Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Bleached brows at the kids table

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? The girls discuss the lies of the Kardashians, old people and Em’s ego…Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everyone and welcome back to should I delete Is it just a hollocks that hates hanging out with her friends She's dreading and by the time this episode comes out Al and I will have been away we're going away for the night together Romantic getaway for two plus all the other people that are coming And um separate rooms I must add Hallelujah oh yeah we're not having an affair But also I was like Al so she's bringing earmuffs

I'm bringing ear defenders, I'm going to put my aeroplane mode on my plane, on my phone. Do you know how, like, personally, I take this because, you know, my Alex sleets with an eye mask and ear plugs in. I'm like, I take this personally. Dave does too, actually. And with a pillow between us. Like, he puts a pillow barrier up between us. Oh, my God. What is he, like, 12?

And I, do you know what? I never get a straight answer from him when I ask him. I'm like, why? because I very much keep to my side of the bed like I turn over to the other side and I'm like I literally sleep on the edge of the bed so I don't know why

but I think he just likes like a little den feeling or he just wants to get away from me yeah I like sometimes I do like I'll just be sitting there in bed like still kind of talking to Alex you know it's like having a nice life being like you know married and together forever and like midway through the conversation

it's just the earplugs start going in like I'm like oh okay but you know what they don't fucking work because last night was that crazy thunderstorm and to be fair i think i did give him a heart attack because you know when you're like you know it's the middle of the night and a storm is happening or something's happening and you just all of your like rational brain it's just like see you and you just end up with like the complete like dregs of yourself and i was like oh my god maybe it's raining inside i was like have we ever had a storm this bad maybe it's raining through the doors so i got like

into my head i was like i need to go and check because we've got these like a juliet balcony in our room, which is the stupidest thing. I don't know why they call it that. It's just, it's not a balcony at all. It's just, I don't understand it. Do you know, are you aware of the concepts with Juliet balcony? Yeah, yeah, I don't get it either. It's not a balcony. I just think it's a stupid estate agent word for like a window with a fence on it. But like, why have they even made those? I just, I don't understand. The only time I quite appreciated it was in COVID, but I would have rather than when I actually had COVID, because I was like stuck in my room because Alex was downstairs, but I would have rather than actual balcony.

Is there, like, normal balconies just called Romeo balconies? I used to have a balcony, and I literally, it was part of the reason that we moved into the place, and I must have used it, like, twice in the three years that we were there. However, when I was in Paris, I had a balcony, and we used that a lot, but that was because we lived in the tiniest space ever, and there were, like, three of us in a one-bedroom flat, so we kind of needed that, but... But also, if you live in Paris, like, it's, like, part of the rules, It's like, it's legislation there, isn't it,

that you have to, like, sit out on your balcony with a stupid little coffee cup and smoke cigarettes. And a croissant, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I have a stupid Juliet balcony, and I just, I still, I really don't understand them. I just think it would have been so much cheaper

just to put a window in, but that's by the bye. Anyway. Anyway. It wasn't, like, it wasn't even, like, I didn't even, like, it's not even, like, that window was there when I got that. I don't know why I'm so angry about it. But anyway, it's a window not a door. You seem pressed.

Let's move on. I went to go and check. No, because I haven't even finished a stupid story. Oh, God, I've forgotten when there's a heart attack. I know. I went to the Juliet balcony to go and check to see if it was raining inside because I had the drugs of my brain. And at that point, Alex's mask, like, defense system cracked, like his defense against

me at night time. Like, I got through it as I was, like, bending over to, like, feel the, like, naked, like bending over in the dark to, like, feel the carpet. So he must have just like opened his eyes This like clap of thunder And then it's just like me on like all fours Bair ass I actually understand now why

Yeah it's making sense It's making sense the barrier And he just keeps happening actually Just keep waking him up at the moment Like with like or like I mean in my defence He fell asleep on Maloo the other day I'm like Elvis Presley or something

But he went for like a midnight wee That he sat down for because he said he was like half asleep and then something he said he actually said it happens quite a lot where like he sits down on the loo

and sort of like thoughts back to sleep and then I woke up because he'd gone to the loo being like I need the loo and then I went and stood and waited next to him but for reasons

best known to myself I didn't say anything I just stood there and waited for him to finish because I thought that was polite and then when he woke up he looked round

and I was just like standing there in the dark over him whilst he was asleep on the loo. But I think the moral of the story there was just like, don't be asleep on the loo. God, I see, I sleep so deeply. When I get to sleep, I'm in such a deep sleep.

I don't hear storms. I don't hear anything. The storm must like was so bad. And I woke up thinking, God, it must be like 4 a.m. And it was 11.15. I was like, what time did I go to bed? I hate when that happens. Okay, I have an is it just me.

Wedding advice, please. I love this. I just love wedding advice stuff. hello love the podcast and would appreciate your wisdom on this dilemma is it just me that feels very very very stressed at the thought of having a traditional slash big wedding but doesn't want to miss out on the exciting bits like bridal dress shopping i've always thought i'd wanted the traditional white wedding but the more i hear about the stress the planning and the money i'm increasingly put off my partner and i are talking about getting married and we feel more comfortable having a low-key day with a doer at a restaurant we love in our home city of Bristol.

I see a lot of people having bands, magicians, entertainment, ETC, but that isn't us. I worry people would think our day was boring or not special enough, and I also don't want to regret not planning a big event, but the anxiety I feel even thinking about this tells me it's not what I or we want. Is it selfish to be totally selfish on your wedding day and do what you want? I feel as though I've kind of answered my question here, but appreciate your thoughts and insights, as you have both planned and had weddings fairly recently. lots of love. Have whatever

the fuck you want. Literally, have whatever you want. But also, you can still, this is the best bit about it being your wedding, just pick and choose the bit that you want. Go to a restaurant like you said and just like and from your guest's point of view, as somebody that frequents

the wedding scene, that sounds great. I went to a wedding on Sunday where we didn't even watch them get married because they already got married and we just went for a picnic style spread in her mum's garden. And it was fucking great. Right.

So, like, this is my favorite thing. It's just watching how everybody does their weddings. Yeah. You do it literally whatever you want. You can do a do in, you can do a do at the restaurant and still wear the white dress you want to wear. You can do whatever you want. And that's the thing, especially with my ex, we had a lot of weddings in Germany because he was German. And they're a lot more low key over there, the weddings than they are here.

Like, it was like people would go to, like, the wedding in jeans and stuff, like jeans and trainers. yeah and I just think like and all of them we had a fantastic time at like none of that stuff matters you just do whatever you want to do and also like what do you remember once when you go to weddings like I never remember like the flowers or like the table favors or the like the table arrangements like I just don't remember that stuff I just remember like did I have a good time and there's only so many favors people want you know what I mean like like I don't know, coasters and stuff or like, yeah, there's only so many

you've got space for in your life. Like, I think as a guest, like, also, if you just do a low-key do, that's great. Do a dinner. People can come. People can go home. People don't have to fork out for a hotel. They don't have to, like, spend ages on an outfit. They don't have to spend

loads of money. Like, it's not just your money you're saving. Like, I definitely think it's not selfish at all to do more low-key wedding. But yeah, like, I think that's the whole point. really of your wedding is that it's exactly what you want and if you're just doing something that's already making you anxious and you haven't even started doing it yet then just fucking don't just don't totally because I think like some people love all to do to plan a huge wedding

and all the finishing touches and if you do then go to town and if you can like go to town and that's great like have a fantastic time but loki is just as fun oh my god do whatever you want do but I do get the pressure as well because you do see a lot on Instagram of these incredible weddings that have they have like every last detail has been thought of but you can still think of every last detail of a much smaller day yeah exactly right and actually arguably you can put more time and attention into what you're doing because it's on a smaller scale which actually is lovely you can you know there's bits that you still love like the wedding dress or like I don't know specific traditions like a first dance or like whatever you can still do all of that

yeah yeah my friend got married in a pub uh well no sorry got married at registry office and then we went to the pub one of my best friends and we had the best time the best time podcast listeners we've just had to have a little break in the podcast because um does the be real thing app whatever social media thing now it didn't need to be a break we could have we could have moved straight through I'm pretty well you interrupted me with your suddenly getting your phone up and you're doing the peace sign and I'm like what what's going on what we did what we're saying what was what's going on literally I always say that like I was like you put a fuck away it's like Kim stop taking selfies your sister's going to jail do you know what since you've been talking

about the new season of the Kardashians I've I keep thinking, I want to watch it, I want to watch it, and Dave is out tonight, and I think I'm going to try and watch it. Actually, to work out how. I haven't seen the new season yet, because I'm still on season 12. I'm watching HAU. Have you seen the new photos of Kim Kardashian that have come out today? With the bleached brows.

With the bleached brows. Yeah. First of all, who are you, Save Butler. Like, love to see it. Yeah. But also, I thought she looked like Bimini from British drag race. Let me have, I'm just like, wow. Those photos really, like, blew my mind.

I know. The bum. Bloody hell. She looks like Donatella Versace. She does look like Versace. Don't know if I said that backwards. Also, on the 6th of September, Kim Kardashian posted an Instagram post. And it's a photo of her with the bleached eyebrows in front of the American flag,

which is an odd time to be a patriot, if you ask me as a woman. But then if you just swipe to the second thing, it's a video. And it looks like the man who's holding the... The reflector thing is wearing clown shoes, and it's really tickled me. Please have a look. Wait, where is this? I've just given a very detailed... I've just drawn you a map.

I don't know. What is that? Oh, they're little like booties for the set. So yeah, so Kim Kardashian did an interview earlier this week, and she literally, it was, it is quite embarrassing. She was asked, do you think that your beauty regime and how you look is unattainable? or do you think you're like promoting unrealistic beauty standards and she said that her look is like completely attainable

she said that like she just cares I really genuinely care about looking good I probably care more than 90% of the people on this planet it's not easy when you're a mom and you're exhausted at the end of the day you're in school and I'm all of the above I do my beauty treatments late at night after everyone's in bed I'm doing laser treatments

that is commitment that is so much commitment I think she's wrong Like she says at the beginning of the interview I think it's attainable to most people And then she's saying at the end of the video After my kids have gone to bed I'm doing laser treatment

Exactly So she's got laser machines in her house Yeah Like what the fuck is that It would be like if most people tried If me and Alex tried that After we put Bua to bed It's like Alex standing with a laser pen

Just like shooting me in the forehead But like is this woman Just that out of touch with the real world do you think she's just so immersed in this this like where everything is attainable to her there like there is no limitations to what she can have do you think she's just completely out of touch so she's just like well that's normal like if you know normal people can do that too I don't know I was really shocked by this interview because I was like I get me out of touch but this is a new level of being out of touch to think that people can just like oh my kids are gone to bed now now I can

I can get my personal train around I can I can get my dermatologist around my ascetician round like come Because this is, I want, I want laser treatment to look like Kim Kardashian, but I genuinely wouldn't know where to go or what to ask for. Like, because it's so extensive. You know, it's not like she's just having like a peel every now and then. I know. It's like fucking everything. Literally everything. Literally everything. And she, and it does kill me. Like, they asked her she'd had any surgery or injectables and she said the only thing she's ever had is a little bit of Botox Absolute

I'm like I'm like you just can't and this is just outrageous it's outrageous I genuinely I would like eat both my hands like I would just like

sit here in front of you and just like eat them if that were true literally because I know the beginning of it they're talking about how like as Kim Chris is quite open about her

facelift and she's had her tini's done and then but she's not marketing her body you know what I mean she's just doing that for her so I guess there's no like shame but Kylie denies it too

you know she says she's had her lips done and that's it and it's like sweetheart you look like gorgeous but a doll yeah you just can't like I on Nadine's advice bought the Paula's choice

sits for lestic acid which has caused a purge which has caused a little breakout but apparently it's a good thing and I've read about it and I can push through but here's what I'm saying I'm spending the money

I'm listening to the expert advice and I don't look like a fucking doll I look like a person with a couple of spots so I can't work out how they genuinely think that we just believe that that's just the truth

because this is the thing like anything topical is not going to drastically change your well I mean sometimes it can get rid of acne blah but it's not going to drastically change your appearance like if you want to do that

it has to be invasive and we're not thick Kardashians we are not thick and oh I don't know anyway like we just I don't know I've spent so much money on my face and I genuinely I just mean in that like my my over the years accumulatively I will have spent however much on like my cleanser and like finding the right cleanser and then trying this product and trying this product and whatever and even now I'm like very stuck in my routine it still costs a lot of money when you compare it to for example boy Alex spends on his face

so I must I just I keep thinking about that and I'm like how much more must they like because I feel like I've got to like my peaks position with like what I can do for my face

do you know what I mean like I can't think of anything else that I could do at home to make me look any better I've spent what I have and I've got where I've got and this is what this is where I am I don't know what the next step would be you would have to be surgical

yeah and probably I mean yeah it's like you know I was considering my fake tan booth I was considering a straight hand booth not genuinely because I know that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever said in my life but I looked right so I think it's like that but on another level she'll just have like a whole room in her house dedicated to things like

laser machines and she's probably got like she's probably got at this point, I'm not even joking, she's probably got an aesthetician on retainer just like that works exclusively for her. I honestly think she might do. Yeah, 100% because it's not like she's using her own products. Like, say McKiley, like that's what, I didn't articulate what I meant to say very well,

but it's like she's saying that she is in the top 10% of people that care about their skin or like care about how they look. I believe that, but I also don't believe that the rest of the 10% looks like. like her. I think she is in a 0.0.0.0.0. Exactly. Because it's literally her, her family and maybe Gwyneth Paltrow. But like, nobody else in the 10%. Like, I wouldn't be in the 10%. I don't know enough about beauty. But I can think of people that would be in the top 10% because they

really make an effort. And they are nowhere near it. Like, because it's impossible. Also, probably what she puts out is very curated. So we actually probably don't know what she really looks like even their show, it's got such a heavy blur filter on it, hasn't it? It's got Paris filter on it. The old show did. The old show didn't. I think the latter seasons did though.

Well, they definitely do when they're in the camera bit, like in the sort of green screen. Talking to camera. Yeah. That is ridiculous. But I just think, what's the point in doing that when you're also showing us how you really look the rest of the time? Yeah. But like, I mean, if we're going to talk about this all the time,

I feel like saddest for Chloe. That whole situation is just kind of like devastating to me. I know, I know. Like her whole change in how her body looks and that has got to be surgical. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. The thing is, the thing is, is she's saying she cares more than 90 percent of the people on this planet. I suspect it's more than 99.9 percent of people on this planet. She cares about her appearance. Granted, it's part, it's a huge, but it's the biggest part of her job. But like, if you care that much and you have all you have everything available to you

why the fuck wouldn't they do surgery do you know what I mean I would I would if I cared that much and I had that much I had I had unlimited access to it then I would too so it's like we're not stupid I would look amazing anyway Kardashian rant but can I just ask a serious question how much genuinely our serious question

how much would you have to be paid Yeah. To bleach your eyebrows. Not much, because I probably, I just give it a go anyway, so probably not that much. Okay, what, okay, I'm going to reframe the question. What can I do to get you to bleach your eyebrows? Um, I don't, I have just, I just feel like I might give it a good. I might, I don't know, like 50 quid.

Oh, sold. Sold. Immediately sold. Sold. Should we do a go for me, podcast? Then we can sponsor you to bleach your eyebrows for charity. I'll do that oh my god yes you will you're a lovely person good for you okay well now you're freaking me out like I'm gonna set up the link then that's really great all that's really good of you and the charity's gonna really appreciate you're running

you're running with this stop it give me a second let me think no no no no no famously you work best but you don't think and I just famously that's not correct look at your fringe I will have a fringe and bleached eyebrows And it will be bad times. Come on, come on, come on, come on. But everything grows, right? It'll just grow out, right? 100%.

I think it'll be gone in like... Mind you, eyebrows don't grow. No, fuck that. Eyebrows don't grow. Wait, do they? Do eyebrows grow? No, they don't grow. I get my eyebrows tinted all the time

and then the tint fades. Like, my tint's like gone. Look, realistically, it's going to be a lot easy if you to tint yours and me to tint mine because look at the colour difference in us. Sorry, can we just... My eyebrows are so dark. Acknowledge this.

Eyebrows don't grow. You don't have to cut your eyebrows. Yes. When you pluck them, they grow back. So what the fuck? Okay, I have some thoughts. Alex has, my Alex, has one eyebrow hair. Yeah.

That is the longest thing. Yeah. Like, you've ever seen. And it recurs that length. So, like, I have to pluck it. And it's, like, so big. Okay. I have to pluck it.

It's really bad. But, like, that's one in however many, right? I think the others are growing longer. I think, and also, like, my dad's got really long eyebrows. Hang on. Do eyebrows grow? I think old men get like really gribly eyebrows and they have to trim them

also my eyebrows are trimmed Anu who does my eyebrows, she trims them does she? Yeah you know Anu she does your eyebrows too yeah she like rushes them upwards and then trims them

and they look great I feel there's nothing on the internet about it well there will be but my initial Google search tells me not why is no one talking about this we have to cut our hair Why don't we cut our eyebrows? Yeah, and I always think that with pubes.

I'm like, why don't they just go down to your like knees? Like, how do they know when to stop? But maybe they do if they're just left. But they don't. Oh my God, so at certain points in our body, the hair knows when to stop. Yeah, our eyelashes know when to stop. They know when to stop. How do they know when to stop?

Because our hair doesn't on our head. That doesn't know when to stop. Yeah, and like men with like moustaches, like they don't know where to stop. They have to trim them. Otherwise they get really long. And beards? Yeah. So why, what's the differentiation?

Like, on our arms, it won't grow past a certain length. But in your armpits, it would, it would just keep going, would it? Or would it stop? Like, where a man stops. I think it would just stop. I am genuine, my mind is genuinely blown. Well, everything fits a purpose, right? It serves a purpose.

So your eyebrows exist to stop things landing in your eyes. Yeah. They're like a shelf, and then your eyelashes are like, but can I just say something on the eyelash front? Like, eyelashes are there to stop you getting stuff in your eyes, except whenever I've got anything in my eyes, it's always an eyelash. Right.

So this just doesn't make an awful lot of sense to me. Yeah. But, so maybe they just don't need to be any longer. That's why they stop. Maybe it's the same with underarm hair and pubic hair. I don't know when I'll get to an age. I can say pubic without being like, who? It is a gross way, isn't it?

But, yeah. Fucking foul. Okay, I have something else for you. Okay, hit me. Is it? just me hi girls and by that

I mean the fab for the podcast the universe oh obviously I love the pod oh you know what I'm going to read all of this I'm going to read all of it Al

go on indulges we need this we both look exhausted we do we look rough literally um

earlier like one of us said we look gross and I genuinely don't know if it was like you look gross or I look gross I don't know who was being acknowledged

but we both just took it um I love the pod I love it so much that you guys talking about getting your coils removed and rediscovering your cycles has inspired me to get to know my body as well so i've ditched my long-term partner not your fault i'm like oh my god what have we done she says it's not our fault

i'm so sorry after almost 17 years it turns out my body's little shit but don't worry i still love you we've ruined this woman's life she's not her partner and like fucking made a decision that's just like completely fucked up in a woman sorry we love you but she still loves us which is remarkable and she says that's why i've turned to you and your wisdom with the following question but famous don't follow whatever we say honey do the opposite because we've got you bad places so far um is it just me or do other people feel like children the moment that they are in the same room with proper adults i am reasonably well educated i've got a degree the oh i've got the degrees to show for it oh i would call that a reasonably good education yeah

i haven't even got one uh widely read i've got a metric shit ton of books and even more on the tBR pile I can relate on that. And fairly, some say, two, opinionated, 37-year-old woman. And yet I always feel like I should be sat at the kids' table in the corner whenever I'm required to talk to somebody aged 50 or over, including family friends I've known since I was a toddler. Please tell me, I'm not the only one. Sending lots of love from Austria.

Yes, really. You're not the only one. Oh my God, no. I've become entirely inept when I'm around. And I'm always so surprised when people ask me for advice. like when somebody older than me asks me for advice I'm like oh my god and I always just I put a lot of pressure on myself

that they want like a pithy take on something do you know what I mean like I really have to like deliver the answer like I can't relax I'm always I try I tell you what I do I just try too hard when I'm with old people I have said I don't think anyone ever comes to me

for advice actually well people older than me definitely not but I feel like this what this girl's saying I feel like that with everyone, unless it's a subject I know inside out, inside and out, right? So I feel like diet culture, body stuff, like I know my stuff, like I can, I can talk till the cows can hear about it. But everything else, I really do retreat, which is great that we've got a podcast. I feel like I retreated.

All these people are asking so much advice. But do you feel like you regress when you're like, in the presence. Do you feel that you become less competent when you're around older people? No, no, it depends who? Because... It does depend who? If they're older, older, no, because I feel like we're so much, we're so much more well-versed than, like, our parents' generation in a lot, and especially, like, social issues. And so... And the pension is, like, you can outwit them. Even with, like, our parents' generation, like, all you need to do is, like, ask them to be, you.

be real and you're like, you've trounced them. Yeah. They just have a chance. Yeah. I don't know, this one's kind of throwing me off really. Like, I'm friends with a lot of my mum's friends and like I like to hang out with them.

And like when I'm with them I can like chat and chill and like, and with my mum as well. Like we have a very like matey relationship. But there are some people in my life, some of her friends that I end up that I'm

basically that I'm scared of maybe okay so maybe that they're not part of the usual crowd but there are a couple that are like slightly intimidate me and I end up getting a bit odd with them because I just feel like I'm in trouble all the time yeah do you know what I'm like there are some people

that like are like going to be parents forever like even when their kids are like 35 like their parents to their kids but then they're also parents to like other kids they're just they're just like old people maybe I don't know

I feel like you're really good at like speaking chatting shit no I like speaking about things that you

don't know everything about do you know what I mean I feel like you still have fully formed opinions on it and you're like okay to share them

yeah but I also like listening to other people like I'm interested in like so yeah I guess that helps like I suppose

Whereas I feel like I have to know everything in order to say something. Oh, I know what you mean. Old people always ask what you do, right? They always say, oh, what do you up to now? Like, what are you up to? What are you doing? And then, but we never ask old people what they do. Like, how many of my parents' friends?

I'm like, I've never asked you about your work. And so I think that's like a big part of the dynamic is it's like they're interested in you in a kind of like polite parenting way. But you've never shown the same interest back. again so you're kind of on an uneven keel which I think is why you feel like a child because you feel like you're being interrogated by them yeah but then if you like flip the script and be interested in them and their jobs then if they're retired you're a bit fucked I guess you'd have to talk what I was just thinking like what do you do I mean

I get on so well with our neighbours and they're in their 70s do you know what I'm so true like with my aunties probably the past like 10 years it like and your mom as well it becomes like apparent that they're actually like people as well with like jobs and they're like they're like they're not just and then you're like wow like my auntie my auntie lid was head midwife at um the royal in in in Liverpool which is a huge hospital so she had this huge job and like only over the past like yeah probably like 10 years I'm like fuck that is so cool like you've had an like such an amazing job and you've seen so much. But we're not encouraged as young people to ask them questions

or show an interest in their work, maybe because it's like a thought that we wouldn't understand it. I think that's actually a really big part of why you always feel like a child because actually you don't know these people in any capacity other than that they're older than you. And you don't know anything about them. In every other situation, if you go into an environment, you know what the other kids do.

You know where the other kids go to school. And I say kids even though this woman was 37. But you know what your peers are doing But we don't really show a massive amount of interest In the particularly older generation So maybe that's why And maybe we just feel like they're not that interested in us Because they're just asking out of politeness

Because they're our parents' friends So you don't really talk on any proper level But also I feel like it's quite nice to be humbled You know Like I don't mind being like I'm too scared to speak then that's fine You know I don't mind that I'm like cool

That's good Put to me in my place You know, you know me. I like to make new friends. Yeah. But I mean, like if you're talking about stuff that like you feel like you want to retreat a bit. Like I don't mind that. I'm like, you know what?

It's fun. When do you think it's too old to go on the kids table? Um, at 30. I was going to say that, but I know a 37 year old that I would still put on maybe 38. Yeah. Because I think I could still go on the kids table. I feel like I'm still a key player Yeah

Like they would choose me Yeah I think so I think so But I'm often put on adult tables I don't want to show off I think that's because I I don't know why Maybe it's because I'm an adult

Your ego my God Oh my God Oh my God I was talking to someone today I was so blessed I was talking to Katie Budenberg today about imposter syndrome And she was saying

Bless her She's been saying online as well About like feeling like feeling like sometimes, you know, people just don't want to spend time with you. Like they, you know, like you ask someone to do something and it just goes through your mind

that they maybe do they don't want to do it or they're talking to someone you think they'd rather be somewhere else. And I was a sitting tone. I was like, oh my God, I empathize massively because it sounds awful, but I just can't relate. And then I was like, oh my God, am I a real prick? Yeah, you're a real prick.

I just think I'm a treat. Am I not? I just think I'm like, if someone doesn't want to spend time with me, they'll just tell me or just not do it. Oh, no, I feel her. I hate that so much.

Literally, whenever I'm at a party and I'm speaking to someone, I'm always just thinking, this person just wants to get away from me, this person just wants to get away from me, but like they're wondering how, they're looking over my shoulder, I can tell, they think,

oh my God, it's the worst feeling. And it makes you so defensive and, like, not want to, like, make new friends because you're like, do they actually... Anyway, this is taking a turn. Is there any feeling worse? Is there any feeling worse than when you're in a social situation

and you just know you're hyper aware of the fact that you're not doing your best work? Yeah, yeah. And then you know that you're losing your crowd. Or any worse feeling that knowing that someone is genuinely looking over your shoulder. And they've gotten zero interest of being there but you can't make you can't break the

I'm sorry to say it's on a podcast at the day because if this it's this thing it's when you realize like you're halfway through a story and then you realize that the other person is not interested in your story but you can't just stop speaking because that would be so weird so you have to finish it so half-heartedly and so

disappointedly because you know that they don't give a fuck and they want to be anywhere else that's so horrible and you're like why did I start why did I start I completely get that from an but that and I panic I get in such a panic if I set off my long one

I'm like oh my god this is a risk because I've got to keep these people and what if someone comes and off as a canopy while I'm doing this the momentum's lost and then what do I finish the story

and that's the worst when you're telling a story you get interrupted and the person doesn't ask you to finish the story oh that happens to me all the fucking time

which says more about me than it does about other people I think it says that my story's a shit. But the absolute deflation and the awkwardness, because you're like, did they do it on purpose? Do we all have to go back to pretending that I never started a story or did they just anyone forget?

Horrible feeling. Horrible. Horrible. Maybe I do have a bit of impotism in that situation because I do definitely relate to that. Like, that's the worst. But when I'm on form, I just think I'm smashing this. I love that.

I love that. I would like to be like that. Maybe one day. I mean, watch this space because it might not be working. Everybody could, I mean, you'd know. Are people slagging me off behind my back? How would I know? Well, I didn't even I hear them.

Oh, no. Like you. It's probably fine. I don't know. If you start hearing rumors that I'm like a massive dick and no one wants to hang out with me, just let me know and I'll change my approach. I could never let you know that. How could I say like people think you're a dick?

I couldn't do that. Are you joking? You're a terrible friend. You wouldn't tell me. If you're being a dick, then maybe. But if people just think your personality is a bit of a dick, then no, I'm not going to do that. Because you can't change your personality.

You are who you are. But if you're acting like a dick. I disagree entirely. If you're doing something like... Look at Kim Kardashian. She has rebranded. As you said, Queen of the Rebrand, you could be anyone. Al, if this isn't working for me, I need to know,

and I will go and I will do some work on it. I will workshop this. I will try some stuff out. and I will come back, new and improved. You have to go to, like, personality school or something, wouldn't you? This is, like, the TV pilot. Like, if the reviews are bad, you do something, get the writers together, and you just pull something out, you know what I mean?

Okay, well, good to know. If it ever happens, I'll totally let you know. Yeah, you've got my fault. You have my word. Not just permission, but, like, active encouragement, please. Okay, sure. Please, yeah. I'll take great pleasure in it.

Yeah, I'll bet. You're just going to make it up. Now, you see, because now I'm getting self-conscious, because we all go into this event tomorrow and I'm already panicking. So maybe I don't think I'm, I tell you what it is. I think if I make a plan with someone, then I think I'm a treat. Then I think they want to do it because they've said yes. Right.

But when you go, like, what we're doing tomorrow, I'm just, I've just been invited by the brand. These other people have just been invited by the brand. They haven't chosen to spend time with me. I'm just there. I could be an asset or a huge, huge hindrance. Yeah, yeah. I could be, I could be the, like, it's going to be so great,

we're going to have the best time, such a bummer that M's going, but, you know, it's worth, I'll just see, I can just ignore her, it's only a day. Like, that fills me with absolute fear of death. Fear of death. I don't think you're that offensive. I don't think anyone's thinking that. Don't worry.

No. No. Well, we, no. I'll be a mess. I'll be, I'll be a mess. I'm not going to leave. That was a really mean thing to say I don't think you're that offensive

That's so horrible I didn't mean it like that But you're not an offensive person You're a nice person No one's going to be thinking that, you know I'm just a bit full on But that could be my, you know It's my best and my worst

You know, it's just this is who I am Yeah, but but yeah Do you know what? We'll let you know guys Listeners, we'll let you know I'm good at picking up energy So if I feel it We'll report back

So, yeah, maybe I'm not as confident as I think I am. I just, I think I've got very good at accepting, I think this has been a big part of my life coaching, I've been very good at accepting that if people don't want to be in a situation, I'm not forcing them to be just by virtue of being who I am. So if I say, do you want to hang out with me and you say yes, I have no reason to think that you want to do anything else. Yeah. because I can't spend my life thinking about what you might be thinking.

That's a waste of energy. It's not going to work. So I'm just going to take you at face value and what I see is what I get. If you're standing in front of me and replying to me, I'm just going to read between the lines that you are enjoying this conversation. If you're not, that's on you to go. Otherwise, I'm just going to do what I do. Yeah.

I've got very good at that. But the eve of something like tomorrow. Do you know what? I totally Because when I was like in the heyday of like beauty journalism It was like press trips all the time So I did loads and loads And at one point I thought I'm going to have to stop actively stop doing these

Because they're triggering me so much Which with a maturity that has totally disappeared But like I felt like I was just analysing so much at these things And thinking that people were trying to get away from me people were not wanting to speak to me people were like it's a like just don't put me next to her at dinner like I really had anxiety around this

I actually forgot about that because I don't really have that anymore because I think more along your lines like well whatever I don't I think I'm much more comfortable with myself now and my personality and I think I am who I am unlike you I feel like I can't really change it at this point and I also don't have the energy to change it

so but at one point I did think like I'm going to have to stop doing this because it's just really making me feel horrible. But anyway, that was sad. So anyway. At least you never have to go to an event alone again now. Yay. You've got me. We come as a duo now. We come as a package. And I'm delighted about it and I just know that you're not. I can just see that sadness in the eyes. Every time I'm delighted. Every time I'm like, I'll spend the time with you. You're like, yeah, it's really nice to get away. I'm delighted. I do it for. I do it for. for comedic effect

right we have been chatting shit for quite a long time now but good shit I enjoyed it I did too and we'll keep you posted everybody maybe I will have imposter syndrome come

Sunday but as it stands maybe I'll do live reporting from the event of how M's doing M's performance commentated oh my God no because actually yes

but also just like I'm just, I dread the moment you see like that milky sort of like fog appear in like a person's eyes as I'm speaking to when you realise that I've just lost them. They've gone. They've exited. I am now in a one man of conversation. She's killed the vibe. No.

Mortify. Mortify. No. Okay. Well, I'm going to have a sleep this night worrying about it. And I'll see you, Bright and early in Bannington tomorrow morning. I'll see you there. And thank you so much for listening, guys.

We'll see you on Tuesday. All right. No, take that back. Sorry. I totally fucked up. Sorry. We will see you on Monday. Thanks guys. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.