Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: I'm going straight for the breast

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

In this week's IIJM, the girls talk wine gums, breast milk and the male gaze...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, hi everybody. Hello, hi, hello, hello. I have some fabulous news. Talk to me, please. For the last 10 years, I've been in a relationship with a man that has always made me feel... No, he hasn't made me feel anything. Of the two of us, I am perhaps the more idiotic. I know you're in a similar thing.

position yourself so thank you I'm rude okay but thanks I don't disagree um so when he himself is a bit of an idiot nothing and I mean nothing brings me more joy yes earlier this week we we were walking down the street and for reasons best known to ourselves we were talking about my bum hole because that's just something that happens why not why not and as a direct quote he said the words to me isn't there a cat in Egypt called the sphincter wait

no hang on wait isn't there a cat in Egypt called the sphincter there is the fucking is no it's fucking not Al there's one called the sphinx the sphinx that's it

it was like this feels so right but also so wrong and the sphincter is in your urine no no it's in your bladder no your sphinct is your butt hole oh this is not this isn't quite the reception i foresaw sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry hang on i'm sure sphinxes was to do the bladder i'm sure the sphincters we have lots of sphincters oh my god we have over 50 types of sphincters in the human body is one of them the butthole yes one of them

is the internal anal sphincter stunning and one of them is a cat knee chit Alex. I love that. Oh my God. That's so like my vibes. That's so Alex vibes. I love that. We're so on the same page. I love it. Okay, I can delete that out my notes now. I've just had that as their headline. Isn't there a cat in Egypt? Call this sphincter? So good. Oh, I've got an embarrassing story from my sister and I'm desperate to tell it. But, but, I don't know this is really annoying. for everyone but they will hear it when the recording airs. I want to save it for the live show because she's going to be there and I'm working on getting her to tell the story. At the moment she's like, absolutely

fucking not. I will never tell that story as long as I live. Which sister? One of the twins, Sophie. Interesting. To do with the doctors. Oh, I've got stuff. I've got stop. I've got stop. I'll go so far. I don't think it's an absolute no. She's saying it is but I don't know. I just feel like I can wear her down.

Everybody's got their prize. Exactly. Everybody he's got their price. My price, oh my God, do you know my brother's price is so low. He was talking about it in the day. He was like, there is, he was like, there's nothing I wouldn't do for £500. What? Nothing. He honestly, he's like, it's such a good amount. Like, he's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, I'm not going to turn out my nose, turn my nose up to anything. Anything for 500. There's nothing I wouldn't do. And I have given him some things. And he's like, yeah, I do it. I can think of five million things I wouldn't do for £500. Well, It turns out that's not your price, but that's what I mean.

Everybody's got the price. This is just pretty low. In the scheme of like, would you eat another human's poo? He's like, yeah. Never, never. No, Finn, no. Not for anything. Not for anything.

You wouldn't. Yeah, for something. For something. But not for 500 pounds. You could get really sick. And it'll cost you more than 500 pounds to sort yourself out. You'd be fine. I'm sorry.

I am not ingesting. Absolutely not. No, no. I would eat, just, I'd eat like a teeth being full of your poof for a hundred grand. Yes, yeah, I would do it for 100 grand. Maybe that's 50 grand. I do it for 20. I do it for 20. Why am I talking?

If someone's not fucking me 100, why I would talk to myself down? I would do it for 10, right, I think. Right. If we could find someone incredibly rich to sponsor this. Sponsor this. Should we do a go fund me? You need Just a scoop up my hip to 10 grand They're really using their platforms for good

They're making real change in the world Okay, fundy Change.org Funders help eat each other's poo Oh fuck Oh wait, a teaspoon are you talking heaped or flat? Flat, I suppose Okay

I've got I've got actual sick in my esophagus it's come up it's it's it's that's a sphincter and this is an esophageal sphincter sphers everywhere the sphincter has opened and there is now sick sick in my esophagus um a flat teaspoon is better than a heaped look in reality if someone was standing here with 5,000 pounds right and it was 5,000 pounds from someone bad you know someone that I didn't mind taking money off do you know what I mean yeah so standing here with 5,000 pounds and a flat teaspoon of your poo,

I think I might do it for 5,000. Oh, you really stuck your nose up at Finn with his 500 and you're creeping your way down there. That's my limit. That's my limit, 5,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just want to go on a nice holiday afterwards just to sort of sleep it off. I wonder if there's any kind of emotional trauma involved

in eating someone else's poo though. It could be. I don't think so. Bisto, our rescue dog from Romania, eats his own shit and he seems absolutely fine. That's different. But I like the sentiment. Oh my God, can I just say really sad

A bit of my breast milk fell on the floor The other day, fell on the floor I don't really know how it got anyway There was some of my breast milk on the floor My mum's house She's got five dogs, two of them are Labradoros And one of them, like I've just said, eats his own shit on the regular

And I was like, when my breast milk went on the floor I was like, as I always do when something goes on the floor Come on dogs like, come and clean it up The labs were like, ew I have never, I have never seen them Ew anything I've seen them eat everything including nappies

dirty nappies I'm like right you've got no problem with it when it's been through a human but it's just the source you've got a problem with so none of the labs ate it and I was like well Bisto

my trusted friend my confid aunt he will eat it and he literally got there the dog that eats his own shit and just turn the face I put it just walked away so I was like right

well I'll just get a fucking cloth then will I get a kitchen towel what's the point I know the dogs as well that like inhaled like pill contraceptive pills yeah these are the dogs the ones that have eaten the contraceptive pills they've eaten rat poison they've eaten they eat manure they go out and eat manure every single chance they get they roll in fox shit okay I'm googling to the dogs like breast milk okay well they should they shouldn't shouldn't be drinking it

no shit out but it doesn't say anything about them not liking it. Maybe it's just your, I think it's just you. I think it's just, oh my god, your breast milk's gross, man. How much? Did you have to pay to try some of that? How much? Teaspoon? Yeah, I mean, 200. Like, I do fly 50. I do, I mean, as if I haven't already got it. Like, I didn't ever think. Yeah, I, that wouldn't take me much, I don't think. No, I could probably just buy you a pistachio question. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah. I just feel like there's not that, I don't know, breastmilk doesn't, like, freak me out that much, I don't think. I mean, I wouldn't choose it, but like, it doesn't make me...

No, if you were at, like, a breakfast buffet and all-inclusive, and it was just like, oat, soy, almond, cow, or breast. I'm going straight for the breast. Gorgeous. Okay. Good morning, everyone. Oh, I just want to say, good morning. I just want to apologize quickly if you can hear commotion in the background of my microphone.

My neighbours are still knocking down. their house and rebuilding it. Yes, it's been three months. I love how we complain about like, oh, when guests like not taking us seriously and then, you know, they don't, they don't want to come on because I don't think we're serious enough and then we're like, how much would you, how much would you have to eat my poo? You've got to balance it though, right? You've got balanced life. Light and shade. It's actually not, it's not woke to pigeonhole women. Thank you. Yes.

We aren't simply hard-hitting journalists. We are also shitting weirdos. Oh no. That's too far. I know your breastfeeding, that's so gross. No one is going to believe that was me. No one. Not one listener.

It's like, oh, I bet M did that. Anyway. Anyway, have you got anything in the emails for us? I do. I do. Let's go serious. Okay. Hi, Em and Alex.

I've been following both of you since I was in school. Cool. Wow. Wow. That is so cool. I'm struggling to watch this out. Hang on. Okay, okay. We'll have context coming up. And I can't tell you how much your work has shaped me and helped me grow into the woman I am today. Oh my God. I love that so much, but I just imagine how it's like incredibly misshaped. Because we've, do you remember the chocolates that like the cab breeze chocolates that like mischapes? They get sold as mischapes because they didn't make the cut. Like they weren't perfectly, like, shaped. I'm imagining one of those.

She's not like that. Sorry, sorry. Do you know what I mean, though? They were called misshapes. I used to buy them at an outlet centre. Yeah, they are. They're called mischapes. Oh my God.

I've never heard of them. No, but do you want to know what I've learned from my mum the other day? My mum used to work at, um, I can't remember one of the sweet manufacturers. My mom's had so many jobs. She's like Nestor and Gavin and Stacey. It's like nothing she hasn't done. Anyway, she used to work at a suite manufacturer. I can't remember which one.

The one that made wine gums. Anyway, the black wine gums aren't a colour in and of themselves. They're just an amalgamation of all the other flavours that got slightly miscoloured or went wrong and then they just melt them all down and then they just make them black. No, no. Yeah. Yep. Wait, so they don't have their own specific flavour?

No, they're just an amalgamation of all the flavours. Shut up. Fucking hell. She's such a random knowledge. It's such random knowledge. I absolutely love it. Okay. Well, there you go.

sorry back to this girl sorry sorry sorry yeah i'd really like to say just how important what you do is and how much it truly helps people oh god i feel so bad that i just burps i'm so disgustingly as well yeah and then and then called her a miss shape so actually can we just go back and do a full redo on that and say what we should have said which is thank you so much we are hugely flattered if not slightly undeserving and we love you um also i've really recently gone through a breakup and as someone who lives in a house full of boys you guys and your wonderful podcast I've really been there in some of the low moments and made me laugh when I didn't feel like I could

so thank you so much how oh my god I'm full goosebumps now my question slash dilemma is about constantly seeking male validation I've been in relationship since I was 15 I'm only 21 now which okay so she's been following us for at least three years

because she leaves school latest 18 right yeah so wow she's an og And whenever I've been single, I found it really hard to not have validation, mainly about my appearance from a man. It hasn't even been two weeks since I was broken up with and I'm still heartbroken. I'm ridiculously in love with him. Loll. I love that.

I love punctuating like trauma and heartbreak and pain with lull. That's my vibe too. But I found myself immediately going on Hinge and Tinder to find that validation. Do you have any advice for how to deal with this? Thank you. and some more lovely words okay I love her she's so nice

I would say first things first that is so fucking normal and also every fibre of my being that grew up in like the chick flick era dictates that you're doing exactly the right thing obviously my like new feminism head is like no no but instinctively

that feels right because we are taught that like when you when you get knocked down you reapply your lip gloss and you Get back up, I get locked down. But I get back in. Yeah, exactly. Like, that's how you're taught to, like, deal with, like, you get over one boy by getting under another. You know, like, we do hear all of that.

And that's because we have been taught to believe that, like, our entire worth is determined by the interests of men having us. And that comes from a, like, a sociological standpoint as much as it comes from, like, a, evolutionary one because technically at our core our point is to attract a man so we can procreate. So I think first things first, from an physiological standpoint, don't beat yourself up because it is normal. If one, if it doesn't work out with one, you've got to get back out there and make it work with another technically. Yeah. Until, until feminism enters the chat. And I guess that's where we're at now and you need to, one, the woman, kind, has to work out how to disassociate your worth from male validation, which is a huge

process in my opinion. And I don't think I'm cured. I don't think I'm cured for that. I mean either. You know, looking back, I relate a thousand percent to this girl. Like, this is exactly how I was as well. Probably still would be, honestly. Like if I suddenly became single, I imagine this is probably how I would be. I think. but actually I do think that so when I with my last relationship breakup I met Dave really shortly after like a few months after and I got on Tinder and Bumble like straight away because that felt like it felt like that's the right advice you know get over someone else by getting get over someone by getting into someone else like that kind of made sense to me yeah I get and take my mind off of it and like show me that there's like. kind of life outside of like everything I thought I knew. And in hindsight, I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I didn't, I wouldn't do it differently because I met Dave, obviously. But if I could do it and still meet Dave, I wish I'd have just given myself more time, more space and just really

being okay or like tried to get to a point where I was okay with being by myself. Actually, I'm feeling like this is two different things, not necessarily male validation, but like, I don't know, a fear of being alone. No, I think it is. But I think you have to learn to be, and I say this is someone who has never been on my own. I've been with Alex, I mean, in my adult life, I've been with Alex since I was 18. And like, I have kind of existed with the background assurance that I have this validation at the very least from him forever. So I've always had that. So I know I'm coming from a position of like,

I'm going to say privilege, for lack of another word. But like, you know, a position. I'm coming from a uniqueish position. Or not unique, but I'm coming from a certain position. But I do think whether it's through male valid, okay, the only thing I can relate this to is my jaw. And actually to my postpartum body, I've been two times in my life,

but particularly my jaw, where I felt ugly. not like oh I'm insecure like because not like I was as a teenager where I was like oh I'm so ugly and no boy's going to fancy me and that kind of insecurity I felt more like grotesque because my face was like fucked and there was no way that anybody

unless they had a real perversion for like the obscene was going to find it attractive and it did Frankenstein exactly that there will be somewhere like I had my I had a niche but I was not

the mainstream flavor du jour, you know what I mean? So I had to really sit with myself and look for my worth in other areas that weren't my appearance and that was really important a part of my life and my growth

and it is a bit different in, but it did mean that I had to look within and find, as cheesy as it sounds, a bits of myself that were really beautiful that weren't societally approved of and I think I'm not massive into journaling because I think it's a little bit wanky when I try and do it.

I don't think it's wanky when other people do when I do. I'm like, well, I feel like a knob. But taking stock in whatever form that is for you, taking stock of what your best bits are to you, like the things you really truly at your core seeing yourself, love about yourself and know to be true

the, like listening to the Megan Roseanne episode recently, like I think that's kind of what when we talked with her about like having to be sure of who you are as a person but there will be so many things about you that you can validate that you just, you'll be taking for granted, but the fact that

you're a good friend, the fact that you're funny, the fact that maybe you can cook or you're good at driving or, you know, little things that you don't feel like what a, that a massive, that Finding those things and validating yourself for those things is a really good place to start because I think then your own self-worth goes up a level. And also you can massively compliment yourself physically as well. Like I've got lovely eyes. I've got lovely this.

I've dressed really well. I've got great whatever. But as long as you can start seeing these things in yourself and you can start celebrating and acknowledging these things in yourself, I think that's a really good place to start in building your own ecosystem when it comes to. validation so you don't have to rely on on on extent coming from external sources and what I will say as well is that it is already it is so cool that you recognize this I mean she's 21 years old I'm recognizing this it's taken me till now at 34 to be like yeah do you know what like I I think there's a bit of an issue there I never saw it you know so it's so cool that you can see it and I feel like that's already like

you're already halfway there that's probably not sure but you're already a good way there you're on the way no I can't I don't know that but you are definitely on your way because that is really cool to recognize something and it's the first step to fixing anything

so I think that's really cool 100% and also just don't beat yourself up for feeling like that like you know it's it is really convoluted because we are at an age of feminism where you've got the older generation being like, cat calling's a compliment.

And you've been brought up with that school of thought of like, if a boy fancies you, he'll be mean to you. Like, the male gaze has been thrust upon you, not just in terms of the men, but in terms of how women around you have spoken about the way that men look at you. But we were joking earlier this week with Daisy about her hair because, you know, she's got like her very cool hair

that would make me look honestly so sad if I had Daisy's hair caught. I would just look, everyone would be like, whoa, what happened? Is she okay? But Daisy looks so cool. She got a little pixie cut, and my sister was like, oh, Daisy, I love your hair. And then Daisy's like, yeah, I did it last year.

But then I got into a massive spin about, am I doing this for the male gaze or whatever? And she was saying that she'd had this really big, like, internal, like, crisis about who she was cutting her hair for or growing her hair for. And that's like Daisy who is in a relationship with another woman who is not trying to find attention from men. And it's still part of her thought process. So I just, I think don't underestimate the effect that this culture has had on you.

And yeah, don't beat yourself up. And if it makes you feel good to get swiped or whatever, the kids are calling it on me apps, then go get swiped. I feel like it's not swiping anymore I know and I also feel like I was going to be like a credit card as if anyone swipes a credit card anymore we don't do that we just tap I don't even have a credit card we just double tap face ID go get face IDed

doesn't have the same ring to it go get tapped that sounds sexual that does sound sexual if you want I like it but also we love you thank you for the kind words like that's made my day I love you too thanks for being an OG let's finish off with an writing story

Okay, okay. Hi, you wonderful people, thank you. First off, let me start with this. You are, oh, okay, oh my God, more praise. I swear I haven't chosen these for the praise. I actually normally skip the first paragraph and just like read like to get to the meat of it. But no, I need it. I'm actually feeling really anxious today and that there's no point to me and that I'm just a massive waste of space. Oh my God, same. Snapsies. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Love this for us. We read the praise are we need it. how are you wonderful people first off let me start with this you are in capitals lifesavers honestly you are the in capitals one thing that can calm me down and ground me during anxious times and making me feel like things are maybe not that scary after all listening i'm actually crying oh you are how sweet oh my god this is so nice oh um listening and let's be honest laughing out loud and inappropriate places

to your banter and all the wonderful and funny interviews feels like getting a hug from great friends that is literally all we could ask for I would love to give this girl a hug I know you too I wish there was someone to hug oh

do you want to get the baby I've got boo at a hang on with my other baby oh there you go that's good you're first born come on come on she's like oh fucking hell I thought I was done with this I thought now the human one was here

you'd leave me alone no such luck my stupid human is a stupid emotional support okay look at her face she's so sick of my shit this is a tired dog okay so this is why drumroll please i present to you the most embarrassing story of my life so far in return very sorry for the length though okay buckle in backstory this happened when i was a fresh 20 something i'm 30 now and my big sister and her then fiancee now husband, my sister and her, and her, okay, lived with my parents and me for a while until they found a house of their own. I was out with friends and my sister and drinks were flowing. I was already so drunk before we even headed out of my friends home that I went through

all their stuff laughing manically. I want to know all your dirty secrets. I love her. My God. Amazing. Please note that I've been an anxious person since the day I came out of the womb, relate. So this is not at all how I would behave under normal circumstances. So far, so drunk. Good. Good. Yep. We then headed to the city but had to put in a pit stop because I needed the loo. Sadly, the public toilets were down a long flight of stairs and clumsy and drunk as I was. I tumbled down those stairs and apparently took my sister along with me. I've got no recollection of this, but I have to believe the bruises I had the next day and my friend's explanation of events. we were all fine but not only are their CCTV cameras there

but a guy I had a huge crush on at the time so the whole thing and I tried to act like nothing at all just happened nope the embarrassment does not end there as I was too drunk for anything my sister had our dad pick us up to go home once we got there I proceeded to go to the downstairs bathroom to pee slash poo who knows

and simultaneously I love that surprise and and simultaneously throw up in the sink next to me at this point all I wanted was my bed which was up two flights of stairs from where I was so I jiggled on trying to get up there as better as I could

about halfway which I found weirdly hard to do so I decided to go on all fours I realized amid my drunkenness that I had not pulled my pants up not even my undies and she was on all fours and my bum was just out there for all to see and who was there to witness the whole ordeal

yes of course my sister's fiancé I've no idea how I made it to bed in the end not to mention how I survived to look my sister's now husband in the eyes ever again but so far I lived and I'm very proud of that if not the events themselves so there you have it I'm thankful I at least managed to wipe my bum oh my god okay so it was a poo that's it was a but I need I need to know where he was standing because if she was crawling naked up the stairs that is cheeks parting up up he's got the view from below the vibe i'm getting is that he was standing below hence why she was happy that she'd

wiped her button he saw a sphincter oh my god this episode is so sphincter heavy this episode sponsored by sphincters much for all your restricting needs um bless her bless her not idea Honestly, falling down the stairs is one of the funniest and most embarrassing things that can happen to a human being. They're standing and then they're going. Like, they're up and then they're down. It's, like, I remember I did a thing. Actually, it's been a long time. It's been a long time.

I'm going to see if I can do it again. I did a thing on my Instagram a couple of years ago of, do you remember when I fell? I don't know if you remember this, very specific, I fell on a run and I tried to get, I've got a scar on my shoulder still from it. I tried to get the CCTV footage and I couldn't get it. And then my followers started sending me CCTV footage of them falling. Oh my gosh, stunning. And one girl sent it of her falling down the stairs. And every time I'm, the poor woman, every time I'm sad, I watch it.

You love that stuff. You're sick. I live for it. I live for it. You are the kind of person that loved, oh my God, what was it called? You got framed. You've been framed. Yeah.

Do you know me and my brother used to try and set each other up for youth and frame? Oh my God, you're sick. You're sick. You're sick. No, no, we'd try and like stage it like, we'd act. Like, we'd be skateboarding and then I'd be like, okay, I'm going to throw myself off and then we could send it and make 250 pounds. It's sticking to my brother's theory, and there's nothing that he wouldn't do for 500 pounds. Oh, that I would love to see the footage of that. Oh, no, just watch us. Oh, no, I've fallen. How embarrassing. silly old me what am i like i'm so embarrassed oh no you filmed it also it wasn't like in the day where you might just coincidentally be filming something on an iphone like you're there with

the vcr yes yeah yeah yeah like a proper with your hand like yeah through the little through the velcro yeah no i hate i hated you've been framed i hated it i couldn't bear watching i felt sick to my stomach what why because i because i knew something was about to happen bad to these people and I just couldn't bear it I was like oh my god you've got no idea what's coming and it's something bad and like oh there it is I hated it oh my god I live for it you're up and then bam you down it's a metaphor for life I do I watch too much casualty as a child because the other day like I saw a little girl like like bicycly it was the most idyllic picturesque scene on a Sunday morning of a little girl cycling around like sort of just out of her front door and her dad was up a ladder

and I just looked and I was like something is about to go terribly wrong Emma it didn't I mean you're not wrong but that is so casualty I know that I couldn't watch either because it's like oh let's start off

the episode with like they're hanging out and their home having a lovely time lovely happy family suddenly like bam don't get attached honestly at the minute like there were any

like she's picked up a pair of sisters I'm like what you're fucking curtains for you horrendous you're out it's been nice knowing you scissors idiot

okay well there you go anyway thank you all for listening I'm going to say sick and perverted but I actually I'm going to retract I'm not I co-sign that I'm not a pervert you are sick though undoubtedly thank you all for listening

remember to submit your own is it just means or embarrassing stories if you'd like on the Instagram account at should I delete that or you can email your submissions to should I delete that pod at gmail.com and we will see you on Monday. See you on Monday. Love you loads.

Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.