Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Suntanned raisin

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

On this week's IIJM, the girls talk running, waxing and christianity...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do we get from bum holes to christenings? Hello, welcome back to to delete that. Hello. Hello. We're starting off strong here, okay? I'm ready. Do you remember a few episodes ago, we were talking about like doctors wiping their patients' bums after examination?

How could I forget? Okay. We've had an email entitled, Subject Line, Wiping Bottoms. Okay. Hi, had to write in after hearing your episode featuring the etiquette rewiping bottoms after a rectal examination. As a urologist of 15 years, I have examined a fair few bottoms in my time, and I've tried various ways to get around the excess loob at the end of the examination issue. Previously, I left the lube around the bottom, but found this often tucked people by surprise.

Even when I warn them of this, often patients are really really. embarrassed and so might not hear my instructions that things might be a bit slippery and to take caution. I then moved on to asking people whether they wanted me to wipe their bottom. Do you want me to wipe your bottom? Again, awkward and in my opinion ended up with too much time being spent focusing on this issue. Now, I simply examine the bottom. Once the finger is out, I have the tissue to hand, perform a quick wipe while saying, just wiping the jelly away and find this the easiest way to finish up. I hope this helps. We prefer to remain anonymous for professional purposes. Fair fucks. Love that. I agree. There we go. I agree. You can't leave it because

they'll what, they'll sit down for the after the after examination chat and just chup off their chairs. Yeah, you've got to acknowledge it. Yeah. Just wiping the jelly away. I mean, she's the expert. She's the expert. Who'll eat a question? Yeah, exactly. Wipe away to your heart's content. Also, like, yeah, I mean, their finger's been up. Like, I feel more sorry for the finger than the bumhole. Do you I mean, I feel very sorry for the finger. I wouldn't want to do that. No, I'd probably be the bumhole to the finger every time. Yeah, I've only, you know, only the tip went into Bua's bum hole and I just hated that so much.

Did you have long nails then? No, God, no, she'd know about it now. Towers. Oh, God, bumhalls are so weird, man. So weird. Now we've got a question, and is it just me, that I feel is more in terms? towards you. You're going to be a better answerer of the question. I am ready.

Is it just me exercising? Okay. Hey, love the pod. I've been listening since the beginning. Hey, Queen. Alex, you have honestly changed my whole relationship with my body, which I'm grateful for, and I'm what a light you are. Enjoy listening to you both a lot. Is it just me that feels guilty for not exercising? I don't mean in the usual diet

culturally way, but I feel like everyone is now preaching to move your body the way you want to, not to lose the weight, but because it's good for your mind and mental health and it just makes me feel guilty because I feel like I should be but most of the time I simply can't be bothered or am I just very lazy I'm so with this girl that same there's honestly no space in this conversation I say it all the time I get so many DMs for people being like oh my god I tried to run and I just hate it like I wish I could do this I wish I'm like oh my god you're not you don't have to like it like I hate the idea that people look at me

loving exercise and just saying like god I wish I could like there's chances are they love loads of stuff that I absolutely hate. And it's like, I just I love it and it's actually kind of annoying sometimes that I love something that is physically difficult to do and time consuming. Like, sometimes I'm just like, why don't I just love

watching movies and I just haven't got the attention span for it? And I don't like it when people send messages and, well, I don't like it, but it makes me upset when people send messages and say, I wish I could do it, but I just hate it. And it's like, if you hate it, don't do it. Like, we've got this really mean thing that we push ourselves to do it for whatever reason, whether it's diet culture

or feeling like we should. And it's like, I feel like I should love running. I feel like I should love going to the gym. I feel like I should love spinning classes. And it's like, yeah, but you might not. And that's fucking fine. Like, also, whenever I see these videos of like the oldest people in the world, there are always some like little sun-tanned raisin somewhere

with a cigarette and a glass of wine being like, the key to life is not getting married and just like eating loads of olives. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's never like the 64-time Iron Man marathon running superstar. It's always someone who just likes a glass of wine and lives in southern Europe. I get the guilt, though, like, less about enjoying it, but just feeling the obligation to do it

because I feel like everywhere we turn, we get more information about how good exercise is for increasing your life expectancy, you know, your joints and your health, your everything, your mental health, your physical health. And it's like, I just feel so much guilt for not doing it. I suspect, like, we were talking actually about this earlier. Like, I don't think we should underestimate.

mate. I think we've been painted a picture of what exercise should look like and it is running and sweating and weights and like all this and actually like paddle-bawning is exercise like walking is exercise. I walk everywhere and it's like that's exercise

I know people don't like walking but like yeah that's exercise for sure you can go bouldering like you can do loads of stuff but we have a really like concrete idea of what exercise looks like and if we haven't done that like the most

like we haven't done the most amount of that and burn the most calories and made the most of our gym memberships and we just think we haven't done it and I just think like that's really because then we just get in a negative space with it but we just think oh I'm shit excess and I don't like exercise and it's like you probably actually do there's probably stuff that you do like yeah but you just don't

think of it as exercise or do it because you feel like there's no point or like it's not good enough or like do you know what I mean exactly yeah I actually went swimming the other day you know Did you? Yeah. I love that I wish I'd swim. I really, I, this is the thing, like I, I, this is like, I'm about to give you

the biggest humble brat you ever heard in your life. Because I used to be good at it, now seeing how bad, like how much I've deteriorated, I hate it. It just reminds me of how shit I've got me. That's me with running, coming back to running after having a baby. I couldn't, I did week one, day one of couch to 5K and as I was doing it, I was like, I have run an ultramarathon and fucking look at me but then you just think when you're at the bottom the only way is up I know that's true but I think I think it's the idea and this is a purely like psychological thing and

it's stupid but it's purely the idea that I will never get back to that you might I I was young and training like five times a week I would I would never be able to get back to that and that like that no I hated it I absolutely hate I despised it I hated it I was I was like I quit because I hated it so much. Yeah. Because it's like four o'clock in the morning. Yeah, rang. I mean, swim. Awful. Foul. Yeah, you don't want to do that. But I had to get up early, like, in the fours. You still want to do that. No, I don't want to do that. No, I don't want to do that. No. And I did enjoy it, but it's just, it feels suppressing when you're like, this used to be an absolute breeze. And now I'm like, I'm fucking struggling. Yeah. I'm really careful when I think about stuff like that,

because I think now, I think maybe because I've had to come back twice, like, because I had my jaw operation and then I got pregnant. So I think both times, like, I've had to go back to X-S and it is, and it's, it's a kind of annoying particular with weightlifting, because it's like, I knew I could deadlift this and now I'm like, I can literally barely deadlift myself. Like, I'm so weak. And I don't mean myself as in my own body weight. Again, I mean, my literal body weight. Like, I can't bend down and it's turn back up again. Oh, I say. I thought you, I literally went in and I was like, wow. No, yeah. No, no. I mean, like, I can't like literally lift myself up my upper body off

my lower body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. um tragic and it's like that's depressing and like if you let it be yeah if you let it be you can be like oh I used to be able to do this and this and this but then I was actually talking to um my PT friend the other day and it's like I literally just have to like put a strike underneath it because I said I was like oh I really feel I was like it's so what's I said I said something about like oh I feel like I'm I feel like I'm I feel so weak and he's like this is the strongest I've ever seen you and I was like what and he's like no since you had a baby and it's like this is the new use. Yeah, this is the new, yeah, it's like new milestones. Yeah, like this is

a new year. And I actually, I liked that. Yeah. That's quite important. So, yeah. But you like forget past. Yeah, let that go. Proess. But I think let all of it go. Like, let all your expectations for everything. And it's like, okay, fine, there are some things that you have to do even though you don't necessarily like doing it. Like eating vegetables or like, fine, doing exercise for your whole health or your joints, whatever. And it's like some annoying parts, but being a human that you just have to do. But if you're going to have to do them, eat veg that you like or do exercise. you like do you not i mean but then also if you don't want to do it like who am i who's anyone to tell you to do it don't do it i know i do feel bad about it i mean easy to say but like yeah you are a grown up that's the best thing about big a grown up you can choose you can do what

you want yeah it's actually terrifying you don't have to do it you will live with guilt but you know you don't have to do it like what do you want for breakfast you can have chocolate who cares you can have chocolate i still sometimes find it crazy that i get to choose exactly what i eat in the day isn't it so weird yeah like we just had lunch we're in soho and it's like Like, we could have had anything. Why do we have such boring lunches? We could have had fucking anything out. We're in the central, we're in the epicentre of great food in this country.

And we're like, oh yeah, we'll just go to veggie press. It's like a food street market. What the fuck is what with us? I know. Humans are so weird. Idiots. Yeah. Idiots.

Like the whole world is so amazing and I just don't do anything. I'm just like, yeah, I'll have a mushroom rat, that's fine. Creatures of comfort. I know. It was nice. But could I've had nicer, probably. Absolutely. Absolutely.

I've gone to a Lebanese food stand, it would have been way nicer. Oh, that would be so. so nice. It would have been great. Let's do that next year. We're here on Tuesday. Let's do that again. Okay, fine. Oh, God. Okay. Okay. Right. Well, we've given everybody a complex about faked hands. It's time to give you all the complex about waxing. Oh, go on. I've got an embarrassing story.

Oh, go on. Hi, girls. Love the podcast, obviously. Although now I'm all caught up, so I actually have to wait to lesson to each episode when it comes out. They must have been so fucking sick of us. I swear to God. I have an embarrassing story. Jumping on the waxing story wagon. I go for, oh my God, I aspire to be this type of person. Every six weeks? Every five weeks.

Five weeks. Good for her. Oh my God. I'm about to go in. I'm so excited. I'm sticking to a schedule for once in my fucking life. I'm going next week. Are you? Six weeks after my last appointment.

That's amazing. Thank you so much. I haven't booked it yet, but I'm going to go. I'm going to go. That's, okay. I'm in trying. I'm going. We're going to come back to this.

We're going to circle back. We're going to circle back. And it's going to be stunning. I can't wait. I'm going to be bald as an eagle. Okay. I go for a full Hollywood every five weeks and have a done for the last eight years.

How does it feel to be elite? Yeah, how does it feel to be better than everybody else? I don't even want to think about how much I've spent over the years. Don't, babes. Just think about how much better you are than us. I get the full works, bomb whole and all. The positions my wax lady has me in are enough for all shreds of dignity to be

non-existent, but my last appointment topped them all. I was on all fours, one elbow resting on the bed, the other arm, each back to spread the old bump cheeks, the old bum cheeks, ready for her to get right in there. Told you, it's already very undignified. When she got back there, she said, Oh, no. No, what?

You've got a long hair down here. I'm sorry. And she proceeded to pull out a long hair that had clearly fallen from my head out of my bomb crack. Oh, my God. Needless to say, I was mortified and to make matters worse,

there was a little vanity mirror on the side that she uses for after she's done, brows, etc. And it was angled so I could see everything. unfold. I watched her pull this hair out of my ass like a fucking magician's handkerchief whilst I just crouched there like a retiree chicken. I've gone to the same lady for eight years and we'll continue to do so.

We've bonded over it, if anything. I'll be jerking my butt for any stray hairs thoroughly from now on, though. Thanks, love you. Do you like pulling hairs like your bum? I've never done it. It's never happened. I have to do it all the time. I don't know if I just don't have enough hair.

That's really weird. I've never had to do it all the time. Maybe it's got really big bunch of it famously after that fucking. door knocking for me. I've obviously got a massive ass, yeah. So maybe that's why I mean, it sounds satisfying though. It's incredibly satisfying. Sounds it. But it's an intimate

satisfaction that I can only impart on myself and if somebody else tried to pull a hair out of my buck crack, I would quite simply just drop down dead because that's not shared experience. I feel like she shouldn't have said, oh, you've got a, she should have just like

gone, just unplugged it. No one needs to talk about But she watched it as well in the mirror. That's so horrifying. Looking for your perfect place to call home, Lethbridgeland is shaping the future of our city with incredible communities like crossings, riverstone and watermark. Each neighborhood is designed with innovation, passion and responsibility to enrich your life today and strengthen Lethbridge for tomorrow. From vibrant urban hubs to serene coolly views, there's a community waiting for you discover the lifestyle you've been dreaming of in a lethbridge land community visit lethbridgeland dot ca and take the first step towards your new home today oh but to be honest the thing that shocked

me most about this that whole story is this girl goes through wax every five weeks just incredible for eight years for eight years imagine being that kind of person i just wish i wish i can't i wish don't have it in me i don't have it in me i hate beauty appointments i actually But also, I don't want to put it in my diary because then you'll be like, oh, can you come to the studio? And I'll be like, no, I'm getting my fanny waxed. And then that's just like not okay. I like to have my diary completely empty so that if somebody asks me to do something, I can say yes. Isn't that tragic?

And then I'm always scrambling for a last minute appointment that I actually want because I've left my diary open in case anybody wants to do anything. That's really sad. I know. Don't you always wonder why I've got nothing on, why I always say, yeah, I can do whatever. I just presumed it's because you hadn't thought ahead of time. No, no, no, I think. I think a lot about it, and I think I want to be available in case my friends will work need me.

That's nice. I know, Alex keeps putting things in my diary, like work things for like September. Like, and he was like, you feel on the 7th of September? I was like, yeah. Of course. Well, obviously. Turns out I wasn't actually. It was like the only date in September I was busy.

But like, yeah, generally speaking, I like to have everything free so that if something comes up, I can do it. But then you mean everything free of like, non-work, non-friend stuff. No, just everything free. I was very last minute with everything. But, but, but, but, so if I was to say to you in two weeks time,

do you want to go to the cinema on the Tuesday, you'd be like, no, because I've got to keep it free just in case. Because you're a friend, I'd put that in. I'm so confused. I don't know, I just feel like, it's probably how everything operates. They just keep the time free until they don't. But like,

That is the kind of the concept of diaries. You keep from free until you don't. I just keep my free until stuff comes in. And then I just say yes. This is such a revelation. Yeah, I just, I think I just do like normal people actually. So you're like trying to get to the bottom of this. I don't understand.

Yeah, I think they just do stuff normally. I mean, like, I think I don't go out of my way to book things in on my, no, okay, take what I do. I wouldn't book my own thing in. Like, I wouldn't be like, oh, I'll go by myself and go for a wax next week and go and book these things in because I'm like, well, I don't want to prioritise. It's so sad. I don't want to, like, prioritize myself because what if, like, one of my friends wants to do something or I have a work thing come in?

I don't want to turn down my friend or my work thing because I've put something for me in there. Do you know what I mean? But then you could reschedule. I could, yeah. But I don't do that. No. Because I wouldn't want to say, okay, so let's say, let's say Georgie brings me up and she's like, hey, do you want to, could you help me do some shooting today?

Could you help me work today? Or like, I need a chat. Like, are you around? Yeah. I don't want to be like, oh, no, no, I'm going for a wax. But don't worry, I'll resched it. Because she's so nice. She'll be like, no, no, no, do resched it.

I'll just be fine. Or you could be like, I'm having the wax at 10. I'll see you at 12. Could do, yeah. Harder with a child. Harder with a child. Harder with a child. Harder with a child.

Yeah, I am having to plan stuff more. Ugh. It's like. Plainful. Yeah, really hard to be spontaneous now. Yeah, okay, that's true. But, yeah, I don't know. I just, I generally like to be available to people at all times.

I like that. Bad boundaries, but good friend. Bad boundaries. Bad boundaries, but good friends. We've had to keep removing things from our diary recently because we've been, I think maybe, like, it's such a lovely problem type, but we've been so busy. Yeah. It's been horrible.

Like, it's been, it's actually been so intense. And I just really want them to die. And all my friends are getting married. And it's so hard because it's two sides of me on the one side. I'm like, I'm so fucking happy for all my friends. I was like, yay, love! There's a date in September when I've got, all on the same day,

my friend's naming ceremony for her baby, which is like a non-religious christening. Oh, right, yeah. My friend's wedding. Yeah. And a dinner party. How are you doing that? Well, I've asked, it's Sarah's dinner party,

so I've asked her to reschedule it. Okay. I was like, can't come, you have to reschedule. She said okay, I don't know she meant it. Okay. But the wedding and the naming, I'm going to have to do both things. I'm really hoping that the naming ceremony is going to be a morning thing,

maybe 11 or 12 and then the wedding starts at 3 they're both in London one's very south London one's slightly south London so I'm thinking I can do it yeah you can do both

but that's when that stuff I'm like why did I not leave that day free but then what are my alternatives say no to boat you can't just do that so then I can't choose also it's impossible that's impossible

that's impossible you're just going to have to say I'm going to a wedding but I'd love to come for the start of the naming ceremony and then I'm never heard of the naming ceremony and then I'll be out I haven't got time to hear the little or the last

but I'll pick it up. I've never heard of one of those. Yeah, it's just like, I think it's a nice thing to like officiate like for God parents and stuff but like if you're not religious, it's just like, it's an acknowledgement that the baby's been born, everyone can come and say, hey! That's nice. Yeah.

Like a sip and see. Like a sip and see. I've heard of those. Yeah, yeah. Like we're doing a christening friday because Alex is religious. Religious. Yes. He's into God. So, he's into the God.

We've got a nice little insurance policy. No. kidding. No, so we're doing that which is actually really nice and like that's going to be lovely. But then I don't know. I think I'm so lazy. I just think if I wasn't religious, I wouldn't bother. I'm not religious. But he's, he wasn't. Yeah, yeah. This has definitely been his show. Yeah. Yeah. I felt like it's a second wedding, but to the baby and then it's just me. Like, I feel like they've got their own, like he's really planned this. That's really cute. Like they've planned this thing together. I was like, okay, can I bring a plus one?

I'm like, oh, who's my date? That's really cute. Yeah, really. Oh, I can't wait. He's so excited. He asked if we could get flowers and everything. Yeah, he was asking if we could get flowers and everything. He's like, we did flowers at the church. I don't know if we need them.

He wants a half arch. Oh, my God. I know. I know. I've just suggested that we get blooms that say God squad. That I might not fly in church. I want, I want access all areas to heaven. That's what I want.

I want like, A-A-A. You can't do that. Why not? You're not in church. Because people would be like, you're taking the piss. I'm not taking the pitch. but in church they'll be like you're taking the piss access all areas to heaven

like get out that's kind of put a christening in as far as I understand it well it is but you can't say that we're all thinking it we'll have them at tea afterwards yeah yeah that was my contribution I think that's why Alex doesn't let me do any of the organisation he's like no it's fine I'll talk to the vicar I'm like yeah

fair enough fair enough oh that's so fun I'm excited he's really excited it's actually really nice you know like As I've grown up, I've been much more like, that doesn't sound like it, because I have just been taking the piss. Yeah. But as I've grown up, I'm like, I actually love watching how much this, like, means to him. Yeah, that's really nice.

Yeah. I don't know what Holla's going to do about God. I wonder what she'll think. Oh my God, I wonder. Yeah. Will you push her either way? God no. God, no.

God, no. What is that? What is that? What is that? It's that reverse psychology, I don't know. But like, my parents are atheists, and they were always very good with me. just being like up to you yeah whatever and I remember really really wanting to be into it I remember getting a really colorful Bible at primary school and being like oh my god like this this is

really cool if this is true if this shit's true this is unreal like this is amazing yeah like Noah's Ark and stuff I was like oh this is amazing I loved it and then as I got older I think I'm a bit too inquisitive like I've got too many questions yeah and I don't actually think schools are very good place for you to have a lot of questions about God because it didn't really have anywhere to ask and you've got like RS and stuff but they're they're kind of focused on the the RS teachings so you don't actually have the space to be like and what about this and what about this and actually as I've been a grown up and obviously because Alex is religious and the church has been a really big part of his upbringing and obviously like he's Irish and I think it's much

more like culturally and definitely in his circle and his life yeah religion was a much bigger part of it so I've been able to ask him a lot of questions although he does keep referring me he's like please talk to a vicar I don't know because I still have all these questions for him so I have a lot curiosity towards religion. I really admire and respect his love for it. Yeah. And so, yeah,

like I think I used to want to shit on it a bit which isn't very nice, but that's because I've been on a big of a journey with it now. But are you more receptive to it now after being with Alex? I don't believe in it. And you don't believe in it any more than you did pre-Alex?

No. But I really love what he believes. And I really love that he has that belief. And I really love how much that means to him. And I kind of wish I had it in a way. But I guess I do have it in my own way. Like I believe in fate and spirits and the stars. Like I don't believe that this is it.

You know, I'm not as black as I used to be. Like, I don't feel like that anymore. Yeah. I don't know what happened. Maybe I'm agnostic. Because maybe there is a god. I don't know. That's it.

I just realized, I think I used to be like, well, there isn't. And now I'm like, and looking at Alex, maybe I think, well, maybe. and for him I really hope so it will be a bit bleak in the afterlife if he goes up and I go down and he's going to take our child with him we're out of here I got a plus one

yeah I did not get the access all areas but yeah so I think with like I hope for him actually the all is into it but she has to make the decision on the own and like yeah because you can't

I mean he his mum obviously is very religious but you know he's a very very as you know a very strong-willed individual. Yeah. And if he didn't believe it, he wouldn't, whatever. And he just really does, and he just loves it. I really like that.

Me too. And I think a lot of the issues that I've had, this is a good, be a whole episode in itself. Maybe we should do a proper guest episode about it. Because I think, like, again, the fact that I've been with him throughout the Irish when they repealed the eight, so they got to vote on abortion and then the gay marriage vote as well. Like, I think it has thrown up definitely, like, me and him, but also, like, with his friends and like with some of, well my friends now as well, like conversations around like religion

and religion's involvement in like women's bodies and women's lives. And like I've been really grateful that I've got to have those conversations. Yeah. That's been very interesting to me and it's made me a lot less black and white than what I used to be. Yeah, I would like to have those conversations because I think that's a huge part of what really deters me from. Agree. Not from believing because I don't believe, but from the organised faith.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's really interesting. Yeah, having these conversations with my friends and people that I really respect and admire and love. Like, having these conversations just to understand. Yeah. It's really good.

Their perspective. Yeah, so it's been really cool. So... Maybe we should do an episode about religion. I just don't know who the right person to speak to would be. If you're listening and you have an idea or you follow anybody, let us know. Like, ideally it would be someone neutral, but curious. Or, I mean, like...

I don't know. One of the first people of God that I met through Alex was a friend of his who was a friend of his who was. a vicar who's gay living in Ireland and I really liked his attitude towards God like I really enjoyed like talking to him yeah I don't know there's something about it but yeah I don't know I think she's getting

christened because same the same way I felt about getting married is that my not believing doesn't outweigh Alex's believing will always outweigh my not believing because he's so sure and I'm not sure so on that level I'm like okay yeah you're more sure

than me so we'll go with your thing yeah and if she wants to pursue it, I don't know, like I'm a vicar, get confirmed, go to church. Oh my God, how exciting. She can do any of that stuff. Watch this space. Yeah, what's this space? You see her with a little dog collar on.

You'll know it's gone really well. Her and Alex are skipping on to church every Sunday. I'll just be in bed with the papers. I'll be fine. The papers. The papers. Bloody hell. I'll be scrolling TikTok.

And your orange juice. Loll, well, that got serious there, isn't it? It did, didn't it? Oh, sure. But I do get in touch if you've got any ideas. for that because that I think would be a really interesting episode I would love to do an episode about not about religion about Christianity so we are talking

very just we talk about Christianity yeah but I would like to talk about religion what I would like to speak to this Russell Brand I would really like to speak to him did he do the programme yeah yeah yeah yeah and he's now he's now really religious but not in

a Christianity's I don't know I'm gonna I'm gonna butcher that but he's he speaks really eloquently about religion and why we need why humans need someone to worship it's really interesting anyway we should try and spoken very specifically there about Christianity that's only because it's my

yeah yeah yeah yeah we can speak to somebody about yeah yeah I'd love to speak to him I don't know if you come on I don't know either really randomly go on you know the exam I did best in in school go on RS was it yeah I can see that I got like 98% or something really

I've got very curious mind to this I do find it very interesting you being good at that. Yeah. Didn't do anything with it. R.S and art. I mean, what the... Now look at me. Not utilising any of it.

I also didn't really well in geography. Wasted. I know. Oh, I did not. I needed. 83% in geography. Me? 95%?

Well done. Thank you. Right. Thank you all very much for being here and listening to us. Chat shit, as usual. And we were going to see you on Monday. Love you. See on Monday.

Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creative network. I don't know.