Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Gooch scooch

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

In this week's IIJM, Alex and Em chat about parasocial relationships, new fears being unlocked and the lack of empathy on the internet...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome back to Shudder Delete there. I'm Alex Light. And I'm in Clarkson. How are you? I am good. I am good. The heat has eased here and I am happy. I... I... I've come to the heat. I've left you. You have. It wasn't hot enough. I'm in France, baby. How hot is it there? Hut, hut, but it's nice.

There's a breeze. Horrible. No, it's so nice. I'm really happy. It's quite hard being pregnant, sick, but I'm feeling pregnant and sick wherever I am. So I was like, might as well be warm. Does the hate not make the sickness worse, though? Surprisingly, I actually thought it would. I think, I don't think so.

I mean, maybe, but I don't know. I'm definitely feeling good for being here. I think I thrive in heat anyway, and I think my mental health is so much better for, like, just not being stuck on my sofa. do you know what I mean even though I'm still stuck in bed here like I still have to go to bed here at like 6pm but it's like that's okay because I go to bed with Arlo and it's a different bed so it's cool but it's scenery yeah yeah exactly just you know it's good to keep me on my toes good to keep my mental health on its toes it's like what you think you're depressed bam we're out of here love that for you thanks thanks so much so hit me it's Thursday should we take it back to is it just me as an embarrassing stories because we've kind of gone we've gone off track lately we're in topical yeah we've been topical we've gone topical we've been in the topics ha ha ha ha that's so good i don't get it like in the tropics the topic i don't explain my

great jokes to you it ruins them got okay okay okay i just don't yeah yeah i know no no it's ruined it forget it like just obviously burn that moving moving on swiftly um speaking of topical swiftly my turn I hate it I hate it I loved it that was iconic that was sensational thank you

I have an embarrassing story oh good not from me from someone else a listener okay oh my god new fear unlocked

yesterday I was in a yoga class where a lot of embarrassing things do tend to happen actually we were doing lots of forward folds oh I don't know what that is forward folds and downward dogs so spending a lot of time upside down

and I looked up during one of the poses and made direct eye contact with the woman's nipples. She didn't notice her boobs had come out of the top of her bra for what felt like hours. It was probably just two minutes until we stood back up. I wanted to tell her but she was far away enough from me that by doing so I would have just drawn attention to her

and made everyone else look. I was so embarrassed on her behalf and also spent the rest of the session checking my boobs to make sure they also hadn't come out. worst part was the yoga teacher also definitely saw her and didn't do anything well what do you do what do you got to leave her to it I think you've just got to leave her to it

100% I have been her I swear I think nipples are the funkiest thing and it stresses me out so much I'm like just let them be you know what I mean let them be just like out you come like there's like there's one thing

than being out intentionally and then Oh. There's another thing of them being out without you knowing. I don't know. 100%. An intentional, yeah, like if you're wearing like a little top that shows your nipples, iconic, like she's the moment, she's a feminist, we love to see it.

Yeah. If they have fallen out. Oh, bad. I know, bad. But it's like anybody part that's like, I don't know, it's the same as like, forgive me, but your flaps. like if you if you show someone your vulva it's it's a I mean it shouldn't necessarily be just this but it is a sexual it's a sexual thing to do you know what I mean here's my here's my vulva anyway

I've got headphones on and I'm away with a lot of people who can probably just hear me talking to myself go flaps anyway the flaps arguably it's harder to to accidentally show someone your flaps than it is well this is what I mean so but yeah you're flaps your flaps right but like imagine you're sitting on the beach you're sitting cross-legged in your bikini and like poop out on pops like that it goes from being a sexy body part to a mortifying body part in no time at all i had to show mine today both of them both of them yeah well that's better i think it's always better to show both than one oh a hundred percent one is awkward and embarrassing and just humiliating you know but two there's something just there's something a bit more dignifying about too there's something anatomical like the

hundred percent, like both, like, it's like that time I got mastitis and the doctor just wants to look at one boob. I'm like, don't do this. Don't single them out. There are packaged deals. It becomes so weird when it's just, you just need, you just need it in isolation. When it's fine when you really got one of that body part anyway, but when there's two, it's like, well, what, what, it's the same with testicles. Like if one testicle pops out, oh, two pop out i'm like well there's some balls one oh yeah one can't pop out because they're so attached they are they are so i think one i mean it can't a bit like i don't think it's gonna be like dying but i think like just the doop you know like like like you know those toys that we had in the

90s where you squeezed yes squeezed it and it go pop i knew instantly what you meant when you said that toy and i was like yes that's exactly what i was thinking i just did not testicle energy yes who did you who did you show your flats to and why the doctor for my ongoing issue she wants to look at my cervix again um but I couldn't see it had to bypass oh why flapped in the way sorry it's just too much flap um no I know no she just there was I don't know I just feel like it's too much to say I don't know I mean I'm very open on here but it just feels like a lot we don't have to talk about yourself I mean I'm going for the issue of bleeding so you can probably guess why she couldn't see it yeah no okay I feel like do you want to deal with this one

on your own time we'll we'll talk about it as friends and then when you're ready I'll come back to you with an answer we're getting to the bottom of it so I'll come back to you as an answer the power social relationship or the power of social dynamic genuinely is wild like it is telling all your friends or like all your acquaintances imagine like imagine genuinely like call it you everyone you went to school with being like, hey, anyway, so I've got this, like, I got my flaps out this morning in the doctors, because that's basically what we're doing. She tried to look at my service, but couldn't too much believe in. Yeah. Fab.

That's just readily available information. I love it. Mortifying. The only comfort I take is the knowledge that, like, I don't actually think many of my acquaintances nor friends listen to this podcast. So it's fine, you know. But it always makes me happy when, like, someone messages on Instagram to be like, oh, you're bleeding, like, I have this story to tell you or like check on this. I'm like, okay, that makes it feel a bit less scary. But it's when there's like silence, there's like crickets. And I've been dead vulnerable. Not vulnerable, but like I've overshared, probably overshared. And then there's crickets. Like, that's harder,

you know? I'm with you. I'm with you. I got that when I talked about my bumhole for ages. I have been incredibly relieved with feedback. Like, you're right. There was a, There was a lull where all anybody mentioned was the HG element of the episode. I was like, yeah, but what about my bum hole? You just teed me up for the next embarrassing story quite brilliantly. Oh, good, okay. What's an excellent segue. You're welcome.

I had to get in touch after listening to M's bumhole story. Brilliant. Welcome. I can fully relate with a very similar one. I had to have an ovarian cyst removed. That sounds horrible. Okay. Keyhole surgery wasn't possible, so it was done similar to a cesarian.

Oh, horrible. Oh, bless you. I was on painkillers that caused constipation as well as having the fear of pooping for the first time and busting my stitches. So it was a while before I needed to go. But oh my God, when that time finally came, it was horrendous.

The poo, oh my God, this is a horrible word. The poo was so compacted and wide that it was basically like giving birth out of my bum. I was at my parents' house recovering and at my cries from the bathroom, room. My mum knocked on the door to see if I was okay. I was in capital, not. I have been there. I was sat there in the biggest pain from the widest half-stuck poo and my very sore surgery scar. I'm stuttering because it's just all so horrible. She insisted on coming in, so I waddled to the door to

unlock it. Oh my God. Oh my God. She then insisted on, oh no. She then insisted on applying Vaseline around my bum and the half-stuck poo, then sat with me holding my hand whilst I breathed it out. Nothing compares to a mother's love. Oh my God, your mom, what a babe. Oh my God, this tops your story. They give George crosses to civilians, like stories of heroicism among civilians. If it doesn't get, it might have more heroic than this. You know, like the awards that we have, like, award ceremony that like loads of.

I feel like this is OME, MBE territory. Yeah. This is, yeah, this is like get on your knees in front of the king and having put his sword on your shoulder. What an act of bravery, wow. What a hero. But what, that is really something that's very difficult to get over when that's your mother that's had to.

And I do think, though, if she's gone that far, she might as well have tried to fish it out. Well, on that, I'm going to say something I wish I wasn't saying. When I told, when I relayed my story to my sister, like I told it to horror, disgust, mortification, like, don't look at me, our mum is ruined forever in everybody's eyes, that whole thing. Kat told me, oh, she literally, she was like, oh, did you not try the gooch-scoach? I was like, what the fuck is a gooch-scooch? What the fuck is a gooch-scoach? I mean, I know what a gooch is, but what's a scooch?

if you've got a poop that's stuck Yeah You can activate the Gooch-Scooch What? What is it? You just Well apparently you just push on the Gooch And you just sort of

Scooch the poo along from the outside Since then I've bought this up with people And they've gone Oh yeah the Gooch-Scoach, a classic I'm like, what? Sorry, we're about to go into a live Google I don't think this is something you want to Google

No, it isn't No, it's not. Whoa. Okay. Right, the gooch is the perineum, right? Yes, yes. The gooch-scoot. I'm just going to look at where that is on a woman because I am not convinced.

It's the bit between your bum hole and your, and you buy a vagina. Yeah, I just don't think I know where mine is. Okay, okay, fine. Yeah, you do. So you just press on that and then the poo comes out. Apparently so, you just scoot along. The gooch-scoach-st. I mean, that doesn't sound legit.

But the thing is. is, that's what I thought, but then I brought it up to people and they were like, yeah, that fits. Okay, okay, we need testimonials, please guys. Has anyone tried the gooch-scooch? Is it successful? Because I imagine you're probably going to be in a similar position. Well, it's shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted.

I tell you that much. I bought my laxatives. Which ones? Movacol. Okay, so they're little sachets, I put them in my orange squash, and since then, things are good. Okay. No visits back to the GP

I haven't had to have a mum look at my bum hole No Stephen I've not had to use up any stewards from their jobs Stuart, yeah I have a serious Is it just me and I feel like it's a gear change that we need to take because my God Yeah

No it's about right We've done too much on the bum hole I can't bear it it's like I just I want some dignity left It's too late Okay Hey guys I like that the bio for this is, sorry, the subject line for this is, is it just me?

It's serious. OG listener here absolutely love the podcast and each and every one of you involved. That's so sweet. Thank you. I've been sitting on this one for a while and something happened today that made me write this email, so here goes. Is it just me or is anyone else absolutely sick of how humans treat other humans online? My account is private and I do not share a lot of my life publicly. However, I have filtered my feed over the years, so I'm only following accounts for people that make me feel good and who appear to share the same values as me.

I follow a lot of women, and when I end up in the comment sections, I just feel sick, like, physically sick. I cannot fathom what gives people the right to write horrible things on a person's post. I posted on someone's photo, a well-known influencer recovering from an ED. And I said how stunning she looked in her dress, because my jaw genuinely hit the floor when I saw the post, and like the dress was genuinely made for her. Three different men commented basically calling me a liar, asking me if my lie would pass a lie detector test, write OPC penny. God forbid, anyone is not a size six, and they get abuse from random people.

it's just so unbelievable. When do people become so out of touch with reality that they think this is okay? I see it all the time. I'll see the replies you guys get online from random strangers and I honestly can't believe it's true. It makes me so sad because I know how many good people there are but it hurts me knowing that there's so many people out there like this.

So basically I'm just trying to say to you both and every other person who's visible online that I'm so sorry that this happens and that's not the world we should be living in. I hope you get more good than bad because people don't deserve this in humanity. Love to you all. What lovely email.

She's so right though. Love email. so right. Do you know what? This is like this is topical for me today because I've done a post that is like hit very firmly smack bang hit the wrong side of the internet and my account is full of horrible men. Just full of horrible horrible men. I had one guy go through posts like my post until like mid last year just commenting on anyone that showed my body saying you're fat, your fat, your fat, you're fat a.F. You're fucking fat. You're fat. I was like Go back to work, buddy.

Oh, do you not have anything better to do? All because I made a post about Olympians and like showing different, like showing different shapes and sizes and how that, you know, they can be considered fit and healthy too. They just, I don't know, people, people especially men, I don't know if these posts, because you've had it loads as well

where we've hit the wrong side of the internet. I don't know if this comes from like a Facebook group where they all gather or like a forum online where they like they post a link to it and they're like go go go go well that does happen there are Reddit forums that are Facebook pages like we do know that happens but I don't know if that's the majority you know like I think that's when we get like really big you kind of know when you've got one of those but like yeah I think the comments that this lady's talking about it's like that's just like becoming like the insidious nature of the internet isn't it it's just like

It's just people's instinct now is to just be horrific. Yeah, I know. And I don't understand it. With zero accountability. That's the thing. Yeah, because that person that's just done that to you, like I'm guessing it was during working hours. Like, it's Tuesday.

We're recording us on a Tuesday. And his account is private, so that's it. I can't know anything about him. No. This man that's like randomly, like, nothing. There's no accountability, nothing. Yeah, that guy that contacted me. and you know that kept sending me all those messages and I wrong the police and like the police were

really nice but nothing came of it because they they like sorry we just we literally can't Instagram will not hand over this guy's details so that's just that it's like okay good see that is really terrible on meta's behalf like they for all that they claim to care about bullying and online bullying and trolling like they they obviously don't otherwise they would I mean for example as that where you're being threatened like the least they can do is hand over this person's details I know but then it's freedom of speech freedom of information GDPR like the laws here are so messy and obviously like we can't I mean like

talking about this now like can't help but see the reality of like how ugly the last week has been in terms of like people taking this offline and it's like it's really frightening to see how if you're not in the UK I'm sure you've seen in the news that there have been riots across the UK stemming from so much misinformation spread online and it's so fascinating and terrifying how and riots have always happened there's always been unise there's always been racism there's always been like cultural anger and hatred and this horrendousness you know going back we can't say it's like all thanks to social media or else we've got like unfortunately like it's

you know the last century of horrific atrocities to contend with we can't blame it all on the internet but this the last two weeks particularly it's like those people that we keep telling ourselves you and i keep telling ourselves everyone online keeps sitting ourselves that people aren't like this in real life they don't they wouldn't do this they wouldn't say it to your face they wouldn't there they go like this is what i keep thinking but then and then it's been so haven't you found it strange to and like terrifying to go from like seeing this kind of play out online and yes believing that these are people who if like confronted in real life would be like no no no that's not me like they they don't they don't claim it they don't own it and then like watching this play

out in person in real life with all these people like coming together and like saying like having these beliefs like with their chests and being proud of it and knowing that like the rest of world is going to see them but feeling so like so solid in seeing these beliefs. I don't know if they do want the rest of the world to see them though because they're wearing these masks and they're wearing balaclavas and like that's the thing I always think when I see them you know I keep seeing like footage of these guys in like union jack masks basically and it's like you're doing that because hopefully your boss would be like but you know we're firing you for being a fucking monster.

but so they have to hide their identity because they know on some level what they're doing is wrong but it you're right it's just giving so much like I don't know like gravitas to it it's like and I and I you know the the the protests that are happening now are racist it's it's racism that's all it is totally in the protest sorry they're riots um but it's so like depressing depressing and interesting that it began under the guise of like we need to protect our women and protect our girls because a horrible

alterality happened and they go out and they tackle up in their head a problem using the problem which is male violence and it's such a it's such a frustrating thing

I've seen a lot of women online saying that this is not in my name like not in my name this isn't you're not protecting anybody you're just perpetuating a really frightening thing and that is male violence which is now online offline it's insidious it's horrific yeah and harming so so many people like it's just it's absolutely horrendous it's just it's terrifying like i don't understand where it's going to go from here i have i have no idea i can't well boy alex keeps saying this to me he's like i don't know if it's like is it that much worse are people genuinely harboring these opinions or

Or are we just reading about it more? Because the press is so divisive. And like the click, you know, we're in like such a clickbait era. We're in the like polarization era. Like, is it? Like it's really, I mean, I keep saying to him, I think it is worth. Like reform had four million votes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It feels like, it feels like those people are bandying together now more than ever. Like it feels like they're finding each other and like. And the justification. is intensifying for them. Right, and obviously the safety in numbers. And then, like, their, I don't know, their blatantness is, like, seems to be just, like, growing and getting worse. Well, it becomes more mainstream.

You know, like, this stuff, there would have been a time where you and I would have received a really aggressive comment online, and you could have really embarrassed a person by taking it to their mum or their girlfriend or their boss, or at least threatening to it. Whereas now it's, like, people are genuinely saying this stuff with their chests. And I've noticed this over the last. few years, like you see that more and more with like Megan Markle, for example, there are some

people that we universally get together and we just deem it's absolutely acceptable to tear the shit out of. And we speak about them in a way that we never would have done publicly because it would have been completely out of order, embarrassing, bad manners, like abuse. We just wouldn't have done it. But they, we've made like some public allowances for certain things. And every time some, I mean, the political landscapes gets more polarized. I feel like there. barometer moves a little bit and it changes and it changes and what we get used to like we get so much more used to stuff and when you start getting used to stuff you allow more because we're less shocked by it which is so depressing um totally yeah like yeah it's like desensitization for sure

100% yeah and like I don't I'm scared by these riots because it feels like it just it it feels like it's being taken like a step up it's being it's being it's being like it's genuinely horrific like I feel so sick and so like genuinely to my soul ashamed and it's something that I think like I have to explain this to like you know I talk to a lot of like older people who are like are you not you know you should be patriotic and I think there's so many people of our generation and younger who really struggle to be patriotic and it's like of course we struggle we are learning all the time about so much of colonialism and how entrenched in atrocity that was and cruelty and abuse of power and yeah like okay you know you can people the British Empire did good stuff and there's that and whatever people and we've got the queen and Paddington Bear and like you know people and James Bond and like there's a lot people want us to be patriotic for which I do understand to a degree that you want to be proud

of where you're from but then the people you know I know they're not the EDL anymore but these people are doing what they're doing under the guise of patriotism and it's like how can I be proud of that how like and I just want to scream you shared the post today that's just like literally the only thing that sets you apart from a refugee is luck I know I just don't understand the entitlement and that's what I know that's the thing I find maybe the ugliest is the entitlement yeah it's like you were just really lucky that you were born here I know that's it and imagine if they had any if they even had like the tiniest bit of experience with them or anyone around them being in such a situation like their minds would change completely and that's a really sad thing it's just like

there's a total lack of empathy well do you think the internet is devoiding us of empathy yeah and i also just don't think they care to even try i just don't think they care to like try and employ any i just don't think they care i think that holiday in in rotherham to set it on fire and barricade people into it you are genuinely devoid of empathy to such a degree there and i don't know if these people if if people if there have always throughout history been been pockets of people devoid of empathy and genuinely misguided in their belief and i like obviously you'd cite like germany in the 30s and 40s and you know getting swept up by hitler and everything and then you know like looking at populist and very right

white-wing governments across the world, like, you know, this has always happened, but I do wonder if generally speaking, we are being stripped of empathy to a higher degree because of the internet, like this lady said in her original email. Yeah, 100%, 100%. But this is a thing as well. Like, I just, I feel like people don't want people, like, who are obsessed with wokeness or obsessed with like trying to you know contest wokeness like they hate empathy they despise it they despise seeing it in other people because that's really all that wokeness is like when you boil it down it's just like having empathy for other people and like putting yourself in a situation that isn't yours and like having compassion for that and they just despise it for some reason it makes them

angry and it like riles them up yeah and i think people yeah they we're very intolerant to that you're Right. And it's like, I think it's, you can kind of see murmurings of this coming with how people reacted to the, the first people who opened up about mental health and like the abuse that they've had publicly. And the abuse that, like, Simone Biles, we've obviously talked a lot about her, like the abuse that she had. If you look at like Matt Haig, he still gets so much abuse. Like, Brianie Gordon's always had it. It's something that's been leveled at Prince Harry a lot. Like, there's something that's, really like really fundamentally wrong that like someone can stand up in front of you and say I'm not well and we can go fucking weak piece of shit yeah yeah go kill yourself oh good attention seeker yeah yeah absolutely wild and like that I just don't understand like I don't understand if maybe they maybe people are just they've got this scarcity idea that maybe they haven't been loved enough and they feel that if somebody else is asking for love or support that there's going to be less for them

and that's what it is at the bottom and that's what it is at the base but I don't know I don't God I'd love to touch with a psychologist about like what the internet's doing yeah possibly that and then also the fact that it's just it's highlighting what they have never been able

to do and are still unable to do which is be honest about their or like get help for their own mental health I think that's got to be what a lot of it stems from but that guy who's come onto your post and said like fat fat as fat like why why is it because he's genuinely frightened that you don't need his validation anymore that a woman doesn't need his validation he feels invalidated as a man therefore like he

feels like his he feels like his role was to be put here to validate women and choose women and he always had the power over women and now these women are like powerful in themselves and like damn it they've they've they've got bigger bodies than they should and they've changed this and they seem to be fine without me and like so i've got to bring her back down is that it yeah it's got to be it's got to be like how dare she i i i don't know i think it would be really good i think you're right it would be it would be good to talk to a psychologist it would be good to talk to someone who was like a reformed troll you know i would love that but i would i think trolling i think trolling and this like freedom of expression are different things like you've got those people

who sort of like really like troll in the like we're going to destroy this one singular person this is how we're going to do it by like character assassinating all parts of them but then you've got these other things which are like these men who literally it's like they wake up in the morning they pick up their gun like whoever comes in front of them like bam bam bam bam bam bam and then tomorrow bam bam bam bam bam and it's like i don't know i always thought trolling felt like like what we've experienced or what like we what you kind of see in this like character assassination that happens over a level period of time where we universally decide we don't like a celebrity anymore

so they're going to be consistently trolled, they're going to be consistently brought down, they're going to be consistently judged and critiqued until they're nothing left anymore. Whereas these, this new breed of it, it's just like, I'm angry at you, I'm angry at you, I'm angry at you, I'm yelling at you, I'm sure, I'm cross with you today. Like, fuck you, you're fat, fuck this, not my country, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, are you all right? What is going on? what is going on.

It's horrible. Sorry, why do we do this as a job? Why are we on the internet? Why are we online? Fucking awful. Yeah, someone sent me a message because I wrote for the Sunday Times about HG this week

and I put up the bio, I'm sorry, the caption on my Instagram post about it and I was like, I'm really nervous to share this with you guys because, like, obviously the Daily Mail were horrible to me, but I think there's power and vulnerability, so I'm sharing it. And someone just controlled,

like someone replied, like commented being like, you can't like get out the public eye you can't you clearly can't handle it if you can't handle like if you need to control how people perceive you i was like i'm not asking to control how people perceive me i'm just letting you know that it's terrifying in this day and age to be perceived and that's that fuck off come on but it's but people we've got to this like we have to comment on every single element of every single thing everybody says and we've got to be writer than they are but this fascinates me because like

because I find this in myself as well, and it really intrigues me why I feel like this, not in a nasty way, but just like someone put a menu, and it was like ham and cheese sandwich, tuna sandwich, like, I don't know, five different types of sandwich.

And then the creator wrote, like, which sandwich would you eat? And it was like, my whole body was compelled to like, right, my thing, like what I was going to eat. But then I was like, why am I doing it?

You're having an egg mayo. You're having an egg mayo. Of course I was having egg mayo. But I was like, I was like, this is like, is really interesting because this creator doesn't give a fuck what sandwich I would eat out of this menu. Like, why do I feel compelled with my entire? It was like my, it was like my fingers would just, my thumbs were just going for it before I could. I was like, I need to tell them.

And I was like, but why? I don't know. It's so weird. But then I was like, does this, is this like, we just feel like we need to like insert ourselves? I don't know. We feel like we need to be heard or like, I don't know. It's weird. No, you're so right. I do it. I've had to, what I now find myself doing very regularly is writing comments in my flash of anger because I've realized there's a difference between me and you and I've only learned it recently which is interesting because we've been friends for really long time. I've learned that when something happens, like when something happens to annoy us, like us together, I get initially really angry and then I just really reactive, not angry necessarily. I'll just be really reactive and I'll be really reactive and I'll

and then I'm like calm. Like I'll slowly just like get over it. And like within three days it's like Poof, absolutely never happened, whereas you go on a slow burner the other way. So it's like, by day three, I'm over it and you're up. Do you think? Because I think I'm quite reactive. No, I think you're so much more leveled than I am. I've been really trying to channel it more. Because you think more, you're quite impulsive. But when it comes to things, you think and you keep, you've said it a few times over the last like few weeks. You're like, yeah, I'm just thinking about a response to this. And I'm like, wow, that's grown up. That's what I have to do. I don't think. but you know what I will say that that is not my in my nature my nature is to react a hundred

percent I'm really proud of you because you I've been really trying to learn from you I'm like no no you're being really good you're like taking time like let's think I'm like what do you mean let's think so I've been trying to do it online now I think that's Dave because Dave's like just give it a second and I know that inevitably when I do give it a second it's painful for me to give it a second because I want with with every fibre of my being I want to reply straight away but I know that if I do give a second, I'm like, oh, that actually that person can, like, that doesn't matter. They can fuck off. It doesn't really, it really doesn't impact my life at all. Like, and, and, yeah, but this is what I think they should be teaching in schools. Yeah. Like, genuinely, I think we need to learn how to handle our feelings because we are being put on the internet in flight or flight mode all the time. We're being asked difficult questions and we're being challenged all the time by the content that we see. It's challenging our point of view. It's challenging everything we think we know about the world around us is being.

challenged and it's really hard for people who have been taught that their opinion matters and that they should fight for the right thing and that they that they want everybody to agree with them it's really hard then to sit on your hands and just let other people be wrong whether it be about you or about anything else it's so hard yeah but i think that's what we have to learn like i need to learn it and i've only learned it by doing this job and i can't tell you the amount of messages I've written out and I'm like, blah, blah, and then I'm like, and delete the app, delete the app, delete my phone. Yeah, yeah, no, I didn't send it.

Like, I will write it and then just not send it. And I feel so much more relaxed for having not send it, because otherwise I spend the rest of the fucking day, like, oh, they replied, like I'm all jacked up on adrenaline. It's definitely not good for me. Jack's, some of Jack's teachings need to be on the curriculum, definitely. A hundred percent. That's it. I think we've learned so much from her.

Yeah, and I think people, like, we aren't, when we, when we grow up, like, the way we're taught to hang out with other kids in the playground and the way we're talked to talk to the people around us is very singular. And generally speaking, you're not going to be that challenged by the people in your life. You're not going to be that challenged by your history teacher or by that girl in the playground or by, like, the person in the corner shop, like, day to day, you're not going to be challenged in the way that you are on the internet. And I think what we cannot handle is that challenge. And that, like, yeah. We feel like, we just do. We go into like fight or flight and we're like, and then we react. It's like, it's cortisol spike. And then we've got to think back and think, oh, that was, I don't know if I needed to do that. Like that guy who wrote always like,

your fat, your fat, your fat, your fat, you're fat, you're fat, you're fat, fuck, like, he's probably had a moment in the last 12 hours going, that might have been an overreaction. I wonder, I would love to know, I would honestly love to know. I would love to be able to interview him or someone like him. I would love it. It would be fascinating. Yeah, honestly, guys, if you have ever, genuinely,

if you've ever been, if you've ever trolled, and I hate the word, but if you've ever found yourself sharing negative opinions or comments online, and you now look back and think, oops, we would love to talk to you and we can do it 100% anonymously and actually not particularly judged. Like, we really, I don't want, we, I don't think either of us would want to judge you because I think this is how, yeah, we just need to understand it. Yeah, it would be. really fascinating 100% anonymous you could even be anonymous on the call with us 100% yeah you didn't even

just tell us your name I'm finding it harder like I mean it's I don't know like it's so easy to be angry at the people that are like horrible to us and I'm not including the the rioters like we're on specific on internet like stuff targeted at us when people are horrible to me now I just think like I'm not even angry with you I'm more worried about you just like oh yeah yeah yeah what is this indicative of inside of you because that's all it guaranteed that's all like that's what it comes down to every time but it would be cool to like come down to what it what it actually is like boil that down yeah how that happens i think it would be cool to read our listeners opinions on this like if anyone wants to send in emails or dms just love to hear what you have to

think about this because i think it's such a complicated yeah how do you cope with the challenge how do you quote when you are challenged by something that you see like what is your instinct have you ever gone with it or against it like yeah because yeah I think that's really interesting because we've got it as you know we we we take things fucking personally because we're we're who it's targeted at a lot of the time but if you're just consuming content does it feel different yeah let us know so so fascinating fascinating we've got a wrap up but guys we're going to see you on Monday we've got an interview that we're really excited about. Actually, it wasn't even an interview. It was just a chat. It was just

a great chat. That like carried on for like an hour after we stopped recording. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I gave her a lift to the station. She was still in the cafe after we left the studio. Yeah. And then we were walking down the street and I was like, ah, hop in the car. Come in me. So we could just keep chatting for even longer. Oh, she's brilliant. I was with her for hours. Oh, she's the best. All right She, oh, who is it? You'll have to come back on Monday to find out. All right, guys, love you to bits. Thank you so much, and we will see you on Monday.

Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.