Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Pamplemousse

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

On this week's IIJM, the girls discuss thongs, swingers and pineapples...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome back to Should I Delete That. I'm Em Clarkson. I'm Alex Lai. We're in the middle of something, guys. We're really are. We just turn the mics on halfway through, so we'll just catch you up quickly. I'm wearing two thongs today, okay? One's a real thong, one's a body suit fong.

I've ended up with two thongs. It's too many thongs, okay? They're right on my bum. I'm chafing. I'm wedgied. Two too many thongs. One too many thongs. I'd say two. Right, this thus begins the conversation. I exclusively wear thongs. That is so mad to me.

That is actually crazy to me. I took a tiny break when I had a baby, and I mean tiny. Like, I think I did two months of just wearing, like the big M&S, big pants. And then as soon as my C-section scar healed enough, I started wearing thongs again. Have you always worn thongs?

Yeah. Since I was a baby. Did you ever try pants? I had a little thong nappy. That's really funny. Yeah, no, I've always, I've always, I've lighted it up the cheese. Did you not try pants? Like proper pants?

Yeah, no, I've tried them. You just don't like them. Obviously, I didn't wear a thong as a kid. You know, I had like the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday underpants, like everybody else. And then when I got a bit older, I just, yeah, got into thongs. Okay. Probably got my first one, about 14, maybe.

I have never, I've never worn thong, apart from, like, on a photo shoot. Oh my God, what? A photo shoot, alright Folling shoot, fucking out Supermodel that I am. Katie Bryce over there. I only wear thongs at work. You know, when you have to like,

when you have to like wear so, whatever, shut up. I'm not defending it. But does the thong sit? Right, does the, does the thong bit sit in between your bum? Do you want to have a look at my bum right now? Yes.

Forgive me. It does. it sits right between the bum. How uncomfortable is that to have something between... Between the cheeks. Can I ask something really personal? Have you ever had a haemorrhoid? Oh, I had one after all I was born. And you still wore? Well no, because that was my pit, that was my... That was my full brief point. Because you surely you couldn't wear thongs with hemorrhoids. I think you probably could. It's not rubbing up against the anews. It's just, you know. Is it not? Not really. It's touching it. Lightly. Oh my God. I want to like get

clothes to you so you can just have a real like look around you're all right but it's uh no so it goes like oh i just love them i yeah i saying before we started recording i wear them to the gym that's mostly why i do all my running in them i i want to do a poll on the instagram okay and see how many people wear thongs should i do it right now on mine yes so we get the results in in time yes should i do it on mine too and see if there's a difference yeah i'm going to do I feel like your followers will be more thongy and mine will be more panty and I don't know why.

That's hilarious. Okay. Right, it's up, let's see. Okay, so we've just put it to Instagram because we're now curious. I can't believe you've never worn one. Apart from on photoshoots. Apart from on photo shoots.

Daisy, producer Daisy, said that if she goes to the gym or if she was to go to the gym, I don't think she does, that she wouldn't wear pants. I find that hooligan-esque behaviour I've done a lot of yoga classes with just leggings on and no pants Yeah yoga feels different actually I think I would only wear pants to feel more secure

In that people couldn't like see my ass Through the cameltoe through the leggings I mean if you do not have squat-proof leggings No thong will save you Like people have seen my cheeks Yeah sweaty met made one colour a few years ago That wasn't squat-proof I learnt that the hard way

I want to say it's like two massive like ostrich eggs That's what my butt cheeks look like As I spotted Ostrich eggs I don't understand what they look like What do you mean squat proof So when you squat

The material doesn't stretch So it doesn't go see through Which you need to check If you are going and spreading them In your yoga classes And you do not have squat-proof leggings You may well be showing your hoo-ha To the room

They can see my fanny Yes If you're not wearing nickels Daisy Yes especially in your yoga poses and your Pilates poses yeah exactly the downward dog oh god no one's behind me I don't think it's quite small

oh no Daisy the flasher I'm so excited that we've got a live I know live verdict live vote I can't believe you think my followers are thong people full knickers is winning by quite a long way really yeah but actually

And a mix of both is coming out quite high as well. My people are saying that they won't wear them. I just put, I love bongs and I won't wear them. Oh no, here my fong people are showing up. Interesting. So you've never worn one apart from to work. No, never, never. I just don't like, I just, I like a big, I like a big, Nicola.

I don't like my butt cheeks to be cut into four. Do you get the quad bum? If you wear knickers, right, you've got your ass, right? Butcheeks. If you wear knickers, then you end up with four butt cheeks because it just cuts them in half. So you've got bum, bum, bum, bum. But how the back of me looks is not my concern.

Oh my God, I love this for you. It's not my business. I think you're doing better with your body image than what you think. I'll leave people, I'll leave people other people to that. It's not my business. Oh my God, good for you. I don't care. I love that.

It's like the back of my hair. It's none of my business. I tell you when it was your business, do you make. Remember when that guy came to do your hair extensions? Fuck, that was bad. That was very bad. My extension's on show, yes. Yeah.

Okay, cool. He's your 70 pounds. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, no, I didn't want quad bum. I don't want a VPL. I like it right on my bum, out the way, just out the way. Fair? Yeah.

I don't even think I, I actually don't think I think about VPL. I've definitely got it all the time. Oh my God. Sometimes, yeah, sometimes I'll wear because I've still got all my pants from when I had my baby so I'll still wear those with jeans. Like if they're like the top of the parlor, I'll be like, I'll just wear those because I'm wearing jeans today.

Do you wear high-waisted thongs? Yeah. Or not. Yeah, I wouldn't wear a low-wasted one. I kind of wear them so I guess they're sitting like, yeah, sitting like here. Yeah, kind of high-waisted a little bit. Because I wear pants like really high pants.

Yeah, I've seen on Instagram. Like up past my belly button. Oh no, I wouldn't do that. No? No. Oh, just love a big. Love a big pan. Like, I like them to kind of like swish my hip.

Oh, that's low rise. No, no, no, above the hip. Okay. To like quite low rise. Mid-rise. Mid-rise, yeah, like a mid-rise dong. I'm an ultra-eye. Yeah, I'm an M-N-S dong gal.

That's what Father Christmas brings me. I actually had a nice text from my mom. Let me read it to you. What size are you for knickers? Are you a 10? I'm asking for a big bearded friend in a red coat, winky face. Before you said red coat, I was like, whoa. What?

Whoa. I had to say 10 and please tell them I love thongs Her big beard Oh god Yeah mom's got loads of friends Yeah Okay now we're levelling out I'm at 42% thongs 58% not

Are you? Yeah My people So I've gone 4060 I'm a 56% full knickers Yeah 19% thongs 25% mix of both

I'm not here for the mix of bothers. I only do it because otherwise I get like a thousand DMs being like, what if you wear both? So I do it for that. I haven't even checked my DMs. Oh, interesting. Okay. Well, I suppose this is why they make everything.

Horses for courses. Yeah, there you go. Have you heard hemorrhoids in your life? I have. I have one now. Oh, no. You're right? It's a pregnancy one.

Oh, no. Which I thought was only supposed to happen. After. After, with the push. It might make some friends. Oh. Might not. I really hope not.

Might not. I really hope not. How is it? Because like your bowels are funny in pregnancy as well, aren't they? Fucking constipation and... Oh God, my fucking iron pills made me so constipated. It doesn't pooed for days. Since I've been taking the iron, I found it really bad.

Take it with our introduce. And it's given me a hammering. Crock, that's when I got one too. Have you put the suppository up? that's incredibly satisfying no I've got them just do it but I can't don't ever think it I just don't ever think it can't be asked don't even love get Dave to do it for you oh no I can do it I just can't be asked just do it I'm also struggling to like reach around to them but the moment it's caught down go up the front did they get rid of

them yeah that's why they make them otherwise it would be a fucking useless product I've got both. I've got the cream and I've got the suppositries. I think the suppositries are better. Are they? So something about the word suppository is so... Sounds professional. Agree, yeah. Oh, sounds... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Suppository.

I had to do a ton of progesterone pessories. Do they go up the bum? No, they go up the front. Up the... Yeah, like a ton, two a day, I think, for like three months. When? When, when you were doing their IVS? Yeah. You can put it up your bum, but it's really...

your front bum you can do that and I started doing that but it's really irritating to the front bum so in the end I went to the back bum went to the back bum the back bum's the only bomb stop calling it a front bomb um yeah I had to have a pestery for my induction did you that goes right up oh it does doesn't it the front one yeah yeah it's the the front one I'm not doing this with you I'm not doing this you're engaged you've got a bottom you're and a vagina and a little vulva on the outside and an enous

but neither are pleasant really. I'd rather put a million things at the front bum than the back bum while we're on your... Oh 100% it feels much safer the front bomb.

It's just bigger. It is bigger. It is bigger. And I feel like it's more designed to have stuff in it. I remember the first time I did the egg collection I thought you were going to say anal.

I don't know. The first time I did it at all. The first time I did it all the bar. No, the first time I did an egg collection, the morning of, they tell you to put up a suppository, but it's a really fucking big one. I can't remember what it is, it's like a painkiller or something. Honestly, it was like 20 minutes of me lying on the couch, just like shrieking. And Dave being like, can I do anything?

I was like, get out, no! You shrieked? Yeah, it was awful. I couldn't get, I couldn't get it out. Did you mean you shrieked? Because we've talked before about how embarrassing screaming is. You were shrieking? Like how, what kind?

I'd be like, ah! Okay, she hasn't done anal. Can confirm I haven't. And I couldn't get, and I really hurt myself. Like I hurt myself. And I couldn't get it in. I didn't get it in. I had to go there and say to the nurses,

I'm really sorry, I couldn't get it in. And they were like, okay. I think it's such a relax. I then learned because I had to do all the pestries. To live to relax. Yeah, I don't know what was going on. I'm not sure. I wasn't convinced that something could go up there.

Now I know it can, but I just wasn't. I hadn't been there before and I was convinced it was like a one-way only thing so it was a lot it was a lot we got there to round us to round us off

I've got an embarrassing story sent through via DM hi guys sending love to the whole team you beautiful lot I have an embarrassing story for you that has in capitals literally just happened and for some reason I instantly thought of you.

Thank you. I thought you could cringe along with me. We can. So I'd learned last year that pineapples in people's windows is a sign of swingers slash sex parties. I wasn't sure if this was common knowledge, as I'd never heard of it before. It was then mentioned on one of the podcast episodes, so I thought that's twice I've heard this now. There must be something in it. My husband also told me last year that his boss had randomly dropped into conversation that he and his wife like to go to swingers slash sex parties.

How did he drop that into conversation? And also, why did he? I told you I got invited swinging once. Yeah, gross. Sorry, not gross. Lovely. Shut up, hemorrhoid out. Sorry, sorry. And I said, I wonder if there's a pineapple in their window.

My husband had no idea what I was on about and had also never heard of this. Anyway, fast forward to today and I'm taking my dog for a walk, the same way we always go in the mornings after the school run. And what should I notice as we turn the corner from the main road, a pineapple in someone's window? It wasn't even the kitchen window It was the hallway window You could see the shape of the stairs through the glass I was so excited to confirm to my husband That this might actually be a thing

I whipped out my phone to take a photo of the pineapple While I was taking it my dog did a timely poo So I put my phone away in my pocket and pulled out a poo bag As I bent down to pick it up I heard the front door open and someone coughing Slash clearing their throat in an excuse me kind of way I looked up and smiled and said morning The man asked if I just took a picture of his house

I panicked and didn't have time to think of a reasonable, feasible reason why I'd have my phone out and aim towards his house so I just said, oh no, no, don't worry I was just looking at your pineapple. Oh no. Oh no, that's the one thing you shouldn't have said. You should have said, yes, my real estate agent.

Oh, my family used to live here. Oh, no, I'm really into architecture. Oh, no, I really like the windows. Oh, I work in double glazing and I want to take this to my... There are so many things you could have said. Anything. This is possibly the weirdest sentence I've ever said to a stranger. I hope it is, yes.

he asked me, oh God, no, come in, have sex with me and my wife. He asked me why his pineapples should be of any interest to me. Oh God, he said, he needs to tell him. And I said, I just like pineapples and carried on walking hurriedly away. Babes, you mishandled that start to finish. But I'm proud of you for surviving it. No, I'm left wondering, was he just embarrassed that I'd noticed the pineapple? Did you think I was taking a photo for reference, so I had an address for my next sex party?

was it completely innocent and the pineapple had just been put in the window in the sun to ripen who knows all I know is I need to find a new dog walking route Oh look at a real pineapple

I thought it was like pineapple shaped shit I thought I think it's a pineapple door knocker No I think it's just anything like You know like a brass pineapple But then I also thought that apparently That's just what millennials do We're just really into like

Pineapples Pineapples I don't I didn't know it was like a pineapple But it is weird to have a pineapple by the window A whole pineapple A whole pineapple That's that's bizarre Yeah

I wonder why he'd put his whole pineapple. I think he's a swinger. He's not a swinger. Because why would he then shoo away the only person, presumably, who shouldn't any interest in his pineapple? I can't imagine. Well, maybe he was gauging interest. No, if you were gauging interest, you'd be like,

can I help? And then he'd be like, you'd be like, yeah, you're a pineapple, which is a dream come true for somebody gauging interest. But then he said, what is about my pineapple is of interest to you? No, he said, what is it about my house that's of interest of you? Oh, he said pineapple. I think he was trying. Maybe you were engaged in an innuendo. He asked me why his pineapple should be of any interest to me. And I just said, I like, I just like

pineapples. No, I think that would have been the time where he'd have gone, oh, you like pineapples. My wife and I love pineapples too. Do you love pineappas with anybody else? Slash, do you want to come in and have sex with me and my wife? I don't, or husband, sorry. I don't think he would let an opportunity like this escape him. How often must it happen? I've had pample grass Pamplemose, pamper grass, pamper's grass I've had the swinging thing in my window for over a year and nobody

has shown any interest So if somebody were to come to me and engage, I would pick up on what they were putting down immediately which this man has not done which leaves me to believe he doesn't have a clue and he's just randomly got a pineapple in his window in his window

Maybe what's ripen it. One of nature's absolutely Absolute survivors. Like what an extraordinary feat of science. They are so soft on the inside and so spiky on the outside. But then also when you eat them, they've got all these little...

Have you seen the pineapple through a microscope? No. They're like tiny little blades. That's why they hurt your... Shut up. Is that why? That's why they hurt your tongue. I just thought it was all the enzymes. They're like acidy.

Little fuckers. Because they really hurt them out. Well, are they really little fuckers? When you're eating them. Like that is a victim-blaming mentality Little fuckers I'll take that Yeah poor little things

I'm sorry Don't eat me And if they're like dying breath Not to change the subject You definitely want to change the subject But you know what the smell of grass is The smell of freshly cut grass It's fucking stunning is what it is

It is stunning but it's like pain chemicals Being released by the grass Because they're being bladed cut Slashed Isn't that awful That's what the smell is It's pain chemicals. I don't know if they call them pain chemicals,

but it's something like that. They're releasing like, like, ah. Like you trying to get that emeroid. I'll peel up your part. Exactly. Ah! Woo! Oh my God, that's the sound of sick.

I'm not really sad. So I no longer embrace the smell of freshly cooked glass, grass, because I know. I've seen you go to town on literally dead animals. Not going to literally go to town on them. What do you mean? We'll eat them. Oh.

No, look, no, no, no, it was a bad time. I try not to. No, I know, but like, I feel like you need to give yourself a break on the grass. They're a bigger fish to fry, literally. It's just hard to think of grass having pain and can. I know, it's like, if everything's alive, should I really be eating it? You know, all that vegetables I just said I ate. It's all dead.

I can't, I can't get into this. It's really weird. I'll end up very stressed. I was listening to a song this morning and the lyrics was just like, we were born just to die and I was like... Oh! Was it Lana Del Rey? No, it wasn't even.

So, um, there we were born just... Wait, hang on. Stick with me because I honestly, I was listening to it. Then I started planning Alex's funeral. It was a whole thing. Fuck! I told you this. And then I started thinking, oh God, I've got to fucking...

I'll have to plan it with his mom. Oh, God, it's playing in my bedroom at home. That's going to give Alex a fright. Isn't it crazy I like this We are born Only to die I was like

Just drying my hair And I was like Oh Well You've given me like that pit in my stomach No no no You know what I'm gonna pull you back

I'm gonna pull you back Because I watched a video as well That was like And again this might not work for you but I'm just, I'm doing my best, okay? I'm just, I don't know if anyone can help you because you were in a weird place before we started, so I'm just going to do what I can here.

But I saw a video and it was basically like, in like 100 years, you'll be dead and everyone you love will be dead too. I like this. Yeah. So we're all going to be dead. So it's like, at least we're all dead together. We'll be reunited.

So actually, there's really fuck all point in like worrying about what we are worrying about. You know what I mean? Just like right now, look around us. Like, what giddy little joys? Like, isn't it so nice? We're all here together. Love that. We're in our pretty little outfits.

It don't mean fucking shit. There will be in landfill, like, rotting the planet. Not great, but like, don't worry about that. It's all temporary. And, like, we just had our nice little drinks. And like, oh, my God, we're going to get on a train home. How amazing a train. It's like so clever.

Even though they're always late and they're really expensive when we get annoyed by them. But like, we're going to, and then we get back and we're with our families. I'm like, wow, so cool. And like, yeah, someone else will live in that house one day, but someone else has already lived in it before. And it's kind of rich with the history. And like, that's amazing.

Cool. And like, look at the sky. so beautiful it doesn't mean anything so all the stuff that like you're worrying about and all the people that are like dicks and like they really get on your tits and really upset you and all the bad things fuck them you know what I mean like who cares still rather be an ape you're so bizarre would you still rather be an ape daisy yeah yeah okay you wouldn't be able to wear that nice little skirt if you were an ape daisy and you wouldn't have suppositories to put up your bum you just have to you just have to have hemorrhoids forever they probably

don't get them they definitely get them life's less complicated yeah do Do apes get haemorrhoids? Hang on, then we'll go. There's been some investigation into which haemorrhoids were induced by the ligation in the inferior haemorrhoid in apes. The outcome of this was that after a certain amount of days, there were haemorrhoid piles. There were haemorrhoid or piles in the anus of 50% of the animals. The outcome was unremarkable. So half of apes have piles? Do you want to know what other animals can get piles? Go on. I found a website. While humans and many other mammals will typically develop haemorrhoids as a result of poor diet or chronic

dehydration. Well, that's where you get yours from, making it necessary to strain in to pass feces, resulting in an enlargement of blood vessels around the anus. Dogs will commonly develop the problem due to intestinal diseases. Oh, German shepherds get them all the time. Who knew? I'm going to check back your phone when I get back. I was hoping this would be a better list. Oh no, guerrillas get them really badly. Because of gravity. Pesky gravity. So you know what, our life isn't necessarily less complicated? Oh, do you want to see a picture of a chimpanzee with a pile? Oh, go on then.

Oh, no, these look really sore. Oh, no, no, no, they look like, they look like, oh, God, my, oh, no, my mom's don't know, they're going to haunt me. Yeah, my mum's got this really specific Christmas decoration that's like a whole lot of, like, holly berries. And this just looks like holly berries or raw sausages. Oh, God, it looks really sore. I think you're going to not want to be an ape anymore. Oh, my.

You don't want to be an ape anymore, do you? Wouldn't you rather be a human just with a one little hemorrhoid? Oh, my God. And you've got a nice cream for yours. What are they going to do? Oh, fuck. Oh, God, I can feel that. I feel like I've got them.

It looks like it's got like this raw chip-a-lars. Oh, stop it. Stop it. Oh, no. You said you were going to pick me back up. These are even worse. You brought me down. You said you were going to pick me back up and you've taken me further down.

Oh, that's you and Dave, Mr. and misses. Now I'm in physical discomfort as well as mental. And emotional. Oh my God. So they get really bad. Chimpanzees get really bad bile. Right, we're going. I can't.

I can't stop it. You wouldn't be able to wear a thong over that. I tell you. Oh, no. No. Oh, they're enormous. Okay. Well, that was nice.

Thanks for absolutely nothing. You are so welcome. And we will see you all next week. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.