Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: The night meal

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? the girls talk boundaries, blagging it and cover possibly the most embarrassing story to top all embarrassing stories #mayonnaise... Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know all our glamping units have a resort quality Canadian-made and eco-friendly bed? Since day one, we have proudly partnered with Colonna-based mattress company Haven, ensuring you have the best sleep possible. So it's just one more reason to visit us in the Boreal Forest. You can also try out a Haven mattress risk-free for 100 nights at havenmatress.ca. Hello. Welcome back to Should I Deloat There? What is happening? I don't know. Sorry.

Our producer, Daisy, always talks an Australian accent. Because she's partly from there. Partly from there? Is that how you say it? Partly from there and, like, grew up there and stuff. I think what you don't say about somebody who's from Australia is that they speak with an Australian accent. Like, Daisy always talks an Australian accent because that definitely makes it sound like she just puts one on for fun. I do, though. Oh. In that case, as you were, everything I thought about you is not true.

It rubs off on me. Anyway, clearly not. Hi. No, go again. Come on, let's go with Australian. Yeah, from the beginning. Yeah. Okay.

I need my trigger word. Like a March Simpson in the room. Water, bottle of water? Uh-oh. Okay. Hello? And welcome to should I delete that? We're really good the first time.

Hello? Oh, okay. Hello? And should I delete that? Yes. Delete all these footage. Am I being offensive? Yes.

Oh, 100%. I'm so sorry. We're going to be cancelled. immediately. Hello and welcome to Shuddley that. I'm sorry I'm shitter accents. I can do a scouse one very well, but that's about it. But that's because you're partly from there. Yeah, fine.

So I don't know why we're just going with partly from there. Now it's like a description from like where people are from. I like it. I'm partly from the UK. Yeah. Okay, I am going, I am going in with my, actually, okay, I'm going in my own. Is it just me? It's not really.

And is it just me? I just want to talk about it. When we were walking around New York, I was absolutely desperate for the toilet, right? Absolutely. and there were and which is weird because there's coffee shops everywhere in new york but we couldn't find one there were just loads of like cafes and pubs do you know what i mean but like proper cafes and like not pubs sorry cafes and restaurants but like proper cafes not like a starbucks where you can go in buy a drink have a toilet have a toilet have a toilet yeah have a drink

have a toilet everyone's walking out like stuck underneath this heavy porcelain object and dave was like just go in, just go in and go to the toilet. And I was like, absolutely not in a trillion years. I, there is, there is not much that I'd rather do less than like go into an establishment where I'm not buying anything and go to the, use their toilet. I concur. I will buy something I actively don't want. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. Just to use a toilet. Yeah, 100%. I would never. No, I would never. And even, even when I'm buying something, I still feel bad using the loo. I know, same. Same.

When you're buying something, you're like, do you have a toilet? Yeah. Do you have a toilet and then I'll buy something. And then they look at you and they go, that's the only reason that you're here, isn't it? Yeah, they know. It's like if you go into like a shop or whatever and you've like feigned this interest, like, God, this biscuit looks delicious. By the way, do you have a loo?

And they're like, you never really cared for the biscuit, did you? I see you. You were only in here for the loo. Yeah, it's not just you. I hate them. You're pig. Sorry, I went too far. Yeah.

You know, that was the one thing when we were kids. We weren't allowed to call each other pigs or cows. Really? Yeah. I think it's because of their size. I think my mum was very aware that she didn't want us to, like, fat shame each other. Okay. I remember, I'm looking at my sister, because I remember when we were,

I think we were, like, on a family holiday in Spain. So you remember, El Presente. And I was, we were really young, like, really young. But I was hanging out with, I'd met a friend there who was, like, older than me and, like, really cool. And so she'd, like, taught me some things. And she'd taught me to, like, you call people cats. like as an insult you call them a cow so and i remember shouting across the pool to my little sister jett and you cow and my mom was like what the fuck did you just say get out the pool right

now literally took me by my ear i don't know how young we were but i was really young i didn't even know i didn't i was just like you cow it was to be like six and four and i was like hanging out with an eight-year-old he was like yeah anyway that's hilarious I know. We thought we were so clever. I think we learned, like, the French word so we could call each other. Okay. A vash.

A vash, yeah. Yeah, I think it must have been size specific. I'm not sure. Just showing off. Okay, I've gotten, is it just me? Hi, Alex M. and Daisy, sending you lots of love from South Africa. Thank you for making my Mondays less blue and Thursday so fun. I'm going to start by saying I pride myself on being an extremely organized person.

I cannot relate. I'm usually so on top of things. She's just robbing it in. at this point. I've been so scatter. Oh, good. No, she's back. She's one of me. I've been so scatterbrained the last few weeks. I booked an online course with a life coach, entered my cell number incorrectly and totally forgot about it. You know what? I reckon Mercury is in the microwave. The other night, I got a mail from her asking if she had my details correctly, the course had started the night before. I've also sent out embarrassing emails asking for things I'd already

received and i'm now obsessed with what this life coach and other people must think of me people i've never met and probably won't because i see myself as so organized and they must think that i'm not am i the only one obsessing over what strangers think of me and tying my worth the little mistakes that i make so i think she's saying she's normally a very organized person yeah she's recently turned into me and is really worried that no one's going to like her because of it or like overthinking that yeah like overthinking the little things and what people think of her because of them i mean i think it's quite not just you know i think it's quite how when your like personal identity is quite tied up with something this is the thing and then people

one person doesn't see you like that you're like oh my god yeah how am i perceived because you know how you're perceived by like everybody yeah and then what if one person perceives differently it's like who am i this is the thing and and wait so i actually read the book atomic habits have you read that by james clear it's probably drew a lot of criticism as well but one thing it talked about was like if you really want to pursue something can make it work for you it has to become a part of your identity right and you have to feel like pride in this identity and i feel like i feel like that's what happened for me when i tried to when i made myself become organized because it's not my natural state at all but then i made it like that and then

i take because it's not my natural state like i take great pride in it so i know what this person is saying then because when people think I'm like super scatty and disorganised like my mum and dad still think I am because I that's how I grew up and I feel really like it's like affronted like I feel like it's a bit of an attack on my identity when they I completely get that and I'm like no no no I'm really organised like I'm really organised so I get what she's saying totally but then interesting that you say that yeah but then I've I've like I've noticed not recently but I noticed that I started to do that and I feel like I'm much better at now

they're being like they can think what they want it actually doesn't okay it doesn't matter like whatever and also I need to like yeah I need for that not to be my identity or something that I'm like very proud of because there are other like better things I watched a TikTok the other day and actually I might make a reel of it

because the audio is really good it was like you just have to accept or like a big part of life is accepting the different roles that you play in other people's life and in some people's life you're the villain and in some people's life you're the good person and in some people's life you're loved or funny or whatever

or organised and then in some people's life you're not and like it's quite interesting because I do think that sometimes like how am I perceived and obviously we're perceived by a lot of people so I think on Instagram I'm perceived a certain way and I'd say I probably play into that part because that's the part that I'm comfortable sharing or being. Yeah.

But as with lots of things, women in the public eye, perhaps being like a really good place to examine it from, is we're not very good at letting people be multifaceted or like multidimensional. So we see this like 2D thing. And so I think a lot of people think about me that I'm very scatty or like just awkward and embarrassing, which is 100% true. But I'm also like, I can, like, if, you're in a crisis my mom always says that she's like if something goes wrong you would be the first

person i would call like without fail like you fix stuff so quickly like other people shit you're so good at you can see things really clearly your own life is a fucking mess but like every like she always says that about like me and me and my Alex as a duo she's like honestly if something goes wrong like the two of you will just have it fixed in like an hour and it's i find that really interesting because I think to a lot of people, therefore, like in my real life, it's like you play, I don't know, and I've got no idea, I've got no idea the role that I play because I know that I know that they know that they can come to me and a lot of my friends do obviously and I love that. But then I also know that they just watch me be a fucking disaster on a daily basis and I wonder how that correlates. But then if you overthink too much like how you're perceived, it's just like, oh God, I don't know. Well, it is also, I do think, like, it's a very human thing as well to want to have perspective of how we are perceived. And also to, like, cling on to identities because that anchors us in something. Yeah.

And it's, and it's part of, like, unrelated, but kind of not, like, body dysmorphia as well. Like, we want to gain perspective on how we present ourselves to the outside world. Like, we don't know how our bodies look to other people. And that causes a lot of distress, like, cognitive distress because we're like, we can't. can't get a handle on that. And I think that's part of it as well, which is why then we cling so strongly to identities because we've, because it's human. We want to, we want to know. We want to be able to have. Yeah. I agree. When you're put into a box, is there's a safety in that? Yeah. And I think sometimes, it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes if you're

put into a space that, like if you use school as an example, when I was put in lower sets, because I struggle academically, like dyslexia and stuff. I wasn't great. Like, and I was only, and I actually think this is really interesting. I was only diagnosed with dyslexia when I was 15, which is really late. And it meant that I hadn't had. I just got extra time for my GCSEs and my A levels, but I hadn't had it for any of my exams prior. And I'd had no diagnosis or like no acknowledgement of it.

Yeah, it was like a really weird thing with identity that's just like, Because then I was put in lower sets, which is fine, and it actually probably really beneficial for me. But it is like a self-fulfilling thing in a way that when you're given, like you're told that and then you're put in like lower space or set or whatever to class to thrive really. You know, it's in your best interest. But you do kind of like lean in or like play a part. I don't know. So I think that's like a really interesting thing about being human because I just think dogs don't have labels for anything. Like we tell a dog that it's anxious but it doesn't know that it's anxious it just is itself like or aggressive or you know

any of these words and you put we put things into boxes and each other into boxes yeah but actually and it's so weird because we like that like that's how the human brain works like yeah and we we like these like binaries and boxes and we like yeah it's it's it's weird and like the more i the more i learn about psychology i guess or the more i question stuff the more i realize is that like we just hate nuance not we really struggle with it yeah we struggle with it we struggle with the gray area yeah we struggle to like to complementalize it and box it yeah categorize that's what we want to do yeah and you just like I even find it now with like a lot of films whereas it used to be like there was a very clear baddie and a goody and the goody would win yeah and the

badie was bad in every sense and the goody was good in every sense and now in films nowadays they show a more like multifaceted, complex person like, okay, he's a baddie, but he's also like you might see why he's become a baddie or like, you might see glimpses of him being like not a baddie. And that for me still feels like earth shattering. Difficult to get my head around. And then I'm like, but that's normal. People aren't always one thing.

But like in general, people have bad sides, good sides. They do bad things. They do good things. They're not like baddies and goodies. And, but that's difficult for the human brain to do. Or maybe, maybe me more than all the people. I saw a thing on TikTok the other day and it was like, um, from peeky blinders and I haven't actually seen later series, but it was like, I mean, Killian Murphy and Tom Hardy, my God.

Wow. Like, what a duo and they were both so angry and covered in blood. I was like, goodness me. The only thing that really like humbles me there is like they're five seven. They're five seven. They're both five seven. No shade, no shame. But I just remember when I sat next and I'm just like, this is my patriarchal.

problem but it kind of brings me back down to earth to be the same height of them anyway yeah so I've done it now I'm sorry anyway having this big argument in a people on the scene and Tom and and Killian's like they took my boy like I'm gonna shoot you because they took my son and Tom Hardy's like how many son and you're so upset for Killian because it's like he's had a son taken away but then Tom Hardy's like how many boys have you killed how many sons have you killed and it's like whoa whoa you're both so bad but you're both so compelling

And it's like, it's so, like, oh, confusing. It is. It's confusing. But then, yeah, I think you just really, like, have to accept. Like, I, honestly, this is why I haven't done the anonymous questions on Instagram, that feature where you can put anonymous questions. Absolutely not. Because I suspect that I am not perceived well by some people.

And I suspect that I am perceived very well by some people. Right. But I have no control of any of that. And there are some, and I just think this is so interesting because how many people do you meet in your life, thousands and thousands. And to some people, you might meet somebody in a bad day when you're in a rush in a cafe

and you didn't say thank you or you barred past someone on a lift in an elevator without noticing or like whatever. And to that person, they just think you're bad. And you're a bad person or you're a bitch or you cut them up. It's like someone cuts you up in the car.

It's like, what a fucking dick. And that's just the part you play in their life. And I think you just have to accept that you just try to be nice as often as you can but if you're a body in somebody's life but that's something as well like i feel like i try so hard to be nice like i really make it like an absolute priority yeah but i feel like i possibly i i have too much emphasis on it love me is that like the undertone yeah thank you for this class on now fucking love me i don't know like maybe and i spend too much energy on that but then that feels then like a big part of my identity so to

to then think that some people don't perceive me that way like that actually does hurt thinking about it yeah but do you know what something Jacqueline even just Jacqueline and coming on the podcast what three times now I think it's been even just from those sessions alone and also some things outside of that like me thinking more about this stuff like actually letting go or trying to let go about being at peace with what people think that you are or think about you is so wonderful and it might not be, it was definitely not the first response.

Like the first response is always an emotional response for me of like, oh God, no, no, no, this is going to really upset me, this is going to ruin my life. And then, but then if you can call on that, like, rational, higher brain and, yeah, rationalise it and realize that actually it doesn't impact your life. I don't know where I've got on this tangent. Sorry, but it's so liberating and it's so powerful.

But it also makes, like, I think something that a lot of people struggle with is, like, nice women having boundaries. Like, I think because a lot of, like, what I do online, like, I'm very, in terms of, like, feel good Friday and everything I do and want to share is positive. And I really want that to be, I want my space online to be a positive space. And I want to bring other people up. But it doesn't mean that, like, I am all the time a positive person because, and a very, and a very, nice person because very nice people get walked over if they're not careful and very nice people have to sit and take they don't but very nice people in order to just very nice women particularly in order to stay being very nice and perceived as very nice have to be have to take being treated like

treated like absolute shit with a smile yeah because you can't stand up for yourself because then you're something else and that I find very interesting and that I have to really like balance And I just have to know that on balance, I hope that I'm a good person doing good things. But also I have to be able to communicate my boundaries. But I think that's another like massive societal thing where if you're put in this box of being nice or you're put in the box of being a bitch or whatever. But people, the other thing is I think, I don't know about you. I want to like most people. I assume that most people are intrinsically good.

And that you will share a laugh or share a nice thing. with most people that you meet. And I generally want to believe the best in people. So if you read something bad about somebody or hear something bad about somebody, whereas I used to think they're a bad person because I've heard this bad thing. I now think, okay, I need more.

That's not enough to get a full picture of a person because you could just see one bit of a person that's like not a very nice part of them. Because that's the other thing, we don't accept that part of like the experience of like having friends and being human is that we're not all perfect like some of us, some bits of us

are bad or annoying or frustrating and you just have to work out if you're going to take the full package or leave it because you don't get to just take bits from people. This reminds me up and I know I'm going to sound like a wanker for like even saying this but this reminds me of like in my old job

like interviewing celebrities and meeting celebrities like the talk would always be around like what are they like what they like and like they would always be gossip if like they were bad you know like they weren't very nice and then in later years like and I was so part of that as well totally part of the whole gossip and being like oh my gosh she was so rude to me like and then in later years realizing like you are seeing like a snippet of this person's entire personality and it's also on a day that possibly is very uncomfortable for them yeah they're in the spotlight and like I know people say oh that they asked for it like they wanted this like

for a lot of people they're doing press junkets or they're doing press interviews and they can't trust journalists and they can't trust journalists and also that they might just be having like something bad might be happening in their personal life but then they have to try and put on this smile and like bring something and you and you can't like you just can't yeah you can't judge someone based off that but and anybody that does yeah for a long time I did but that's a really good part of like all you can do as an individual is except that that's not how you you are going to perceive people, you're going to accept that humans are complex

and you'll accept them for being more than one thing. And you just have to hope that the people in your life choose to do the same. But if they don't, that's out of your control. So if this life coach, by the way, the fact that she's a life coach implies that she will be very good at accepting that this is a part of your complex human makeup

and she won't give a shit that you are unorganized. Yeah. If people can't forgive you a bad day or get over the fact that you've got this one trait that you don't think is great, Maybe she's the, maybe this life coach is the most unorganized, fucking, maybe she's me. And then when she finds like, you're really organized, she'll be like, traitor. Yeah.

I thought you were, I thought you were my kind. Or most likely, she won't give a shit either way. And bear this in mind with anything like this, this goes like for absolutely anything, that you, when you obsess over what people think of this or that, whether it's how your body looks or how you, how people are perceiving you, I always think in my head, spotlight phenomenon where like you are overestimating. how much people are rating you, thinking about you, even considering this. Like, if anything, it is literally a passing thought in their head and then never think about it again and just kind of liberating and kind of very depressing. It's quite depressing, but like just keep that. I always, I always think that when I'm like, oh God, I wonder if they, you know,

and I just think, yeah, just it's. I think a massive part of it just comes of making peace with you, with yourself and just let people perceive you and just like keep working on that. And a big part of that for me is perceiving other people and just looking and really paying attention to how I perceive people because then it gives you a lot more freedom to be perceived without leading with your emotions or your ego, basically. Sorry, that was a long answer, guys.

Yeah, shit. Did you know all our glamping units have a resort, quality, Canadian-made and eco-friendly bed? Since day one, we have proudly partnered with Colonna-based mattresses. company Haven, ensuring you have the best sleep possible. So it's just one more reason to visit us in the Boreal Forest. You can also try out a Haven Mattress, risk-free, for 100 nights at Havenmatress.ca. Okay, I've got an embarrassing story. Hi, gang. Obviously, in Capitals, thank you so much.

I absolutely love the podcast and all of you. It's quickly become part of my weekly routine and the sole reason I head out for a wind-down walk after work to listen and feel like I'm lolling with my pals. That's so nice. I just wanted to share something from my day with you as I lay reflecting in bed. I would say this is one of those embarrassing, awkward human moments, but I genuinely don't think other humans behave like this. So, is it just me? Today I had a knock at the front door.

I was not expecting anyone. The dog goes mental, so I'm trying to shush her whilst listening to what this man in overalls is saying, all I catch is, I'm here to blank your blank. instead of saying what was that I invite him in he asks if it's okay to park there I say yep without really taking in what he was saying because my mind is now running a million miles per hour

trying to figure out what I'm doing is I'm in way too deep just to reiterate I'm not expecting anyone today tomorrow this month or this week or month he asks where it is and for some reason I panic and need him to my bathroom where he proceeds to touch my wet bathroom floor and say I can't fit

that here looking at me confused i finally pluck up the courage and say oh sorry what did you say you were here to do to which he says he's laying the vinyl floor i then panic again and make up some lie about expecting someone else to come out today to look at the bathroom he asks if it's to fix the leak i say yes all of this was lies i then lead him back out of my house i then lead him back out of my house he then asks where the correct correct addresses and i panic again pointing him in this wrong direction. Oh my God. So he wasn't even there for her house.

Safe to say, I will never get final flooring for fear of seeing this man again. I have also put my house on the market and booked a one-way ticket to anywhere else. What the fucking fuck. Is anyone else this awkward, kill me. Oh my God, that's absolutely hilarious.

Yeah, come in. Pleasure. Are you taking to the bathroom? Take him anywhere else. Both of them's so intimate. They're so small. And also if it's wet as well, you've just had a shower,

right, as a mirror all steamed up. It's intimate. He's like, I'm going to put it in here. So good. I have something else embarrassing. This is absolutely foul in a fun way. Ready for it. Hi, girls.

Ovs love the pod. I keep hearing people's embarrassing stories and feel like they have nothing on mine. So I thought I'd share. Three, maybe four chilies, embarrassing. Oh. I've been with my boyfriend for seven years. About three years in, we went away for the night meal. The night meal?

We went away for the night meal. The night meal. etc. The night meal. What is a night meal, et cetera? I'm going to say, I'm going to say she meant dinner. That is the night meal famously. Out of that or a midnight snack. Anyway, before we, no, that's not a meal. That's a snack. Dinner. Okay. Before we went out, gross warning. This is gross. We've taken a turn. Okay. Apply that handbrake. Before we went out, gross warning, he finished on my face. I was three years into a relationship just before the night. meal and he is finishing for a nightmare i mean guys unbelievable uh he finished on my face and for some

reason i don't know why i didn't just look in the mirror i took a picture of it on his phone during dinner he accidentally sent that picture as in facebook messenger when you just click on the pick and it sends with no warning to our group chat with his parents and his sister i died and And obviously cried my tits off. I've actually never heard that expression, but I love it. It was unable to be deleted and took a good few months for me to face them again. I begged his sister not to look and his dad sent back a picture. She said the dad was drunk.

Sent back a picture with mayonnaise all over his face and said not to worry. It never gets mentioned apart from by my friend at every available opportunity. We're getting married next year. the thought of it getting brought up in the wedding speech kills me. But there we go. P.S., I would love to have sent this as a voice note, but I'm a primary school teacher, so it might be a bit of a risk.

I think, out of all the stories, I think she's right. I think that's the worst. That's the spiciest. That's something about Mary times by a million. Because it's not just Ben Stiller. It's the Mayo. It's the Mayo.

It's the Mayo. It's the Mayo. It's, don't acknowledge. your sons jizz on his girlfriend's face daughter-in-law now in some cultures she'd be calling them mum and dad

and he's mayo-faced her I just don't I couldn't live I couldn't I wouldn't continue to live wow I just don't understand and I really don't understand this why you'd want someone

to jizz on your face just before your night meal like and take a picture of it when you know but no but it's like if you're going out like okay i'm not being funny but like sorry to my mom if she's listening but like if you're planning to like you know have some fun before your night meal or whatever meal before you go out in public i'm never calling dinner dinner again by the way um if you're planning on having like that sort of fun i really feel like there's a sort of fun you can have before you go out and it probably includes like not getting messy you're probably not even taking all your clothes off

because it's just a fath to have to get, you don't want to like scuff up your hair or like ruin your makeup or like ruin your outfit. You probably just want to be like quick so you can go. Do you know what I mean? I always think that in films

when they have sex in an elevator and they take off all of their clothes. I'm like, this is completely, completely idiotic because you've got 30 to 40 seconds tops. So you might be able to do, what's it called? Cognoletic. So you might have time for your canolitis. Canolingus. But you don't have time to like do up all the buttons on your jeans again. Do you know what I mean? And all the buttons on your shirt. It's completely ridiculous. Anyway. But that's the same school of thought. Why would you want jizz on your face just before your nightmare? I just don't get it. You wouldn't. Your eyes are still stinging. Your mascara would run. Your hair would presumably be ruined. Look, this is the Loxetan event again when I just looked like a ghost at the dinner because I had all the oil from the facial.

in my hair. So what does she just take Spunk hair out for dinner? It's a lot to eat after that, really, isn't it? It is a lot to then develop an appetite. Yeah. Yeah. It's not for me. It's not for me.

You win. I wouldn't want to be, I just, like, the face is just, it's an absolute no from me. I don't think it's something I've ever considered. And I tell you what, I always think this. I'd flinch. And I just think that would be a horrible vision. of me to be like oh like do you know what i mean like that's the last thing you want is like

jizz splatters your face like i'd say in the porn this they're like oh yeah like jizz face but in reality be like oh i don't go in my eyes and like you get like those chins and you'd be like like oh i don't want jizz in my eyes you know and they'd be like uh if you love it then get it i just don't think i understand it yeah yeah no shame for that if there's something that you're into yeah you go you go but the fact that his whole family has seen it i i i actually don't know what to say to you i don't think there's like any i mean words of sympathy i guess yes like all my love deepest sympathies good luck in your wedding yeah i pray for you i don't think you need to wear white i i think you i don't think you're

kidding anyone at this point no it's not that bad um i don't think it's that bad that's what we should say i we should just tell them that it's not that bad you shouldn't you shouldn't have older that it was the most embarrassing because that's going to make her feel worse. So let's completely change that and let's just be like, come on guys, let's just say it's not bad. She did say it was, she said like she can shit on everyone else with this one. No, we're going to make her feel better. She's got a wedding coming up. Do you know what? It's absolutely fine. I bet that's happened to everywhere.

Yeah, that's so common. It happens to me before most nightmares. It's so common. It's really fine. I wouldn't worry about it. I hear a lot. Yeah. Yeah, it's same. Same. I've seen it on like Reddit. Honestly, you're fine. Yeah, so I think Channel 4 are doing something about it. So it's fine. Okay, so one last thing. Hey ladies as always love the party You're all brilliant

I hope the praise is up to standards I'd give it a seven No I loved it Okay I just feel like the more is merrier No no I don't want to gild the lily I thought you were saying You don't want to guilt the lady

And it just took me a second there To be like that's not what she said I don't know what gilding is Making it gold Making something gold Yeah We don't just do that So and is it just me

Is it just me that feels like a criminal If I go into a shop alone and don't buy anything. Went shopping today trying to find a wedding gift. Every time I went into a shop and couldn't find anything, I thought they would think I was a shoplifter

walking out without buying anything. Honestly felt like I needed to hold my hands up and show my bag on leaving. Instead, I just put my head down and rush out, which in hindsight probably makes me look more like I robbed them.

So is it just me or does anyone else feel like they have to shout their innocence? Yes. It is not just you. It is not just you. It's a lifestyle of mine. I always feel like I'm robbing.

I feel like I'm robbing. Even before I've walked in, I'm like, oh my God, they think they're sizing me up. They're looking at my, they're looking at me thinking what I can fit my pockets. We went into a Prada store in New York, not to buy anything, obviously, because that's ridiculous and it costs a lot. I mean, I know I got my jacket, but it was second-hand and a lot less expensive than it would have been to buy it outright. But I just wanted to look because of the pretty clothes, you know. I love going in Prada stores. They have the stupidest little things.

Don't know. Like little bags to go on your boots. and bucket hats that would fit children Don't get those bags on the boots I do it and sell I want them so badly I want them so badly and I don't know why I want them

because what the fuck do you put in there aside from poo bags but then you can't put poo bags in your Prada boot bags It just doesn't make any sense It's too See I presumably drugs But that's a very good height

For a sniffer dog to find them Put a bit cash in there But no one uses cash anymore I do that No and also Put your credit card in there So you go to pay for something which if you're wearing Prada boots

you're probably paying something expensive so you need to like bend over and like pull out like a fiddly from your shoe embarrassing. Have you not got a Prada purse? Pull yourself together. I don't get the bag and boots. But I still want them so badly.

Just the whole boots. I just got they're trendy. The thing is like you know when bags look sad when they got nothing in them you'd have to keep them stuffed so they look right. Do you know what I'm saying? You don't probably have to keep the tissue paper in them

so you're walking around with that. stuffed bags on your feet. I don't get it. Drugs, you could start dealing drugs and no one would suspect you in Prada boots because if the police profile, which they don't, but they do. They probably won't suspect me

in my Prada boots with my bags because if I can afford Prada boot, if I can afford something so pointless, or maybe they'd think she's definitely selling drugs, how else would she afford something so pointless? But I've never gone into a Prada shop but I have been into the Selfridges bit

of the Prada stuff. Yeah. And I derive great pleasure. It's so fun to look at. And they've got the tiny little glittery handbags. Yeah, I love that glittery. I love Prada stuff so much. Yeah. But to humble myself immediately, I just put the bucket hat on.

Every time I think I can own the cool glittery bag, I think Sophie Milner has it, I think I bring up every week. But every time I think, like every time I think something cool, I think I have to put the bucket hat on and look at myself in the mirror and go, remember who you are in. You're a fucking dork. You don't, you can't have nice. nice things anyway carry on they oh my god because I was just like let's just go in and have a look and we had to like knock on the door they had to open it for us and I was like okay

already this is too much pressure because like I feel like you've had to go the extra step of unlocking and opening the door you have to spend money to make it worth his time exactly yeah completely and he followed us around the entire store and Dave was so uncomfortable and he's following his around he's following us around and I was like well yeah it's sounds he sounds hella guilty there that kind of panicking is not what the security guards want to hear yeah and like i saying to him that's why they're following you do likely just because in case we buy anything he would like the commission from the purchase and that's why he's following us keeping tabs on us or he could have thought we were shoplifting not sure probably

yeah if davis walking along shiftily going he's following us he's following us then this guy's going to be like i need to keep following them because what are they going to do if i stop following them because he clearly cares that i'm following them him following me and me thinking it's because he wants and then I was thinking it's because he wants the commission from I've worked I've worked in retail a lot I know that this is this is how we do it but like that knowing that then made me think oh god and now he could be missing out commission because he's following us around he's like neglecting another customer that might have come in that might have bought something and given him commission so not if he didn't let them in we're getting out we're running out

I'm done I can't do this I can't I can't take all this thinking guilt guilt guilting myself I don't like it when you go into like just a cat like a like a trinket shop yeah like there's a trinket shop near where I live and I always think all that looks nice and it's a kind of place that sell like matches in a glass bottle and I think cool but then you never buy anything for yourself in there it's always a gift and probably for someone that you don't know that well or like that much so you go in there and you realize quickly that there's nothing but you have to do the sweep you have to do the sweep and then it's just like oh god this is just wasting everyone's time then normally because it's a small shop they go hi you go hi

can I help no I'm okay thanks I'm just looking yeah 100% I'm like right well I'm gonna I normally just buy a face mask oh that's a good shout yeah yeah there always on the counter yeah yeah nice no yeah yeah

I rotate with sisters yeah it's not yeah it's hard isn't it I yeah online shopping I never commit to a purchase but in real life I have to because I get such guilt I don't care for the chains like if I go into like Zara but like if you go into like Zara but like if you go into like Like a boutique.

Yeah. So embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. I hate that. And also then you feel bad because I'm like, oh God, and you're not got any other customers in. And now I'm leaving. Probably had a glimmer of hope by me coming in.

Yeah. Now you're disappointed. Yeah. And then everyone keeps talking. Jeremy Vine says that the high street is dying at least once a week. And I just get guilt. I just hear Jeremy Vine in my ear going, the high street dying. And I'm like, oh, sorry, Jeremy.

It's me. I've killed it. So yeah. Not just you. Not just you. Anyway. Anyway. Thanks for listening.

Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being here today. I'm conducting a funeral. We love you all very much. You wouldn't say that at a funeral? I'll tell you what you would say at a funeral. We've got a donation plate at the back of the church if anyone can spare anything on the way out.

I am finiegel. Okay. I enjoyed it. Thanks everyone for listening. We will see you on Monday. Love you later. Bye. Thank you so much for listening.

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