Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Holophobia

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

On this week's IIJM, the girls continue their exploration of intimate things, discuss phobias and the size of the ocean...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Should I Delete That? I'm Alex Lai. I'm M Clarkson and I am ready to get uncomfortably intimate with you once more. Part two of things that aren't intimate but feel very intimate. The first one is so intimate. Eating a banana in front of people. I also lump in with this, eating a lolly ice in front of people. I know. Do you suck or do you lick?

both are uncomfortable You should be facing the wall Both are really uncomfortable Are you an aggressor? I think biting makes things less uncomfortable but fuck it hurts It really hurts

It makes it 50 times more uncomfortable Because then you're like Ah, breathe, freeze Horrible eating a banana I think the only way to do it is to break bits off and eat it like that I think I've seen you do that before You can't just like deep throat the banana

I've got a full full, well a girl I used to work with a full phobia of bananas. I've heard of this. Like, I've never known anything like it. And it's kind of my first, like, foray into like, that's another word. I don't really know the meaning of. Forey.

Into, like, into, like, phobias. Like, my, my mom's really scared of heights, but I don't even know what that's called in terms of a phobia. So I just, like, I don't know about, I don't know. Anyway, and she'd be like, I'm really, and I'd kind of be like, grow up, you know, whatever. But then I had to learn. I was like, no, I'm being, that's not kind.

she's actually terrified of bananas. Interesting. She came into work like having a full like panic attack one morning because someone had eaten one on the tube. Seriously? Which is a weird place to eat at banana but yeah. I wonder where that comes from? I've got no idea.

It's got to come from somewhere. Yeah, she'd get really upset like we couldn't have them in the office. Wow. I know. So I yeah, I kind of judged her and then had to unjudge her because it was like because I don't know. Yeah. It's so easy to laugh at people's phobias, isn't it?

Until you actually consider that it's like, why would they choose that? And that's a horrible thing for them. Yeah, it's rational for them. Yeah. It might be rational for them. I felt really sorry for her. It was like, this is a really stressful thing.

Like, she's all her banana skin in the, in the Lou bin at work and got really stressed by it. Really? Everyone was like, who ate the banana? I bet banana's one of those things as well that actually, it doesn't really come into our consciousness, but when you are scared of them, when you notice them, they're everywhere. It's the red car thing, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, they're everywhere. They are bloody everywhere because they are a very, you know, healthy and nutritional snack. Yeah. I love banana. Do you know what I don't understand about phobias, right? is okay so arachnophobia fear of spiders why they'd call it spider phobia

well arachnids latin agaraphobia going outside but just call it outside phobia you know yeah we always have to guess what these what these phobias

mean it's like trickophobia whatever the fear of holes and stuff tripophobia call it holophobia holy phobia I don't know. That sounds like I'm scared of like, God. God.

Which is fair enough. It's always like a question in game shows. Like what is da-da-da-phobia? And you have to guess. It's like it's so stupid that we call it that. Let's just call it what it is. Spiderfobia. I kind of like it.

Although the scared of holes thing, like I got a lot of shit. Have you ever seen those white strawberries like cream? They're amazing. I can't. They are delicious. I can't. But I put them on my Instagram. And this is like we could do a whole series of like,

things like innocuous shit you didn't innocuous Instagram stories you couldn't possibly have imagined that you would have got shit for yeah I got so much I was like oh wow look at this cool strawberry and I literally was like you should have put a everyone's like you should have put a trigger warning and I was like oh my god why because they're they're really triggering people with the holophobia yeah but like I don't think you should have put a trigger warning yeah I mean they are they are offensive to look at I don't like them asshole fucking delicious I do they're cool to look at No, I can't. Anything with a pattern like that.

I thought they were really cool. It's like honeycomb. All spots. Like pause. Yeah, no. I hate, hate. Hate. If you ever Google tripophobia

and look at the images, don't do it. Actually, just don't do it. It's really horrifying. I feel really lucky not to have a phobia, though. Yeah. I guess I am, if I had anything,

I'm very, I don't, I get quite panicky. I guess it would be claustrophobia. But like, if you, if someone locked that door, I would get in a real panic. would you? When it's shot

I'm like oh yeah fine but if someone locked it it would really unscels me have you have you

what was that like I don't on my face fine cause they sound quite scary but you've got the out I didn't mind that because I can see the out

it's like it's like if I got stuck in a loo that would really stress me out it's like I can't be stuck somewhere yeah yeah do you know what or the risk of getting stuck

something like I knew in the MRI tube if I wanted to I could just shir me out Oh my god Or someone could just pull my feet TikTok Sourcing on TikTok

Of course I fucking did Of course he fucking did A man went down Who's going through caves Oh I'd rather choke on my own hair Every single day The rest of my life And there was like a normal

Cave path That people could go down And they'd get through the other side It was fine It was well used But he took the wrong cave And it was a small cave And he basically buried himself

Further and further and further And further and further And they couldn't get him out He died He died. Fuck. Yeah. Shit.

I know. That's my idea of hell. That is horrendous. Just like working your way, you're working yourself down into this little cave that you're not eventually that you're just going to. You're just stuck there. You're just building your own tomb basically. Literally. It's completely stuck.

There was nothing they could do to get him out. Bless him. Yeah. Because I don't even like being underwater. I don't mind like dipping under the water like, oh, like he. Although I can't do it in my stupid face anymore. But going under, like if you have. to like swim underneath something like I always think like oh be cool to like swim under like I did

it once in a cave thing where you basically like swam and there was like a hole because I used I mean I am quite a strong swimer so as a kid I'd be like oh yeah cool I'll do this yeah and then it was like you had to swim and you go like under these rocks and you swim through this like amazing thing and it was like when I started getting down there and you look up and it was just rocks I got in the biggest panic and I knew I could I could hold my breath that length of time but the minute you know that you have to hold your breath that's when I panic That's really scary. That's another one, thalasophobia, fear of water.

Why not? Just waterphobia. Are people scared of drinking it? No. I think it's like the sea, I think. Well, I see scary as hell. The sea is so scary. But it's amazing.

I fucking love the sea. One of the things that freaks me out the most, like imagining freaks me out the most is just to be dropped in the middle of the ocean. And just left. By myself and just left in dark. Not even just in darkness, in lightness. No, no, no, no. Sorry, the sea at night.

It's horrendous. It never occurs to me that it gets night time at the sea. Do you know what I mean? That whenever I imagine being in the sea, it's like blue, imagine it when it's all black and you're just in it. It's just dark. And you just go so far down. Did you watch the deepest breath?

Nope. You have to watch that. Oh my God. It's such a good documentary. It's terrifying, but it is actually really beautiful and sad and heart-wrenching, but also just gorgeous and you just have to watch it. It's really lovely. but it's free diving

and they just go down and down and down and down and down and down. And they go to where there's no light anymore. That's my favourite. The sun's out, it's light outside but not where they are. Why don't we explore the seymour? Because, I don't know.

Well, because we don't live near one. No, not me and you. Not me and you. Why didn't we do this together more? It's a valid question, but like, I don't know really. Why don't humans? Like, we're still exploring space all the time, but people just say quite matter of factly,

oh, well, there's, you know, like, two-thirds of the ocean we've not even explored. And it's like, well, why not? We've got the time. It's right there. It's easier going there than it is going to Mars. Because we can bust, don't we, if we go too far down? As opposed to when we go to space,

and we thrive. Yeah, just let me free in space. Happy days. No good point. What else is into it? Good point. Hannah said she recently bought new trainers and the guy at the shop

had to measure her foot. Way too intimate. Yeah, that is intimate as hell. It's so intimate. I hate that for her. I hope she wasn't barefoot. I hope at least she has socks on. No, it's even worse because then they put it on the slipperary,

the thing, you know, the sock, the shoe of the foot, there's just. thing and then when they have to like bring the the top down it touches your top and it hits you and also I feel like apologising I'm sorry it's so big or small or you know what I mean I'm just sorry sorry it's a foot sorry it's disgusting mine you do work in the shoe shop so he's used to he's used to it agree though or they even do you know they even give you those little do remember the socks I used to give you in the shop plastic ones oh god that's so horrible I just used to be I can't wait to do it for

and make her put shoes on and then go and walk the length of the shop and just show me that they fit and be like where's your big toe oh she's gonna need some shoes yeah when do they start wearing shoes she's just taking some steps so my girl needs soon my girl needs some yeah some shoes i can't believe it baby shoes are the cutest i don't know how big her feet are it's really hard to like i need to buy some shoes but like i don't know how good point i know it's really weird do you just buy not not wait like six to 12 months and just hope that they fit No, I think I'm going to have to take a to a shoe shot probably. Make her get intimate.

Oh, this next one makes my insides curl up. Having a facial and they put lip balm on your lips. Oh, that's... That's quite nice. I wouldn't mind that. I think that's quite soft. I think that's quite kind. Yeah, lips touching, someone touching your lips.

That's too much. It doesn't bother me too. I mean, if they kiss me, I would argue that's too intimate, but like... But that feels like different skin to them. I don't mind that. I think it also helps and I can't really feel so much with this area of my... That's so near your mouth, though. That just feels weird.

Have you ever had an... A perioral massage? What fuck is that? When they go inside your mouth? I've had a lot inside my mouth. They had what they... To get, for TMJ, to go inside and massage the inside of your mouth. Yeah, you can't have that.

So I have Botox to treat my TMJ, which is, I don't know what it stands for, actually, for anyone listening. But it's basically like incredible jaw pain, teeth grinding kind of thing. It's a big part of why I had my surgery. But yeah, I know a woman literally gives the most intense massages. She actually doesn't see men as a general rule because their pain threshold is so much lower than women's. And she's like, I just am not going to waste my time. They can't handle it. Which obviously most men like Alex took to be an incredible challenge.

And he was like, well, I can handle it. Yeah, she goes in and she does it's so good It was actually too much for me So I'd have to have the Botox Like it was just like she couldn't even Like it was just But I've got my slipped discs in my jaw now This whole thing

You're a walking mess Just my head Just your head The rest of me is absolutely fine Okay Sitting next to a stranger at the cinema And your elbows touching Or the theatre

No no All the theatre Or when you have to come in when you're late and your seats in the middle and you've got to go sorry and you're basically grinding up on the whole row. Oh, I hate that. Like, oh, let me just run my butt along your crotch. Also, everybody. You have to say sorry to every single person that you pass. Because I tell you another thing that I think is quite intimate that shouldn't be. Stepping on someone else's foot. I'm like, oh God, sorry, you've just felt my gravitational pull on the earth and it was too much.

That's awful. Yeah, because they did not ask for you to be in their space. That's a violation of their space. It's also painful, but yeah, you've stood on their foot. Like, get out, get out. Oh, I hate myself. Yeah, but you have to say sorry to them. And it's so annoying because you can't double up on the sorry. So you've got to go, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, until you're there.

And it's like, I hate this. I hate this. I hate this so much. Can someone just crane me in? Like, just pick me up and then drop me into my seat, like one of those machines at the arcade. Anyway, yeah. Yeah. I've seen cows, I've seen lots of videos on TikTok of cows being like airlifted into various places.

Oh, I know. In the Isle of Man, there's a, there's the calf of man. They make, this is actually really, like it makes me really sad, but I hope they survive. Anyway, so they farm it, they farm the calf of man. And in the old days, they would make the cows swim. They call it the cow, call it the Cow's Bay, Cow's Beach, Cow's, Cow Harbour, Cow Harbour. And they would make the cows, they tie them all together. Yeah.

So that one can't float away and then they all swim. Can I swim? Yes. I learned this recently. Can they? Can they? Yes. They can swim.

It doesn't really make sense for them to be able to swim. I know. That was not on evolutionary necessity. They've got very small legs for a very big body. But then I've got such a big body. Yeah. Anyway, they can swim. So they're all tied together and then they all swim over there.

Do they make it? Yes. That's why they're all tied together. one doesn't just float away. But they could all just sink. Yes, but I think the thing is with farming I'm learning is that whereas like farmers care about their cattle's lives, not because they're not going to eat them because obviously they'll probably get eaten, but they've got a monetary value.

So no farmer's going to be like, yeah, sure, you guys can all drown. That's true, that's true. Like there's a very big incentive for somebody whose livelihood it is to make them survive. So they feel like they wouldn't do it if it was just sending them all like, oh, we'll just try again, even though they all drowned last 10 times if we did it. So I feel like it's probably fine. The doggie paddle makes me sad. Well, I can't imagine their front crawling.

Breastroking, imagine. Oh, sweet. I know. So sweet. Getting your hair wash at the hairdresser. Open your eyes or close your eyes. What do you do? I was thinking about this last time I went to the hairdresser

and I realized that I don't think they can see your eyes. I keep mine well open. I hate closing my eyes. Going back to that claustrophobia. thing that's i don't like closing my eyes question tell me what you think about me when you have your hair done yeah do you ever not talk to the hair stylist no i wish because like i really like i really like i really like everybody you know it's not that i don't like talk to people but like i want to use the time right to work yeah it'd be nice isn't it yeah i just spit a piece and get

the work done but then you've got to be polite and then there's only so much you there's only so much small talk and then you end up getting randomly really intimate oh yeah super deep. Yeah, super deep. And then I'm like, everybody can hear. I end up sharing secrets. Well, I tend to find that people tell me their secrets, which I love. So my stylist will be telling me something really intimate.

And I'm like, have you told everybody this? Because also, you're telling the salon. So if your colleagues heard this like five times, am I not special? Yeah, I said, I think you're not special. So do you think they just say the same things? I think so. To everybody. Yeah, I think so.

So do you think their colleagues are like, oh, there she goes again? Probably. Talking about her childhood trauma out again. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. And that's the case.

And I'm like, if you don't need to be having this conversation, we don't need to do it. This is the thing. I'm always like, I can't not talk to them because I feel like it's rude. Yeah. But if I think about it, I'm like, they probably don't want to talk to me. Yeah. I, so sometimes, like, we do the chat and then I'll be like, do you mind if I do some work now? That's a nice idea.

Okay. I would like to be brave enough to do that. Yeah. Because I just figure, like, they must be tired too. I think being a hairdresser or any kind of beauty size, you're on your feet all day and talking all day. Yeah. Must be so tiring.

Exhausting. Like just standing up all the time. Exhausting. Sometimes they get their little, you know, like a little stool on wheels. But barely. But barely. Yeah, I know. Wouldn't it be nice to just work in peace without someone yapping away to you?

Yeah. Yeah. And what do you really want to hear about my holidays? Probably not. Probably fucking not. No. Oh, you're going to try. You've been there before.

Oh, that's like, you don't care. Yeah. Probably. No. But if you, I wish, I wish, there's a. part of like humanity that I wish we could just be really honestly like do you want to talk to me and I won't take it personally if you say no and then the person could say no wouldn't that be so nice if we could do that but we will never be able to do that never ever no especially not as British people

no I feel like Americans could do that I feel like they're like they're like they're like they're like way close to that than us what just being able to say nah yeah yeah yeah yeah to be being really honest and being like do you do you like I feel like Alex could do that my Alex yeah yeah very politely i think you'd be able to be like we don't need to talk if you don't want to by the way oh my god that just like imagine even just that frit like you saying that made me want to like be sick a little bit fair enough i would die if someone said it to me i'd be like no no i want to talk yeah i love talking to you switch my favorite part of my day i wish you'd come in more yeah so annoying sitting in the car with your driving instructor

oh i can't really remember i oh my god Oh no I had someone No There was no room for awkwardness No The woman who taught me how to drive No She was a obsessed of this

She was called Penny Penny Penny They have Dual brakes Don't they Yeah I'd say it's a very

brave job to do It is such a brave job You're getting into a death trap With somebody who doesn't know how to operate it Literally And your job is to teach them Oh my God I couldn't

And you're right It is intimate Because you're both sitting there Facing the same way You can't look at each other They take you on the motorway No, you can't go on the motorway. Not the motorway, also the dual carriageway.

They take you on dual carriageways. Yeah. I remember distinctly going on the first one and being like, you're mad. You're actually mad for doing this with me. I have intrusive thoughts. Yeah, I wouldn't do it with you. I would not do it with me. No.

I do think I'd go on a dual carriageway with you now. I mean, I'm a bit better. Slightly, not really. So, Jen, laugh. The intrusive thoughts. I totally tell me that I, like, definitely have made the right decision. I'll drive. I think it was best.

Sitting in the front seat of an Uber. Under no circumstances would I ever want to do that. Although I had to really randomly when we went to Estonia for my mom and Alex's Ironman last year, there's no space of me in the back of the cab. So I was like, sure, I'll get in the front. The guy was really nice to be fair. And we had a really nice chat. But I was like, thank God for that because it was a fucking long drive.

And they had the, he had like a big plastic thing dividing me and me and then. It was like just me and him. We were in like a two-seater. The thing is, it's not the front seat, the front passenger seat of an Uber is not set up for passengers. They've got their stuff there. It's a sacred space. They've got their, it's just their secret space.

They've got their snacks. They've got their, I don't know, phone, like whatever, charges. It might have a little jar of wee. Yeah. And it's always pulled up close. There's more room in the back. Yeah. It's just horrible.

Yeah, it's a lot. And then another situation where you have to talk to them. Oh, God, yeah. What, you're just going to look out the window. Exactly. No. No. Absolutely not

Go on your phone Ew Rude Car sickness Yeah but you're also You know You're in the sacred space Yeah you have to talk

Yeah you gotta sing for your supper Absolutely Do you know though And I find that I only get a taxi When I'm really like Desperate When I'm like I can't face

I've just got to get in a taxi Do you know what I mean I'm like tired It's the end of the working day And I'm like I just I can't face anything else And it's always then When the taxi driver really

I'm like, I don't know how to tell you that I can't do this because you're not, can you not see on my face? I can't do this. Or when you've got airports and then they don't realize and then they've started and then you've got to go, I spend more time than I care to admit talking to black cab drivers about how bad Uber is. And I'm such a chameleon. I just agree. I agree. I agree. Whatever the black cab is saying, I'm like, agree. I'm like, no, you're right. It is. It's an outrage. Yeah, fucking Sadiq Khan. I'd get right on board. I'm like, yeah whatever you say because yeah

I get very high rate with them and then I wish I wasn't I'd rather just be singing to my music having no opinion about Sadiq Khanigan you know when you're chatting to them and then someone rings you and it's a phone call you need to answer you're like oh sorry I have to answer the phone now

sorry to put yeah sorry to win this I know why is life awkward so awkward I was just excretiating so awkward so full of these awkward moments these intimacies Say we wouldn't have this kind of problem. Who?

Apes. Don't. Don't. I can't get into this again. I can't. Last one. Locking eyes in the window reflection of a train. Locking eyes in any reflection.

That was my awkward ones. Do you remember? Locked eyes with a man. It was horribly intimate. Facing the wrong way. And once you've done it, then it's on your mind and you keep going back. I tell you what I keep getting really stressed about at the moment is, you know, when you make eye contact with someone,

and they smile at you. Yeah. And you don't smile back because your instincts aren't, your reaction time is just too slow. Yeah. And then they've gone. And it really stresses me out.

I'm like, oh my God, you're just going to go through your whole day. Being like, well, fuck her. It's happened like three times yesterday where I was in my own world

and then like I got smiled at and then I smiled too late. And they'd already gone. It's like, oh my God, the moment's gone and I didn't smile back and I'm so sorry

because now they're probably you're never going to smile at anyone again. I've contributed to a miserable city when nobody even makes the effort with anybody else because they just get nothing for it because I'm selfish and horrible. It's a black mark on your soul. I know.

It's really bad at it. It's really upsets me. But then I'm like, but I don't be too quick to smile either because first of all, if you're too quick to smile at a man, then, you know? Do you know what I hate?

You're asking for it. Well, exactly. I hate when I smile at someone, they don't smile back and I'm like, I waste a fucking smile on you. Well, brilliant, that's me. And how rude that you didn't. That's you.

It's me. It's you. It's me. You and all those people that smiled at me yesterday. You shared that opinion. But I saw all these men wearing, and they were like, kind of like fancy looking men, like kind of like posh boys. And they were wearing like big yellow ribbons.

Right. So I was staring at them all. I was like, what are those ribbons? And then because everything's been quite like politically charged and everything's been a bit. And I was like, oh God, I hope they're not like going to cause any trouble. So I was like really staring at their ribbons. Anyway, and then I was obviously staring at their ribbons and then one of the guys smiled

at me. And I was like, well, that's throwing me off God because I have got a whole narrative about you in my head. And then I was so shocked by the smile. I just didn't smile back. And that was just that. I was like, look at me judging a book by a cover being an assail. Yeah. Judgmental cow.

Yeah, I'm the worst. So it turns out I'm the opposite of intimate. I'm frigid. Publicly frigid. I'm sorry. Well, this has been good. I have really enjoyed this. I love these episodes so much.

I hate being. No, that's about. I love being a human, as you know. Love being a human. Just the best. Yeah, you do. Way too much. Yeah, way too much.

I love it. Even if I'm not always great at it. Thank you so much for listening, guys. We love you loads. We love you loads and we will see you on Monday. Stay intimate and see you on Monday. Bye. Thank you so much for listening.

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