Should I Delete That? - ‘I did wrong and I’m sorry’: Love Island star Faye Winter

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Faye Winter appeared on Love Island in 2021 and when she left the villa she was faced with a lot of noise and a lot of criticism. In this episode, Faye chats candidly about seeing herself in a different light, admitting she was wrong, and how she apologised and is working towards becoming a better person. Faye tells us about her desire to live a normal life after appearing on the show - but how some people can perceive that as a failure, and how the choices that influencers make are dictated and driven by their audience engagement. We also have a candid chat about Faye’s experience with filler - and how it is unregulated in the UK. Faye shares a horror story about botox and explains why she’s so vocal about the topic now. Thanks so much to Hinge for sponsoring this episode. The dating app, which is designed to be deleted, inspires daters to take it slow this holiday season and reflect on the learnings from the past year. As we near the end of 2024, it’s the perfect time for a profile refresh demonstrating the person you’ve grown into this year and creating New Year’s intentions #HingePartner ADFollow @faye__winter on InstagramEmail us on [e-mail] us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That? is produced by Faye Lawrence Music by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is sponsored by Hinge, the dating app designed to be deleted. Lots of our friends are currently in the thick of dating journeys and we are very much being kept up to speed. Absolutely. I love hearing from one friend in particular who is a big Hinge fan and has used the app to meet lots of new people. Some matches have had romantic potential and some haven't, but all of the interactions are taught us something about herself and helped her identify what she's actually looking for in a romantic partner. My sister, an iconic friend of the podcast, Kat, actually met her partner Kieran on Hinge a couple of years ago. Of course, they're such a cute couple. They really are. And I really want to encourage any of you guys who are still on your dating journeys at the moment, particularly as the year comes to an end.

It is a great time to reflect on learnings from the past year and update your profiles ready to start 2025. All of the moments from this past year, both good and bad, ultimately have shaped who we are now. And it's a great opportunity to take stock of that. Reset intentions and refresh our hinge profile to better represent who you've grown into so that one day you can find the one. One prompt you might consider is, this year I really want to. It's a great way to share a piece of yourself with potential connections who are also reflecting on their own journey. If you had a hinge profile, what would you change about it for 2025?

Oh, God. Okay. So if it was like old me when I was dating, I would definitely make sure that I really showed up without any filters or edits to my pictures going into next year. I think it's so important to be you and not get hung up in societal pressures of what or who you should look like. Oh, I'd also 100% include me eating pistachio ice cream has become very very. much of personality trait I love about myself. That's so true about removing filters and also the

ice cream and definitely something I'd love to encourage anyone who is on the dating scene to think about when refreshing your hinge profiles, pistachio ice cream or not make 2025 your year. Thank you to Hinge for sponsoring this episode of Should I Delete That. And don't forget to refresh your Hinge profiles for 2025. I think a lot of the time we see people making excuses, I think trying to get out of certain situations. And I didn't want to do that. I wanted to hold my hands up and say, I did wrong. And I'm sorry. Hello and welcome back to Should I Delete that. I'm Alex Light and I don't actually have M Clarkson with me this week for good, bad and awkward. M's on the countdown to giving birth officially. But our HD is not letting up and she's really going through it.

So I made the executive decision to do this week's intro by myself and just let her rest up. I'm not going to go into a full GBA as is standard practice around here. But I will give you a very short, bad and a short, awkward. My bad is that my nephew chat on my phone, my beautiful iPhone, and spent a couple of minutes smearing it in and around the iPhone before I realized what was going on. So that was fun. And I'm giving you an awkward via my sister Jen. She was at home alone when her Alexa said out of nowhere, you might not be bright and you might not be beautiful. And that was it.

That's all she said. She said nothing else. What a horrible roast from a product that you paid good money for. Anyway, let's get onto this week's guest. So we have Fay Winter, who was a content. on Love Island in 2021. So Faye was a finalist on the show. She came in third place. But she did cop a lot of backlash during her time on the show. There was one argument in particular with her then-partner Teddy that garnered a lot of complaints to Fafcom and face heated behaviour definitely sparked debate. But we're three years on now and so we were interested to speak to Faye and hear her perspective on her time in Love Island now. Does she feel that she deserved the backlash?

How was it leaving the villa to criticism? And does she regret her time on the show? I'm not going to give you any spoilers because we go in depth in the interview and all of these questions. But I will say that we had a conversation that we thought was incredibly valuable and heartfelt. And it sounds a bit cheesy, but we just really, really, really liked Faye. But that is enough from me. let's hear from Faye herself Hi Faye

Hey guys Hello thank you so much for coming in Oh god thanks for having me So excited We are very excited to talk to you You were on Love Island back in 2021 Yeah

That was seen like a lifetime ago now Oh it's so long ago When people ask me about it I'm like I feel like I was a different person Do you? I just feel like in the last three years I got to see myself in like a light that no one can ever, you can't even relate to it unless you've been on the show.

But you get to see yourself in a light that you would never expect to see yourself in. I saw that actually I can be a massive asshole at times. So I could just, I really wanted to take it. And then like in the last three years, just grow and develop and become a really, a better person than I was. My God, that's, yeah, that's so cool. And it's like, yeah, it's very,

when you think, when you deepen it, it's like quite hard. Like, no one ever gets to experience it, then go it's a hard way don't get me wrong oh my god but when it happens and you realise that actually you need to become a better person

and there's so many parts of you that you need to change it makes you grow up real quick that's kind of I mean really remarkable in the self-awareness because I personally would not have it but also like

the internet famously and like showbiz all of it like we are not very good at letting women grow yeah like we kind of like holding them in places where we first, like, our first impression basically counts, right? Like, how have you found trying to, like, orchestrate this growth publicly? Like, how are people responsive to it? Like, I think the first thing I needed to do is take full accountability for it.

So any actions that happened on the show, off of the show, who I was before, I need, I took full accountability for it. And I had to apologise a lot as well for how I had acted in certain situations. So I think once people realize that actually it wasn't really me, like actually deep down, I know, it's taken me three years to be able to say, I know I've got a really good heart. I know my outer shell was very, very hard.

But I know I've got a good heart and I stand for all the right things, but not very many people get to see that. So I think first of all, I need to take accountability. And I think a lot of people reacted to that, I mean, there's still people out there that hate me to this day, but a lot of people reacted to that with, okay she's taken a lot we don't see a lot in the public eye

people taking accountability for things I think a lot of the time we see people making excuses I think trying to get out of certain situations and I didn't want to do that I wanted to hold my hands up and say I did wrong and I'm sorry and then I think most people have allowed me to grow and followed my journey

and also I've really I retook the time to be like I don't want to do what I would say regular influencing people or regular Love Islanders do. I don't want to move to London. I don't need a new group of friends. Like, I love my life before.

So going back to that and my dog and everything I stand for really kind of just merged together and everyone's like, oh, actually, she's not as bad as what she was on TV now. I can't, you're so mature with your like handling of that because I would just be like, oh no, I can't. That also happened as well. There was a lot of tears. There was a lot of therapy and there was a lot that went into it.

Yeah. But I think now I can speak about it a lot better, I suppose. Like, at the time, oh my God, I thought my world was ending. That must have been hell coming out. Yeah, obviously, but I've always said I deserved it. Like, I deserve for people to give me a bit of shit because I wasn't the nicest version of myself. So I couldn't expect to dish it out.

be this like awful person and then not expect people to be like hang on you need to you need to own it and i did so um yeah it was but it was really difficult yeah but also i didn't speak about how difficult it was for a long time because i also didn't want to come out and be the and play the victim of the way that you guys are making me feel is making me in a really dark place i didn't want to do that so i came out and was like okay we need to work what we've got here well cry in private i'm not going to let anyone know how it's affecting me. And now, three years on, I can say, yeah, I was in a real dark place.

But we're still here, we're still turn the story. For what it's worth, I watched your series, and I did not think you were an awful person. Oh, really? Like, it's kind of hard to hear that, yeah. That shouldn't be a surprise either. That's me like, really? Yeah, I didn't think you're an awful person.

I think there was two sides of it. I think a lot of people said, oh my God, she's a very strong woman and women should be allowed to be angry and women should be allowed to project their voice and they should be allowed to show their emotional side and but a lot of the time in my eyes I've never really been I've been somebody that cries but I cry a lot after anger so my first initial reaction is to go

oh my fucking God I fucking hate you and a lot of women did relate to that side of things but then the other side of things there was a lot of women that and a lot of men that were also very offended by the way that I was So I needed to apologise to those people And you can still be a strong woman And still be, and still effing blind And I always say you can still be a good person

And tell somebody you fuck off You can still do that But actually I Didn't need to react with such anger And actually it's okay to cry And show your softer side Because a lot of the time women don't want to do that But, and I didn't do that on the show

I cried afterwards And then I'd get angry and then I would cry but that was always my normal reaction instead of just being like somebody actually you've really upset me this is how you've upset me and actually letting my emotions and probably crying in that moment

my first reaction was to always get angry and shout at them but you could tell that you weren't you were upset it seemed like you were triggered and you were reacting out of that it wasn't like I'm just going to be I'm going to be a bitch

and I'm going to shout it wasn't like that I don't know I still to this day and I found like through therapy my biggest trigger is lying. So if you lie to me, like I, I would always, and I've always been brought up, my mum has always said to me, if you tell me the truth, I'll back you to the end. And I'm your biggest supporter, regardless of the situation, if you lie to me, I'm your biggest enemy. Mom, I'm always scared me of that one. So I feel like when, and I can speak

about it now, but it was so true. Like, if somebody tells me, don't try and protect me by, with a lie, I'd rather be hurt with the truth. And then it's my decision then if I want to forgive somebody or move forward. So I find, even to this day, and I'm okay to say, I get very triggered with being lied to. And I'm, unfortunately, I'm a very brutal, an honest person. And I would, I always want that back in respect to somebody else. I think it is interesting, though, like the whole,

because I remember the discourse at the time about the, like, your right to be angry. And it's like, it's just not something we see in women. Like men, men typically respond with anger. And it's like, have you seen that meme that's like, the best like marketing ploy in history was like women being branded the emotional set because men rebranded anger as not being an emotion.

And it's basically this like, it is, I mean it's, it's a very visceral emotion anger, but it's not one that we typically think of when we think of an emotional person because we think of a woman when we think of emotional people and they cry. And we just think of anger is more manly. I think it's like, I think it's really interesting because it's very confronting for people to see angry women and like... Yeah. And there's a level to it, right?

So, and I think what I really struggled with when I came out, I got called like an abusive woman and an abuser. And I was like, oh, that hit because I was like, oh, I don't think I've been that. But I need to look into it because I don't want to be that if for any reason anyone thinks that I've been that person, I don't want to be seen that way. So, you know, I was, there were, I was angry. Like, there was, there was things that I was angry about. And actually, I can sit here today and say, it is absolutely okay to be angry, but also it's okay to take five minutes and go and work out what your emotion is. And I never allowed myself to do that.

So as much as I, I know one of my common faults is that I'll say, somebody leave me alone. Just leave me alone. leave me alone and I know if somebody doesn't leave me alone I know I know that I will I'll spark but I've worked on it you know yeah so and I've got my dog I've brought her up on my own and that takes a lot of patience and she's great so I mean and that do you know what it's probably one of my biggest learning curves but when people are like so like when they say about Bonnie and like the dog and I'm like my dog saved me though so it's like the whole thing the last three years when I was at my darkest I then

got Bonnie and she literally was the only thing that I relied on. So, yeah. That's so nice. And it's so awesome. Yeah. That must have been horrible coming out to so much noise though.

That's... To any noise. I mean, to any... Yeah. Like, any perception. Exactly. But there's reality TV, isn't it now? Everyone's got an opinion on everything.

And I was only speaking to something about the other day. I can't remember who it was I was speaking to. But I was like, it's weird how... When we were growing up, we had like, Hollyoaks. years later skins we had like all of these programs that now actually and like he senders and Corey everything but we actually want that reality in real life.

Like the soaps are kind of disappearing but people still want that drama but they want it from real people and actually it's it's damaging and unless you take the time like when you come out of reality TV it's like well you're thrown into this world and it's crazy. Before you went in, did you know it was going to be? Did you anticipate what it was going to be when you came out? No, because I always said to my family, I was like, I only be in there a week. Like, I honestly didn't think I would be in there half as long. Like, I thought, what an amazing experience.

Also, they always say to you, you're not in until you're in. Like, we can fly you out there, but until you're walking into those doors, you're not in. So I didn't, I just, in my head didn't think I was going on. And if I was going on, I didn't think I was going to make it the full six, eight weeks. Yeah. But I always knew that I didn't, I never done it to, like, move to London. I didn't want to live in London. I had, like, my amazing friends.

I didn't even really want to change my career. I only took a sabbatical from work. Like, I wanted to be back to being an estate agent. And then I came out and my boss was like, I don't think right now is a time for you to come back. And I still speak to them all to the state. But yeah, I didn't expect it, no. Like, and then, but then that's why I also needed, like, to take a bit of quiet. I've taken the last few years to be a bit more on the quiet side.

Had you been prepared by anyone for coming out, anyone to do with ITV or anything? No, not really, no, not to the, and also, most people that were in my series knew of somebody or they knew they had a manager or they already knew someone that had been on the show or something and they had like a, but I didn't have any of that. I mean, the closest I had was a girl that I think she was on season two, lovely girl, I never spoken to her before in my life. Now I've come out, I've spoken to her, but she moved. back down to Devon and she's still with her partner from her season. They've got two kids together and, you know, they've done amazingly, but they chose really the quieter life. That's mad to think. I didn't even think about the fact that you went in without management. I didn't go, yeah, I came out and it was literally like you need management.

Fuck. It's like a whole, that's a whole other world in itself. You know, you don't want management that have got other talent that potentially want to do the same as you, but you don't get told any of this when you come out you literally and then it's literally like you are a piece of meat and everyone is just fighting over you and promising you the world and that's really... And who do you go for?

Don't do what I done basically that's what I will say but I mean it's really hard. I've got great management now and they're incredible and they really understand me but I knew when I came out of Love Island I didn't want to do fast fashion I didn't want to do beauty

so there wasn't really a massive industry for me to do and there was a couple of jobs that I did do that kind of pushed me down that way that I didn't even sign off and I was like hang on this I didn't agree to this I don't want to do it I don't want to do it so yeah that was yeah it was a fun time sorry I'm so overwhelmed for you I'm like

do they email you like how does that even work in old when people talk about it's like how you imagine your phone ring email. I'm like, how do they have your number? No, so you come out and basically, um, ITV will give you like a list of the management that have reached out to you.

Oh, I see. Wow. Or they could have reached out to you via like your DMs. So my sister had a list of people that had reached out. Right. But even to her, like this was new. Yeah, of course. Um, then you set up obviously meetings,

but at the time we were the last season to come out during COVID. So we were in on lockdown for seven days, I think, or five days. Um, so we could only do it via Zoom. And I was in Devon. So I came back and went straight down to Devon. So that was, yeah, that was crazy. We literally doing Zooms and all these people just like promising you the world. And it was just, yeah, crazy.

I almost think it's harder. If you're going into Levant, it's harder to come out and go back to your normal life than it is to lean into this new life of a reality star, right? Because it's like, oh, then you know, you go to the flashy parties and stuff and, like, debateable whether that's, like, good for you in the long term. But in the short term, as a transition, that must make things easier. At least you're going into a different life. But just going back home after that crazy experience and being so exposed.

And then you just go back to your normal. And literally lockdown for, like, five days. Luckily, I think that was a really good time for me because I actually, I got to speak to my friends and my family and those closest to me about the situations that had upset them because the first people I needed to apologize for for things that had happened in the show, although they were so proud of me, my family were so proud of me, my dad especially because he loves the fact that I was, you know, very gobby and yeah, he loved that.

But it was that time to really speak to my family and apologize to them and, you know, because whilst I was in there, they were picking up the pieces whilst I was in the show. So they were the ones I needed to speak to the most. So that five days really did kind of help. really grateful for those five days. But I think what a lot of people also think is that when you go home, if you choose to do that and choose to maybe live a bit more of a normal life and you don't get seen at all these parties and, you know, all this gifted stuff and you can't, some people

will just see you as a failure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. But what they don't realize is that a lot of people nowadays, I think, are waking up to the influencer culture. And I think what they don't realize is the general part. get to choose what influencers do. They don't know it, but actually they get to choose. So when you engage with somebody's post that's, you know, more beauty-fied,

as you guys will know, that influencer will be led down the beauty path. If you're engaging with people, like I get a lot of engagement on my charity work, which allows me then to do more charity work. So I'm really grateful for that and that's what I want to do. Yeah, it's interesting that like it does kind of feel like you end up on a path. It's sort of at like the public's, like the public dictates all of it because it's like it's your success on the show. To an extent it's obviously production because they produce, they have their stories

to tell as well within what, like within the show anyway. But it is like the platforms that you're given are given to you by us. Like they're given, you know, by the viewers, by the followers. And it is really interesting then the standards that you're held to. But it's also difficult when it's like you've come out. to all these people who are still following you and they've voted for you and whatever but they're also giving you a hard time

and that's a really like unfair position to you're I think probably not going to say it's unfair because you sound like you've got a very mature head but for me I feel like it's quite unfair on you because it's like they're putting you they're like well we're going to take you here and we're going to give you all of this and we're going to put you on this highest highest pedestal

and millions of us are going to follow you and then we're going to shout at you and that's all right yeah or they'll follow you and you'll make a decision and ultimately it's only your decision and the public don't agree of it. Like I'm, I came out and I worked with the guide dogs for years. I was a volunteer for the guide dogs before I went into Love Island. It was something that I was very passionate about.

And the first thing that I announced on my Instagram that I was doing was becoming a campaign star for guide dogs. And it was my greatest achievement. It still is to this day that I was able. And they gave, and they saw through what was shown of me on TV. And they said, no, you, you've, you've, been our guide dog volunteer we want you as part of our team that was amazing but a lot of people turn around and said well that's embarrassing it like oh well it was no money in it so obviously

i don't get paid for that it's completely voluntary what i do but because there was no monetary status with it the press and stuff they they didn't see it as an achievement so they so you don't get pushed for it so because it wasn't a half a million pound deal or a six figure deal they were but oh well it's you know it is what it is where for me it but if I had come out and signed a fast fashion deal at X amount of money it would have been plastered everywhere yeah I'm really grateful that my followers enjoy that side of what I do more than anything else I shop at supermarkets like my clothes I love a supermarket shop and they love the fact that I go to Tesco's and buy my clothes if I was to then go and do a fast fashion what I would call an online

fast fashion they'd be like what are you doing like they're doing like they're They know, I feel like they know me now enough to be like, well, that doesn't make sense. But yet they give you the platform and then a lot of people go, oh, wow, it's another Love Islander doing another fast fashion deal. And it's like, yeah, but that's what you guys engage with. So that's what pays more money. So of course, it's a vicious circle. Of course the new Love Islanders coming out are going to do that and get into the washing machine. Yeah.

Yeah. And I imagine it's pretty hard to resist. Oh, with the money that they put in front of you. Yeah. Oh my good. Like, you can't say no to it. Like, I mean, there are people out there, and I was one of them. I had a brand that really, and I said, I don't want to work with that.

It doesn't align with me. And the people that were supporting me at the time were like, you, you need to take this deal. And I was like, no, I don't. And I don't want it. So, yeah, I mean, I can see how, you either make money fast and you make a lot of it, or you can make no money and disappear off the face of the earth. Or some people, they, there's so many different ways. but a lot of the time it's either the lane that's already been carved out for you

and you make the money and people engage with it and then you carry on going or you get forgotten about and you get put to the side. Yeah. But that's hard too because even if that's the lane that you end up on, you know, like you say, your estate agent job wasn't there when you got back. No, and it's weird because I would have loved to have gone back to it. But the amount of times you see in like the press and it's like, ex at Love Islander returns to old job like it's a bad.

And it's like, but actually like, what if you want to do that? Yeah. And also if they didn't, if you were doing the other thing, you know, like the fact is, it's like despite the fact that you do have to and people will always say that influencing is an easy career and they're welcome to try it and make their own mind up once they've done it. But it isn't. It's in and of the fact that it comes with so much pressure on the scale that you guys do

it's huge and yeah okay there might be elements of it that are easy but there will be elements of it that are very very difficult and it does feel unfair that it's like the second you do love island if you go and do the inevitable then you're going to be lambasted forever for doing this easy oh you had everything handed to it's easy it's no skill required blah blah blah and then if you don't do it you also get oh well they failed at doing the easy thing and it's like well what do you want What do you offer? It's hard because there is obviously so many perks. To what we do as a job, there is so many perks to it. But there are also a lot of downside. Like when you, people say, oh my God, they're always on holiday. I mean, I don't go on that many holidays. Obviously, I do go on

holiday, but I wouldn't actually know I do go more than probably the average person. But I'm very grateful for that. And I try not to go as much as I probably could. However, when people are on holiday, it's the time for them to capture their content. So you, what people don't see is the fact that actually they get changed four times a day to go and get content to put on their Instagram to show you they're having a good time. And it is literally like influences in the world. Like when you see it, it's so true. You've got to film everything. You've got to create reels. If you're not creating reals, you've got to be on your stories. If you're not going doing that. You need to be on TikTok. Like there's so many parts to it that I, and I don't,

I don't enjoy editing videos together. Oh, I love taking videos of my dog. And then people are like, oh yeah, well, your life's boring. It might be boring, but I'm really happy. So let me have a boring, happy life. Yeah, it's so true. But then people go, but it's the content people consume and then moan about, but all you do is go on holiday. It's like, well, then don't follow you. Like, stop following it.

Yeah, well, that's the thing, isn't it? I mean, I know that there's so many people out there that don't agree with the influencer culture. And I get it. And there's so many people that want to go into it. And like you say, if you want to or if you've got, try it, I've actually found this job so much more difficult and so actually, I enjoy it. less than when I used to go into an office.

Obviously, there is parts of it that I absolutely love. And I'm not going to ever sit here and say I don't. And if I wanted to give it up and go back to an office, I could do that. And obviously, we do get perks that we get amazing pays. And, you know, it is great and so much freedom. But elements of this is so much harder than when I was just doing my job. And I loved my estate agency job. Yeah.

So to leave something that I loved, and I also worked for 10 years for them before. I went to love by and it. It was not like I was doing it for like a year before. I worked for 10 years, like building my way up as an estate agent to then leave that behind. I was like, oh, God. And then I thought, oh, it's right.

I'll bring it into this new life. But no one seemed to care about it. So I was like, okay, so it's dropping off my engagement, which means my engagement, obviously I don't get paid as well. If my engagement isn't as gray, it's like a lot of the clogs are turning. You think, oh my God.

Like, when does this stop? Yeah. Yeah, high's a high, but the low ones are lower. Yeah. Yeah. And that is so true. Like when you think about people in the public eye, when you see them doing so well and out and about all the time,

what they don't document is the lows where actually you don't want to get out of bed and it can be a really difficult day. And they go, oh, and people just, they have no sympathy for that. No. Which is fine. You don't have to have sympathy for it. But everyone's got their highs and lows. was an added layer for you as well because you came out with a boyfriend right yeah so there's

like that added layer of scrutiny and eyes on you which i feel it happens with any love island relationship yeah like how long's gonna last when they're gonna break up you know yeah i think that was yeah it was obviously very difficult coming out and having all eyes on you i feel like when i say i went through like my darkest time before i got bonnie i was away from my friends i was away from my family. I'd moved up closer to here, closer to be with him. And I really struggled with that. So, yeah, and then, but people, you couldn't talk about it. You can't just be like to your friends or to my friends, obviously I could, but you can't just go online and be like, we're having a really crap day. We've had an argument. You know, like, you don't, you don't see that side of thing. So

when everything then ends and everyone's like, oh my God, like what happened? And then, and then, there's so many parts of a relationship that they can easily crumble. It's really difficult because you feel like you have to explain yourself because it's the public and they gave you that platform and they followed your journey. Yeah. I feel invested in you as a couple. Yeah. And you want to give them it.

But actually, how are they going to react when they do find out the whole truth if you're going to tell them the whole truth? So I just chose never to speak about the whole truth. I don't, it isn't something that I feel that I don't want sympathy for it. I don't want, I just, I just want it to move on with my life. So it was very simple for me to just to move back down to Devon. So, you know, the night that I, the day that I got Bonnie, I feel like was the moment that I realized that I was living a life that I wasn't happy in. And she was the one that gave me the confidence to be like, right, we've got each other, we've got this, you rely on me, I rely on you, we're moving. And that's what we done. So it's strange when you think about people's relationships in the public eye and what you see as the truth. And also I came out, a lot of people, I came out of Love Island with a lot of people disliking me. And then actually what goes on behind the closed doors is really difficult because you don't want to talk.

really hard to get the words out. You don't want to talk too much about your relationship and you don't want people to know too much. But actually, when things aren't rosy and things aren't portrayed as correct, it's really difficult to then find that balance. Yeah, because your whole, I mean, your whole relationship,

when you start a relationship in the way that you did is it's like, it's so dystopian because the public vote on it, they have a say in it. Like Al said, they're really invested in it. And then you have to work out, obviously, the dynamic is completely shift when you're not being recorded 24-7 and you've got to like fit into each other's real lives and whatever else. But then you've got this kind of like public expectation and nosiness, which they feel entitled

to, which to a degree you could argue they are. But also there at some point you have a right to say, no, this is my boundary. And it's like we are so uncomfortable. with that and it's and I do think it's a real shortcoming that we have with all reality TV well with all celebrities really where we just think no you've sold your souls with the beast and we can do with you whatever we want which isn't true because you do have the right at any point to say like bot out like this is none of your business I feel like the moment you leave love Ireland they don't have they're not entitled to really yeah I mean yeah because I mean what's the

argument is that they voted for you but they voted for you they voted for the person to win the series and then that's it that's the end of it they don't they give you your platform but that's on them that yeah yeah i get what you're saying i do get what you're saying i think if they followed you afterwards and you're not delivering the content they they watch i tv every night knowing kind of what they're going to get they get as much say as they're going to get with their votes but then when they when when you're out and that dynamics ended i do think it is different and that if they don't like the content that you're creating it's on them to unfollow you not you to change the content because otherwise the beast is unsatiable.

Like, you'll never satisfy them, right? Yeah, and this is something I think a lot of people don't. So when you've got like normal, what I say, like normal influences that have built them from the ground up that have, you know, they started with zero followers and they're on like 200K4.

People that follow them have seen their whole journey and they do really well because they put their whole life onto social media. Whereas obviously when you come out of reality and also there is a lot of opinions on how you were on the show I think it's hard because

naturally you lose followers anyway and I've never been one to really care how many followers I lose I don't, it is a numbers game out there but I don't care like I literally went into the villa with a thousand followers I came out of 1.2

I'm on 1.1 now like they're dropping and that's fine if you don't want to follow me that's absolutely fine and a lot of people say that you don't like my content because it isn't what you would say is standard influencer content

that is okay but to a degree degree when I was in the relationship and in any relationship I feel like I would owe it to my followers for them to know because I think they didn't know me before and it was my it was my relationship that I get me into the public heart to see rather than an obligation I guess maybe that's a good way to put it maybe yeah as a courtesy but but I did choose not to come out and be like this is why we broke up yeah this is why I blocked him this is why we no longer speak like i would never come out and say the reasons why

because one i know how difficult it was when i got come out of the villa and i got so much hate to um a lot of people and a lot of people did say that i deserved whatever i got because of the way that i was in the villa fine um but also i just and we're talking about but i just don't want to give him the lie like i just don't care has he spoken about the ending of the relationship like publicly uh well yeah i get sent things quite right i think luckily it's stop now because i just just let it just let it be and i know people will say oh you're talking about it now and i but i'm not giving any new information no no and we are asking yeah yeah so no no no that's fine and obviously i've got no problems of answering anything but

i just don't want to give it like like i just you just need to like with a fire you just have to suffocate yeah fair enough that is your right and I do think it's it I think the conversation that we're having I do like we don't want to press like obviously on the details because the details are actually irrelevant like it's more this kind of like wider expectation that we have from people that we just play with like it's I do I think it is really interesting and I think it's like it it it must be very frustrating although yes you've got things you're grateful for but it must be frustrating to try and do things differently because it's not what people expect and one thing that you have done differently that I haven't really heard a

of people speak about, it's the awareness that you're trying to raise for like plastic surgery and treatments like that in the wake of the show. And I think that's so interesting because that's a conversation that we, with our very one-dimensional view of reality television, we don't expect reality stars to be having that conversation. No, I think when I was on the show, obviously, I, again, I got to see myself in a different light, not just the way I acted, but actually the way I looked. I remember coming off a show and I saw some photos of myself. and I thought, rah, what have I done to my face? I always remember my mom and dad being like,

you don't need any more filler, like you look like a trout, you look like a, my own dad, you might be able to tell, they're very straight with me. As much as they love me. But I literally was like, what have I done to my face? Really? And I couldn't believe, I was like, I don't look like that when I look in the mirror. And I don't look like that when I take a photo. So why do I look like that now?

And I'd realize that I had just been overfilled with filler. And it was only in my lips, funnily enough. And but I'd got gone to this girl who was actually my friend at the time. She just kept filling me with filler. And there was no, like, stop. Like it was just, no, let's just keep going. Let's keep going. And when I came out, I was like, hang on, I've got a platform.

Do I use my platform? to flog cheap shit? Or do I use my platform and talk about things that are really important? Yes, am I going to lose followers along the way? But have they still heard my messaging before they clicked unfollow? Yeah. So for as long as I've got a platform

or as long as I've got you as a follower, I will talk about things that I genuinely believe need to change. And filler and Botox being unregulated in this country needs to change. We lost literally a month ago A lady died from having a BBL with filler In this country She's literally left her children behind Because it's unregulated

And I've spoken about it since I come out of the villa This is now like three years And I know that more people are coming out and speaking about it It's meant to do a documentary on it And that didn't happen And it was a massive thing that I was like No, and because I've been through it Because I've actually been through it

I've not come out and I've not promoted people that are offering me filler, left, right and centre. I want to talk about it. And I've ruined my face and you can see the images. Am I right in thinking there was like a specific incident just before you went on Love Island? Yeah. With someone who wasn't qualified, yeah. So it was, so anyone that I've been to before I went into the villa, apart from the first lady that ever done my lip, she was a nurse. And she put half a villa filler in my lips.

said, I'm not doing anymore. She went and had a baby, decided not to come back to it. And the reason she didn't come back to it was because it was an unregulated industry. And she was like, I don't want to be tied up in it. It's messy. And so I went to have my Botox done. He told me that he was working for the NHS and he was a nurse and life was good. Turned out he was a property developer.

What? Yeah, that was a thing. I didn't even, you couldn't check, like you just take people's word for it. Yeah. Like the girl that, the duck used to do my lips, she used to say that she was a dentist,

and she was a dentistry nurse. Turned out she worked in a fast food restaurant. Like, that's wild. Because it's a one day course. He literally did a one day course and started doing philipotox. Oh, my God. But he put two,

and it was when I was going through my auditions for Love Island. So obviously I'm like, oh my God, like I'm going to see the execs. Like, I need to look really great. And, um, I went to how my Botox done. He'd put too much Botox in my face. My whole forehead just dropped.

I had no eyelids. I literally like my eyebrows were just sunk in. Oh, I just remember waking up and I was like, what the heck have I done? I cried and cried and crying. Obviously at that point, I was like, I can't, I can't go up. I'm not going to see the execs. Lucky girl I've done my makeup, like taped my face up.

It was horrendous. But when I went into the audition and when I spoke to the execs, I just laughed about it. Like, I was like, I'm really sorry about my face. I've had too much motorx for it in. Like, don't move. Like, I'm really sorry about that. And my eyebrows are dropped.

I don't normally look like. And I think because I laughed it off, they were like, she's got something about it. Like, she is quite funny. I am quite funny. So I was, I think that's why they have me on the show. Yeah. Because I could, like, laugh at it.

But, yeah, there was nothing I could do about it. And also, no one could promise me that my face would return to normal. Fuck. That's so scary. So scary. The makeup artist said, she taped your face up. So you didn't get these tapes. and it's like on an elastic band

and it's like, it's like tape. Well, I don't know how it like, just sticky tape. She stuck it on here and stuck it on here and like taped my face up. I literally tightened it up. I need that for now. Just for all this tired stage of my life.

If I could just have it for like a year or two. Thanks. Yeah, it'll be great. Wow. It was ridiculous. I had no eyebrow arch. Oh, it was actually really sad. And I just thought to myself.

Okay, and I laughed it off and it's fine. And I got on the show and life was, but it could have been very different. If they were like, hang on, like, she looks ridiculous. Like, we're not having her on the show. And yeah, so I ended up, it was when I was driving up to London, they said the only thing you can do is like put like an electric toothbrush, like a vibration on the back.

The only thing I had, I was like, in my overnight bag, I was like, I've got a little lady toy. Like, I was driving up the motorway. I was literally, all I need is this van driver with a massive dildo on my head, like vibrate in my forehead. Like, I don't know what I can do about this, but this is what they've told me to do. Okay,

luckily it was anti-backed. But I was like, what the heck am I doing driving up to London? Luckily, I'd not automatic car. Did it work? No, I wish. I just looked like a massive idiot. But I told them that story,

and then they were like, she's fine. She's fine, come on. She's crazy. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, but I was devastated. And if it stopped me going on the show, I don't think I would have been devastated

if I didn't get on the show, too honest. I would have gone back to work. that would have been fine but i would have been like oh my god like i really have actually screwed my my future up or screwed up what i would like what i could potentially be doing because i went to some dodgy old lad down in his house to have some Botox put in my face i didn't even know what product he was using did know nothing it is it is like how unregulated it is i didn't even realize it was like a one-day course although you can i mean get everything by in that super drug now yeah one day

God. Yeah, so these people literally, you have a one-day course. And what scares me is that the people training these people on a one-day course don't even need to be medically trained. Wow. Yeah, it's like the worst pyramid scheme available. Yeah. And obviously you can earn such good money from it.

Yeah. And so people go, I'm going to do it. Like, it's so great. And now I'm seeing that a lot of people, I think, you know, eventually there will be changed. So there has been a consultation into it. So a lot of people now are buying premises or renting premises away from the house because I do think that it will come into play

that you have to be doing it from a specific location instead of in your house at your dining room. The first time, well, sorry, not the first time. No, the first time, although she was a nurse, I did get done at a diary table. But the second time, I literally went into this girl. She was going on a night out.

The night literally was getting ready for our night out, vodka in hand. And I sat at her diamond table and put my hair back and she just injected filler at me. Oh, my God. I should have at that point been like, you know what? But I was like 21, 22, which now is quite late to start getting a filler. Like a lot of people have filler and they're like 16, 17.

But that's crazy. Yeah, I should have at that point been like, you know what? Whoa. But I was like, yeah, it's fine. But it's the whole industry. Like, you know, so much of it's like that that it's kind of like you can see how it happens. And you loathe to put the blame on the individuals or the people that are choosing it because it's like it's cheap and there's pressure.

and there's beauty standards and there's a million other things and it can go right. That's the thing like all it takes is one person for it to go wrong to. I know somebody that has made two people blind paid them off

they can't say anything and that's done. With Botox. One was tear off filler as well. Oh, that one scares me. So it's... I'm not getting it now or whatever it is. Well, you'll be fine as long as you go...

I can't promise you'll be fine but there's always risks that come with anything like that. But I mean you're, if you go to something is medically trained as well, like if anything goes wrong and also they've got a lot more to lose. Like they can be struck off the register. Like, they've got

so much more to lose rather than somebody that's literally doing it in their dining room at their dining room table. Something goes wrong. They're not insured. Like, what are you going to do? Yeah. God, it's nuts, isn't it? It's a whole industry out there that is crazy and I know that there are, I

I know that more people now are talking about and it's now becoming more of a trend to get your filler dissolved and I know that I got my filler dissolve when I came out of the villa people like yeah but you look so different now I'm like well one I've grown up like it's three years like later like I have changed

but now I do have Botox put in my top lip which flips my lip up it's quite difficult to talk at times my bees and my peas and my deep they're very difficult but I don't have not had filler put in my lips since I come out the villa and I only have to have the tiniest amount put back in

but that was because my lips was so stretched and all the filler. When I had them dissolved, they were like little raisins. They were so wrinkly. They had, oh, they were awful. Really? They were terrible.

Of course, you don't actually think about that. No. But it makes sense. You'd have loose skin if they were like stretched and then they came back down. Yeah, it's like a postpartum stomach. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what that would look like.

But I've, like, yeah, it was very wrinkly. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I can't walk around like this. So I had to have, like, but I'd done that to myself. So I am going to have them dissolved Like the rest, I don't think there's anything in there now To be honest, if there is I am going to have the needle put back in

And I am going to have anything that's in there dissolved again And see if I can just go completely without filler But I don't think I'll be able to I've only got like literally like 0.5 in now So it's not like I've got a lot But you know how people that are like Oh my God, your lips are so much better now And I'm like, yeah, I know I do research now

Yeah Oh God Wow I remember remember on this show um one of the boys was talking about like a natural looking like about liking yeah yeah like natural looking women yeah and i got real angry about that you did and i but i thought that was like really justified because it's so unfair the standards that were held to yeah women are though like yeah like your people which really makes me laugh because the amount of people

that are like, oh, this is the like, you know, I like natural looking girls. And then you literally see the type of girls that they follow, the type of girls that they like their images. And you're like, something's not marrying up here, okay? Like, you say you like one thing. But also, I've come to accept that

it shouldn't be about what anyone else likes. Like, I've always said, I'm not anti-surgery. I'm not anti-fillable anti-Botox. Like, I genuinely believe if you have something that you are insecure about and you can get that fixed and feel a more confident version of yourself, you go. Like, you do what you need to do, as long as you've got the right research.

But, yeah, when that really hit nerve me. Even now, though, if somebody would say that to me, and I know that a lot of people didn't like that I got angry about it, maybe I should have dealt with it a different way. Maybe I should have been softly, softy, softy, gentle hands. But I feel like now I still would be angry by that comment. Yeah. Doesn't make me a fake, it doesn't make me a fake, it doesn't fake looking or fake girls.

I think he just put like the word, I can't. can't remember exactly what happened, but it's the word fake. And I just, I don't put fake with the way that anyone looks. I don't think you look fake. I think I associate fake with like a fake person and I don't like that being together. I don't like somebody thinking I'm a fake person or I look fake. What, because I'm insecure about something and I want to change it, what you now can tell me that I'm fake. Yeah. Well, because you realize that, you know, the thing that you were insecure about, it's probably something that society's going to be shitty about anyway. So it's like, you're like, you can't, you're just damned if you do and damned if

you don't. No, exactly. And I mean, I've always been very open about, you know, I had my breast done when I was 18, literally, I turned, I turned 18 on the Friday. I went for my first consultation on the Monday, like, but for years, like, even when I was getting dressed at PE, like, I got caught stealing chicken fillets from Primark when I was like 14, when mum had to come pick me up. Like, I've always been very insecure about my breast size. So when I decided to have that done, I was doing that for me at 18 years old. Like, I wanted to look nice in a bikini and that was, that was great for me. So, but it doesn't make me a fake person or doesn't make me fake because I went and had my breasts enlarge. No. Yeah. So I think it's got such

bad connotations as well. I just think of like a knockoff, like handbag or whatever. And it's like, yeah it's it it it's another way we use it's another description we have for women right it's just so toxic and so unfair and like you say it's not yeah yeah because it's not fake is fake is not real and you are real it's a very negative word isn't it like there's nothing nice about it you cannot use the word nice and fake or like beautiful you can't use it in the same sentence yeah so i just feel like regardless and i know that people were like oh, you shouldn't, you know, you shouldn't get the work done. That's my choice.

Yeah. And I don't want to grow old gracefully. I don't, like, I don't want to look great. But you also don't need to be insulted for your choice. Like, it's no one's right. A hundred percent. Like, even if it come from a woman, I'd be less insulted. I'd still be very insulted, but I'd be less insulted.

But from a man, I'll go away with your small penis. Like, from a man who doesn't understand and has never experienced the extent of the body. image pressures that we that we do it's yeah women are absolutely scrutinized for everything they do every aspect of their life the whole way through life regardless of how you look at it women are always knocked down um we never i've got quite a lovely community around me now and my followers are lovely but i mean women aren't known for building each other up it's only recent that we try and do that to each other we are always being teared down like regardless if that's how you bring up your children, if you choose not to have children, if you choose to, you know, work or not work,

look, we are always torn apart. And I just think, usually as well, it's by men, but in a really degrading way. And I just think, no, sorry, not having it. So I will have a go at you if you want to say that to me again. Good for you. This has been so great. So great. I loved it. So great to chat to you, Faye. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I've really enjoyed it. Good. Thank you. Should I delete that is part of the ACath Creator Network. Looking for a community that has it all, welcome to Crossings, the urban hub of West Lethbridge. At Crossings, you'll find a vibrant village

designed for living, working, and connecting. With top-notch schools, a state-of-the-art rec center, retail spaces, and parks, it's more than a neighborhood, it's a lifestyle. Enjoy NHL-sized arenas and aquatic center, an accessible playground, a 55-acre sports park, pathways, and a library with enriching programs. Learn more at crossingslethbridge.ca.ca.