Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Chewing gum and curly twirlies

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? The girls discuss untrustworthy drivers, pressured friendships and getting unusual things stuck in train doors...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi. Hi. So I just went to the loo and I tried three doors before finding one that was available. Right. Is it just me that finds out really embarrassing? Do you try and open a loo door and someone's on the loo? Yes. It's the worst.

Literally the worst. And it's... I think it's worse than there's just one. because you're going to like pull slash push on the door and they go oh someone's in here which I or they as just happened to me make no noise which is almost worse like I think what do you do if someone tries to open the door that you're of the movie you're in I go oh no no sorry I make it like as loud as busy as possible it's a massive crisis yeah I think the silence is incredibly painful and I just was met with it three times I actually forgot that the last wedding we went to I went to the toilet and I actually sat down the toilet which I never normally do in public situations

but my dress was very difficult trousers down my ankle there was no lock but I was desperate and it was like yeah I don't know I just thought I could get away with it obviously couldn't man walked in while you're on the loo well I was on the loo

knickers down by my ankles it's so embarrassing I'm trying to put my lipstick on at the same point while you're on the loo yeah well I was on the loo that's hilarious I was just like me And I was like, it's actually my own fault because there's no lock of the door.

Did you just go, me? No, I didn't. I was like, no, no, no. And then I was like, sorry, sorry, there is no lock on the door. That's hilarious. Yeah, I hate it. I can't look out. It's more embarrassing when someone tries to get into your loo

or when you try and get into somebody else's. Both are bad. The worst would be if you're having, you know, when sometimes you have a jumpsuit on, oh, I've got an embarrassing story, actually. When you have a jumpsuit on and you go to the loo, it all has to come off. You're naked. Fuck, it works. Yeah.

I remember years and years and years ago I went on a press trip and we were at the airport and I was wearing a wide-legged jumpsuit this is disgusting I don't know why I'm telling everyone this is actually rank like shame on me

and I went to the toilet couldn't be asked with the fath of taking my jumpsuit off so I was like I'm just going to yank the leg right up no you fucking didn't pull it to the side

I can do this I went in with a can-do attitude and I really fully backed myself so I yanked the trousers They were wide legs, so lots of room, yanked them right up to the crotch, pulled everything to the side, and then sometimes, you know, I mainly start wing and it comes out sideways. It comes out sideways, yeah. And I just soaked my jumpsuit. I completely soaked my jumpsuit. And we were at the airport. It was before departure. And I was like, I don't know what to

fucking do. I've pissed all over myself. That's peak. That's peak laziness, but also so much effort. it like your lazy the lazy option is so much effort really yes well rather than having to take my entire jumpsuit off you just pull the leg up but you've had to pull the whole leg up yeah but it was a big floaty wide leg jumpsuit and then pull a massive amount of material to the side and pull your knickers to the side and squat over the loo because you can't sit down because you've got leg up on the other side I shouldn't have squatted yeah so you're squatting yeah with your hands full no space for balance

like if you start slipping you can't let go because you'll piss all over the fabric which you did anyway because it all came out sideways I always think it's kind of fun when a wee start sideways It's when you don't want it to But yeah obviously

But most people don't need to worry about things like that Because they just take off They're fucking jumpsies I was in a rush and I was like God Yeah anyway I had to suffer the consequences of my laziness

I walked in once My mum's at my mum's house The downstairs Lou's got a mirror or on one wall. I walked in and I was looking at the mirror which normally there's nothing

reflected in the mirror because there's no one in the bathroom and this occasion my friend was actually he's not even that close a friend it's a friend of my mum's

I don't know him great and he was having a poo oh no it wasn't great like we know we're friends enough but you just don't need to see that

no and he was like but he sort of did that like half stand thing which you definitely shouldn't be doing if your poo oh god it was just a lot and it was halfway through dinner we was having dinner at my mum's house so i just went and sat back down at the table and had to wait for him to come and sit back down at the

table so i knew that i could go to the loo but then i didn't want to go to the loo because i knew he just had a poo but then you can't be rude so you just have to go anyway and pretend he hasn't had a poo and you didn't just see him doing it oh god that's horrific it's gross i find loo's really stressful there's a cafe that i go to like most days on my morning walk and when i have to use their loot they've only got one loop and i hate when i try and get in and someone's already in there because then i just have to stand there so awkwardly and it's like oh god you know that like i to all intents and purposes tries to break in on your pee yeah i'm gonna walk into like what an invasion of privacy cloud of pee yeah and now i'm just standing out here wait like how embarrassing

it's like i also someone sent a thing on instagram yesterday it was like how embarrassing is a it's a table reservation for dinner oh that was funny yeah i'm here for my spaghetti appointment yeah i love that but i do I feel like that about weeing as well. I'm just like, oh God, how embarrassing to need to do. Kind of just struck me that we're just like, humans are just like giant waste units. Yeah. Like we constantly need to expel waste.

100%, how many times have I weeded today? We, CO2, is it CO2? Yeah. Everything. Yeah. There's got to be more, but I can't think. Skin. Hair.

Yeah. Yeah. We're actually pretty fucking gross. Yeah. We just sit and like excrete stuff. Yeah. Tears, spit, snots. Not.

Semen. Not all of us. Not all of us. Eggs? Eggs? Do we excrete them? Yeah. Do we?

Yeah. They come out when you ovulate and then... Do they? Yeah, that's when you get after ovulation, like I'm going to say the day of ovulation or the day after ovulation, I can't remember. You get like sticky white discharge. It's thicker and that's because that's the egg. That's the egg. That's the egg.

Wow. I have to say natural cycles is true. taught me a lot about my body like I didn't realize I thought ovulation was menstruation I think but you ovulate at the opposite it's like you ovulate at 6 o'clock if you menstruate at midday do you know what I mean yeah it's quite complicated super complicated yeah but then so when you're perioding it's your uterus lining yeah I like this like tracking malarkey I'm just actually like horrified by like how little about our bodies we actually know I know it's quite pathetic really, isn't it? It's so bad.

So I just have a little DM, right? So someone said, hi, Babes, love the podcast so much. I found this week's anxiety about people not wanting to talk to your parties relate so much. The last thing I went to, I noticed a girl told me she needed the toilet after the convo had ran dry. But when she walked away, she just went and spoke to someone else. What a wench! What a... What a... What a curly twirley.

I can't move. I didn't mean that. What a cruel person. What a, yeah, what a, Kurt exit she's taken. Cringing that I'm sending. I know, I have to say, she said, oh no, she says she's cringing this.

Yeah, she's cringing that I'm sending this DM, but I have to share it with you. I feel your pain. Can I just say, as somebody that's once, I've done this a couple of times and I've been super aware of it, you know when you go to go to the loo, and then when you're on the way to the loo,

somebody catches you. Yeah. And you think, fuck, I can't stand here. I did it the other night when we left our work party I said to lovely Haley I said I've got to go

I've got to go whatever to go then I had to come and get you and you were fucking living your best life so I was no getting you out of the party so I thought shit I've just said goodbye now I've come over here and it looks like I've just said I have to go because I want to get out of this conversation

so I was standing there and then I saw another guy sitting down and I was just like fuck I just want to sit down I got to wait for Al to finish being the social butterfly that she is. So I just went and sat down on the sofa and then I was so aware that I've just told this person

that I have to end our conversation because I'm leaving the event and then I've just gone and sat down and struck up a conversation the man called Lewis on the sofa. What a bitch. But I couldn't go back and be like, oh, not leaving, ha ha ha ha.

Because it was like, it's too weird. The whole thing's awkward. But I felt terrible. Do you know what? Someone came up to me at that party, right? We had like a three minute, maybe four minute, five minute, I don't know, whatever chat.

And then he just said, I know you were shit faced. He just said, I actually wasn't, you know. I was just a bit tipsy, but I just, I was very loose. And then he said to me, okay, right, what did he say? He said, right, I'm going to go now. He just said it, he just said it. And I was just like, do you know what, good on you?

Because I'd rather that than you make up some excuse, right? I should say, right, I'm going to go now, I'm nice to see you. And I was like, oh my God, I love that. No. Yeah, slightly offended, but actually not. No, it's fine because I was ready to get out of the conversation too. But also don't say, maybe we should just get more into the practice of saying, I'm going, maybe we should just be more like that guy, just be rude.

Break hearts, but just break the band-aid off, just do it quicker. I think so, because I feel like the covertness of like, I'm going to go to the toilet now, or I just need another drink or I'm just going to grab this. It's just makes you feel bad. It makes me feel bad anyway. Yeah, I know what you're doing. I don't want this person to feel awkward though because, like, that is not just you. Oh, no.

I've seen it happen to myself so many times. Yeah. It's so bleak. Also, that other person might be thinking, I've lost her. Like, she doesn't want to speak to me anymore. I'm going to go. Yeah. I better go. Yeah.

And also, if this person is a curly twirly, cruel kind of person, let him go. Let him go. Let him fucking go. Liar. Hopefully, they did really need the loo, and they did get caught up by somebody who hijacked them, and now they're going to piss themselves. Do you know what, though?

That might have happened. Because that is bad when that happens. So, I have to tell you this, right? So after we put our episode out about the spiders, you know, we're talking about cars not being impenetrable, as I once thought. No, God, no, yeah. One of my best friends, Kaz, shout out, Kaz,

she's the best, message me. But she really appreciated that. You're done like a wedding DJ in the 90s. Shout out to Cass. Shout out to Cass, you're the best. Fiat Fonda. Fiat Fonder. What's this happening?

You know, when DJ say there's a Fiat Fonda on the car park. What's a Fiat Fonda? Oh my God, whatever it is. A Fiat Honda on the car park. I don't know. What is it, Fiat 500 on the car park? A Fiat Fonda. Someone needs to move their Fiat Fonda.

I don't know. Oh my God. I was going to get so many DJing gigs off the back of this. They're going to be calling her up this like fucking Redding Festival next year. You're going to be like Wayne Linnaker's. Club in Ibiza, come and get your Fiat Fonda. Speaking of Wayne Ninnikas Club, did you see the tribute they did to the Queen?

No. It was all the girls, all the, all the dancers dressed as beef eaters, like sexy beef eaters. Oh my God. Serving shots around the place. No. In honour of Her Majesty of the Queen. That'll be you, that'll be your DJing gig next year.

Do you think? 100%. Yeah, come and get your Fiat Fonda. The fuck is that. What is it, a Fiat Honda? Honda Fiat? No, two completely different things. Theat's Italians, Hondas, Japanese. Fiat 500. There's a Fiat 500. There's Fiat Pinto. It's a few different Fiat. Spider, a few different Fiatts. I go by Toyota. I go by Toyota. That's an advert. There's a Toyota I go. Okay. Well, yeah, fine. It sponsored Hollyoaks back when I loved Hollyoics. You know what? They're not going to like, if those kind of things have to be shouted out by the DJ. They're not going to come to you.

you. No. I think one of the parking attendants will have to borrow the microphone. Yeah. I'm probably not going to get sponsored by any car makes either. Am I? No. No. No, but I think given that you can't change gear, that's probably a good thing. Less about me naming them, more about me not being able to operate them. Yeah, much more concerned about the fact that you can't fucking drive rather than that you can't name them. So, anyway, my friend, shout out to Kaz, a message me saying, Al, oh my fucking god oh um FG just listen to you talking about mice and cars

are you ready then she sent me a picture along with around 12 years ago my mum was taking my brother to school he was in the passenger seat he looks over to her driving and saw yes that is a dead mouse trapped in the window

to this day we have absolutely no idea how it got there the only thing we can think is that the night before maybe her mom had put the window up as the mouse ran out the car and she never noticed but it's what are they trapped by oh my fucking god riding its life it would have been absolutely terrible i'm going to ask her if we can share that on instagram um but how about that that is really poor little mouse

what a way to go yeah oh i've got something to follow on from that actually i've got an email to read you that follows directly on from that go on okay um i have an embarrassing story for the podcast which i still not fully recovered from i've recently started my job after to finishing uni. It's a work from home job with a day in the London office every two weeks. I finished work today and was all excited to explore London for a bit. Nice. But then when I got off the tube at Piccadilly Circus and scanned my ticket at the train station barrier thing, as I was walking out of the little plastic barrier doors, they clamped shut on my backpack as I was about to walk away. I never realised how strong those mini door flaps

oh I really like that she's calling them the mini double flaps but I was fully stuck and couldn't move because of the way I was stuck I couldn't move my arms and some random man in the queue behind me had to help wrestle me out of there I felt him tugging at my backpack to try and set me free and I could see him out of the corner of my eye but because of the position I was in

I couldn't turn my head or body to give him an appreciative thanks for helping me look so I just had to stand there for what felt like minutes facing away from him and not acknowledging him, almost as if I expected him to be wasting precious seconds of his life trying to get me out the barrier.

After being yanked, pulled and pushed by this poor stranger and holding up the queue of people behind me who were waiting to get three, I was finally set free and thanked him before bolting away. It's so embarrassing that you can't turn around to say thanks. You're just like, I'm stuck.

It's so embarrassing. Those mini flap doors, door flaps, are very strong. So strong. It's so embarrassing. I told you about that time when I went to South Ken Tube and I saw a little boy get his head stuck in the tube. Oh my God. He was fine. He was totally fine. It was just really embarrassing.

So he, I don't know what happened. I think, what I think happened was his family got on the train. He tried to get on the train. For some reason, came in the head first and the doors closed on his head. Oh my God. But then they wouldn't open again. What part of his head?

His neck. Oh my God. The head was like a tube. And his body was on the head. the platform. Now, excuse the illicit activity that I'm explaining my part in this, but it's relevant for the story. So I'm getting off the train at South Ken to lend my friend's younger sister, my driving license, so that she could go illegally clubbing. So I went, I got off the platform and I thought, yeah, bad, don't do that. And I got off the platform and I thought, oh my God, that like, what's happened? And I saw this like whole drama and all these people are like freaking

out and this mother on the chair was like oh my mother like obviously freaking out because it's like which bit she's going to like what's going to happen oh my god if they say we're going to be in trouble anyway I left I was like I can't help I'm out of here good luck I went up the stairs I didn't go over the barrier because I didn't want to pay to go out and then pay to come back in again because I'm tight so I waited for my friend sister at the barrier the mini door flaps handed my license over and then I went back down the stairs that must have been a good 10 15 minutes and when I got down there they were still there in this crisis because they just couldn't open the doors to the tube.

Em, how could you walk away from that? I just did. And then I walked back towards it again. And I kept getting, so I got back on the same tube that I'd got off, just waiting for it to go again when the child's head either got out or the body got in, whatever, came first. And yeah, and then the tube officials kept coming being like, a reminder to please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle.

It was like, well, obviously, but like, we're all in here now. it went on for feckin ages bless him and then they got him out he's totally fine but i just think like i how embarrassing because he because he was totally fine that is he must have been able to fully chat with his mom on the tune then not be able to communicate with anybody on the platform obviously everybody was trying to fix the problem is on the platform but everybody that can communicate all the mouths were on the train so like they couldn't talk to the officials and it just had like his arms and his body.

I'm just trying to think of what I'd say. Like, oh my God, I'm an idiot online. Like, oh, this is bad, isn't it? It's so embarrassing. I remember a girl getting her rock sack stuck in the tube doors and it's set off and it's absolutely terrifying. That's really scary. Yeah.

Commuter life, man. What does she do? I actually cannot remember. I have a bad story, but it worked out well. As long as it's got a happy ending. It did have a, yeah. Or even, as long as nobody dies, I'm fine. No.

I was in, when I lived in Paris. She's already said bonjour this episode I was pointed noted The tube stop The metro stop where I lived It had like a ridiculously big gap Between the platform and the train This is such an awful story actually

But it's fine because it did work out But a woman got on with her baby And something happened I don't know what But the baby fell down the gap Fucking hell That's way worse than what I thought you were going to say I don't know if it was in the

pram or not I don't know it's just there was just suddenly like I just looked up and it was obviously like mass like hysteria and like everyone's screaming oh la la la and everyone running around we're trying to find the emergency things it was fucking awful but they got the baby bad it was yeah it was absolutely fine we we hit the emergency thing yeah no it's fine and And then, yeah, and then the driver came, the driver came out and, oh, my God, it was so awful, though. Jesus Christ, that's horrendous. Because we were talking about, like, what's it called?

Intrusive thoughts. Yeah. And you have this, and I have intrusive thoughts. And actually, I didn't realize, like, that not everybody has them to the extent that I have them. But I do have those, like, terrifying things where I'm driving and I think, like, oh, what would happen? And obviously, we know my impulse control is terrible, given my past experience. And I'm just going to refer us back to the time I put my hand in the whisk.

so and then when I get the intrusive thought I get the I get really prickly tips of my fingers like it's like my body being like don't do it like the second it happens I get prickly hands but that would be that already I have that right now with a phone whenever I get to the train and there's the gap I just think imagine if I just threw my phone down there I like that low stakes yeah low stakes yeah but like I'm terrified if I had a baby or was in charge of a baby that that would be the intrusive thought like intrusive thoughts are terrifying I know I feel bad now for you know. Everybody was fine.

Everybody was fine. And that's a very cool story for the babies to tell one day. My mum dropped me. Yes. My mum literally dropped me. Jesus. That's hard. Because you'd be terrible.

I'm always terrified of dropping a kid, but like what are the chances? It's like that video that I saw on puberty the other day. It's called puberty? That Instagram account? Never said it out of that before? Yeah, puberty. Yeah. And it was that guy who proposed.

And then his child got the ring out. This is why you should never have rings and children. Like my brother dropped my age ring. like before we got engaged when Alex showed it to him. So I just don't give it to like other men or children anyway. But their child was helping the man propose. And then he knocked the ring and he was proposing on a pier. Oh, okay.

And the ring fell through the gaps into the sea. Oh, my God. Devastated. I've seen one on a waterfall. He's proposing on a waterfall. I don't propose it. And he drops it and there's just this like absolute scramble to try and get this ring and they don't get it and it's just really sad.

Yeah, you need. to propose somewhere where if you drop it same with like I mean carrying kids it's the same if you've got something valuable I mean what the options you I mean you have to just don't drop it you've got to walk on a boardwalk from time to time it's just the pressure but I get it when I'm walking over a bridge and I just think imagine if I just threw my phone over the bridge imagine if I just like threw all my stuff in yeah imagine if I just like pushed somebody in when you think about it there's actually a lot of responsibility on a human's shoulders just to not do bad things oh my God yeah not to do things

you know yeah like in my book the day the guy was like and I should have got a red flag that he was a baddie because his opening line as the character said I don't think humans are intrinsically good or bad I think like they're just um that it's just what makes a good person is just how hard they resist doing bad things so I really the writing was on the wall there yeah I really should have seen the alarm bells he was not going to turn out to be as good as what we thought um but yeah it's actually terrifying when you think about it I think about that with your driving, it's just like, we're just completely reliant on everybody else

not to fuck it up. Yeah. This whole thing, this whole life, we just need everybody else to keep adhering to the rules. And sometimes they don't. Yeah, and not like, yeah. Oh God, we're sending ourselves into a bad place. I had a friend once and he was Dutch.

I mean, he's still alive, I just don't say very much because he lives in Holland. He's still Dutch. He's still Dutch, yeah, that hasn't changed. And he always said, he's like, I always imagine, walking into a restaurant every time he goes into a restaurant

he looks for the oldest frailest nicest looking old woman that he can and he closes his eyes and he pictures walking up to her and punching a square in the face what? And then just imagining what everybody would do

that is truly fucking evil well it's actually true but he doesn't do it but it's like what would everybody do like if you just walked into a restaurant and like punched a penitent Like what would happen? What would happen?

What would happen? It would just be like unbelievable. It would just, it would outbreak I think. Everyone would, there would just be a huge, like, there would obviously be outrage. But that's it. Are we like, are we that close to the fucking edge that it takes one pensioner to just cause a riot? Do you know what I mean?

Maybe we're just hanging by a thread here. We are one punch of pensioner away from anarchy, Lord of the Flies. Yeah. And then, you know, if you just boil it down, like, just, what's the point? I don't know. Joking, let's move on. It's nuts. There's a lot.

Okay, I have another voice note. Okay, I don't know if you'll get this, but something that is just incredibly embarrassing, but very, very niche and specific, which I feel like is the vibe of this podcast, is, you know, you're like taking gum out of your mouth in a public place and you go to put it in the bin. Obviously, it's already a bit gross because, like, it's chewing gum, like, it's fine, it's in your mouth, and no one can see it but like in reality it's absolutely fucking disgusting so yeah and you're doing it on the move there's like a crowd of people behind you and I get stuck on your fingers and you're like fuck what I do now like you've tried to you know I don't think

you like wet your fingers a little bit before you take it out so doesn't get stuck but it's not worked it's just not worked now there's a man behind you and he's just watching you scraping fucking airwaves menthol and eucalyptus gum off your fingertips into an already grubby bin and this man he just wants to put his who's standing road behind you. Everyone knows what's happening. Do you acknowledge it? Absolutely humiliating. Yes, that's embarrassing. I think the trick there is to overtue it so it just gets really hard and a little ball. I think the trick is to like really violently shake your hand and your whole entire arm. No, that's got a

huge risk. Because what happens if it flicks off when you're at the other end? What happens to you just send it into a crowd? But put it far enough into the bin, but doing very aggressive. You know like how people used to do... Like you're wiping off the bin. used to do that thing where they like smack their fingers together and make a sound. You know what I'm doing, don't you? It basically sounds like that, but it's not that. It's cooler. Do that in the bin. Do you just happen to you?

What? This getting stuck to the fingers? Yeah. Does it? Because generally speaking for me, I think maybe because I chew it too much. Mine goes into like a hard ball, so I just have to, and I find that in and of itself embarrassing, because then you just, you know that like for a good, like, two or three seconds,

you're just walking holding this gum it's disgusting yeah really gross it's just like your like mouth like germs I have it is it just me anyone else but once the flavour has gone from the chewing gum I gag I start to gag I can't bear it being in my mouth that's why you also be on sticking you too you you you and our girl are just throwing it out too soon yeah I think you've got to stick with it make it lose a flavour make it let it become a real burden in your mouth something you massively just go around gagging for yeah and then you know it's time when it's really starting to ruin your fucking life that's when

you know it's time and you can just roll it into a nice little ball and then bing i actually don't chew chewing him anymore i don't know i prefer smiths you do love i find mince incredibly sinister why i don't know i just find them very sinister okay i like chewing gum okay it's more just it's more proactive i just find mince very yeah they don't just dissolve they disappear you don't have to do anything them. Exactly. I like to have to work for things. Also, I feel like chewing gum just reminds me of bad times with thinking that if I chewed enough gum, I wouldn't be hungry, which actually is counterproductive because it like increases the stomach acid. Yeah, because it gets a tummy acid that makes you hungry, so stupid. True or false? If you swallowed chewing gum, it lives on your tummy

for seven years. I actually thought that it lived in your lungs. Oh my God, no, I didn't. Why have I said that? No, I don't mean that because food doesn't go down the lungs. No, ignore that. I don't know why said that when I was little I think someone said that that it goes into your airways and your lung and it lives in your lungs chewing gum doesn't go to your lungs though no I know I'm googling if it lives in your stomach for seven years okay no if you swallow gum it's true that your body can't digestive but the gum doesn't stay in your stomach it moves relatively intact through your digestive system and is excreted in your stool okay fine so we could just see

swallowing it yeah yeah we could do we don't need to do this whole stick it out thing yeah interesting yeah It's a theory. It's something I might pursue. Yeah, okay. Good for you. If I start looking really bunged up, if I like, oh my God, imagine, imagine far or two. It'd be like bubble gum. Okay, I have something serious. Hi, all. Love the podcast and it's definitely a brighter morning when I know I have an episode waiting for me.

My, is it just me? It's about my sister-in-law. I've known her now for many years, but have always gotten the impression she doesn't like me. I can't actually put it into words why I get this feeling. It's just a sense that I get. I'm at the point now where I think no matter what, I say or do, nothing will change her opinion of me. No beef or words have ever gone down between us, and to an outsider, it would seem that we have a perfectly normal and pleasant relationship. Is it just me, or can other people sense when someone, especially females, don't like them, even if you've never done anything wrong, or is this just all in my head? Thanks, girls, keep doing it. It is not all in your head. I struggle with this because I often get the impression that people don't

like me. And when actually they probably just don't even care. So I don't know. I get the overthinking about it. But if she's not being very nice to you, what do we get the impression from that email that she's like she is happy with her on a surface level but can't really be bothered in pursuing a friendship? Yeah, I would guess and it sounds like to me, I think, I think there is something that we just have to accept that we're not going to get on with every type of woman. No. Or every type of person like not every person and this is something that was really important for me to learn in coaching and it was just like I don't like everybody so why do I want everybody to like me and I think sometimes you just have to accept that one person isn't your person and it doesn't

mean that you're a bad person or they're about person yeah it doesn't actually mean anything it's just like there are some people that I feel like that with and I've always felt like that with and I think for a long time I projected so I've got a few categories of people right like there's some people I can think of that I always felt like that weird and I realized now after a long time of like self-reflection that I projected a lot of my shit onto them like I felt kind of I felt like they were judging me for various reasons because maybe they were like prettier than me or more organized than me or more successful than me so I would project my insecurities onto them immediately and I'd think if they were standoffish or cold in any way

I would be like oh it's because of this and this and this and like I think because I felt so judged by them or because I felt so inferior to them in my head I required a lot of validation from them to prove that they didn't think that about me but of course they didn't know that I thought that they thought that about me so they weren't going to give me the validation because they didn't know that I needed it so I think that's one thing but then there's also like there are just some people and I've got like one friend and I just realized I'm just like we like we get on perfectly fine but we're just like just a person I know but it's like we're just not going to be yeah yeah and we're just a bit different and that's kind of just okay and I think there's

just so much drama that surrounds female friendship where if you don't get on it's like because you're bitchy or catty or you're jealous or whatever and there's just such a spotlight on it whereas just some men just don't get on like oh, just don't watch football, I don't know, you don't have that much. You could say to, like, Dave, like, oh, don't you get on with Tom? And he'd be like, oh, no, we don't really have much in common. And it's like, no biggie. Yeah.

But if you said it would be like, Al, you don't really seem to get on with Grace. Why is that? And then there would be this cold. I don't know. Can I get the side that she doesn't like me? And then, you know, well, she's always a bit like this when I meet her and blah, blah, la. And it's like, men can just be like, I don't know, he doesn't really, so he doesn't support my football team or whatever.

It's so true. Like, it's so true. Yeah, we just put a lot of pressure on women. I don't know if this is the right advice, but I'd say, like, try and let it go. Yeah, shit, man. Like, if she doesn't, like, she might just be a person that just doesn't, is just not interested in making new connections. She just can't really be bothered. She might be quite boring.

She might be boring. Yeah, she might just, she might have mental health stuff going on. I'm not so bad for saying that she might be awful. She might not, but she might do. And then she just might not have capacity for anyone else in her life. or capacity to, like, give you the proper, I don't know, attention that, because I get it, and it's nice to have, like, an ally within the family as well, like your sister-in-law, like, that's nice.

Like, I wish Dave had, like, sisters, because I think that would be really nice. So I get wanting to have, because I need more sisters, exactly, yeah. I always think that when I think about you. I always just think, God, it would be nice for Alex, and she just had some more sisters. Yeah, yeah, so I get it. I get that you want that, but it sounds like it's just not happening. So let her go, let her go.

Yeah. I think we focus your energy. She doesn't channel it elsewhere. She doesn't need it. Yeah. And I think like we do not to go back to like, I don't know, the big shit on like female friendships and stuff, but just because you did ask in a broader sense if like you ever get, if any of us ever get the impression that like certain females don't like us.

I think like there is just such an interesting way that we like simplify female characters or like women's interests or whatever. And it's kind of just insinuated that girls will just get on. And if they don't get on, there's always got to be some big beef or some big cat fight or they'll be jealous and they'll be fighting over a boy or like blah blah, blah, whatever.

It's such like a ridiculous way that we view that kind of friendship, in my opinion. And I just, I think it's actually really powerful to just be like, I just don't like them that much. And it's not like a huge drama. Or you don't even have to say I don't like them, but it's just like they're not my sort of person. Yeah.

And that's absolutely fine, but we never behave like that's fine. we behave like that's like earth shatteringly whole thing like if you said that to your mum about your sister-in-law your mom would probably be like oh oh your poor brother and the family and you want it's like this whole thing but actually it's just like no fine give a shit really there are so many people on this planet like the chances of us getting on with like even half of that like it just it doesn't make it of course we're not going to and there are some people that you really want to make it work with and then when you

actually think about it you just think why like yeah the amount of times in my life I've tried to make a friendship work with people that I don't actually like that much but for various reasons because I and I think you see it as like a personal affront and you see it as something that you're doing wrong if someone doesn't love you so it's like I have to make them like me because it's like a validation project yeah so you like push and push to make somebody like you and then you just think after a while and then you're spending time and you get what you want and you've got them and then you just think, I don't even like you. That was a waste of energy.

Yeah, Jesus, you're a real brain or you're whatever. This is why we weren't friends now, I remember. Yeah. So, yeah. And to this girl, like, when you let that go, I think when you let that go, you'll be like, oh, okay, it's actually fine. Yeah. Like, I don't care.

Like, put up, like, it's, I don't need that energy from her. Like, it's fine. It is what it is. And you can, it'll be quite freeing, I think. It's much easier to spend time with someone if you just completely accept the relationship you have. Yeah, and don't question, like, or, sort of, sort of read into it because all that stuff is so like time consuming and like energy zapping and just a bit painful as well because you like poke around in yourself and you're like it's

it's because of me because of this part of me or that part of me when yeah reality is she probably just isn't in the market for a new person so bye bye yeah see yeah nice yeah cool there we go smash it thank you so much for joining us on this episode of should i delete that dot com no that's your fancy voice isn't it isn't it's news presenter voice i was thinking i wanted to try and do yeah let's okay say something sexy in that voice um say something sexual sexy sexy yeah you instantly made it unsexy by saying sexual i'm now about to remove my clothes oh my god no oh okay guys stage who's like i am not going to look at this is my workplace that was my best try she's going to sue us now I think I sound quite Nigella, no?

No, I'm just going to put this in there. Microa-a-a. No? All right, whatever. But manifesting getting her on the podcast, if anyone could help, that would be cool. Nigella? Yeah. What a massive dream.

I'd love to speak to Nigella. Okay. Right, we'll manifest it. Thanks everybody for listening. Thank you so much. We'll see you on Monday. Bye. Bye.

Goodbye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.