Should I Delete That? - Alex on Go Love Yourself

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Here’s an episode from our friends at the Go Love Yourself podcast that we think you’ll LOVE! Laura and Lauren had Alex on to chat about diet culture, loving your clothes, and the f***ed up beauty standards that come with weddings. They also chat about the time Alex had to get Dave to take campaign photos of her in the bath, and how Betty won’t stop humping her… TW: This episode contains references to eating disorders. If you’re struggling with an eating disorder and are in the UK, the Beat Eating Disorders charity has a hotline. The number is 0808 801 0677 or you can visit the website at beateatingdisorders.org.uk. Additionally, if you're experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call the Samaritans at 116 123, or visit crowdnetwork.co.uk/helplines for a list of people you can go to for help.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everyone. So today we've got something a bit different because we wanted to share another podcast that we think you'll love. It's called Go Love Yourself and in a few minutes an episode with our very own lovely Alex will play for you. It's hosted by Laura Adlington who was on Bake Off and who I bloody love and her best friend, Lauren. They're both so lovely and so funny and I had honestly like the best time doing this episode with them. The show is all about learning to love the skin you're in and just giving less fucks about what other people think. They've done episodes about dating in a bigger body, intuitive movement, self-pleasure, intimacy, wearing bikinis for the first time and so much more. And they've spoken to guests like our lovely Alex, Tally Ray, Carrie Hope Fletcher, Dr Joshua Woolrich and Stephanie Yerboa. So, if you love this episode as much as we do and want to check out some more of their episodes, just search for Go Love Yourself in your favourite podcast app. Right, we need to stop talking so they can listen to the episode. But we'll be back next Monday with another new episode. This is a crowd podcast. Before we start, we just want to pop a quick trigger warning here.

Today we're going to be touching on eating disorders. So if you are struggling with an eating disorder at the moment and you're in the UK, the Beat Eating Disorders Charity has a hotline. The number is 0808, 801, 0677. Or you can visit the website, beatetendisorders.org. We'll put all the info in the episode description. Welcome to Go Love Yourself, brought to you by SimpKV, fashion fit for everybody. Oh dear, I don't even know where I'm starting, actually. Hang on, sorry.

It's that TikTok, I've got three looks and that's it. A homeless man, a 12-year-old boy, and a looker. Right, Lauren, it's been a few weeks since the dreaded Valentine's, but it's also been a few weeks since we've got an update on your dating journey. in one line, tell me how it's going. You could even sing it if you want to, I don't mind. So I did plan a little something. Are we so serious?

No, absolutely not. So, I can't be that quick. I was like, should I be like, I had, wait, hold on. I had a date. It was okay. I don't know, it wasn't great to let's make it rhyme. Come on. Hold on, that's not where.

The rhyme is Laura Adlington. Thank you very much. So hold on. I had a date. It was okay. Until he said the words gay little latte. It's like, you lost me.

He said the words, oh, I do like a gay little latte. Oh my God, he did not. I thought you were making it out and I was like, Lauren, who are you? What are you saying? He said it twice. No, exactly. He said it twice.

Oh no. We don't do that. Anyway, so, so yes, I did go on a first date with a huge. human man. Woohoo! Silence does it all. And how did it go? Tell everyone.

So it was fine. So I spoke to you beforehand. Fine. That's really what we're aiming for, isn't it? It was fine. It was fine. So yeah, I spoke to you, I think, literally beforehand, during and after. And I was like, and we basically determined that the first, first date was not about

whoever that guy was, it was not about him. It was about me having my first date for like two years. And I got already and I wore. something that I felt comfortable in and all the stuff. And it was, it was fine. It wasn't as tall as he said, let me just tell you, not as tall as he said. It was, it was fine. It was fine. He is not the one. And I've sent him the general text that my friends and me have created at the weekend of a, it was really nice to meet you, but I didn't feel a spark. Good luck in all your endeavours, that kind of taste. Oh, please tell me, you did not used to have the endeavours.

I might change it to say that. Wow. So it was okay, but he said a couple of things in the date that just gave me instant it. And I've just got, like, that what I said, I've just got no time for people that think like that. It was that and it was something else,

which I won't say. Yeah, we don't really go in for that, do we? Immediate red flag. Well, well done you for going. I'm so proud of you. It's just a lot of courage to kind of put yourself out there and go back dating again. So well done.

Like you said, it wasn't really about him. It was about you. So, yeah, well done for getting back on the horse, and I look forward to hearing about the next one. Getting back on the horse. Yeah, me too, mate. But thank you for being my wingwoman, my fan girl. I think I really needed it because I was so nervous.

Oh, bless you. You sent me nice things. So I love you. So I absolutely adore today's guest. She's so lovely, and she even had me on her podcast, recently the light show are you cheating on us uh with another podcast how dare you it's all right because as it goes i love her as well so you i do um so on today's show we want to talk a lot about body confidence and also diet culture so who better to talk to you than influencer alex light

um you might have seen her post on instagram she posts some amazing content we are so excited to have her on so welcome Alex how are you doing today good i'm really good i'm so happy to be here We're so happy you're here. Yeah, we were so excited to have you. We love your Instagram. We love everything you're about. So, yeah, thank you for joining us. This is the second time seeing you in a month, isn't it?

I know, because I was on your podcast, the light show. We did a live podcast recording. It was so much fun, isn't it? So good. I had such a nice day. I enjoyed that. It was great. I was sad when it was over.

I was like, oh, I want to do that again. It was really good. We got gifts and everything. I know. I haven't got anything for you today. Not even a cake. Not even a cake. It's like a lollipop or something.

Come on. I'm like a good job because we've got some chewing gum from the tube on my shoe if you're not never mind moving on okay so to start off we have a favourite saying on this show

basically it's that we think that the way you look is the least interesting thing about you so we ask everyone what is the most interesting thing about you or one of the most interesting things about you so you just landed this on me about one minute before he started recording

and I'm like what is the most interesting thing about me. It's a really hard question. Because I guess it depends, like, who's trivial things. Like, I've got a dog who incessantly humps me and she's a girl. She's a girl dog. Go get it, I love her. She just wants to hunt me like 24-7. I'm sure you've seen it on Instagram. She's like the dog from Sex and City that just hums all the... Yes, except she's a girl and just no one really knows why. And it's no one else, just me. So that's fun. I've got four sisters. I suppose that's quite...

There's four sisters. Yeah, four younger sisters. That is so much energy. I know, I know. My WhatsApp never stops. And it's always like, oh, she's done this to me and she's done that thing.

Oh, well, you sort this out? And we can tell her she's being this now. I'm like, oh my God. I'm saying that, but like I fully get involved in the drama as well. And most of the time, it's me like, Jen, she's,

cancer's listening. I'm not asking. Is there a really good name for the WhatsApp sister chat? Or is it just sisters? It's brats. It's brats. Yeah.

Which I think, yeah. I love that. We have got one of me with Stacy. It's called Baron Cairns, which I quite like. I'm like, I love that. Love that. Your content has evolved so much over the years. And I think you started off, didn't you, in kind of like beauty and fashion.

And I know you obviously still love all of that. But talk to us about how that's evolved. Because I know that, you know, we love how passionate you are about all the kind of like anti-diet culture and stuff. So tell us a bit about that transition if you can. Definitely. So do you know what? I always try and find a way to,

make this more streamlined, this like story, but I feel like it's convoluted, and I think a lot of that is because, like, a lot of it is mixed up with eating disorders, and I was in a bit of a blur, and that time just feels like a big, like, black hole, but I will try and do my best. So, I was a journalist, fashion and beauty journalist, and I was going through an eating disorder at the same time. When I started to make real progress, what I was doing on Instagram started to feel really at odds with what I was learning about, about diet culture, about, you know, living in this world that tells us we need to be thin that actually isn't true. Like, we don't need to be any size. So what I was, because I was, I was uploading pictures on Instagram that

were, like, edited. I would, like, knit my waist in. And at some point, I started to realize, like, this is jarring with me now. This isn't right. And I'm not enjoying doing this. And And it's so not representative of what is going on behind the scenes, which is like the, you know, the depths of an eating disorder. So I just, I just like literally randomly made the decision like I'm just going to shift it and I'm just going to talk about this, which was weird because I hadn't told anyone. I was so secretive about, I mean, people knew around me, but I'd never openly discussed my eating disorder. What was it like posting that first posting? Terrifying, terrifying. It wants to be in.

But it was, like, the response was amazing. And it just makes me, has made me realize that there is so much power in letting go of a secret and in letting go of shame, like so much power in it because I was really ashamed. And I think there is a lot of stigma around eating disorders still. And I was just, yeah, I just felt a lot of shame around it. And like letting that secret go, although terrifying was one of the best things I did. And also like so many people, there are so many more people than you realize going through both eating disorders, but also disordered eating and body image struggles.

There's just so many people, but there's this taboo around it. We're not supposed to talk about it. How insane is that? Like still there's a taboo around it, but you're so right. If you're sharing the secret problem shared is a problem hard. And most people, especially listen to this podcast, we'll be going through the same thing. Every woman has hung up, I'm sure.

And that have been, that diet culture stuff has been ingrained in us. And, you know, we talk a lot about that kind of that 90s rhetoric of like nothing. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. And it's so dangerous. And, like, Bridget Jones, who was like, what was it, nine? Nine and a half stone. Living in zone, one. Yeah, with a great job.

And yet she was considered fat. So, slim. Having a lovely time of Colin Firth, can I just say. Yeah, I'm a bit of that, please. Yeah, right. The dream. Okay, by Hollywood standards, like, they're not slim, but in real, in the, you know, it's just crazy. Like, the Jessica Simpson thing from, you know, we all not got that image of her in those, like, high-wasted trousers.

And it's just like, I have a work. And you look at them now. Like, I can't. Yeah. She is so. slim and the issues that would have given her but the issues that would have given all of us because even when I was slimmer I still didn't look like that so I thought I had to look like that to be attractive but she was called fat on it's just and the vast majority of women will have been

bigger than her that she looked at that time the fast fast vast majority of women that it just goes to show like if you're if it's coming at you from all angles like look at this this is fat and fat is ugly that's what you end up internalizing but yeah at least like now we can look back without that lens of diet culture and realise that she was just like a slim woman like just performing on stage and yet there's this like global outrage how dare she you know not look like her daisy duke days yeah which was she's talked about how that was like disorderly and she potentially had something going on there so it just goes to show yeah she was celebrated and a lot of people find that when like they lose weight and it often it's through things like it

could be an eating disorder it could be through like heartache or you know they're grieving and people be like, you look amazing. It's like, like, I remember at the lowest point of my life going through the worst breakup ever, like anxiety levels through the roof. And everyone was like, you look great. And I remember my nan said to me, sorry Nan, but she, I remember she looked to me up and down and she went, all I'll say is about time.

I love my nan. Like, I love her, I adore her. But like, fuck off. And it just reinforces that whole like thin equals beautiful and like fat is ugly. And it's just bollocks. It is, it's just absolute bollocks, isn't it? I know. It's going back to Jessica Simpson. I love her. She wrote in her book, actually, that she said when she was in Daisy Dukes or whatever that film was called, she created, she said she created like a gold standard, Jessica, that everyone then held every other standard of her up to.

Oh, wow. And that's kind of like what you're saying when you lose weight and people are obsessed with how you look and congratulating you and praising you like, this is the best thing ever. in your head that's it solidified then that's your gold standard you know that's the gold standard you know you put on weight and people get quiet about how you look right and then you know that you're never at your you know your gold and I'm saying this with like huge air quotes because it's not true but like that's how it feels it's all the like the positive reinforcement and it's really yeah it's so toxic massively yeah that's scary isn't it yeah do you think it's like I mean I've certainly seen a shift people like you and I don't want to play guys to make up your ass but genuinely accounts like

yours have really helped people like so many people like myself included like accept them like it's helped me accept myself like full stop and I love your content genuinely you know this oh do you think it's changed do you think there's been a shift against diet culture like have you seen it improved do you think there's still like more to be done I think that it's a lot less overt and blatant nowadays I think it's much more subtle and maybe like like wrapped up in you know like wearing a different like costume you know in the in the guys of like well-being or like wellness um so i think it's definitely morphed but it's still very much there and there is still a lot to unpack but i do think that we're making steps albeit small

steps i think it's more like the internalised fat phobia i think is the bigger challenge like personally that's how i see it i don't know what you think yeah we've most drives And I think people, you know, curating their Instagram feeds with stuff like yours or anything that makes them feel positive is also helping that as well. So although the horrible stuff is still happening, you can choose whether to engage with that content or not.

And it's like identifying like genuinely for you, not like, oh, I should follow this person because they like them. You know, it's like, does this person actually make me feel good? They don't have to... Yeah. You know, a lot of girls say to me like, I'm just don't like your content.

Like, it doesn't make me feel good. And I'm like, that's fine. That's good that you know that. and you've worked that out and you're creating that boundary and just yeah you just got to work out what's what's right for you and how you can make your space both both online and offline like as positive as possible and how much life changed like since like your like ed recovery would you say genuinely i can't put it into words your face lit up when you said that yeah it was yeah it was like it was just absolute hell and it was a long time of like a disordered eating before

it sort of evolved into, well, devolved into an eating disorder as well. Like I dieted from the, I mean, we probably all have, like everyone's dieted from like such a young age, probably like the age of 12, and I just never came off a diet and then eventually it went into an eating disorder. I had never had a good relationship with food. I'd never been able to just eat without it either being some form of, like, restriction or binging or purging or, yeah, it was just like I had, it got to a point where I didn't have really didn't have a social life like I was barely functioning at work I was barely functioning

in my own life and it's just like the and don't get me wrong it did not happen overnight and I do want everyone to know that because I feel like there's too much of that narrative like oh it gets help and gets better but that's that wasn't the case like it did take a while but I can't even just tell you how like liberating I think is the word like just liberating like I feel like I've got like my life back you genuinely feel like like you seem like you're really at peace now like with your body like would you think that's you know fair to say yeah i really do i really do and like yeah i mean i'm i'm sure there always be like you know i'll always have some like the wedding i found quite triggering did you yeah because there was just a lot of chatter around it and how i should

look and you know my dress experience was wonderful like the second time round it was brilliant but you know and this is as a straight size person and they barely had anything for me and they certainly didn't have the dress that I wanted to try on and all of the samples are a sizeful tea which means they're actually a 10 because some twat at I don't know bridal headquarters some man decided to make bridal dresses two sizes smaller than they are like great idea on the best women's supposed to be the happiest of their life let's make and feel really shit about themselves why do they do that it just doesn't make sense it doesn't it does it so I had to try on like a like a kind of held a dress to me and then it didn't fit

and then I was like okay well I think I like it cool like here's all my money and they're not cheap. And then I tried it on and my mom took one look at me and she was like, you don't like it do you? I was like, fucking I ate it. Of course you didn't. How can you hold the dress to you? Do you know what I mean? Like that's just, it's crazy. Yeah. But there's a lot to be done. You mentioned that like, yeah, you might like open something bridal, didn't you? And I was like, oh my God. Oh, I should so do that. Plus size bright. I follow. There's a couple in America that I follow on TikTok. And it just makes me so happy because the plus size dresses and they're so beautiful and the girls are just looking like their best. Oh, it's so good. Does that not exist here at all?

I think there might be some, but not probably to the same extent. Get on it. Get on it. There's a gap in the market. You've got to fill it. Do it. A new year goal. Okay.

Oh my God. Obsessed. Cover you in, please. But yeah, with the wedding, going back to the wedding stuff, like, did you find like people were kind of assumed that you would lose weight for the wedding or like, yeah. Oh my God. If hashtag shredding for the wedding is still a thing, I just can't.

It is. It is. Like, I was doing some research for an article I was writing about it. And there are like millions of results on like how to, these weight for your wedding and like how to these weight in seven days and and even like I don't want to like give anyone ideas or trigger anyone but like it was even like how to um you know what bodybuilders do to make them dehydrated so they look super like ripped on the day there was even like advice on how to do that for your wedding day so that you're like you've got no water basically

in your body sounds healthy like I know you just feel like slowly like dying on your wedding day it's just I feel like sad that's so sad and dangerous and it just goes to show like people would rather look thin on their wedding day than be healthy and like feeling their best. You know, like it's, that's the goal is to look thin. But on your wedding day and I say I've been to, two of my friends got married and they are probably more plus size and straight size. And let me tell you, the smiles on their faces, despite the fact they didn't get to their inverted commas goal weight was just like literally I can't. It was so lovely. Did you think about that on your wedding day at all?

Like, oh, I wish I was a size smaller. Never once crossed my mind. Because I got a dress that I loved. Your dress was so good. Suited me and it like it just felt so good on me. It never once crossed my mind. To be honest, once I went to the second and got the second dress

like never crossed my mind again. It was just, it was more like, you know, when you've got a dress that you don't feel good in and then you start picking yourself apart of it and like, you know, why doesn't this look nice anyway?

So. Exactly. Again, this goes back to our point of like, you know, the happiness doesn't lie in a smaller size. Like, you know, being slimmer does not necessarily mean you're going to be happier

or more confident. I mean, get the dress that makes you feel amazing. Oh my God, hell yes. Go to great lengths to do that. But don't go to great lengths to like make your body fit into a random dress. Like just find the dress that looks like so good on you. And you should fit you. Right.

Same with your wedding dress. Yeah. It should put it on and be like, huh, you'd have to put it on and be like, this is the one. Like I hate that because that's so much pressure. But if you can put it on and be like, oh my God, I feel really good in this. Like, this is great. Anyway, sorry, this wasn't like a bridal episode, was it?

you are really into your fashion as well yeah I do love your fashion yeah how would you say your style is evolved like so we were talking about this the other week weren't we when you were on my podcast and I was saying that I actually only recently have started exploring whether my style like what I think I like is actually because I like it or whether it is because it made me look thin because from the earliest age like I was taught to we're all taught to you know something flattering where something flattering black is slimming like wear clothes that like flatter your shape

and just make you look thinner because flattering is synonymous with thinner, isn't it? Yeah, it is, yeah. So it kind of just dawned on me like, do I actually like these things? Or is it because they make me, I think they make me look slimmer?

So I feel like I'm still going through that kind of journey. And I think it is actually because I like, I love like oversaw, I'm quite like an androgynous look. Yeah. I'm either like super androgynous or like heels and a, dress there's no like in between

we've actually got three looks and that's it yeah literally homeless man I told you're a boy and a looker yeah I don't want to say that but that's literally that's literally my vibe yeah

yeah we were chatting with our sponsors actually as simply being we were chatting with them about language and how important it is and even they were saying about how they're really kind of steering away and veering away from that term flattering

so a lot of comments I get on my Instagram if I post something will be like oh that's really flattering on you right and obviously it's a compliment right like they mean it as a compliment yeah obviously it's very well intended i just think it's it's just a kind of word that we probably want to throw out really totally because yes they mean it as a compliment but it's also backhanded isn't it because it's like if like a cape moss style woman was wearing a dress would you be like that's really flattering on you no no and the purpose of that flattering means that

they're saying that that dress makes you look smaller yeah yeah yeah i think i've i found that a lot recently so i've started just wearing dresses that i like yeah this is a cool dress thank you very much it's from simply being is it? I was going to ask, is it? It's all that. Yeah. But I've noticed my confidence and Laura probably attested this. I've noticed my confidence has transformed

since I started wearing what I won. I am a size 18 to 20 but if I wear a black dress with a like a purposely nicely put stripe that's not going to make me look like a size 12. So like I'm not going to hide in clothes. I'm fat here I am but I'm just going to be fat in a fabulous dress now. So having

more confidence in what you wear. of you want. Totally. It's so true that as well though, isn't it? It's like you're not going to, you know, it's like we're wearing makeup. Like you're not going to look like a different person. It's just like these things are fun. It's facing fun, isn't it?

Yeah, like an expression, like self-expression and stuff that makes you feel good. Oh my God, I remember that quote. Do you remember the quote that I butchered on stage and it took me like five minutes. I went over it for five minutes and I was like, actually sorry, I don't know what it is. Have you remembered it?

Yeah, go on it too. It just came to me now. I'm nicer when I like my outfit. Oh, yeah, that's so good. I love that. It's so much, it's so much nicer when I like. You wear things better and you, yeah, totally. Yeah.

Love that. That is so damn true. And you take me a month. And you've got your own clothing collection as well. Yes. So it's like London, isn't it? Yeah, so like London came out last year and it was a lot of work a lot, hotter than I ever imagined.

And it was, we released swimwear at a time when no one was going away. So I was like, well, Literally, like, one of the worst things we could have done. I was like, I don't want to buy a bikini? Please. For your house, maybe, I don't know. For the bath? Literally.

That's how I had to take the photos to, like, shoot the campaign images like the shower. I can't imagine Dave, but they're just being like, wait. Yeah, literally like, oh. Should we try the street instead? I was like, I can't sound outside in a bikini. So, it was a bit of a nightmare. we got there and it did well and the idea behind it was like there is do you know what it was mostly because of the whole like flattering thing and basically like anyone who's over a certain

size should be wearing typical like plus size things like yeah with the pleated skirt and then and then and then it's always you know it's two separate collections it's like it's like normal size and then like plus size and I was like no I want I want you know the same style the same collection like Everything is exactly the same. If you're six up to 30, those are the sizes we do. I love that. Can I tell you how refreshing that is? There is no really, like, very few other brands doing that.

So we were going to ask you, do you think the high street is, like, inclusive of sizes? We know the answer to that. It's not. Yeah, I know. But you're a brand new company, you're a small business who's opened up in the last, like, year, who is doing inclusive sizes from six to 30. You've done it. And they're sustainable as well.

And sustainable. And you're really on, like, eco stuff. Like, that's amazing. What do the high street need to do? do that. Do you know what pisses me off is people saying oh we're you know we're a small brand so we can't do like above a size 12 and I'm like no I know you can because we did it and it's like really not that hard and it's not that expensive like just I think it's quite appalling actually that people like lean on that excuse because it's not an excuse but I mean I went on to self

portrait I was looking for like a day before wedding outfit dress before night before the wedding and I was like oh that dress is really nice and I went to look on sizes and it went up to a 12 went up to a 12 I was like oh I've made it oh I was like oh it must be a mistake hang on must be sold out hold on yeah and I went to look on the other ones and no they don't go past the size 12 absolutely genuinely in 2020 who's not going past the size 12 isn't it appalling and also what obviously winds me up is when you get ex-ells being a 14 or something like that yeah that's not going to make you feel that's a whole thing that's not going to make you feel good if an ex-sale's meant to be 14.

It's like, you know, like, I only went in the other day, to be honest with you for like, not for content, but just because I like, I've heard really, obviously bad things. I haven't even been in this as I was probably like 14, 15. And it was awful. And I was just like, I left and I was like, I refused to make them make me feel bad, but by myself. But like, why is my money not good enough? Like, seriously, like, and why am I, was my body not good enough? Like, if you can dress skinny people, why can't you just dress fat people?

Like, we all need and deserve nice clothes and to feel good. and it like it really fucks me off to be honest of you that I can't stop on the high street anymore and the average dress size in the UK for women I think is still a 16 so what is the high street doing and small businesses that they're stopping like so it can be done you've showed it can be done

so what do the high street need to do it's because the fashion industry is so deeply fatphobic and you know we've got all these campaigns and stuff and trying to show like body diversity but yeah there's still like some steps to be taken for sure. You know Trinney? Trinney, Woodles. She did a hall that someone sent me,

a Zara hall and she bought everything in a medium and she couldn't even fit the trousers on. I was like, she's tiny. She's tiny. So she can't fit into a medium of Zara. Like, what the hell? It's an indication of where the fashion industry is at. But that sounds really negative.

And I feel like there are, because there are more brands, aren't there like more plus size brands that making, like, proper clothes, not just like, oh, cover yourself up in there. Yeah, yeah. It's like, no more cold shoulders. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah.

No, what were you saying? Cold shoulder and a butterfly print. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then like, a more and an rifle tower and a bow and all of that. Oh, my God. I don't want to wear that. I'm not 12.

Fuck off. No. My five-year-old niece doesn't want to wear that. She's more children than that. Yeah. No, I think there's definitely more, you know, more to be done. But you're right. Like, you know, don't want to be like.

But we're seeing a shift, though. and that's what's really nice and that's what's my confidence grows that I can, you know, I can't really go shopping on the high street now. I do have to do it online pretty much but I can buy nice clothes

that suit me, that fit me and all of that and that's really good. Yeah, so nice but like it's sad that it... Sad that it has happened that way. Yeah, that it should feel nice. Like it shouldn't feel anything. It should just be like normal, you know? Everyone should just be able to go and like walk into a store

and buy something that fits them. But like you said, like why is your money not good enough? Yeah, and I tell me, it's not even like, I don't even mind paying a bit extra for fabric I shouldn't probably have to really but I don't even mind that like just want to look nice

like that just make me just don't give me your separate fat people section like I don't want that I know which is literally like two rails yeah and it's gross in top shop

they did that didn't they they had like a plus section oh my gosh that was like that's like the smoking section in the airport cordoned off like oh

behind the cats with the bats with the bats with the back wings Yeah. Gross. One of the quotes that I love that you always talk about is like, all bodies are good bodies.

And I think that's really powerful as well. Like, would you say that's like, I've been a mantra of yours, like something that you kind of... I just remember seeing that years ago and being like, oh yeah. Of course they are. It's just crazy to think that we were ever made to think otherwise. Yeah. And even like we, like, sorry, keep going back to your podcast.

But we were on your podcast. We talked about the word fat. you were talking about you know like fat bodies and stuff like that and like I must admit it like it shocked me a little bit like yeah and I was a bit like because for me that word has always been like um used as an insult and like thrown around and it's always the first thing like if you ever get in a confrontation of a stranger happened the other day in a car park some bitch tried to get in my space right and I was like very politely like I'm really sorry I don't know if you realise but we were trying to get in that first thing she called me was a fat

see no shoes so whatever it just happens right mad madness thank you so much Karen and I took down your number plate and I didn't really but yeah so for me it's quite a triggering word but I really love although it did shock me I'll just put it out

I'm just offended by it I love the fact that you're just like fat as an adjective like do you know what I mean I think we've been talking about this a lot so you don't find it offensive I don't find it offensive because I think it's an adjective

I call myself fat because I think it's factually true but I didn't grow up fat I didn't grow up bigger so I've never I've never been called fat as an insult even now. Really? Ever? I don't think so. I'm happy.

It's amazing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. But, you know, whether that's because, you know, I've just done that in my 30s and I'm very much like, get out my face. But I've never had it as an insult, so that's why I'm fine with it. But I think get into that point where we can reclaim that word because it's not a bad thing. Being fat isn't bad. Yeah.

So, I mean, this is something that I've grappled with because as a person who's not fat, I'm like, do I have the right to call people fat? but I think that if we're going to if we're truly going to get to a place where we realize that fat is not bad and that fat is just a neutral thing just like thin is you know and tall is and short is

then we just need to get comfortable with the word but it comes down to consent though like I would never say to someone's face like you are fat you know I think it depends on people and like you said that's been used as a slur for so long so it's still upsetting for a lot of people but I think if we can just get used to the adjective it just, you know, and then it's,

then it won't be able to be used as an insult anymore because it'll just be like, yeah, I'm not, oh, you, you, you tall bitch, like, you know. Oh, you really got me. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's, if it just becomes commonplace and we all say it, like, you know, fat bodies, thin bodies, like, I just think then we'll just get to a place where like,

thin isn't good and fat isn't bad, like they're both just, like body types, yeah. Yeah. No, like, it's genuinely been something that I've really been thinking about a lot, like, trying to kind of, like, unlearn that being, like, a nasty word and an insult and, like, just using it as a descriptor. Like, I will use it about myself, but if someone calls me it, I find it offensive. But I think that's just historic.

But I love the kind of idea of reclaiming it. So thank you. Oh, good. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I do think about that sometimes. And I get a lot of messages about that.

Because I would just say on stories, like fat bodies, thin bodies, and people are like, you know, your yeah yeah people just take offense to it and I do get it like I really do get it but I think for like for actual progression like we just need to be able to use the word yeah no it makes it oh let's come up with another word like if you know yeah yeah yeah can describe fat bodies or like people living in a bigger body but yeah some people are like oh people living with obesity and it's like I can't I bobbered my oh my god I don't mean like I'm not doing disrespectful like if that's what you want to be referred to that. I think it's an individual preference.

But I just love the taking ownership of that word. And like, yeah, I think that it's really powerful. Yeah, and I think like, did you ever watch that thing on, oh God, I can't remember it on Channel 4 where it was like 10 fat people lived in a house together. Yes. Did you watch it? Yeah.

And there was one woman who was really grappling with, you know, she, she preferred to be called like obese and preferred to like use the term. obesity. And I think it's just like it's down to you, isn't it? Like what you're comfortable with and what you're not. And then people were really trying hard to sort of get her away from that and being a little bit aggressive with it. And I was like, you have to remember that this is a lifetime of, you know, living as a person who has, you know, received insults and, you know, discrimination. Discrimination. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So it's up to them at the end of the day you know if someone says to me don't call me fat like I will never call you fat like it's

you know it's on you yeah yeah interestingly that that I think if it's the same woman I think you're talking about her name is Sarah LeBrock and she's um she fights a lot for about ending the stigma around obesity she was on a program I don't know if you remember it was on sky I think like 10 years ago and it was like called the fight of my life or something like that and they lost they had to lose like half their body weight in a year and so she lost like right and which I think most of them did it was like I don't know like 10 15 of them and I was actually having a phone call with her the other day and she said that she had put on all the weight she put it on back on very quickly because obviously she would and she said that every single person that did that program has put had put it back on

and in a very short space of time and but yeah just it's just an interesting observation I think she's like some some people are fat and some people are not and it's not it's not as black and white as well like and we could eat the same thing and do the same amount of exercise and we probably would still like we'd all look different and it's just you know we just need to accept I think that people are all different like it's just different you know yeah I mean I've got four sisters and four of us are a similar size and then the other one's like super skinny she's just tiny and that's just the way she is and that's within the same family you know with the same parents yeah exactly my sister with similar sizes but she's six foot tall

legs up to our eyeballs I'm five six massive boobs makes no sense and we're completely different we probably eat the same and we're completely different and it goes back to what we always say is like the way you look is the least interesting thing about you there's so much more going on about you and all your friends and all your family and everyone you work with than the way they look so let's just not we've got to move away from this we've got to move away from the diet culture thing that we all grew up with just move on and also like not to get too like too into it but as well, it feeds the patriarchy. Yes.

Fuck the patriarchy! So yeah, I have to say it, thank you. Thanks, thanks for saying it for me. But it does, it keeps us like, it keeps us focused on what we look like and it stops us from spending that time and energy on other, like, way more important. Conquering the world. Conquering the world.

Because we're too obsessed with, like, looking in the mirror. That's not awful. It's just like the way we've been conditioned. but it's, yeah, it's a tool of the patriarchy, like diet culture, just to keep us, keep us quiet, keep us obedient, keep us, like, focused on eating little calories. Yeah, be the little woman at home. I know, it makes you angry, doesn't it?

It does, it really does. And, like, the more you learn about diet culture as well. Like, I've found, yeah, the more angry it makes me. So do you think, so we've also talked a lot about diet culture and what it's done to all of us, like, all three of us have been impacted by that. So, I mean, this is a really, like, hard question, but how can we fight it? I think you are fighting, you were the one of the first people

that I found on Instagram posting the kind of content that you do and that has changed the way that I, you know, part of what you do is change the way that I think about everything. But how can we continue to fight? Diet culture, do you reckon? So I think, like my view on all of this, and this is why I create the content that I do and a lot of people say to me,

oh, but why are you sharing that? You're just perpetuating that message. You know, if I call out something negative. But I feel like nothing's going to get resolved if these things continue to go unquestioned and unchallenged, which they did for like all of the 90s, didn't they? Like we thought Jessica Simpson was fat. Yeah, they did, yeah.

You know, so much of it just like my parents' generation, they don't question anything, and they're shocked by what were questioning. And I think that if it just continues to operate in the shadows, then we're not going to, it's not going to get resolved. We're not going to be able to dismantle anything. So we've got to talk about it. And a lot of the stuff as well that I bring up is stuff that we have seen

when we were growing up and internalised and that's gone on to create our sense of self or shape how we see our bodies and how we see other people's bodies as well so we've got to like fix all of that the more we talk about diet culture the more we call it's everywhere

like the more we call it out and become aware of it then the more able we are to see it and dismiss it rather than take it on and internalize any messages from it and also we're able to heal from our past you know, that those past messages that we've internalised. And then compassion, I always come back to compassion and self-compassion. I swear, like, I go on about it so much. I swear it's like the answer to most of the world's problems.

It's like there isn't enough compassion. And the way we talk to ourselves is sometimes so shocking. And we do it. Again, it goes unquestioned. It goes unchallenged. And I do think a good way to challenge this is to say, like, hang on, would I say this to like my sister or my mom or my friend like would I say that and if I wouldn't then I probably shouldn't be saying it to myself because why do you deserve it if they don't deserve it why do you why do

why do you deserve it yeah yeah I love that easy said than done but like it's so yeah so like really good easier said than done yeah and yeah advice to live by absolutely love that oh and that's important as well like you said easy said than done I feel like a lot of these you see like little infographics on Instagram like how to feel better about your body five days here you go We have been taught, especially women to hate our bodies from the moment we become aware of the fact that they have an aesthetic. Like we've been made to feel like there's something wrong with them and that we need to change them.

So this isn't going to happen overnight. But like every little bit of progress that you can do or every little bit of work that you can make on this, well eventually it will all stack up to a place where, you know, you might not be like, hey, I love my body, like walk around naked, but you don't really need to be. Like, if you can just realise then that, you know, your body is the least interesting thing about you. Yeah. And there's just a lot more to life. Yeah. I love that. That's such a good. Thank you so much, Alex. Like, that has just been an absolute dream. Thank you so much for coming on the pod.

Oh, thanks. It's just be my favourite podcast. I've loved it. So good. Can you get that other quote, please? Thank you. Testimonial. It's that time in the podcast when we bring some love, even more laughter and some positive. for my listeners with your on the plus side stories. And today we're going to do something slightly cringy for us because our producer has made us look through some of your amazing reviews on Apple Podcasts. Oh my God.

They've literally had us smiling from ear to ear. I've teared up at a couple, but they've also had us in stitches as well because I think people just get us, Laura. They just get us. So yes, Hans. Please go and give us a five-star review. Give us a good review

because it really helps boost our confidence. It does, yeah, thank you. One I wanted to share was from Danny. So, hi, Danny, we love you already. And she said, I need to make an admission, brace yourselves. I'm 35 and I've never listened to a podcast before this, which we've actually found with quite a few people. And Go Love Yourself is the first one they've listened to.

And she continued on with, Laura, I followed your journey for some time, saw you posting about the pod and thought I'd give it a go, and you have not disappointed me. Love, love, love, can we be BFFs? Yes, Danny. Yes, Danny, we can. Oh, that's so lovely.

I love that. How nice is that? We had this other review from Jonesy. She says, I'm not sure I can change the I am not worthy mindset after 50 years, but I am damn sure going to try. Oh my gosh. Go, Jonesy. Go, Jonesy. Oh, my God, that's amazing.

And again, I will say, I've heard from a lot of women who have said that they're in their sort of 40s and 50, specifically 50s, who are like, Like, I wished that this podcast was available when I was your rage and stuff. I think that those messages for me are the ones that mean the most because it means that hopefully we're doing something good. And the whole point is that people resonated with it. And we're talking about things that people are thinking in their heads and not talking about it. Go Jonesy. You are worthy.

Absolutely. And finally, let's end on this comment. So relatable. This is my favourite. So relatable, not posh birds in straight bodies talking about. love. She just gets us. She's totally in a nutshell.

That's literally you. Got the G-Town bird and the dark of a bird chatting about torbles and all sorts and yeah, no, that means a lot actually. I think, yeah, there's quite a lot of people called in Paltrow talking about

talking about all this kind of self-love stuff who are, I think, very privileged bodies and yeah so it's nice that we are relatable so thank you i really did make as well i'm just dying at the not posh birds like that's going to be i think i should be on your wikipedia page just laura adlington not a poshbert not what not a posh bird i love that um that's so so good okay in fact actually can one of our lovely listeners please go and edit laura's wikipedia page and just put on not a posh bird that would make my day I don't even have a Wikipedia page

I don't And also can I just say that I am still coming up As Rebecca Adlington's sister Literally you Google me And it says Rebecca Adlington's sister And that's all I get asked now in press interviews It's like, how's your sister doing? No, do they do you think?

I mean, what a fact Lauren, this will make you die I heard a comment the other day It was from a troll but it made me laugh so much they thought that I was from Becca Adlington and it was the bikini picture that I pasted and they said what a shame and to think she was swimming just a few years ago

what a shame she just really let herself go what the hell honestly I'm telling you I died so yeah how are you in Olympic medals Rebecca All right. Oh my God, that's so funny. No. Oh, honestly, it cracked me up so much. That's so stupid. Of all people to be compared to, Rebecca Adamton is an absolute queen. We love her, but also that's hilarious.

Oh, I know. It's just the fact that I can imagine them actually saying it out loud as well, oh, poor girl to finish. She was swimming the Olympics just a few years ago. You know that person has gone and told everyone they know. And it'd be like, oh, God, did you see? Have you seen the slate of it, honestly? Stop it, you know. Oh, that is so my favourite thing ever. Yeah, that's made my day. I don't even remember what we were talking about before that,

because that is absolutely flawed me. Okay, right, someone's got to make you a Wikipedia page because you can't be known as someone's sister. You're my most famous friend. I need you to have a Wikipedia page so I can prove to people. That you're my famous friend. There you go, listeners. That's one for you. And I'm going to check in next week and see if someone started it already.

Thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next week. Love you, bye! That was Go Love Yourself, brought to you by Simply Being. Thank you.