Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: "Perhaps... answer differently"

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? the girls discuss mansplaining, geology (what exactly is it?) and park rangers...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, I've got a would you rather... Okay. Would you rather not be able to tell the difference between a baby and a muffin or change sex every time you sneezed? Did you just make that up in your head? No, I've thought about the baby and the muffin thing for ages because on the surface it's not that bigger deal. Like you think I could avoid situations like that. but actually the fear of knowing that you had no way to differentiate between a baby and a muffin would actually be kind of life ruining.

Like at this point in our lives, I think, like, you know, you've got your nephew around all the time, and you just never feel safe with him because you would never, because what if one day you mistook him for a muffin and you ate him and Jen came in and it was like, where's Louie? Oh, my God, that is so sinister. I take, I don't. Yeah, or like, you go to like a bakery and it's just like, with any confidence, do you know that you're holding it? Because also, I mean, less dangerous, but also you're kind of going to look insane. If you're just like minding your business, it's like, oh, what a pretty little baby jiggles, tickle, jiggle, wiggle, way. And then it's a muffin. You know, in public. Breastfeeding a muffin. People would be like, that girl's wacko. Can you say to people, is that a muffin or a baby and they can tell you like, yes, it's a baby or a muffin? Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's like if that's the kind of question that you want to ask like if you think that's a reasonable question changing sex every time you sneeze well it depends how sneezing you are as a person really doesn't it yeah you see georgie swallow would be absolutely like she would be she wouldn't she wouldn't know which way was Tuesday

because she sneezes when she if you ever watched her sneeze it's extraordinary eight on the bounce and they're tiny she goes and she does eight at least i like those ones what i hate is when people around you sneeze and you have no warning, they don't give you a heads up, and they sneeze, and it's like the earth shakes, it's the loudest thing ever, you lose your eardrums, and you just shout yourself. And then you look back and they're just like, what? It's the dad sneeze. Yeah, the dad sneeze.

But my brother does it, and he's not a father. To be fair, I do it too, actually. My sneeze is horrible. I don't think I've ever heard you sneeze. It's quite violent. I've been told I have an adorable sneeze. Really? Yeah, it's just what they're saying.

Yeah. Well, that's a real, that's a real thinker for you. I still haven't decided with any confidence, because sometimes, I just think it would just, I think it would be a very terrifying prospect if you were to have children. Yes. I also think it would be so exhausting to continuously change sex.

Agreed. Like, so exhausting. And I think about it from a, I mean, because I don't know if you change size or clothes. That's the thing. Do you have to have two more jokes? Yeah, and I think your identity would be confused, presumably, and then when you change, are you naked, or are you in the clothes that you were wearing

for when you were the other sex? and if so do they fit? What if you were mid-sex? A chew? That could actually be painful, potentially. It could be very painful. So there are just risks and things to consider with all angles. But I just, I can't, yeah, I just, I imagine,

are you walking into a baby, like a crash or a creche or a bakery? Who knows? Well, there you go. I realise that we haven't even introduced this episode. so hi guys hi guys welcome to visit just me i have something else for you i received a dm this week al yeah i've got a voice note and it wasn't meant for us i this voice note has landed in my lap it was not directed to us right so i got sent this dm on instagram from a girl okay so hi um i listened to the podcast with alex which is awesome and i recently received a voice note from a guy i run a small

graphic design business and i am just in shock and awe about this voice note and i would love you guys to discuss it or share your thoughts on it because I'm kind of speechless. This very weird offering advice and ending it just so passive-aggressively just made me feel really uncomfortable and icky. So I was like, my curiosity is piqued. What's happened? So this girl has her graphic design business, right? Okay.

And somebody sent her a DM on Instagram saying, some man sent her a DM on Instagram saying, do you make business cards for all sorts of brands? I just bought a business card and was super unhappy with my result. I found you via hashtags. She replied going, that sucks. I do do business cards,

but only for existing brand clients, sorry, which is a very polite way of saying, I can't help you, right? Right. End of discussion, right? Right. Could reply going, oh, no worries, thanks,

I'll keep looking. He did not do that. He sent her a voice note. Okay, okay. Oh my God, I'm nervous. Hey there, not a problem. Thank you so much. If I may offer any advice

for potential clients potential leads i would encourage to empathize with them and maybe be a little more solution oriented i don't take any offense to it but just from a business perspective you know we are always looking to work with new vendors always looking for great you know talent and people that we can use to refer to our clients so i would definitely encourage to in the future perhaps answer differently. I love how that ended. I thought it was going to be

like some sort of like philosophical. Just answer differently. I didn't want to hear what you said. And she was like going, I don't need you to mansplain my business to me, but fine. And then blocked him.

But I was like, what? I'm so obsessed with this man's energy. That is like ultimate man's explaining, like, ultimate. I mean, what the fuck? Can you imagine that in any other context? Like, you order anything, you order, like, a cake.

And they're like, oh, sorry, we're not taking orders for this week. I would really encourage you to be a bit more solution-oriented. And just answer differently. It's like, fuck off. Find your own solutions, mate. Yeah, literally, why don't you be more solution-oriented? Jesus. The audacity to send that to somebody, I don't.

They're like, God give me the confidence of a man, I swear to God. Literally, literally. Like women out here have been working to this sort of same company for like 20 years and they're too scared to go and ask for the payrides that they know they deserve. But this guy is going to get a woman to completely remodel her business because it's like, it's what it's, oh, it's so annoying, because it's what he wants. And my favourite thing, though, at the end there, you can see he's really thinking hard. and he's like, I've got to say something very clever here

and very businessy. I've really got to like show my business acumen here and he's like, so answer differently. Just that's it, done, finish. She should have replied in French. I'm so embarrassed for him. She could have written in the letter written on a business card.

I'm just obsessed with the audacity. It's so funny and I just think it's something that we should all aspire to this week. I just think we should all be a bit more solutions-oriented. and I'm really grateful to that man for business advice and you know what this podcast isn't categorised under business but it will be now

now we're offering those sterling tips I want that voice note is my alarm clock in the morning I feel like that would be such a good way to wake up I just feel like you should answer differently more solutions oriented I love it's like ringtone

Oh so good Well on the subject of voice notes I have a voice note too Oh my God, good I know how exciting is this So hi Em and Alex Firstly I just want to say that I adore the happiness

It brightens my day Every single time I listen And you remind me so much Of my best friend and I Aw I've attached an embarrassing story voice note It reminded me if something M would do And I fully wanted to yeat myself off the planet

I've never heard that to yeat myself off the planet. I imagine it to be like yachting. Scoot, bitch. It sounds Scottish. But yeah. I do hope you enjoy. Please keep doing what you're doing. Lots of love, Debs.

Thank you, Debs. Okay, you ready? Born ready. So just to give some context, it's a really warm day, and I've been working from home all day, and I've had back-to-back calls. So I finally had a point where I'd done all my calls, and I only had one more task that I needed to finish

before the end of the day, and I was like, right, I'm going to go for a walk to get some fresh air, and then I'll come back and do that. so I had such wholesome self-care intentions and then I went outside had my earphones in, shorts on, trainers on walking along, went into my local park and it was really busy because it's a warm day

and it's a school holidays which I kind of expected and as I was walking along I kind of felt like people were looking at me but I couldn't really work out why and I obviously couldn't really hear what was going on around me because I had headphones in and people just weren't looking away and this guy that was kind of nearby to me I saw him and then I noticed he had a dog with him

and I was thinking oh that's a nice dog so I was just looking at him, this dog and then I kind of noticed that he was making this like waving motion with his arm as if to say get out the way and I was thinking and that's when it suddenly dawned on me like fuck I need to get out of the way of something that's why people are looking at me so I looked behind me

and there were three like park ranger jeep type things like queued up behind me going at like three miles an hour and they'd been beeping at me the whole time and I couldn't hear them because I had my earphones in and so I like ran out the way and just left the park at the next available exit because I was so embarrassed like my walk was ruined oh no that is so embarrassing

that that is going to home me that he's going to haunt me oh no because this adds right this adds another layer to the embarrassment because it's not just the embarrassment of like you casually just strolling along okay it's the added layer of causing people inconvenience okay specifically three cars oh my god but also you look like such a knob who has a car is their entourage like three park rangers

surely the people think she was doing it on purpose oh my god that's so much better than any I thought she wasn't wearing trousers just the fact that the man like waved like that oh no like a lot of the things I think like embarrassing but like I could cope with it but that I would just I would be fucking mortified. That's the real peril of noise cancelling headphones like yeah okay safety is a big issue you could be hit by a car or you could be attacked from behind okay and that's that's what most people think of when they think of like the downside of noise cancelling headphones but I don't think we've thought this through I am never putting both headphones in again ever that is so embarrassing it's. It's so embarrassing. It's

It looks, I imagine it, it looks like she's leading a funeral procession. Like, you know the hers always goes behind, like, the family walking really slowly. That's what it is, except it's the park rangers. Cool, bro. Oh my God, how fun. And also, there's no one more officious in this life than a park ranger. They've got places to be. Like, and they've got shit to do.

I'm trying to imagine what a park ranger is. I thought she meant like a rangerover. No, park rangers are like parks police I think we call them parks please maybe the Scottish only the Americans call them park rangers because we've all seen elf but yeah we've got the parks police and honestly you can tell when they've got a budget

a budget situation you can tell when they need to hit their milestones because they come out in force and they start handing out fines left right and centre I live in a part of London where there are a lot of Labrador's called Basel and like genuinely spring summer you're seeing these dogs just like getting fines like 70 quid left right and centre for being on the grass and yeah it's it's a time that I find myself irrationally angry about like the policing of parks in London because you fall into one of two camps you're a dog a dog mum or a kid mum and very different vibes because the people who have children have miracles and the people who have dogs have dogs so it's like we we go out there rain or shine let's be honest normally rain we're out there when it's like snowing pelting icing hell freezing cold every single day and then in the summer the mums come out they put their little kids down on the floor as they should to eat carrot batons as they should

but then when boo is like hey there's a there's a snack at my face height and then you know then then then there's friction actually boo is the least boo was pretty good she's fine but then they're you know people butt heads so the park's please

they've got a lot to do they've got to keep tensions at bay you know they gotta keep the keep people happy but they were in cars right the park rangers were in cars

yeah they've got cars how else do you get to an emergency at the side of the park you expect them to run some of them have bikes but yeah okay that's I thought she went

I thought I was I was hearing raind rovers I was just like two three range rovers behind her that girl's a legend fucking love that she sent as that in voice day of form

was brilliant. I'm absolutely mortified for her. I love her a lot. Motified. Anyway, I have something to tell you. And it's somebody who's made me feel so much better about, you remember last week we talked about all the times that my impulse control was like non-existent

and I like shoved my hands in places that it shouldn't have gone. Anyway, I've got new toaster by the way and I can't stop thinking about it's actually a lot shallower so I don't think my rings could fit in it even if they wanted to. Oh my God, no one replied to us about that. I got some replies. Did you? Yes, you should turn it off at the wall.

You should not put your rings in the toaster. But you shouldn't be putting your hands in the toaster. And you know what? I feel like we kind of knew it. I kind of had a vibe, but it wasn't good to put your hand in a toaster. It didn't occur to me at the time, but you've got to be going pretty deep into the toaster when reality you probably need the tips. 100%.

And it's probably really hot. Anyway, hi, Alex M. Daisy and Amy. I don't know if I've done a job making a pod which tackles such important issues, thought of faking it also makes me cry laughing at the same time thank you so much probably not at exactly the same time so i can't stop thinking about this um i'm emailing as i can partly relate to m from last Thursday's episode when she was talking about injuring herself doing stuff that she shouldn't sticking her fingers in an electric whisk uh i find myself having very similar accidents

all the time i like that she's called them accidents because mine feel way too deliberate to deserve that title but thank you i appreciate it um i find myself having very similar accident or it seems i can't avoid this and often, sorry, it seems I can't avoid this and I'm often despairing it myself as to why I'm like this. Maybe I'm dyspraxic. As for me, it's less about lack of impulse control and more about being totally unaware of where my body is in space 90% at the time. Yeah, so we've got slightly, like she's, her sounds more like a spatial thing, whereas mine's just like the impulse control of a two-year-old. Not long ago, I was making some hummus, as you do. You know what? As I don't, I've never made hummus. I think I was trying to write to buy that.

I like I said, I said yes to that, as you do. Sorry, absolutely not. I was blending some chickpeas, some chunky ones were getting stuck in the blender, so I turned it off, or so I thought, and went to scrape some of them out. Turns out I hadn't turned the hand blender off at the wall, and whilst I was doing this, my right how, sorry, my right hand casually wandered over to the on button. Wait, what? My boyfriend heard a yelp from the kitchen and came running in. The blade had made a neat slide through my nail before I snatched my hand away. even the injury was much more minor than it could have been the hand blender kept spinning as I snatched my hand away

so my boyfriend walked into what must have looked like a murder scene there was blood spattered everywhere, ceilings walled up the cooker hood of the fridge we kept finding it for days I got off very easily compared to what could have happened however I cried not because I decided my nail in half because I'd literally been to A&E the day before after standing up from the toilet and headfirst into the corner of my bathroom cabinet taking a trunk out of my scalp whilst I did it so I was genuinely crying to my boyfriend like why am I like this

side note he's a nurse so having a nurse for a boyfriend is the best decision I ever made I think this is I think the worst part of the first incident all incidents really is that I'm an occupational therapist and it's literally my job to make sure the patients I work with are going to be safe when they're discharged to their homes

I am clearly not safe particularly when I'm tired off the work and I have no brain enough to give I will never tell them this but that's but for some reason I'm telling you her hand wandered to the on button did it turn on with her hand in the blender in which case

I agree accident was the right word or did you do a me and put your hand in the blender and the other hand on the on button because that's not an accident we'll call it an incident because those are what I do and they're not deliberate by any means

but they also, it's not like oh I slipped and fell it's like oh I've just done this really stupid thing I'm bit confused I've gone right through me you know when you feel all week your body goes all week something about nails

agree nail beds I'm super squirmy about them and gums I once remember in Stylus magazine someone was writing a piece about how gels wreck your nails and they said that the woman in the nail shop was doing something

to her nails like sharpening them and not sharpening them what do you call it filing them and it split the whole nail split down the middle in half and that stayed with me really stayed with me oh and every time I'm getting my nails that I think please say split in half please have split half. So far, so good.

Thank you for that. Intrusive thought that we can all now share with you. I, in the summer of 2019, lost seven toenails. Oh, did you put, this when you put it on Instagram? I mean, it was the summer of 2020. Yeah, we went through a big phase of sharing my missing toenails on Instagram. It was lucky, I mean, it was a wonder

that I kept any followers at all. But some people fucking loved it. You nearly lost me. Yeah, well, I don't blame you. I picked... It was quite disturbing. My big toenail My big toenail, I've only lost one big toenail And it was a bad, bad, bad day And my bad toenail fell off In the summer of 2019

I think I just went I did a marathon And I just started training for New York And I was sitting on a sun lounger And as it happened I was like, this is an obscene thing that I have done But it's way too late Because I was in a bikini

I was like, there's nowhere to put it So I couldn't just be like What if someone's watched me Just like take my big toenail So I was like, oh, I'm going to have to acknowledge it. So I did. So I just said to everyone, guys, my big toenel's full enough.

And then we took a photo with it and everything. So I thought that was less embarrassing than people just like watching. You know, you don't want to be like one of those influences in the wild or like caught on you've been famous, like picking your big toenail off and then like looking sheepishly around, realizing you've got no one's put it and then putting it in your basket. And then what, like, I was scared you were going to say you put it in your bikini. I don't know what I did with it. You know, I can't remember.

But I think I'm probably, knowing me, I probably held onto it for a couple of days. Okay, I've gone through. Oh, I feel really crazy. I'll find the photo. There's a photo with me like, look, I'm a big tail. Please don't. That's so disgusting. I was sitting next to my dad's girlfriend on the Sunnown trajectory, Sunlander.

I didn't think I knew her that well. And I was like, look, she was like, cool. She was probably like a fucking girl away from me. It's disgusting. Oh my God. I saw a video on the, on, and this is apropos of nothing. Don't read into it. But I saw a video on TikTok about the parent trap the other day.

The stepmom in that was 26? Fuck. Or 25 maybe. And it was like... They're so young. One of the Lindsay Lohan's, Lindsay Lohan, as one of the Lindsay Lohan's, says to her like, like, how old are you? And she was like, I'm 26 and I was like, you're fucking butt.

That is so, so, so young. But then you also realise with hindsight, she had a bad deal. Like, okay, she just, you know, she tried. to like hop on the older man train fine she was not prepared to deal with the baggage you know what i mean she probably thought she was getting like little louis wheat on baggage situation not like fucking six trunks full of like snakes i haven't is it just me slight gear change but here we go hello and the warmest of greetings from norway oh my god we've got a listener in Norway to ML and the rest of the wonderful podcast team if you ever have a bad day

I hope you can get some comfort over the fact that you make the world a significantly better place for hundreds for literally hundreds of thousands of people don't don't take me there today because I will hear you'll lose me as I am a geologist wow wow I just have to say I can't believe that smart people like us that's always what gets me people. As I am a geologist, I just have to say, you rock, bad pun intended, ha ha. Oh my God, I love that. I fucking love that!

What a good point! Thank you. I was thinking of one back, but I'm not that quick, and I also don't really know what a geologist is, but anyway, let's continue. Here is my suggestion for Is it just me. Notice that I haven't come in confidently to say what it is. I think it's

like the study of like... Ramps? Rocks? Yeah. I feel like geologists talk about like limestone. Oh wow. Geology is the study of the structure, evolution and dynamics of the earth and its natural mineral and energy resources. So that's like water, rock, like tectonic plates, sea beds probably. Yeah. So kind of the big stuff. Kind of the foundations of our existence is kind of what they do. It sounds really important actually. It's huge. It's terrifying to me.

I wish I had that sort of brain. I find it also interesting, but then I just can't retain the information in any helpful way. but I just I find rocks and like erosion and like the way the world's formed and tectonic plates I just find it fascinating yeah I think it's so cool good for you thanks so here's my suggestion for is it just me recently I noticed I have a clear tendency to subconsciously judge and be more critical towards women compared to men this realization shocked me because I'm a firm believer in feminism I also work in a very male-dominated field, which should have made me a more understanding ally to my fellow women. For example, if a new colleague is female and very attractive, I could have thought that she is using her looks to advance in her career or something along those silly lines. I would never ever think like that if the new very attractive colleague was male. I also focus so much more on the appearance of women compared to men. My attitude is also similar regarding behaviour.

Let's say that a female's phone starts ringing while watching a movie in the cinema. I've used it way more harshly than if the phone belonged to a male. I think realizing something is the first step to do something about it. I absolutely want to get rid of this bad mindset that I suspect the patriarchy is hugely responsible for. I would love to hear your reflections on this subject, as you always have so many good points and wise observations. Oh, do we?

But that's so sweet. Thank you. I literally, like the top of my head's just blown off about the phone call in the cinema. Same. Same. It's so true. When a woman's phone rings, I'm like, like, I'm so shallow, say, like, vacuous. Like, that'll just be one of our little friends or, like, it'll be a kid thing, or it'll be some histrionics.

But when a man's phone ring, I'm like, business is calling bitch, you better answer. Yeah. But, like, she's so right. Like, it's so, like, hardwired into us. I saw a really good meme on Instagram. I shared it a couple of weeks ago that was, like, we focus a lot. Like we're very happy to say that a woman slept her way to the top and we never say men are withholding power in exchange for sexual favours

and it's like, hang on, I'm going to read it, I'm going to find it properly because I think I'm butchering it. Hang on, let me just find the exact way. I can tell it's going to blow my mind. I'm just not quite there yet. Instead of saying women sleep their way to the top, why don't we say men withhold promotions until they receive sexual favours? Fuck, that's really good. really good and i tell you what i was watching the um woodstock 99 documentary yesterday if you haven't seen it on netflix you should watch it it's really good oh it's so good i was thinking they were

talking about like the kind of culture at that time and i was thinking it's like so pervasive but like the um bill clinton and monocke loinsky thing i googled their age differences yesterday like so back in like 1995 to 97 bill clinton had an affair he was married and he was the president and he had an affair with his intern. He was 49 and she was 21. He was the president and she was an intern. And like, obviously I was like two or whatever, one, two, one. Anyway, when it was all in the news, I was really young.

But still, you know, people make jokes about Monica Lewinsky and about the blue dress and she was the butt of every joke. She was the baddie and everyone. It's like, how the fuck is she the problem here? she was only just an adult by American standards yeah because they only let you drink at 21 and he was 28 years older than her

and he was the president yeah the president that doesn't get there isn't a more powerful person than that and I'm not saying it was like non-consensual but it's certainly coercive like it's so inappropriate and then for her to be the villain but that's it that's exactly what like that email was saying

it's just like we vilify women we're so quick to do it and I think it's actually really cool that you can see it in yourself because I actively enjoy catching myself and swapping out like when I see a bad driver instantly I'm like oh men like and I like make myself and it's like oh what's he doing you know when you kind of commentate on the on the car in front where I guess you don't really drive but like if you're oh what's she doing or like oh this this this woman can't park like I think instinctively we'd find ourselves going to assume that any bad driving would be done by

woman yeah so i like switch that tape out i'm like this guy doesn't know what he's doing if it's a woman i'm like i did not see that and drive straight paths i'm like i'm pretending that was a dude this does not fit my narrative forgive and forget um this this reminds me of that quote that i love that i'm going to butcher but it's basically like the first thought that goes through your mind is what you've been conditioned to think and then the next thought that goes through your and then yeah the next thought that you have defines who you are yeah that's what you actually I like that thought is what you actually think yeah yeah and like that's cool because it's like we can we can have those thoughts initially but it doesn't make us a bad person it's just like the conditioning

that we've had and then but the cool thing is that we can override that and that really then defines us and who we are and our true morals and values and that's cool so I think it's good to realize it because I think a lot of people will realize, will, will have these thoughts without without picking up on them. Yeah, definitely. And I think what's interesting is like we've grown up at a time where like, like yeah, let's say the Monica Lewinsky thing or the bad driving, like even like just so many, I'm just, I can think of so many tropes like dixie blonde like blonde jokes. Like they were all at the expense of women like airhead Barbie like God love Paris Hilton but like the way that that trope like pink fluffy, you know,

like everything of our childhood was so gendered in that like just like ridiculously I think that train wreck thing still fresh on my head like the kind of like the like the men were were American pie and like lad culture and then women were like oh fat like fluffy and like oh my god she's she's so big like she's swimming and whatever it just felt very separate and I think hopefully like the reason that we have so much to unpick and obviously generations before us are yeah, we've got that, but like, you know, our parents have so much more unpicking to do. And I think that's sometimes a really good thing to remember when your parents learn something new or when they kind of come round to a new idea.

I think that's really important to celebrate it because it takes a lot. Like, we have a lot to unlearn. They've got a butt time to unlearn. But future generations, hopefully, like things like the euros and whatever, just because it's in their psyche that women are doing these things more mainstream, hopefully their thoughts won't be so like instinctively derogatory forever

I really do have hope in that sense because I think like the difference between just our generation and the one before us is so vast in how we look at women yeah and we were little do you remember you had like Yorkie bars and it was like not the girls

and I used to like I was such a badass I'd be like I'm going to buy this anyway because my money's just as good as my brother's and it's all coming from my mom anyway so to yorky bar please um and like i'd be like that i don't feel like there's so much of that anymore like yeah okay we need like there's an absolute shit show when they got on tic-tok and stuff but that feels i don't know a kid's still like saying like oh you throw like a girl probably but i'd say like the kind of subtle sexist

stuff hopefully is ending you know you see a lot of these things being called out and it's like those kids outfits like daddy's little angel and like the boys are like heartbreak like mommy's heartbreaker or whatever like I think that's kind of getting less and less I wonder if it like because I mean my life is so full of women like it's predominantly women I really don't have like that much access to like men because that sounds weird um but I feel like they really restrict access for Alex she just has no access to them don't trust she keeps wiping her card and it's just access denied access denied she's like guys we need to be more solutions focused because I really want some more access to men um lol I knew that was weird as soon as I said it but I feel like women's

attitudes towards women is really changing however I don't know about men's attitudes to women that I don't have as much of an insight on so I don't know I don't know what do you think you have more access to men than I do oh I do yeah I've got I've got access all areas I'm in um Um, yeah, I, I actually, one of my best mates, one of my best guy mates is like, up the chill, like goes to football games, drinks those a lager, like he's like lad, lad, lad. Like, he's also, yeah, I mean, he's, he's also not because he's got his earpiced. So I get confused because I don't know what constitutes lads culture because I still think he's a super lad even though he's got an earring. So who knows, anyway. But I've always thought of him as being like a lad's lad.

And the conversations I have with him, the observations that he makes, the, like, even the memes that we share, like, we are entire relationship is basically just sharing memes, but we, I'm always really surprised, and I shouldn't be, because he's always been a really lovely guy, but I'm, I'm always kind of like, oh, like, yes, like when he's like, God, this is really bad or this is so frustrating or, you know, if you talk about, like, women's pain, I think, like, that's something that I end up talking about quite a lot like my sister's having some guiney stuff and it's just like you have to push so hard you know for answers because pain is just so accepted as for women and you know I think there would have been a time when the men in my life might have rolled their eyes if I'd have been like

yeah it is so much easier for men to get a diagnosis but now you know you can say that around the guys and they're like yeah I see that you know I can say like if Alex went into the doctor and said oh I've got this cramp in my stomach they would do all the tests all the scans all the whatever but when a woman goes in they're like oh well it's probably connected to two periods so I wouldn't worry about it um that's a massive generalisation anyway but I I've just been aware of having some of those conversations I think again like for our Irish friends the repeal the eighth you know when these issues come up and we get a say on them it's very important I do think I mean and I mean obviously I'm not going to keep like misogynists in my life and in my heart so I've got a biased view but there are

some things I'm able, even my brother, I'm able to talk to him about in a way that I don't think we'd have been able to a few years ago. Because I think he would have been a lot more defensive a few years ago particularly when it comes to women's safety. I think like Sarah Everard

and that news, you know, did shift a lot of perspective. So I do think it is getting better. Again, my pool. It is so depressing though because Andrew Tate stuff and like then you're just like fuck no like fuck knows and like my brother was horrified by him you know all the guys all the normal guys I know all the all the men I know like the fuck is this guy but he does also have like a cult following so who knows and it's dangerous to believe that it's just a weird random portion of society is dangerous to kind of just put them in a in a box and think that they don't exist in normal society because yeah because they do

because they do so it's so it's permeating everything like into kids into schools you know we keep hearing stuff like i got those of dms from teachers being like it's actually been horrifying so yeah i don't know you know maybe it's maybe it's very different but i think i think there's actually a massive difference as well between the subtle sexism that like um or like the subtle like conditioning that we have that leads us to misogynistic viewpoints like this email kind of things that this email talks about where we kind of like slip into misogynistic thinking or like patriarchal views or whatever and then there's the like over hatred of women that Tate's promoting and I think they're two very different things so like okay my my me and my brother grew up at

exactly the same time and we had yorky bars and it was like not for girls so he gets this cool normally thing just because he's got a dick and I'm like I can't have it just because I'm a girl so that was kind of like this like nonsensical imbalance that just was just just it just always put women on the bottom whereas this avert hatred feels like something very different like I like perhaps that's easier to educate younger people about and be like no this is crazy because this is whatever whereas the sort of subtle stuff within society does seem to be you know being fixed so who knows it does it does seem to be abating I think yeah I mean fingers crossed but yeah shit but honestly I'm gonna I have a have a I have a

think we should do that as like podcast homework we should um if we can if we remember know me and you will forget but try and uh write down the moments when we instinctively judge women harder than men that is a really cool idea and people and anyone who notices stuff please email it and tell us about it yeah yeah write it down because i think it's really and and when we celebrate men for doing the bare minimum because i still do that and i have to like catch myself like for like overly thanking men for doing stuff that I just expect women to do and I mean that like cooking cleaning washing hanging and and Alex is a bad example because God knows he carries me because he's amazing but still when my brother loads a dishwasher I'm like

and when my sister loads a dishwasher I'm like obviously I'll say Alex should be bitch but like yeah let's let's make a note of the times and I'm thinking babysitting is like number one it's number one. It's dad, babysitting. Got my out with the girls. Because there's daddy daycare. It's just called parenting, bruce. It's such a hands-on dad. Yeah. Oh my God. There's so many.

Okay, that's our podcast homework. But yeah, that would be really interesting. Write in, let us know. Email address is should I delete that pod at gmail.com. Also send us in your is it just me, you're embarrassing stories, stuff you want to chat to us about anything you want. We're open about us. We're liking the voice note medium.

We are loving the voice note medium, yes. Particularly if it's coming from strange men that just want a man's playing how to operate your business. Those are our personal favourite genre right now, just if you've got any of those lying around. But we will be back on Monday with a special summer episode to celebrate quite a big milestone, which we'll tell you about when we get there. Um, um, are you excited? Yes. Well.

Oh no. What are you going to do? Answer differently. It was the intense manic eye contact. I was like, I guess I was excited until you started looking at me like that. Um, okay, we love you all. Thanks very much for listening. We will see you on Monday.

Have a nice weekend. Bye. much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAST creator network.