like, oh, my God. And everyone kept asking us, like, are you ready for your life to change? And I was like, no. Like, I don't even know what you're... You just can't even understand that. And then when you're watching that video, obviously, you know, we weren't the OG. So it never got to that kind of extent of, like, you know, fandom and all the rest of it. But still, just kind of seeing how big the shoes that we now, we kind of had the pressure.

of stepping into was like a very jarring experience. So I think at first it was, yeah, like everything you want to tick off of the box if you're like a super fan of pop culture like I was as a child. You know, paparazzi, following you down the street and all of that kind of stuff. And meeting celebrities, I'll never forget. I was at a bar once and Tofer Grace was there and who played Eric on that 70s show, which is a show that I again watched growing up. And he was like, hey, and I was like, hi, like, thinking he must be mistaking me for someone. He's like, I keep seeing you in a bikini, like, all over the place. And I was like, holy shit, he actually knows who I am.

He's, like, referencing the promo photos that, yes, are plastered all over the city. And, like, Eric from that 70s show is talking to me right now. Like, he knows who I am. Like, that was a very, like, vivid moment for me, a memory. But, yeah, just, like, famous people, like, real famous people that I had grown up watching and looking at and reading about in the tabloids and all that stuff like they knew who I was and Hollywood is a very fucking weird thing where it's like you're famous too okay you know like everybody's just like yeah we're all part of the same club and it really is like that um so it was a very

bizarre bizarre experience um and then it yeah it got dark pretty quick you know like it's it's it's not fun to be you know 19 years old living by yourself having to run like feel like you need to run red lights because there are grown men in cars behind you and you're circling the block to avoid going home because you don't want the 40-something year old creep

who keeps running the red lights to like know where you live all of those kind of moments definitely stacked up and I think the cons ended up outweighing a lot of the pros after a little while did you read Jeanette McCurdy's book

No I didn't It was amazing about being, I guess, a child star. And I guess you weren't really in that you were like, but you're so young. Yeah. And my main takeaway from that book was how brutal Hollywood can be for young people and particularly young women. Did you, like, I guess, in yourself,

did you feel confident and, like, sure that, not that you were doing the right thing, but like sure that you were sure of yourself. Like, did you feel in this? Like, no, I've got it. Like, I know what I'm doing. Like, I'm going to, or was it just the whole time, like, waiting for your feet? Because that's the feeling I get from Hollywood is that you, you don't, your feet don't touch the ground very often.

Yeah. I think for me, like, by the time season two rolled around, I just decided that I was going to make myself as boring as physically possible. Really? that I had no one had anything to say about me anymore because I was just I felt so beaten up by the end of that first season like I think Hollywood young Hollywood they were like waiting for the next bad girl like Lindsay had kind of aged out like she you know like all of these like Misha Barton yeah all of these girls had kind of like okay they'd aged out of that like young Hollywood reckless like rebel one and because like I was a chain smoker and and I was legally in my home country able to go out and I would go to bars with my friends or whatever but I wasn't 21 again nothing scandalous like I've never you know I've never done hard drugs I've never like done a lot of the like really sketchy kind of stuff that they wanted to spin the story to make me out to be doing yeah um but it was like they kind of

plucked me and they were like nobody knows this kid's backstory like let's make one you know like let's let's call her anorexic let's call her a cocaine user let's call her this let's call her that um let's call her a bitch let's say the whole cast hates her like all of this kind of stuff and they were doing that a lot oh god yeah like it was just crazy i was really it psychologically like did a number on me because again i didn't have a support system out there i was just by myself kind of thrown to the wolves and having to keep my chin up and how did everybody in your life react to that while it's happening i think you know my mom

my mom it was hard for her because she knew that I was the kid that like I was going to do whatever I wanted no matter what it wasn't like oh you know if I was your mother I would have kept you I would have never let you go to L.A. to like experience all of that by yourself but I had two younger brothers they were in high school and my mom works full time like she couldn't just uproot the whole family to move to California with me so the only thing she could do was just like support me from a distance so I would spend hours on the phone with my mom every day just like crying. She'd be up at whatever time o'clock in the morning, talking to me on my way to work.

She would be up at whatever time in the middle of the night I was rapping to talk to me until I basically went to sleep. And it was just like, you know, it was the best that she could do and it was the best that I could do to kind of cope is just kind of lean into that and make sure that I at least felt grounded in like who I actually was. because it's hard to not start to believe the stories that you're reading. Yeah, and what about the other cast as well? If they're painting you as having fractions with the other cast and stuff, how did that manifest?

It played out. Like, it definitely played out. It wasn't a good, healthy environment behind the scenes. And, you know, me and my castmate, one of my castmates have kind of talked about that a little bit in the past, but it was a very unhealthy environment behind the scenes. Yeah. And I think it comes natural. I mean, four or five of the lead girls were Scorpio's.

When you've got, I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound good. Scorpios can hold a grudge for the longest of all the signs. Oh, amazing. And they all, you know, we love to kind of like, we either, like, kind of clam up in our little shell or we like to be, like, the center of attention. You know, a lot of people in entertainment of Scorpios for a reason. So when you've got a lot of, like, late teen, early 20s, female. kind of vying for the spotlight and whatever.

It can be kind of dramatic anyway. And I think we were also picking up on a lot of like the previous cast drama because like the Shannon Doherty, Jenny Garthory Spelling drama was so notorious. Like it just and people were constantly kind of linking their story and ours because it was like a fun thing to kind of do like a fun headline to make or whatever. But I would just like kind of, you know, it was hard. at the age that I was at, again, having no real support system around me at home to kind of make me feel better on the weekend to show up at work again on Monday after whatever headline had come out, you know, that week and like try to hold my chin up as though the hundred and something people that I was working with, like weren't judging me a little bit based on whatever they'd read

or, you know, whatever, what have you. So it was not great. not great I've got two questions can't decide which one okay which one to go first but do you think this might be a bit rogue

but do you think there's an element of the people behind the show knowing that cast drama would you know raise the profile of the show and like

you know get more people interested like you know as the drama with the previous cast do you think there was an element of that and then kind of

stirring the pot a little bit to try and create that or did it just was it just I don't know you know I felt very much I think there wasn't enough intervention, I will say that.

So I don't think that it was like necessarily, you have to always keep your mind open to the fact that like there is very much a selling story game out in Hollywood. Like there were things that would happen. I mean, years down the line, but things that would happen where you're like, nobody would know this. Like literally nobody would know this. So somebody who you entrusted with any kind of little piece of. information has obviously, you know, gone directly to sell the story on purpose. So that does exist. But I think for me, I don't know that there was any kind of calculation happening or any of that happening from the people within the show necessarily. But I wish there had been more

intervention. Like there was zero fucks given about like the mental health of any of us and kind of making sure that we are okay. I mean, even physical health. Like we were working anywhere from like 14 to at times like 19 hour days and then doing photo shoots over the weekend, sometimes both days on the weekend. So literally like no time off, very minimal turnaround and then the like kind of psychological warfare of just, you know. And that's actually kind of wild when you think about it and that they're talking about you having a drug problem. Not that you did. but they're saying that you do or that you're on anorexic. There are two very serious illnesses that they, if they're reading, you can't ignore it.

There's no way you should ignore that. No. Because we just can't. You'd think they'd have a responsibility. Well, and at the time, I mean, now the way that we approach something like an eating disorder or like, hopefully, drug abuse and, you know, addiction are two very different things, right? Like now we approach it with like empathy and with just consideration and, really trying to, you know, support and provide tools and awareness.

Whereas back then, I'm aging myself, but in the era of tabloids, like, having a label like anorexia stamped on you, it wasn't like, oh, this is something that this person could seriously be going through and struggling with. It was like a bad label, you know? It's just like, she's a mess. Oh, yeah, exactly. It's like there was just negative connotation. There was no, like, heart or intention or concern or care for, for anything.

anybody in that situation. I'm thinking about the Olsen twins, how they were treated as well. Totally. With the, I can't remember which one, but they, it was like, yeah, she's, yeah, God, that's so crazy. It just wouldn't be that way now, or at least I hope. I don't think it would. It is, like, it is, I mean, wild to go away from nine or two and over a sec, but it's

what you talk about Al all the time is just like you realize, you did a reel about this yesterday. It's like, you can't, like, you're too big, you're too big, too big, and then, oh, too small. Yeah, like, and then the connotations of anorexia were, it's actually, I never thought about it until you said it there, like the, to pair it so easily with the, with you being off the rails, it's like, it's actually mad. It's like, it's, it's, it was like a broken woman. Yeah. Yeah. They want you like that. But it was a weird mix as well of like shame, but also glamour. Yeah. It was glamour. Yeah. But it's a bit like vanity. Like there's an element of people being like, oh, well, look at, look at, you know. Look of Asians. Yeah. God. It was really tough. I wonder if it, because not with the anorexia because you can't, like, force yourself to be anorexia, but with the other stuff, like the party girl stuff, like the cocaine and like the, you know, fractions with the cast, did you feel like it was a bit of a self-fulfilling thing? Like you would hear all of this and be like, well, you're all saying it anyway, so fuck it.

I am just going to be the party girl and I am just, you know. I think it did a little bit with my attitude towards everybody because I, and I think that's my nature. It's like if I feel like I'm being backed into a corner, then like I, it's like, well, fuck it. You know what I mean? Like, why do I, you know, I'm not a people pleaser, so I'm not going to go out of my way to like kiss everyone's hat. You know, I just, I don't have that in me. So it was like, okay, fine.

Like, you want a bitch? Like, all right, cool. Like, we're not friends then, you know. But instead of just, I don't know, kind of. lashing out or whatever it just made me want to close myself off so much yeah because what was that like coming so many questions now coming into work every day with the people that you're either genuinely not getting on with or are being told that you're not getting on with like what was that like is it must have just been toxic yeah really shit yeah it was shit like I hear stories about

people that like like have such a positive experience with their guy I was like what is that like I hated being at work I hated it I hated and you genuinely have to like act That's the thing. It's not like you come and just sit at desks and work on your computers. You have to interact with these people. Yeah, so bizarre. Was it mainly toxicity within the female cast? Yes.

The boys are all like, do, do, do, do. They had no idea. Isn't that so mad, though, because it was a very split cast. It wasn't like Mary Kate and Ashley. It wasn't like a lot of these shows, Zoe 101 or whatever, that were women cast. It was a very split cast. Like in the storylines were men, the boys and the girls. Yeah.

But it is crazy that the only hysterious around the females. There was like one scenario once, and I've talked about this before. So this is nothing new, but maybe new to your listeners. But there was one scenario once where one of the cast, one of the female cast members had pulled me aside and confronted me at work and was like, you know, we just like, me and the whole cast. talking and like everyone just and I fucking hate when people hide behind that blanket statement yeah say it with your own chest

yeah yeah but everybody has been talking about it we all feel like you know you just think that this is your show and the way you know blah blah that right because that was always the rhetoric it was same thing with Shannon Doherty it was always like oh yeah it was her show

and she was horrible with the rest of the cast I mean in terms of I mean like not to be but like in terms of how the show opened. It was following your family. It was, sure, but it was very much an ensemble and whatever.

And I, I don't know. I think there were certain, I think that probably, um, lent to that kind of issue that maybe some people had on the show, was that like, I would end up doing maybe twice as many photo shoots sometimes because I would

shoot with the mom, you know, Lori Lachlan or I would shoot. So you kind of have like double the press to do. So maybe that, I don't know. I don't know. But anyway, she confronted me, oh, you think it's your shit.

And I was like, I really don't. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, does everybody feel? Yes, everybody feels that way. And we just think that, you know, whatever, basically. And so I was obviously a mess feeling like, whoa, my entire cast, which literally is the only people that I know in this country right now. Like, these are the only people I spend any time with.

They all hate me because they think, like, I'm up my own. and I think it's my show and I'm making everybody feel a certain type of way. So I went like trailer door to trailer door to apologize, like individually because I didn't want to feel that way and have any kind of animosity like that and whatever. And one of the girls was like, oh, my gosh, like, whatever. Like, she's very like easygoing and whatever about everything. And I was like, okay. And then I went to the boys and they were like,

I don't know what you're talking about. They literally were just like, I don't know, but like, you're fine. Why are you crying? Come here. Like, it's all good and whatever. Like, they didn't have a clue. And then one of the other girls I much later found out because I brought this story after she was like, no, I remember she came to me wanting to like powwow and like come

to you as a group. And I was like, no. Like, I don't work like that, you know. So it had, I think, just been spun out into this whole thing. But like, what that moment did to me. the girl probably doesn't even remember that this happened, you know what I mean? But for me, it was like such a scarring experience. And like you said, like the boys were kind of none the wiser. And yeah, it was a, it was very high school. It is very high school, which is like a bit of an

irony. Yeah. But you're playing as a, yeah. I mean, you were, you guys weren't far off high school age, you know, I guess at that point. So it kind of, yeah. I always say like DeGrassey was kind of my like high school and nine or two when I was kind of college, you know, it was a very like, story kind of vibe but you know we all we all made it through and it's a it's a weird thing because it's been however many years now i mean yeah a long time and like even when it wrapped i was heartbroken and my cast was looking at me like why are you heartbroken like you know we've all been ready for this day for so long and i was like because even though i don't like any of you like i love you you know like they're just like this weird like family only us have ever

been through something that is just so crazy and so unique and like I will always care I will always care about what's going on with them and um whenever like the very rare moments where we do kind of like come back together it's just like it's a brotherhood sisterhood thing you know whether I like you or not like I'll always love those people yeah and you'll always have that you very unique shared experience yeah after 90210 when it wrapped And when you got, well, I was going to say get back to normal life, but I bet at that point you didn't really know what normal life was. Yeah. How difficult was it to shake Annie and like go in for other jobs and like try and get other stuff?

Like how was that? Um, I mean, it's something that I think like I'm still doing. We're having this conversation. I just came to, no, but you know what I mean? Like I come to do the podcast and you're like, I was a huge fan, you know? And we didn't be talking about it. I think it took me a long time to come to a place where, like, I enjoy that. I'm actually so proud that I got to be a part of something that had that kind of impact on people where, like, 15 years later, they're still like, I love that show, you know?

That's really cool. It's amazing. That's so amazing. But I get that that makes you, that can be really frustrating if you just want to, like, shake it. Yeah, for years, I think it was because you're young and you're like, I want to make my own name for myself and, you know, whatever. I mean, for two years after the show ended, I, like, I fired all my agents and managers. I was like, I'm never acting again. Like, I'm not putting myself through that hell.

Like, no way. I thought I was for sure done because of the behind the scenes and everything. And then I think I hit a wall. I actually really wanted to get into hosting and doing that sort of stuff because what else am I going to do? And then I think I hit a point where it was like, you know, I've worked, I worked for 10 years as an actor. racking up credits and working really hard to get to the place that I did. And, you know, what else am I really going to do? Am I going to go back to school? I actually did. I, like, started taking courses at UCLA. And I was like, you know, I got to eat and I got to fulfill that creative itch. And this is

the way that I know how. So I started to kind of dabble back in it a little bit with like TV movies and things like that. And it was fun. It sort of kind of kind of. got me opened up again to the idea of doing it. And then after a couple of years of doing that, I booked a TV series, a Canadian TV series where I got to play like a homicide detective with a drinking problem. And I was like, oh, like everything that I wanted, you know, to like not be the teen in the teen drama. Because I did that for a decade on two shows. And it only ended up running for one season. The show was not successful. I, loved it and I loved the work that I did on it. And then I had a baby. And so that's when I really

started to lean into content creation. So instead of trying to like get people to appreciate me for a different character, a different fictional character, my challenge became trying to get them to become invested in me as a human person that is very different from the beloved TV characters that they kind of wanted me to be. It's actually a bit nuts as well Thinking about it Like the infantilisation We've talked about this before

In like different areas But like that you can be a mother of two And like in your 30s And it's still like Oh yeah You're something you did as a teenager That's like But you're frozen in time

Like I'll get comments and it's like Wow she's aged And I'm like it's been 20 fucking years Like of course I have What do you mean? You know But you want to your frozen in time in people's minds is that

character that they loved and you know I get it I get it I totally feel the same way you know so I understand I was thinking about that the other day like how we hold on to these reference points don't we like totally thinking about Sophia Bush like I loved One Tree Hill

and I followed her ever since I got Instagram and she's done some amazing things like her I'll have put your like humanitarian yeah exactly in her advocacy like some amazing things and still I'm like like, Sophia Bush from Montreal, you know? And it's like, it's just weird how we hold on to.

Yeah. But I think it's nice that you've come around to see that as like a really nice thing and be like, it's so amazing that people, you know. But I can imagine it's a little bit annoying. It was. And honestly, it doesn't annoy me at all anymore. I think I really appreciate it. But I probably appreciate it now too because I'll get people who stop me in the street just as frequently now for like, I love your Instagram or your TikToks with your husband or so funny. I watch their YouTube channel every week.

So, like, the work that I've been putting in is finally getting recognized by people. So it's just, so I think it makes me appreciate, like, both sides more, you know? Yeah. Yeah, your videos are great and so entertaining. Do you love doing it? I do. Do you? Yeah, I love it.

I really do. I love it. It's fucking chaos with two kids and, you know, trying to do it all. But I absolutely love it. Would you ever put yourself back into Hotlight if the opportunity were there to do? do something as big as 9-0-2-0 again would you want to do that no no because of the like the tabloid I think just for right now for time yeah um you know I just did my first um acting job since having my kids last year I did a Christmas movie um for Hallmark and it was a three-week

gig and I was like shitting myself because I was like what's going to happen like my kids are they going to be okay you know whatever and um and it was the best and I felt like I really found a piece of myself again in that experience because I've been doing this since I was 13 and I just closed the book on it, you know, years ago. So it was like, oh, yeah. Like, I know. I was so scared going to shoot that first scene again being like, oh, my God, I haven't had to like stand on a mark and remember lines and like do all the things. Like I control everything with content creation. I can like mess it up as many times as I want. There's not a bunch of people looking at me. But I really kind of found my stride again really quickly. And I was like,

there she is. Like, cool, you know. And then I'm actually going off to Vancouver in a couple of days to go and do another one for them. So that's exciting, but it's three weeks. And so everybody is fine. It's three weeks and it's no big deal. 9-0-2-0. We filmed like nine to 10 months of the year. Like there's no way. I wouldn't know my kids, you know. So that works for some people. It would not work for me. It's not the dynamic that we have as a family. In terms of the, like, the media attention and that, do you feel like you could handle it better now if the same were happening again? Do you think we're in a different time where maybe it wouldn't happen the same way again? It wouldn't happen the same way. No. It wouldn't. You can't recreate that. We were at the

tail end of an era. And it was. It was the Olson era. It was the Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie era, the Lindsay Lohan era. And like, we were right at the end. of it. And as dark as it got, like, for me, just the, the inner tween in me that literally would watch like X-17 online videos and print, like, this is like early, early days of what tabloid fodder and online videos were. And I would watch Paris Hilton climb out of a car. And I would like, the sound of her clicking on her T-Mobile sidekick and her heels on the pavement with the flashing camera lights and she's trying to get down the street. Like, I loved it. I thought it was like, the most glamorous, amazing thing.

And I got to be a part of, like, young Hollywood when just kind of at the tail end of the insanity that it really once was. And it's different now because we can all advocate for ourselves. Like, there was no way of me getting my own narrative across. When you were reading it, was it mostly online or was it the magazine? I don't know what you've got in Hollywood.

Yeah, it was tablo-like, you guys have tabloat. I feel like the UK, like, still kind of leans into tabloat culture in a way that the US does it. Does it not? Not really. Really? Yeah. Not in the same way.

Taples here is still brutal. Yeah, it's not. I mean, you still have the Us Weeklys and stars and whatever, but I don't think, like, I think people know that it's just a bunch of random shit. Like, I don't think it's, you know. But you were having, like, these stories. Oh, yeah. But there was no Instagram.

There was no Twitter. There was, like, no social media. So you can't actually say, like, this is who I am. You can't give anybody an impression of who you actually are. So whatever they say is. kind of Bible as far as the general public's concerned. Yeah. So it's a different time now. I wouldn't, I wouldn't be afraid

and I'm older, like I'm, you know. So I would, I don't think I would be as much the victim of it. I don't think I would be as affected by it. Yeah. But I do feel for, I mean, everybody in this younger generation

now, while social media is an amazing thing, because it does give you control over your own narrative, it's still just like a beast on a scale that did not exist back then, you know, so yeah, it is it's more like I suppose

you had like this direct assault by the tabloids but it was it was directed at so few people and the damage that it had was big in terms of like the societal and cultural influence but it wasn't directly hurting it was that many people

like it was obviously brutal for those of you, the very few of you that experienced it but whereas social media is like a little bit for everybody like everybody gets that kind of level of like scrutiny and one misstep now is like catastrophic whereas in a lot of ways back then the missteps you know they weren't cool as a content creator now if somebody alluded to the fact that you were a heavy drug user yeah you'd be fucked as a content creator but as an actress it's like cool totally like like you'd hear stories all the time

of like certain actors and actors, you know, and they'd be like fucking crashing on set so fucked up and waking up the next day and they're like belligerent and there's reek of alcohol because they're still so hung over. But it was part of like Hollywood culture, you know? And it was just something, you weren't getting fired by a network because of something like that, you know? Like it just wasn't that way.

Yeah, whereas if they were doing it, if young women were doing that now, I can't think of the equivalent of 902 and I can't think of a show right now. even in America that exists. Riverdale, I felt like, was like the next kind of thing. Euphoria. If those things were like being said about like,

because I know, like, I hear about like Sydney Sweeney from Euphoria and like people look for bad things now and it's like, well, her family are all Republicans and it's like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And what do you expect?

Like she's from South of South America. But like that it's so interesting that we look for those little things now as a we want these women to be so perfect. Yeah. And like any hint of. scandal around that we look for it, whereas it was so expected that you'd have scandal around you. Yeah, well, I mean, like the cancel culture that we're in right now, you know, it just didn't

exist 10 to 15 years ago. I mean, people were like, how many last chances or whatever did certain actresses get to get their shit together and, you know, but people wanted to kind of keep them going, and the drama of it all kind of fed the machine, you know? Like, it kind of made everybody want to watch and tune into the next project so nobody was mad at it. It wasn't an argument because you weren't defending yourself because you couldn't whereas now it's an argument

if some if the press say you did this and then the person has to put up a statement yeah and it's a no one doesn't think if you're going to if you're going to be a bad look as a hire for a network or for whoever then they want to cut ties at all costs because they don't want to get dragged down

the rabbit hole with you. Whereas then I felt like they were almost feeding off of the mess, you know, and capitalizing on the mess. It's just like everything is kind of reverse. Weird because the show was quite shiny in terms of like the cast didn't really drink. No. Silver did drugs, didn't she? No, Adriana did drugs. But then it was like it was a big thing about drugs. It wasn't like, you were all just like having a little bit. No, we were all like super PG behind these too. Yeah. It was like there's no, you know, but they just, they want to make it, you know.

And even the drugs that Adriana did were like pills. Like, like, prescription pills. Like nothing like skins. No, exactly. She wasn't just like, yeah. Like aspirin. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I don't know. It was such a, like a clean addiction. Like, yeah, nothing like skins. No. Yeah, I remember thinking that. I was like, what I mean, it's such a, like, such a glamour. It's such a bad thing. It's such a like a glamorous addiction with a little like pill pots and stuff.

I was just like, I wouldn't even, I wouldn't even know. start in London. So what is next for you? What is in the pipeline? What are your plans? What have you got coming up? I don't know. I mean, like I said, I'm going to go and film that Christmas movie, which yeah. So funny to do in June. I know. Yeah, that's so weird, isn't it? Quite acting nuts. So cool, though. That'll be fun and just like a low-key, you know, experience for the family, which is always nice. And then kind of figuring out our next moves, and I'm sure lots of our own content around that. I think people right now are like, where do you live? Like, do you live in England? Are you Canadian? Do you still live in our like? Where are you? And we're like, I don't even know

the answer because we feel kind of very up in the air right now with where we are. So we're navigating that and sharing a lot of our experiences on our channels, our YouTube channel and Instagram and TikTok and all the rest. And now I'm starting to educate other content creators and my dream is to kind of empower other creatives, you know, the beautiful thing about social media is that it really has given creative people a lot more control over their success and their destiny. I think there's so many wildly talented people that 15 years ago just would have never had the means to get seen. Yeah. It's level the playing field. Completely, which is just so beautiful, you know. I think as an actor, you know, for years, it's like you're always waiting for the

person on the other side of the casting table to just be like, yes, we can see it, you know, one in a million, you're, you're it and you're kind of waiting for those emails or calls to come in from somebody else. But it doesn't really like the output doesn't match the input. You could like do all the work and still never book the job, you know. So with social media, I feel like you really get out of it, what you put into it. And that's an incredibly empowering experience as a creative. So I want to start helping others and educating them. So my husband and I are doing courses and programs and coaching for other aspiring content creators. Amazing, because he's a photographer. Yeah, he's a photographer. Yeah. Yeah. That's really cool. And your content is

amazing. Thank you. Thank you. So that sounds like a perfect next step. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. Well, we are going to leave all the links to your YouTube, your Instagram, on your TikTok, in the show notes. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming in and talking to us. It's been so fun.

So fun to talk to you. Thanks for having me. Thank you. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.