Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Fireworks and toesies

Episode Date: August 24, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? the girls discuss pampas grass, super yachts and catherine wheels...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. While we've been sitting here, I have been sent a DM with absolutely zero context, no message. Best kind of DMs. No foreplay. Just a photo of an elderly looking dash and in Crocs. Oh, that's so cute. Look how small they are. And they're red crooks.

I don't understand how, although I did see a child in Crox yesterday. And I thought, that's cool. I like that. Crocs are a real thing now, aren't they? They are a vibe. They're a vibe. Yeah. I'm on the hype.

I'm, like, are they comfy? Is that the whole point? They are. Daisy's nodding. Daisy knows. They're obscenely comfortable. Okay. And you've got, you've got sports mode.

So if you're like lounging around the house, you have them in two-wheel drive. You don't need to use the backstrap because, you know, who are you kidding. But then when you're out and about, mad hustle a life, you know, London, crazy. So are they good to wear around the house? Like slippers? Yes. Think of a place. Beach, perfection.

Like, you can wear them into the sea. None of that awkward, oh, my feet. You've got waterproof shoes on your feet. That's quite cool. Yeah, it's cool. Actually, that's quite cool. Yeah, it's really cool. Okay, I have a very boring, is it just me, right?

I am struggling with what to wear my feet around the house. While it's warm, it's not hot, like socks have no grip. No. wearing proper slippers is too much. Like I've only got big fluffy slippers. I don't like slippers. There needs to be something. But crocs seem too much, you know?

They're not. They're not too much. I don't like slippers because I think it makes my feet too hot. They make your feet, well, yeah. But there must be like lighter ones. I don't know. I don't like it. It's like feet pros.

Have you ever worn toesies? Don't. You don't mean the ones with the baby toes stick out. I went through a phase at school of wearing toesies and I really told everyone that I liked it. and I definitely didn't like it. Sometimes you're trying to be like... Wait, what's the...

Hang on. Yeah, they're the toes... The socks wear all your toes have a separate compartment. They honestly, that sounds absolutely disgusting. I know a man that wears shoes with toes. Like, he wears shoes with toes. They knock my stomach. He wears them.

And you can't wear regular socks underneath those shoes. So you have to wear tosy socks so that you can wear toesy shoes. And he doesn't do it for irony. He does it for, he's a physiotherapist. He is one of the nicest men I know, and I can't quite see past it. It's a huge block in our friendship. That sounds really disgusting. Because I look at his face and I think nice guy.

I look at his body and I think nice guy. I look at his feet and I think... Wait, does he wear them out, out? Everywhere. He did the thing. Three Peaks, the Three Peaks of the Hags last year, Yorkshire Three Peaks, wore his Tozies shoes. I mean, I love that he just doesn't give a fuck. He's like, I will wear my Toesies. What are they called? What are they called? Well, I've just Googled Toesies and all that comes

up is like, childish noun for toes, for plural toes. Right, well, that's us, called out. Or, no, Urban Dictionary Toesies are little square toes that are small and very wiggly and can be fun to look at or feel with your hand or other toes foot gloves foot glove that's stupid you know there's nothing that annoys me more in this life than not being able to name the thing that you're thinking of so yesterday i had this with alex when i was walking and i was like oh my god we need because we got a really big vase as a wedding present like a really big one and all flowers look stupid in it because it's so big right yeah what a first world problem but anyway so i was thinking i was like there's something really specific we need for this vase and it's

It's like those flowers, no, it's not flowers. This honestly made me want to cry with frustration yesterday, trying to explain it to Alex. And the worst that is I knew that he knew what I meant, and I knew that he knew what I meant was called. And he still sat there going, wait, what? Was he withholding it? He was being an absolute prick.

That's really mean. But trying to explain this thing, and it was like, I'm going to try to explain it to you, and you're going to know exactly what I mean, with this horrifying description. but it's like they're plants but I think they're fake or dead or dried so either they're fake or like deliberately dried

and they look like they could be like feather dusters and they go like they look like they look like they could be feathers but they're big and sometimes they're dyed like pale pink or cream yes what the fuck do you start Googling to find that did you mean pampas grass right oh what you know what it's called as well yeah I have no idea what it's called and I was like And I was trying to Google, I was like plant that looks like a feather that might be dead that could be pink.

And it was killing me. And now I feel like it's the same with like, what is it called? What a foot, foot shoes called, where your toes have their own compartments? You can't Google that. It's like when you're so far off the spelling with autocorrect that it doesn't even know what you're trying to do. And it's like, oh my God, I'm trapped in my own brain. That's like when you know a song, but you don't know the lyrics.

So you can't Google the lyrics. You only know the tune. Apparently, Shazam can help you with that now, but. wouldn't be able to help me. Exactly. Depends on whether you can hold a tune or not. Honestly, I'm a prisoner to my own skull sometimes. Kim Kardashian, I've just done a quick Google

because I remember seeing, she has like tons of pamper's grass. Like her house is like full of the... She's probably changed it right now because she does this massive like redesign, redecoration doesn't she every like couple weeks or whatever, but... Pampas grass. Are you saying grass?

Is it Pampas grass? That's exactly it. Yeah, Pampas grass. Yeah, Alex was doing this yesterday and he was like, wait, what noise did you? you think it made this plant? It's like, I swear to God, I'm going to deck you, my friend. Pampas crap, pamper.

It's a stupid fucking word anyway. But yeah, that's exactly it. And that's going to look so good. That's going to look so good. Oh, my God, I absolutely love it. Yeah, so it's fake or real, depending on what you buy. Absolutely, yeah, couldn't be better. Yeah, I'm going to buy some Pampas grass and I'm going to put it in the big vase and

everything's going to be fine. It is beautiful. Although, I worry it's had its day now, but who cares, you know, who cares? Says who. Exactly. Like, how sad to just be like a plant that just exists forever. And then someone in 2022 is like, it's past it. I know.

I feel I see it so much now, but it's beautiful. Wait till someone does that with like Christmas trees. I feel they just have their day now. Yeah. Everyone's over it. Nuts. Toes. Well, what the toe shoes called again?

Toe gloves. Foot gloves. Foot gloves. I think. are properly fucking sinister aren't they? Aren't they? Sinister's the word. Like where do you even

like why? And what gets you into that? But it's the having to wear the socks to wear the shoes for me but you've got to commit so deeply and like how much longer does it take in the morning to get ready? You know I hate putting gloves on because it's two in the two in one hole

where's the thumb put it on the wrong hand. You've got to individually stick each toe into this little compartment. I like my toes touching. It brings me a sort of sense of like clammy comfort. So I actually like the idea of them in that sense, but... Maybe we've just found your house shoe. Maybe we've found your summer house shoe.

Dave will love that. I don't... I was having this conversation with Fifi. Like, I don't like anything touching. Like with my armpits, like my dress has to go right up to the armpits so my armpits don't touch. And my thighs, like something has to go in between them so they don't touch, you know? Anyway.

Interesting. Yeah. Anyway. Alex Light's like something between the thighs. I ask for that. I like my skin touching my skin. The worst thing about me is it just me? And it's actually, if you haven't noticed that I do this

and I've done really, really, really well to hide it. But one of my most satisfying and comfortable things that I do is sit like that. Yeah. You notice that I do that. Yeah, you do do that. So, listeners, I fold my top lip back on itself. It doesn't work now because I'm. I'm warm, but when I'm cold and I can feel my top lip against, like, the underside of my nose

and my cheek, it's so satisfying. I always assume it's something to do with your jaw. No, this happened before my jaw. I've always done this. It's weird. It's really weird. Like, honestly, the amount of, like, candid photos of me as a kid just sitting there, like, with my lip, like, folded over. It's always just brought me, like, a lot of, like, comfort. I also like folding my ears in, and I can, and I do this all the time, I fold my ears in, and because of some of the piercings I can hook when I wear a hoop in this I can hook it closed so I can hook my ear closed just by like pushing them in that's one of my favorite things I feel like mine are too stiff my ears to do my ears are super bending I don't want to show off but yeah like look at that just

ooh eh you're almost going to like fold it inside itself that's what I do I just fold them all in and then just like squish it in the gap there and then sometimes it's quite fun actually it's so fun and then sometimes it'll just stay there like if I've got a big enough hoop in I can get it like lodged in the log hole and then just like leave it closed. Do you know, this is unlocked for me when I, like, so when I was little, when I was in like primary school, I think, and then actually it did go into secondary school, I'd do this thing where I'd like try and fold in my bottom lip, I don't know how else to describe it.

Yeah, I'd go it like that. But it became a real thing, like a tick. I've done it. And yeah. And I did it so much that I basically like burn all the outside of my lip. That's so you. And like scabbed it up. I can't have nice things, can you?

My mom was like, we need to go to the doctors. Like there's something really wrong with that. Oh my God. I know. I was just like, it became like a tick or something. I don't know. Just. Yeah, I get it.

Like a nervous thing. My Alex put a drawing pin through his bottom lip once and pour it as a piercing. Fucking hell. Because he was cool. A drawing pin is so blunt as well. So blunt. I know. I think it's like a classroom as well.

I remember I stepped on a drawing pin that was. was like sitting upwards with my heel, like my bare heel and it went all the way in. I was like, get it out. That has gone through me. I remember a girl in the year above me. It's called stepping on a plug socket. No, no, no, no. An upside down plug socket.

No. That goes through me. That, that's trauma for me. Like when I, because I've unplugged, I've got too many electronical things next to my bed. So one of them has to be unplugged at all times. And I just have these are like intrusive. nightmares about stepping on the plug-ups I have one that's worse not for me my my friend's friend they live there from lewis you know they have that huge uh firework display parade march thing

there on whenever bonfire night is and remember remember the fifth of november which is a very weird rhyme that we were told why did we have to remember remember the fifth of november so many important dates to remember but a foiled terrorist plot doesn't really seem like one i've never understood firework night why are we going to celebrate a terrorist. No, weird. And with more explosives. Like, I just, I hate fireworks.

I fucking hate fireworks. I hate them so much. I just fucking hate them. But they were doing this March, doing this parade, and he, this guy stepped on a hot nail. Why was there a hot nail on the floor? It's to do with the fireworks or something. I don't really, really know, because it was like obviously passed out when they told this.

And it went through his shoe, through his foot, all the way through his foot. This like, I know, it's like burning hot. Oh, God. I'd probably come with a trick and not mourning warning. Well, I'd rather a hot one than a cold one. Searing hot, almost, I feel like it might almost be a bit nice in a perverse sort of way. Absolutely not. I feel like we need to give context for hating fireworks because I just think we've just dropped that truth bomb and left.

And I think a lot of people are going to be pissed off because people, like, I don't have context. I just hate them. You know, fireworks are illegally in Ireland, which makes a lot of sense to me. They should be. That's a very good law that the Irish have. So Alex, since he's moved here, it's like, oh my God, like fireworks, like so cool. You can just go and buy them in a shop. And I'm like, this is stupid that we can buy them in a shop?

Like, why is this a good thing that we can just go and buy explosives? You know, the people around the back of my house? There's a park around the back of my house. It's not that great. And they've been doing fireworks at dogs. I'm like, don't give people fireworks. It's so annoying. Like we can't be trusted.

If they're going to happen, then they should happen. I think this happens in Ireland, where there's one person in charge of the fireworks and they do a display. Yeah, it's super controlled. Yeah. But like just when it's like randomly October, at end of October, people just start letting them off in their gardens. I'm like, this is crazy. I know a guy who lost his hand to a firework. Oh, they kill people, don't they? Like, and they're bad for the environment. It's not even like a good thing. And they terrify cattle and dogs. Do you know, I, yeah. And like sometimes sheep just die. Poor dogs and cats as well. You know, sometimes after after fireworks, like they just find dead sheep because they've had heart attacks because

it's so frightened. Stupid fireworks. My ex-boyfriend was obsessed. the fireworks he'd like he even traveled somewhere to watch the firework Olympics whoa see I like daytime fireworks why we had daytime fireworks at the wedding because I think yeah like one they don't go on for as long I don't know I just think it's just less scary during the day yeah I don't know I think there's something about banging at night also for PTSD sufferers like like like like banging during the day I don't know it's like oh I said bang you know carve back fire things make bangs but at nighttime it's like and in London it's like it's like and in London it's like it's been minding your own business.

I might be a total hypocrite having a day of fireworks at the wedding but then at like two in the morning so you're just minding your business and then whee, pf! I know. And you could just be lying at bed like what the fuck was that?

Did I just get shot? Yeah, it's my like was that at my roof? Like who knows? Oh, horrible. I hate them. I'm actually surprised that more things don't go wrong with fireworks.

Like I'm surprised that like more houses don't like get hit. Yeah. Because like what's to say that you've aimed it properly upwards? Well, well, when I was in uni and we went to a little park in Manchester

and someone besides was just doing a casseroom wheel and you're supposed to pin them into the ground and so it kind of anchors the, I don't know, anyway, I have no idea they didn't pin it into the ground and it just spiraled obviously out of control and it swear it missed me by like

centimetres like that was my closest near death experience, but I don't know if it would have killed me but I'd have gone on fire I'm not sure it can't have been good it would have been horrifying but also like that would only you I know you'd have been like in the closer like doing an interview it's like a Catherine

ruined my life it was so shocking we were all running because we saw it happen in slow motion and me I was with two mates and we just we started we're like oh my god this is out of control it's coming towards as we were running and literally I nearly died yeah it would be like Alex lights sparks controversy after new campaign starts with a back Bang. Oh, God. She's wheeling out regulations. Daisy's just come back in the room.

And we have to tell her that it's been like 25 minutes and we still haven't even done one. We haven't even read any others. Do you remember when you used to make a sim have sex and it would always go like, sorry, you'd make a sim, woo-hoo. And it would have the fireworks over their bed. I was so disappointed the first time I woo-hooed and there weren't. No fireworks. Imagine the fucking trauma.

You're having sex and then just bam over your head. It's just explosives. you'd be like, fucking hell! Right. Ciz's face, she's like, end it. She's like, you twits. Okay, I've got something. Okay, got a random, is it just me?

Go on. Hi, you lovely lot. Obviously, love the podcast. Is it just me who feels like, oh no. Oh, God. What? It's not happy. It's not good.

No. And it's not true, Sender. Is it just me who feels like they don't really belong anywhere? I literally only have two friends. I'd say they were close friends, but equally I can go a week without hearing from them or getting a reply from them. I thought my cousin was as close as a sister until I was completely left out of her wedding. I never seemed to fit into any social groups and always just feel like an outsider looking in.

And I don't understand why, as I genuinely do think I'm a nice person. Same when it comes to relationships. I've been single for nearly five years and it's really getting me down. But literally no guy seems interested in me. I get no matches on dating apps and no one. interest from guys if i'm out although that's rare given the lack of people i have to go out socially with starting to feel so lonely and as i approach my 30s i feel like maybe i'm just destined to be by myself is it just me if you got this far then thank you oh i want to give you the biggest hug

oh me too ever i'm really sad to read that because i mean and i'm even sadder because i'd say it's definitely not just you like i know so many people feel lonely and it's what we talked about last week about like when you think you're closer to somebody else yeah and that was really mean of your cousin i'm so sorry that must have been so painful like i think yeah i mean you say you've got like your friends you've got two friends and sometimes you can take a week to you know like take time or they can take time to reply and i don't think that's indicative of like you i don't think that means they're not your friends i think like i'm definitely a friend that takes a long time to reply i think sometimes that can be the case in friendships but i i think you should go out if you can face it and

like go and try and make some new friends yeah like get out what do you like doing do you want to come to a hags event make some friends with some oh my gosh the hags are the nicest group of people 100% even if you don't really like exercise it's the haver goes it's a group that I run um for it's about like making exercise less scary and a bit more approachable and less intimidating and the girls in that group are the best like the Facebook group's amazing so you could find people to meet up with or like we're doing a lot of events next year. We've got a couple of finishing up this year. So you could maybe go and meet some like-minded friends.

But if you fucking hate exercise, then there's loads of other things that you can do. Like, how else do you make friends as an adorn? Yeah, well, I mean, there are great online communities as well that do spill over then into, or like can build up into real life stuff, book clubs. There's those of community events. Like, if you look at your local community,

volunteering for staff. Depends where she lives. I'd like to know where she lives. apparently is really good. BFF, yeah. I didn't think there's any shame, particularly after COVID, in saying I don't have very many friends

or I would like to make more friends. Like, I think a lot of people feel the same way. I'd like to know where this girl's base because I feel like that would help us, does she give any indication, no? No. Actually, well, but there is stuff everywhere. There's like clubs you can join.

A really good app, I think, I believe, is next door. and it's in your neighborhood like you sign up to your neighborhood and then there's like stuff you can do in there's like events and like festivals and little things and you can get like a community feel from that

so that could be a good app as well I just want you to know like from the message that you send like I've read variations of that so many times like it's something that I see in my DMs a lot I did a post at Christmas just gone

I don't if you remember but about like trying to, and it was really hard to facilitate because it's like, you don't know how to do it, but I got so many messages from people who just felt really lonely at Christmas. And one of my best friends talks about not having very many friends or like having any friends.

Like she kind of says it and whatever. And I just, I know it's like, I know it's a really common thing and it's really hard, particularly like post-COVID, the way that we work, where we end up living. And, you know, you can get, you can end up with a set and then be let down by the set or you can change and you can grow up

and then you don't want to be part of that. but then how the fuck do you make you like it's so common um so i tried to do that thing at christmas where people could just like comment with where they lived and invite people over and i think a bit of it worked but it was really hard to like you know bring it fully to fruition but i just know that like i wish we could do something because i but you're just you won't you will not be alone with that and i bet if you said it i don't know i guess on mumble bff or whatever like i think a lot of people feel the same way yeah no you're right there's no shame in it so someone one close to me actually feels, actually very similar to this girl's situation. And I do think

you just haven't found your people yet. Yeah, totally. And I think you can meet like, it's never too late. No. Like, and I think, I'm not saying that you have to have children for this to happen, but I think it's really telling when you look at when people do have children, how many new friends moms make. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, God, it's crazy that like some people end up with friends in their lives that they meet with like 35. that just like in their lives forever and it's just like and it's a kid's brought you together

but it could be anything you know I think I just use that as an example because it's a very common one but like people do make friends all like my mom makes new friends really yeah this is a really like odd thing but it's my auntie's funeral last weekend

and last week and my mom met one of her or remet I suppose like one of her one of my because of 16 years between my mom and her sister who died and she she remet like one of Rose's friends from school, from, like, primary school.

And they'd grown up and they hung out all the time, and they'd kind of met for the first time properly at the funeral. And it just so happened that this lady, who was like, yeah, Rose's best friend, just so happened that the next day she was going to be in my mum's local area. And my mum was like, oh, come over. And she ended up staying the night, and the two of them sat up and, like, drank wine all night and talked about Rose and, like, had the best night. And it's like, mum's just made this, like, new friend in this, like, extraordinary,

circumstance and this lady's in her 70s and it's like it's never too late to make new friends no never and a lot like if you're feeling this way a lot of other people are going to feel this way as well and so they will be wanting to make friends so you will find people out there 100% there's horrible people in the world like Alex who don't want to make any new friends and then there's people like me and I'm like I want new friends every single day if someone came up to me and said openly I want new friends I'd be like can you get over here like you get this room here

Like, I love a new friend. It's so weird post-COVID. I think it's really hard. And, like, yeah, your jobs are difficult. Like, people that work crazy hours. Yeah. You don't go into work as much. Mental health isn't great either.

So, like, you know, the friends that don't message you back, like, like I said, it's probably absolutely nothing to do with you. You just don't know. But, yeah, go out and try and find some friends who maybe match your expectations a bit more, I guess. Who you can just, like, chat with and, like, what's up like daily yeah and date friends like yeah just get get put your yeah but will be a friend that's literally the whole premise of it yeah i think people have made really good friends on yeah yeah yeah i think like putting your heart and i can understand after a while it can start to

feel like a bit dispiriting you know like you can feel a bit like oh well i didn't get replied to this and i didn't get to reply to this and then you can kind of like project that onto all areas of your life and think oh no one wants to date me no one wants to whatever and you can really make it about you and like make it feel like you've done something wrong but I don't think you have at all and you said in the thing you said in the email that you think you're a nice person and I think that's the loveliest thing ever I love it when people think they're nice people because if you think you're a nice person then you are a nice person yeah and that's lovely so it's definitely not anything you're doing wrong it's just circumstantial

and that's happening to a lot of people so put your heart out there oh my god yeah I want to do a meetup where everyone can just make friends I hope this girl will like let us know do a follow-up in like a few months time or something yeah if you do manage to like get out and join clubs or the apps or yeah all the hags yeah or yeah there's like park like park run while it's still summer yeah sorry i just know so many exercise based ones but i think people do make friends at those i don't know man i just but i think you're lovely and i think you're going to meet yeah you're going to meet so many light-minded people you know as well when i moved into my new house that's how i met fliss she just offered me her chair from next door and like i just made a friend like literally because she just offered

meet one of her chairs like you just make friends in the randomest of places you just have to have like your heart open to it yeah like me not like Alex I'd like to clarify that the reason I say no new friends is because I've got so many fucking sisters and it's hard to manage my life as it is okay I've got another one this is the subject of this email is flattering beyond they've said your queen level opinions are wanted I die I die Oh my god

That's so cool Taking it Hi Alex and M Of course I'm obsessed with you both And your podcast Of everything you both stand for And you've given me so much confidence And having strong opinions

About feminism Beauty standards etc All the stuff we need to have To deal with Sorry all the stuff we Can I read And all the stuff we have to deal with That email has gone straight to my head

However Oh Yeah You're good but you're not that good Okay I'm in a pickle with my job And life And would like to hear your opinions

even though I can probably guess. So I work on super yachts. I have so many questions. She says, like the reality TV show below deck. One of my favorite shows all time. That single-handly got me through my broken jaw, like, and a global pandemic. Oh, God. So I work on super yachts, like the reality TV show below deck, and it was a huge dream of

mine, and I've built up to a good job and worked really hard. However, in my current job, there has been a couple of things that have made me lose my confidence. A colleague male in his 40s has made repeated comments about my weight such as you go running not at the weight you are now though must have been thinner then and even this life jacket

would save large people like you and why are you always eating you fatty firstly how do you confront someone in this situation and how would you try not to let it affect you it's knocked me down a lot Secondly, the captain called a meeting and said girls should look more put together and wear makeup, opinions on altering your appearance because your boss says you have to. My gut feeling says this industry isn't for me, but it's tough thinking of completely walking away from something that was my dream.

Can you stick out a bad situation and make it better going forwards or just walk away? We'd love to hear your opinions. I hope you're both well and I'm looking forward to the next step. that's annoying because before you did point two I was going to say report him to the captain yeah but the captain also sounds a bit like a cock as well that was the one thing

watching not to completely like trivialise your job and say it is exactly like the reality TV show but that is one thing that you did and oddly I was looking back at my old stories from like February when my face was all fucked up and I did loads about the difference on the boats when it was Captain Sandy versus Captain Lee

and like you can really see like the misogyny in that culture it's kind of I guess kind of the same as like how people always been about like trolley dollies and yeah like air hostesses and I guess you look that's okay firstly so shit that guy's an absolute dick and if you can face like calling him out and reporting him and continuing to report him and insist that something's done there there is like from below deck I remember there is like a a committee that like oversees all the captains and everything, isn't there? Like a yachting committee or something. I don't know how far up you can take it. It's just the thing that dogs do when they've got worms and they scoot their bum across the floor. That is yachting. So it's like a

yachting committee and I just imagine a whole lot of like spaniels like scraping their arms on the ground. No, well, I don't know how far up you can take it but I would fight for it. This is your dream. This is what you love. You love doing it. You fight for it. And also, if you can face it you shouldn't have to but if you can face it change it from the inside and like do some

like campaign if that's the right word or like just try and make it better and like call it out whenever you can and also like try and get people on your side with it as well like I imagine there are other girls on the boat

who are feeling the same way about other well fatphobic and then misogynistic comments as well and yeah but then And that's easier said than done because that's really hard to have to do. And you shouldn't have to do that. You should just be able to go to your job and just work without the worry of someone

calling you fat. But you definitely shouldn't be pushed out of an industry that was your dream. And it is your dream and you've got every right to be there. And I think even if this boat isn't working out and this captain isn't working out, I don't think it's all going to be like that, right? Like maybe you could go and work under a female captain or, like I think you're well within your rights to make a complaint. But that is verbal abuse, right?

What that man is saying to her. And actually, even with the man, the boss, the captain saying they have to wear makeup, yes, like that kind of does show us their leanings. But it doesn't necessarily mean they won't take the first comments made seriously. Yeah. And it's not a re, just because they, you know, they're pushing like a misogynistic angle, it doesn't mean that you should take being bullied at your workplace because you think they might not listen.

Like they still have a duty of care to you. So you've every right to complain. And the captain still has someone to answer to, so. Yeah, 100%. And you shouldn't be made to feel like that at your job. Yeah. I'm really pissed off. Change it from the inside.

Yeah. Don't back down. Oh, and then you ask as well, like how can you not let it affect you? And again, it's really easier said than done. And it's something that Al and I are learning on the daily because I totally had a breakdown on Thursday night about all these people who don't like me,

but I'm fine and whatever. But I think reminding yourself, of like what a great person you are in your entirety and like all the things about you that are good and kind and that you're proud of and like the traits of yourself you know you're hardworking

you know your great fun you know whatever it is about yourself and it's like this person this fucking moron wants to single you down to this one tiny thing that he thinks is so important like how fucking sad like that's all he can see

That's where his perspective goes. Like there's just, there's nothing to this man. He's a moron. And that it's no reflection of you. And, you know, he thinks he's funny and he's not funny and that's sad. I think there's nothing sad than a man that thinks they're funny when they're not. So sad. So sad.

Stand up to him. Yeah, and comments like that. Or just literally know that you don't owe him anything. Like men like that just think they owe, that they're owed desirability and they think that it's every single woman's priority in life to like make themselves desirable to him but you don't want him and who would want him like nobody wants him because nobody wants to be

with somebody that treats women like that so it's like it's that thing it's a really powerful thought that I have all the time and I'm like why do I want everybody to like me when I don't like everybody? Like I think you might have to just make your peace with the fact that this guy's a massive fucking jackass you don't want to be his friend, you don't want to hang out with him

you don't want to go around his mum's house Like you just you don't want this person in your life so you don't need them to be nice to you because they're an ass so you just look at that person and be like you're a very sad and strange little loser and your opinion of me has no reflection of who I am having said that you're making this work environment

very unpleasant so I'm going to complain and hopefully get you fired report him report him immediately and I can hear you being like oh but it didn't happen that recently but you're allowed to it does not matter you're allowed to have your time to sit on it and think about what you want to do and collate everything that he's ever said to you that was discriminatory and then take it to whoever's in charge. And I just want to make a point as well

because I know that it can be kind of embarrassing, I think, people like victims of bullying sometimes. Like I've always felt very embarrassed about the things that people like troll me about, for example, because I think sometimes like saying out loud what a troll or a bully has said can be quite embarrassing. So, you know, you don't, and I really do, And I'm not, if this isn't how you feel, then amazing.

And sorry, I've put this in your head. But, like, it's something for me. Like, if somebody says something about me and I think, fuck, I don't even want to repeat that. Like, I don't want my friends to see this or hear this because, like, maybe they can all see it. Yeah. And this guy's pointed out the big elephant in the room and whatever.

But you have to remember that that's not how most people think. And, like, I'm always very embarrassed. When I read bad things about myself, people will say, you know, whatever it is about me. And I'd be so embarrassed to say it out loud because I'd think, oh my God, imagine if my friends saw this. Well, recently my friends have started seeing things people say about me and their response is always, what a fucking prick.

It's not, oh my God, yeah, I did never know who's actually before. But yeah, you are kind of like all of these things. It's not this big thing that when you say it out loud, it's going to solidify it and make it real and everybody else's head. It's still the opinion. Yeah, it's opinion of one loser. So, and I'm, yeah, I'm just saying that in case there's any,

embarrassment with coming forwards about stuff because sometimes being the victim of bullying is so unfairly embarrassing for no fucking good reason. So don't be embarrassed. You haven't done anything wrong. This person has and quite frankly they can suck a dick. And save this to listen to just before you go and report him. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then put on, yeah, put on like, like, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Kelly Clarkson will get you through. Fight song by Rachel Platton. I can't help you with this, sorry. What about Ugly by the Sugar Babes?

That's a great song, great anti-bullying message. Oh, don't make me sing it. But it's like, if I'm ugly, then so are you. Oh, that's a nice song actually. Yeah, so nice. Oh my God, love that.

Yeah, I listen to a lot of these. I really am a cliche, huh? Yeah, oh my God, oh my God, you should make a Spotify playlist. Well, I've got my Feel Good Friday playlist anyway, which people ask for all the time. That's very positive. but I could make a specific

don't be embarrassed that you're being bullied playlist to listen to. Yeah, like, yeah, because I sometimes just sit there and cry and then sometimes it just takes me putting on Kelly Clarkson and then I'm like, never mind, I'll be all right.

Cool, you're going to be fine and I'm proud of you and don't give up on your dream. Like, tell us something, but it's cool, and then when me and Al like hit like 10 million and we've got loads of money, then we'll come and rent the boat.

I would love to have someone on the podcast, right, who would like spill the secrets of yachting. Again, I just think of the Spaniels. We better wrap up. Okay. Well, thanks for listening. Thank you so much for listening. So fucking awkward.

We need to, I know. We should just pre-record a finish that we should just put at the end of every single one. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Sorry to Firework Fanatics. Thanks for listening to our Queen level opinions. That is something that we have to pretend we've never heard that. That is not something that either of our egos can take.

Yeah, don't worry. I don't think that's going to our heads any time soon. I mean, I'm going to get it on a magnet and a sweatshirt and then tattooed onto my forearm, but fine. Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening. Have a lovely weekend and we will see you on Monday. Bye. Bye.

Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS Creator Network.