Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: No plates!

Episode Date: December 14, 2023

On this week's IIJM, the girls discuss blue sweets, trigger warnings and laser tag...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Shillard Delete That. I'm Alex Light. And I'm M. Clarkson and I'm pumping and I'm sorry. You can probably hear it on the mic. There'll be a little splash of milk every now and then. I apologize. Needs must. I'm still amazed at how much comes out. Tell me about it. So much. Tell me about it. Like, yeah, my tidies gets big when they're full. It's just there. All the milk. I know. I know. That's still fast. I know, and I feel like I don't eat, like, milk ingredients, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, well, you don't eat dairy.

Well, yeah, but not even that, but if I were thinking about, like, how to make anything, like, if I were making pasta, I'd have to get some ingredients, do you know what I mean? And it's the same, like, and to make a baby, like, you take a sperm and an egg and those are your ingredients, and then you kind of run with it. But with milk, I don't really know what it is. I don't know. Like, I don't know. So I'm kind of like, whoa

Like all they're eating today It's like a little sandwich Like I had a no dark hoisan wrap from Pratt And some melon Like how's that making milk? That's weird actually It's really fucking weird It's making a bunch of milk

How do cows make milk All they do is eat grass Why is their milk not green Oh god why do they only eat grass Yeah Why do they eat anything else But how does their milk come out white Well well

When I look at my milk In the couple of facts about milk Sometimes it's blue, like very pale blue. No. Yeah, when I see it in the fridge, I'm like, am I right? Because I don't eat anything blue. They don't even like blueberries at much. They're the only blue things I can think of.

Nature doesn't make a lot of blue. Nature doesn't make much blue. And I don't like synthetic, apart from breast milk, apparently. I don't like synthetic blue things. Like I wouldn't ever eat a blue sweet. Like what? Oh, okay. Like I don't like the blue ones.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'd never like the blue ones. Anyway, I digress. No, I don't like the blue ones. It's too bleh. Anyway. There's no blue sweets.

There's loads of blue sweets. Like what? jelly beans make blue sweets and then there's those like pink and blue long strip things that are sour oh I like those with the sugar on top I quite like those as well but yeah because generally I don't like blue things

but you wouldn't get blue wine gum do you know what I mean no no well they discontinued a lot of the blue I think they discontinued the blue smarty anyway I've digressed so very occasionally my milk's a bit blue but also it separates in the bottle so you get like

kind of looks like water and then kind of looks like, I guess, cream. And then you have to, it's all bitty, and then you have to shake it together. It's pretty rank. Oh, gorgeous. I know. So I'm basically just making like nutritional bitty water with my tiddies.

You are so welcome, listeners. What treat. And meanwhile, to like the dulcet tones of the pump, pump. What visual treat? Sorry. Little fact. Nestle decided to replace all synthetic dyes with natural ones, but unable to source a natural.

or blue dye, because it doesn't really exist in nature. They were brown, didn't they? They removed blue smarties from circulation. Yeah, I mean, this is my mum. There's only random facts. Replace them with white ones. White ones? Fuck, I wish they'd make vegan smarties, you know,

because I would love a smartie. I hate smarties. You hate smarties? Don't get it whatsoever. What's not to like? Also, don't like minstrels. Something about the shell. I don't like the shell.

What the fuck? If they made a vegan minstrel, I'd be the happiest person on this planet. I would love a minstrel. I would go to taranol minstries. I used to eat so many minstrels. Oh, the shell, the shell, the texture. The shell? The delicious, sugary shell?

Mm-mm. You're all fucking weird. Mm-mm. Oh. Give me a counter. Now we're talking. Counters are very good. You know, I only had about a year of enjoying them before I stopped having dairy.

Oh, gutting. I know, I know. The Galaxy do loads of vegan chocolate now, though, don't know. It's not that good. Is it not? Let me rate you. Let me just catch you up on vegan chocolate. Go on. Cadbury's. It's good.

Top tier, as is lint. vegan it's fucking unbelievable like so creamy so it's a dairy milk cabri and then so they're really good next category down

I'd say no mo I've heard very very good and then I think it's called umbars okay very very good that's probably it

and then there's a white chocolate that's like so good and I can't remember what the brand's called do they just replace the milk with like oat milk I don't know I don't know.

Because that sounds so delicious to me, but the vegan chocolate that I've tried is never quite a taste. You've got to try the cabaret one is with almonds. I remember getting so much shit when I said I liked the vegan cabri ones. Why? I can't even remember. I think it had too many nuts in and the nuts had been imported from somewhere and that was bad for the environment. And I was like, you know what? Okay.

I just want a bar of chocolate. We need to do that episode. Like we mentioned a couple of episodes I think back. Yeah, stories that you never could have foreseen being as problematic. as what they were. Yeah. Do you know what? And I'm not going to say what it was.

But once I did unpopular opinions, I shared one. And then I got a message the next day from a girl being like, what you shared led to a huge anxiety attack for me. I've been in A&A all night. And it's all your fucking fault. And it's all my fault. I was just reading it like, oh my God. I'm the worst.

I'm so sorry. But she was so angry towards me. It kind of understandably because I did trigger. Or be it inadvertently trigger I don't think I can I actually don't want to share it Because maybe it was bad that I shared it What was it?

This is a safe place Were you all your friends? It's like, it was like I think it said like Incest Isn't like If you say it isn't that bad Or like there's levels of incest

Or some thing about it being like Yeah like the queen And like second cousins or something Something like that I can't remember exactly what it said but it did say the word incest, which apparently was a big trigger. So you weren't saying incest is great. Woo-hoo, incest.

No, no, no. And I did share it to be like, I'm not sure about this one. Yeah, fair enough. I'd say yes, I agree. This is an unpopular opinion. That's a very unpopular opinion. And illegal, well, no, it's not an illegal to have an opinion. It's not good, though.

Yeah. No, I do. Yeah, I mean, if you were like, so I'm marrying my sister. Like, I can understand that that might be problematic. Well, like, if I shared one that's saying, like, incest is bomb, love it. Yeah, like, oh, here's me and my baby that I had with my brother. Like, yeah, that's bad. You didn't say that.

No. But she, yeah, it triggered her nonetheless. And I, then the next day, it was like, oh, my God. Did you say sorry? Yeah, I was like, I am so sorry. I never even thought for one second. Did she accept your apology? She did.

She came back to me a few days later and was like, okay, calm down now. Like, I still am going to follow you, but, like, wish you all the best and, like, don't worry. I was like, okay, well, I still feel horrendous, so that's great. And I'm crushed now that you've left, but all right. I know. What was it all for? I was like, you don't need to leave.

I'll never fucking say, mention it again. Not my words. Trust me on this one. It's not come up before and it probably won't come up again. I've learned my lesson. Well, should be listening to this now, going, oh, I know, oh Jesus Everyone they never learn

Yeah, we should do an episode of that Yeah, I'll be interesting I told you I've started saving my DMs Have you? Well, some of them So my mum will laugh at me But I've just started voice-noting people back again And you know this

If I get like truly Ludacrous Criticisms Actually if I get most The thing that I found is if you voice note back It kind of People get so angry over message and if you put a bit of tone like a bit of humanity to it it is yeah it kind of

knocks the wind out of everybody and it just de-escalates the situation and i think it's quite good and i want to remind people that they're talking to a person do you know what i mean and i think with tones like with messages back everything can sound really confrontational so i just dm people i just voicemail people back again like do you remember the other day i got all that shit for fertility privilege yeah and i was like oh my god Because you put up a picture of a pram. No, I put up a thing, tagging TFL. I said it was unacceptable that the lifts are so consistently broken at platforms

because it's hard enough with the buggy. But if you're in a wheelchair, it's completely unacceptable that you could get to your destination and literally be stranded on the platform. Like, it's just so, so unacceptable. So I tagged TFL saying like, you know, it's one thing with a buggy. I can manage. But there are people who can't and this is not. Okay.

Anyway. so that I didn't think was my fairly innocuous well fairly unanimous I would have thought in in concurrence but I was wrong but basically I's got message from a woman and she was like this is incredibly tone deaf you need to recognise that you're more privileged in more ways than than you realise like so many people would kill for your problems I was like oh my god I don't no but I can't caveat every single thing I can't I can't show I can't be like up at 3 in the morning, but I'm so lucky to have a baby, because obviously I'm so lucky to have a baby,

but I can't say that every time. Anyway, it's, it's so much. It's so much. And I feel like the longer that we carry on with this stuff, the more at peace I'm becoming with just being misunderstood. Being misunderstood, yeah. Good, I'm really pleased that you're finding peace with being misunderstood. It's too much.

Like, it's all too, like I sent you a DM me the day. We posted the trailer for, Emma the embryologist, who's talking all about fertility and her aim to demystify demystify fertility. And someone replied to me and was like, it's, you know, it's hard enough, you know, you need to be more careful, you know, more thoughtful of people with infertility. It's hard enough to watch you be pregnant, never mind you talk about fertility. And I was like, if it's hard to watch me be pregnant, don't watch me be pregnant.

Please, please don't. If you're finding this hard, go. go elsewhere like that's that's what you need to do yeah like that's not nice for you to be watching and finding it difficult but it's not nice for you to be told that people don't like watching you but I also can't hide it and I'm not going to hide it you know like I can't but also what she said in that message was how like you didn't have the right to talk about fertility because you hadn't struggled and I think that's such an unfair thing to say and I said it to you at the time I know I know and I looked at her page and it became very clear that she had been on this really

long and grueling journey but it's so and that's horrible but it's not to do with you and you have also been on a long and grueling journey with IVF and it might not look the same as hers but no one has the right to tell you that your journey is invalid, it's not valid because it's not as hard as it could have been because you've had a horrible time and you've had a happy ending but it was a really stressful ordeal. Yeah.

And it just invalidates it and it's not very fair in my opinion. I don't think so. We ended up having quite a productive conversation out of it because I said to her like I can see that this all comes from a place of pain. Yeah. And she was like, yeah, you're right. Thanks for acknowledging that. and stuff so I don't know

I'm proud of you though great thanks gross yeah yeah I'm just I feel like I'm just like I think it's getting to a place where you realize that you physically just you can't please everyone you can't even please like half of people you just can't it's just not possible

did you see the video that got my video that went really viral of wearing low-rise jeans yeah fucking hell that was misunderstood was it I got so much shit for laughing at Kylie Jenner for taking the piss up Kylie Jenner It clearly wasn't taking the piss out of Kylie Jenner Obviously it wasn't taking the fucking piss out of Kylie Jenna

Obviously it wasn't But then in a weird way Normally when something goes super viral That's when you get loads and loads of shit I got initial shit from people being like This is really problematic I'm following you like you're supposed to be a feminist You're supposed to celebrate other women

And what makes them feel confident And like you're laughing at them And I was like, oh my God, no, I'm laughing at me. I'm always laughing at me. And I commented back to people being like, if you are this quick to misunderstand me, honestly do unfollow because I'm obviously fucking laughing at me. Like, I've just had a kid.

Obviously, I don't want to wear low-rise trousers. That's that. Whatever. Anyway, but when it went super viral, all the comments came back being like, this comment section is delude. Like, it's crazy. Like, why- People agreeing with you? Yeah, people are like, why is everyone being so crazy about this?

We have to be able to, like, why can't we just disagree about some stuff? I have an embarrassing story for us. Oh, thank goodness. I love the subject. I held hands with a stranger in the bathroom. Who's bathroom? Hi, M, Al, and probably Daisy, too. Hi, yeah.

I've been listening to the podcast ever since it started and it always brightens up my week. Love you both. We love you, thank you. I had a ridiculous moment in the bathroom at a restaurant the other day and thought you'd like to hear about it. Yes.

Obviously. Of course we like to hear about it. The door for one of the cubicles was partly open, so naturally I pushed it to go in. There wasn't any resistance, and I must have had my hand around the edge of the door. Oh, no. Because suddenly I felt someone start grabbing at my hand from in the cubicle.

Obviously, I panicked and tried to stop going into the cubicle, but the hand grabber continued to hold my hand. And she opened the door further, so I could just see her head poking around the door, and that she was sat on the toilet. We stared at each other for a good few seconds, probably in shock, and then both apologised at the same time, and she closed the door.

I started laughing because the situation was so weird and kept apologising to her. She then opened the door again and said, I'm sorry, I held your hand. I was waiting for my friend to bring me toilet paper and thought you were her. Oh, no. Oh, no, that's horrible on all counts.

As weirded out as I felt to have tried, to go into an open cubicle and have my hand grabbed. I think we should all take a moment to appreciate how embarrassing that must be from her perspective to have grabbed a stranger's hand thinking it was her mate bringing her some toilet paper. Yeah, to hold someone's hand when you're on the loo is intimate. Oh no. Obviously, I told her not to worry about it, then went back to my dinner table and told my friend

and we had a good laugh. Moral of the story, when you're waiting for toilet paper from your mate, maybe close the door and wait for them and don't just grab any random person who tries to come in. Lots of love, Ellie. But their friend should have put it under the knee, under the bottom. That's so funny. Because I was like, why is she grabbing her hand? Would that make sense?

Oh, God. She thought she was offering her something. I don't think I've ever held anybody's, I don't think I've ever touched. I don't think you should touch people when you're, when you're, when you're weeing or pooing. I feel like it should be alone. Obviously not. Are you going to touch when you're wearing or pooing? Do you know what I'm so grateful for?

You know in the old... Oh yeah, I've had to do a lot of these and peace with her holding onto her. Yeah, well... Yeah, well, yeah, well, I'm going to put a nightmare. I need to get stair gates, it's a whole thing. Anyway, in the olden days, like, Tudor days, like ages and ages ago,

they used to just have loads of loos next to each other and they just have to sit there. Like, I presume men, because it just seems like such a blokey thing to do. But, like, they'd just be like a line... With no doors. With no doors back in the day. Randomly, right, there's this car.

Castle, I told you this, it's a castle in the Alaman, called the Castle Russian, in Castle Town, which is aptly named, probably because the castle's there. Yeah, anyway, it's a castle town. And it's where my mum's from in the Alamand. And there's a, yeah, Castle Russian. And every time anyone would come, Mom would always be really proud to, like, show the island off. So she'd always make us go for a tour of the, every time somebody knew came to visit, which was a lot, because it was like we'd spend our whole summer holidays there. So if any of my friends came from school or whatever to spend time, we'll go to the castle. We went to the fucking castle. We went to the fucking castle. probably three times a year for 10 years, maybe longer. About every time you're like, for fuck sake, Mom, no. I could give the tour. I know so much about that fucking castle. I know so much about how they served the food, about where the bread went afterwards,

about how they ate their food off the bread so that then they could eat the plate, which actually I feel like we should definitely do more of in modern times. They ate that, say that again. The plate would be bread. So then they could just eat the plate. Seriously?

Yeah, isn't that so clever? That's genius. That's actually genius. Isn't it? Like a really thick slab of bread. I like that. I would like my food served on bread from now on, please. I know, and then you can, you could, well, I mean, I suppose that's kind of what pizza is.

Oh. Well, it's just a carrier for like whatever you put on your pizza. Yeah. Or beans on toast. But then you'd also put that on a plate. And I feel like the point is no plates. Just bread. Just bread.

Yeah. And then sometimes they'd throw the bread, which would be all like, gravyy, they'd throw the bread for the street people to eat. Okay, okay. And that had a name which I've forgotten because it's been, thankfully, about 20 years since I've done this tour. But they did have the loos. Oh, God, they had these fucking statues as well at the bloody castle.

And they'd talk. So they'd be one of them on the loo. Like they'd be like a, like a, what they called? Like a mannequin. No, like a model. What are they called it, Madame Two Swords? Like a waxwork. What work?

Yeah, of like. people kind of like recreating it so you could see them like on the loo you know what it's time for it's time for a new trip to club do you want to come to castle russian movie i really want to see it i feel like we ought to go around i feel like i'm overdue at all i i could actually riveting well i am super interested i'm such a dorky kid i'm super interested in history and things so i probably liked it more than my mom always used to me because we'd have to do that one day and then climb the mountain on the other day i used to dread new people coming out because it'd be like, well, we'll go to Castle of Russian, take them on the steam train and climb the mountain.

Oh, the steam train's fun, though. Well, yeah, I'm not every time. She's not going anywhere. Like, we just go to Port Erin, and then she'd just drive us home again. Oh, I like that. The best case we'd get an ice cream at the beach. She'd drive alongside it. What, she?

So we could go on the train. Still now, if, like, my friends bring their kids, she's like, put them on the train, and we'll drive to meet them in Port Erin, and we'll have an ice cream, and then we'll drive home again. I love that. I know. That's so, how long does it take? I don't know, maybe like half an hour Oh my God, I love that

But you actually drive alongside it Oh no, you just like, I'll meet you there kind of thing Yeah, I'll be there Not like driving off the tracks Mom in her Volvo Yeah, no Yeah, I mean Well, as we got older

We'd go to laser blast Which is more fun Oh, I love laser tag Yeah, we've played a lot And there was this Anyone from the Alamant I really hope there's someone from the Alaman listening because they're going to know like exactly all the activities that we did.

There was this guy right and he ran, oh my God, he ran the laser blast like it was literally out like a falling down building in the middle of the island. Like it was just like kind of dodgy, I'd say, but also fine. And you'd go in and it would be like this thing was falling apart and it was so fun. And we used to go and we had this little friend, my mum's neighbour in the Alaman, My granny's neighbour, and then when she died, my mum moved into that house and, anyway, their neighbour. And she had, they had a kid and she was like, three. And we would sit her on the floor.

We'd all go to laser blast and we'd sit her on the floor and just shoot her because we'd all get less of points. And then like, my friend, Ellie, her little sister was 12 years younger than us as well. So we'd always be like, yeah, Grace, come to, come to laser blast, come to laser blast. She'd start never a while. And then they'd read you the results at the end and it would be like, me and my brother and sister or whatever like on the podium my first second and third and you'd see like we're just like shot to death like davy or grace like these kids like oh such like so bad and already the minute i had arlo i was like cannot all wait to go into later class yeah perfect

you can barely move perfect new candidate exactly gonna get all my all my points there so bad it's been so much like cheating i'm not gonna lie no so you'll think outside the box But if you're all doing it Oh 100% yeah You can shoot at the most I suppose Good to take my mum as well Because she's a panicker

She's getting better At the early days She was not She was not quick on her feet She is a lot more nimble now It's really fun I love laser blast Like that is pretty fun

That would be my dream Just to be able to like Set that up in my own house Oh it's so good At one point He got an I did it I did it for my 27th birthday

Did you? Are you kidding I don't for loads of my birthdays I love that Oh my God, I love it. Let's do it for my next birthday. What if it exists in London? Are you kidding? It's everywhere. Is it?

Yeah, but we need to go. You don't want to go to one of these fancy London laser blasts. You need the Alamah. You need that guy. I think his son's taken over. Anyway, we've got to go to that specific one. It's so good. I'll tell you what, Al.

We'll come. We'll relive my childhood. We'll go to the castle. Yep. We'll eat dinner off bread. Yep. That wasn't part of my childhood, but should have been. Oh, God, Cassio used to eat.

steam train please and an ice cream at the end and a lift back we did go to the beach when we were there but we didn't get the steam train don't know why i think i thought you were too old for it but i did that was the beach that was the beach we could have got the steam train there all back but we didn't i feel robbed i know sorry you robbed me i'm really sorry we'll go back we'll go back tour of the castle climb the mountain you can get the train to the top don't worry i'll climb it immediately there thank you beach yeah laser blast and we'll take both our babies and just shoot them just shoot them She'll say we will win. Why not we'll be like four months old? Exactly, barely even moving. Don't even think it'll be rolling over. If it is, we can get it in the front and the back and get double points. It'll just be sobbeder crying. It won't even be sitting up.

It'll just be like that. Awful. We're sick. On that note. I feel like I should work for me all the Montourish board. Sorry, we're such horrible humans. But we're really good at laser blast. Yeah, exactly.

See you guys on Monday. See on Monday. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAST Created Network.