Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: The Christmas Gooch

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

In this festive IIJM special, the girls discuss their Christmas traditions, dealing with difficult expectations and how self-care routines go out the window...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, hello. Happy Christmas. Shall we sing a Christmas song? No. Come on. Let's go, okay, ready. Deck the holes with bells of holly. La la la la la la la.

That was more I was going to do, but I like it. Let's go. Felis Navidad. Belis Navidad. Okay. And on the first day of Chris, is that a triggering? for you after last year. 12 is a lot of things.

Oh my God. I don't know if anyone came to our live show at Christmas last year when we did the 12 days of Christmas. Oh my God, it was so long. We chose the longest Christmas song ever to rewrite. And it was like, it wasn't even halfway through that I was like, we've fucked up here. It was like...

Massively fucked up. Two days into Christmas. I was like, oh, we've really fucked up here. We've really fucked up. 12 days are so many days. I could see people like drifting off. Yeah, fucking fair enough. I got people leaving.

Literally fair. It's Christmas time. It's Christmas. Do you feel festive? I feel so fat. I felt festive since October. Is you? Yeah, I don't know why this year.

I felt so festive. Maybe it's because you're brooding. I don't know what it is. It's just, I don't, I just, I love. Do you think we're peaking too early with Christmas? In life? In life, yeah, with Christmas. What do you mean?

Well, I feel like it's been getting earlier and earlier and earlier and earlier. I'm like, are we peaking a bit too soon? It's always on the same day. Are we peaking mid-December? You know? I don't know. I don't think so either, but I watch this, you know, obviously watch a TikTok video

about it. You know what I think about TikTok I've decided but I just think we've got too many opinions. We've got so many fucking opinions. We've got so many opinions. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I just think some of them are best kept in. Off. Yeah, in, out, not out. Yeah, I agree with you. What's not to love about Christmas? Everything sparkles.

Everything. Everything. People are so grinchy about it. I know, it's just like, oh, fuck off. And people being rude about about, um, trees being erected before the 1st of December. When did you say erected?

I don't know. Put up. You put it up whenever you want. You bring that Christmas spirit and that Christmas joy into your life. You listen to Christmas music whenever you want. Yeah. Like good for you.

There are so few things that we can just unapologetically enjoy in this world. Yes. Chocolate and Christmas, just leave them alone. And it's so special. I just love it so much. This is all those first Christmas. I am beside myself. Like I am so.

excited. I actually don't even know what to do. Are you going to wrap her up presents for the day? Yes, so I've decided, seeing she won't listen to this, let me tell you my plans. She might. She might. Seeing she is not cognizant, I'm going to run the surprises. So we're doing her stocking, which I'm so excited about. But then I was thinking, I was like, what a sound to put in my stocking? Because my mum still does stocking stuff, but she's adorable.

But it's always really practical stuff, like pants and socks and, like, bath bubbles and like chocolate. Yeah. So it's always like little really healthy. helpful things. Yeah. And seeing as long as not even want, and I was like, right, well, nappies,

socks, baby grows, like she needs these things. Give her the melty sticks. Way ahead of you. She's really enjoying these like melty buttons right now. Okay.

Because the health visitor, the 10-month appointment was actually like, you can give her some chocolate at Christmas. And I googled it. And I was like, I don't know about that. Seems a bit young. Jury's out on whether or not.

She said, why don't you put some white chocolate buttons in her stocking? I was like, oh my God, that's so cute. Oh my God, that's a please do that. I know, I know. And film her trying it for the first time.

I know. I know. Okay. Really cute in theory, but like, so maybe, maybe I won't. Maybe I will. Do you guys out. I just don't know. I don't, I don't really occur to me that, like, when's she going to have sugar?

Yeah. When do they have salt? Not now. Oh. Like, I think you have a bit now. I don't know. I just don't get, like, I don't really, I don't really, I don't really give her, like, I don't know. Like, I'm quite funny about what I give her.

Like, I've ended up being quite like a batch cooker. Have you? Yeah. Like, I cook. She likes omelets. Does she? Yeah, I make omelets all the time. She likes she loves them.

Put those of veg in those. Yeah, I don't know. Not to make this about me and my anxieties and my neuroses, right? Yeah, let's go. But this kind of thing scares me about being a mum because I wouldn't be able to do that. I just whip stuff up like that.

I find that incredibly hard to do. So Ella's kitchen is fucking amazing. The pouches. Which is what I would like to do. No, you buy them. Just buy the pouches. Yeah. Just buy the pouches.

But I would be able to just whip up an omelette You don't whip up an omelet You just buy the pouches Okay fine So I Will my baby still grow Allo's thriving Like when we were in Tenerife

Yeah but she's getting omelets And batch cooking Well not always Okay Famously when I tried to make the fucking fish cakes A parasite was in them So no more fish cakes But cooking for a kid's so easy

Because you don't have to flavour it So and you can deliberately overcook it So actually you might thrive I make these like little cheesy fritters for her Literally, you overcooked potatoes, you overcooked veg, you just smush it all that up, add cheese, and then, like, just sort of find out. But you have to chop all that up. Yeah, but then you overcook it.

That's not the problem to me. That's not the hard part to me. Chopping's easy, Al. Or like having the things in the first place is that, you know. But you can buy stuff. You're really good at buying stuff. That's how you ended up with a drum kit and these stupid ears that we're wearing. Oh, they're so cute, though.

I love them. I really love them. They're furry. I know. I actually, I'm going to wear them. for the rest of December. So cute. I really love them.

No, you'll be fine at cooking. Anyway, I'm really excited. I'm going to give her... Ella's Kitchen. Oh, yeah, Ella's Kitchen is great, but I'm just really excited for, like, all the Christmas things. Like, she helped to decorate the tree.

Obviously, she was hopeless, but it was nice to have her there. And, like, oh, she's just going to love it. And I found for her Christmas present, because I was like, what did you get a one-year-old? Because everything she needs, I just buy. But I found this, like, beanbag armchair, and it's like a baby armchair.

It's for toddlers, really, but, like, she'll grow into it. And it's like I'll show it to you. It's like a pink pinstripe baby armchair made of bean bag. Cute. And it's going to say all on the back. It's really cute. I'm really excited.

So yeah, I just can't wait. That's first Christmas. Do you think she'll like open her presents? Yeah, she opened a present the other day. Did she? Yeah. A bit of grabbing era. Yeah, she's going to love it.

She'll care way more about the paper, which is why for the stocking we're doing practical stuff. Okay. Like I bought her a TV remote. What? Because she plays with our TV remote and eats it all the time. Oh, there's like this is annoying. because she's just changed as a channel, so I've bought her TV remote.

Like a kid's one? Yeah. So she's got her own TV remote. Maybe you should be like, fuck that. I want the adults for long. No doubt. No doubt in my mind. Do you buy a beer presents?

Yeah. Yeah. Treats, they, bones. And because we're at my mum's house with all the other dogs, I have to get all the dogs' bones. And all the dogs get toys. But yes, we do the dogs presents. Do you give them a roast in there? No.

That would be a lot. That would be that you're cooking for more dogs than people. That's true. That's a good point. Six dogs now. Yeah, that's true. lot. Will you do Christmas altogether? Yeah. So we give our dogs roast in it. It's so funny because everything is gone, obviously, the whole bowl is like licked clean apart from the broccoli and the

carrots. No way. Yeah. But they're licked clean perfectly of the gravy. It's quite amazing, really. That's hilarious. I just lick them up and spit them out. Boer wouldn't eat them at home, but if Arla gives them to her, she'll eat them. And if the other dogs are there, she'll eat them. Really? Yeah. It's like she comes to peer pressure. Yeah, yeah, all like panics. Yeah, 100% panics. So you'll be all the dogs and all the humans and all the kids this year. Yeah.

Worf. Yes, yes, yes. For the whole time? Yes. And when will you go to Dave's family? Not this year because it's too close to my due date and it's too far away. Are they going to come to you? It's like a four-hour drive.

So, no, we'll see them after the baby's born. Whoa, that's sad. Yeah. Christmas, sorry, I found Christmas so hard for this sort of thing. Like, I know. we talk about it being the most wonderful time of year. And I do believe this part of December is so good. But I think that the actual pressure on the day is quite horrendous. I don't know anybody that just has a truly happy Christmas. I could not cook. I feel so sorry for the people who host and

cook. Yeah. Does your mom always do it? No, we do it together. Okay. Is that at your mom's? Yeah, I've helped cook for the last probably 15 years. Let me guess what you do, the raised potato. Oh my God. That was so unkind I do the roast potatoes I do Half your Instagram content It's roast potatoes

Yes it is I'm feeling quite hurt by this I do those potatoes I do the nut roast I do the nut roast Oh I love not roast Do the nut roast I'll do

Yeah I basically do the like The veggie side So like all the veg And the nut roast And the veggie gravy And then mum would do like The bread sauce The turkey

Okay And the turkey takes I butt on a work Pigs and Blankets That's not really my lane. So it's just cranberry sauce. That's all her stuff. But yeah, we kind of divide and conquer.

Everyone does a bit peeling. Everyone does a bit help. My brother's a really good chef. Is he? Yeah, he's amazing. Like, yeah, he's super good. So I think everyone would choose for him to do the cooking. And you do everything from scratch?

Yeah. Like the sauces and everything. Yeah. Really? Wow, that's amazing. That's what my brother makes. Like, he makes chili sauces and chutneys and stuff. Wow, that's so nice.

Yeah, he's really good. So, yeah, and he can whip up leftovers. I mean, I wouldn't have it, but like a turkey curry and like. Oh, bubble and squeak. Yeah, that's, yeah. Yeah, so everyone, my sister's hopeless, obviously, but we all like cooking, so we just kind of like, dream team. That's really nice.

Does your mum do all the cooking? Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. By herself? No, so Catherine is also a little, she's, Catherine's like the little domestic goddess of the family. She's brilliant. So she does a lot. And then what mum does for us, the more inept of the sisters, is she, like, gives us little tasks.

So she's like, you, she says to me, like, you peel those carrots, It's like, I'm good at that, you know? Okay. I have one job. I'm not, my mind's not pulled in different directions. I'm not stressed. I just peel a ton of carrots and I'm good. I'm all good.

Love that. Can I give a top tip to people listening who do like my rose potato content of which there is, there is a substantial board? I love it. I love it too. If you have an air fryer, I don't know if you could do it in Chris in an oven, but if you've got an air fry and you're listening to this and you're preparing, so we peel the potatoes on Christmas Eve because just get it done for tomorrow,

like less to do in the morning. you get all that potato pill do not put it in the bin put it in the air fryer with oil and salt maybe a bit of rosemary maybe a bit of garlic fry it up in the air fryer

it's fucking stunning and then you just got a thing of crisps it's so good and there's no food waste and probably super nutritious as well right because it's got loads of nutrients yeah so we have those like little Christmas Eve snack now

nice just brought that in as a tradition do you do roast potato and mash no just roast potato just rice so my mum would do ham which is weird and mashed potato for Christmas Eve and pineapple that's what we'd always have

and peas and sweet corn which is like on Christmas Eve dinner gorgeous yeah which obviously I can't have the mash because it's not vegan and I can't have the ham because it's not vegan but you can have the sweet corn and the peas and the pineapple yeah so I don't really thrive Christmas Eve isn't great for me

but I eat the potato bill I sound like a pauper in like 80s 1890s don't worry about me I've got my potato feel high nutrition Gorgeous. Conflour flour cheese?

It's not vegan. Oh, would they do it? Oh, no, they don't do that for Christmas today. Do you guys do... I love that. I love that. I love that cheese. No, no mash.

Just roast potatoes, cauliflower cheese. Food's the best bit about Christmas. It is, isn't it? It's so good. But it's disappointing that you've only got a certain amount of space in the body.

I know, my brother sometimes fasts in the lead-up. I don't know if it works like that, though. No, I don't think so. Because I think it just shrinks your stomach a bit maybe. What do you, what's your run me through your Christmas day? So we do wake up presents. Yeah. Sausages and bacon sandwiches. Lash. Then chocolates. Lash. Then we play some games or watch something. And then dinner. We have dinner quite late like five o'clock. Yeah. And then watch whatever Christmas specials.

are on TV. Oh, so nice. What about yours? We get up, we do stockings. Do little stockings in my mum's room. And then blended family, we see my dad. And then in the morning and we all do presents together. Like, you know, like family presents are not stocking presents, like gifts to each other.

Ah, so they're different. Stockings in the presents. Yeah, stockings are like, like, the little, like, chocolates and Mama put like a satsuba in there and like... Oh, cute. And it's really cute. And it's so nice now. We've got Arlo as well. That's so nice.

Because we kind of drifted for a while without. much purpose because we're all adults and now there's a kid again it's like woo stocking it's like yeah really fun and Alex's mom will be there this year as well okay she was there last year too and then yeah we'd do that like we'd have like like champagne or like little not box fives or just not necessarily alcohol actually but just a little drink and a little little little canapes oh nice fancy we know not canopet I mean yes canopays in that it's not nimbly bits nibbly bits yeah I'm just fancy yeah have canopays have a little sausage yeah little vegan sausage Yeah, literally we just have sausages

I don't know I call them canapes But roll with me And then, yeah Do little prezies and then we'll do Sunday lunch And then And then yeah, just chill Really, we'd just play games Until bedtime

We'll go to bed like eight Do you watch the Christmas specials? No, no No I don't know We never really did My sister would always go by yourself And watch the Doctor Who Christmas special

Like she'd leave us at the Christmas dinner table And go watch Doctor Who But none of us really watch the TV on Christmas Day Independent Queen I know what she wants Yeah she's wanted to Doctor Who It's from David Tennant. Love that. Yeah, it's pretty chill.

On Christmas Eve this year, my whole family are getting together. Like, my dad. Oh, wow, everyone. Yeah. So. God, it's getting a big event. Yeah, it's great. It's just, like, Christmas is just chaos.

Yeah. It's fun, but. It is, isn't it? Especially when, like, I don't know how, because we've got two kids in the family now, but in the space of a month, there's going to be four kids. Yeah. And that's like, next year, it's going to be chaos. It's going to be chaos.

It already is chaos. It was chaos with one kid than two. And I just can't imagine. And I don't think, I think it's like the snowball effect. And I was like kicked off with the kids. So I don't see it like slowing down. Well, you know, see you having less. Hopefully not.

No. But I mean, there's going to be more. You know, like, yeah, I just think there's going to be more and more and more. It scares me. Yeah. Well, if you're all. All five of us. Yeah.

And you'll probably all maybe have more than one. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. If everyone had two, it's ten kids. Whoa. And some of you might have more than two. Yeah, Catherine, I think, would have more than two. Fuck, that's a lot.

You're going to have, you're going to be at home alone. Oh my God, actually. I forgot to tell you on. I'll fly home from Tenerife. It was literally like, I literally saw the home alone family. Like, they were that bad. Like, it was, the whole thing was such a shit show. It's not Christmas related.

But there was this poor woman in a wheelchair, like an older woman in a wheelchair. And the Tenerife airport staff, like, there was no respect for her as a human. Right. Like, and the machine broke. And she was going through it. They were trying to make her get out of her wheelchair to go through the thing. They were like, it's met her little beep.

And it's like, she was being pushed by somebody whose whole job was to like help disable people through the airport. She was like, can you get up? So do I get up and walk through in. Yeah, literally. So she was like, well, obviously like I can't do that.

Like, I'm in a wheelchair. And then they were like, take your shoes off. I mean, they were literally plimpsils out. They were the tiniest things we've ever seen. And they were letting like my head to come through with trainers. She would take her shoes off. She could get them off, but she couldn't get them back on again. And she was just there struggling.

And I was like, you know what, and I was holding Arlo, and they were keeping Alex back with the pram, and I was holding Arlo by myself. And I was like, this is so intimate, but I'm going to have to ask her if she wants help putting her shoes on, which is like so dehumanizing. Anyway, so I felt really bad for her. So I was like, I offered. And then I didn't want to touch her wheelchair without permission. But this family, just like the Home Alone family, they were like thousands of them. And they just like swarmed her and were rushing past her to put all their bags on the thing, like jump the queue. They weren't with her?

No. Oh, they were... No, and this poor woman was like in the middle of them and I literally, I was like, you... This level of chaos is going to result in a kid being left behind and you know what, you're going to deserve it? Not the kids, but you.

It's your own fault. Yeah, they were literally the homelope. And the home alone parents were horrible parents. Horrible. Horrible. How can you not notice that you've missed a kid? I hate that film. It, like, disturbed me as a kid.

Isn't it really disturbing? Yeah. I feel like I've forgotten something. Pairsport. Kevin! And it's like... It's a thing you knew. It's only a fucking subconscious lady.

How could you not know? How could you not know? My parents had five and, okay, one of us might have gone like a miss for five minutes. I think they only had two or three. Yeah, yeah. And there's just cousins. It's like count your own kids. Like, how could you not notice?

I know. I don't like this sort of like chaotic 90s parent thing. No. The memes going around that's like we're supposed to think that they were like, don't they look really old in it? and they were only supposed to be like 45. I think they're supposed to be like our age. Like if they're having kids...

That's, yeah, probably, actually. That's depressing. Yeah, they were just terrible parents. Yeah, bad. And to do it once, fill me once. Shame on me for you twice. Did they do it again? That's why there's Home Alone 2 and 3 and 4.

They did the same thing. They left in the second time as well. How did you get away? Social services would have got involved after the first time. Yeah, that's too far. Like, the police should have done more to stop the... Like, not help the kid, but, like, stop the parent. Do you know what I mean?

I've gone... I mean, how old was the boy? Six? Seven. Oh, my God, that's really bad. You can't just leave it at home like that. No. I'm really pleased you know that, though, coming into motherhood.

Thank you. I've been reading. You're going to do great. I've done an NCT class, so I'm going to be fine. I thought it was more like 12 or 13. No, no. That's appalling. It's appalling.

We shouldn't have been laughing at that. No, it's very bad. I wasn't, though. It's freaked me out, no end. Yeah, absolutely fair enough. The idea that your parents might do that to you. Yeah, I bet you he didn't have a secure attachment style. Definitely not. Definitely not.

No, no, no. Yeah, now I feel anxious and worked up. No, I'm not going to leave Arlo anywhere. I'm so excited for Christmas. I can't what, sorry, this is random, but thinking about Christmas films, everyone's watching Christmas films. I can't watch films twice more than once. In life?

In life. I just can't do it. It is quite often to explain. us to watch a film that once a year exactly. Exactly. It's like, we know exactly what's happened. Yeah, I agree. Like, I cannot be bothered with the holiday this year. Even though Judea Gloria's the fittest fucking thing in the world in that film. I don't know, you know.

I'm not really, I don't know. Kind of get it. I know I do, I do get it. We saw him. We saw him in the flesh the day. We did. Yeah. No, I should have told him he's an absolute dish. He's so fit in that. Singled out. He never forget. It was quite. Yeah, it's just, I don't know, not quite for me. Mr. Napkinhead wasn't as funny as what these kids made it out to be, though. I saw something say, I saw another meme that was like, that was the funniest thing to ever be on TV.

Mr. Napkinhead? Mr. Napkinhead? I was like, really? Hard disagree on that. That is a low bar. That is a very low bar. Love actually, on the other hand, I could watch every single day for the rest of my life. Yes. I love that film.

Yes, I like it more. It is problematic. I do like it more, but I can't watch it again and again and again. Boring. Where's the novelty? No. Why aren't there any new Christmas films? There are loads of new Christmas films. Oh, okay. Bratio Curtis has actually made a new Christmas film this year. Jeannie? Yeah. Yes. Have you seen it? No. No, me neither. We should watch it.

Yes. I saw it being advertised. And Willy Wonka, I really want to see Woody Wonka. I'm scared of new Christmas films though. Because they're not... I know you don't like Will Farrell. I like Elf. I don't like The Grinch. He gives me the Willie. Which one? Because there's like animated one No, the real one.

The Jim Carrey one. He gives me the Willys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does too much with his face. Yeah. Do less. Oh, always when it comes to Jim Carrey, do less. Do less.

Yeah, I find it very stressful. I can't handle it. I only watched it once as an adult. I think if I'd watched it as a kid, maybe my view would be different. The cartoon one's quite cute though. Yeah, I can believe that. And quite like visually, I don't know.

I just find him physically revolting. Jim Carrey? No, the Grinch. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he's supposed to be attractive. No, but, like, physically, like, I look at them and I'm just like, awash. It's like a big bit of snot.

He just like a big tennis ball. He just like tennis ball, actually. I was left out in the rain for ages, and then run over by a car. Yeah, I really don't like the crunch. It really gross dresses me out. But I would love, actually, I just adore. I just adore. Like, poor Liam Neeson, widowed, just breaks my heart.

Like, I mean... Yeah. The Kieran Nightly thing does freak me out. Now I know how old she was at that time. You know, very young to be getting married. Yeah. Very young. Even if she was supposed to be older for the film,

like, she only looks like a few years older than what she actually was. I know. So what was, yeah, I don't know. It's a bit weird. I think I've said this before. The halter top she wore when she went away for her honeymoon, has been an age cold. She looks so good in that.

Do you know what reminded me of that is, do you remember when we interviewed Laura Henshaw? Yes. And she was wearing like a halter neck. Yeah, oh my God. So much. Like that, wasn't she? I wish I could wear a holter top.

Yeah. I wish. You can wear a halter top. With these broops, they'd be out all over the place. You could wear a halter bra underneath. They do great halter neck bras now. Painful. Not easy to wear, but...

Yeah. But then where would my stomach go? I feel like they're very much for the flat stomached among us. The Kira Knightley's. They're generally modelled by very, very, very thin women. Yeah. I think I would look like a cockcake. I think you'd rock it.

Hmm. Do you follow, she's called Essie Dennis, but her name's Cal, and I score Essie. She rocks a halterneck. She does, but she's got an amazing, like, hourglass figure. Yeah, incredible. I don't have that. Yeah, you do. I mean, not like her, not like, she's very, like, defined.

Yeah, I don't have, like, I've got a smaller waist than the rest of me, but it's not like, no one would look at me and be like, that's an hourglass figure. I don't really know what kind of, I'm more like a, like a, like a. Like an athletics track. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know either actually. I don't think I ever...

Quite round? Like soft and straight. Soft and straight. I'm not like a ruler because I'm not thin, but then I'm not like an hourglass because I'm not that curvy. So I'm just like... I'm like a wobbly ruler.

Wobbly ruler. That's one of the definition. Actually, that's one of the categories. Yeah. Pair, Apple, Wobbly ruler. How to dress my wobbly ruler body. I'm sure there's tons of articles on that. I think Christmas is quite a tough time for body image, actually.

Very. We should touch on that. Very. I think you should touch on that. You're much better at talking about it. I actually wrote an article about this the other day. And how, like, it makes me so sad. Like, Christmas has always been a really bad time.

Maybe that's why I'm getting so excited about Christmas more recently is because Christmas has always been like a very anxiety-inducing time. I've never looked forward to it. I've always been desperate for it to be over. I've always been so scared about the like perceived lack of control that I'm going to have around food. Is it because somebody's cooking for you or because you're expected? Was it because it's just surrounded?

You're just like bombarded with food and everywhere you look like on Instagram it's like all these recipes for this like decadent food and you're just and indulgence is like. expected over the Christmas holidays. You're kind of weird if you don't participate in it. And it just always freaked me out. And I knew that I couldn't have the control that I would have in everyday life as well

because you go back home. You're not in your own set. You can't just be like, I'm going to make my own lunch. I'm going to make my own dinner. So I just, I've never, I don't think I've ever enjoyed Christmas because of that. I've always been like desperate to get to January the first so I can be like, now I've got back control again.

Yeah. So maybe actually that's why I'm enjoying it so much more recently because I'm not, that doesn't freak me out anymore. But I think a lot of people share that, that fear around Christmas and control. Yeah, stepping back even when it's not just about food, I think people really struggle with not having their routines in general. Yeah.

It's like, for my mental health, like I find walking really important and like my stupid little coffee in the morning and like getting out the house in the morning and like walking to have my coffee. And like I really struggle not having that routine of like that it's a bit different now I have a baby but like at my mum's

it's a very different thing and it would be weird to go up by myself and like so you kind of expected to do everything with everyone which is so nice but like I need my alone time and like I need my time to decompress and like if you don't make that time it's just really hard when you're in your routine and you're supposed to go to all these people

and like if you like if you like having early nights or if you journal or like if you have if you've built any kind of like support system for yourself to aid like good mental health and then you've got family who don't understand that or who don't make allowances for it or literally a schedule that just doesn't allow it like if you're in I don't know a house that's not big enough for you to go and meditate

somewhere or if you're expected to be up and down the motorway to see different family members or whatever like yeah you just have to sacrifice so much of your own and then you're difficult if you put your boundaries in place and then you're making Christmas difficult for everyone exactly and like getting your alone time is so is so hard isn't it when you find running really valuable, particularly at Christmas, because you can literally say to me, but I'm going for a run. If you say I'm going for a walk, they'll be like, oh, we'll all come. And it's like, don't fucking come. And if you go for a walk, a run, you can be like, see ya.

Yeah, that's a really good point, actually, because I struggle with that. Like, I like my alone time in a weird way. I like it in a weird way. But I'm from a family who doesn't do alone time. Do alone time. No, it doesn't value alone time. So I don't take it any alone time because I don't want to be perceived. just like the, you know, the difficult one or the weird one

or like, I don't know, I just want to like, I'm joining in. I would always do that. I'd always sit and read. Like, the others would go and watch TV on Christmas. Like, everyone would go and watch TV in one room and I'd just sit by myself and read in another. But were they judge you for that? I don't think I really care.

No. I actually think it's only as I started doing my life coaching. I think before, yes, I would have cared too much and I'd have sat and watched the film even though I didn't want to. Yeah. Whereas in the last couple of years, having seen Jacqueline and done my coaching and stuff, I've been like, knowing, this is what I want to do.

And I'm not ruining Christmas by sitting by myself. That's the thing no one cares. But that's what I told myself before. Yeah, same. It's family time. Like, I have to be with my family all the time. Like, it's Christmas. Like, I'm going to ruin it.

If I'm the one to leave, I ruin Christmas. So I'd do that to myself. And then even though no one actually cared. And then it was only in the last couple of years. This year, realistically, I'm not going to be able to sit and read a book because following a kid around. Yeah. But it's a whole different ballgame.

And it's like totally different. And actually you can be so much more bounded when you have a kid. Yeah, that's quite nice, actually. No, she's going for a nap. No, she's doing this. I'm doing this. We're doing this. You can just dictate what you want.

And I also have this amazing moment of peace when I put her to bed. And I feed her to sleep, which I know, I'm not going to talk about it because people will have opinions on that. But I feed her to sleep. And I just lie on the bed sometimes after she's full of sleep. And I just lie there. Is this in the daytime? No, no, it's at bedtime. No, no, it's at bedtime.

Yeah. It's like 6.30. Yeah. And I can hear everything going on downstairs. I'm just going to lie. I'm just going to watch TikToks. I'm just going to watch TikTok and I'll see you all when I'm good and ready. That sounds blissful.

It's really nice. So I like run with that happen. Yeah, I like that. That's so interesting what you're saying about routine. That actually must, because it's kind of like a little bit, it's like a very tiny version of what happened to us in like the lockdowns, isn't it? Yeah. Your life is suspended.

Normal life is like suspended a little bit around Christmas time. Yeah, it is, isn't it? I've actually never really thought about that. but I've always enjoyed going back to a routine after Christmas. I do too. I get to a point where I really look forward. And this will be my first time doing it with the kids, I don't know.

But before I was used to really look forward to going back. And actually, like, eating well and moving well and drinking more water and, like, getting into my, like, routine. Yeah, just getting your routine back. Yeah. But then I think it's quite hard to, like, balance the getting rid of that in it because I did for so many years where I'd be, like, driving back to London.

I'd be like, I'm not going to eat anything carbohydrate. do it and I'm not going to do this and I'm going to lose this much weight and I'm going to get to the gym like four times a day so like having to not let that come in yeah it's quite it's hard isn't it it's still tempting yeah 100% because you like you say I don't even think I don't even think I do indulge that much at Chris indulge in quotation marks because I

it eats so intuitively now like I eat when I'm hungry and I don't when I don't and like I seem to have a much better grasp on food than I've ever had but it's still the language that I hear that makes me think I've indulged. Even if I actually look at what I eat at Christmas versus what I eat the rest of the year, I probably eat the same thing. Yeah. But it's so weird. You feel like you're indulging because everybody says that you're indulging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, so then you feel that by virtue of that, you have to do the other side as well. It's really odd. And I wonder, I'm thinking out loud, but whether it's

like a tactic of the fitness industry and the diet industry to, to, to, to, to, I wonder, I'm thinking out loud, but whether it's, really like focus on indulgence before January the first because it like amplifies guilt. You know, it really exacerbates guilt. So you're much more likely to be like forced into some weird regime. And there's so much to December as well with like the, never even mind Christmas, but the fact that it's got darker so quickly, the fact that it's got cold. Like there's so many reasons why you wouldn't be exercising while you would be eating more anyway. So it's just such a brutal, yeah, and drinking.

And it's such a brutal time to get someone. Yeah. after a month of that, where they've had all the cultural pressure to... It's actually perfect for them. It's literally genius. It's perfect. Because it's like you've got them... Oh, it got dark, and you got cold and you got tired.

Yeah. So you're feeling vulnerable and shit about yourself. Here we go. Let's make some money. It's actually genius, isn't it? When you think about it, it makes so much sense. I know. It's mad.

Yeah. It's mad. So we're going away in January this year, which I think is going to be really interesting for me. Oh, nice. To not have the routine. Although, mind you, your fucking routine in January is going to be out of the bloody window

isn't it shit oh my god this is going to be so nuts for you I know I don't oh my god I didn't even think about it like

it's going to be weird yeah it's been like straight away I'm just hoping that the baby stays put until January the first at least

yeah yeah they will I don't really know why actually I don't even know why it feels too soon for it to arrive in December I don't know

I've been prepared for January like December feels like Yeah December would be a surprise Yeah yeah Yes Yeah yeah And all my sisters keep being like Please don't ruin Christmas day

By having the baby before I'm like I promise I'm trying That's not fair Why would it ruin Christmas If it like came on Christmas day You know And like ruined all their Christmas Why would it ruin their Christmas

Because they'd have to like mum and dad Like mum would have to come the hospital with She wouldn't have to But I would probably make her But that would be a, you'd have like a Jesus baby, that would be such a treat. That wouldn't ruin Christmas? I know, wouldn't that be fun to have a 25th of December baby? Which sisters are saying this?

I'm going to have a word. All of them. All of them? They're stressed. They're stressed about Christmas Day. Like, boxing day fine. But Christmas Day, like we've got it all planned. I'm the same.

I agree. I don't want to ruin Christmas Day with her. I guess for you. I don't want to ruin my own Christmas Day. Yeah, it would ruin your Christmas Day because you're the one that's got to go and have a baby. They're not going to ruin their Christmas Day. They just get anything. or a nephew.

That's true, that's true. They can have it at home still. They don't have to, you know. They don't have to do anything. I know what they're worried about, though. They'd have to make their own Christmas lunch if your mum came with you. Yeah, exactly. I'll fuck them, fuck them over.

Catherine will be like, oh my God. Heavy was, heavy, heavy is the head. I feel like before we go, we should touch as well on, like, how it can be difficult with family members around Christmas time. 100%. And, like, commenting on food and body and stuff. And also talking about if you're coming from split parent households as well and like...

Yeah, you can speak on that. Yeah, yeah. But all of it, the guilt, like the pressure, the guilt, all of it. Let's start with the body stuff. Yeah, I mean, it's like notorious this time of year for family, when you're around the family members and especially of the older generation, just like casually passing comment on your body, on what you eat. Like, we used to freak out about seeing our family.

and say to like our parents like will you text them and say like we know we've put on weight please don't mention it and things like this we'd freak out because it quite easily could come up and we were just terrified of it happening so I know and I know that I speak to so many people that this is a really like it can be like a really anxious time of year because of that so I mean coming back to Jack yeah what they say means everything about them and nothing about you. I did this a few years ago and I was actually going to remake it this year.

I've got it in my drafts on Instagram so I might have done it by now. But it's a judgment or a confession of character and I actually think we should run through some translations because I always think this with food. Like, it's so clear what people are trying to say when they say things to you. And I always think this like,

because people always comment on how many host potatoes I eat. Like, are you really going to eat that many? like are you really like I can't believe you've eaten that much any comment to that to that end is always it's always because the person making it has deprived themselves and they are 100% upset about that 100% like what they mean when they say are you really going to eat that is I wish I could yeah I wish I could do that I wish I had the food freedom that you do it's a total projection it's a hundred percent of projection all of it yeah and it's out their own discomfort in themselves and there's got to be something so fundamental fucking sad in your life that you would bring this up on Christmas like chill the fuck out it's Christmas like who cares who cares and how sad that they care

yeah like how sad like that they would want to spend their Christmas like I really feel like particularly in our little bubble of the internet which we love so much and our like podcast listeners and Instagram followers who are just good people trying to self-develop and do well for themselves and be happy like we know that we are prioritising

our own happiness and we're putting in our own boundaries and we are learning who we are as people and we know who we want to be and we don't want to be people that shit on other people at Christmas literally if you want to do it physically speaking you crack on we're not kinkshaming this Christmas but like mentally like if to want to hurt somebody else

to say something else with the intention of hurting somebody you know comes from a place of pain because happy people aren't doing that 100% and we know we want to be happy so we wouldn't do it so we know that anybody that isn't happy are the ones that are and you've got to remember that you wouldn't take, don't take criticism from somebody you wouldn't go to for advice.

And those comments, leave those comments with them. Yeah. Like, they own those comments. If they put them on the table, you don't have to pick them up. That's their, it's their problem. Look at it as a physical thing. When somebody says it, like, watch it fall out of their mouths and land on their plate.

Yeah. And just choose to leave it there. And they can digest that poison themselves. Yeah. Like, you don't have to eat that. Like, leave that be. You stick with your roast potatoes and let them eat their own shit, basically.

Do whatever you want. 100%. Don't let anyone talk shit to you. Yeah, and I think, like, on the other side with any expectations, whether it be like sitting with your family or going to see certain family members or behaving in a certain way around certain people, I think, like, you are an adult. It's really easy to fall back into childlike states, I think.

Yes. When you go home, you fall into the role that you, that you've always played there. Like old family dynamics. Yeah. Yeah. And I think you kind of lose a handle on who you are. Yes.

And the life that you've built for yourself. And this happened to a lot of people during COVID as well, I think. It definitely happened to me, like, where I was like a kid again because I was in my childhood bedroom and I was with my mom and I was with my brother and my sister. Yeah. But within that, I'd also become an adult. And it was really, it's a real challenge. And I think you've got to remember who you are, what you want, what you want, what

you like, and it's okay. What you need. Yeah. And sometimes you can put what you like to the back and do what other people like because that's Christmas and that's part of it. Yeah. But not at the expense of your own mental health.

And it's okay. And you're not going to ruin Christmas, but you can't, like, short of, like, ripping the tree down or, you know, like, pissing in the turkey. Yeah, yeah. Like, you're not going to ruin Christmas and anybody that's going to weaponise your boundaries to that end is a,

another nasty person, and you can leave that with them also. Again, love that. Yeah. Love that. Beautiful advice. Yeah. Just have a happy day. Prioritize yourself.

And also, if you hate Christmas... Be nice. And you hate the pressure, it'll be over soon. That's the thing. If you hate Christmas, if it makes you feel anxious or more depressed or lonely, it's going to be over soon. Yeah. It's going to be done.

And then you've got Jan. Yeah, exactly. And you'll be fine. We'll be out of it. Yeah. Yeah. And you'll have a nice calm January whilst Alex will be sitting there. don't in a state of panic

as I am right now you're going to be such a good mom I wish you weren't so worried about it I hope so I promise you okay I promise you we'll see so exciting Merry Christmas everyone

Merry Christmas We've been a bit of a longer one actually today It was nice It was nice So over the next few weeks Al's gonna be busy Yes yes I'll have my hands full

But don't worry The podcast isn't going anywhere we've got all sorts planned. We've got a lot in the bank. We have. Not money. Not much money. But a lot of episodes.

So she will be back. I have to be back. Because the bank is blind on it. Guys, Merry Christmas. I hope you're okay and you're having fun and you're happy. And if you're not, hang in there because it's not long to go. Exactly. And thank you all for so much support this year.

We love you. We love you so much. This is like the best job and we love it so much. and that's all thank you, thanks to you guys. So, agree. Lots of love. Love you. Bye.

Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.