Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me LIVE: Lazy eyed boobs

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

In this week’s Is It Just Me? the girls are back with their amazing live audience to dive into some breathtaking embarrassing stories, and share some wisdom around body positivity with summer approaching. Thank you to all of those who came to the show, we're looking forward to doing more in the future! Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy Grant & edited by Hattie MoirMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Loll, send me a pick of your boobs and I'll say more boy. Did you do it? Probably. Ladies and M's sister's new boyfriend, welcome to the Should I Delete That Podcast Live Show. Hi! We've gone off the rails. We've got our drinks.

I hope you guys have yours. It's taken its toll, the live show. The stress. No, we joke, mostly. The Prosecco is for audience members. We have some embarrassing stories to share, and they have been submitted by people in the audience. And if anyone is going to be brave enough to lay claim

and own up to those stories, and they can elaborate also. We're always up for extra details. We do have some prizes. You can win a pot of Praseca. I know much. Or from Tesco's. really generous.

We did get it on our room. Lay shame to everybody that you've never met. And you do get a bottle of Prosecco for it. We're nervous. We're so nervous. Trying to play it cool. We came in the room earlier. I was like, right, so I'm going home.

We've handled it differently. Yeah, I've been eating. A lot. Completely false information. It's a completely made-up fact, which even for us we know is made up. And we're still running with it. I'm about to say it as if it's true.

Sorry. Okay, unconfirmed. But apparently, I'm eating a lot because there's a reason for it. But apparently, our brains can't eat and be anxious at the same time. It's like it... Oh, is you nodding? Is that true? Oh, okay, okay.

We need like a neuroscience. We need no confirmation. We don't need like a doctor. We just need one person to be like, yeah, that sounds about right. We're like, yeah, yeah, good, cool. There was a nod, yeah. I actually did Google it, but I couldn't seem to find anything on it. But it sounds about right.

Doesn't mean it's not true. When I was eating, I wasn't anxious. and well... Now you're not eating and you are. Yeah, we've been going... It's been a couple of days. I don't know if anybody saw last night on Instagram. I uploaded something I definitely didn't mean to.

Don't say, yeah. Did you say? I was like, no, no one saw it. It wasn't good. So this dress is a little of a see-through. I'm a new mom. I'm leaking. It's not great.

And it was definitely meant for close friends. And I kind of like, guys, what I do about this dress? And then I had that feeling when you see it and you're like, oh, no. And everyone's like, don't know why, it wasn't that bad. I'm like, I don't love that. But thanks. Anyway, it did, thankfully, lead to something that has made me feel so much better. And that has been a million admissions coming into my DMs,

which we've been howling at all day. My favourite is that one where a girl shared, she shared a picture of her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend as her face front stages. I would die. I would perish. I honestly. You just don't even take me off this earth.

There's just nothing. Honestly, like a little trapdoor in the floor could open. I'll just be like this fine. I'll go. You don't even need to ask. I'll just go. It's all worth. But I got so many.

And I don't know if any of you follow Jules von Hep on Instagram. He shares photos of people who are selling mirrors online. and they don't realise. So good. And I've had so many of those. And my favourite woman was from a girl. And actually, sorry, like, way to kick someone doing a truly wonderful thing. Like, Karma's not fair, because she was donating her eggs,

which I think is about as generous a thing as a human can do, took a photo of the sample pot, and in the reflection of the flush was her whole vagina. I was like, that's just so, so unfair. Wait, wait, wait. She didn't, I hadn't pull the trousers back. No, with the sample of pot? I don't know what egg.

I don't know. Can someone nod? Can someone tell me that's the thing? That's not how we're not just like, oh, just collect a few eggs. If I push really hard. Like a chicken. Yeah. It's going to lay a few eggs.

Okay. We need more. There were some holes in that story, but I didn't care to, I didn't care to join the dots. so I've just taken what I like to run with it. So anyway, the long and short is we've been really nervous. And it did inspire one of an Al classic, which was a text. Basically, I got a DM from someone who's here saying, don't worry, like you're feeling anxious.

It was the nicest message. And she said, I can't wait to laugh and cry with you later. Which I loved so much, and I forwarded it to Alex. I was like, don't worry. The audience is going to be really nice. And Al replied, she just went, OMG, we haven't scheduled any crying time. I was like, hang on Hang on

You're ready to cry I haven't thought about that I didn't plan this into the schedule Like okay I need an extra hour now How do you cry Was one of the OMGs Which is so regular In our WhatsApp correspondence

And we've talked about this before We alluded to it at the Christmas In the Christmas episode Where I'll just be minding my business Driving or looking after my child Or just sleeping And I get a text and it's like OMFG and it's like oh god and it could be fucking anything like anything like Dave could have died

rest in peace he's not he's here or like she could have shoved her toe and it's just like buckle in I'm expressive you're dramatic but with that in mind we thought it might be fun to collect some of my personal favorites I've gone through the 2,306 times that Alex Light in the last three years has said OMG just in our WhatsApp correspondence that does not include groups or emails or real life okay you're really on the spot ohmg are you avoiding me that's my number one i get that every morning um omg i woke up in a cold sweat about the live show sad umg you're at the theatre omg why aren't you messaging me ohmg i think those two were connected ohmg have i done something wrong

OMG, too much betrayal. OMG, let's Photoshop a cigarette into this. OMG, I'm so cryy today. OMG, the fucking baby whisperer. OMG, I'm beside myself. OMG, it's Blue Monday. OMG, I'm irritated to fuck. OMG, I'm thriving.

OMG, I'm not. OMG, people actually listen. OMG, it only has 47 likes. OMG, bored. OMG, excited. OMG please, OMG Y, OMG help, OMG who, OMG no, OMG bye. I'm just little Wi-Fi need. I am going to get you back.

I know. And actually, you exceed my OMGs. You had 2,785 lolls in our chat. Okay? Abs of steel, all that lulling. Right. Here we go. Alex left a spare room three, lull.

Been up since four, lull. That's a concern, lull. Not very festive, lull. Slight careful, lull. If anyone finds out, I'm cancelled, lo. Probably to do the cigarette. I've got no idea. I'll stop panicking about it now, Loll.

Maybe, no. Not lull. Not doggy, lull. Not dying, lull. It's hard having a newborn. Who knew, lor? I regret everything, lull. I regret all of it, Loll.

But I'm fine, Loll. Cervix being a stingy bitch, Loll. I'm not opening, Loll. Slept for 20 minutes last night, Loll. Loll, sorry, just weed myself bombing, it's worse, Loll. That happened a lot. Yeah. I'm not okay, Loll. Loll on my hospital.

Loll, I'm very stressed, Loll. Loll, yeah, tell her I'm giving birth. I have a generic face, Loll. And then this one, I didn't know how to keep him. Oh no, what is it? Why doesn't Jimmy the followers, Loll? Bit bleak. Awkward.

Loll, send me a pick of your boobs and I'll send one back. I don't know. I don't know why. I don't remember. Did you do it? Probably. I meant to have a wax, Loll, finally sorting out the butthole. These are so much worse.

They really are. I'm nearly done Actually, I'm not as loads to go Absolute shit show I was just trying to help Loll Sorry if I made it worse I got really randomly sad I look like a mime artist

I just need a hug Loll, didn't have one all weekend Loll I like that's like being at the pantomime I feel betrayed Poor Dave, Loll. Anxiety is high, Loll. Loll, need a better system. Feel like I'm cheating on Alex, Loll. I felt like.

I don't know what that was in regard to, but... No one wants me, Loll. No, no. I was like, no, hang on. No one wanted me. Oh, that's so bad. But it sounds so much bleaker in the present tense, doesn't it? No one wants me.

I haven't followed him, Loll. Oh, I wonder who that, wasn't it? Probably, no, it wasn't. I said Dave, but with the business of Instagram. Mr. LinkedIn. Did anyone see his post today? It was really nice. He's very proud of himself. It had a thousand impressions.

A thousand and twenty-five impressions. I'll put it in our WhatsApp group as well. Good. Mr. LinkedIn. Wern nelly done. Well, that's not very nice, lull. I wish I could override my emotional brain lull. Stacey Solomon follows you.

Ask her to come on the pod, lull. She hasn't been on, so I'm going to assume she said no. I probably tried. We try a lot of people. Pit and miss. What if Al will we say if you throw enough shit at the wall, something will stick?

Something to live by. Spaghetti, I think the phrase is. But, yeah. Right? It's if you throw enough spaghetti, I think. Anyway, she works. Have you ever frisbeeed a cucumber onto a wall or a fridge?

Anyone? Yeah, it's so fun. If you slice of a cucumber and frisbee it at a, like a shiny cupboard or a fridge, it sticks. I imagine that to be satisfying, actually. And it makes a really good.

Nice. I love that. When it lands. Okay. There you go. You're welcome. Something actual to take away for me. Thank you guys.

I hope you'll enjoy your homework. It gives me great pleasure now to pass a baton of shame on to my sister, who is here. Guys, with her new, as if we didn't mention it already, with her new boyfriend. Yay! Who I met for the first time today. What a baptism of five. We literally met him in there about five minutes ago. I went to shake his hand and he went to hug me and it was really fucking awkward.

And he was like, oh, that was a bit formal, wasn't it? Like, job interview and I was like, oh, sorry, I didn't know what to do. You had a bit. Oh, dear. Anyway, you know, he seems great. I run Katia this morning and I was like, how does he cope with public humiliation? And would you like to find out? Um, tough.

Anyway, no, we're not going to do that bit for long. But Katia is coming up. If anyone was at the last live show, she told the story about the time she went for a train poo. And the door opened and the guide dog walked in. Such a good story. And then the door closed.

And it was just her and the dog. And you think that's about as bad if it would get. And like, surely. surely nothing else like that would happen to such a nice person. You'd be wrong. Her catalogue of Shane is extensive and luckily she's agreed to come up tonight and give us another little nugget. So can we please welcome to the debating stand?

Katia! Yay! Where is she? Oh, she's very far away. This is going to be awkward now. I thought she's done a runner. Fair enough. Kieran probably has.

Hello. Hello. I'm out of breath. I'm very nervous. Yeah, so basically the story happened when I was about 16, so that was about eight years ago. It's like it happened yesterday. So I was lying in bed one morning. It was about 7 or 8 a.m.

And my bed was sort of like this way, and there was a window behind me like that. And I heard something, sort of like this weird rattling on the window. I thought it might be a bird or something. so it's a bit weird because I'm on the third floor so something's going on and so I like got up on my knees open the curtains there was a window cleaner literally right here and I went oh Jesus and he was like oh Jesus but he had a way bigger fright than I did and I was like a bit rude

I look a bit rough but rude and then I realized that my vest had slipped and look it's one thing if you've got both tits out. But just the one. There's something so sad about that. So yeah, and the great thing is he's still our window cleaner. So every couple of months he comes by. Yeah, he was not

going to give that job up. So yeah, that's it. Not as bad as the dog to be there. Not really as bad as a dog. I'll just have to come up for something next time as well. You will. I'll come up next time. Yeah, exactly. Hi, Gereen.

Woo! All right. Thank you. Thank you. You're doing great. There is something about the one booth, isn't it? There is something horrifying about the one booth. And that's something that I'm really on, kind of living at the moment with breastfeeding. You very rarely have both out.

You've very often got one out. And it's just, it's like I've always had this, right, I'm going to overshare, which is kind of fine when it's just you and me and then looking. I'm like, oh, this is a lot to share, but fuck it have you ever had it

when you get changed oh I say that you will have done when you put on a tight t-shirt and you're not wearing a bra and it's like your boots have got lazy eyes yeah

that took me a second and like the sad thing is is I do have a lazy eye so it's just like my beads are trying to match my eyes everything's going everywhere it's like the eyes trying to cut anyway

it was like I can't even know how I got onto that I think I told the story last week but we went to Tenerife a few weeks ago and we were I had to do a shoot on the beach I was so hot and so miserable like my hair was all matted down and I was sweaty and like Dave was just irritating me just by like breathing breathing even though he was actually being really helpful until he held the towel up I was getting changed on the beach did I tell this story oh sorry I'm unforgivable and I'm not repeat tell it I mean

drop the towel but why I actually realized afterwards I was like I never followed up with like why? He had no excuse. It's a wasp arrived. He was just like, oh, a saz. And I was like, because I thought about it as well, because I had like my bikini, the bikini top was really tight. And it was sitting like there, like digging right into me there.

So you know, he's like, ooh. Like that's like, all scared, you know? And I had no pants on either. It's so bad. Shame on you, Dave, wherever you are. I think I've told you this before, but like genuinely one of the worst things ever happened to me, I went to a lake like during COVID we did some

like anything like just did anything I was like yeah I'll go something in a lake it looks awful but I'll do it so I went something in a lake and I was with my friend's kid who was like seven at the time and she was holding up my towel for me and she went do you and see a magic trick and I was like yeah go on then you're seven I'll humor you

and she went and she just dropped the towel and fucked off I was like I'm like a little lank her and what are you supposed to she's seven I was like oh great cool trick like I'm trying to and I as a mum now I'm trying to do that like generational you know, you're soft, softly softly. Like gentle parenting.

Yeah, so you can't be like, you look wanker. You've got to be like, that was such a good trick, but maybe next time, don't do it. And also, where's your mum? Yeah, because I mean to talk to her. But then her mum was like, huss is hilarious. It's like, arguably, yes it is, but I'm so angry. That's brutal.

I know. I'm sorry. Kids are cruel, so now it's time to embarrass you guys. Well, not necessarily, like we say, you don't have to claim it. If you want to claim it, there's a bottle of Tesco Prosecco in it for you, so quite an incentive. This is a story. Are you ready? Yeah.

When I was young and extremely embarrassable, me and a guy from school went to a, we learned how to pronounce this from our Scottish makeup artist, a Cayley, which is like a party where everybody, she said. A dance. Yeah, like a dance. Yeah, like spins around, I think. Which has, which was awesome and drank far too much cheap cider as you do. Oh, you like the cheap champagne then, or cheap Proseco. as you do we went back to his parents house as you do and went to the summer house to finish the night off with a bang

there's so many layers of this is just buckle up right I had a tampon in because I was right at the end of my period and so when I whipped that out wit a really good adjective if you whip it out I'm so embarrassing I don't know verbs and adjectives with any confidence I say it and I'm like

I think it's right one bit which would be a verb It's a doing word. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'll be there. Every day's a school day. Right. Wip that out and he put a condom on.

We had the worst first sex imaginable. We were on a summer house floor in January and it was his first time. What's a summer house? Like an house. I don't know, like a house that you're going in summer. I don't think it's a January house. I think, you know what I mean?

Like, I feel like she shouldn't have gone in it in January. I'm imagining it like, you know, in the OC where his, Ryan lives in the little, like, it's like a fancy shed, like. I think. Oh, it's not right. It's thinking. I think someone's PR's a shed, basically.

What are you talking about? Okay. Okay. In the middle of it, we saw a light outside. His dad was there, shining a torch in at us. He then stormed in and grabbed the poor boy. This is killing me that one of you is in here. Grab the poor boy.

Oh, God. Okay, right, sorry. Grabbed it, the poor boy and hauled him into the house, leaving me just lying there. In my panic, I dressed and ran after them to the house, and then went to sleep on the sofa. Oh my God, that's just like... Anyway, I was awoken by my mum

because, yes, his dad had called my mum and made to sit down at the kitchen table while his dad told my mum that he would support her in calling the police to his son for taking advantage of me, and I was mortified. It all got so much worse

when his dog ran into the kitchen with my half-used tampon and the flaccid, basically unused condom in his mouth. I swear to God, mortifying, and then, Then, the next day I had to sit next to the boy in physics. We never spoke again, but I did get an A in physics.

Woo! I will understand if not, but does anybody want to claim it? Oh! Oh, my God! Yes! I can't actually see you! Oh my gosh, you legend You do not have to stand up Oh my God, it's so good

Do you have anything to add Or do you like us to leave you alone now? Do you want to elaborate or are you good? I mean, I was very young Yeah, I've not told anyone that I've met Since school, that story so it's fine it's just a few people it's a same same space

some of them listen to the podcast and hopefully they won't recognise my voice you know when they interview witness protection people and they put the like voice recognition the dub on it or just that TikTok voice you know that turns yeah I like that okay thank you so much well done for claiming it you're absolutely legend

kind of gutted because I thought we were going to if these bottles of a second we're going to be mine Four bottles. Hi. I have a quick, embarrassing story to make everyone just feel a smidge better about life. These are my favorite.

This person isn't in the audience, but we had to include it because it leads onto a story about someone that is in the audience and I don't think she knows for telling that story. It'll make sense in a bit. I went to get a little spray tan.

Not a big one, just a little one. To make my silly white skin look lovely and glowy, I get it. I hadn't had one in years, years in capitals, and kind of forgot the protocol. It's complicated. I went into the little cold room, got naked, essentially, and the tanner lady came in. She instructed me to turn to the back of the room and put my palms to the floor. What she should have said, in my defence, is palms facing down, but hey.

Who am I to dictate how she words things? So, being the people-pleaser I am, and not questioning anything, I put my palms in capitals to the floor, as in, in capitals on the floor. As in bent over, pale bum with God knows what on show, bent over in front of a woman I've never met before. Please tell me someone else has made this mistake.

I just want to know what the woman's reaction was. Hasn't it so happened to anyone else? No, that's about right. But that's really sad that we can't, we can't go back and be like, yeah, yeah, don't what happens all the time. It does not. We can't make you feel better on this one. I can embarrass Katia again,

because the first time we ever went for a spray, I think I've shown you the photos, but we went for a spray tan once and she had an allergic reaction to, it was really sad, to the products. and it was like, we looked really good for like a day and then we woke up in the morning

and it was like, oh no. It looked like someone had just like puffed up a little, everything, a little bit and her eyes wouldn't open and it was, and then we were going on holiday. It's like, and they don't pat, do they patch test? I don't know. Like, it's such a gamble when you're like, yeah, yeah, do my whole body.

Do our, all space the lot, it's fine. Like, you know what I mean? It's so trusting. That's a good point, actually. And with colour as well, like, you're just like, yeah, yeah, go for it. I'm excited about this one. It's a follow-on. It's actually someone in this audience

has given permission to share a very similar story. I may or may not know her. I also may or may not be related to her. That you weren't given permission to say that there. It really narrows the pool down of people in this room. Okay, good. So, I have been worried about my bum.

After reading something online, I didn't elaborate on that, I'm not really sure, but she was worried about her bomb. Let's just gloss over. Eventually, I rang the doctors, and they asked me to come in for an examination of the butthole. So off I went to get my bum checked, and the appointment started with me crying to the doctor because I thought they were going to tell me something that was wrong. I get that. She was really kind and reassuring, and after I finally calmed down and stopped hyperventilating,

she asked me to take my trousers and knickers off, get on the bed, and put my knees to the wall. I feel like we all need to like visualise it, right? You could do with a demonstration, but... You're not getting one. Which in my thought state, I interpreted

as knees, kneeling on the bed and hands against the wall. Then I told her I was ready. She drew back the curtain. And I was kneeling on the bed, facing the wall with my hands on the wall

bum cheeks spread and bumhole facing the doctor it's so bad she walked in chuckled and said no oh you've left your name in here I know he said it she walked in chuckled and said no

I meant the fetal position this isn't a strip search mortified mortified, I clambered down, and the fetal position suddenly felt very apt. Currently in the middle of changing doctors. I do not blame you. I don't think we're going to have a... I don't think we're going to get anyone to claim this.

Maybe. It's worth a penetrating stare, and it's not the word. Anyone? I should have used. Oh, I just not died as her. It's a definite, no. Okay. No mind.

Maybe we should save the extra bottle of Prosecco. for anyone who might want to tell a story, an embarrassing story, or have anything to add at the end. And you don't have to come up here and do the debate thing. Like, we can give you the mic. And that could be, because we, you know, we don't need to go home with our test go for second. No, after the last live show,

I wasn't drinking because I was pregnant, and you drank quite a lot. Yeah, too much. I didn't really notice at the time. You were like, you were smashing it. You're really good drunk, which is... great and you were fine and then I didn't know until the next morning and you were like everyone hates us like that was like and you were in such just it and you're like no it's

really bad wasn't it like everyone I was like what do you're like everyone wanted like no one's going to come back that's it isn't it's career is over isn't it's like what's what did you do like I left and did you do anything weird I was I was quitting that day actually I think wasn't I we do that so much mostly me but yeah yeah yeah yeah mostly you I'm like I'm in this for the long haul I'm like cool we've got a nice career. I like it. It's fun. Quite reliant on it. I have no discernible skills. If you

go, I'm fun. I said this to my Alex all the time. I'm like, I've put all my eggs there. Like fun? Did you lay them? Yes. It must have been wee. Could have only been wee, I think.

Or poo. I don't feel like that's egg related. Oh pooh, sorry. Okay. That was one of the words. I think I've said this, I must have said everyone. else but I remember having to pill on a tray once can't even remember why I just caught eyes of myself in the bathroom mirror as I was doing it and I was like this is so bad

it's like when you catch eye contact with the dog when they're having a poo it's like that's bad enough and then do you remember when you came to my house? Oh yeah! Do you remember when you came to my house and Betty who's I'm not surprised she's wild but you walked in and she like did a little

dance and then went to stand in the corner of the living room maintained I like she never threw inside ever maintain this this like unflinching stare with you and just shat herself and we were all looking at her like what is she doing she was just looking at you like really angry really unnerving okay we have and is it just me and actually we never know whether to do serious stuff with like i say like we never know that with you live shows all the time i've done too um we were unsure whether or not to do a serious thing but actually we never know whether or not to do a serious thing but actually we never know whether or not to do a serious

thing, but actually given the fact that, well, summer's coming, and it's like, it's something that we do talk about a lot. So we got this, isn't just me into the Instagram this week, and we thought, I don't actually know if she's here, but we thought we'd just answer it in case, I mean, I feel like this is a feeling shared by a lot of people. Yeah, and we get variations for this question a lot. I'm off on a hendu to Marbeio on Saturday, and I'm so excited. However, I can't shake the feeling of anxiety due to my current body issues. I'm a size 1214, which is I have fluctuated my whole life with weight, and due to childhood and parents, et cetera,

have grown up with the idea that thin is good and fat is bad. I've moved into a good space with this, I think, by surrounding myself on social media with positivity and all shapes and sizes, changing my own mindset through podcasts, books, including You Are Not a Before picture. Loved it. But I still can't help myself feeling negative and insecure about how I look. There are 18 of us on the Hendoo,

and I know that I will be one of, if not the biggest one there. I have spent a lot of time and money on trying to find clothes and make me feel good, and I'm confident that with swimming pools and bikinis being part of it and lots of photos, I'm looking for some advice, a confidence boost on how to try and have the most fun I can without being paranoid about my weight the whole time. God, I felt all of that. Honestly, I remember going on a girl's holiday when I was 18, and I was the bit... And it's the weirdest thing, isn't it, that you like, I probably wasn't even,

but you make, oh, it didn't matter, but you make this massive thing, and you're like, I'm the biggest, I'm the ugliest, I'm the this, I'm the whatever. And I just remember, dreading it. Like, and it's like, what the fuck? Like, I'd just finished my A levels. I was going away with the pals. And I was just like, I was so scared. And I remember I'd bought, oh, this is so, this is so trash.

I remember I'd bought this, um, kind of top shop, everyone probably had them. They're like white and blue striped jeans because I'd read somewhere that horrors vertical stripes did not get any in physics the vertical stripes yeah yeah those lines angles anyway irrelevant

why you gotta do me like that anyway they were flattering you're told like yeah they make you longer and like horizontal anyway so I bought them and I thought I looked really good in them and then I remember the night before we went away my friend took a photo on the digital camera and I looked at it and I was like

and I could cry so I looked at it and I was like oh no and then I really got in my head and then I got on the flight and it was full of like all the girls on trips on one side and all the boys trips and it was like one of those like terrifying Ryanair flights everyone's so drunk and you're like where's the pilot where's the order and it was so stressful anyway and I just remember being so self-conscious and I think I was finished my period and I was really and I was like sweaty and I was like oh my god I'm like and they were white it was just it was so it was so stressful and though that's the memory that I have of the

whole trip is just the stress of how I felt in my body it's not the worst it's like 10 years ago and it's like I still remember that feeling I remember doing the same trip after A-level was 18 to family that's where I went was it yeah no way I love that slightly different times I think I'm like a year or two older than you I had dieted so hard for this trip like so hard I don't know how many weeks months before but it's been a really long time and I remembered I had only eaten like I was just loading off coffee soup and it was awful and I was so unhappy and so I was ill and I looked

really great and I didn't look I didn't look healthy and I remember going on the trip and thinking like I have almost killed myself trying to lose weight and still I'm the biggest of all of my friends here and that felt like reading this I was like

I remember that feeling like so intensely of feeling like God I just like what can I like what can I do like I've literally almost killed myself trying to be thin and still all these girls are thinner than me and it's just it's just so incredibly sad

and you realize I mean like it's comparison right like that's the at the crux of it it's not about your body really any say it wasn't about my body it definitely wasn't about yours and it's still you put onto everybody else

this and it's your friends are probably having exactly the same thoughts that you and if I imagine my friends having those thoughts I'd be like no fucking way like no way they're so confident they're so beautiful like what would they have to be and it's like i can picture all of them in their swimming costumes and they're like i'm like they look fucking great like they but i bet you if i called me it'd be really weird if i rang them up and i was like hey you remember that trip 10 years ago how did you feel um but you project so much onto what

everybody else is doing and you imagine that everybody's looking at you comparing you and it just doesn't actually happen in any other context i wouldn't look at you next to somebody else and be like foods are different, waist is different. You know, you wouldn't do it. No, it's actually not interesting. It's so boring. Body image issues aren't limited to size either. I know that size plays a big part, but then it's not just size. It's like people, I think most women, probably all women really have some kind of hang-up about their body.

You know, whether it's like they don't like their cellulite or they don't like, or they think they don't have a waste or I don't know, something. There's always something. I can guarantee that the. You know, it's 18 of you guys on this hen. I can just guarantee that people, everyone else, will be too concerned and too preoccupied with how they look to give a damn about how you look. It's so true.

I remember my mom saying this for me. It's just like people are so wrapped up in themselves and their own lives and their own insecurity and their own issues. And it's true. Like, I don't care about what anyone else that's not like on the beach? I really don't. And if you did, what a fucking weird thing to be looking at on the beach?

Do you know what I mean I always think that like if anyone and we use it I think we talk about it's quite a lot in the context of like if we get shit on the internet it's like whatever but in real life right if someone's looking at you and judging you or worse saying something what kind of a fucking weirdo like get a grin it's the weirdest thing like I could never like if I'm sitting on the beach I want to read my book I'd be left the fuck alone like I don't give it I don't care what anyone else is doing at all and the idea that I would be looking at somebody else and judging them you just think there's something really rotten there and it's a pretty or it's a sadness or it's a something but it's a them issue it's got absolutely because they're not just looking at you it's not like one person's just going to pick you as the only person on the beach that deserves criticizing if they're criticizing you for that they'll criticize them for that and then for that and that's just that's the poison in them that they put out where you're just doing your own thing and I think we've definitely talked about this before but like before we came on like I just had a baby why the fuck am I wearing the tightest dress I owed I was like I'm standing in there.

I was like, oh my God, what am I doing this? You look so good. But it's a weirdest thing. You can't. What you said before about having these hangups, and you do have these hang-ups where it's just like, you don't feel something that I have to remind myself, and it was the greatest lesson at the greatest cost,

was when my jaw got broken, and I was horrifyingly ugly for a little while there. When all of that was happening, I look back at the time now, and it's been just over two years, I didn't stop having the same thing. friends. I didn't stop having the same sense of you. I didn't stop being me in any way. I remained exactly who I am throughout the biggest physical change I'll ever go through.

And I've just gone through another one. And I'm exactly the same person throughout. I mean, hormonally I was a fucking mess. But more or less, you remain the same. And that's what we've completely are unable to prioritize. in a society that has conditioned us to believe that our worth is completely based on how we look. We forget all the other amazing shit that's inside us that is so consistent and you're so loved for and like that's it. At the end of the day like that's it. Like you're going with 18. That's so fun. I want to go. Like I'll come. I'll come. We'll come. That was so well said um that was so lovely thank me oh no do you dear and yet and also like on a very base level

like people just don't care and i i find that to be super freeing yeah liberating and i remember going to mickendos went to mickettas and it was it was about like a few months after i'd eventually agreed to go into treatment for my eating disorder so they want to bring them to me there um but i had cut on weights as you know is normal or can be normal in recovery and I went to Nickenoff with my ex-boyfriend who's here somewhere

Benny and I remember being on the beach and thinking that everyone was like staring at me and like noticing this way day now I'm like can you've got to rethink the world of allspatchy don't you? Like no one was looking at me but

I find that so free now to think that just like I just people just don't care And if they, and like you said before, okay, so one aspect of that is that if they do care, that's on them, that they care because it's diarrhea and security that they're projecting onto you. I saw that online the other day about how the world, like your world has to revolve around you. Like that, you have to do that because if you keep revolving around, this is fucking deep, if you keep revolving around somebody else or anybody else or all the people in your life, you can't do it. Like you, that's not what you were put here to do. You are the center of your world and everything has to float around you. but you must never think that you're at the centre of anybody else's.

And that is so humbling, but so freeing as well. And if they do care, and if they do think something, so what? It's literally a passing thought to them, a passing comment to them. And I find that to be really powerful. Yeah. We have another embarrassing story, and this person is here in Noggin. Hi, so excited for a live show. And, of course, I love the podcast.

Thank you. That is really embarrassing that I read that there. Yeah, and also she stopped off with because they carried on, but you just stopped off. I was like, what's what am I doing? My most embarrassing story ever here goes, I didn't want to read this one because it makes me feel funny. I need you to read it. Okay, it's good. Don't be ashamed of whoever you are.

It just makes me feel funny. I was 13 and on holiday, 13, very vulnerable age. Very vulnerable. I was 13 and on holiday where I met a boy I had a big crush on. Our hotel was on the beach, so we decided to be brave and go on the Ringoes, which I was our big inflatable rings pulled by a speedboat. I kind of needed the loo, but just decided to ignore it and have fun. So I got on the ringo, super excited, not at all worried.

The speedboat set off, and we were bouncing along. I was thriving and loving the speed, until the big wave started. The first wave hit my bum, and I felt something to shift. Q complete panic, and now this is the bit that makes me feel fun of it. Each wave after that, I could feel tiny little poo nuggets. Leaving my body and collecting in my bikini bottoms. Don't gag. You meanie.

Sorry. It's lovely. It's the nugger. I feel like it's someone over there. Soon the ride finished and all I could think about was running back to the hotel room to sort myself out. Unfortunately, my shame was not over. We walked onto the beach where our parents were waiting, him grinning from ear to ear,

me blushing bright red. I thought I'd gotten away with it until his dad said this is her crush his dad walked behind me. I have no idea why a fully grown man was looking at my bum, the headpoint, but my heart sunk with his next words. Oh, that's weird. Your bikini is full of stones. Stones? Like, yeah, that is weird.

Like, what a weird phrasing. That's weird. It's a stones in your back. You want me to do? To say I wanted to die as an understatement, I quickly mumbled, yeah, that is weird. Do they know where they've got from? While backing away slowly.

Then I grabbed the room feet off my mum and bolted back to the room. That was 24 years ago, and I will never go a day for the rest of my life without reliving the embarrassment. Also, I should mention they 100% knew that those were not stones. After the holiday, I never spoke to the four again. You don't have to, but would you like to claim it? Oh, my God.

I was telling this story before, and I actually can't remember. I'm putting someone on blast with no actual confidence as to who it was. I know it's someone that my mum knows. I think it might have been her sister, who rented a boat for the day, like she used to live in Greece, and it would make sense that it was her. Anyway, did a poo on the boat. They rented a boat for the day. did the pill on the boat

Lou didn't flush just like shit she just got the boo in a plastic bag flung it over the side and it got stuck in the boat slit stream and just popped along on the whole trip

and everyone's like that's weird what's that oh gosh I'm just gonna tell you story oh is this your tragic holiday yeah this is a last minute edition I'm really pleased to be hearing this they were talking about her and the sister

were talking about this really tragic story I've really buried it really buried this story and I've written it out because you know it was actually quite cathartic to write it out and I don't know I just feel like I released one of the trauma so I had my first kiss before oh my god we're getting your first kiss story whoa um obviously I fell in love with him because that's the kind of first night out like very dramatic like all or nothing fell in love with him and I thought this was a

stunning romance that was going to last the test of time like I was was fully invested. I didn't eat, sleep. I just thought about him. This is tragic, isn't it? Can anyone else say, like, love hearts are floating above her head? Like, we were gutted to leave, but we, like, went back to this same place every year, and I knew that I'd see him the next year, so I was like, it's fine. Like, I was soothed by that fact, and I thought, you know, that's just how it's meant to be until we can be together fully, you know? I'm so pleased you're married, because if you were single, I'd be frightened. Every day it would be like, I'm in love.

No, it's bad, it's not good. It's not good, I don't. I said mutters while we were apart. Quite a few love letters. In my, like, I remember it clearly in my, like, fountain pen. I was like, I used to be quite good at handwriting. I didn't want to flex. Like, I don't know.

I used to be really good at handbook. I actually won a handwriting competition month once that I won 30 pounds, but I don't want to... I'm sorry, I got side track. Thank you. You are the worst for the humble brag. I won 30 pounds and write it. I took my family out for a meal last minute.

I think I was like seven and I ordered a lasagna and there was a worm on, a little worm on top of my lasagna. What? You know, sorry. But the worst was no one was believing me and my family. I was like, I don't believe you either. I'm definitely a worm on your lasagna. Okay, so not a worm.

It was like a little maggot, like a little... That's way worse than a worm. They put salad on the top of, you know, to garnish the lasagna and there was a little one. And I was saying to my mum and dad on my grandma, I said, like, there's a worm on my lasagna. You know, just stop it, just eat. You'd be fine. And I was thinking, like, it's really a worm on my zagia. This is, you know what? I'm going to take us away even further.

This is really bad. During lockdown, Alex decided to cook one. night and he got a whole load of like organic oh this is really bad actually he's really going to lower the mood but he got a whole little of organic cabbage and he lettuce or something and he and he put it all in a bowl

and then we got it out and they were just like a bug ton of caterpillars in there that's disgusting no we were like oh my god they were fine they were alive it was awful nearly ate them probably did horrible I wish she had told me that actually that really puts me off I sent him letters

I sent him letters I sent him multiple letters he didn't reply to them he hadn't replied to them but I had presumed that they just got lost in the post. Like, back in the day, like, post was, could be very unpredictable. In World War II? Like, yes, it was all right in, like, the 2000s.

We went back a year later. Like, obviously, I mean, I was, I was, like, 13, but I tried to glam up in them. I get it, I get it. As much as 13-year-olds can glam up. I don't know. I was just, like, trying to look at my best self, but I was so excited.

I was going to see him. And he was there, and he could be able to me. No, don't you know, he's like, no. I've written, he completely nor being. He didn't even say hi to me. Devastated, does not cut it. We were literally in the same swimming pool, in the same complex, not a word. In the same pool?

He pretended, like, I didn't make this. And I was like, at the year of my life. That could have gone, like, I thought you were going to be fat with a restraining order or something. Not as bad as it could have been. But it's not good. And the best thing is that your sister knows this, that everybody know? My whole family witnessed him,

just, like, refusing to acknowledge my existence after a year of being like, oh, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, Christian. Like, what are you doing, writing a letter to my boyfriend Christian? We get there, like, I'm so excited to see Christian, and he's like, your boyfriend! Your boyfriend!

Oh no! It's really bad story It's really bad I'm really sorry Oh my god Well the rest of my dating life went really Oh does Dave ignore you on holiday in the pool As my husband Dave

Dave Oh god I actually want to talk to you about something pause in a minute Because I have a gripe But before that This is a really random thing It unlocked the poo nugget story I'm not going to look at you I'm sorry

It really unlocked something in me Love you, sorry Really unlocked a memory Again, I'm going to embarrass her a lot It did happen to me Like I will throw myself Under the boss with her It did happen to me too

But did anyone have a good at it as a kid And I don't know why I remember specifically I had this And I know cat had it too It was the same swimming costume Hand me down life Anyway I was in a Tankini

It was like not asking you if anyone have this But it was nice It was like pale like lilac and pink And I thought I was the absolute tits in it It was really nice but whenever you sat on the seashore and a wave would come, you'd get like a sand willie.

Do you know what I'm talking about with a sand willie? You didn't know. It's like the little gusset pouch bit fills up with sand and you don't know until you're out and then you look down and it's like... Do you mean like right under? We used to call it on Katia's sand willie

because she got it all the time. Sorry. Oh, okay, I never experienced this. Just you, just too. No, it's not just me, I got some knots. Got some knots. Well, okay, I want to go back to the pools. I didn't know that you'd been abandoned.

I didn't know that these are triggering. But I have to ask, and we're going to end this with a group activity. I've kind of isn't just me, but also, is it have you ever? Because I was standing in the shower thinking about this other day, about keying in a pool. Because I saw a thing on TikTok, and it was a guy being like, you're an adult and you say you've never peed in a pool when you're lying. And I was like, I feel like I'm being gaslit, because I've never peed in a pool, and I'm definitely not lying.

And I said this trial, like, I've never peed in a pool as an adult, because that's fucking obscene, right? Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Please may everybody close her eyes, yeah, close their eyes, and lift up their hands if they've ever knowingly, and this is a no-judgment. a tiny bit of judgment

mostly little no judgment for me yeah no judgment for now have you ever weed in a pool on purpose as an adult how does everybody else feel about that but I accept that like if I go into a public swimming pool I know there will be human adult wee in there

I have never ever given that a concern I was told as a child by my mum that if you're read it goes bright pink yeah yeah yeah yeah So even if I'd wanted to Which I never have, I might have done, wanted to But I never would have done because I would have been so scared

That everything was going to go pink Who was brave enough to be like Fuck it, let's see But what if it had happened? I mean, what if that had happened? Is that an actual thing? Like, does we ever go? Where's the A in physics? Does that happen?

Did it? Did you have to happen? I thought it was a myth. You know when a sim would get stinky And they'd go all green around them And it would really like give away That they hadn't showered It's like that for a pool.

Like the shame cloud that would surround you, just pink. But I feel like to have enough chlorine in them for it not to matter. It does matter a bit. As the non-peeing party, it matters a bit. Like to be covered in your own pee,

you're like, oh, well, I've come this far. What's a bit of yours and a bit of yours and a bit of yours? We're going to move on to... Have you ever... Have you ever's with fewer consequences? Well, for me, few are complicated as far. like the other public people, the other people in public.

Show of hands. Show of hands would be good for this. Have you ever fallen asleep at work? Is it? I thought there'd be more of us. Oh my God, so many people. There's not that many. I thought there'd be more.

I did. How did you'd fall asleep at work? I just really hung over. I want to see who's toxic now, please. Oh, yeah. Have you ever read not for like a, not for like, oh, I was just checking to see if someone's

applied? Like, have you ever read a partner's texts? Is that a lot of hands? Fuck it, I'll claim it. I did. I don't think I have, only because... Did it the password? Like, ignorance feels like,

ignorance is bliss for me, you know? I feel like that as an adult. I feel like, yeah. When I was a teenager, I was, oh, yeah. But now I'm like, if you can be asked, you crack on. Yeah. Godspeed. Have you ever had a sex dream about someone that you shouldn't have?

Put that hand up right now, Alex Lived. Which one? Which one are you talking about? Toto. Guys, it got worse, it got weirder. Had a sex dream about someone that you shouldn't have. Toto does not fall into that case of me. I'm sorry.

Everyone should have sex dreams about Toto. Have you ever returned something after wearing it? Top shot back in the day. That's about the ratio I suspected. I've always had my doubts. Look at you with your judgment. I never, I don't return anything. have you ever sexually slid into somebody's DMs?

Yes, yes, yes. Oh my God, not many. Love to see it. I don't care, I'm proud. They're rapping. Have you, oh, this one strikes. Strikes a chord. Fear through my heart.

Have you ever text somebody else by accident? Like a text when you were talking about them and sent it to them? Oh no, my God, it's happened loads. This happened to my friend the other day. and the mental gymnastics we went through to try and make it okay for her. This is my favourite. Because I think I said this in the podcast episode the other day

that I've never seen anybody else's poo apart from those that have been abandoned in public news. So I want to know who's ever abandoned? I've seen your poise. Oh my God, yeah. This one's my favourite because it's very, it's very me and very much can relate. Have you ever... Both legs going up for this one.

Going full beetle. Have you ever cried at work? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Everyone. Way normal. Way more normal than we feel a lot of the time, right? Way more.

And actually, just going back to the, is it just me that we got sent? Please can you raise your hands if you've ever felt? like the girl that sent the message in felt before a holiday or before the summer. Shit. Oh, my God. My fucking hormones. I'm like, I'm gone. That has to be the takeaway from this, is that you feel like that.

So does everybody else. So, fuck it. And, like, how much fun would you have on that holiday going to Marbea? How much fun will she have on that holiday? Right, with 18 other, like, how cool is that? Like, God, I would love to do that. Like, her weight and how she looks, she'd be the last. last thing that she's worrying about.

Always. I hope that, yeah, one day that we all feel a little bit more confident in our own skin. Guys, thank you so much. This has been... So cool. So cool. Like, I don't, like...

I can't fathom how many people who are in here. We really shout ourselves. We came in earlier. Like, it was been cool. Peeping through the submarine hole and being like, oh, Emma's, like, seats are being filled. which is marginally better than it would have been if no seats hadn't been filled.

We were actually trying to weigh that up outside like what would be better. This is so much. Imagine put your hand up and it's like one. They're like, all right, me again. So thank you for coming and for listening every week and we love you so much. So thank you.

We love you so much. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACASC created network. Thank you.