Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: My bumhole's not my business

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

In this week's IIJM, the girls discuss some hilarious awkwards one unfortunate listener has sent in, whether you should declare the state of your bumhole when you get a wax and how to know if your husband's having an affair with a peach...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to should I delete that. I'm that excite. And I'm M. Clarkson. How are we doing? I'm okay. I'm over-stimulated. But I'm okay. And I've just had another really lovely DM from someone asking if I might have ADHD if I'd ever consider it. Bingo.

Maybe. I'm coming straight in with an awkward Okay actually too Your own or no Oh good no Embarrassing story I should say But the subject of this email is confessing my worst awkward Hi Emma and Alex

Firstly absolutely love your podcast it always makes me smile I found you after reading Alex's book during anorexia recovery So grateful for you both I just had to share my two life awkwards with you As I thought I was the only one who did this embarrassing shit Life's awkwards Like all time This is like

Obituary shit This is good Yeah Awkward moment one When having my photo Taking at work Oh my god When having my photo

Taking at work I never read on Never read on I should know this by now When having my photo taken at work The photographer asked me to take off my lanyard

I didn't know what a lanyard was and assumed He meant my shirt It was a new style for me And I just thought He was big on fashion and knew the name of it. So just like that, I obediently took my top off.

I had a vest top on underneath, but he looked horrified. He told me I was beautiful, but then asked me to put my top back on. I then realized what I had done and almost died. I think he thought I was coming on to him, as whilst I was awkwardly putting my shirt back on, he kept talking to me about his wife and how he was happily married. I apologise previously afterwards. I had to awkwardly tell HR what I'd done.

In case the photographer told them I'd tried to strip for him. I still, to this day, cannot believe I did this. oh my god i can see how that is done though if you don't know what the word land yard means and someone says take your lanyard off you probably think it's like it like a like a what they call it like a trucker shirt you know like a blouse yeah yeah no i know bless her she had to tell hr that's the worst an accidental sexual harassment case is a part of embarrassing as they get oh no bless her I bet she wanted to scream when he was like talking about how happily married he is.

I bet she wanted to scream like, no, he didn't mean it. She's not relevant, is it? I'm really happy for you, but I'm dying right now. Can't talk about your wife. Oh no, God bless her. There's such an argument for a vest, you know. Yeah. Just in case.

My sisters wear vests. Often. No, the twins. the youngest two they just always have and just always do it's kind of fun that they do it together

it's just I still I'm not entirely sure of the reasons behind it it's just a thing that the twins just wear vests twins wear vests yeah

wow yeah kind of weird I yeah I don't know I remember having to wear a vest I think I've said this before I had to wear a vest at school

because mom would be worried that I'd get cold which is like the least thing. Like, don't worry about me getting cold. Like, if it, ew, I'm fine. How embarrassing, mom. But so she'd made me wear a vest, which was very thoughtful, but also mortifying. How's I supposed to show off my cleavage in a vest? Didn't have any because I was a child. But you know what I mean? It wasn't cool. Having vest poking out. Anyway, then I had to wear one, but then I had to wear the sort of little training bra one, training bra vests. Do you remember those?

Oh, yes. The little in-built. Yes. I had a little green one with polka dots on it. And it was. Oh, see, all my friends, so we moved to Dubai when I was, I think, seven. Oh yeah, I always forget that about you. I think seven. I don't know. I can't remember. But anyway, it was all the rage with my friends back home in England to wear vests. And then we moved and I was like dragged away from my friends and obviously gutted about that and so very prone to tantrums. And I really wanted to wear a vest still. But I wasn't allowed because it was too hot there because Dubai was like crazy hot. It must have been like August or something And I remember having the tantrum of my life Because you weren't allowed to wear a vest Adolhood's amazing, isn't it? You can't, isn't it? What do you want to wear today?

You want to wear a vest? Yeah. Go for it. Go for it. You say that. You say that. But it's actually, it's not as fun as it sounds. Adulthood.

Yeah. It's a bit of a version. Do I need to wear a vest? Faced with a wardrobe. Am I going to be too hot? Am I going to be too cold? Yeah. I wore a breast.

I'm going to style it. I would vest a lot when I was breastfeeding because it's a bit much when you live the top up and it's like your whole gut comes out. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm I show my nipples to anyone that asks but like my whole mid-triff seems like a lot. So what you just push the like

it's like the top can come up like strap-y vest? Yes. Got it. Jump at like top up vest down. That sounds. Just the boob comes out like a little like a letterbox. So I'm doop out there for middle. Okay. Okay. like a lovely visual

oh that's what you've got to look forward to I'm absolutely all over again I loved breastfeeding while I didn't love it so that's sad I'm not I wish I loved it I'm not one of these people that loved it but I did it and it was fine and it was easy which I'm very lucky for the fact that it was quite easy

but I'm a little bit slash that's I think probably because I'm so looking forward to this pregnancy being over and this baby being here I think the one thing that I'm like, about is just the breastfeeding again. It's so intense. The beginning bit is so intense. Oh, my God, it sounds it.

And like, oh, day three when the milk comes in, it's so, and my boobs get so big, and then they just leak all the time. And then you've got a kid attached to you by the mouth. It's just, would you consider not breastfeeding? No. No. No. And I don't really know what it's okay.

I've got some theories. One. Yes. The admin of the sterilising looks so difficult. And like breastfeeding. It's a real privilege in terms of the ease of it. Like you can, as long as you've got your abs, you're upper now. Yeah, you know what I mean?

Like, you're fine. So, and you can be out for as long as you want. You can be so much more flexible. So I think that's, like, on a practical level, that's a really big factor for me. But then on a lovely level as well, like you do have this phenomenal connection. and I've had it with Arlo and I'm sure I'd have it with a new baby and it would be different and whatever

but like I just feel like I did it for Arlo and I want their journey to be the same I don't think I'll do it as long though Definitely not Because the hormones at the end made me fucking wacko Like I was bonkers But you just do like six months

Yeah I think I go I go until I wean like six seven eight months Yeah And I think that's probably a better time Nice Because I with Arlo went for over a year and I don't think it did my mental health the best. But I'm kind of excited.

It's just that for, like, it's a bit nerve, a bit nerve wracking. It's going to be so much better though, like the second time around. Yeah, yeah. It'll be fine. And actually,

and I was so lucky with the breastfeeding. Like, I think I liked it and I was fine, wasn't I? I didn't really ever known about it. No. So I think it was only towards the end. Yeah,

when I was an insane person. So I'm dreading that bit again. And then I had to, and then I went to the cabbage leaf in the bra thing and I had to go to the, GP and she's like, why is there a cabbage leaf on your prom? I'm a good question. But I think, I think that's because it went on longer than it should have done

for you. Yeah. I kept going because I went to Japan. Yeah. Yeah. But if you tail off like before that, you'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. Especially around weed, like, okay, I don't know anything about this, but like surely when weaning starts anyway and when they're like eating habits completely change anyway, that's probably a good time to like.

It would have been a good time, I think. I was just very, I was very panicked that like, we don't know why I've told about this. I want to get back to that lady's embarrassing life members. I think I was just very panicked that the bond would go. Like I wouldn't, like, I wouldn't, she wouldn't know how to love me if she didn't need me for food. Do you know what I mean? Like, was I still going to be, like, her comfort and like,

was I taking that away? And obviously now, like, I'm still numerous uno. Well, I'm actually not because I'm on shit for him with the age. So Alex was like totally taken pole. I'll say, oh, I can't, it's so sad. Oh, God. But she's still in the middle of the night when she's crying and she needs comfort, but it's me that she's calling for.

And that didn't go away when I stopped breastfeeding. So I'll know that for the second one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not be scared to give it up. Yeah, because it's just a change, isn't it? Yeah. Whereas if I didn't do it from the beginning, you forge your own dynamic and it's probably fine.

Yeah, it's a different bond, I guess. It must be. Well, I don't know. But, like, you're, I don't think my bond with All is any stronger than your bond with Tommy. I don't think it makes any difference. I mean, I'd say that he loves Dave. I mean, I can, oh, I hope Dave doesn't listen to this.

I can soothe him better. I think we can be safe in the knowledge. The Dave's not listening to this. I can definitely soothe Tommy better. I can get him to sleep much quicker. Like I can, I know what he,

I feel like I know what he. Yeah, your mummy, your comfort. But he loves Dave as well. It's not like he's like, oh my God, only mummy,

mummy, like he loves Dave as well. Yeah, yeah, of course he does. Like his face completely lights up when Dave walks in. Yeah, well, dad's fun.

There's science behind it. It's like the dad is the fun one and the mum is the comfort basically. Do you know, I saw something about this, and it said that the baby gets its oxytocin from playing with its dad and, like, cuddling with its mom. Yeah. How sweet. I know. So sweet.

And it's poor Alex, because his love language is touch. Mind you, he's a hoot. So they have a great time. Yeah, I bet they have so much fun. Yeah. So, I don't know, it's nice, though, watching, like, I don't know, watching everybody do it differently and then the results all be exactly the same because it takes the pressure. When you're in it the first time, you're like, oh, there's only one way to do it. A hundred percent.

And that's what I keep thinking about like second. Not that I'm thinking about the second, I promise. But like I keep thinking about it thinking, God, it will be so much easier because there's just so much less pressure because I don't know, you just, you've just got the, like, the beauty of the wisdom of knowing that like you can just, you can like put them in front of the TV and there will be, you know, if you need to do something and they will be fine. Like, rather than panicking, like, I'm fucking them up, I'm doing this and that. And you can take like.

Just be relaxed. Yeah. And more relaxed even. Yeah. And I know everyone says it about the breastfeeding thing, like. with adults it's like we don't we I don't know if well I do know if you were because we interviewed your mum about it but like I don't know if Dex was I don't know like I don't know we don't know that intimate piece of information about were you breastfed or

bottle fed uh breastfed yeah I knew it I knew it I couldn't have called it um but it's true though yeah you don't have a fucking clue it doesn't make a difference to the adult it doesn't matter it doesn't make a difference to the kid by the time they're this age that our kids are you know what I mean so having that will take the pressure off because if I can't do it this time then I'll logistically curse because I've never used a steriliser in my life but actually know I did I had I started sterilize my breast punts and stuff oh it's fine the sterilizer doesn't bother me actually because you're a very clean person you're quite fastidious and that dries the bottles as well so

I quite like that my sterilizer dries and sterilizers so now we don't have sterilize bottles anymore but I still do because it dries it at the same time it's the washing the bottles bottles I didn't love. I got very bad ex-ma on my hands that hasn't actually gone. You know what? I'm going to cross all these bridges when I get to them. Am I going to breast, am I going to bowl off the? Who cares? Who knows? No, literally no one cares. I can't even remember I got those very interesting. Stupid vest. That's what took us there. Well, speaking of vests. Yes. That was the worst segue ever because this isn't about vests at all. It's just about clothing in general. Speaking of vests and clothing in general. Awkward moment number two.

Oh gosh, same woman. Oh my God. It's such a cool story back. I once handed a sales assistant Oh, okay Stop reading ahead I'm reading ahead We just literally just said mustn't read ahead But I read ahead a head a little bit

and realized I got the wrong tone For the start of the sentence I once handed You see the difference I once handed a sales assistant In Topshop my dirty underwear It was the day of my uni exam And I went to Topshop on the way

To return a top I have bought Oh my God, do you remember like Topshop returns? Do you remember who you're talking to? I've still proudly never returned the item of clothing Surely you went to the Oxford Street, Topshop returns in the basement. I have a really bad anxiety about returning clothes

and I don't know why. I tried, okay, so she went to return a top she bought. She tried it on the night before and when I rushed to pick it up off the floor and put it in a bag to return it, I'd unloaningly scooped up my dirty underwear with it. So I walked into Topshop and confidently put the top

and my dirty underwear on the desk for the cashier. I stood in horror for what felt like a decade as we both looked shocked at my dirty underwear. I grabbed them as soon as I could and put them in the bag, but it was just too late. lessons learn don't leave your dirty underwear on the floor and don't willingly take your top off just because you think someone asked you too lots of love to you both arguably one lesson more important than the other the latter yes no both both important there's actually an argument stakes are higher no no no I actually agree with her there is there is nothing more embarrassing than a dirty pair of knickers when I first got booer yeah my dog who's now nine as if I needed to say booer my dog as if people don't know who booer is I panicked I just I it sounds part of the pod I do understand that, but it does sound weird if I say when I first got Bua and then I tell this story. And if anyone doesn't know she's a dog, the story is weird.

Because when we first got Bua, she was like, she was like super into my pants. Like it was like, she would go into the laundry basket and like, she was like super into my pants. And I remember my dad coming to visit once. And Bua bought a pair of my dirty pants from downstairs and just put them on his feet. No, that's horrible. It's like, why do you hate me? I've taken you from a horrible life and I've given you a lovely life. And this is how you repay me.

That's horrible. Also, your dad as well. It's like, your mom would be like, oh, yeah, got you for Christmas. Yeah. Mom, sister, fine. Dad, no, I would die. Dirty pants are just embarrassing, though.

They're just embarrassing. And honestly, they, yeah, I hate, right, okay, there are so many situations where I just resent my pants so much. Swimming. Do you remember when you were at school and you had to, like, gather up your clothes? Yeah. Why should put your knickers?

And you're like, you go in a little ball of clothes. And it's like, well, when am I going to put my pants? Like, what if someone comes from? They're like, oh, can you pass my clothes? Like, don't pass my clothes because then you've got to touch the clothes pile. My pants are in there. And what have they full out? You've got to, like, ball up your dirty knickers and, like, roll them up in something else.

It's like when you go for a wax, where do you put them in your shoe, obviously? I went for a wax yesterday. Whoa. How was it? I was hyping it up as it was going to be the worst thing ever. And it was. It was. That first rip, I thought my skin was coming.

I thought my skin had come off. I'm sorry, I am sorry. I can't, people that say it's not that bad, you get used to it. No and no and no. You do. No and no and no. No. It's not that bad.

It is like give me a cesarean section any day. Oh, fuck off. I am deadly serious. I am deadly serious. Oh. That's like a, I can take that pay. I can take it. I can take it, no problem.

Ow, we're talking about like, a few pubs and like all of your body being slashed open there's such a bit different. I get that. I think you're being, I think, I think the oxytocin of childbirth might have done a number on you there because like at the end of the cesare and you get a baby and at the end of the wax you get like a slightly red, bald fanny, but like, slightly different price. Dex is just dying. I thought we have to have the curtain.

And you also get morphine with this. Yeah. Yeah, you get an epidural and they do as a serious course it doesn't hurt Very different circumstances However, I think I have very, very, very sensitive skin I was very sensitive, sensitive little princess And I've got ex-ma

Very sensitive skin And it's just horrendous But there's no feeling like it once it's done Literally the best thing in the world I have to say, I went for a bad wax the other day And I haven't had one for it Because if you are a nervous person And you live in London

go to one of the strip wax bars I think they actually might have them in other places Oh yeah I've been to them They are so good And they are like just Because if you have a bad wax It is so painful If you have a good wax

It's less painful It's still painful obviously But it's less painful So I think The least painful ones Are when they do it in little bits Rather than they do it in the whole strip I can't bear that

It's I mean I don't know But do you do hot wax or strip wax Hot. Yeah, hot. I love that. Because I kind of like the feeling when it goes on when it's hot. I'm like, oh, that's comforting. No, I just know what's coming.

Yeah, no, it's not great. Yeah, I had a bad one the other day and it was just, she kept apologising. And I was like, this is horrible. Like, it was, it was, and I was sweating, which definitely made it worse. Like, it was hot. We were hot. Hot skin makes it so much worse. Because you probably got a little, like, puddle on the towel underneath you as well because she's sweating.

Why would you say a puddle on the towel underneath me? What a fucking horrible thing you just said. Am I right, though? No, I was just generally quite warm. You know what I mean? Clammy. Yeah. Like hot.

Did you have Hollywood? Yeah, always. Okay. I'm not messing around with that. If we're doing it, we're doing it properly. Like, go. This is definitely too much information. No good, I want it.

But we are on the same wavelength with this. Were you not worried when it comes to the back bit about the pile situation? No, I was like, it's not really my problem. Wait, what did you think would happen? That she sees. Oh. No, fine. I thought you're going to say that she's like, rip one off.

Oh, no. That was a better way of getting under than the surgery you had to have. Probably be cheaper and less dramatic. Oh, God. But, like, I don't know, I felt like I needed to say something. I was like, do I say something? Oh, no. But I just let it be.

Did you just let it be? Yeah. You didn't even worry about it. I was going to go on. I'm fine again. I had a really bad time in the summer, but I seem to be fine again. My movers. I'm on my, what they called?

Relax tips. I'm on my mother call every day. I think I need to start taking lactilose again. Yeah, well, I'll see you after the baby's born and then I'll be in all the place, all kinds of hell. But no, I just, I figure, I actually, we've talked about doing it's a million times, but I want a waxing person on the pot

because they must see everything. I'm pretty chill about, like, I would love a waxing. I was actually thinking about this in the shower because I was, I haven't had one for so long. I haven't had one since before COVID. What? And I used to have them every six weeks.

Yeah, that's what I thought. And then COVID happened and then I just, I lost my nerve with it. Couldn't do it again. really quickly though you know if you give birth if you've got hemorrhoids right because i googled this because i panicked i was like what if i go into labour and i have to give birth vaginally what am i going to do i can't like my my insiders just going to come out and it said that they said it said online that basically the midwise while you push

have to hold them in i don't i still don't know enough about pilots like i don't having a section understand them like i don't i don't really get it i don't know where they go if they go when i don't really understand it but i just feel Like my bum holes not my business. Do you know what I mean? Like I just, it is. It's,

I disagree. It definitely is. Even actually at this point, my Volvo's not even my business because I can't see it anymore. Yeah. Which is quite good. Although I am, I am going to go for a wax.

I'm going to keep up my waxing throughout this pregnancy for one simple reason. Well, first of all, I just, I feel better. It just felt better. I feel good. I like my regularity. But the second reason is,

if you, because last time I had Arlo, she was born three weeks early. Yeah. So I wasn't expecting her. her then. Yeah. So I had, I was out of my sink.

I was out of my, I was out of the, out of schedule. Very bad. And they fucking shave you. They did, oh yeah. That was like the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I've literally never been so embarrassed in my life. Do you know, I don't think they shaved me. They just left it.

She was like, I've got like a dry little razor. Oh, like a little bick. I could hear it. I could hear it. I was like, I hate this. That was probably the worst part of childbirth. Like, obviously the pain afterwards wasn't great and I'm just throwing up throughout it. And being, like, completely gashed open from like...

Yeah. Oh, God. The entire width of your body. But yeah. I still think when my... See, my birth was fine. Same. Yeah.

Same. And this was going to be even better because I had my... You know, I had to do labour last time. I have emergency since. Yeah, you're going to go in all chilled. I know. Did you have a playlist? No, I did...

I didn't get to do that within emergency. I think maybe you do some... I didn't get to do that with an emergency. You've got to do it. You've got to have one this time. Yeah, I'd say I'd give you my... I'd give you mine, but you won't want it. No, no, I do not want it.

Guess what he was born to? Actually, you'd never guess. Was it placebo? It actually wasn't, no. Which actually sounds a lot like placenta, so that would have been alright. Yeah, very apt. It was Stone Roses. Suff Jan Stevens.

No, don't know what that is. Mystery of love. Such a beautiful song. Have you seen Call Me By Your Name? Yes, and I tell you why that film's come up into my psyche recently. Why? Because, boy, Alec, well, because we were in Barcelona for my best friend's wedding, and the kids weren't staying at.

the venue because they weren't allowed at the venue um i think and then so the boys were at anyway we were staying at an Airbnb around the corner and i was i'd got an early night yeah and i came down in the morning and they'd all they all had really bad hangovers yeah like the people we were staying at the house so then i was like what happened here and and my friend hugs was like oh yeah me and alex sat up last night had a couple of peaches in the in the pool oh no so what do you mean they had a couple of peaches in the book what a fucking weird thing to say is like Yeah, a bit of peach. We had feta and peach in the pool. I was like, why are you saying it like that? It sounded really weird. Sounded, like sounded bold. You know what I mean? Sounded. Was it a reference to? Well, that's what it sounded like. Oh, right, but it wasn't. They just literally ate peaches and better in the, because if not, then like my husband's having an affair. With the peach. With several, multiple peaches. With his friend watching. So I feel like, I hope not. I love our film so much. Really?

Yeah, did you not? Well, it was not right. Like, yeah, I mean, the only thing I remember about it was that he fucked a peach and then ate it. And then it was like a spunky, oh, no. That forbidden love. What was the beach?

You could love a beach. I actually, I watched it the wrong time. I watched it just after Benny told me he was gay and we split up. And so it was the wrong time. And then I watched it. And I was already so confused of like, I don't know,

I was just very confused in my head about, I just, you know, like, am I gay? Like, do I like gay men? Like, I was just very, very, very confused. That doesn't make you gay if you like gay men? No, no, I know. I was just, it was a very bad time. I was all over the place. Okay.

And I watched that film and, and yeah. But you remember this song just quickly? Just very quickly. Right, hang. Okay. It was nice. Isn't it stunning? Yeah, it's calming.

Did I have any words? Yeah, it does, but I'm a boy you. Oh, that's really nice. Isn't it gorgeous? But it sounds like that song's got a lot of history for you. It does actually, yeah. My son was born to it, and I also questioned my sexuality to it extensively for a period of time. I don't know if that's questioning your sexuality, is it?

I wonder if you're attracted to gay men. I don't know what that is, actually. It's quite niche. It's quite niche. I don't think it would be the only one, though. You can see my confusion, though. You can see my confusion, though. Yeah, I can understand.

Will Young was my first. literally my first love I loved him more than anything you really did maybe I don't even know what it would be called no I don't know it's definitely a thing I'm sure it's a thing maybe I don't know Dave's not gay he's as far as I know no no but that would be a shock what I've been through I don't put it past anyone really no yeah no feel like you'll never truly know no yeah anyway yeah no fair enough yeah if Alex was jizzing and to a peach. I just, I just really have you wasn't. You know what? Also, arguably none of your business. I feel like it is. If he's doing it with his friend, well, I'm asleep upstairs.

If he's doing it with your friend, I agree that it's probably a little bit of your business. But also like, yeah, like, you know, that guy's engaged to one of my, like, closest friends. I just, I don't know, you know, I feel like it's, I feel like it's messy. It's not, yeah, it's not just like a classic, like, oh, I'm just, you know, I'm just hanging out with my mate, jizzing in a peach. It's more than that. You know what I mean? It's like I'm married. And he's getting married in a couple of months.

It's complicated. That film was weird. Unless if you're listening, can you let us know what were you doing with the peach of the pool? No, I don't know. It's fine. You're right. Not my business.

I don't want to know. I haven't got capacity for that sort of information right now. Do you know what I mean? Like, God forbid it's the worst. Bigger fish. I just feel like I can't. Bigger fish. You know, yeah.

100%. And you know, I'm not going to jizz and a peach with him. So if he's got to get his kick somewhere. You just go do you. Then his friend's doing you a favour, really. It's like providing the company. He's something of the to do list. Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry.

Army Hammer got cancelled though. And then I recently saw a video of him selling his truck on Instagram because he said he's run out of money. So he'd sell his truck. You're joking? No. I was like, I don't know. That whole thing was crazy. But he's doing like a comeback tour.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. I watched the beginning of an interview with him with another guy. I can't remember, but this guy didn't let him speak and I was like, I can't listen to this. But it was basic, this guy was just like basically apologising for him and just making excuses for him. For the cannibalism. But that's the kind of like, it's, that was, he didn't act on that. He didn't act.

I'm not a cannibalist apology. Apologist. Literally. Yeah, it's not a good thing. No, obviously not, but also apparently he was, you know, all the stories of, sorry, I don't like starting anything with apparently, allegedly, he was very abusive and there's a lot of reports with that sort of thing. And that's like, he was rightly, you know, rightly cancelled. Yeah. Yeah.

But then it was interesting to say that he killed, do remember that it escalated to, he's actually killed someone and like the LAPD? Oh, what sounds weird? I don't know, the sounds a fish. The LAPD got involved and like investigated the death of a girl, like, connected. To him. Bloody hell. Yeah. Anyway.

It's crazy. I am like very grateful not to have kinks particularly. Yeah. If I were into cannibal, oh, it would be such a horrible affliction to want to do that. Like it's horrible. Well, yes, because it's something that you're never going to be able to fulfill. Yes. You will never be satisfied.

No. Because famously you can't eat. People. Anyone. I'm really grossed out by. the thought of eating people like and it's not just because I'm vegetarian but like it's really like did you ever see the film the show the terror no I don't want to no it's it's um I mean it's fucking weird it's still probably one of the most haunting things I've ever seen it's got

Jarrod Harris in it okay and it's got some other people and he's it's it's came out during COVID it's a Ridley Scott series okay and it was basically like based very loosely on a true story of this expedition across the like the China, North China passage or whatever. So it was like they had to go through like the ice like through basically across the North Pole and it was like trying to get to Russia or China from the UK.

It was like when they were olden days trying to look for the maps or whatever. Make the maps, be the maps, see the world, whatever. And they basically like the story is that they got stuck, their remains were found by Induit people. And there's a lot of like, anecdotal stuff and I guess Ridley Scott's just like filled in the blanks but basically they all get stranded they all fall into psychosis because they've got lead poisoning from the food that the food reserves that they're having to eat

and then they will eat each other and get into some weird shit and it's kind of amazing because it is literally watching the spiral of like human insanity when you're when you're when you're in that's ridiculously is it horror yes it's a horrible anyway yeah and they then and then one eat each other. Yes. If you're never going to watch it, go forward like 90 seconds because I'm about to just put the spoiler in. But like one guy on like a suicide mission covers himself in poison and then dies. And then they, because he knows he's going to be eaten.

And he's like, they've all gone. They're all savages. So then he knows they'll be eaten. Why does he just run away? Where the fuck is he going to go? He's on that. Just run. To wet, to die?

Like, I mean, they're literally on the North Pole. It couldn't be colder. They got coats. Well, yeah, they've got coats. But like, it's the. North Pole. What are they going to eat? What are they, like, you're going to die. So that's why they start eating each other because there's nothing to eat. Well, I would rather be the eater than the UT.

Oh, are you kidding? I would rather be eaten. If, okay, right, we're in a group environment. We're on a boat. Eat me. Eat me. Do not make me eat you. I don't want to kill you. I don't want to chop you. I don't want to get to that level of human psychosis where I need to eat a person to survive. I'd sooner die. Don't include my children in this. But, but I think the will to live, the human will to live is so strong. I think when you get there, you'd be like, there's a bit of hope left. I could eat you and survive that little bit longer and I might get picked up, might get saved. I have long since maintained if any apocalyptic event were to occur, zombie, the starvation, whatever, I'd die.

Well, this is perfect because I can eat you. 100%. The only complication is I am a mum now, so I probably would have that survival instinct because I'd want to survive for them. But as for myself and my life, yeah, say, yeah, let me go, eat me. I'd be delicious as well. Say no more.

Like, I'm soft. Like, oh yeah, there's loads of fat on me. It would be great. Like, imagine those thighs, cheesy. Do we need to put a trigger warning at the top of this episode? I don't know if cannibalism is like a trigger. I don't know.

It's not great. It's not nice. This has been a lot. This has been a lot. If you were going to eat me. This is a weird episode. What would you start with? Thigh.

Yeah, no. It's got to be the juiciest, right? All my arse is massive, particularly when you get me pregnant. But like, isn't, it's the muscle we eat of like animals, isn't it? It's not fat. Yeah, because pigs are all fatty and you're going to pig fat. So you want like, oh, yeah, no, then I... You want a good thigh.

Yeah, fine, yeah. Give my quads. Nice. Yeah, okay. Mom always said that I could eat her, but I'm like, I just think you'd be a bit gristly. Like, she's so musly. Do you know what I mean? But you're all like...

Yeah, you... And you do want someone... Oh, this is a horrible conversation. Let's, let's, what a way to end. Guys, I'm so sorry. This is just absolutely descended. Ew, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Honestly, if you gave me the rest of my life,

I'd never be able to work backwards through that conversation to work out how we got here. Oh my God, vests to waxing to cannibalism. And jizzy peaches in between. Okay, well, yeah, on that lovely note of cannibalism, we will, I'm so sorry, we'll see you on Monday. It's a blowjob cannibalism. No.

Slightly. You have the option of ingesting something. I know, what are you going to do? Eat it. I think it's human flesh that you have to eat. Fuck, I don't say flesh. Sorry, okay, bye, bye, bye. Thank you so much for listening.

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