Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: The plight of the plumber

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

In this week's IIJM, the girls discuss some constructive feedback, making friends as an adult and plumbing. Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy Grant and edited by Hattie MoirMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've got something to just kickstarters with. Hello. Hello. Welcome back to, is it just me? You're so welcome. I have. I'm too excited. I'm too excited.

I'm too excited. Hit me. Hit me. You think we've had an email. Okay. Some fan mail. Okay. I'm scared.

You should be. How could I possibly get your garbage off of my radio, bang, bang. That says. email upset should i delete this dot com what let me see bang bang that says email upset should i delete this dot com in so many ways talking speakers off turn your phone off change channels this is an actual email yes how can i possibly get your garbage off of my radio bang bang that says email upset should i'm very confused i don't think i'm really confused i don't think she likes us it doesn't sound positive I'm picking up on some vibes.

Oh my gosh, should we email back? No. Because we just don't want to know. Should we pretend it's a mistake? The best thing is, is Google offers us the chance to reply, and it's got some templates on the bottom of what we could reply. We could reply, going, yes, you can do that. Yes, please do.

Or, I don't think so. How can I possibly get your garbage off of my radio bang bang? That says email, should I delete this. Dot com. Oh, my God, maybe she's just... We can make this to a little catchy song. bang bang should I delete this dot com oh my god that's so good

she's named it wrong so we'll have to change it again also should we don't have that URL so yeah now it's really good to hear from our fans okay well that's interesting would love any clarification but only if it's positive clarification only if it's a mistake hopefully she's found a way of getting this garbage off of her radio by now she could just unfollow the podcast though right

I don't think it's not like we're on the radio steps you can take to not have to listen to this like so many short of going death You can turn it off. Turn it off. You can be the obvious one. Yeah, I mean, that seems like there's a couple of lines. If you look at your screen currently, there's a couple of lines in the middle at the bottom,

like two straight lines next to them. If you press that, you're good. Silence. I have, and is it just me? Hit me. Bit of a serious one. Oh, good. Gear change.

Hi, guys, love the pod, obviously. Longtime listener, first time writer, cringe. Don't cringe. No, we love a writer. We love almost all the people that write to it. Apart from bang bang, should I do this dot com? By having, is it just me? We need to get Alex to make that into a jingle.

I'll ask me when we get home. Is it just me who feels like they're weird for not having a big group of friends? I felt a bit like this for a long time, but this weekend my husband went away without me for the first time in our 17-year relationship and it just really made me face my loneliness in a way I'd never expected.

We've been together since we were teenagers and we are literally best friends, which is great, but I do feel like it's resulted in us sort of isolating ourselves and losing friends because we've always had each other and love doing things together as we have a lot in common. I have a best friend and we often double date because our husbands are besties too. The few other friends I still have live on the other side of the country now. I'm not the most social person and I love nothing more than a night in. I always say I'm fine with this but this weekend, Easterbank holiday, I just found myself really sad not having my

husband here and seeing everyone do fun things on Instagram while I was sat in the house alone with my cat and bento box for one tragic so is it just me who was in their 30s and feeling a bit like a sad loser with no friends and not knowing what to do about it thanks for sharing the funniest most embarrassing bits of your lives with us every week it definitely makes me feel like less of a weirdo dot dot dot in the best way what a legacy um i don't think it's just you by any stretch and it's also definitely not too late oh my god no if you want to have a friendship group yeah I don't have a friendship group in the traditional sense. I didn't keep a group of friends.

I look sometimes, I've got a couple of like sections in my life where like I'm on the peripheries of friend groups and it's like my school friends who I don't really see them anymore but they're still a group and I'm still friends with them but I just didn't stick with the group and for the same reason I think as a listener because I have been with Alex since I was 18

and so I moved to Ireland and then I came back to London and we just were moving at very different paces my friends went to uni, I didn't go they partied a little bit harder than I could be bothered with when I was working because they were at uni so it's like I was worked like

so for various reasons and I do still see them for like weddings now and birthdays but like I'm not in the group by any stretch and then there's a group of like of Irish friends that we have that I'm not in the group but not by any stretch, not Irish obviously

but, you know, we hang out with them occasionally, but they're all the big group and they do a lot together and then I've got, yeah, and then I've got my, one of my best friends, Tom and he's got his friend group that I'm friends with a lot of people in but again, they're a big group, they all go to the same weddings, they all do the same stuff together, I'm not in the, so I'm a, I'm a little

leap, like I'm not in any of these groups and I have realised that I definitely felt it like 10, about 10 years ago, maybe a bit less, but in my early 20s, I really felt that kind of loneliness that you're describing where I realised that like everybody was in a big group

and we weren't like oh the whole gang's here like no one would ever describe us as big like part of the gang so I have made it my mission over the last like few years like I bring my friends together now like all the time

like I wouldn't ever describe my friends as a group because probably away from us occasionally they hang out with each other but not like all the time but we bring everyone together a lot and I kind of force my friends to be friends with each other But I think it's really

That's a really nice way of making friends As you get older And you can say to your friends Something that I didn't know But I've done this since becoming a mum It's saying to my friends I don't really have any friends in this space And I need to make some

Like can you introduce me to your friends And like that's a nice thing to do Like if you're feeling lonely And you say you do You've got your best friend And you've got friends Like I don't think it's a bad thing To vocalise it

And be like look I don't have Loads of friends right now I'm feeling a bit lonely Can you take me with you to do stuff Could you introduce me to new people Like you are so not on your own feeling like that. Yeah.

I'm exactly the same as you. Well, I have a group of school friends, but they were all up north now. A couple stayed up north and the others have moved up north. So there's just... And initially I was like, it's fine, we'll make it work. But ultimately, it's just really hard.

Like, you're separated by, like, a lot of geographical distance. Well, one of my best friends lives in New York and then one lives... She does live fairly near me, but like where it's, I don't know, it's probably like an hour to get to her. So it's actually not that much, but she's got two kids and it becomes a lot. Like it, you know. Yeah.

And I am the same as this girl. I always feel jealous when I see, like, friends all, like, getting together in their groups and doing, like, big dinners together and stuff. Because I'm just like, like, I can do that. But I have to travel up north and stay overnight and, you know, drive four hours there, four hours back or something. I don't know. I'm always jealous of that like group. And I think it's so easy on, me too.

But to see on Instagram as well, it's just like because it's so, it doesn't take into consideration so much stuff and you do see like a tiny snapshot and you don't see the social anxiety, you don't see the like, there's so much you don't see. But you look

at it and I'm exactly the same. Like wedding weekend just gone like all my friends for a wedding and I was like, I don't even know the bride and groom but they all are having so much fun, why aren't I there? And I'm like, because I don't know the bride and groom, fair enough. I wish I had, like, friends in my area, you know, like a group of us that live around the corner. This is the, I don't know. At my street party that I obviously talked a lot about a couple of weeks ago, I did meet a neighbour, and she said,

because weirdly we were talking about, like, she was a bit drunk, she was really nice. But she was like, do you have any friends of babies? And I was like, no, not really. Like, I've got a couple, but, like, you know, dotted around and it's a bit difficult and whatever. And she was like, honestly, some of them. my best friends I've made in my late 30s and early 40s. And she's like, you've just got no idea what's coming. You don't know who's around the corner.

That's true. And that was such a relief for me, not because my current friends aren't enough, but like, just to know that, like, I would still meet more people that I'd love. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. But, yeah, I know, like, maybe we should start a friendship group. I was just about saying, should we, like, make a group?

Yeah, okay, we're in the group. We're put Georgie in the group. Yeah. Love Sarah. Well, okay, let's just put all my friends in. Let's just make it a group. And put your sisters in it. My friends are all too babyed.

You know, it's difficult. And I've got a few kids, so it's a bit more difficult. But I've got my sister. Yeah, which one? Catherine. Yeah, we put Catherine in the group. Yeah, we can put Catherine in the group. Yeah, fine.

Unlucky other sisters, but you don't listen, so you're not invited. Yeah, they don't really like to leave the house. No, fine. Yeah, we'll put Catherine in the group. Daisy, do you want to join the group? Yeah, nice. Other Daisy. Yeah, both the daisies and came.

Fine, let's all go out for dinner as a group. But, okay, yeah, but as a serious thing for the listener, you're like you're so not on your own with jealousy we've talked about making friends as an adult before but I think you know that you do have your friends I think just say to them or to your boyfriend I was a partner

I can't remember say I want to meet your friend's wives or girlfriends or whatever like could we do a big group thing and I think just even saying it out loud is not a bad thing like my Alex is a conversation we've heard to have a lot like I use it like I picked up Alex from his life and moved him to another country

so where I have like friends from all over London's actually pretty small like I bump into people that I like went to school with or whatever like quite a lot he doesn't get that in London because he doesn't even he's not even from here and it's really like important to talk about it sometimes

that he doesn't have his group here because he doesn't have any ties to here like he moved here on his own and he's made friends with my friends but he doesn't have a big group because he you know all his school friends are still in their group and we see them when we go back to Dublin but that's increasingly infrequently

unfortunately it must be hard actually it is hard like so a bit that's something that's like we made an effort and we do make an effort to make him friends here because yeah he doesn't have the natural ties that we have yeah like or that you have in a way you live in a place that you've grown up in yeah and it's quite often men to talk about that stuff as well yeah really yeah really tough because it's not like a like it's so obvious when I look at him I'm just like he's you know he's got lovely friends and he's got his friends of my friends and whatever but like sometimes I'm like oh you're actually really far away from your bodies yeah I know. I've got to feel sorry for him. Me too. Yeah, I mean, that's when we got boo.

Like, we got boo. Like, we got boo. Like, we're bad. He's fine. Don't worry too much. Yeah. But yeah, it is hard when you, yeah, when you live far away. Oh, you just don't have that network that you feel like other people have. Like, this girl's seeing people on Instagram and stuff and it's making her feel. But yeah, you just don't know the context of all that. And also, it's just, it's never too late. And we have talked about this before, like, different ways to meet friends and create a friendship group. I think if we put a poll out on Instagram saying do you ever feel feelings of loneliness? A hundred

percent of people would say yes. Yeah. Like a hundred percent. Even people in these groups because then you've got all the things they would be thinking about like oh maybe this person's talking about me or like did someone not reply to me in the WhatsApp group or maybe everyone is thinking this or like whatever it is. Or other people like you should know more in the group than I

like me. They only invite me because it's a habit now like do they actually want me here? You know all of these thoughts plagued us even when we're in groups and that's what I meant before about. like not seeing the social anxiety. Like there's so much of that that we just do not even consider. I think that element of Instagram

is even more toxic than like the filters and weight loss shit. Yeah. I think like seeing our real friends and our real, like that's the, that's the bit that can really sting.

Like that hurts me more than seeing, I don't know, some like unobtainable body type or whatever. Yeah, it makes me feel really lonely. Yeah. Not like isolated, I think is the word. And yeah, and everyone's like out at the pub on these.

And I'm like, I haven't gone to the pub with a group of people for so long. Same. Like, I'll go with like another couple. I'll go for like a birthday party. Yeah, but it's like, I want to go. I want to go. I also want to say to me like on Saturday morning, like, should we go the pub? Should we all go the pub this today? Yeah, I'd love that. Okay, I hope this has inspired anybody listening that feels like they haven't got a group to go to the pub with.

You rustle them up. Tell everyone to bring a friend. Why do you tell everyone to bring a friend? It's like they're single parties. Everybody should just bring a friend. But even for someone that we should do this. But also for everybody listening, if you do it, if you do it, and you say I'm going to bring a friend and everybody just bring a friend who maybe doesn't know

and then introduce and everyone can just get to meeting. Also, I'm planning a hags event. This is early, early information. I'm planning a really fun hags event, which I'm actually going to encourage people to come to on their own with the hope that everyone's going to make friends. And don't kill me that it's going to be in London. I've just had a baby and I live here. So I am going to try and make them elsewhere.

But for right now, I think it's going to be in London. Okay, I'm excited. Yeah, me too. I'll tell you that at the pub. See, but you just said like bring a friend. and I was like, I don't know who I could bring. Me. But then, like, everyone's so tight.

Like, all my friends feel so tied down. I don't know. This is like, in a way that people didn't feel tied down in our 20s. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. People feel really tied down now. No, it's tough. I don't know.

This is, like, opened some stuff up for me. I will always go to the pub with you. Okay. Well, then ask me. I love the pub. I love the pub. Like, yeah. Honestly, the sun's shining.

Get me a fucking rosy. I love the pub. Get me a rose. Right now. Right now I won't. A little Afroll Spritz. Wharf. Stunning.

I know what we're doing afterwards. I have a bit of information for you. Practical, useful information that I'm hoping might help cure a phobia. Is it the post? Yes. Okay. I am due to my smear test results any minute and I really hope I'm going to be able to open the envelope. That made me laugh.

Someone said in your comments, you did this whole video. It was a brilliant video about getting a smear test and being really brave and going on. And someone put in the comments like, yeah, but are you actually going to be able to open the post? and get your results. Nope. This is such a good intro. Listen. Hi Alex M. Daisy, Arlo, Bewer and Betty.

How cute is that? Thank you. I love that podcast. I listen to your episodes whilst walking or running, which can sometimes make it challenging, as you guys often make me wheeze in capitals with laughter. I just wanted to pop some info across to you guys, which concerns M's fear of the post office. As mentioned in your bank holiday Monday app,

when M was going to face her fears and go to get the new. you driving nice to form, did you do it? I have something to tell you. You didn't do it. I have something to tell you. You didn't do it. You heard to stop a comfortable as well. No, no, no, no, no.

It's been done. Okay. By our legs. Listen. Okay. So I said I was going to go to the post office and post the Ugg Boots back. Yeah. Then somebody DM me and said she wanted to buy the UG Boots off me.

And I was like, I can't, I don't want you to do that. I'll post, they're with her daughter, her 12 year old daughter. And they've been trying to get them for ages. And I was like, I know what it's like being 12. It's fucking wrong. off. You want something that all the cool kids have and your mom can't get it for you and then you just hate your mom. I felt sorry for the person because it's not your fault that your daughter hates you because they haven't made enough oggs. I'll post them to you. It's fine. But then I was like, fuck, I have to go to the post office now because I'm going to post them to this woman. I was going to break her daughter's heart.

Anyway, yesterday and I promise you on my life yesterday, having set for literally 15 minutes, I packed up the box. I bought special parcel tape. I packaged at the box. I wrote the name on the envelope. I was ready to go and I put my hat on and Alex came out and he looked to me and he went you're really tired and I was like I am really tired and he's like let me go to the post office for you and I was like no babe because everybody's going to know

there that I didn't go and he was like you're exhausted you need this and I was like okay thanks I have to go back to post the DVLA driving licensing which is currently sitting on my kitchen counter I mean look given that you'd have 15 minutes sleep and you were

exhausted I'd say I let you off on that one but the post office did get visited just not by me. So that's all that matters there. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah. Okay, so now I know that my advice here doesn't cover all eventualities, needing to actually get forms notwithstanding. However, I recently discovered the Royal Mail app. What? Okay, the app allows you to send and collect parcels from your doorstep. Mr. or Mrs. Postman woman will actually come to collect items you need to send and you can usually choose for them to bring the label with them. What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

Honestly, it has been a game changer for me, so I just wanted to pass on the info. The app can be found on the app store here. Oh my God. Because, you know, the biggest thing for me, I think I'd go to the poster was way more if you're allowed to take dogs in. Because I'm always out with boo-up, but you can't take the dog in. And I am not one of those people that leaves their dog tied up outside the post office. So then that's most of the reason why I never go. It's one of the reasons why I don't go in.

It's a good point, actually. Yeah, it is a good point. Yeah. Thank you. I can't take my dog anywhere, so that's not the problem for me. But I get why that would be a problem. Happy posting without the post office. P.S.

still waiting for you guys to eat lemons on the podcast for our audio pleasure okay okay okay okay I promise sorry yeah we're gonna do that next week I actually I've nearly you know I bought I picked up a lemon this morning and I was gonna bring it in and then I forgot because I'm just live live live we'll do it live shall we let's do it live oh my gosh shall it okay well go to the live show which will be in is it just me episode so awkward though it'll be horribly awkward it's gonna be so awkward it's gonna be horrible I'm dreading it can't wait okay we need a kind of like cringometer everybody leaves If it's a threshold, right, people put the hands up, there's too much cranes.

If it's just too much, everyone just has to go. To see yourselves out. We can't encourage that. We need everyone. We can go. Oh, I would absolutely die. Imagine everyone just got up and left. Fuck.

Okay, I have an embarrassing story to see us out. Hit me. Hi, I'm, Alex, Baby Arlo and the team. Love the podcast. You guys are hilarious and so real with everything it's keeping me sane. I've got a great poo story for you because you know, I know you love those. About a week into dating, my now hubby took me out for a super fancy meal and he went back And we went back to his for the first time.

His apartment was newly done up and it was the cleanest and tidiest land and flat I had ever seen. This does not bode well. No, it really doesn't. In the morning, he was leaving for work. She skits all the good bits. In the morning, he was leaving for work.

And I said, I'm 10 minns behind you, feeling a massive poo coming and knowing I wouldn't make the journey home. As soon as he left, I went to his bathroom and did the deed. I'm not going to lie, it was a biggie. after my horror it didn't flush and every time I tried

it just added more water to the situation I frantically looked in the cupboards and tried whatever I could find in the bathroom to help including a plunger but apparently I don't know how to use those and nothing was working

I googled solutions on my phone and found a blog that said pouring boiling water into the loo will help break it up I should probably mention how he had two housemates and you might be thinking and why don't you blame it on one of those

but it's basically in his own suite so it was too obvious. By this point, I'd been in the bathroom for half an hour and heard one of them leave, so hedging my bets, I went to the kitchen, only to find the other housemaer who I'd never met, sitting down to breakfast. Absolutely dying on the inside,

I casually pretended I was going to make a cup of tea and sat down with him drinking it, making small talk, until he left for work. When he finally left, I could try the boiling water. It didn't work. And neither did using a black plastic bag to poo pick it out. Honestly, I tried everything. Stop it.

A last resort, I found. an emergency plumber online and called him. He arrived to a very panicked and sweaty me and started sorting it, what a hero. He came out after 30 minutes and to my horror said, I don't know what you've done, but I'm going to need to go and get my big machine

from the van. I don't know what you've done. How big was this beer? She did say she wasn't going to lie, it was a biggie. I goughed. with embarrassment, and he said, only joking, I fixed it. That would be 270 pounds. Are you kidding me?

Oh, no. Honestly, I happily handed over my credit card details, even though the bill was insane. But the relief outweighed the outrage on that one. You're all the best. Thanks for the laugh. Also, that plumbull legend. I don't know what you've done in there,

but I've got to have to get my big machine. I did think big machine wasn't a very technical term. I was about it. I just imagine him coming in with a chain store and just like taking the toilet off. Get an axe. Oh my. She's now married to this man. Does he know?

Follow our question. Does he now know? £270. But it's more the fact that she said I'm 10 minutes behind you. Waited for both the housemates to leave. Use the plumber, a kettle, a black bag and then had time to call the plumber and wait for them to arrive. Well, does she have nothing else to do that day? Imagine if this was like, because I'm assuming this is a while ago,

because now people have blink cameras in their house. Like, people have a lot of cameras in their house. Imagine. I wonder if she told it. Because did he be like, oh, do you get home safe? She's like, yeah, yeah. Or what, like, no, I'm still in your house. Oh my God, 270 pounds.

Oh, my God. Big poo. Big, big poo. It's a dirty job. It's a dirty, dirty job. It's a dirty job. I wish, honestly, my mum always said this. She's like, go and be a plumber.

You'll always make money as a plumber. Yes. People will always need plumbers. A lot people don't pay, do they? That's really bad. Do they not? No, it's really bad. What?

My friend's dad is a plumber and they always had so much trouble with trying to collect debts. Oh my God, really? Honestly. And people would just be like, yeah, no, I'm not going to pay. Wait, what? I just like slam the door at their face and there's just nothing they can do. That's really upset. me. I know. It's, isn't it outrageous?

Yeah, that's so bad. Can make it angry if you think about it. People have gone all that way. Fuck you. You get the service. You fucking pay for it. And also, they've broken up your shit. They've bypassed the hair in your shower and, like, the shit in your loo. Pay the people. Pay the people what they deserve. Disgusting. Good God.

And on that note, I'm all high-up. I know. I know. Anyway. Anyway. Thank you for that embarrassing story. That's absolutely my day. Gold. Gold. If anyone else has any other embarrassing stories, they'd like to share with us or is it just me's that they'd like us to butcher with an answer. Our email address is should I delete that pod at gmail.com or our Instagram is at should I delete

that and we'll see you on Monday. Should I delete this dot com? No, bang bang bang. Should I delete this dot com? It's so good. I want that to be there little preaching for that. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAST creator network.

Thank you.