Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: "Grating your fingings"

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

On this week's IIJM, the girls explore more of your intrusive thoughts, the benefits of screaming and Em's lack of impulse control...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to should I delete that. I'm Alex Light. And I'm in Glartson. My microphone was really far away. Sorry, hello. Sorry, we just, we lost them for a minute because she's... The light. I look good today.

She looks good today. I look good. But you know what's more important than looking good? I feel good. I feel good. I've been working on my face. I have my forio bear thing. Oh, yeah.

I'm not supposed to use it. I don't think. Why not? Because the website says that after my jaw surgery, I definitely shouldn't be using it. It gives me tiny little bits of electrocutions, which I actually really like. So, you know, horses for courses, it's my face. I'm going to do what I want. I wasn't allowed to tell you that I used it when I worked with them because they were like,

don't tell them that now I'm not working with them. So I'm going to tell you, I love it. I use it all the time. Your face is still holding up, so we're good. It's probably wild, the screws have come. actually. Yeah, your thing's sticking out all over the place. Oh no.

I've just had a, like, it's all just come crashing down a bit. Anyway, I use it. I use it to like go along my jawline, my cheek, like, and I used it before the wedding. I think I've told you this before and it made me feel so snatched and looked so snatched. Yeah? Like, yeah, it gives you like a little mini face if you do it regularly.

Anyway, I'm back on it. And I feel like I can see the difference in my face. You're not really good. I agree. Your makeup looks really good. Thank you. But I think it's because the palette's better because I've just been, I just had a bit more time to just,

Yeah. I've just been prioritising trying to make myself feel better. So it's the hourglass, the ambient palette. Oh yeah, I'm using the phone. Yeah, that's brand new. I just got the, yeah, the hourglass. It was really nice. Yeah, like bronze.

Glowy. Yeah, I don't, I've never used, I've never had a palette like that before. I've never had a face palette before. It's really nice. Because I couldn't see the point and I didn't really know what they did. And then, I don't know, I saw someone, I saw someone on the internet using it. And I was like, fuck it. I'm going to get one.

And now I feel like I look good. Your skin looks great. Yeah, it's good. I'm using the R. Arbyan, what's that, no, what's that brand called? Aborium. Aborian. Oh, the CC cream. Yes, CC cream. It's so good, isn't it? Yeah, so it comes out the tube and it's white.

Yeah, and you're like, whoa. Yeah, what? And then you put it on your face and it matches your skin tone. Yeah. It's unbelievable. Is that what you got on now? Yeah. It's really, really nice. Isn't it? Yeah.

So glowing. So glowy. Yeah, it's been really good for me because I don't need so much coverage now I'm less spotty. So that's good. Love that. Oh, yeah, that spot's gone. Fuck off. Yeah, the spot's gone. Jesus. Well, I do not look glowy.

I disagree. And I just said, I think your hair's got so long. It's growing crazy amounts. Yeah, look at you go. Yeah, but only for a few more weeks. I think it's all going to drop out of it. I can't confirm we'll deny that. My sister's got like, she had the baby exactly the same time as you.

And she's got like a fringe that only covers like half her forehead. Is she losing her hair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, bless her. Completely. I lost all my, mine all broke off during pregnancy. and thank fucking Christ I didn't lose any more

after the baby was born because I'd have looked like Mr. Potato Head I wouldn't have had anything left because your iron right it was so low but but since I haven't I haven't had any postpartum hair loss

yeah I'm not no no okay I just had so it doesn't happen for everyone so you might be fine I hope so yeah you might be absolutely fine because I was fine yeah I lost a lot when I was pregnant

but I think that's because of my iron so I didn't think it was anything to do with pregnancy okay well hopefully I mean my nails aren't any thicker and better, like, at all. Fuckers. I know. Intrusive thoughts.

Oh, yeah, part two. Part two. Because we managed to do, I think, like, two or three in the last episode. Yeah, because we got the gigs. Yeah. Okay. A lot of, there's a lot of, what if I just ram into this wall when I'm driving,

the urge to just swerve the steering wheel for no reason. Just don't look at it. Don't look at it. We've done this. Yeah, we've ticked this one off. Yeah, yeah, what wall? Doesn't exist. No walls.

No such thing as a fucking wall. You know that thing where you, oh my God, you know, that trick you can do your eyes. If you stare at one thing, if you, if you stare at something straight ahead of you, eventually the periphery will just melt away. I don't believe you. If you stare at something really, like if I stare at this microphone really intensely for a while, then eventually the peripheral will just go. Okay, we go. We've got time. Let's move on. Let's move on. I don't want to put this to the test. I've got plenty of time. No, I've done enough of this. Stupidity. Right. Every time I walk over a bridge I just want to throw my phone off of it yes every time and I every time I cross

millennium bridge when we film sometimes one of our studios is in soho and I get the I walk I I walk over the bridge and every time I take a little video and I'm like I love London just love London and every time I hold on to that phone like I am holding on like to the one remaining string which is holding down the hot air balloon with everybody and everyone and everyone one I love in it. Like, that's the kind of ferocity that I hold onto my phone with. Like, if I let go of this, it's all, like, because I just think, I have to hold it with both hands.

Because if I hold onto it with one hand, I'll drop it. Even though I never drop my phone. Don't you think it would feel for a millie second, it would feel amazing. You know exactly, you know what it would be. It's this final scene in Devil Wears Prada, which annoys me so much. Yeah. Where Miranda's ringing Andy. Yeah.

She just looks at her phone and she just chucks it into the fountain. Oh, yeah. And on every level that annoyed me, first of all, because I'd be like, I would kill for that phone. But I watched it in whatever, it was 2008. And I didn't have a phone. And I was like, oh, don't know you're, I'll catch it. Don't know you're born.

Don't know you're born. But also, I never understood where she quit that job. Like, I never understood it. I'd have stayed. Are you kidding? She fucking thrived there. Like, she loved it. Yeah.

She loved it. She was so happy. Was she? Yeah. I thought that was the whole point that she was unhappy. She was, like, harassed by Miranda. Well, she was a bit.

But, like, I felt like her boyfriend was the real villain there. He was the real villain there. He was the real villain. And actually, I thought, you know what? You're thriving at work. You're actually doing really well. You are enjoying it.

You're learning a lot. Like, I did feel that she was enjoying it. Slightly toxic environment. Undoubtedly. Yeah. But I did feel like she was driving there and all that Nate was just making her feel like shit for it. He was so.

Not understanding at all. No, he was more than, he was really toxic. Like, I really, yeah, really didn't like him. He was so unsupportive. He was the real villain. Yeah. And so, and then I felt like she was choosing to go to him instead of the, why wasn't that identified at the time that it was him?

It was just a nauties. God, it's so bad. It was, actually, because it's literally, I've probably my favorite film, at least top five. Like, I absolutely adore that film. I've watched it so many times. It's like my comfort film. I love so much about it I love, I just love it

I love Stanley Tucci I love Meryl Streep I love Emily Blunt I just like I just kill it I just so good yeah but yeah

I don't know it actually it's not very progressive in that like it's a we weren't very comfortable with her prioritising

her career because it was like she was failing her boyfriend and she was vacuous for caring about fashion and like yeah and like all of her friends

are like we don't we're not into you only like you just care about work and it's like, well, fucking forgive her for living in New York. Oh my God, totally. Of course she needed to focus on work. We can't all be Carrie Bradshaw, just, like. Also, she didn't become mean. She was distressed. Yes, she was just busy. Yeah. And her friends and boyfriend couldn't hack it. I remember him being really horrible actually. Yeah. I've only watched it once, I think, at the time. And I was like, oh, this doesn't, yeah, he's not, he's not very nice.

No, he's not nice at all. This is not understanding. No, he just makes her feel really bad for working all the time. And it's like, also, you're a chef. Like, let's be honest, he's probably coaked out of your fucking head. But also, that's a huge allegation I'm destroying it in birth. Huge. But also, that's a New York chef, probably. But also, like, he's not exactly home in time for dinner every night. Well, exactly. And then, and then, at the end of the film, he gets off at another job in another state, can't remember where. And she's like, okay, I'll come too. So, so we follow you around for your career. I don't remember that. But by all means, we're annoyed with Andy when she goes to Paris for the career opportunity of a lifetime. Oh my God, I'm fuming now,

actually. So yeah, so it does upset me that she throws the phone away because I'm like Miranda had your back and you were making waves there and you were going places and I'm disappointed for you. We need a redo of the devil wears Prada. Like, you know how those in the Blightman books where you could choose your own ending?

Yeah. Choose different endings. We need to, we need one of those with a different ending. I would, I think she should have stayed. Maybe it's an unpopular opinion. Because maybe, and maybe I just like the hot, like I like the hustle and I and then whatever but like I just feel like she put too much in to just leave after a year and the editor of the Boston Post or wherever she goes to get the job afterwards says why did you go because Miranda said she was my biggest disappointment because she was because Andy was so

good and she left and it's like you you have so much potential and you kind of gave it up for the man I'm going to watch this tonight yeah oh my god do you want to watch it together I really want to watch it yeah I want to watch it I don't think I've literally never watched it once we can do a whole is it just me I mean we're going into sentimental garbage territory but They've never done an episode on it, so they're missing a trick. So, yeah. Anyway, she throws her phone in the fountain, and I think for a minute there, it probably felt really good. So good. So good.

But then when it dawns on you. I know, and the people please are in me, I couldn't handle it, because I'd be like, ask your phone, answer your phone, answer your, oh, you've thrown it away, and I'd just die. Excellent. What if I just drop my house keys into this drain? Yeah, no. Or your airport. Oh, your air pod.

That stresses me out That's gone Yeah, you wouldn't get that back That stresses me out No, don't drop your house keys That's not coming back This one made me laugh She said as well

Quite niche Very niche What if my What if my knees Just stop working I think this daily I think this daily Like when I'm in the queue

And I can just visualise myself Just dropping to the floor She's so right We put so much trust in our needs Like think about how far away we get from home Just counting on them to get us back again I imagine if they just quit But I had a different vision

Like different vision of them quitting Because I imagine them just locking Because if you ever tried to go down the stairs Without bending your knees No You can't This is it, it's literally impossible because my mum sometimes gets locked a knee

and it's so bad it's so bad it's completely debilitating obviously because like the knee the whole point of the knee is there's a joint that moves and bends it's integral

I just it's my favourite one my knees but I'm with her yeah my knees just stop working oh love these oh my god if your knee stops working

do you think your femur would just fall to where your shin is do you think it would fall like you know when a big building falls down when they do like a organized demolition and it all just sort of like falls down on itself do you think that's what happened to your legs probably do you think they're just sort of like double up oh that's horrible yeah it's not a nice visual well yeah probably probably oh yeah so they'll land in your shoes I just love that she's in a copy shop like in the kid like what of my knees to stop working

Oh, God. What if they did, though? Okay, when I'm walking and there's people behind me and my brain's like trip. Oh, God, I wish I had those thoughts. I'm like, brilliant. They're going to kidnap me. Fair. Fair.

I wasn't expecting that, but fair. Yeah. What if I just put my hand in the mixer? Well, I'm going to attest to this. Don't do it. Someone else had that thought? Yeah. Okay, yeah.

So I can attest to this. Don't do it. It really hurts. so I think I've talked about this before but basically what happens is just because this might actually help if we just play this out and then you will never want to do it or you'll want to do it way more in which case

DM me because I'll be right there with you but yeah so basically you put your hand in and then what happened to me at least was the whisk like wrapped around my fingers and then gobble gobble gobble and so then my fingers were all stuck in the whisk

so then we had to get my fingers out of the whisk It was painful, but there was that incredible moment of satisfaction. There's something really, I know there's something wrong with me. It's like giving in to the thought. But there's this moment where when it happens, when what you think is going to happen, happens. Yeah. This is incredibly satisfying moment. And it's a euphoria that I can't really find anywhere else.

There's something wrong with me. But that like that like, the moment that you know is coming. And then when it comes, it's like, ah. And then there's like, ow, fuck. Yeah, like regret. You're, I mean, was this a mixer? So this was a whisk, not a blade. It was an electric whisk.

Okay, thank God. Because you just lose your fingers. Oh, yeah, going in a mixer. Yeah. Well, it depends what we're talking about. Yeah, you wouldn't want to put the with a blender. I don't have that urge. Well, no, sometimes I do for the top,

not the bottom where the blades are, but at the top, when I see all the food go, and I just think, I wonder what that would feel like to be part of that. Do you know what I mean? I feel so left out. Do not leave me out. Yeah.

Vomo let me in. I want to just feel like the food slapping against my hand. Do you know what I mean? This is so niche. But I'm actually with you. I want to feel that too. Yeah. Wouldn't that feel nice?

The greater as well. The greater brings up a lot of grating your fingers. Yeah. Yeah. I hate that. I don't. I don't know by accident. Yeah, I'd do it all the time by accident.

All the time. Yeah. All the time. Putting my arm in between the tube doors is the closing. Do it. Do it. I told you I saw a kid get his head stuck in the tube doors once. That frightens the life out of me.

Yeah. He was fine. As the elevator doors are closing, there's a split second where my brain's like, put your hand out. back again quick I get it I get it I get it Indiana Jones style okay we've got a lot of what ifs now

okay we've got a whole bunch of what if I love what if what if I just leave the taps running what would happen I think you'd flood do you think but like how much would you flood

would it fill the house well it depends how long you leave it for but if you leave it for long enough surely the whole house well it depends if you've got a bungalow my house

if I left the kitchen tap running indefinitely would my whole house fill up with water? Yeah. My whole house? I think so. No. I mean, maybe it would find little cracks to run out of.

That would be amazing. Do you think Alex could be on board? No. We will have to do this. We have to do this without him. He can't know. He can't know. But like, I'm just trying to think about

like the exit points in my house but that's an incredible thought that there's enough water in the tap to fill my whole house with water well yeah so if i stayed in my house while it was filling up with water and i didn't do anything i could drown while standing up in my kitchen i think so isn't that incredible to think about i think so i could make like an aquarium out of my house i feel like we could be missing something here but i do think so but i don't think it's that watertight. I feel like it would start leaking out. I didn't think it would explode. I think it would start leaking before it exploded. Like your front door or surely there's like cracks and gaps in that. Yeah and like the yeah and like the windows. What if you

flooded the street? Wouldn't you but you wouldn't because that would just go. Yeah that's true. But like it's kind of amazing that you could just fill your house. God what I would have. Wow. I really want someone, will someone write in someone who understands this stuff? A plumber? I don't think plumbers would know. A water engineer? Plumbers must see it all the time though People who've left the taps running And I've never heard a story of a whole house being Yeah can you let us know

I feel like it's I think we're being really thick Possibly I do think I don't think houses of watertight I think it would just leak out of everywhere Yeah So I think you'd probably get like A lot on the floor And then you get to a point where That was as much water as was going to stay in the house

Do you know what I mean It would be leaving as fast as it would be coming in Because the gush isn't that big from a tap either is it? No. You'll have a big water bill. Huge. Huge. And you'd probably have to replace all your carpets. Yep. And probably move your kitchen cabinet. Well, I don't think it would get up there, but the sounds of it. The bottom of them probably.

Oh, the bottom, yeah. Yeah, and then you'd have to, they'd all get moldy. What if I just screamed right now in public? Or better yet, in this business meeting. But I love that, I love that. I love that. I told you, have you seen that video of me, not scream. I still did this in. But when I was like, like totally fine, but like, you know, going through a little bit in the summer, um, I screamed. I waited until I was in the middle of nowhere and I just walked and I just, I put it on camera because I sent it to my friend, because my friend Sov had a baby just after me and we were both like, just kind of up against it, not sleeping, you know, struggling. Like love motherhood. So stunning. But, you know, a bit.

So it's great. So, and she was coming out to the, buckle up. She was coming out to the other man. So I did it and I just went And I just, and I sent her a video with me doing it I just screamed Where in the other man? Yeah I was by myself Someone probably called the police

Because you never heard you by yourself But it felt fucking unbelievable Did it? Unbelievable Did it? And then I made Ellie do it as well Because she came out as well And I didn't, it wasn't probably so nice for her

Because I was standing next to her It's probably better when you do it on your own She wasn't going through anything She was a bit stressed about something And I was like scream babes And she was like, I can't just scream I'm going to get the video up for you I just screamed

It was amazing. Was it? Amazing. I really want to do that. But I always say this to my mum. I'm like, I want to do it a lot more because I feel like a lot of, it's actually I keep seeing stuff about like eldest children, eldest daughters and the rage that we feel.

And I get this rage. And sometimes I just think all I need to get rid of the rage is just to scream. But I live in London so you can't. I'm going to go out screaming. It feels fucking amazing. Here I put it in black and white actually. Oh my God

It's fucking amazing It was just great You definitely alerted people to Oh yeah I'm sure the Coast Guard got called They felt so good Wow Yeah okay If you want to release anger without

Without worrying your neighbours You can put a pillow against the wall And like punch into the pillow Or like scream into the pillow That could help I don't know Anyway Have you ever done that punching the cushion thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you? Does it not hurt if you punch hard enough? No. Well, you've got to get a proper pillow. I'm not a violent rage feeler. Like I, when in boxing, if you ever go to like co-box it over now, like imagine somebody's face. I don't have that. Like I never want to punch a person.

I'm always annoyed at myself. That's all my internal frustration. Yeah. It's always with myself, which is why I feel the need to do. just scream sometimes. Yeah, I get that. Like, it's actually really intense to admit that, but I feel like, fuck it.

That's my, like. I like, I like, I like, I actually get this, like, insane rage. It's always with myself. I bet there are, there are definitely, like, classes you should go to. There's a rage room in London. I want to do that so bad.

You want to come. Me and Ellie are going. I really want to do that. You just smash things. You just smash things. I really, really want to do it. I want to go, and I get really excited when I think about it, because it's like,

I feel like I'm always quite tightly, like this with like frustration and I just feel like it would be so I think this is probably why I run so far so fun yeah yeah probably to release it all yeah definitely it must be yeah like I was supposed to go running this morning and I didn't go and I kind of got this feeling in my tummy and I'm like maybe that's what it is maybe that's need to scream but we're in fucking Waterloo if I mean this is a soundproof room I don't think it's if you want to go for it it's not is it because we hear a lot I really want to do it though I feel like you could just just go on do it's a screen I'm scared what I People come running in.

Oh my God, they might. Shall I do it? I'm dying. You're shipping for a studio, aren't we? Okay, give us a scream. I mean, there are a lot of offices around us, but just do it quickly. Ah! Oh, that's so good.

I knew it was coming and to ship me up anyway. How does it feel? I could have gone for so much longer I would have liked to. I feel like I've only let a little bit out, and I feel like there's so much more. I've come up and I need to let it all out, but I can't. Because one screen, one screen, but. more than one scream, people are really going to panic. Do you know what I mean? One scream's like, ah, a spider, but like prolonged screaming is like, ah, I'm being murdered. So I'll stop.

Oh, I feel so good. Oh, God. Is it going to bubble? We've got an interview now. Is it going to bubble over? God, I feel fucking fantastic. Sorry, carry on. I know these people aren't actually sending these inner questions, but I feel like I'm answering. I love, I love it. I'm going to go screaming. Do you want to go scream? Yeah. Do you want to move the mic? Why don't you have a little scream? I don't think I'm there. Al it felt really good. I don't think I'm there. Have a little scream. I also don't have, I don't have much breath at the moment. Do what you can.

I can't. I'm too scared. What if I just smush this cupcake into my face instead of my mouth? Imagine how stupid you would like doing that. Depends why you did it. Just being like, I'm stupid to do it at home. By yourself. Yeah.

Immediately. You ate the cupcake case. Yeah. I eat the cupcake cake. I can't. I don't swallow it. I just chew until all. I am horrified by that.

Are you really? I am honestly. I couldn't believe it. No, no. Okay. So M on her Instagram story put up a video of her eating her cupcake and then putting the entire cupcake casing in her mouth and chewing it up and then spitting it back out. Right.

Fine. Okay. We'll talk about it. I've done this for fucking years and it was always my dirty little shame and I felt really proud of myself that I told the internet and I thought this is a safe space. Well, clearly fucking not. You too. but, but I did put up a poll

because I've always felt like I was alone in having done this and whilst the statistics overwhelmingly told me that it wasn't normal I wasn't alone Sorry, get up the percentage and then get up the number of people And then I'm going to tell you that the people that clicked yes Did it by accident No, no, no, thousands are

Accident Can I remember when I had this cupcake? Oh, here it is. 13% of people said They did it too. Bullocks. That's two and a half thousand people. Bullocks.

That is not two and a half thousand accidents. It's not. It's simply not. I concede maybe a couple of hundred of accidents. But I had DMs to me, but I've had conversations with people. Who do it too? You know what? You know what I know?

What? Alex told me. What? Sometimes he does it too. To say? Yep. That's why we fell in love and got married. You're both sick?

I didn't know. He did it. It's disgusting. It's not disgusting. It's fucking. It's not disgusting, actually. I don't know what it is about it that makes me feel so weird. It's inspiring.

It's clever. I'm getting the most out of life. You guys, you're sad little 70% of, I'm getting all this cakey goodness from the casing. So you know what? You can stay with your depleted, depleted little mouthfuls. I'm sad for you that you don't have the bravery and the confidence to eat the paper. It's fucking delicious. Do you know what?

She's hit the nail on the head. we're jealous. We're jealous. I get more cake. I get more cake. You know what? Agreed. And I think outside the box. I'm bitter. And you know what, you know what creative minds get? More cake. It is. I know it's revolting. As I'm doing it, I'm like, I know this is gross. And I realize as well, and I said this at the time, it's not a good thing to do. I know that. It's one thing to do it in the privacy of your own home. I did it and my daughter's christening. Like, that's obscene. I'm glad I didn't see you doing that. All I think about this all the time, Katia says it to me all the time. Every time I'm like a bit emotional or do anything childlike and she says to me, honey, when you

have the baby, you can't be the baby. And I realize as I am gobbling the cupcake casing that I need to grow up because Ollo's going to have a weird mom. Like I'll be at like birthday parties eating the fucking cupcake case. Imagine her shame. Imagine her shame. Poor Ollo. Olo's mom's really greedy. shoving the entire cupcake in her mouth she ate the fucking paper but for now while she's not cognizant I'll just keep it my own and as well I just don't need to do it in front of her friends I've got it in private I can do it I can just do it alone yeah yeah and that's what I've done for years I just do it when I don't think anyone's looking I just shovel it in we've all got a

secret it just should have it should have remained a secret I think that's the thing this is what I'm learning about myself as we do these. Like, I don't think I have very good, I don't know, is it restraint? No, because I'm very disciplined. What is it? What's wrong with me? Why do I do these things? I think we encourage ourselves to share a lot in this space.

No, no, no, no. Why do I do these things? Why do I put my hand in with? Why do I get electrocuted? Why do I eat cupcake cases? What's in me? that likes to scream like why do I do the things that everybody normal people have done what normal people are just sending these in going oh what a weird thought I have I've replied to

most of them going I've done that what a weird thing I've done what's wrong with me maybe maybe people could write in about that as well can you speculate I would be interested in your interpretation me yours yes I think you have ADHD and low impulse control and you act out you act on your impulsive thoughts yeah that's my assessment as a non-professional

this sounds about right Daisy would you concur yeah I'm quite free yeah you are you are quite free I think everything's quite at the top do you know what I mean it's all ready to spill over I don't think I have much depth

to me. Do you know what I mean? I get what you mean. There's a sort of simplicity to it when you look at it like that. It's volatile. Yeah, there's nothing but nothing. I'm not going to be one of those people that you read about being like it was the final straw and then she snapped. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't think I'll ever get to that. I think I deal the things as they come in. A hundred percent. Nothing gets buried. I don't sweep anything under the wrong. I'll trip over it immediately. But you forget about things really quickly. But you forget about things really quickly.

100% I don't hold grudges Like you'll have a bad morning or something Yeah Or like I don't know You just get over things really quickly It drives Alex up the fucking wall boy Alex

Like I will stop the biggest argument of our marriage And then like two minutes later I'm like Can we just move off? Do you want a cake? Like well should we have for breakfast Did you sleep well? He's like what?

You just said you wanted a divorce I'm like eh ha ha ha ha I didn't mean it That would drive me insane. I get home to stop so quick. But then I get into a bad mood really quick, but then I just whip out of that again. Yeah, you do.

You do. Like, it takes me a lot to get out of a bad mood. I have to, like, transition out of it, whereas you're just, like, click your fingers and you're out. Yeah. How long does it take you to get out of a bad mood? I mean, it depends. But, like, you remember last week when I turned up at the studio

and I was all frazzled and I'd had to go to an event before and I was just not in a... And I was like, oh my God, I'm in a really bad mood. Probably like fifth, like half an hour. Oh, my God, that's fine. I thought you were going to say like days. Oh, no, oh no.

That's still pretty quick. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd still argue that's pretty quick. But I have to try. Yeah. I have to like, make a conscious effort to be like, come on. Breathe. Everything's okay.

We're out of it. Stop moaning. Like, you're fine, blah, blah. Yeah, I don't have that. No, yeah. I have to actively get myself out of it. Yeah. Interesting.

Interesting. Oh, no. Hmm. Fascinating. Yeah. But then do you describe yourself as being in good moods? Because I feel like you're quite level. I think I am quite level, yeah.

Yeah. Compared to you, I think I'm quite level. So no offense. No, no, that's about right. Yeah. But I'm much more often in a good mood than a bad mood. Yeah, you're extreme. Yeah.

Yeah. But I seem to be up a lot more than I'm down. I probably go down. well it depends I haven't been down today but I was in a bit of a grunt when you guys but then I was like stressed with work but it's kind of fine

and then I put my phone down and forget about it yeah that's the thing you forget about it straight away straight away yeah yeah like I'm literally like a fish like a goldfish it's actually it's yeah it's weird isn't it's quite amazing it is weird yeah it's quite amazing though it's a nice way to live it's like I'm about to give you another film reference

which is probably getting a straight I know do you know about a boy the film. Yes. But he talks about living his life as like half a day. I think he calls them units. And it's like half an hour unit. It's like half an hour.

Like his life is built up of like half an hour blocks. Which I really like. I like that. But I feel like I'm kind of there. Yeah. This half an hour is fucking great. Next half an hour is a bit. Blu.

And then like. I like that though because then you're like, you know everything's going to pass. Yeah, which is really nice. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's I don't put a time on it but that's kind of how I like to like

to roll with it because it's like it'll be over in a minute if I don't like this chat to turn the page or whatever in a minute Isn't life so weird? Oh life is so fucking weird So fucking weird So fucking weird

But we're just like alive And we're just like having to like Watch our mood It's a mind that we It's so annoying that we have to do that Why can't we just go out and scream I know Final film reference at the moment

Sorry and a lot of them seem to be Richard Curtis, but you do know this one in love actually. Yeah. When what's his fucking name? Andrew Lincoln, it's incredibly problematic all of that. First of all, first of all, Karen Knightley was 18 at the time, getting married. And then her best, and then her boyfriend's best friend and then she just snogs him. And then he's

enough now, enough. Anyway, when he leaves that, when he lives his amazing house on the wherever he lives, like, yeah, it's like, oh, fuck, where does he live? Like, black front, it's like, it just looks unbelievable. Anyway, leaves his house and then he does up his his three-quarter length turtle neck and then he just yells does he

oh my god it's all I fucking want in my life is to leave and zip up my little jumper and then put my head in and he puts his head in his hands folds himself up like a deck chair I'll show you so he walks out

so made me feel quite depressed that I don't know why and he sits up his thing and the sugar bays is playing yeah it's too lost in you oh it's too lost in you I think it goes, I thought it was Dido at this point. It is Dido.

Oh, I am what I am. Great soundtrack and then he comes like, yeah, Dixie keeps singing and then dips up and he goes, oh god. Oh god! Yeah, so he goes down and then he just, what, and then this guy next one goes, oh, and then... Oh my god, this is all so beautiful, I think I'm going to cry. Oh, totally.

Yeah, that's stunning. And, oh, it's just... I feel sad. Oh, he's just so cross. Crossing the way that you would be if you were in love with your best friend's wife. I mean, what a predicament. What a situation to get yourself into it.

Imagine being in love with your best friend's wife. But I also don't really get this. Yeah, I don't know. Are you just jealous that Dave's best friend doesn't in love with you? Yeah, I'm actually like, Mordaude. Classic. What about me? But do you feel sorry for him?

You're not lovable. It was incredibly inappropriate. But how do you fall in love with your breast friend's partner, right? Because you have to, there's got to be some, unless they're giving something back to you, there's got to be some kind, you can't just fall in love with someone without any. You absolutely can. It happens all the time. It does hear.

Have you read any romantic literature or? But I feel like to fall in love with someone, you have to like care for someone. And there has to be a romantic literature. relationship, like, you can be in lust. But you can, like, really fancy someone and, like, fantasise about them. But to be, like, in love with someone is, like, it's very, I don't know. There's got to be, like, a nurture kind of caring for someone there. And I feel like you can't, if some, I don't, I don't know.

But he just loves her. How do we, like. Get a grip. We can't bumble. I don't know. Sort yourself out, mate. Absolutely concur. But, like, I do feel sorry.

Like, take a step back. Yeah, also, it was. It was incredibly bizarre that he just filmed her at the wedding. It's so weird. It's really creepy. Sort yourself out. Just to have, because what else are you doing with that video if not masturbating to it? You're not an animal.

Yeah. Like, come on. That's bizarre. Yeah. That's bizarre. And also, no, no, no also, it's just bizarre. However, that closing shot of the video that he made where she's waving from the boat. Yeah.

In that sparkly halter top. Oh my God. That's probably where. all of my fashion inspiration came from that one scene. She looked fucking fantastic. Does she? She looked unbelievable in the way that a 17-year-old Kira Knightley would and a 29-year-old post-part of me would not.

Why was she getting married? Well, the character wasn't 17. Obviously, but like... She was in love, Al. Why does anyone get married? Oh, God. I feel like I need to explain some things to you. Love.

Marriage. Fashion. Oh, it's a fucking great film. Anyway, we've got to watch the devilics crowd and later. We've got to go. We've got to go. We got to go. We love you.

Thanks for listening. Really fun. Please, if you've ever screamed in public, let me know. And if you've got a diagnosis as to what's wrong with me and why I act on all my impulsive course, let me know. Do I need to see your doctor? Any good numbers, psychiatrists, anything will be great. Yeah, it's fun. I like it.

I like it about myself. I get all cake. On that note, we'll see you next week. Thanks, guys. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS. to create a network.