Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Laughed at a funeral

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

In this week's IIJM, the girls discuss their dream homes, the embarrassment of treading water and answer a listener's question about death (promise they get into it once they got the uncomfortable giggles out of the way!)Megan Rose Lane's book recommendation on the subject is Dying to be Me by Anita MoorjaniFollow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, hello, hello. What the fuck was that? Do you know what, I went through a phrase of doing that after everything I said, Dave lost his mind and be like, yeah, what should have for dinner? I fancy salmon. I'm going to do that tonight. We're not to say anything to Alex, I'm just going to do it. after everything.

Yeah. But it made him so, like, cringed out. How was your date? I just did it for the sake of it. Oh, my God, so good. I was going to have a poop. Oh, my God, so funny. So, you know, a couple of weeks ago, I was in Madrid for a wedding.

Yes. And we accidentally, this is so bad. So this is one of my, like, best friends who got married. And we accidentally booked the room next to him and his new wife. So we were in the hotel. Oh, no. I was just like a three-day wedding. We needed a room with space because we had to put the travel court, whatever.

So I got like the biggest room that I could because that had to have space. Anyway, it was next to, on the first day, like we got there and they were like, oh, and I mean right across the balcony. Like just for the newlywed once, like one of their oldest friends in the baby. I know, anyway, on the morning after the wedding, on Saturday morning, our door was open onto the balcony because it's hot. And Alex walked out the room and he walked sort of like past the window door. and he was just like, oh, I'm just going for a poo. And I was like, oh, my God, that's the first thing they're going to hear as a married couple. Like, what a glimpse into their future.

It's just like, oh, I'm just look off the baby. I'm just going for a poo. It's like, oh, good. Congratulations. The future is beautiful. We were in christening the other day. And Dave looked at me, and I saw, I did see panic on his face. He was like, oh, I need to poo.

And I was like, oh, fuck, hate. I was like, can you just, okay, go here, go here, but please be quick. He's not quick about it. I was like, it's going to be so embarrassing. All my mates are here. It's so obvious. Either you've gone for a poo or you've just left, which is very rude. And he was like, I'll try and be quick.

20 minutes later. He's like, sorry, it's a very awkward one. He's been an awkward, like, yeah, to fight it out. I actually don't know what he means when he says that. What was it like an awkward person? Today, I didn't have a very good chat. I'm in the shower, right? we've only got one bathroom in our house

so it has the toilet and the shower well a bath that you step into for a shower right if you came and took a shit well you in the shower I'm in the shower that's grounds for divorce washing my body my poor body and he sauntered in dropped his kex

and just planted himself on the on the loo and I was like no no I pulled back the thing I was like absolutely not absolutely not hold it in hold it in me it's wrong with him I know that's that's Gribbly. That's really fucking gribly. He was like, oh, come on. Like, you know, we're separated by

the shower thing. I was like, fuck off. You don't want to hear it. Also, our bathroom is tiny, like absolutely tiny. It wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter if you had Kim Kardashian's bathroom. It's the principal. I know, I know. Speaking of Kim Kardashian's bathroom. Have you seen it? I have, what the whole house is an insane. Insane. It's absolutely giant. It's like a mausoleum. It is. I actually don't know what a mausoleum is, but I actually don't know what a mausoleum is, I just saw it written town. And I was like, that's what it's like, but I don't actually know what it is. What is a mausoleum?

Is it like a crypt? It's impressive building, housing a tomb or a group of a tomb. Yeah. Yes. That's what it's like. Yes, it is. It's so characterless. Yes.

Sorry, that fuck mean. I was like, all right. Fucking God, that was so mean. How bitchy. Yeah, literally. Like Lawrence Lewin Bowen Bowen, just commentating on the interior. Is it characters? Apparently, I don't know.

heard rumours that she doesn't have any furniture so that if she edits her photos it doesn't matter because it's like, I've heard that. No walls, no backgrounds, no nothing. That's extreme. Imagine engineering your life, like, around. I mean, they probably have to. Photoshopping your photos. Like, that's insane. All the money in the world, I wouldn't want to live in a house that big. Like, in a bathroom environment, I don't want to have to walk a long way to the shower. No, no, no, no, no. Like, no, I like a compact. Hop it, yeah, our shower. I mean, it's London, so obviously, but like, you could not swing a cat. I mean, you couldn't even swing a mouse in our...

No. It's so small. Like, it would just go, this poor mouse would be like, wallop, wallop, wallop. Literally. Dung, ding, ding, dang, dang, dang, dang. Dead. Ow, ow, ow. Stop, please.

You've proved a point. Why did you have to? do this. It would hit the shower door, it would hit the mirror, it would hit the cupboard, and then straight back to the shower door again. It would just be horrible. We're like, animal cruelty. Swigging the mouse around.

Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. Okay, your point. I do have to say, I don't understand people that want to live in really big houses. Really big. I just don't get it Like Kim Kardashian slides

Like I get if you like I get having a room for storage Like that would be amazing to have a room just For what like for suitcases It's just yeah for like all your crap Like to have an attic like that's good But like why do you need space for We've got Eve storage in our house

What's Eve storage It's like It's got a tiny little door in our bedroom Oh Because we're in the loft So it's like a tiny little door That you go through And then left and right

is where you can put your suitcases. Good in theory, until you have to get them out. Yeah, I don't hate that. Because you fight hard to get them in. And I just think, well, I'll never see you again. They're stuff either end. Goodbye. Yeah, my friend.

There's a six-foot artificial Christmas tree in there. And last Christmas, I was like, I'm just going to buy one because I'm not getting that thing out. I'm not even going to try. I love that attitude. I'd be a bit scared to have an attic. I've seen enough horror films to just, nor would I want a basement. Absolutely not. I don't want either.

lock. I would like a spare room. No, who am I kidding? I want a fucking gym. I want a gym and it's just not obviously possible. I would love like a sauna. What? Like an infrared sauna.

Oh my, okay. Right. So when you're like, I need a bit of storage and a sauna. I mean, less of a relatable queen. Oh my God. If you're talking about ideal world, I'd have a swimming pool. Would you? Yeah.

Would you use it though? I love swimming so much. I love swimming so much. I know but I don't want to like to my own horn but I am really good at swimming so we've heard I want have I already have I already shared that talent

yeah true we're still deaf from the reverberations of it last time there you go enjoy it again I have a swimming pool talking about ideal dream well I have swimming pool a paddle ball court you know paddle ball

have you ever play paddle have you ever played it more than twice yeah when I lived in Madrid These humble brags Padel is amazing Daisy doesn't know what Padel is Let me explain Padell

Short tennis with a wall It's like a cross between squash and tennis And can I just say I have only played Padell the one time I got invited on a press day To go and play with Denise Lewis The Olympian And I literally, I didn't know where I was going

Was this pre me? This would have loved that I don't know the other to pre you I mean we were friends We knew each other We actually was the person that introduced us took me on that press day and I didn't really know what it was

I thought it was for like so basically I got invited to this thing I've told this story before but the most embarrassing thing that ever, the one of the worst things I ever did was at my friend's wedding was a ride's made I got so drunk I fell asleep standing up on the dance floor they had to cut me like a dead cow out the party like I've definitely told this story before anyway so I got invited to this press day

at the venue which was Stoke Park which is now closed down I've all been bought or something anyway and I've got to go back because I got put to bed in the service elevator and I was like I need to see the service elevator I need to if it's going to like, you know, like when they do a walkthrough after a crime, yeah. I was like, I need to see if this jolt's back any of this great shame. Anyway, so I said yes, not really knowing what the day was.

I just thought, Stoke Park, that's cool, I'll go. Got there, they were like, it's time for Padale. And I was like, what's just Padale? And then this guy was there. And he was like, literally like the king of Padell. It was like his job was like to PR Padell. And he was like, it's like this. It's the biggest sport in Spain.

It's like bigger than tennis in Europe. And I was like, cool, I'll be really, really bad at it. And sure enough, me and Denise, who was. Very nice, by the way, because she was, I'd just come back. I'd just run my first marathon, or I was just about to run out something. And it came up, obviously. Because what else was I going to say to an Olympian other than like, we have something mildly in common.

And she was like, I could never run a marathon. I was like, obviously you could, Denise. If I can, you can, look at us. Anyway, so I played bad aisle with her terribly. And I loved it. So if you've got a Padel court, I'll come round your house and we'll play. It's so much quicker than today. There's a court near our house.

play? I would love to. I'd love that so much. I feel like we should be doing more. I'd love that. With our lives. Boys go and do activities. Girls don't really do them. Let's go play. Yeah. Sorry, I hiccops. I got excited. Squash. I love squash as well. I'm going to play squash. Okay, no mind. Um, I'd have a squash call as well. What? You wouldn't need both, I don't think. Yeah. Yeah. No, I would. Al, you don't do it off. We're talking an ideal world. I know, but like, you don't, I don't think you'd use them. I said, fine, ideal word, doesn't matter. Ideal world. Okay. So you've got Padell, Squash, a swimming pool. swimming pool. A sauna.

An infrared sauna. This has gone a bit far from, I don't think I just want a room for my storage. I just want an attic. I'd say a gym, but I don't think... A boxing gym. A boxing gym. Okay. So Kim Kardashian's house isn't looking too unrealistic anymore.

Outside of those five massive things. Outside of my current mansion. I wouldn't want excess rooms, you know. I do not what I mean? I mean... I'd like a storage room. That would be the preview of the estate agent. Hi, I'd just need someone to play all these ball sports.

And somewhere to keep the rackets and I'm happy. That's it. One bed, one bad, one bad. I wouldn't need all of that. I wouldn't like the admin. I wouldn't like the admin of running all of that. No, because in an ideal world, like, someone would help with that. I'd just come to your house to do all those things.

I could stay exactly in my house that I'm in right now with a barpum that I could maybe swing a cat in rather than a mouse. and I'd have a gym and that's all I'd need Do you know what though Like some people actually live like that Like people on selling sunset Not the people on selling sunset But the houses that they sell

People actually live like that With all that stuff And I don't think they're happy So actually maybe it wouldn't make you happy Would it make you happy though? I really think so Okay I feel like that's what's amazing

It's amazing in my life The problem is you'd be living with Dave And if you were like Well I want a squash court And a Piddell course They'd be like right well I need a golf course In the house Yes yes

I've already spoken to Dave about how much he wants a golf thing in his own, like a golf room. I'd have a room for an F1 simulator room. Okay. This is why, like, not everybody should have loads of money. Yeah. When I look at how like Elon Musk spends his money, I'm just like, no, you're a terrible advert for billionaires. It would be so fun to just have that much money just for a while. Why do you just download the Sims?

I could. I could. How on do they have Padel Courts available? Probably. About everything else. Anyway. Yeah. Well, I'll just come around yours.

I don't need any of those things. So, I have an embarrassing story. I either have an embarrassing story or I've got a bit of a dark, deep, is it just me? What would you prefer? I'm going to give you the option. Dark and deep or light and cheery. I want dark and deep and then you can pick us back up with light and cheery. Okay, hi, I'm and Al.

Love the pod and have been a listener since day one. Wow. Thank you so much. I have a bit of a dark Is it just me But it's taking over my life a little bit Is it just me who worries Sorry

Sorry Sorry No no I'm laughing Not crying Either way I'm not crying Either way it's fucked up This is dark She's just

It's dark No I know I know It's just It's really dark And I feel like we've come from Such a light topic Is it just me who worries About dying an unhealthy amount

Brilliant Okay Go. Let's go. Is it just me who worries about dying an unhealthy amount? I think... Oh, shit. It's dark, isn't it? I don't even know why I kept this in.

No, I... I thought it could be good to talk about it. Okay. Yeah. Ignore me. Just don't mean to say mine again. Is it just me who... Just... we didn't get it

okay I feel bad and not like doing doing her justice like this is taking over her life and I fine fine fine be respectful come on I think about it most days It's not funny. It's just me. It's not funny. You stop it. You stop it. You're laughing.

You're laughing. Look, it's not funny. Because it's not, you know, dying's grim. It's very bad. Bad. You want to die. It's a very serious, very serious subject. I think about it most. No. Bad to stop. I think about it most days, multiple times a day. Why do you keep laughing? I don't know. I think about... No more now.

Sorry. Sorry. No more. I just included for you. That's a bit too fast. I think it's going to make you a bit... Yeah, that's how she lives. Don't think we have any slower options in that.

Yeah, that's better. I think... I thought if I just ran into it. Do you read to meet? Why don't I read it? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Hi, Emma now.

Love the Pod. I've been a listener since day one. I have a bit of a dog. Is it just me? It's taking over my life a little bit. Is it just me who worries about dying an unhealthy amount? I think about it most days, multiple times and can often lead to me having a full panic attack. Now do you feel like an absolute wanker because you should and I do.

We are bad, bad people. Anyway, it's got so much worse since my life has come together. Maybe because I don't have anything else to worry about currently. I've tried talking about it to people, but no one's really been that helpful, have a good week, much love. I actually just really need to apologise to you for, the fact that we got the giggles because that was inappropriate I know that was so inappropriate

it's nothing to do no I mean I just I came out of left field with the topic yeah you did we went from squat Padell and anyway I get it

and oddly enough you know we had Megan Rose Lane on the podcast yes when I saw her like the week after she'd been on the pod like we just went for a walk as pals

and she was talking about this like so much work that she's had to do around this like intense fear of dying yeah so definitely follow her but like I get it

I think I this is going to sound really deep she has really good book recommendations about this I'm going to text her really quickly in the hope that she comes back straight away I do carry on okay so this is a bit dark indeed but we might as well go there so I have had a lot of grief in my life like

I've lost my mum has lost all of her siblings she's lost both her parents all my god mothers have died like I've just lost a lot of people and that's been like during my life and I seem to have come at it now

from the side of like because I don't know I feel like we live in a culture that really puts people getting older as like I feel like we live in a culture where getting older is such a bad thing and people are so negative about getting older and I think I kind of view it now as a privilege that you do get to get older

Like I feel like if my mum ever gets upset that she's getting older, I get upset that she's getting upset because I just think after all the grief that she's had and after all the loss that she's had, it's just such a privilege that she's still here. And honestly, I'd think she was cursed if I didn't, I mean, if I didn't know better. I don't know better.

Like, honestly, you've never known, like, loss like she's had. It's just, it's so unfair. Yeah. And for some reason, that hasn't made me fear death. Okay. But kind of, I don't know if you feel like, oh I don't know maybe just like we're just so lucky to be here and I feel like that was something that was reinforced by like

Deb James who like I love yeah yeah still love um obviously who died last year and she encapsulated like all the celebration to be alive but I feel like maybe it's just because I've had a lot of death around me that I feel quite like it does make you appreciate life more um but I was going to bring up devs as well because she really, the way she like tackled death head on rather than just like it being this taboo subject

that you just, everyone's too scared to like mention and stuff, she directly spoke about it and spoke about her own death and I found that really like jarring at first like fuck because it's confronting isn't it? Yeah, it reminds everybody of their immortality. Right, but it was really powerful I think. And I actually, Megan has come back to us but I have I've listened to a podcast about this recently

and I think it's called Life Explained and it's basically a podcast about how we need to be we need to face our own finitude basically rather than avoiding it because I mean some philosophers say don't know that like we just our entire existence is about avoiding death I actually think on this level what's really interesting okay so I think our parents boomers and this is like quite a far like left field theory but like just stick with me like I don't know if you ever

listen to music with your parents but like I think quite a lot of like the 60s and 70s rock music was like I don't know if you think about like the who did that song about like I want to die before I get old and like later Billy Joel did it like it kind of felt like they were going to live forever and I feel like that was kind of like the boomer soundtrack was like we're going to be young forever we're going to go forever and I think a lot of boomers now really struggle with their own aging and I don't know what happened before like I don't know if my I never spoke to my grandparents

before they died, my grandma's before they died to know how they felt about it but like I certainly feel like watching my parents get older like it is something that they're having to grieve but obviously because they're boomers they don't have the like emotional language to struggle with getting older so I feel like we're

just watching our parents not enjoying getting older because they miss their youth they miss their body moving in the way that it did, they missed, you know, whatever. So, like, the whole society paints getting older is really bad. But if we never acknowledge death, then it's always going to come as a horrible, horrible shock when we get sick or someone we love dies.

Whereas if you accept that, like, birth is something and death is something, and it's, and you've just got all this stuff in between, and that's all there is, all this stuff in between, then you can, I don't know, you can kind of enjoy, because you know the end's coming. I feel like we completely ignore the fact that we will die one day. We never talk about it to the extent that then we just live in this like kind of unspoken about fear. Whereas if you know you've got your start and your end, you just, you have to enjoy the middle because that's all you've got.

I keep saying this to our, it's really deep, but I keep saying this to Arlo, like, because I always say like, oh, like, Mommy will always be here for you. And then I'm like, I actually can't promise you that. So then I have to say to it. I always have to caveat it. I'm like, Mommy will always be here for you. but even if I'm not physically here like I'll always be here like there will always be

get really emotional but it's like there'll always be bits of me no I know but you always think you like I don't know I just feel like I want her to have that language to know like do you know what I mean that like human like mortality is like something

do you know what I mean right we're up we're down but like I do know I say to her all the time and I keep saying this to Alex actually since since I've had a baby it's really changed my thing but I'm like when I die I always used to be to donate me give me away whatever, which you still can, but leave a little bit of me in the house so she can come and

hang out with me. Because I feel like I, this is actually really sad, but I really miss my granny since I've been born because I keep thinking, and it's really sad because I keep being like, oh, I wish she'd met her. But then the women and calendar girls all remind me of my nan because she had the same accent. So I made Alex watch calendar girls last night, weirdly. Anyway, and I kind of wish I had somewhere because she, her ashes were scattered in Jersey and then I'm like, I wish I had somewhere that, yeah, physical. And then I was like, oh, you don't me in the ground because what if she wants to see me on a rainy day or she can't be asked so just keep me a little bit in the living room like a little urn or something in the

so she can just come and like be like hey mum like love you miss you this happened you know i feel depressed sorry no it's nice and it's nice like his ashes in the house so and it's really stupid but i go and like talk to him and then when i walk past i go to lou i'm like hi dodge that's nice that's very nice i know it's really but then but i also keep saying to Alex, I'm like, take fucking videos and photos of me. I don't think I'm going to die, but if I do, I'm like, take photos and videos of me with her, so she has them in case I do die. So I feel like I'm preparing for my death, just like, low-key.

I don't think I'm going to die. But if I did, you know, you- sound like you do. Well, I will die. This is it. I will die. Everybody's going to die, so I feel like you just enjoy the now, kind of prepare for the future, and just enjoy, like, what else have you got?

And actually, I mean, this, the episode with Lizzie Pickering, that was more about coming to terms with other people's death but than your own you know accepting your own mortality yeah but it did help me a lot I think with fearing death so much

so you believe in an afterlife or anything what do you think no no no but then that's kind of gratifying as well is it yeah we don't have to do what you know we've always talk about what our personal hell would be at least I don't have to spend an eternity walking downstairs and you don't have to spend it in a queue

I do think it's, to me, it is utterly frightening to think that you're dead and that is it. Like, you've, you cease to exist. But you don't fucking know. That scares me. You'd just be asleep. What were you doing between the hours of 2 a.m and 3 a.m. last night? You don't fucking know, because you weren't there. And then that comforts me, the fact that you don't know that you're not there.

You don't know. Because why would you want to be trapped in an afterlife, like, looking down on people, like, no, I don't want that. You're just going to die. And that's fine. And then, you know, the pain is for the people that are. left behind really yeah yeah and that's what i worry about now i don't worry about my own death i worry about i mean the fact that my brother and sister are completely hopeless they'll always forget mother's day there'd be no one so i've got to make sure Alex make sure that they

remember to do mother's day and father's day and then i've got to make sure that arlo's okay i feel like you've thought this through maybe it's because i've just had a kid but i have thought it through i've you know i know who's getting the jewelry i know who's getting clothes i know who's getting my money i've got a will have the hugs absolutely Absolutely. Thanks. I've just kind of seen myself in them recently, so I just feel like it'll suit my vibe.

Thanks a lot. My body's not even cold. But my body's not even, I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine. Oh, I am. Where's her ugly? Just wear her fucking she at your weight. If you could.

I want to put it in my world that I want to be buried in my eggs. You bitch. If someone could. tell you the date and time that you die, would you want to know? No, absolutely not. No, see, that's it. That's fun. Then I just think, you would. No, no, no, no, no. This is it. Not knowing that's the fun bit. You get up in the morning. You don't know if you've got today. Tomorrow isn't promised. So you just enjoy the days that you can. Like that is genuinely, and I think it is because I have had a lot of grief in my life, but that's just how I view aliveness now. It's just like,

we're just really fucking lucky. Like my brother had a very, very, very near death experience with his accident a few years ago and it just shook the fucking shit out of everything I thought I knew about the world and it's like one minute you're fine and then boom one minute you're not so it's just like be good have fun wear nice pants like just chill yeah yeah don't worry about your body yeah like the fucking candle yeah yeah like the candle you're saving yeah just tell everyone that you love that you love them and yeah got like fucking hopefully we'll be here in 50 years and like that's so fun and we'll plan for that and I dream of sitting on a rocking chair with Alex one day

and just like looking at my grandkids and I just like I hope that more than anything and I want to see Rale live a happy life but I don't, I'm not promised that so you just got to just make every day great but I don't think you're the only person that fear is death I just I think as a culture we do not talk about death

we really don't we really don't we escape it we escape it we escape round it but also loads of people don't die could I just say like I think we do hear about like cancer and young people and you know there are these horrible, horrible things that happen to gorgeous, lovely people. And I, and maybe, like, I, again, maybe it's just a bit intensified.

I think it's quite unusual my situation to have lost literally everybody. But, like, most people that doesn't happen to. Yeah. And if people still have their aunts and their uncles and their grandparents and they die when they're, like, 90. Yeah. And the average life expectancy for women, it's like 80. Did you know that?

No. Yeah, I imagined, I mean, going by, like, the way that I view society, you know, I imagined it to be about 65. You know what I mean? I thought I was midlife. Yeah. Yeah, no, you're not. Women are living to like 80, 85 years old, on average.

That means that a bunch are going way over that. But I do think it's what you experienced, well, you just presume that that's going to be your trajectory as well. Like, say my grandparents all died when, like, before I was, well, just as I was born. Yeah. So, I don't know, I've never seen old people, really. I've not seen people getting old. I've never known an old man, yeah.

No. Like, one of my grandnie died when I was six, the other one died when I was 18. Yeah. and I didn't have any grandfathers. My aunties and uncles all died on my mom's side. That's funny, isn't it? Yeah, like my auntie rose died last year. Yeah, so you did.

And I think if you're a catastrophizer by nature, or if you're an anxious person by nature, and this girl said in the email that she looked like everything else was pretty good, so you looked for something to worry about. And this is obviously a complete thing to worry about. It will always hang over you. It is the most inevitable thing that you will die.

but I think like it sounds really oversimplistic to just say you have to make your peace with it but you do well we've got two choices as we fight it or we make peace with it and which one's going to bring

more well more calm and peace to our lives is accepting it accepting our faith come on death take me now I am resigned I accept my fate

I will go and lie on Oxford Street and just on the road I'm accepting I don't want to fight it anymore. I'll die now. But if you think about it, you are fighting to be alive all the time.

Like your whole life is just fighting to be alive. You fight to be alive when you don't cross the road into traffic and when you take your in breath and when you don't, I don't know, like when you tread water. Like you are fighting to stay alive all the time. We're pretty good at that actually. And that's pretty exciting.

We are very resilient. Someone sent me a DM the other day saying that treading water really gave them the ick. and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. That's so icky. It's so much sexier to think. A little doggy bottle. Absolutely vile.

Just go down. Just accept death. Just go. You don't need to do this. It's really gross. It's so gross. It's really uncool, yeah. Rank.

A loser. Look at you not drowning. A little floater. Absolutely. state of that. Okay, okay, so Megan has replied and said that the book that really helped her is called Dying to Be Me by Anita Morjani, I want to say.

M-O-R-J-A-N-I, M-O-R-J-A-N-I, Marjarni. Dying to be me, my journey from cancer to near death to true healing. So that could be a really good one for you to buy or download or whatever and see if that helps. helps take the weight off your shoulders a bit. But yeah, I'm sorry for laughing. I feel really bad for laughing at the beginning.

I do, too. It was just like when you get the giggles, but it wasn't actually the subject. I feel really bad. I'm so sorry. No, I do too. It's not, like, I don't think you're on your own with it. And, like, to be honest, like, having said,

like, I feel like I've been all high and mighty, be like, well, I don't get this. I don't get it about death, but I do get it about space. If I look at stars, I'm like, what? Like, what? Yeah. What do you mean? Like, like the moon.

if I think about the galaxies. Like the magnitude. The fucking magnitude. Have you seen those videos on TikTok that's like, I'm going to show you like the scale of the universe and it takes you from Earth to like, I don't know, like the galaxy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's Milky Way. You can't fathom it. It's too much for the human brain. That makes me feel physically sick. Yeah, same. It kind of allows the comfort of just being like, well, what's the fucking point? So let's just like eat well and be happy.

Yeah, I like that. I mean, literally. Getting lost in space is one of my fears. Why would that happen? Why? Getting lost in space. Wait, I thought you were going to breathe. You took a wrong turn.

Oh dear. Sorry. I thought we were on the right wave like there. I thought you're going to be like, yeah, yeah. No, I guess. I was like, okay, no mind. I get it. Like, I find that there's no scenario that I would ever get lost in space.

They would just misplaced. people in space. How would you get to space? You can't just climb the air until you get to the top of the world. And then it's like, oh, we lost it. Oh, have you seen interstellar? I think she left. She was supposed to take a right. She's gone. Oh. No, what's the one? George Clooney in space. Did anyone see what direction? She went, yeah, it's Indistella. No, it was Sandra Bullock. It's not so annoying because she gets back down to earth after a very near-death experience and she's still like in those very like clean little knickers and I'm like as if as if you didn't grow any pews while you were up there for like 40 years did you like yeah sure smooth little bikini

line gravity oh my god and she just gets she just slips away and gets lost in space and it's just haunted me ever since there are some there are some steps you can take yeah there are some steps you can take to avoid that late yeah okay don't go don't go if someone offers you a trip to space Just say no. Just say no. There's not much I'd rather do less. I agree. Probably I'd rather less plummet to the bottom of the ocean.

I wouldn't want to go on a submarine. There's my two big fears. Absolutely not. Spaceships and submarines, I would die. If you put me on a submarine, I would absolutely lose my shit. The open expanse of water. And the fact that you can't breathe when you're not in the vessel. I don't want to put that much trust in a vessel, which I realized I was on an airplane,

you're putting a lot of trust in a vessel. I feel so anxious. Right now. Death, getting lost in space. You're not going to get lost in space. You're not going to get lost in space. Also, you probably flowed. Just tread water.

Bit icky, but good for survival. And on that note, we are so, so sorry for this episode. I am so sorry for laughing. On every level, we apologise. It's like when you get the giggles and you shouldn't, I'm sorry. Yeah, we just laughed at a funeral. Yeah, I'm sorry. And we're really sorry.

And we're sorry for this episode. And we're sorry for the existentials that everybody's no doubt in. So, yeah, therapy on us. Yeah. Love you, sorry. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS created network.