Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Kilt tickles and puppy blues

Episode Date: July 20, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? the girls discuss men wearing kilts (yes with no pants), forgetting childhood memories and why Em can never fly a plane...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Hello. Happy birthday, M. It's not my birthday on the day of recording, but on the day of listening, it's my birthday, 28, assuming that I'm feeling great. I can't speak for myself in the future, but we can know. Is that what Taylor Swift, oh no, Taylor Swift was 23, wasn't she? I'm feeling 20, 22, yeah, feeling 23. No one's been 28. 27's been pretty iconic because everybody died. So I'm feeling pretty, and there's still a couple of days left. I see I grant me. But assuming this is coming out and it's not like a post-hustumous one, then I've made it. And that feels in equal measure great because I'm still alive. But there was something, you know, like all the legends die at 27. So I just have to resign myself to the fact that I'm not a legend. You know what I mean? You are hashtag not a legend. But if you did die at 27, you'd never,

You'd never then know you were a legend because you just died, you know? That's true. And I don't know what I could do between now and Thursday, really, it's Tuesday night, that would make me legendary. Oh, I mean, we rescued a dog the other day. It wasn't me. I don't want to take full credit. But my sister's friend, I was part of the gang.

There was a dog that was stuck on a cliff edge. And Moose, my sister's friend, heroically, climbed up and carried the dog back down. And it was like getting dark. Honestly, it was like watching it was, it was pretty. epic oh my god hero i'm inserting myself in her story i mean i i watched her save the dog and it was pretty emotional that's like um that's like grounds to win an award at the um what is it the british bravery award hasn't we're unfortunately we're not in the uk god damn it but we'll bring tales of her heroics home no the art man is it's its own state it's what i'm saying government

i know every day's a school day because it just me that didn't know that anyway do you have any is it just me? I do have an is it just me. It's not very birthday specific but anyway it's interesting. Hi guys naturally thank you I start by saying I absolutely adore that a podcast and eagerly away every single episode I think the nature of the pod and all of your work is so important I've cried laughed taken notes and had a good old explore of my belly button as a result so thank you gross. That is a legacy I'm just like visualising everyone listening to the podcast and just like fishing. Yeah, a head bend as far as it can. So my

Is It Just Me? It's a bit on the serious side, but I feel that it raises an interesting topic of conversation. I do have a graphic story of me sharting on the way to a christening once. Horrific, but maybe that's for another time. The christening is on the most wholesome of church events. I know, I know.

I hope she didn't go. So, is it just me who gets incredibly upset by their partner viewing only fans pages of influences, adult models, and porn stars. I found my partner had revisited the same model on several occasions, amongst several others, and admitted to me he'd had a thing for her for a very long time. He isn't into regular porn and is actually even intimidated by it, so he says the images he goes for are more dignified or teasing, and it feels more familiar. We were best friends for years before we got together, so I am aware he used to pay to subscribe

to some of these people's content. He assured me when we got into a relationship. He assured me when we got into a relationship 12 months ago that he had stopped all of that, but to then discover he still visits those pages and has set up accounts to view them makes me seriously question his loyalty. I have a far higher sex drive than he does, so it's not like it's due to him having frustration sexually, and he has even told me it's more of a curiosity than a sexual experience. He doesn't masturbate, he just looks. Am I right to be upset? Hmm. Am I right to be upset?

It sometimes feels even more personal due to the fact it's the same people he revisits. And I can't help but feel it's because he's missing something from myself or our relationship, even though he insists he's happy and I am more than enough for him. I can't help but keep thinking I will never look like these models, all of which I've had surgery and he does know this, and he must therefore be more attracted to them than me. He has ultimately broken a boundary I set at the start of the relationship due to previous experiences. I dear to every single thing he asked or voiced, so I'm hurt that he couldn't do the same.

A bit deep, but I'm curious to hear your views on this. Lots of love, a worried girlfriend. Oh, bless you. Bless you. I think there are a few things to unpack. Same. Because, like, I think, and obviously with no professional opinion at all and not knowing you or your partner, I think the first thing for you to do is not to make this about you

and how you look and how you're doing things wrong, because I absolutely don't believe that's the case. And, like, I think you're just hurting yourself by comparing yourself to these women because I don't believe your boyfriend I'm really like scared to comment on like from a psychological standpoint because I know psychology or anything but it does but I don't think from from what you're saying it doesn't it sounds like a curious thing that he's doing but from from from you it isn't really anything to do with you and it's not because

you're not enough and it's not and I'm not just saying that sound like him I'm just saying that because I don't want you to put yourself at the bottom and feel like you deserve it or you're doing something wrong or whatever because I think the psychological side of like all porn and porn addiction or like any of that it's not about you it's definitely about him so I just from those off I want to say to you that you're not doing anything wrong and you don't it's not because of how you look and it's not because you haven't had surgery and it's not because you're not enough for him and even if that were true that's his problem and not yours and so you're perfect and you're great and you have to remember that but interesting that

he's not masturbating i do understand why you're upset because that's the thing that it's a two-sided thing with only fans because on the one side great that it's ethical because if if i were to be supporting the one thing in my partner i'd rather it was ethical rather than like pawnhop or whatever but then i do understand it's all the personal connection is difficult because it's person that you're paying to see so i really do get it that's the problem it feels intimate it feels intimate and well also as well you're totally right to be upset that he wasn't honest with you and said that he had he wasn't doing this anymore and and he actually has been so in that sense you're totally upset i find this really difficult this subject because if it was me i would be

really upset too that he was that he was subscribed to like a girl's a woman's account and like I probably shouldn't admit that because I know and like you say it's so much more ethical than just going on horn but horn hub that's such a good oh my god's so good horn hub you're going to start my own hornhub.com I will never go on your porn website for as long as I live yeah it's definitely more ethical than just going on to Pornhub and watching a random video but yeah it just it feels personal it feels intimate and it feels to me and I don't I don't know if this is right it probably isn't but this is just how I'm feeling without exploring it literally exploring it on the spot is that it feels it feels like more towards being unfaithful I get it but to come

on it from the other side he isn't masturbating and I think from that it like you don't want to like throw the baby out of the bath water or whatever the expression is like I don't think this is like a right off the relationship the fact that you said your sex drive is higher than his there may well be something going on he may well be lacking confidence um yeah

I think you said something about he found it comforting or something it's more of a curiosity than a sexual experience he doesn't masturbate just looks see that sounds like a thing that is like a thing that doesn't sound just like oh I just need to like jerk off and my girlfriend's not doing it for me

I've never used the word jerks off. I'm not going to say that again. But like, it doesn't really do not suit me. As I said it, I was like, oh, this is foul. Yeah, so it doesn't sound like he's just like that kind of gratification that normally comes upon. It sounds like a little bit more deep rooted. If it were me in your position, I would talk to him about it on a level that's not, what am I doing wrong?

What have these girls got that I haven't? Like, absolutely remove yourself from it because you have to see that this is nothing to do with you. You know, he's got his curiosity. got his feelings and confusion it sounds like around porn and women and whatever and he needs to go and deal with that but that's nothing to do with you he did it before you and he's doing it now so it's definitely like a him issue and i think that's the way to talk to him about it is not like oh what have i done wrong and how can i be like them and why aren't i satisfying you and whatever which i know is like the instinct is to take the burden and then to take the blame because you're a woman

um but i think go at it from like a look i think there's something going on here i find that curious behavior you've crossed a boundary for me and I would like to understand why if you can't tell me or if you don't know I would like you to go and talk to a therapist and work out what it is about this that excites you or interests you and and if you can't stop on your own then perhaps we could find a way to help you stop and whether you do that in carpal's therapy or he does it individually and if he's willing to do that that would be great but I think you both and I don't need I don't know if he knows or and if he's not telling you or if he genuinely is like, I don't know why I'm doing it.

I think one or other of you needs to find out why it's happening and go from there. Yeah, great advice. You need to get to the bottom of it because it sounds like you're not entirely sure yourself and the way he's explaining it to you isn't very comprehensive. And yeah, perhaps he doesn't know either, but you definitely need to get to the bottom of it. I would be very interested to hear from anybody, if anyone's listening, whose partner uses, who's in a relationship, who either use as only fans or who's, partner uses only fans and you can tell us anonymously if you want but whether or not your

partner knows because I I'm quite curious I don't know where I stand on like the ethics of porn and certainly only fans because it is a different dimension obviously like if you're a single person wanting to use it that's great and if you're in a relationship where your partner is okay with you using it that's great but is it worse because it's the human connection it's a real person that you're like fully connecting with right and I think that's what feels a bit icky to me. Yeah. Or is it better because you know that nothing's going to happen with this person because it's their job and, you know, they're a self-respecting business person and they should, you know, I don't know. There should be some trust. I don't know. I actually have no idea how I feel about it.

No, I don't know. I'm not sure. You're right. It would be so interesting to talk to people. Well, people whose partners use it and people who use it as well, who are in a relationship. If that's you, please send us an email to should I delete that pod at gmail.com or DM us on Instagram who would be totally anonymous, of course, because you don't want to be. And yeah, I'd be really interested to hear that, to hear from people who have experienced this. But I think, like you said, the final thing to leave you with on this one is like, it's not you. It's not about you. And don't let it be a reflection on you.

100%. Hello, you wonderful humans. Love the pod. I need myself several times whilst listening and that, my friends, is the highest praise I can give. I'm sat in my garden, listen to the episode where you read the embarrassing tale, the woman who goes into the wrong changing rooms. You follow it up with, at least you can leave. It's not like it's your gym. Well, well, well. It's my time to shine with this one. Buckle up the second-hand embarrassment. I turn up to the gym, park, walk in. I have a new car and need to get the red to put on the system so I don't get parking tickets.

Everyone behind the counter is busy when I come in, so I just think, well, I clearly see the A to wait five minutes to speak to someone, scan my car, put my redge on the day pass on the iPad and walk to the changing room. and put my stuff in the locker. The door has a sign at eye level about the pool being closed on certain dates. I see, I register, I walk in. As I walk around the corner, I see a young man walking from the shower area, clearly having showered with a towel wrapped around his waist. I think to myself, bit odd, as he looks too old to have come in these changing rooms with his mom. But who am I to judge?

I'm just here to put stuff in the locker. Hindsight, he did look at me questioningly. As I turned to the changing room area, I realised my mistake. Then how did I come to realise this, I hear you ask? lock eyes with a middle-aged man and he's pulling up his shorts i stop in my tracks i don't say a word i just stand there holding direct eye contact with this poor bloke and he's frantically trying to pull his shorts on there was good terror in his eyes his shorts finally on i'm just there holding direct eye contact i imagine this is what animals feel like when they see a car in the road i realize that there are

other men in there i don't say a word i turn around and run taking all of my things with me to the gym floor like a signal of shame to all the men yes it is me the woman that stood in the changing room watching a man dress safely say this was the shortest workout of my life and I have been looking for other gyms since as I leave I hear one of the staff telling a member that the changing room switched today guess I should have waited those five minutes to add my register to the system they switched the changing rooms and didn't foresee this that's a scene of course it's going to happen why I just love the eye contact.

I know. Yeah, that's huge. Oh. And him like frantically, just be like, I can't fucking do it quick enough. Oh man, that's stuffing his normal way. Like, leave me alone. Stuffing his normal way.

Stop staring at me. Oh, God. I went to a Scottish wedding at the weekend where obviously everyone was wearing kids. and I saw so many penises. I saw the most penises I've ever seen in one day in my life. Day's friends are disgusting. Oh, they got them out? By I don't know what I imagine was crawling along. They got them out? Like they sucked them? I have an embarrassing story that's come to me and it's a by proxy embarrassing story from my friend, okay? But it needs to be

told. I'm naming and shaming her. She's called Jess, right? So, we were at the wedding. all the boys are wearing kilt and they're all wearing the same kilt i don't know if it's a thing but the tartan all the tartan all looks the same anyway tartan dots like tartan's tartan you know what i mean so me and jess so jess's husband uh jess's fiance's called gaz so jess and i go the toilet and when we come back i see gaz like hugging a blonde woman but like really like intensely hugging her like they're in love so i say to jess what's gas you know you know your fiancé. I was like, what's Gaz doing with that woman? Does he know her? And she was like, no, that's weird. So she goes up to him. We're getting closer and closer. And it starts to occur to

me that this isn't Gaz. It just looks like him because they're wearing the same tartan, same kilt. They're the same height, build, same blonde hair. And Jess has gotten a little bit ahead of me and it's too late for me to bring her back. It's what you've done. Yeah. So I was like, that's not gas. And it was like in slow motion, I watched Jess scoop her hand. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. And as if in slow motion, I was like, Jess, it's not gas. instantly for the dick grab what a move that's not my first i'd have tapped him on the shoulder before i grabbed this fucking junk she literally thought it was her fiance and she touched she said she tickled another man's gooch oh my god oh my god oh my god lessons to be learned from this one never confront a man from behind going straight for the cunards and two

wear pants, boys. This is obscene. I said it'll reduce the word, but it feels about right. I know, isn't it horrendous? Bless her. Do you know what? I laugh, like, I just couldn't breathe. He luckily, he took it really well

because he couldn't be like, this is sexual harassment, literally. He took it really well, but he was initially, understandably, quite horrified. Understandably, on the poor gesture, she just wanted to die. Has anyone heard from her since? Is she?

Did she still go by that name? She was just like, she just couldn't, like she just stayed at the table, she just couldn't look straight for the rest of the, it was just awful, it was just awful. Yeah, that's like, she didn't touch his bum, she'd like touch his cooge. I'd say that was sweating.

How rank is that? It's just so good. Honestly, it was like, it was such a slow motion moment where I was just like, I've built her up, being like, what's gap, that's weird? And then being like, that's not gas, that's not gas, that's not gas. Oh my God. The girl that he was hugging intensely as well must have been like, the fucking hell are you doing? It was his wife. It was literally his wife. So she was like, what are you doing?

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I know. Such a good story. Such a good story. I can't believe that all these blokes are just kicking about with their knobs out. Like I find that very strange. But for me, it was like the willing to just show them all the time, you know? I mean, it's literal thing, really waving. It's what they do. It's like how they show their masculinity. I just, I thank God every day that I'm not a man. Because imagine, like, me and you, like, when we just get competitive with each other,

we just have to, like, shake our booze with each other. That was me pounding my chest. Oh, my God. So they were just getting them out. I find flaskin really is incredibly funny. Gross. gross no I think they're absolutely they amused me immensely

it is funny but but it also goes through me as well and balls I don't know it's just I just no I think the whole set up I yeah like if I were a man for a day I'd just like flick my willy from like side to side like a sleeping like one of those toys

that just goes like you know there's like yeah that downstairs yeah literally I'd just like do it like on either side for a while I feel like I'd like pull my balls up and then let them go again, and then pull them back up and let them go again. That to me looks quite fun. What do you mean?

Like when you're standing up? No, I guess you could be sitting down as well. Just like hitch them up and then let them drop and then hitch them up and then hitch them up and then let them drop and then let them. Okay, yeah, that could hurt actually. That could hurt, actually. That could hurt loads. You could just do that with your own boobs. Just do that with your boobs now.

Just lift them up and drop them. It would hurt. Do you know what? I saw a meme and it was like, all girls do this all the time. Like when they're in the house and like doing chores. just running around do they just grab their boobs and it's so it's so true like I always do that I do it to run down the stairs but that's because it otherwise it's a you know it's a carnage yeah it's just black eye yeah yes yeah it's a lot it's time to be real

out it's time to be real I have to be real I'm being real it's time this is my first time and yesterday I did my first be real and I took it up the bin because I didn't know there was a two-sided thing so okay you're in it oh okay well that's fine and then I'm in it wait is that it send okay you don't are very happy about it but you're in my be real I'm a bit late to it

a bit oh I'm 10 minutes late to it but I'm also I don't mean literally today I'm like how many months of people have been having this yeah I did my first one yesterday because I'm basically I'm hanging out of the kids I'm with my kids I'm not kids I'm here with my sister and her mate and they're young they're cool the hip right and said

yeah and yesterday there's notification just happened like rippled across the table and they were like we have to be real and I was like kids you are real and then I realized that it's a thing so they all just like started like taking photos and I was like what's happening and then they made me get it so I did it but I didn't realize that it takes a photo from both sides so it takes the front facing camera oh so I'm like nice little selfie of my stupid smiling face but I didn't realize that and because I tried to put everybody in the background and then the forward one it's just the bin because that's what the other side of my phone was facing so my first be real is just

trash um but you know what the only way's up so oh my god i feel like you're sounding young and cool as well you know thank you i thought that actually a lot and my mom was just like pissing herself she's like it's so good to just see you be flawed by social media it's so good to see them keeping you young i was like all right right 27 yeah well she had it before me okay so we need we all need to get on Be Real. We need to be on Be Real. I have something to read. Do you have anything else for me? Anything else for me? I do. I do. Hit me. Hi, I'm Alex. Amy and Daisy. Love the pod. No, but seriously. I'm not just saying this bit because I'm obliged to. Thank you genuinely from the bottom of my heart for bringing this podcast into my life. You have no idea how much it lifts people's moods,

especially on bad days. It's so nice to escape for an hour or so and feel like you're just listening to your mates have a chair. Oh my God, no, I'm crying. Not all right. You did make me cry, this story? I have and is it just me to do with dogs? I have. And is it just me to do with dogs? I I know you to a dog owner, so I'm hoping you can relate. My partner and I recently just got a one-year-old rescue dog. She's a gorgeous lab cross. And in general, I say she's a pretty good dog, but she's not without her issues.

Lots of chewing, whining, separation anxiety, endless digging in the garden, barking at random noises and waking us up in the night. I'm having such a tough time adjusting to her, and I hate to admit I have moments of wishing we just never got her. Everyone is asking how it is, and if I'm loving it, and I just want to say it's so stressful, I'm not having a good time and I have this constant feeling of dread in my stomach that I've made a terrible mistake.

But what I actually end up saying is she's actually amazing. I love her so much already. Please tell me I'm not a terrible person and it isn't just me. Or at least tell me it's going to get better. It's going to get so much better. It's going to get so much better. I don't know how long you've had her for, but it's going to get better. The safer she feels, the older she gets, the better it will be 100% is not going to get worse. Absolutely not. It's going to get so much better. You'll settle down into a routine. you'll get to know her personality she'll get to know yours everything will get better

also when we first go Betty I went through this to the point that I joined a forum online I don't even know what forum it was but it was about the puppy blues I was just like I just need some support because I feel like I've made this terrible mistake and I don't know what I've done I did this really emotional post about how I felt

and loads of people replied to me and it was actually a really good source of support so you could find that forum if you wanted but puppy blues are such a real thing and don't underestimate how much it's a bit of a shell shock to get a dog and it does

change your life, it does turn your life upside down at least for the first bit so don't underestimate that and when people ask you like say whatever you want to say but don't feel like you're a terrible person for saying I'm having we're actually having a tough time because anyone who has a dog or like a lot of people who have

dogs will say oh my God I remember the first bit as well it was really difficult. You definitely struggled at the beginning with Betty and now I mean you've always loved her and that's and the two things can be true, you can struggle and still love them completely and totally and really want it to work and, um, I'm like putting words in your mouth

but you wouldn't swap her for anything now, right? It's all great. Totally. Totally. Like she's the best thing in the world. I love her to death. And it sounds like a lot of these things were the same with us. Separation anxiety, she had separation, she had separation, I, separation anxiety so bad when she came, barking at random noises, constantly like waking us up in the night. They were the same things. But like, all of the,

those things get better, she just needs to settle down into a routine. And I think, yeah, I don't know how recently you got her, but don't people say it's, um, oh, I think it takes, I think it's, I can't remember the saying, but it's like three months for a dog to truly settle down somewhere and settle into a home and into a routine and to feel like it's their home. Yeah, you can also make changes like at any point. Like even if you're beyond the three months, it's not too late. Bua, when we first got her, she came from like a sort of puppy farm type situation. and she had these really weird triggers, basically, and I could never work out what they were.

There are just certain things. Even to this day, there are certain things that still just really scare her inexplicably. Like, some dogs just really scare her. And it doesn't really make any sense. But when she was a puppy, caging was a massive problem for her, which I guess if she'd been in cages.

And, like, obviously, it was all, like, black fencing or, like, black caging, that sort of thing. And living in London, all the fucking houses are surrounded in, like, black um what's it called fencing like black like metal i don't know what they're called gates fences whatever anyway and boo i cannot tell you how scared she was she couldn't walk down the pavement and it was like i had this dog that i could not walk because she would like pull herself into the road or try and slip her harness and it was like oh my god how have i got a dog that i cannot walk down the road

this is insane um and i actually took her to behaviorist which is something i was always like I'm never going to need to do this. Like, that's such a middle-class thing, but, you know, I was desperate. And I took it to Behavis, and we had like a three-hour session, me, her and Buwer, and honestly, we just nailed it,

absolutely smashed it, and we just never looked back. I got really good tools from her, and it was a really good... So, like, basically what I'm saying is if you need help, ask for help, because there are so many people

that specialize in dogs and they really know their shit. And that was pretty game-changing for Bua, and even now when she gets weird, I kind of know what to do. Actually, I might need a refresh of course but they definitely helped at the time

yeah and actually that's a really good bit of advice as well if you can get a behaviourist or a trainer or someone that's going to help you and help the dog settle in it's going to be so much better because it sounds like it's your first time dog as well which it was for us and

it was my first I'd never had dogs at home either so I was like so out of my depth and like just I was so confused as to like what to experience and it was really like oh my god overwhelming so definitely yeah get help if you can and take a nice deep breath and know that it gets better and you're good yeah people very rarely show the shit shit stuff they really don't like i remember this once i'm coming home from coming home and boo had chat on every and i used to i used to live like i've told you as before i used to live in a flat that had like like you just got so many stairs that it was just so many

stairs and she had taken a shit on every, like a little dollop on every single step for three staircases. And I opened the door. I was like, this is literally the worst thing that could have happened. Like, and obviously she'd been desperate and it must have just like fallen out as she'd been running down the stairs. But it was just, it was like little like, like ice gems on every stairs on every step of shit. And it was just like, this is the worst Hansel and Gretel shit I've ever seen in my life. Like, oh, bless her. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You know she shat in the shower the other day? The last time she had the squits, she shat in the shower.

How inspirational is that? I was like, what a... Get her the Pride of Britain Award. That was truly heroic. Pride of Britain, that's it. What a babe. That is clever. Yeah, carpet in our bedroom.

No, no. Took herself into the shower. She would never get in the shower. She hates water. She's like a cat. That's really sweet. That's so cute. I know.

So you know what? That's the thing with dog ownership. do have bits so you're just like oh for fuck sake and they can be an inconvenience you know going away for the weekend or you can't do this you can't take them here you've got to leave a party because you've got to go home well you just and like that stuff is annoying but on balance I think you'd be hard pushed to find the dog owner who's really in the thick of it not at the beginning who would ever say that they'd swap it for anything totally so hang in there because I really believe you'll get there and it will get better yeah transition periods

If you gotta have faith, do to do, do, do, do. Do you want to finish with one little thing about somebody with ADHD? Go on. Okay, right. Good morning, guys. Hello, I did her voice like that, sorry. She says, I've been listening to the podcast of Jim Styles

and you were discussing ADHD and OMG it's resonating with me. Like M, I have not officially been diagnosed with it, but I was seeing a counsellor who suggested that my diagnosis of borderline personality disorder didn't probably fit me, and that I was presenting more with ADHD. Looking into it, I am convinced I have it, and my life makes a lot more sense, but I'm still too afraid to go to the doctors in case they tell me I'm being ridiculous. Anyway, my main point for emailing is this. Is it just me who struggles to remember things from their childhood? I have vague recollections, mostly from stuff people have told me about when I was little, but not many concrete memories.

All I can say is, thanks for camera and video recordings now, because I've forgotten so many memories otherwise. At one point, I was questioning whether I had early on set dementia, but I'm thinking this could be a part of the ADHD. If anyone else has experienced this, I would love to hear. As always, I love the podcast. I literally listened to it whenever I had some time to myself, which isn't often. Also, last thing, it made me laugh so much that when Em was talking about the ADHD revelation, that she started talking faster and faster, I'd recommend you guys listening back to it to hear about it. Please keep the podcast going forever. Yours truly very happy podcast, isn't it? Yeah, I don't doubt that. My little awkwardness about ADHD, I'm like, wait, wait, what do you mean

ADHD? HADD. I don't know why anyone would think that. Like, some weirdest think that anyone I can never say to me, I don't understand why you've got this trouble. It's actually really really insulting me. This is a, this is a funny one because, and I don't want to be like, oh, jump on the bang waggon, me too, but I don't have, I have like no childhood memories, like none. I knew, I knew you wouldn't. Why?

I don't know, you just, you've always struck me as the type to just not have any memories. And I don't know why. But I, when I read that, I was like, because I'm fanatical, I remember loads of weird shit, but I was like, I bet you all can really. relate to that. Do you know, the only memories I have are the ones that I have pictures of. Yeah. So I'm like, I feel like I form a memory around a picture.

But I've always put it down to, I've always just assumed it was the fact that I had loads of sisters and there was always so much going on and it was chaotic and that's why I just don't remember because it was just like, ugh, like all a bit of a blur. Your whole life, it's like a tornado for like a good 18 years and just like... I don't know, it's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. A fight started and that was that.

I can't imagine it's an age idiotic, maybe it is, I don't know, but I know that like... I know one thing. Chloe Kardashian had it. She went to the doctors thinking she had early on set dementia and it turns out it was like trauma from when her parents got divorced and then her dad died and she had like, you went to like a full thing and it was like a trauma reaction and you do lose or can repress a lot of your memories if you've had a trauma in your childhood. For sure.

I think that's how a lot of children like deal with trauma by like either dissociation. or like mentally detaching which means that they can't it it affects the way they process the memories and how they remember so I know that I know that trauma's like definitely a bit but I I don't know about ADHD should we should we use good old Google very quickly doctor Google anything I'm never going to go to a doctor for my ADHD we might as well keep Googling it like because I I'll literally have a conversation with someone which I've only been half listening to and I'm embarrassed to admit that so whoops forgotten it but um like honestly, like, asked me what I was wearing

at my fourth birthday. I could probably you know, rust up a man. Like, I remember my, I remember my, like, child to dream some of them. That's unbelievable. Yeah, I remember a bin bag. Oh my God, I remember, I remember, I remember the lampshade in my bedroom and I was like, five

leaning on my lamp and it started burning. I was terrified. I remember finding a mice, a mouse in my toy box. I remember my dad telling me that if I slept in necklaces, I would choked to death. I remember all the songs I ever did on karaoke. I remember loads of the school runs. I remember, oh, I remember loads of stuff. I feel like I'm just showing off to you guys now in no childhood memories. You are just showing off. We're sitting here like wiping out where

our single tears of nothingness. But it's weird, isn't it? Because you do create some memories where I'm like, oh my God, I swear I can remember like my third birthday party, but then I'm like, no, I can't. I just remember saying a video of it. Yeah, or a picture. And I also don't trust any of my memories either. I don't trust any of them. But I've just Googled it. And I think, okay, so, well, one study says children with ADHD do not process most information due to inattention and loss of the opportunity to save and retrieve information. Therefore, these children experience memory impairment. So, yes, this could be part of your, this could be part of your ADHD. But did she say she'd been diagnosed?

Sorry, I forgot what she said. No, she's doing a mean. Not officially diagnosed. Oh, she just thinks. Okay. And, yeah, cancer suggested it. And she doesn't want to go and get a fish. diagnosis because she's scared which by the way don't be scared if you want to go go if you

want to try I got don't be scared it's great nothing happens like you can do you know what I was going to say you can't the label you either can or you can't accept the label but I don't know if you actually once you've been diagnosed you can't you can't you can't they're like you're like no I reject the label that will be me I'll put it on your notes I'll be like don't I mean actually maybe you can't I don't know because if I don't know. But there's nothing that you can't do. So I, when I know fun fact about me before we go,

I'm never allowed to fly a plane. I had operations on my eyes when I was little. I'm never allowed to fly a plane. Oh, catamage. I know. I also can't see through microscopes. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's my career in visit. No, biology. Fucked. And aviation. An aviation. Out of the window. No wonder I ended up just chatting shit. To be honest.

I feel like I wouldn't love you in a plane. I feel like you're like, oh, there's a pretty cloud. I'm a great driver. That's true, actually. I trust you in the car, so why not the airplane? Yeah, why not the airplane? Well, because of your eyes. Yeah, okay, well, that's fair enough.

Yeah, my eyes are appalling, and I'm like legally not allowed to fly a plane. But if I had good eyes, do you trust me in a plane? I don't think there's many people I trust in a plane. It will cost you nothing to say yes because we will never be in this situation because I will never be allowed to fly one. I would just like revel in getting in a plane with you and you flying it and you taking us through the sky. Well the good news is I think I have allowed to fly helicopters. No, so good.

Oh my God. I remember I went in one helicopter once. It was like insane. I know, I know. But I was so scared that I didn't, I like, I propped myself up like with my arms. I didn't let myself sit down fully because I felt like my whole weight. was going to just make the airplane go like this. So I like prop myself up, even though obviously...

It's exactly the same weight just threw your arm. It's exactly the same weight, right? So anyway, it's stupid. I fucking love gravity, you know. Okay, on all that note. Right, fine. It's my birthday. You know, it's time to wrap up.

Gravity. When you say, you know, it's time to wrap up when we hear, I do love gravity, you know. I do, Al. Think about it. Don't take it for granted. Because if we didn't have gravity, where would you be right now? You'd be gone. You'd be fucking gone.

Through the roof. out to curtains you'd be dead you'd have nothing no i don't know bettie be gone the house where got everything gone we'd be in space right we're all fucked no no no we wouldn't make it to space because we'd go to the heaven the earth's atmosphere and we'd just crisp up and die we'd run out of oxygen oh just like plain sail to space no no it's not a way sales famously ask any of the apollos i think it was like it's not a surprise like 11 was like the first one that got up there or whatever it's it's horrible so you know what i love gravity i just i'm just gonna say it just because gravity might not hear it enough actually and if it doesn't get the appreciation

that it deserves it might just fuck off so gravity i love you i'll tell gravity that you love it and it might just stick around no absolutely not um come on come up right no right right if any of you find yourself floating up into the earth's atmosphere and crisping up nicely and dying you know who to blame all stingy with a compliment over here me me for what Because I work there, I love gravity. Oh, you said it. Perfect. You hear about gravity.

She loves you. Okay. Bye, everyone. Bollocks. See you got me. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.