Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Intrusive thoughts

Episode Date: January 25, 2024

On this week's IIJM, the girls discuss deleted texts, your intrusive thoughts and the BEST advice Alex has ever received...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome back to Should I Delete That. I'm M. Clarkson. I'm Alex Light. And we've got a great episode for you today. But before we get into that, I just have to read something out to you that is going to make... You feel sorry for me. Alex, you did something really bad to me yesterday. Me?

Yeah, you did. You did something really bad. What did I do? I think you know. So yesterday I get a notification on my phone I get two on the bounce This message was deleted

This message was deleted Ignore me Enjoy the 10K So I was at work yesterday I was running a 10K for work Right I was busy I got into the car To two deleted messages

And ignore me Enjoy the 10K I'm like what the fuck has happened I replied Oh no Now I'm anxious What have you deleted This is the worst

I feel sick. Where are you? Tell me right now. You're like, oh, God, sorry. I wrote it before realizing you were with the hags. You still didn't tell me what it was. It's like, brilliant. Thanks so much.

Honestly, I was sitting in the car. I was like, she's been cancelled? Has she gone into labour? I don't know. It was fucking horrifying. I'm so sorry. And then it was so boring. It was about work and scheduling.

And I know what you do. And I know you do that nice thing where you go like, I won't worry her with it. So I'll just delete it. But it makes me so much more worried. Okay. I should have kept. it okay you should have kept it. I felt really bad because it was boring work scheduling stuff

I wrote it and then I looked on Instagram and I was like oh fuck I saw your stories and I was like oh fuck she's she's doing the 10k so I'll give her a fucking heart attack that seems like a nice thing to do never delete you know what I do this and then when people delete stuff with me I'm exactly the same I'm like what the fuck have you deleted that yeah because what like I do apologize I endeavor never to delete again obviously and I'm pretty like secure in our friendship And I do think like I shouldn't be Well that's it

I'm kind of I kind of know that occasionally you probably do like slag me off to your sister's slash Dave Maybe Daisy I don't know I kind of I made my piece with that

But I don't want to read it So like it's kind of like Outside out of mind I was like I'm probably in But then yesterday I was like What is it And I assumed it must have been terrible Because that's where your mind goes

And then it wasn't So you just give me a heart So you thought I was slagging you off and then I slugging you off to you. Well, that's obviously like that's everybody's worst nightmare, isn't it? Like... Yes, I would die. Yeah. Yes, no.

I'm currently juggling a hindo... I'm not slugging you off, don't right? That's okay. I mean, you can. Just do it behind my back like a normal person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if you do it, do it your fucking chest and don't delete. Don't delete it.

Do you know what I mean? Doubles out. Yeah, and I meant it. You really are a slag. I won't delete. I'm sorry. it's so annoying when people do that it was it was very stressful sorry okay it's okay i shan't do that again thank you so you bet you will i was trying to save you but actually i'm idiot

you tortured me i'm sorry okay oh i shan't i shan't it again that's okay um i am very excited for this yeah me too intrusive thoughts let's go episode let's go before we start do you have personally any intrusive thoughts do you have like a recurring intrusive thought not i think I think I have a lot of intrusive thoughts, but like not a recurring one, not a specific prominent. Do you? Yeah, when I'm driving. And it's like, sometimes I get it where I'm like, oh my God, what would happen if I just drove into Central Reservation? And then I get, the second I even like begin thinking the thought, my hands go like prickly. Yeah. Like prickly. I get that, right? I think about that sometimes but then I always remember someone saying to me when I was riding a bike like when

you're riding. Who was talking to you as you were riding a bike? This sounds like something that happened in the dream. I don't remember. I think I was panicking about riding a bike. I was panicking about going into some things. That sounds more realistic. Yeah, probably. I was 25 and I was panicking about going through a smallish space and hitting something by the side and they said the best advice is if you don't want to hit something Drive towards it If that's where this sentence is going I'm going to need it to stop

No no no no no no they said Completely ignore what you don't want to drive into Good idea! Good idea mystery person Focus on the space that you are driving truth as if you're repeating this advice is the most obvious this is an advice

this is just how you be alive I've always thought that was like the best advice no good advice you can look both ways before you cross the road or like

I don't know tie your shoelaces up before you go walking this surely isn't good advice I think about this like every time I drive I'm like wow such good advice

I'm not going to focus on the pavement or the sexual reservation I'm going to focus on the road I'm not a good idea it's only just occurring to me that it's pretty obvious yeah just a bit

Oh no, I've ruined my highliner. Oh. When you're driving? Focus on the road. Whoa. I just blown your mind. Have a bit. Oh my God.

They should write that down. I can't even defend myself. I don't even know where this. I just thought it was so good. Oh, God, I'm going to be sick. The thing is, it is quite good. It's your baby. Yeah, for like, idiots.

Oh, my God. Just don't crash into the wall, yeah. Keep your eyes on the road when you're driving, yeah? Yeah, it's pretty good. Thank God for that mystery person. I don't know where we'd be without them. I mean, whatever I was coming from,

as I was saying, whenever I think, don't drive into the pavement or don't drive into the Central Reservation, I just focus straight ahead. And I don't look at it. And I don't look at either of those things. And then I know I won't go into them.

This is such an annoying episode, but people to listen to us. Sorry. I was weird. I'm sorry. It's just really stupid. It's so stupid. So stupid.

I don't want to take it all back. Nope. No, no. You know what? No. Okay. It's got you this far. And so far.

So touch wooden whistle. Mind Joe, you don't see you on a bike much. I'm not sure it gets as much. No, because I bumped into something and never went back on. You did? Despite the advice. So it doesn't even fucking work.

Also, yeah, it'd be like, obviously it doesn't. It doesn't work. Obviously it doesn't work. Don't look at the thing you don't want to hit. No. I mean, okay, maybe it works better in a bike than in a car. Your bike probably follows where your head's going. In a car. That's absolutely not the case. No. No. Well, no. It's the same principle, right? Steering. No. Because if you look right when you're on the bike, you're going to go right because you'll be leaning right. Yeah, because your whole body. Yeah. Things have gone pretty wrong if that's happening while you're driving. You know what? Every time we talk about you driving, I get further and further away from ever wanting to get in a car with you. Honestly, I don't blame you. I'm about as far from it now as I've ever been. We were driving the other day.

I was driving with Dave and I was driving. I don't know why. And it was been raining and there was like a puddle. And I just, but like a very big puddle. Like a lake. It's actually the size of a lake. And I just went all the way. through it and there were two lanes and I could have moved over to the other lane and

Dave was like what are you doing and we drove directly through the puddle quickly um did you aquaplane no I panicked and I just I was I think I was the car cool you just kept going we just kept going you didn't but he held his breath and then I was like oh what am I doing I held my breath but luckily we're okay and shut my eyes literally it's like why am I just driving through a lake I don't know how it happened but I once got onto the side of TikTok. I am still there. I didn't know what I said I once was.

I'm still on the side of TikTok where I watch cars drive through puddles that are too big. Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah. Why, what happens to them? The engine's flood. Oh, seriously? Yeah, but I like, I really enjoy watching it.

They're called Fords, like the river, like, where you can drive through. And when they get, like, too flooded, you're not supposed to drive through them. And I'm on the side of TikTok where I just watch cars drive through them. Oh, that sounds quite fun. It's more interesting than what it sounds. I like, I like,

I like the videos where people You know the bollards that go up in city centres And they go down for buses, don't they? And people try and get through on the back of buses Try and, is it tailgates? Yeah, that's hilarious. I've never seen those. It's so funny.

And they try really quickly to like buzz right behind the bus But it never, they never works. And they always get caught out. And then they're like, fuck my car. And I'm like, yes, well, that's what happens. If you break the law. Exactly. I saw a man yesterday scoot through on the tube

behind someone else I was like wow what a hero that is bold I know that is so bold I know honestly I was like

I tip my hat to you sir I could never I know and I was like and you've got to do that on the other side because once you're in you're in

you're in so you know you've got to do it again and if you're caught you're in big trouble how big like fine big oof like a hundred pound big

I think yeah pulled that on my eyes it would be more embarrassed yeah than anything else yeah that is very

To be caught, because it's so smooth when it goes right, but being caught, it's like, ah, shucks. Sometimes you see it at Waterloo, there's, like, non-uniformed. Are there? Yeah, yeah. You're observant. I know, and they're checking everyone's tickets. Yeah, so always buy a ticket. You know what?

Always buy tickets. They're hundreds of pounds. Pisses me off so much. The train, like, I don't understand how we can charge that much for trains. I just don't, I don't understand. I remember when I used to be able to go 20 quinn and back, in a, and, and, and, and, and, in and out of London. Ridiculous.

I can understand why cigarettes and chocolate get more expensive, but I cannot understand why trains get more expensive. It's the same train on the same tracks, doing the same journey as what it's always done. And it's, and I went Edinburgh on the train once, and I didn't even get a seat. I bought a ticket, hundreds of pounds. That's horrific.

And I had to stand, and I was going up there to run the marathon, yeah. And I said it to the person, I was like, I've got to run a marathon when I get there. Fuck that. They didn't give a single shit. Oh my God, no way. But how can they do that? It's an absolute Swiss.

that's bad. They should put people who can't sit then in first class or whatever. I concur. This is the sort of thing that annoys me. Like, I understand that Sadiq Khan has got his work cut out trying to make traffic in London.

Like, I can see that that's a problem. Like, and I'm like, I wouldn't have a clue. How to this, I can see that that's a complicated thing. But the train thing to me, it's like... Yeah, I'd like to know. Do more. Do better. Also, I spent 112 pounds to go to Liverpool on Saturday. both trains were cancelled

fuck off and you don't get a refund both trains cancelled you can get a refund but then you can't yeah you can but then you obviously can't travel so I just had to get different trains

and I had to get like three chain change trains fucking nightmare yeah we have taken oh my god deterrent detergent detours

detours I was like I know what you mean deterrence. Detergents. I digress. We digressions. Okay, that's it. Deviated.

We deviated. That's a lovely word. We haven't done one intrusive before. We've done yours. Yeah, we've done mine. No, wait, we didn't even do yours. We did mine. We did yours.

I solved it for you. You're welcome. Thank you. Such good advice. I'll never have it again. I'll just ignore the central reservation. So, silly scenarios, our weird brains put us through for no apparent reason. So this is a very common one.

we asked for your intrusive thoughts on Instagram this is a very common one what if I just drop this entire baby and this is obviously for parents actually not just parents higher stakes if you just don't drop if you drop someone else's kid yeah that's not

because I haven't dropped all I once which feels I nearly dropped her yesterday actually but I didn't she started wriggling but I haven't yeah no I haven't dropped her yet and so I feel like that actually that's quite comforting it happens a lot

less than what you think about how much of my life I'm spent holding one yeah I don't drop the ratio is fantastic it's very very good yeah yeah touch yeah touch wood yeah it does seem to be quite good arms who hands who knew good um what if I just open the car door on the motorway I've done it have you not the motorway but I've done it on there you've opened the car on the door yeah but that's my that there's something wrong with me Why did you do that? Oh, I don't know this. I don't know.

There's just some stuff that I'm like, ha ha ha ha. Did you think it was locked and you thought you'd test it? Because I can see that happening. But I can't see you just opening at all. I just wanted to see. I just wanted to see it.

I don't think we're going that fast. I do it quite often. Who was driving? I can't even remember. Probably Alex and my mom. No, I felt my mom would have been angry with me. Just driving along and then you opened the door. I didn't do it on the motorway.

I didn't do it on the motorway. It might be my mom. The thing is my mom just looks at me so like, when I do stuff like that, like, oh, why? So, yeah, it's really hard to open, though, because you're going quite fast, so wind. You can't just, you can't just go out. So that's the story. You just open, like, where you're safe?

Yeah, and then close it on. It's fine. I didn't open it massively. I just was like, how I wanted to see it happens? But also, I mean, if it was Alex in my 20s. But this is, that's the sort of thing that I kind of love. Like that's the kind of, that's where I get my kicks. I don't do drugs.

I don't drink that much. I just, I get my little kicks from just doing stuff I sort of know I shouldn't. That might kill you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, fair. Yeah. Like sticking your fingers in the blender.

Exactly that. And then I touched an electric fence once just to see, I flew. Did you? Flew. I was like 11 or 12. I went like four feet back. Oh my God, I always wanted to know. My whole arm went dead.

It was really bad. And now I have like an irrational fear of electric fences. I was with my friend. I was with my friend and I was trying to be really low. I was like, I was like, look, it's not going to hurt that much. And I flew. I went side flew.

Yeah. I remember, I went like on my bomb. I was like, and I had to pretend that it hadn't really hurt. And my whole arm was dead. It was dead for ages. That's so embarrassing. I know, it didn't even help him by accident. Like, it was fully like, it's not going to hurt.

Watch this. Oh, I remember it really clearly. And now, my mum's rescued chickens, and they've put an electric fence around it. And, like, that's a chicken electric fence. So it's not the same as the one that I touched. Like, it probably wouldn't even... But I am so irrationally scared of it.

Like, when I climb over it, I literally... It's like I'm trying to like clear like a high jump. See, I thought that maybe they would just, they said they were electric fences, but it was a lie to deter people. You can hear it, you can hear it clicking. If it's on, you can hear it clicking. Oh, the amount I'd pay to have the footage of the high.

I know. Just like, watch an old cocky, watch this. It won't even hurt. You know, knowing my tragic little self, I probably said something like, no, I actually kind of like it. Like, no, I do sort of like, I love it, yeah. Yeah, that's, yeah, that sounds about right for me. So tragic.

I'm out of breath. Okay. My brain goes, eat it. This is in capital. Eat it. Try it. When I dish up the dog's raw food every day. Oh, my God.

I've not had that one. Have you ever a buttonat box? Yes, because that smells delicious. You fucking have one, that's disgusting. Delicious. And it's also for, like, it's humans. It's not for humans.

It's not for humans, but it's human safe, like friendly as well. Human friendly. So you could eat it if you wanted to. I've seen the meat. This is a classic case. It's just because you can. Doesn't mean you should.

And I know I need to live by that more. Yeah. Sorry. I do realize that I am the pole. and you are the ghetto. But other foods are available for you. But, no, the turkey one smells like McDonald's breakfast. I've never had a McDonald's breakfast.

And when sometimes when I forget to defrost them, which is really annoying. And I have to do. So annoying. Put them in hot water. So annoying. Put them hot water. And then it all gets all like smell. Flaggy, yeah.

Well, you like it? Yeah, I like it. Fuck, that's not what I thought you were going to say because I was like, it's not disgusting. I'm like, what's McDonald's breakfast? You would, you were never. going to last as a vegetarian. I know. Betty's food's delicious.

Share it, Betty, share it. Ops? Don't be stingy Betty. But this is raw food. Yeah, so my mum uses raw food for some of the dogs. Does she? Yeah, she had to use, I don't know why. I think it was a diet that one of them had to be on and then it was like, I think it's

called fourth clay. Anyway, it's fucking disgusting. Like, I try and not be one of these, like, veggie vegan types that's like, oh, I can't bet. Like, I will handle me, like, I, I'm letting Arlo make her own mind up with me. So, like, yeah, she, obviously she can have it. And, like, I'll cook it for other people. I'm not, I really try and be a big, brave person. I don't want to be like a winger about me because I'm like, it's just me.

But fuck me. Feeding the dogs. Oh, my God. It literally, it takes everything I've got. Like, and I'm trying not to gag. and then there's this woman out there going, don't eat it. It sounds like she's screwed, eat it, try it in capitals. Eat it, try it.

No, no, no, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, I want to hear what it tastes like. Betty Rawl, I wouldn't. I think it's really, really good for them, isn't it? What you're going to say for you? Is it? Yeah, it's like the best diet you can give them is raw. Well, I mean, they are wolves. They're wolves.

A lot of the charities say that, like, they want you giving, they want you doing it. Yeah. You know, I know, I know a vegan diet. dog do you yeah and how is it what does it eat because butternut do veggie meals yeah yeah it's just veg they're not vegan no wow would kill me boo would be so disappointed I know that's the thing they just they love meat so much but what can I identify like we went out yesterday for a Sunday roast with my family and it's like obviously me and Alex don't eat meat mom wasn't eating meat but my brother and sister both were and it was like she wasted zero seconds I didn't

Really? Yeah, a couple of roast porks arrived. Yeah, she just sat between Mum and Finn and Cat the whole time. So clever. She wasn't wasting time on my fucking wild mushroom and spinach, Wellington, I'll tell you. Oh, that does sound really good.

It was stunning, yeah. Oh my God, I'm hungry. Yeah, more for me because Boer was being... I'm sorry, I've seen this next one. Let's hear her. Also in Capitals. I could donk in Capitals. I could donk someone on the face with my bag of dog boo.

Imagine just the pass-a-bide, donk. Oh, my God. That's fucking hilarious. What a great idea. It's not a salt, I don't think, but it's not... It's not good. It's not far off. It's not friendly.

If someone whacked me in the head with their dog poo, I'd be like... A don'tc's not a whack-ow. Did it be so alarmist? A don't... A don't... A don'ts a little... A don't... On the face?

Not a whack. Is it a don't a dog? Donk. You know, someone I once said that, I got cat called. I got cat called and I was picking up one of Boers' dog sheds once. And I turned round and I had my noise cancelling headphones and I could like vaguely hear it. And I took one out and I was like, you've picked a moment. I'm armed with dog shit.

And they were like, oh, good point. Love that. Yeah, I know. I can throw it out then. I will, like in another life I'd be that kind of woman but I wasn't. I took everything. I said, I was so proud of myself for saying that. I was like, yeah, that was very, that was good.

I know. I was like, that was one of those things that normally you think of once you've run away. Yeah. Yeah. I would not think so like that. Thank you. Thanks for objectifying me.

This has felt terrible. But if I don't look at you, you're not there. You're not a threat to me if I can't see you. Well, this episode has been very fun. Chaos. And we're going to, there's so many more on that list. There's so many. I mean, we did like three.

We've got a lot more. We're going to do the next week. We're going to do the next week. At the very least. Sorry for all the wheezing, bluffing. I'm not. But Al, can you just give them some parting advice for anyone in their car? Yes.

Very important. If you only heed this one advice from me, make it this one. When you're going through a space, always concentrate on the space and don't concentrate on the things around the space that you don't want to go into. You're welcome. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that as part of the ACAP? Creative Network.