Should I Delete That? - Em’s back! And we’ve added one more to our gang…

Episode Date: March 6, 2023

This week, the girls welcome the newest member of the podcast crew... Em's baby! Em shares her birth story and what the first month of being a mum has really been like for her. Welcome back Em and welcome to the gang, Arlo Rose! Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello Hello I'm a working mother Oh my God She's back I'm back Oh, I've got a baby I got a baby

She has a full on full baby She's right here Baby sized baby A baby size baby In her arms On my chest Oh your chest Just been a little queen

She's just had a little feed now she's having a little sleep it's honestly it's a tough tough life oh my god i wish i was a baby i often think that or a dog no no no no no think about it think about it what do you want to shake yourself on the and you know what like arlo's day-to-day nice enough but we did just go to my mom's friend amanda's house where she shot herself twice arlo not Amanda and um and we changed her nappy on the kitchen table and everyone goes oh that's a big poo now imagine imagine around your mum's friend's house

and you do a big poo and everyone comes and looks and they go oh that's a big poo but the reason that we don't like to shit ourselves is because it's socially unacceptable as adults but when you're a baby and also because you're uncomfortable but you get changed straight away

and it's totally acceptable and it's celebrated I can't believe it I can't believe I care I can't believe I find it adorable when she falls I'm like oh it's quite sweet

it's adorable like this is one of my favourite things with my hands on her ass and she farts and it's like what's wrong with me? Fibrates. Who am I? Like all the horrible things that people did to their babies that I was like it's me. Yeah. Oh my god soon you will you will buy one of those little straw things where you

suck their bogies in. Okay right we'll just go there right. So I had a manicure the day before I went into hospital it was mostly luck but it ended up being quite good planning which is unlike me to be so organised but good priorities anyway my nails were really long which as it turns out

it's incredibly useful for picking your baby's nose with and it's the most satisfying thing in the world everyone's like they're not practical for newborn life I'm like tell that to my daughter's bogeys play gluck gluck pluck pluck

it's great we do have one of those sucky things but the tubes they're not reusable every time you have to get a new one and I just think oh my fingernails are reusable

wash your hands Oh so it goes through me the sucky thing I agree I'm like what if her brains come out I was more thinking like what if something in the contraption fails and it goes straight into your mouth yeah fair enough no my concerns start and end with the brains to be honest how are you fine like really good more than fine

I feel like we need a full on catch up for everyone because I know I've been it's I've just been out yeah yeah a whole month which is mad Yeah. That is mad. Yeah. It's, I can't believe it's been a month.

I know. And I can't believe I took so long. I'm really pleased I did though. Yeah, yeah. Before she was born, we talked about like, oh, I'll only be gone for like a couple of weeks.

You know, I'll be straight back and whatever. And I actually, I'm really proud of myself. And I'm really grateful to you, obviously. But I'm really proud of myself that I took, that I listened to my instincts.

And it was like, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. And then this. week. I was like, oh, okay, I'm ready now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm really happy that I did that. I'm happy that you did that as well. I was worried that you were going to rush back and, you know, hate it. And hate it. And also you can't get this time back. No, that's what you kept saying to me, which I'm really, really grateful to you for. And it's been a total blur.

Like, yeah. Just like, what the fuck? Like, what's happened? You're like, now doing this I'm like, oh my God. But it's, I'm so happy. It's so good. Like, I could cry with how good it is. I am full of hormones, but I could cry with how good it is. That's really nice to hear. Yeah. That is so nice to hear. Yeah. I mean obviously when I put that on Instagram and I said I'm really happy. Everyone's like, yeah, you got bit of shit, didn't you? Very triggering for people that aren't happy. I was like, oh my God, what's happened to the internet? But I said to you after us, didn't I? I was like, no matter what, and especially around being a mum, like, there's a reason that like the mum side of Instagram and TikTok and whatever is very, it's a hard space to be in.

And I do think that whatever you say, whatever you would have said, it would have been triggering to someone. Yeah. And you would have got shit for whatever you said. It was a bit disappointing, I think, to get shit with my. That was kind of my first thing back. But I'm nearly deleted it. And then I was like, you know what?

No, I'm glad you didn't. I'm really proud. I'm really, and I had so much good from people who messages from people who, because I don't even mind saying it. I was, and I think you know this, I was so scared before she was born. Because people do put the fear of fucking death and yeah, okay, some people tell you the good stuff,

but they tell you it quietly. And they tell you it like, it's this big secret. And they're like, oh, like, no, I had a really good birth actually. But people feel embarrassed to say that because they don't want to, it's not fair on the people who have horrible birth. And some people do have horrible birth. My birth didn't go how I wanted it to at all.

And I would still say on balance that it was really positive. But I, and I feel really, lucky because I know that not everybody gets that but I am really proud that I can celebrate the fact that I'm doing okay because I'm no one is more surprised than me it's so good I the night before we went to the hook because I was induced um I was induced and my labour was induced and the night before they called me the day before it's so weird they didn't ring me the day before and they were like can you be at the hospital like 7 a.m I was like yeah okay um and the night before I just sat at home and I cried because I was so scared about everything.

I said, oh my God, my whole world's going to change. And my friend, Sophie, explained it to me really well. She said, all you know when you're pregnant with the first child is what you're giving up. You know your life. You know how your dynamics work, how your friendships work, how your job works. And all you know with this baby is that it's unknown, like this massive thing's about to happen. And you know it's going to be good, but it's an insurmountable thing. It's like you can't conceive of anything.

you don't know how good and you just have to trust people when they say that it's good but lots of people don't say that it's good lots of people say that it's shit so I just by the end of it I was just like oh my God like what's going to happen

and it was just I had a dream at 2 a.m. that I was being eaten by a dog and I was like oh my god this is a disaster I work on the 5am on the morning of my induction I was like I had an dream that I'd been induced by a dog the curtains looked

oh it was just it was a really bad night And then I was in, well, sort of, I was having contractions for 29 hours in the end. And then it ended up being an emergency C-section. But it was such a chill. I feel fraudulent taking the term emergency because it couldn't have been. I walked myself to the theatre. Couldn't have been more chill.

But, and then the second she was on my chest, I was like, oh. Like, that's what they were, like, that's the good bit. And everything's been right in my world since then. Yeah. And I just wish I'd. the harder bits of sort of paled in comparison to that. Well, the harder bits for joy. It's a fucking joy.

I'm so happy. And I'm so surprised how happy I am. That's probably half the happiness. It's just surprised. I was even like, so during your pregnancy, we did do a lot of recording. And I actually at the end felt scared for you as well. Because even just what I heard people say to you.

Yeah. And I was only with you for like, you know. In passing, friends would say it. People don't realize It was like a lot of sympathy for you Yeah Yeah Like you've got no fucking idea

What you're in for Yeah it's gonna be You're gonna hate your husband I have never loved Alex Moore There no one prepared me For seeing him as a dad Yeah This is what he was born to do

Like everything Our whole priorities Our whole relationships changed In a way that feels Exactly right And also I've got a kid That's like half him Which is awesome

like it's just amazing but yeah but you're right people just they like they just say they just drop these little and I think people say it because in their current time they're having a bad day or whatever I don't know fuck knows what they do it but yeah I also think it's like I don't know it's not it's not seen as like cool anymore to discuss like the good side of parenting or I guess to be happy it's a bit cat kids isn't it to be happy like we don't do that anymore we like sad girl like sad girl era. Yeah. But it does seem a real shame that only the bad side is mentioned.

Yeah. And it is really important that we talk about the bad bits because it has felt very, I've felt very supported in that people are very quick to say, you know, it's okay if you're not okay, it's okay if you're struggling. And that I completely, and maybe that's why I feel so good because I know that I've got that level of support around me and that people are kind of expecting me not to be okay because it can be so tough. And it is really important that we create a safe space.

And the midwives, when, when they discharge you from hospital, you have, like, health visitor, life's a learning curve for me right now, but you have health visitors and then you go to the clinic and stuff. And when everybody talks to you, it's all like, how's your mental health? Like, how are you coping? Yeah. And I'm so appreciative of that. And it's so important that people do ask because the baby blues are a real thing.

Right. I had that on, everyone said, day three or four. Yeah. Didn't come for me on day three or four. I was high as a fucking kite. And I was like, look, nailed that. No, believe for me. And then day eight, I was like, oh, no.

What? And I just cried all day. And the overwhelm was so real. And I just looked at her. I was like, I'm going to fail you. I'm going to be the worst. And it was like, oh, my God. And then I got over it, obviously.

But, yeah, so they're a real thing. And obviously post-natal depression is a real thing. And it's like, it is so important that there's space for it. So. But I just feel like it's okay. Like, we should be able to hear about both. Yeah. Yeah.

sides of it. 100%. to hit like if you've had a positive experience that's amazing yeah and like great to hear it and if someone has had a terrible experience like that shit yeah so sorry for them and i really hope that it gets better yeah and you're allowed to express it as well yeah but also in amongst all the goodness there have been so many tears like this she shat on my face today like genuinely i opened her nappy and she started shitting and the last thing i saw before i closed my eyes was this little yellow fleck of shit I don't know where it ended up.

Might have been on my eyeball, eyelid, brows, hair. Who knows? I didn't even look for it that hard. I was like, okay, that's just part of me now. So it's like, gorgeous. Yeah, and like, I'm tired. You know, we've had some nights that were just like, like awful.

And we've had some days, like Monday where she just cried. She was just so uncomfortable all day. And no one prepares you for that fucking heartache of just your kid crying. You're like, oh, my God, why are you crying? But then all the good shit is just like so great. So it's just, I guess it's just, it's so. hard to on Instagram or in any conversation to really do the massiveness justice of right right because it's just yeah of a complete shift in your life like of course it's not

yeah and you're awake for so many more hours in the day so even like it's been the same amount of time it hasn't it's been more time that is so true that's a really good point yeah yeah we do just lose like eight hours of our life every night yeah you slackers like sleeping full night. So we're like, you should see what I'm doing at two in the morning. You should see, I'm just saying my mum and I ordered three kilograms of jelly beans. I'm struggling to like visualise three kilograms.

They're in their next door. They arrived. It's the weight of the baby when she was born. Like literally pound for pound. That is a lot. We have the same amount of jelly beans as she has baby. That's a lot of jelly beans. I know. I've ordered, I've ordered.

I've actually gutted I don't like jelly beans. I spend 80 pounds at fish bunkers. I don't even eat fish. And I didn't even eat fish. And I didn't want to live room. What? Well, I have to eat fish. now because my iron's been so low my

everything's just I need nutritional support for my life because my the cesarean everything anyway breastfeeding whatever and I found my mum was coming over for dinner and I was like fish I want good fish if I'm going to eat fish I want it to be like properly caught you know I don't want any of this farmed bollocks

yeah so then I was like well where does one find that in London Google fishmongers in London I said oh my god it's on delivero it's in Clapham amazing there's a fishmonger's on delivero yes and they stopped Manx Kippers not that I'd want to eat them but when my mum's from the Isle of Man. She loves the kippers.

And I was like, oh my God, Mom's coming over. I'll get her some kibbos. They're expensive. And then I was like, oh my God, Alex had loved some salmon. Like, wouldn't he just love some salmon? So then I'm like, but this all happens at like two in the morning. And I wake up and I'm like, oh. Like I ordered like eight packs of like shortbread.

I even like shortbread. It's so bad. I've bought so much stuff. So you're living on fish, jelly beans and shortbread. Yeah. Sounds great. I'm thriving. Sounds lovely.

Yeah. You both said I looked well. You do. You look really good. Well, there you go. Thank you so much. Yeah, the shopping is intense. Well, we thought maybe you could read out a snippet of your purchases on Amazon.

It's more delivery that I'd be concerned about. Okay. I'm a little vulnerable right now. And I tell you that the first thing on there are fucking suppositories. Because Caesarians, my God. It's the fucking piles, guys. You think you're only going to get them with a natural birth. Yeah, why have you got them from cesare?

Why do you get them from cesarean? Okay, do you really? How much do you want to know about my poo and my bum haul? All of it. Right. So. We've come this far. We've come this far.

As many of you know, before I had the baby, I was constipated while I was struggling. Did you have piles before the baby? I got a couple at the end of my pregnancy. Okay. Because I was on, I see you, Daisy. Because I was on Dacetron, which is the mega sickness medication. And then I was on the humorous, ferro, something, for my iron, for my low iron. Yes.

That all blocks the shit out. out of you quite literally. So I was already struggling in the poop department. Plus, I couldn't keep done any five, but because of my hypermises. Right. So I was, I had bad poof. I told you, I pooed like a lamb the whole way through my pregnancy. And then when you have a cesarean, they fill you with painkillers with anaesthetic, obviously

to like epidural, whatever that stuff is. And then they put on codeine. And when I came round, I had trapped gas, stunning, which was in my shoulder, which courses it's really for straight. I had it after my jaw operation as well, side effect with anaesthetic. And it gets stabbing pain in my shoulder.

So then I was on morphine for that, which I felt like I was so annoyed at myself. I was like, grow up him, pull yourself together. You'll regret this when you can't poo. Sure enough, day five, still have a lot of shit. I was like, should they're taking that fucking morphine? Should have powered through. So you basically, you go fight,

you get constipated after that. So I basically did five days without poo. And when I tell you, that was harder than childbirth. like and I know I had a cesarean but still it was like birthing the baby that I couldn't birth naturally So did you get piles from that

From that poo? From that poo. Sarah was here If she was very supportive Oh my gosh She was my birthday She came over She made us an amazing nut roast Full of like all the poo poo pushing particles basically

Like it was like kidney beans, pulses Everything And like so yeah properly kale Everything yeah um and it worked it did yeah but it hurt oh yeah that was sad

how did you get rid of piles well you've got these little things that you put up your bum yeah what they called suppose it's that what they called yeah yeah you'd put those up okay little little rocket sort of butt rockets Alex keeps calling them

lovely and then you've got this sort of cream you've got cream as well so yeah I bought that on Amazon I bought the cream I've tried a different brand because anisol was not doing it for me I'm trying germaloid. Okay, lovely, there you go. You all miss me.

Oh, wait, there's so much to... Okay, a few more purchases because there's so much to catch up on. No, carry on, you go, because my purchases, I mean, they're not going anywhere, so... Well, I wanted to ask, I think everyone would be intrigued to know what happened with the sickness.

Oh, my God. So you were induced. I was induced. Yeah. Sickness and contractions are such a bad combination. It was so annoying. Grim. I didn't bargain for that.

You don't bargain for the sickness still being there in quotations labor because I wasn't in full labour because my water's never broke because, yeah, just to explain that my mum had a problem. I knew, I suspected I'd end up with a cesarium

because every single medical professional I spoke to during my labour was like, this is going to end up a cesarean, I was like, manifest. I really want a natural bird. Trust the universe. Yeah, exactly. Slay.

My family's going to play. Hi, you wake it up. And yeah, I really wanted, Basically, if you have one cesarian, it's much harder to have a natural birth, or vaginal birth a second time, particularly if it's due to, you know, your own reasoning. So I wanted to try, and this felt like my one go.

And as it transpires, I have the same problem that my mom and some other, my auntie and my great-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a that means that the baby can't get through. And it's actually meant in my family some really sad outcomes for babies in generations gone by, but we're really lucky now with modern medicine and with knowing about it.

So I was monitored the whole way through my pregnancy and they thought she was going to be a huge baby. So they induced me at 37 and a half weeks. So basically three weeks early. And then you weren't that big, way, babe? She was a surprise, she was so small. But I was induced and it just wasn't happening. So I had the pestery, which is where they basically, it's kind of intense.

They put a gel on your cervix. Doctor maintains close eye contact wall that's happening. like just look somewhere else literally look anywhere because my whole family are in this well no they're not my like my mom's watching you

stare me in the eyes as like your like shoulder deep inside my cervix yeah and he's like he can like touch the baby's head I was like this is obscene that's weird

it's so weird like the doctor the day before I was induced when they checked to see how my cervix was to see if it was amenable like she was like I can literally like touch

oh the bit I was like get but get hands hands out get off that's so weird yeah so weird but are they inside the placenta yeah but yeah but like

you know touch it through no they're not inside are they no they're inside the womb yeah I was fully fact checking and I was like yeah yeah yeah they're fully wrapped up inside they're in the sack they're in amniotic

so she couldn't actually they couldn't actually touch it wasn't like pulling her hair but it was more just like oh they can feel it through the sack yeah through the sack she was head down she was engaged she was she was showing

again they were yeah I mean no doctor No one was optimistic that it would work, the induction. Yeah. I just really felt, and I spoke to one consultant who was so lovely. I told you this before, but she said, you know, a few weeks back, but she said if it was really important to me as a woman that I really wanted to try this, she completely supported me and understood it.

And I value this so much. Yeah. And it was important to me in the end. I'm so glad you did it. Me too. Because I knew it was something that you really wanted to give it a go. And I just think for you mentally, it was good for you to have. have that time and to just try.

Yeah. And I wasn't disappointed because I know it's not that I failed. It's that it wouldn't have happened. Yeah. When I had the cesarean, the doctor was like, this wouldn't have happened. Like that, what she wouldn't have come out. Yeah. And I was like, okay, then we all, everybody made the right decision.

Yeah, that was really good. And they gave me a really good chance, which I'm so grateful for. So I had 20, yeah, 24 hours. He was like, this is not happening. Yeah. We're going to wrap this up. That was gutting because I've been having contractions, not cutting because I was disappointed.

I got over that. but because I was having contractions every three minutes for 24 hours from midnight on the Tuesday night, Wednesday or whatever, they wouldn't Wednesday morning, they wouldn't let me eat. I was hungry and I was still throwing up or still gagging still with my stupid little sick bowl and I'm so hungry but the contractions don't stop when they say, they said at 8am it's going to be a cesarian.

You hungry? Pending. I have a question. Yeah. So they literally didn't know if you could give birth vaginal until it was crunch time I think they can do I think if I'd have wanted to investigate

the situation beforehand I could have had an MRI but it's not safe in pregnancy and I think you can have x-rays and scans and stuff but you kind of don't know until you know my cousin was able to they were fine so I wanted to try because I just didn't know I'm also

you know like I'm half my mum but I'm also yeah you are hungry okay but you're also I'm also half my dad's I just they didn't know the consultant I spoke to said the right actually everybody

I spoke to everybody who did a scan every like anyone who I asked the opinion of was like oh I I don't fancy your chances but I did

I did not listen to the naysayers I did not listen to these professionals so what do you guys know my pelvis anyway yeah so they didn't know until it's crunch time and she just wasn't budging she just couldn't

for whatever reason she just wasn't going down stubble little thing I think she just wanted to wait I was really proud of her to February the 1st share a birthday with my midwife

how lovely is that so it's my midwife's birthday oh that's really nice yeah so nice Harry Stiles that's good yeah that's great we like him

we love yeah it was the first day of spring in Ireland first of Feb love that so Bridget's Day in Ireland which is a national day

of fertility what are you go yeah so she held on out and she got amethyst as her birth I was waiting for that because let's be honest that was the most important thing

they were going to induce me on the Tuesday day. I was like, that's January. I was like, she's not going to want a garnet. Like, she just doesn't. What is garnet? Exactly. I can't remember. It's a shit man's Ruby and Ruby's my birthstone.

It's just like a dark, it's like a dark reddy brown. Amethyst is gorgeous. And I already have an amphitheist ring, so. It was meant to be. It was meant to be. She was, she just smashed that. But yeah, the labor, the contractions don't stop. See, I thought they would have done, but don't know why.

Because obviously, of course they don't. You can't just stop them when they start. But I, in my head I was like, Paul. But in my head, when your mum said that, because your mum was very kindly updating us in the WhatsApp group, and she said that they called time on the induction, and you were going in for Caesarean. So I was like, oh, at least you won't be in pain now. But like, of course, she's still in pain. I don't know what I thought. Like, I don't know. I just, I just like presume that it's like, there you go. Go time.

You still have the, so I'm not she's just whitting a boom out. still have the contraction every three minutes even when you're in that's the most and I was like I'm fucking starving. Mom comes in with Alex and she's like oh I like dad need sustenance and like bringing him in like a big quasson and stuff and I was like oh for fuck shit

dad need sustenance does he now um yeah it's a nice coffee or so I was like you guys enjoy your breakfast and then rude when they when they do emergency cesareans they you categorize like one's like this is hell of bad two's like

this isn't great and then three is just like me like you can just like the induction didn't work basically so we're just walking so you go ahead of the electives but you are behind the emergencies and there were so many twins born day of fertility what do you know so we just kept dealing bumped and I was still being sick

but I had nothing to be sick because I hadn't eaten this since midnight so that was the only time I was like oh this is a bit shit I was getting a bit cranky then little bit little bit yeah that's not fun and then we went down in like one and they're literally just like panic stations like okay we're off we're out of here

you don't no what was the C-section like oh my god like so fine was it I mean so weird so I was really tired because obviously again the contractions don't stop while you sleep like they don't stop for the night time you don't just get like a night's sleep and then like we'll pick up again tomorrow I find that weird because I don't know

some of our bodily function stuff stops when we sleep doesn't it I don't think contractions care for day or night rude rude I'm really inconvenient. Inconsiderate. Inconsiderate. So, lol. Yeah, no, Cicetarian, it was fine.

Like, we waddled down to the room. Yeah. You just walk yourself. Like, you know, they... That's so funny. Yeah, they go ready. Like, I had a drip in and stuff because you couldn't have any water. And you're all a bit plugged in because they have to monitor the baby and stuff.

But otherwise, I don't even remember it. Alex filmed the whole thing, which is amazing. Yeah, that's amazing. Did he? Yeah, I got him a dad cam, like one of those things for Christmas, like a... video camera, which I really recommend. Like on top of his head, like a GoPro. Oh.

Like he's going to ski. He could just put it on his helmet. Wait, what do you mean then? Like a, like a, I think it's in here. Uh, I don't know where it is. Like an old school VCR camera. Oh, sorry. Right.

Like real dad mode. You know, like 90s dad on holiday. Love blades. Yeah, so I've got in one of those. So you filmed the whole thing. Wow. Which is so, I've showed it to you. Have you watched it?

Yeah, I actually got really emotional watching it. Um, so I need to, I'll watch it again, but I just, I did get really emotional. But do you see, like, the gory stuff? It's really oddly not that gory. Like, the scar is so low-d-down. So they basically, they take you in. And then, I mean, this won't be the case for everyone, obviously,

because if you're having more of an emergency... Like, my mum had an emergency caesarian with me, and it was a really traumatic, horrible grade one, like, stress, stress, stress. And she had a horrible scar because of it, and it was very gory emergency. So I did not have that. Oh, my God.

So I can't speak for everybody. but for me it was just I waddled in they sit you on a thing everyone's very chatty like just people have their normal lives around you and I'm like because don't you know that like I'm about to be in my arm blah blah blah on it

I know like literally on the video you could just hear the anisitist talking to the midwife about how they both know the same guy who go swimming in the Chiswick Lido that's so weird I'll just know that man's name forever because it's like on my

perfect video like this guy I know where he goes swimming with his kids that's so weird um but yeah you just go in and they inject they did a i'm guessing it's the epidural in your back yeah and can't when i want to stress that was a baby not me was that thought or avert it was a i think she just brims herself with milk sometimes and then it's sort of like spills back out it's kind of i get it we're all hungry yeah exactly greedy gals um yeah then they inject you and then i was still feeling

really sick and then this i responded badly to the any whatever it is and that made me more sick anaesthetics that made me more sick so then they were because I'd already taken my undansetron and then they had to this was pretty bad to be fair just sickness wise because then they had to put

through the IV thing more on dantsetron more cyclone they basically maxed me out on every sickness pill and I'm still there with my bedpan so all these beautiful shots of everybody having their beautiful cesareas and I'm there with like a bedpan on my shoulder just still like dry heaving

and then they put I'll be like, sheet thing. They do shave your fanny. Do they? Yeah. Which wasn't great. I would have booked him for a wax, but she was three weeks early,

so, yeah, they can't go where you've got, like, I had a bit of regrowth in between. Because the cuts quite low. Yeah, the scar is on the bikini line. Do they shave your whole funny? No, no, no. Obviously. Do you a full wax and spread them, please.

Here's a baby in Hollywood. Yeah, no, they don't do the whole thing. They just, and yeah, I mean, you have to consent. So you're lying there. And then the midwife goes, okay, so I'm just going to shave you now. I'm like, oh, God. With a razor, obviously. With a room full of people.

That's one piece of advice, and I'm not going to give advice to anybody, because what the fuck do I know? But the one thing I did say to your sister who had a baby just after me was shave your own fucking funny, because the night before, if you know you're having a cesare and do it with a nice razor. because they just I bet it wasn't Venus

it was not Venus no it was not a five blade gliding glide experience yeah it was not that I went I got home and I looked

to my Venus razor in the shower and I was like it should have been you it should have been you because that was really itchy and that was something you don't need on the cesarian scar

yeah no shower gel no like post shave bar no no no no no no no no no and she says it in a room full of people that you don't know You know, they're like, I'm just going to shave you now.

I'm like, I didn't know that. Brilliant. No, nor did I. That was a nice surprise. I wish I'm pleased I didn't know about that before because I would have been, I'd have been anxious. Yeah. I'd have been awkward. Are you gone?

Full? Never. Never. I get it. Are you just chill there for a minute. No? She's like, what the, where's going to go, bitch? She's so hungry.

I'm obsessed. Go on in. Thank you. Okay. So that was the, so then. So then they shave you. Yeah. Then they slice you.

I can't feel the fucking thing. Honestly, it's so chilled. We're just chatting. We're literally just chatting. Can you hear it? Like the slice? No, God, not really. I was feeling very sick.

I was a bit out of it that way. And then the Anastrian, Anastitist. Yeah. He just chats to you. So nice. Like, and Alex is right behind me. Yeah. And it was so chilled.

You don't quite have time for music in an emergency one. No one would offer me that. But I think a lot of people do get to, you know, you can put a playlist on it. and stuff. We didn't get that. But it was so chilled. And then they just start slicing.

And then they just, my mom explained it to me before because obviously she had Cesarians and she said it just feels like someone's doing the washing up inside you. I've heard that. That's kind of what it feels like. Which goes through me quite a bit.

It was a bit weird when he went in and then he was like, she keeps evading me because obviously he puts his hand in at the bottom and she was there, but then she like slipped back up again. So then he has to like, the midwife's like pushing,

which is just a really weird feeling. But honestly, I was so out of it sickness-wise and I think because of the amount of the sickness stuff they put me on I just really didn't give a shit and by then you're just like, give me my baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get this done. Yeah, let's do it.

And then they just pull her out. Yeah. And they show you her and you, I mean, a lot of people have different choices. Again, I wasn't given, maybe it's because I didn't do any, because I had no expectations. You know, I was really optimistic

that I'd get a natural birth and I didn't do any planning for a cesarian because I just didn't want one. Yeah. So I didn't say, like, I want skin to skin. I didn't say I want any of this. I just, said I want her safely here.

Yeah. So do whatever you think. And then they asked me if she wanted a vitamin K, if I wanted her to have a vitamin K injection. And that was it. That was the only time I was asked anything. So I said yes to that. So they take her out, show you her,

which is the most extraordinary moment of life. I was like, oh, what the fuck? And then they put her on the little thing, weigh her, check. She's okay. And they do like a full sort of check thing. And then straight away, they just wrap her up and put her on. Actually, no, they don't weigh her first.

They just literally look at her, wrap her up, put her on you, on mum, straight away. Yeah, yeah. Should I remember? Yeah, I was there. Yeah, put her on my chest and that was just the most surreal thing, like, ever. It was amazing. I've got a photo of it, like, of that moment, and it's just, like, so cool. And I could just see she got Alex's lips.

I was just like, oh, my God, my baby. And then they take her away again to weigh her and whatever. But I then, poor Alex. my heart rate, my blood pressure, which is already stupid low, went just crazy low. My heart rate just went crazy low. And I was talking to Alex and my eyes rolled into the back of my head and my alarm went and then obviously that's stressful because you can hear your own alarm going. Yeah, yeah.

I was like, oh God. Well, actually, I didn't care. I was out. I was passing out. But, um, poor Alex. I was like, just go be with the baby. Um, and then I was fine. Bounce back.

You man gave me some drugs. Went my heart rate go the other way. And I was like, oh, I came back around. I was like, oh my God. Too much. too much. Can we go somewhere in the middle, please? And it was absolutely fine. I can't stress it enough. Like it's absolutely fine. And then they just whack her back on your chest again. And the special thing as well about, I don't know, I obviously never had a vaginal birth. But when she opened

her eyes for the first time, she was, Alex was holding her. So the first person that she saw was Alex, which I just love. Like that's so special. Because as a mom, you're really lucky. You get all this natural bonding. Yeah. And the midwives, obviously, they put her. on you because that's the point and you have to bond and I'm breastfeeding so that's you know whatever yeah but the dad doesn't get that kind of like enforced thing I guess yeah yeah yeah so I thought it's really special that that happened that's really nice gorgeous oh yeah and then they that yeah and then they stitch you back up which actually takes way longer the baby comes out in the first 10 minutes but then you've got like 40 minutes of stitching and they're going to

get the placenta out oh yeah that's when the sickness stops and it is literally like that honestly honestly the excess baggage that she was carrying around ruined my life. But the second that was gone. Wait, the placenta? The placenta? Yeah, it wasn't her coming out. I was still really sick when she came out. It was when the placenta came out. Why? Do you know why? That's where all the hormones are. That is mad. I know. I just thought it was the hormones of being pregnant. But I guess that is the placenta. So yeah, the second the placenta was out. And then when they sent you

back to the room, so they stitch you back up, put the baby on your chest, will you back. and they the surgeon was like you can't eat until 9pm so she was born at 2.30 now I hadn't eaten from midnight then before and he's like you might be sick so you can't be and you sort of sip water I have not had I had IV fluids but I hadn't drunk any water

or eaten and the hospitals are so warm and I was like oh my god no he was like you might be sick I said no you don't understand for the first time in nine months I don't feel sick let me eat and then he was like he was a bit like no and then I was like look don't you eat please I'm so hungry and I had a massive

whole food's pretzel. Oh. Like, it was obscenely good. Was it? Oh my God. The journey that I've been on the last month, I have not felt, I think ultimately this is why I'm enjoying the newborn phase so much.

Yeah. It's because I am myself again. I am not sick all the time. That must have been the biggest relief after nine months of feeling and being sick. I have my energy back. I have my happiness back. Like, I just, it's, and you don't realize how debility.

the constant sicknesses. Yeah, and I mean, I can't, I literally can't imagine. Like, I saw like snippets of it and it was, it looked horrendous. Also, as well, your body must have been like so short of nutrients. It must feel so much better now. I can eat vegetables. Yeah. I couldn't eat vegetables for nine months.

And I love veg. But like, you know, my air friar really has been out of commission because I just haven't been able to handle the flavor like of anything. Yeah. Even cooked, like even cooked, like, cooked is a flavor, as it turns out, and I just couldn't handle it. Like, I, you don't, it's like, you know when you have a headache and you can't remember what your life's like before you had a headache. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that.

And then I was like, oh my God, I don't have a headache anymore. What is the hormone that makes you sick? What is it? Do they know? Probably progesterine. That's the one that does everything else. Oh, God, that's so, yeah. Yeah, it's mad.

So, and, yeah, I mean, I think that is why I feel so good now because it's like, yeah. I just feel like myself again. Yeah, and you did not have a good pregnancy No, and it's only now I'm through it that I really feel okay saying that Because I felt really bad saying it at the time But I did have a shit pregnancy I found it really amazing, but hard, like And now I'm like, oh my God, like, when now, what do I want to eat?

Fucking everything. Oh my God, it must be the nicest thing. Everything last night I had a pizza that I didn't throw up for the first time because I still tried to eat during the pregnancy Like I'd still order a pizza, I'd just throw it up, even with the pills But last night I just ate it, just kept it down You were so sick. I was so sick every day

at least once for nine months even with the medication again baby not me no comment I don't want to embarrass her like that these are her new friends this is her first time out

in public we're not going to it was gas of some sort yeah it was her chair she was pushing her chair back I am so happy for you I know yeah

that you're not sick but I mean also obviously I'm not sick because I like just I just felt for you. It was horrendous. Yeah, like I can just eat like a normal person again. And we like batch recorded but we like the frequency increased the more pregnant you got and like when you were almost nine months pregnant we were doing like full days. Yeah. Of recording and you were like

struggling to like move around. You're feeling sick. Yeah. It was it was. I can't imagine it was very fun. It was fine. It was fine because I have a job that makes it so far like think about it. I just I kept perspective on it the whole time and it's like how the fuck do nurses do this how the fuck do the midwives do this or teachers how do they like if you've got a job that you have to be on your feet for teachers I really feel for teachers that have high premises and I kept that perspective the whole way through I was like I'm fucking importer at the end of the day like it's not that deep like I can I feel sick but I can still work but yeah if you've got to be front facing like on your feet all day I just I just yeah I couldn't feel sorry for myself while people

do you think they have to get signed off like because you just can't yeah so there's a lot like I've been in a lot of groups and like watching a lot there's like a pregnancy sickness support group on Instagram for anyone that needs it and then I use the peanut app as well

and I'm just looking at how like a lot of other people are coping and a lot of people and I spoke to a lot of people in my DMs with hypomesis and a lot of people had to be signed off from work and actually looking back like I couldn't work in July like

and actually looking at my content for the last months i barely did fucking anything compared to what i used to do you know like yeah um i mean i just guess you just can't like go at that capacity you just can't so yeah a lot of people are signed off like yeah um from which is real that's also mentally tough like yeah it's it's it's huge and there's no real reason for it as far as i know it's just a random it just sounds awful like truly awful 10 out of 10 would not recommend to a friend no one star on triple vizer but she gets five oh god yeah two little queen like she's just so great she's so cute honestly i saw her two weeks ago it was two weeks wasn't it

and she looks like a different baby she's so much bigger she's bolt well she was little when she was born she was six pound eight when she was born what's like the average what's like a normal weight i mean she was three weeks earlier so she would have been drunky or she'd have gone to full term yeah but i think maybe like seven seven and a half it's kind of normal okay so she's she was little yeah she was little she's six pound eight and then now we weighed her last night and she's eight pound three so we're on the arm big girl yeah she's still like little on the um percentiles on the percentiles but she was you know she's premature baby so that's normal yeah um so yeah i mean like she's she's bulking up she she fits in her newborn clothes now does she yeah

that was really sad when they're just like they're drowning her you had to go at like emergency shop because all her hats were massive and like all her stuff was because I just thought I was having this massive chunky baby because that's what all the scans showed. So I just like we don't need newborn stuff, but everything zero to three months. She's dying. Can't fit in the zero to three months is way too big for her. So yeah, she's so small. Thank God she got Alex's head. Like my head is so, I can't wear hats. I tell everybody that Katia has to, my sister has to go to specialist hat shops and during labor I just told everyone. Like all the midwives. And they were like, oh, like, how has the induction going?

And I was like, oh, well, I'm just hoping she gets her dad's head. Because my sister has to go to specialist. I literally don't everyone that did a scan every midwife that I met. Honestly, Katty got dragged through the mud on this podcast. If she will insist on not listening to it, I will keep. Yeah, just keep going. Yeah, exactly. She doesn't even know she's being shot.

Like, she's just walking on by. That's true, actually. Ignorance is bliss. 100%. What the eyes can't see, the heart doesn't mourn. No, wait. wait what i have never heard that but i like it it's a lovely expression but it doesn't really work for this well the eyes can't see the heart doesn't long for my mom says it quite a lot wow my mom says it

normally to one dog when she's feeding it when the other dogs aren't there so like if she's giving like echo a treat she and i'm like oh poor bisto yeah yeah yeah she's like on what the eyes don't see the heart doesn't love that i'm gonna start using that yeah i told you i'm this queen of expressions Love that, yeah. Of course, yeah, she was really lucky. She was my birthing, her birthing body. Yeah. My douler.

Not a traditional doler. Because of COVID, the rules are a bit, like you're allowed one person. And you're allowed two, two people, well, I mean, different hospitals are the same. But anyway, we had to basically say that she was my doula. And I was like, she would be the least doulery doler ever. She's way too cynical. A dolery dealer. Yeah.

She was like sitting on the birthing ball, just like bouncing herself around. the room. I was like, not now. Get to get off. She was amazing. It was really fun. I can see her being very fun. Like adding a lot of like injecting a lot of fun into the I also read an entire book during my labour.

What? No, you're just showing off. That one up there. And it's like Kate Atkinson, that blue one there, the big one on the bottom. Oh, please. And I literally read the final page and you couldn't have timed it then the midwife came in and it was like, Anne would take you down surgery. I was like, perfect. Thank you. I'm ready now. I know. And everyone said I wouldn't be able to read since she got here. I've read two books. Have you?

Yeah. Good, great. Yeah, she's lying here now. I have a spare hand. I've still got eyes. They didn't go anywhere. All these people are being like, oh, you won't read a book. I'm like, what's my eyes going to fall out?

Yeah, exactly. I'm absolutely, I still know how to do it. Delighted to report. Can still read. Three books. Well, that one was in Labor. And that was, the consultant kept coming. I know he kept coming in.

He said, how's the book going? He'd ask how the book was going before the Labor. It's like, nearly there. Yeah, it was the Kate Atkinson's Shades of Gayety. always remember it now as the book of Reddy River. Shrines of Goodyear. Damn it. I cannot story. Not so you. Just fake news. I obviously skim read it including the title. Yeah, no, it was a good book. Yeah, no, nice. Nice way to pass the time. So it's been now, so she's a month old now. Born on the first of Ebb. Of course, yeah. So she's a month, oh my God,

she's a month and a day, no, month and two days old now. Sorry, I think I just scoop my boob back in. I'm sorry, hit you in the face. As I've gone worse. As a mum, there's some stuff I'm not quite like smashing yet. Well, what have you found the hardest, do you think? What has been the hardest and the easiest based on your expectations and what you were imagining? I think mentally, the tough thing about having a cesarean is that you can't be as hands on as you'd want to be. So I can imagine it's even more difficult if you've got like a toddler or growing up kids already.

But not being it, you can't, you can't lift anything heavier than the baby. But also like if they're in the next to me, you know, you've got, I've got like a crib next to our bed that she sleeps in. And at the beginning, you can't pick her up out of the crib and people have to pass her to you. I genuinely, my heart, every day I've just been like, I don't know how single mothers, if you had to have a cesarian and you want on your own, I just, I just, I, it's more, it's more than all that I mean, it's like full astonishment that people are able to do that. It's just, like, I could not have done that on my own. From two weeks, okay, but from that beginning bit, and I know people do. And I just, like, my, I just, I'm fully amazed at them. I just think they're amazing.

But that was really tough. I found that, like, I found that emotion. I felt like a shit mom. I was just, like, I'm not doing enough. Like, I didn't change her nappy until we came home on there. And Alex loved doing it. And I think it's a really big bonding thing for him. Yeah.

He wants to do as much as he can. so it wasn't like it wasn't a bad thing but I didn't change a nappy she was born on the Wednesday really until the Monday on my own like I did

I was like there and I helped and stuff but like I didn't do it my first one until the Monday and I was like oh my God like I'm sure I don't know how to do it and like that I found really tough

um I'm sorry but yeah so like I've got we've got and the first one I was like fucking hell this is going to be hard if I've got to do it like this

every time it's like a pit it's like a Formula one pit stop now It's not in and out. It is so efficient. Hi. Hi. Are you joining us?

Do you want to say something? Co-host. Sit them to your fans. When we announced the pregnancy, I'll say that you were the podcast mascot, so she could give us a little some and something. You're okay?

You're okay? She's saying hi. You're hungry again? You're kidding. Is she? Mate. Like, she eats. No wonder if I had such a shit pregnancy.

She ravages. or ravishes. I can't remember which one it was when we googled it last time. Yeah. She is greedy. It's iconic. I know. It's inspiring actually and I just think we should all learn from her. Yeah, I love that. I'm so, I just think it's amazing. Yeah. She eats so much. Eat to your heart's content.

Yeah, the nappy thing was hard. But the breastfeeding was tough at the beginning. And no one tells you that that's tough. Yeah. You just assume it's going to be like this magical thing. Natural. Like, yeah, just like puts her on your chest and you just like feed the baby. And and they thrive on your nutrients.

and whatever. And it's fucking agony the first time when your milk comes in, I was like, oh my. I remember I talking to your sister about this as well. And there was a lot I didn't tell her until I had to. I was like, when I gave her the pre-warning,

I was like, it's so much better than I thought. And then on day three, she was like, my boobs. I was like, oh yeah, well, I just want to mention that. But yeah, when your boobs come in, when your milk comes in, that's sort of seen discomfort. Is it? But I've been really lucky in that, feeling's gone really well.

Okay. But I have a problem, which I'm sure is shared by many women, which is massive boobs and a tiny baby. So she was really struggling to breathe at the beginning. Like, I was literally suffocating her. So I found a lactation consultant really quickly. There was one in the hospital and I, I don't think I'm supposed to do this, but I don't think I'm supposed to do this, but I don't know.

And I was like, and you just come to my house. Great. And she was amazing. So she was like a midwife at the hospital who specialised in like. and she was really good and she came over and on the Sunday so I came home from hospital on Friday and she came over on Sunday and just sat with me and showed me some really good positions and stuff and since then it's been great but the first couple of days it's like so lanolin the nipple cream yeah it's like it's not vegan because it's

she's full so please don't come at me but like there was nothing vegan about my fucking like nearly bleeding nipples so yeah it's it is painful but I feel really really really really lucky but so far so good because again i'm in these groups and stuff and i speak to the women like it's it doesn't work for everyone yeah my sister's like three weeks in to breastfeeding now and it's like it's working she produces so much milk it's crazy but she's in agony and my auntie who's um who's a now retired midwife was just like look you've given it good shots three weeks let it go let it go if it's causing you that much pain yeah But like she, it's so much milk.

She put a little, I don't know. The one behind you. Yeah, I've got one there that catches the, yeah, catches the spare milk off the other boos. Just catches the leak. Well, shit, man. No one told them about the leak. And when she cries, when she cries, no, no, I leak. I've got photos in me, like, and if I forget to put breast pads in, like out in public,

like I leak right through all my clothes. It's actually kind of embarrassing. It's kind of like the tip equivalent of a period bleed. But yeah, if you leave it too long, like between feeds, you just leak. and when they're drinking out of one, the other one just literally gushes, that stuff anyone tells you. But again,

I'm so lucky that it's working. Yeah. And every day I'm grateful for that. Like, I just feel so lucky that that's working. Yeah. Because it was really painful at the start. And my right nipples still just like.

It's all. It's not great. When she first goes on, I'm like, and then it's fine. I have to say, the minute she gets teeth, I think this arrangement might have to come to an end.

because it's like it's sore enough and she's just working with guns right now so we'll see how we go but I wanted to get to my jab her jabs okay that's my goal and then if I can eight weeks and then if I can get there

and I really feel like I will now and then ideally I'll go for six months nice manifest because I went so well with the birth but we'll try again but yeah like oh and she's so lovely little thing and then the easiest thing is just

just doing it like it's fine we were really lucky as well that we got or I don't know if it's luck I didn't know what it was I got out the house really quickly my scar got these blitz did I show you the face at the blisters yeah fucking obscene

I don't know why but my scar on either side got these huge blisters obviously I thought it was an infection then I thought I was going to give the infection to the baby then I thought the baby oh minute like that was a bit of a spin anyway turns out of those blisters you can get them on your feet you can get them on your fanny who knew

but they were huge daisy like genuinely the size of like a two P coin on one side maybe a one P coin somewhere between 20 P anyway I don't know why I'm doing it who's seen a pet who's seen coins I don't know anyway big big blisters

and so I went into the I went back to the hospital to have my stitches taken out on day five but that was really good because it got me out of the house I had to like dog myself up like as in put shoes on and like put her in the car seat and like go to the hospital

and I think doing that And then I went to the bagel factory. And then I was like, oh, well, I'm here. I'll go and buy some maternity pads. Oh, also, that's another fun surprise. After you have a cesarian, you keep bleeding. I'm still bleeding right this moment. What, like, from your family?

Yep. Why? Because all the shit that's inside your womb that, like, facilitates a child, all has to fall out. Oh, God. I know. So I assume that when people had vaginal birth, they'd be bleeding from, like, the wound. Like, I don't know. Same.

Yeah, no. It was like, just like a gushing wound. it's not it's just like all your all the bits like all the placenta bits and all where it was attached and all that shit has to come out oh my god at the beginning it's actually like I was lying in the hospital and obviously you're getting your legs back you've got catheter in so you don't move really on the first first few hours after this is own I have my catheter kept in until the next day but they there's a pad they put a pad underneath you you're not wearing pants or anything but they put a pad underneath you and then as the baby starts feeding

and it's obviously just cholesterol at the beginning as the baby starts feeding. You can literally, sorry, this is really gross, but you can literally feel the stuff coming out with you. Seriously? Yeah, I had to keep being like to the midwives and I'm like, oh my God, what's happening? And they were like, it's all very normal. It doesn't look fucking normal. It is. Oh my God. So I'm basically now still having a period like, yeah, how far am I four, four weeks still going and it goes up between six and 12 weeks, I think. What? Yeah, I think it should stop about six. No idea. Me neither. I genuinely thought it was just like a, like a sort of like the wound from a, from a vagina one.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's not bad. I thought it was just like a few days afterwards. No. No, you still, so, yeah, I went to boots on my day out to go and buy sanitary pads. Oh, wow. Yeah, you wear like really chunky fat ones at the beginning and then they've got thinner and thinner and now I'm just in like.

And then you can't whack a tampon in either, which I wish you could. Why not? I don't know. There's so much stuff you can't do. Can have a bar? Well, maybe I could now. I don't know. And you don't want to be the guy that like rings them in, but I've been like, can I have a bath?

So I'm just going to wait for those things to support. I'm just not going to do anything. but like until you get all cleared for stuff your scar as well looks so good so good it's so low my mum's like gel um because hers was so big from back yeah I think the science is getting

science is amazing it's amazing yeah but it's so low it's so narrow I'm like how did it yeah it's not just her that came out of that it's his hand went in to get her head do you know what I mean I don't like that

I know I know goes through me a bit yeah but like a big man hand went in there. It doesn't look big enough. Another Alex. Literally. One Alex got home, one went to heaven.

Shut myself. If you were in a nappy right about now. Very different. Well, that's going. Yeah. There's so much, there's so much bodily stuff that you learn. And you keep the baby bump when there's no baby in it. Oh, afterwards.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I still got my little pooch now. Have you? Pooch, pouch, pouch. Yeah, pooch is a dog. Yeah, I still got a little pouch.

Yeah, you're telling me there's not, does not, I am too dress size is bigger now than I was. Obviously, you don't just like snap. But I'm amazed at how little fucks I give. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I'm busy. I have not got time to give a shit about that right now.

Yeah. Priorities. Desperate to exercise. Are you? For my soul. I bet. Because I feel like myself again. I'm like, get me to a fucking cycle class. Yeah.

My mom's friends keep opposite. Like my mom's got. loads of friends that live around me. Mum doesn't, but her friends will do. And they keep being like, oh, any time you want to drop a bit, I'm like, I know how close you live next to cycle. Like, I will, they will be, yeah, I've got my appointment in two weeks' time and I'm going to be ditching her and running for like an hour.

You've missed that. You've missed exercise from the off, because you haven't been able to really do anything since you got pregnant. No. Yeah, sickness, like, yeah, the sickness was just too bad. So I am gassed. I found classes that she can come to. I've been out on my stupid little walks. But again, I thought cesarian recovery would be like sitting on my ass for six weeks.

but I've been grand, like... Yeah, that's great. Yeah, but look at miles and miles. You've been mobile. Mm-hmm. I feel absolutely fine. Yeah. The first few days after a C-section,

first four days, way worse than I could have imagined. Really? Every day since then, a million times better. Okay. The first day, I was like, whiff. This is really, really stings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you just walk it off.

Like, it just, you know, it gets better every day. And the midwife said to me on day one, she said, by day four, you'll forget that it could ever have been this bad. Really? And then, yeah, on day four, I was like, that's all about. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well done. Thanks, man. Well done. Yeah, okay, sorry. I forgot to show you the things I've been Googling. Oh, yes.

Okay, so things that I've ordered. Some are normal. Yeah, some are not. Okay. So I've ordered, actually, I don't know why, two litres of shampoo and conditioner. I'm a bolt buyer now. Moistriser cleanser, obviously.

I'm being influenced by literally everything. So I saw a nice hair roll that Megan Rose Lane's using to make a hair grow. Gorgeous. And my hair's all falling out. So I bought that. Is it very. memory one keep hearing about that yeah yeah yeah I've ordered it okay so I'll report

let me know yeah yeah a baby nail kit baby on board signs for the car yeah of course yeah because I thought those were really wanky until I realized that there if you have a car accident yeah it's so the fire brigade or ambulance no says the baby on board yeah so now I'm like well obviously we need them in every fucking window yeah I only just realized that yeah so you got baby on board signs coconut oil for the baby charging a long charging cable these are also boring this was this okay this was all the hand-baked cookies loads eight packets. Handpake cookies. Yeah, the shortbread. I don't even like it. Um, yeah, more hemorrhoid treatment. Breastfeeding, pregnant care treatment. Important. Um, I don't even

know what that is. A new watch strap. Oh, I got a new dog bed. People got on your dog bed. Oh, I've ordered a lot of maternity pads. Hand sanitizer. It hasn't been too bad, actually. Oh, I did get the astrologer's guide because I wanted to read her birth sign, the contemporary astrologer's handbook. Oh my God. I haven't got around to reading it yet. Although straight away, a lot of people, I think my friends know me very well because so many people sent me her birth chart like the second she was born. Amazing. So I know yeah where her moon is, where her son is. Okay.

100%. Yeah, she's good vibes. She's okay, that's good. Yeah, she's Aquarius. Like Dave. Son, yeah. And she's Gemini, like you, Gemini Moon. And then she's a cancer rising like me and Alex. Perfect. How good. A bit of everyone. Bit of everyone. Love that. Yeah, Gemini's my mom. Yeah.

Which obviously is like so annoying. No, I'm kidding. Not kidding. Donald Trump was a Gemini. That's all I know. But what are you going to do? Is he dead? No. No.

Oh my God. Have you not? Have you missed it? I've missed a bunch. Imagine. Yeah. Oh, it's, yeah. Hmm.

I've been trying to keep up with stuff. But like, loads of people don't want to tell you things when you have a bit. Like, people don't want to keep in your bubble. Yeah. Yeah. Give me the goss. Give me the drums. What's happening?

What's happening? I know. I know. I know you're sick on a whole bunch of a whole plethora of secrets. I know. Tell me. but you're leaving me be which I kind of appreciate but I'm also like tell me everything it's really funny you don't know like how much to and also I imagine it to be really annoying when

everyone's saying to you how's Arlo how are you how are you doing so I try not to be like how are you doing how's it going because I imagine it's just been like everyone's asking me that and like I'm fine it's okay you know what I mean I don't know I don't want to I just don't want to bore people I'm really aware that like they might not give a shit but it's not but it's not boring to other people. I don't think like if people ask, yeah. But then I'm not asking because it would bug you. If people explicitly ask for pictures or send them, but otherwise I'm too scared to send

them. Oh no, I like pictures. Okay. It's very hard to call it because you just don't want to be one of those people that's just, I like, how are you? Like when someone says like, how are you? And then you just send a photo baby, it's like, not really what I asked. I think we've also got the fun thing because I'm not showing her on the internet. It's a fun novelty for the, um, yeah. Yeah. That decision came to, came to us so easily. And I didn't want to decide until she was born. And the second

she was born, I was like, no. Yeah. No. You just because if one person dared say anything, I would have to literally rip their face off. Go out and kill them. Yeah. Like, there would be no question about it. I would have to get up out of this house and just

go and funny thought. I thought, oh my God, I've got something I have to tell you. What? Guess what Alex found under the car seat? Wait, let me get out. will I know? You'll know. It went missing for nine months and caused me a great deal of stress and got you all angry with me. Oh my God, your bank card. He found my bank card. Oh my God. It was in your car the whole time. So at that time I got stranded at the petrol station. It was right there. It was right there. I know, Olo. Can you believe? I know. I'm embarrassing. I know. So I had my car broke down the other day. That's how we found it because the car broke down. Oh my God.

Love that. Did you get a new card? I think I'm saying a new car. I did get a new card and now I need a new car, which is annoying i know i know is he that she's having a poo is she okay gosh she's so daddy's here hello don't come here

do you yeah do some chatting babes yeah let's chat yeah let's get some questions for Alex how are you I am very well oh very well and Arlo is too

I think she might be a bit hungry she's been eating for almost this whole time I'm eating, feels weird, feeding. I don't think that. Eating sounds funny. She's so hungry all the time. A bit like me. I get that.

I so get that. You know, it's great. I'm absolutely loving it. Gives you like a whole new perspective, I guess. I can't believe you're a month in. One month and a day. Yeah, I was saying to Emily the other day that I don't want to be one of those people who counts in weeks because it starts fine at four weeks. Yeah.

And five weeks. Because four weeks is a month. That's fine. But then when you get to like 18. and then, like, 19 and 20, how do you know? And no one else actually understands unless they've had a child. Yeah, that's true. It's so confusing.

So I'm going to stick to the months. Okay, so it's been a month. It's been one month and it's going well. She's happy, I think. She can't really tell us that, but, you know. I guess it's like with pregnancy, because I always get confused that people talk about pregnancy in weeks, but it's because so much happens in a week, right? And I guess when they're a newborn, like, so much happens in a week as well.

So much happens, but also, like, nothing happens. Like, she doesn't do anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Her calendar is free. I love that. She's relaxed, thriving, living. I said, like, I would love to be a baby.

It's the absolute dream. It's the dream. It's kind of like being booer, but you're just a bit needier. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is the dream. It's a baby's life.

It is a baby's life. Yeah. But, yeah, change your perspective. Are you tired? Are you okay? Yeah, I'm not as tired as M. because well M's all right but yeah we get up the night and

help the feed and things and you do get used to the sleep deprivation do you people say that yeah I guess your body's like survival instinct kicks in it's just like you just have to keep going you're up you're awake you're changing a napi and then actually like around between like 2am and 4 a.m. whenever we're up

I kind of enjoy being awake at that time I don't know what it is I kind of feel like everyone else is sleeping and yet I'm awake thinking and doing with things, you know, I... Such an overachieving at 2 a.m. Because my brain's completely switched on then. I don't know why. That's me. Do you not go back to sleep very quickly?

Sometimes I do. Yeah. I guess it's different for everyone. That's awesome realizing, you know, you can read all of these books and have all these opinions. Yeah. Everyone's experience is so different. So, and that's what I think is also really important when you're talking to people about it as well. Yeah. You just got to accept that it's all different.

And I think a lot of... of it will be like instinct and just how like what you feel comfortable with right like I know like my sister's been stressed because she she had this idea that she was going to do this with the baby beforehand and actually now she's feeling like she wants to do something different and it's like it's just it's I guess it must just come to you and just you just got to like play it by year haven't you yeah you got to play it by year you know whatever the baby wants we live on her time now yeah and we will do for the next few years and that's totally fine yeah um but we can't really you know we can try and actually something that M and I have spoken about trying to make sure we do.

And we have been doing it, I think, pretty successfully is getting up and out of the house and going and seeing people and trying to maintain some form of normality. Particularly for our own mental health as well. Like we don't want to become. For sure. The bubble is amazing. The big bubble. It's brilliant.

But also getting up, going out for a walk, seeing someone for a coffee, trying to have normal chats that aren't just baby sensory music and, you know, nappy changing. and so yeah you've you've had six weeks off you've got six weeks off work right yeah so that's you back in back in yeah back in two weeks yeah back in two weeks um and i feel so lucky to have yeah that's so great some people don't even get that you know a few people just get four weeks maybe two weeks um two weeks it's statutory isn't it i think for men for paternal paternal yeah and even still know i was speaking to a few people and their um their colleagues have male colleagues have taken time off and they've kind of been, you know, looked down upon by the older generation

in their company's been like, why do you need that time off? Like, why are you doing that? You know, women have been able to look after their babies for years and years. So why now do men need six weeks? Why, you know, even I think some companies are for six months. And you've got all these kind of old generation men being like, well, you don't need that. But I'm so bad. I guess that then kind of breeds this weird, you know, the old generation of fathers. who unfortunately had to be absent because of society and blah blah, blah. There's, I mean, there's lots you can go into there. But I've absolutely loved it.

So blessed to have these six weeks. That's so great. And I find that's so crazy because like two weeks. Yeah. What are you supposed to do in two weeks? You haven't scratched the surface at that point. Like you're in no routine. You're still, and I'm saying this is someone who doesn't even know,

but like from what I can see, like it's just you're still in absolute chaos. So for you to like pick up and go to work after this. two weeks is I mean even after six weeks it seems you know like there's no like we're trying the routine but there isn't really a routine and thankfully I work from home a bit so I will be able to be around you know at lunch breaks or whatever it is but those who have to go back into the office five days a week I just I don't know particularly for people who you know their other halves you know have to be the sole care for the baby because you know it's expensive having child care it's expensive you know putting a child in nursery not everyone

can do it so i just you know things do need to change and something that i keep on having conversations about is and it always goes back to this gender pay gap conversation of the more men that take paternity leave it will drive um higher salaries for women because we'll all then be hopefully taking the similar amount or not similar amount of time off but yeah long time out of our careers and then slowly balancing that again yeah um but i do see it shifting you know yeah i hope so i think like Google um Spotify um Spotify offer six months full pay as well yeah yeah so anyone from Spotify for listening yeah which is amazing isn't it but yeah I definitely think we're because because yeah I mean it's always been two weeks and I think like now we're at a point

where that's starting to be like that's crazy like yeah you just cannot do that anymore and then also like you know having the time off is amazing because you know that both parents perhaps can be there but also when you go back into the office whether it's the mum or the dad or the parents, having a company that supports you being a parent is also so important. You know, one of my other, my previous jobs, there was a breastfeeding room in the office. Wow. And some of, again, I go back to that kind of older generation men will roll their eyes of that and think, well, why the hell is there a baby in the office in the first place? This is a place of work. And you think, but also, you know, breastfeeding women need to come to the office.

Right. So I think parents of babies also have to. Yeah, exactly. And so I think officers, even though they're kind of now, you know, I think of the past, but officers do need to change when they're expecting employees to come in, particularly parents. Yeah. You know, offering, you know, different opportunities or time off or different even timing schedules as well. Yeah. I've been talking about my haemorrhoids and my bleeding vagina. And then Alex was like, so the gender pay gap. I was just one saying, this podcast took a total turn and I loved it. It was great. Me too. I wish I'd talk less about my hemorrhoids now and more about parental rights

but anyway back to you yeah I'm loving being a dad there's nothing to compare it to really it's just a weird experience this overwhelming love but also kind of like holy shit we've been given this child with no like training

I mean we didn't do any classes beforehand no training and someone's like here you go look after this life form forever no one showed me to how to change a nappy. No one showed us really those kind of things. Well,

probably our fault for not in the classes. But all these new experiences, you know, bathing her and not thinking, well, when you take her out of the bath and put her in a nice, you know,

lovely towel that someone's given us from a fancy towel company, then she shits all over the towel. Like, we weren't expecting that. Yeah. We should have seen that coming. But yeah,

I'm loving it. And it's tiring at times, but the kind of love and excitement every day of what she's going to do this morning, I swear she smiled at me. She did. She smiled at him. Oh.

So, yeah, all these little experiences. And again, having this time off is amazing to witness them all. So, yeah, loving it. Highly recommend. Oh, 10 out of 10. 10. Yeah, five stars.

Thank you. Bye-bye. Oh, no thanks, Alex. That was really lovely. Bye. There we go. You're back. I'm back.

Yeah. Yeah. Now you all know way too much about me. It's so cool. It's so nice to have you back. I've missed you. I've missed you. And I miss a podcast. This is more than I miss. I'm so scared about being a mum on Instagram because I just, I don't think I can never mention it because I'm just so scared of everyone and everyone's so judgmental and mean. But, and fuck knows the forums. Just nothing, nothing riles them more than someone giving birth. But it feels so different with the podcast.

It is. So mum comes up once a week and sleeps in bed with me so that Alex can go downstairs. And I don't technically need her to, but it's just really nice to have the company and the support. And we just have a really nice time. anyway um what was i saying oh yeah i said that to her this morning what was i saying to her this morning about the podcast yeah fucking yeah am i right um am i ready am i okay um yeah because that that instagram thing did knock me but then when coming back to the podcast it's like to my mom it's like they're my friends the podcast is the best it's like i was like i miss that so much i wish i could just just do this but um yeah i'm so excited everyone like we'll be very pleased to have me back and i'd be really happy

to have Arlo like on the, I was like, yeah, we can share her with the podcast. I just can't share her with Instagram because Instagram are mean, but podcasts are nice. They're the best, yeah. So if you just visualise a perfect baby, that's what Arlo looks like. If you just visualised, me just, no stunning thing you've ever seen. Two witnesses. Two witnesses. Agreed.

They can't say that she's not, because obviously I'd whack them around there with my phone. Yeah, actually. Yeah. But yeah. No, she's divine. Yeah, she's gorgeous. And, yeah, I feel really lucky that I get to come back to work with her. well thanks for coming back

I missed you I'm glad that you're back thanks for carrying the fort carrying the fort holding the fort well actually to be fair I mean because we'd pre-recorded because we'd worked so hard before before you gave birth

it was actually it's been a bit of a breeze honestly thanks friends I feel really lucky yeah it's been it's been great it's been really easy but I have missed you and I'm glad you back so so going forward I'll be back for GBAs and we've got the interviews that we'd record

and Jan and then in a few weeks we'll be back doing interviews again so if there's anyone you want to hear from let us know yeah let's know I've been booking them in again got a few people lined up I've been I've been lining them up waiting to like hit you with them I'm excited okay I'm excited so so yeah well not like they're not in the diary but like people that I'm like we have to have them on the podcast oh no for them to say no to us for them just to reject us exactly yeah for us to be rejected by crushing can't wait can't wait my ego my egos have got a little inflated recently I I could do it with a bit of a battering.

I can do it a bit of ghosting. You need humbling. I need humbling badly. I can do that. 100% good. I'm delighted. Can't wait. Guys, I've missed you loads.

Thanks so much for having us back. And for, well, just yeah, I'll actually cry like that. I just feel very grateful for both of you and everyone. Oh, we love you. Love you. Bye, everyone. Bye. See you next week.

Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network. Thank you.