Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: My wife is down!

Episode Date: November 2, 2023

On this week's IIJM, the girls discuss homework, Em's granny and auto-correct mishaps.Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello I'm good I'm going to make us do something really fucking stupid that you're going to hate Oh, I hate you. Oh, you hate me. You don't even know what? Sorry, I hate this.

Right, well, that was a bit fucking quick, wasn't it? That was! That came out well quick. Slits right out. Thank you, Daisy Grant. Okay, have you seen on TikTok? What is this? Or are you too old? Probably.

There is a challenge that I've seen the kids doing. I say the kids. I saw Molly May do it with her sister. Okay. I don't think I can explain it. I feel like I'm just going to have to show it to you. Okay. And then you're just going to have to work out how it works yourself.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think I do, yeah. One marshmallow, check it out. Okay. Okay. Do you get it? So you go, one marshmallow. So we're going like this a whole time.

So it's like one marshmallow. Check it out. Okay, okay. Is everybody ready? Okay, okay. This is going to be the whole fucking episode. Right, ready? Go.

We need to do the clapping first. Oh, you love clapping. Okay. One marshmallow. Check it out. Woo! Yeah. Two marshmallow.

Oh, fuck. I fucked it. I fucked it. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay, okay. One marshmallow. Check it out. Woo!

Yeah. Two marshmallow. Two marshmallow. Check it out. Check it out. Woo. Woo. Well, yeah.

Yeah. I got excited that we were going. I love that. Okay, okay, okay, okay, ready, ready. One marshmallow. Check it out. Fuck sake. One marshmallow.

Check it out. Yeah. Two marshmallow. Check it out. Woo. Yeah. Three marshmallow. Two marshmallow.

Three marshmallow. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. Woo. Woo. Yeah. I'm so stressful.

I'm sweating. We got to three. Woo! That was pretty good. Everything hurts. That was so lame. It's so difficult. Okay.

Oh fun. I love a challenge. Okay, we can work on that. I feel like we should work on it in our own time. And come back. And then come back together. Excellent. Isn't it?

Isn't it insane when you think back to being a kid. You have to do homework? Because isn't that mad? Why? Because you've been working all day and you need to go home and do more. Yeah. I never did it. What?

Never did my homework. What do you never did your homework? But I did it like five minutes for the class off before I had to hand it in. Huh. Yeah. That's a surprise. Is it? Yeah.

I wasn't studious at all. I was so scared of being in trouble. Really? I'm so scared of authority. I did all my homework. Did you do homework? You kidding. Yeah.

Do I not like the kind of person that would do my homework? I don't know. I thought you'd have been like me, like do it on the fly. I think I probably did do it on the fly. Yeah. only when I got bigger people used to say I was very conscientious

as a child and you know it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy that people kept saying you're really conscientious and I don't think I am but I feel like I've got no you have to be

and then when I went to big school I think I became less conscientious because I actually don't think I am conscientious basically you know when you go to like the beach like you go to like an English seaside town

and they've all got like all your names like there's like those racks and it's got like everybody's names on and it's like cards or fridge magnet or whatever and it's got like oh yeah yeah yeah my brother and sister with their weird names never got them but there was always emily and there was like this one it was like a gold yellow card and it said emily and then it described emily and i think i bought it because i was like my name on it and then i took it home and it said like a kind and concientious girl so i read that

and i was like that's me and i think i went to be conscientious for like ever and i was like i actually don't think I am. I didn't identify as conscientious anymore. It's not me. Yeah, no, I've let that bit go. I'm transitioning away from conscientiousness. And I'm going to slap downshory. I feel like too much conscientiousness is probably like not a good thing.

Yeah? Too much self-awareness. Unfortunately, I'm incredibly self-aware. No, no. Like being too conscientious. I feel like that's like verging onto like people pleasing territory. Well, that's probably where it bloody came from. Yeah.

Yeah. There's something to be said for giving you. So they can't find themselves completely misrepresented at a seaside town. And then they pin their entire identity on that for the next 15 years. I thought that could have been my bad, but... Love that. Yeah. I deeped it.

You deeped it, shut up. Is it just me? Instagram, group chat and technology fails. Oh, dude. Instantly group chat. fails terrifies me. What did you do? What did you do? Dear Alan M, before my point, I just want to say that you guys literally give me the strength each week to get through my divorce and now being a single mom. Oh, well done. Fucking amazing. Honestly, like single moms, I genuinely,

like when heaven opens them first, like genuinely. I don't even have a child and I, yet, and I can't imagine being a single mom. Like, fucking hell. When Alex goes for his fucking crossfits, stupid thing in the morning and just leaves me speak. fitting taxes and I'm by myself and I can't have a shower. I'm like, how do these women do it? And they just do. They're just amazing. And there's just women are amazing and them in particular.

So, there you go. Love you. Whatever you say next. I feel more empowered scene and that I am part of something that is so relatable than I have ever been before. That is so fucking nice. Thank you. Love you. You're the nicest.

To my point, Al with her Instagram chat. What? what have you done Al with her Instagram chat is it just me who is embarrassingly bad at technology in my 30s Al I think you might be embarrassed I feel like this is a talk to the tag

yeah oh this is my broadcast channel I talked about it my awkward was my broadcast channel that was really really embarrassed I'm still like finding DMs about that I don't want to think about it but we love you

her name's Sam she put Loads of love Sam, so I feel like we can say hi, Sam. Okay, hi Sam, love you. Just to say, I feel like there's a statute of limitation, and I know the people that this is regarding won't be listening to the podcast, so it doesn't matter. But I had a really big scary work thing recently.

And I'm not very good at emails, in case you can't tell, because I like never open them. And I accidentally forwarded an email to the wrong person. And the person that it was about, it was a work thing. I'm not slagging people off. Like, don't worry, it's not that bad. But it was a work thing. And I forwarded it to the person that I was talking about.

And I had that moment where I got a text from that person being like, I've just picked up an email that I don't think was meant for me. It's like, I think you might be right. And for two days, I literally could not pick my head up off the ground. Like, I was in such a deep sense of shame. Like, I actually wanted to just be, like, eaten by the floor. Like, I was going headfirst into death. Al, it was so bad.

I think I FaceTime you crying. I couldn't even eat. I was so stressed. I wrote everyone I knew. I was like, this is my goodbye. I can't be alive anymore. It was really. I am surprised you didn't perish.

It was that bad. It was touch and go. Yeah. Yeah. Like I literally, it was crushing. Oh my God. Sorry, but I live in fear of something like that happening. There were a few more levels to it.

Basically, I'd got the initial email. I'd forwarded it onto somebody else with a note attached because it was work related. Then I'd forwarded the note with the, I'd forwarded the version of it with the note attached to somebody else and it had gone into the wrong inbox. So it was an all-round cluster fuck. Shit show. You know what I haven't done since? Forwarded a fucking email.

If I have to do it. do something, I take a photo of the email and then I WhatsApp it to that person. That still could be potentially dangerous as well. So what must I do? How must I communicate? I don't know. At least you have the delete function on WhatsApp, which we do not have an email. And that period of everything is gone.

It was just like one thing that I had, it was just like a time, like, I don't feel like I'll ever have business again. Do you know what I? Like, I'm not a business person. So I don't feel like, I don't foresee a lot of forwarding emails in my future. But it was a bad... That was bad. Jen, my sister, who's here,

she had an absolute fucking nightmare. She was working with my uncle. What did you do? She was working with my uncle and then someone, like a vendor, sent them an email and she replied to it. She meant to forward it onto my uncle

and instead she replied to it and said, he's just a fucking wanker, isn't he? and compromise the working, a very important working relationship. So that is mortified. Horrendous. Yeah. Well, kind of in that vein, we asked you for your nightmare auto-correct slash text messages gone wrong stories. And we have some good ones.

Okay. Okay, you ready? Yeah. I wrote, please. I wrote I wrote please I can't sorry

I wrote please piss through the letter box instead of post on the delivery instructions imagine little bell in smoking through mind you that would be painful have you felt the

ferocity with it yeah that's a full guillotine please piss through the letter box Okay, oh wow. I once asked for a pair of size three wellies. I already know what this is because I've done this myself. I asked for a pair of size three wellies on a public selling site. That means like vintage, right?

Or like Facebook marketplace. Yeah, yeah. I think it's safe for them. Didn't realize until I checked back later to a load of laughing reactions that autocorrect had done me dirty and changed wellies to willies. Never did get the wellies, also never posted on that page again. Size three willies? Size three willies.

How many? What's a size three? Tiny. I told you about the time that I was in charge of the home page of a magazine, online magazine, didn't I? And I, and I wrote about, it was a story, I know, it was obviously a slow newsday, a story about the Queen's Wellies. And I wrote Willys, the Queen's Willies.

Between that and the House of Condoms, I'm surprised you're even allowed to stay here. I was making a hot, stupid, I was making a hot chocolate work and I messaged my colleague saying, do you want a hot chick? oh my friend sent lull to her friend when her grandma died intending it to mean lots of love my grandma did that to me when her cancer came back she sent me a text and she said this is like olden days and she said

I said like how's it going or something I can't remember exactly what I said like how's it going like love you whatever and she was like yeah not great stupid cancer in my boob or whatever and then lol I think that's where I got it from just like the pathological need to loll

after everything's serious cancer's back loll bless her she meant lots of love oh my god if we ever talked about my granny on this podcast because I swear to God she was literally like the biggest most chaotic icon in the whole wide world

both of them were actually but this one was we called her we had Northern Granny and Summer Granny started as Northern Granny and then Southern Granny but actually Southern Granny didn't really worked because she was in the Alaman. So it's not that much further south than Doncaster.

They're both kind of northern. So we had northern and then southern. But anyway, northern granny once came out. So after the cancer came back, after the lull, we were on a family holiday in the Caribbean with my parents and my brother and sister. And my dad was like, she needs to come. Like, you know, she's not well, she's going to come out on holiday. So it was like a surprise last minute thing.

It was like, we just found out all we were out there. So it was like, why don't you come on out? So it's like, you just pack a suitcase. You come on out. It's like, okay, she's coming. And then we were really excited. She came like next day. So spontaneous.

lovely. My brother went to go and meet her and was like, I'll take the bag to the room for you, to your room and was walking the bag and was like, this bag is not very heavy, but okay, like she was there for like two weeks. It was like a very small bag. It was like, okay, not going to worry about it. The only things she had packed. Stop it. Was a hair dryer and a dressing gown, which I feel like in the two things that like every hotel room in a holiday resort come with. And so she had nothing. And she'd arrived on like a, Saturday I think and in where we were very Christian none of the shops were open on Sunday so she had nothing to wear so she ended up wearing my mum's she just a sarong but she was wearing her knickers

from the flight like she just was wearing my hand on little knickers and then she was wearing like my mum's sarong over the top and she went for like a little sunset walk like first walk of the holiday like oh I put my feet in the sand like I really need this right now big wave comes taking that sarong and then she's just left in the knickers and there's a whole thing oh I know so so sweet she was amazing. Honestly, I was really cool. I was obsessed with her. Every time she left, she'd always forget something. And I think she did it on purpose because she basically, she was always trying to get rid of her money before she died and she like knew she was dying. So every time we left, she'd be like, oh, you have to find me a hundred pounds because I've left it. That's how much

it costs. And she'd always leave something silly. So that like next time she saw her, she'd like give us a little and she'd be like, oh, my parents are like, you can't do this. Like stop giving his children money. I love that she turned up with a dressing gal and a hairdresser. I know. I know. I know. She She wants brushed her teeth with hair removal cream as well, you know. Oh, God. By accident. She was chaos. I bet she had silky smooth gums, though.

Silky. No fair on those. No, no. No, she was amazing. Anyway, sorry, I digress. I went from the lull, just to the men's. I liked it. Another one.

Got a message for my dad saying, mum has moved out the rest of her stuff, comma, L-O-L. My dad thought Loll meant lots of love, and that was very awkward. message my potential landlord Hi Karina and it auto-corrected to high vagina Oh no Hi vagina

Hi vagina Hi vagina Hi vagina Told my boss I emailed a cint Ment accounts Got kicked out of a team's call And quickly messaged to explain And it came out as

My wife has gone down My new boss said I really hope she's okay I'm meant to say Wi-Fi I'm married to a man so gone down where my wife is down about six months ago when we were living

at respective parents' houses my boyfriend and I were planning our meal for later that night via text he suggested something then I realised we already had dinner accounted for so I text saying oh fuck dad's taken max out when it should have said mac

as in macaroni cheese taking out the freezer and my poor boyfriend thought he was going to have to stage an intervention because we had just buried our lovely dog Max days earlier I couldn't text back quickly enough simultaneously horrified and also whetted myself Dad's taken Max out

That's terrible I've got to stop caveating with really random stories from my family This is really not funny You know Alex Alex's childhood cat was called pussy Because he named it It was a boy called pussy

It was a male cat And Alex named it and he was a child And the cat lived to be 19 Wow I know and when he died we were, me and Alex, it was our first time going away together and we were in the South of France and we were flying back and we were at Nice Airport

and basically the cat had, no, actually, he got the call when we were coming back saying that the cat's dead, super bad. We got back to Ireland and then we came, we went back to Ireland to go and be with his mum and then I think we ended up, I can't remember. Anyway, at some point we got this phone call from her, devastated and she was like, and I could just hear her sobbing and it was like, oh my God, she's like, pussy is all over the garden.

She was like, what do you mean? She was like, pussy is all over the garden. Pussy's been strewn on the garden. Because the fox had done it off. I know, because they haven't done it deeply enough. Poor pussy. Poor pussy. Oh, my goodness.

I know. And it was like, no, this cat couldn't be taken seriously, even in death. Because Alex had called it pussy. Who called it pussy? Alex did, but like, what was his mom thinking? Being like, yeah, sure, child. This poor cat. I know she did.

I get it. And she was so naive, I know. Because Alex said this cat would go missing all the time and they had the estate in Dublin where he was from and she'd be up and down the road going, have anyone seen my pussy? Pussy's missing. She'll see my pussy.

I'm like, just call it push. Anything else. Oh, poor pussy. I know, Pussy will work a garden. I know. Yeah, Alex loved that cat. I really enjoyed that. I enjoyed mostly.

Please piss to the letter box. I would be. what's the worst thing you'd want through your letterbox poo no context anthrax actually I say poo but like

anthrax is worse yeah fair enough yeah fair enough we've got loads more so I feel like we should pick this up next time the autocorrects yeah we can pick that up okay alright next episode part two

auto corrects I also want to hear from you please if you have ever sent an email to somebody that you meant to send to somebody else or if you've ever done what I did and forwarded the wrong thing and like if you did how you survived that

because I still like it's still the kind of thing that my gut just falls down yeah yeah this is why no one should bitch I actually I feel quite strongly like never mind because it's just a nice thing to do just to be a nice person

but also like just don't think of yourself yeah like think of the absolute bear face from shame that you would feel if you outed yourself horror I have dreams about doing it terrifies me yeah

that's so funny so just don't no just don't yeah okay okay okay so yeah for any of those horror stories please any of your accidental forwarding any of your autocorrect

anything at all related to an internet that we've talked about in today's episode that isn't criticism because we can't handle that be our fragile please email us at should I delete that pod at gmail.com Or you can DM us on Instagram

at Should I delete that. Thank you so much. That would say professional. So professional. That's us. That's who we are. That's who we be. That's what I identify as.

See you on Monday. Professional. Not conscientious. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creative network.