Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: I'm gonna get a big Thai

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

In this week's IIJM, the girls discuss loggy logs, staring at the dentist and refusing chivalry...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi. Hello. I'm going to kick us off with an embarrassing story and the subject of this email is Loggy log. Luggy log. Which only means one thing. It is. Poo.

No log. Oh, log. I know what this is. I know what this is. I know what this is. Why? This woman, we met her at the live show. And she said she had a really embarrassing story.

that she'd always been too scared to tell anybody. And she decided that she was so buoyed by the bravery of everybody else at the show. She said she'd write in. That she was right in. And now she's done it. Okay. Okay. I'm excited.

We'll know because the subject line will say log. Okay. I'm really excited. I haven't read it yet. Okay. Hey, Em and Alex. Okay. I nearly just said her name now.

I'm really pleased I didn't. I remember this girl. And here's the most embarrassing story ever. And here's your name and address. Hey, I'm and Alex. Okay, so I wrote this on the train home from the live show. Buckle up for my most embarrassing poo-related story. My boyfriend used to live in a flat alone,

which was on a very long road with an Indian restaurant at the end, and I had a spare key. One day, I went for a curry with my friend, and as I came out, I thought, ooh, that's gone straight through me. I knew my boyfriend was out for another couple of hours, and I had the spare key, so I thought I'd pop in for a sneaky poo,

a dump and run, if you will, or so I thought. Unfortunately, I blocked the toilet. I'm talking for flushes and it refused to go. down when I wasn't even meant to be there. I was sweating with panic that he would come home any minute to this and had to go to great lengths to make the what can only be described as ginormous poo go away. Details of how I did it, I simply cannot divulge for my own dignity. I did eventually manage it and left the bathroom squeaky clean, feeling quite pleased of myself to have sidestepped what could have been a very embarrassing welcome home greeting.

Skip to three days later, we've been out drinking and when we got to his, the alcohol really hit me. So with the Dutch courage, I told him the story of the sheer panic I had at blocking his toilet. For context, I had been with my boyfriend for one year at this point and was still keeping up the facade that I do not fart nor poo. Okay. The response I was met with, three words that will forever haunt me, as he said, in capitals, that was you. The alcohol in my system meant I couldn't quite comprehend what he went on to tell me at first. I thought he was joking as he described coming home on that evening and being extremely confused as to how the biggest shit he'd ever seen

was at the bottom of his toilet. He described it as impressive, so impressive that he actually believed only his brother could be capable of it and had done this as a prank. Needless to say, I sobered up very quickly as I realised he was being serious. So not only did he know I use his flat sneakily

for a poo, but he'd actually seen my poo in the flesh. I was fucking mortified, but just thankful that he hadn't taken a picture of it like he was going to to send to his brother. Can you imagine the shame? We are still in a very happy relationship four years on however my nickname forever more is log or any variation that he can come up with for example logo loggy logzilla the lognev lognes monster the list is endless and the what's up search

for the word log must be well over a thousand i will never live it down it's not even become a term of endearment though and i would not be surprised if it makes its way into the speeches at our future wedding what a joyous occasion that will be i hope this gave you a laugh and well done for an amazing live show oh no i want to know how she thought she'd got rid of it Because I imagine that she'd have had to break it up to, you know, get it gone. I know I wouldn't know how she got rid of it. Well, she didn't get rid of it. She said it, well, she, yeah, she didn't.

Oh. Just as well it was just a poo and not a proper crime. If you'd committed a murder, you wouldn't have done it very subtly. I'd rather someone saw my murder than my poo. I'd rather go to prison for murder than have somebody see my poo. Why am I sitting like a gang member? Sitting in the corner, I'm talking about murder.

There's nothing, there is nothing worse. When you do a poo, you flush it and then you just see it like, whoo. Come back up. Like, nope. I'm rebounding. Now today. Try again, bitch. I know.

What my girl should have called her poo. A poo meringue. That's really good. Thanks. Okay. That's really good. I have a very niche, but incredibly relatable. Is it just me?

Okay. Is it just me that finds being on the same gym equipment as someone next to me incredibly awkward? Yesterday I was on the rower to the guy next to me and matched his speed to my... Sorry, and the guy next to me matched his speed to mine for a while, but then he got out of sink and really put off my face. That's so much pressure. You end up in basically a rowing race or a running race with the person next to you.

For absolutely zero reason. Absolutely no. It's like chill all around you, apart from you to like, rapidly going at it. Yeah, I get that. I mean, I don't actually go to gyms and have to use the equipment. No. But I understand that that's a very stressful thing.

It's like when you overtakes, oh God, is it anything worse? And when you overtake someone. Oh. And then you know you set a pace and you've got to keep that pace up. And then you can fill them behind you. And it's like, oh, fuck off. Yeah. But Alex, Alex doesn't experience this anxiety.

It's so annoying. He just lives his life. Just like, oh, I'll just overtake this person. And then if they overtake me again, so be it. No, Alex. not so be it. It's not, do not let it be. Don't forget. No, like, he overtook somebody at the day and then stopped right in front

of them to adjust the buggy and I was like, let it go. Whatever. Oh my God. Yeah, the muslin was about to fall to the ground. I was like, ignore it. Alex, you're a psychopath. Let them trample it. We don't need this muslin. Fuck this muslin. Like, no, awkwardness prevails. We must keep moving at all costs. Let anything else go.

You're going to trip over your show notes. Just risk it. That wasn't right. It wasn't right. No, it was so inconsiderate. Oh, so inconsiderate. He just doesn't understand. And then I'm like, keep going. And he's like, why are you so stressed? I'm like, just keep going.

Like, what are you doing? Just stopping. And he was like, but I talk to him as if we're being chased. I'm like, they're gaining on us. He's like, what do you mean they're gaining on us? They're gaining on us. I hate people walking behind me. I really hate it.

But more from a safety issue. It just freaks me out. Oh, I just hate it on every level. I just, like, anyone walking behind really upsets me. I've either got to walk very quickly or go to a complete stop so they can overtake me depending on my time. Like, I hate it. But I don't like being chased, do you?

Like, who's chased? Obviously not. Who likes being chased? I don't like being chased. Do you? Yeah, I fucking love it. Chase me guys. You know, when you were kids and you would be like, chase me.

And I would be like, that is the last thing I want you to do to me. I'm sure I've told you this. I do not feel like being chased ever. My mom used to chase us up the stairs at bedtime. And she'd go with her little pints of hands and she'd go, like up the stairs by it's going like my sister can do the noise perfectly and it puts the absolute

fucking fear up her asses because she'd run up behind it's going blah blah blah like to tickles and I'm sure that's where our fear of like if you watch me and Katia we'll do anything to avoid being the last one like being the first through the door because Alex the gentleman that he is

instinctively goes to like let me into room first and I'm like no you go ahead of me what he's scared of in there you go ahead Why do you want to send me into the lion's den? We don't know what we're walking into. Be my armour. Dave and I do that thing where you, whoever goes at first on the stairs,

you put your finger up the bum. I can't stand it. I really hate it. I hate it until it's me doing it and I find it fucking hilarious. But we literally have this dance as we go to walk up the stairs. I'm like, you go. He's like, you go, you go, you go. Then you have to walk up with your hands covering your bum.

So, so annoying. No. you're just like oh oh anyway I feel like I killed that combo no

it's just yeah yeah yeah it's a bit weird yeah but Dave charges through crowds

like so he charges like I thought you were still on the bottle Dave charges through my pants it's like oh good charges straight through my pants he has entered oh very bad no he charges through crowds like he overtakes

a man has never walked so fast in your like his his walk is my it's a good jog for me to keep up with him and I walk far I walk really fast but I cannot he's probably scared you're going to slip a finger up he's got to keep the cheeks close together waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle flies it's so annoying I've told you that Alex came second in a national speedwalking competition

oh yeah maybe him and day should go through a crowd bouncing together someday. Snake hits. Shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo, shoo. But sometimes, like, I am an A to B kind of person. You know me, I do not like to wonder. No, we did wonder today. We wondered back for a bagel. I couldn't believe it. I said, do you want to go back for a bagel?

And you were like, yes. And we just went back for a bagel. Yeah, actually, that was pretty good. Yeah, it was nice. But normally, I do not like to wonder. But sometimes, I'm like, you know, if you're like, I don't know, something scenic or you're in a city and it's, you know, and you want to have a look at stuff. And I'm like, Dave, can we just walk at a normal pace so I can look at things. What do you like to look at? I can't imagine you like looking at many things.

See, I like walking through like stimulates, like cities and things that are going to be stimulating. Not like a forest or a park. Like what? Green, green, green, green, green, green, green, green, green, green, green, green. I can't, I can't. There's nothing to see. I need like life. Yeah.

People. Yeah. Places. Concepts. Stimuli. Yeah, fine. Anyway. Nice.

We should get you an AI. We could just. Yeah, that'd be quite good actually What's it called VR? Yeah, that'd be quite good actually I imagine you're a very stressful VRer Why? Well, it's a very stressful...

Oh my God, we have done it We did it, and my hendee, you hated it Did we? Yes, we did, we put those masks on And we went into VR At the arcade Oh, yeah, no, oh no, it was fun Oh, it was quite fun

You look very, I've got a face of you looking very stressed Very stressed Yeah, I was on the edge of the earth I was about to fall off So of course I was stressed well you want you to be calm about that oh yeah no I have to say I've slowed

I've slowed down somewhat since having a baby and national speedwalking now he just leaves me for dust and I have to just it's degrading I have to be like just slowed down a bit and it's like oh for God said that's embarrassing like nothing worse

than being unfit and I say that as the most unfit I've ever been I'm like oh Christ like just embarrassing and I've just embarrassed myself like just not being able to walk You know what I mean? When I can't run, I'm like, well, fair enough, I'm trying to run. But if I can't walk, I'm like, what's wrong with me?

But, yeah, I'm on the way back. I mean, it looks quite hard to walk with the carrier, with the baby. Like, that feels like it would hurt the back of it. Yeah, I'm going to be, she's slowing me down. Yeah. She's slowing me down. But I can't. She's got to come.

You can't leave her at home. No, no. I did ask, but apparently that's not the darn thing. No, they come. With babies. Yeah, they've got to come. They come. It's weird, actually, because I've had a dog for, like,

eight years so I'm like oh yeah she can do like a couple of hours at home on her own babies I was like I'm like well you're coming I suppose yeah just can't you just can't you no no god no absolutely not absolutely not no no no just in case you ever are in charge of Arlo just just so it don't leave house don't she when you go she goes she's completely completely incompetent she can do nothing by herself so you just you got eyes on okay thanks and hands on good to know yeah And strapped in to everything. Yes, yes. Yeah.

Oh yeah, you don't want to roll over. She is nearing a roll. We are so close. I am on edge. I am permanently. She's been, if sedentary has been good. And she is getting active. She's getting distracted.

Yeah. Oh, shit. It all starts apparently from that. It's all kicking off, yeah. Buckle up. I'm debating whether or not to read this one. Well, obviously you have to read it now. Well, it's going to cringe you out.

Oh, good. And it's going to cringe me out as well. But it's really nice. Okay. Okay, I'll just do it quickly and we'll see. Subject is live show love. Okay. Dear Alex M and Daisy, happy birthday.

We did mention it the live show that it was on your birthday. Yeah. Why didn't you tell us that it was on your birthday? Did you find the email? No. Oh. I was looking for the email. Oh.

We've got to support the surprise. We got you a delivery voucher for your birthday. That's so nice. I'm going to get a big tie. cool oh my god m that's so mean what

I feel more embarrassed of the thing I just did well because I was like I wish there'd be a camera on you wait that's so nice hang on what do you mean it was mean

you just lassoed the air and went I'm gonna get a big tie and I'm mean for laughing yeah my birthday mom I'm sorry I'm gonna be tired

see it's catchy I'm going to get actually the songwriter of our generation. Maybe. You didn't whip that out. Really quickly. He's a little something she'd been working. I'm going to get a big tie. I wish there's a camera on her.

That's really embarrassing. I'm sorry. You've got to know how to be last there. I'll find the voucher. It was sent you a work email address. I probably. I didn't look at. I'll look.

I'll find it. Don't worry. We'll find it. Anywho. Okay. I'm going to. get a big tie. We need photos

about pink this tires. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen you do. It was the last thing. That's also like it, I think, I'm going to get it a big tie. The most normal me thing I've ever done. I'm going to get a big time.

Loved it. Got her a flag. It's probably. It is probably. month to be fair we'll give you a pass on the cringe I don't deserve it I'm gonna get a big tie any who any who I want to put into words how I'm feeling after your live show it was the first time in my life I have come out to an event or anything like this on my own and I have come away feeling quite emotional in a good way lol I was quite nervous going in finding somewhere to sit

where it wouldn't be obvious I'm on my own but I needn't have been so nervous I met the most lovely person who had also befriended another person on her own. They were so sweet and made me feel normal and relaxed. Hopefully they're listening so I can pass on my gratitude as we got split up at the end. I absolutely loved the show and the sense of togetherness you brought at the end with the hands up. The stories were hilarious and I will forever in my mind envisaged the woman with her palms on the floor and the woman with her knees to the wall. If you know, you know, you know.

I couldn't have had my first time alone at a better event. I'd love if you could read this out on the podcast even though I know it's a bit gushy. You never stop what you're doing. Thank you. I weep. I had some tears. Are you crying? Yes, I am.

It's just really nice. That is really nice. Particularly because I'm such a coward. I don't know if I would go on my own. So I literally admire people that did. We met so many people at the end who'd come on their own. I know. And then you've got DM to do it.

It's so nice. Like it's so cool. And I fucking love it when women do shit on her own. And when I see a woman eating on her own, I'm like, get it, bitch. I know. I would love it. Would you? What's stopping you out?

Yeah. I don't know. Social. Nothing. Being scared to go to the road at my own. No, I would love to. Sarah went to the theatre on her own. I'd like to do that.

I'd quite like to do that because sometimes I get a bit nervous. You know when there's something you really want to see? And you take someone, and unless there's someone really on your wavelength with it, you need to sit next to somebody that you need to not sit next to no. Because I feel, I think it's a people pleaser. I need to make sure the person next to me is enjoying it as much as me. And I want to, like, gauge their reaction. If it was my idea for us to go, I'm like, are they enjoying it?

and then I'm rooting for the actors or whatever and I'm like, I really hope that the person I'm with likes the actors as much as me and I hope they can see that they're doing a good job and then I feel like I need to defend the actor and I'm like, why do I need to defend the actor? I don't even know the actors, but I get myself in a real state and then by then I've not been able to enjoy the show because I've ever thought it all so much.

So I do think that might be quite a relief. Maybe you would like to go to something alone together so we could just go and sit by ourselves and then we convene at the end. Yeah, that would be fun. Yeah, so then there's like no, it's a sort of like halfway thing and then there's no pressure. The only thing that's a bit much for me right now

having just had a baby, if I keep thinking, like, I can't go out alone because it feels like a bit of a fuck you to Arlo. Do you know what I mean? Like, if I go out of my friends, I'm like, well, you understand. I've got friends. You know, you get it. But if I'm just like, so I just go by myself, she'll be like, right. So it's a choice between me and you or just you, and you weren't for just you. So I feel like I can't do that right now. But if I told her I was going with you, and I just didn't tell her that I was sitting by myself, I don't think she'd mind. But also, she'd be like, no you have your alone time you get your alone time we all need alone time she's probably like can you just give me a fucking minute as we've just talked about she doesn't get a lone time you can't

she's probably desperate for it she's like just go to the fucking shop I'm fine please leave me at home I'm an introvert I need to recharge bitch she's an aquarium she probably does oh bless her oh she's a Dave she's a date oh don't call her a Dave sorry I'm sorry yeah it's kind of ruined her there to be fair oh no that's the loveliest message really really really sweet thank you thanks for coming thanks for loving it thanks for messaging

thanks for making us read us out read it out bit cringe love that right this is something this is something that I have done on my Instagram numerous times this is a question I've raised this is something that is dividing the nation and it still never I still don't know the answer okay okay

is it just me yeah I was at the dentist yesterday just a checkup a polish. Lying on the chair, mouth open, it suddenly dawned to me how awkward the whole situation was. When the dentist is doing stuff inside your mouth, obviously your mouth needs to be open, but what about when they switch the instruments or have temporarily left your mouth clear? Do you keep your mouth open? Or do you close your mouth? Why is this so awkward? And is it just me who takes the most benign situation and overthinks it and then is paralysed by embarrassment and not knowing what to do. So frozen, open mouth like a chick

awaiting food. Okay, I'm going to get technical. I think you need to gauge the pause. If it's literally a banged one tool down, pick up a little, go straight back in, don't close your mouth. But if they're taking a second to do something or like swap for a more serious tool, like changing your goddamn heads on the thing, then close your mouth. See, I thought she was going to ask about your eyes. When you're at the dentist, eyes open or closed. And I've heard from a lot of dentists saying please, please, please shut your eyes. Herdresses say close your eyes as well when they're washing your hair. I can't close my eyes.

Physically I am able, but it sends me into such a panic having my eyes closed. It's the stupidest thing. If I close my eyes, instantly I panic. I hate having my eyes. I hate this. I hate this. Anything could be happening. I hate it.

Yeah, that's why you never sleep with an eye mask on. And I get very bored. So when they always say close your eyes, I'm like, okay. And I think I've tricked them. And there's a little bit left in there. Because obviously, even when I'm having my eyelashes tinted, I still keep them over it. Yeah, because I don't like it.

I feel very vulnerable. I remember when I used to get false extensions, lash extensions, and you cannot, I mean, I don't know how damaging it is to open your eyes, but they were like, you cannot open your eyes. Like, this glue is so toxic. All that would make me want to do is open my eyes. Obviously. Obviously.

But it's like, it takes an hour and a half. And you have to stave off so many panic attacks because you're like, I've definitely gone blind now. Yeah. I will open my eyes and there will be nothing. Yeah, I don't know. I hate him. I had operations on my eyes when I was little

because I had my squint. I was gorgeous. Everybody's a sexy baby. Is that what Taylor Swift said? Everybody apart from me. Because I was cross-eyed. And I still have my squint when I get tired. And maybe it's come from that

because I had to have my eyes closed as a kid a lot. And my eyes looked at, I don't know. But I just, I hate it. I hate it so much. So at the dentist, they say close your eyes. I'm like, no, I don't care that we're all awkward as shit. I'm keeping them over. But I want to see what you do.

I want to keep my eyes on you. Even when I had my jaw surgery, the second one, which I was awake for, kept it open the whole time. Did you? Yeah. Fuck that. I could see, I could see my own nose because they had to move my nose, like the skin of my nose off the bone.

Oh, no, M. I could see it out of the corner of my eye. I was going to look my nose. Oh, my God, that's gone all the way through. It was absolutely wrang. It was like, it's like shifted my face up out the way. I peeled it all the way back and I could just seen the top of my lip. Stop it.

Oh, my God. How traumatizing this might be for you to hear about my pain? I'm so sorry. for you hearing about my peely face oh god they peels your face back okay there's anything else I can't take it I have to have the rest of the screws removed so do you

yes I do can they have an assess it this time though I don't know I haven't asked I'm avoiding this I have got my head in the sand I'm not surprised I am pretending it isn't happening sometimes I get this raging toothache on the left hand side and I just think I'm not dealing with that

I know full well that's a screw pushing into a nerve what I don't know can't harm me and I swear to God one day I'm going to wake up with a screw sticking out my gum I just know it it's going to come out and I'm going to look hopefully we're not on the studio when that happens yeah but I was thinking I could just add a little diomonte gem to the end and it'll look like one of those old piercings that we used to get in the noughties like a little chin piercing bring it back bring it back everyone no no just on your own you could have done that that would have been kind I actually didn't know what you're going to get a big tie I'm going to get a big tie

We need to find that voucher so she can get a big tie. We better go so that Daisy can get a big tie. We need a video of you doing that for the Instagram. I'm going to get a big tie. Just kidding.

So shy. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being with us. Thanks for listening. We will see you on a Monday. And shut your eyes. Date is going to go to Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.