Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: The whole of the moon

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

In this week's IIJM, the girls talk about the end of the ick, the Kardashians and why you should always wear pyjamas...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Should I Delete That. I am Alex Light. And I'm M. Clarkson and this is a Thursday episode of Is It Just Me? Is it just me? So. I was so pleased you interrupted. I was going to start singing and I knew when I started on the note, I was like, I regret it, I regret it, I don't want to do this.

Why am I doing this? So thanks. I preempted it. I wanted to save everyone's ears. So we have had a response. a response from someone's partner about men and when they need to wing. Oh, was Alex's balloon? Al-an allergy, not enough. Exactly. No, no, no. This, this guy disagrees, right. Hi, Alex M and all the rest of the S-I-D-L podcast team. I'm not sure what the L is, but I like it.

I take it. Siddles. Siddle. Should I delete loads? Love. Not love. Should I delete love? So I'm just listening to your most recent part about needing to pee and penises believe... It's just a man listening to the podcast? No, no, no. Oh, few. I was like, wait. Have patience, dear friend.

Listen, my husband and I have had this conversation far too many times that I want to admit. And he said the opposite answer to your Alex M. He said, when he is desperate for a wee, he feels the need to go all the way down to the shaft of his penis. And as a child would hold the end of his penis to stop himself going. He openly admitted one time that he kept hold of the end and proceeded to we, causing a massive penis urine balloon, which obviously caused what you can only be described as a urine splash zone. That sounds like folklore.

Like, that doesn't sound real. I know, I know. A penis balloon? How fucking traumatising. A penis balloon! That is exactly how I imagined it in my own head. A penis balloon? Yeah, big old penis balloon.

I'm imagining that attached to a piece of string being like dragged along by, some little child through like a nice Mary Poppins as a scene. Not good. A penis balloon. It's not a good visual. It's a horrifying visual. It's horrifying. You know what? I'm going to Google it. Let's see what we get.

You're going to regret this. Penus with we inside balloon. Ballooning for... Oh my God. I want to see what you saw. I want to see what you saw. penis with we inside using my foreskin as a piss balloon oh my god

oops you can't see this website because it's not approved on the list on the screen time list am I a child I'm a child oh my god this is how this is wow I've child blocked myself I'm a mother

and I can't I'm nearly 30 can you send me the link see if we can trick the system Oh, my God. Okay, fine. Just tell me in the listeners what's happening then. Sorry, sorry. Horrified.

So basically, my screen is now filled with penis balloons. Huge, huge penis balloons. They absolutely use their full, I think it's using the foreskin as a piss balloon, literally. Can you get, did you see that? What sent you? No. A piss balloon.

So my Alex was wrong. Well, so you could, okay. You know what, this has taught me, if anything. Well, I've learnt a couple of things. First of all, well, no, I've learnt two things. I've learned one thing, and I've learned it for two reasons. I need to be more compassionate and you need to be more compassionate to Dave, and I need to be more compassionate to Alex when they need to weed

because they've got tiny, pathetic little bladders. Because we had a comment on the Instagram saying that there was a listener who was really disappointed in us for not speaking very inclusively about people with tiny bladders. So we have to be more compassionate. to our pathetic little husbands with their pathetic little flatters. No, there wasn't.

And, but, oh, they're serious. Well, I mean, yeah, that is serious. Someone was disappointed with us. But also, um, the, the fact that his balloon, his willy could actually turn into a balloon

and therefore potentially pop is incentive enough for me to let him go to the loo when he needs to go to the loo and not make him waddle around the rest of the park because, God forbid, he ended up in that situation. That would give me the ick

on such a massive scale. It's Willie popped because it fills with weight. He made a Willie balloon and then it burst. Ew. Although we have to stop saying it, apparently. No, we don't.

No, we don't. No, we don't. I saw what you saw. Our lovely friend Sasha, who we love to death, who was actually a forthcoming guest on the podcast, said she was done with the ick.

That doesn't mean we have to be done with the ick, Al. Do you not think? No, she said it wasn't very nice. And it isn't very nice. And it isn't very nice, but... No, it's not. But, you know what?

No one gives me the ick more than me. Like, I give myself... Nothing gave me the ick more than when I was in the hospital, literally in labour. And then when they admit you into the hospital, they put a wristband on you, just, you know, to red just... I don't know why. They just... Don't ask questions, okay? When doctors do stuff, don't ask questions.

So they put a wristband on you, and if you're allergic to something, they put a red wristband on you. Instead of red wristband. And I was like, give me the biggest egg. I was like, I hope, I like, oh, like, why am I such an attention seeker? This is just so, I just gave myself the ick so massive. This is so attention seeking. Like, just pathetic. Like, grow up, grow up.

You just stupid little allergies. So, if you give yourself the ick, and obviously, obviously I give myself the ick, surely then it's okay for, for you to comment on the icks that other people give you too. I mean, the thing is. As long as there's like equal opportunities it. Yes. I mean, it's so, the point of the ick is that it's so irrational. It's not like, oh, he gives me the ick because of his teeth. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's mean. But it's like, he gave me the ick because he tied his shoelaces up.

Like, it's so irrational. I asked Dave what his biggest ick was. And he said, my sister's feet. That's too specific. That's just being. Sorry. What? I know. I was like, what? And why? The twins, right? So the twins. So they don't have the best feet. feet in the world, like, to put it, to put it mildly. But that was like the last thing I thought he was going to say. And he was just, he's, for a good moment, he was just like, the twins's feet.

I was like, whoa. Do they have to say feet because they're twins? Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Literally the same feet. I know. It's so weird. Like, exactly the same. Whoa. I never thought about that before. They've both got bunions. It's so weird. Yeah, okay, that'll give me the egg too. No, the thing, it is so specific. Like, I don't think it's, like, I think it's, like, I, I think, Dave might have missed the like the general ick vibe yeah he's like what repulses me

what repulses me what it's absolutely your sister's feet no the icks just it's completely irrational yeah god I get icks all the time but you're right mostly from myself

actually yeah I give my yeah as I'm doing something I'm like oh ick what like if I'm never like chasing something rolling away mortifying

Absolutely mortifying. When I pick food off myself, if I dribble food on myself and I pick it and I'm like, oh, I'm just vile, I'm just disgusting. Bending over in the shower, I give myself the ache. I just imagine it from anyone else's perspective like bending over to pick up my shower gel and just like, oh, I'm so vulnerable right now. Like I'm just, I'm so slippery, wet and naked. Like put me in any other context and this is fucking revolting. Like, if you pluck anyone out the shower and then just like, if you just click your fingers and bam, like they're in exactly the same position, but they're not in a shower

anymore. Like, ugh. Ew. So that's like a point. That's like a point. Although I don't really, do you know what? I don't get the ick from seeing Dave in the shower. No, exactly. The ick is irrational. Yeah. I don't really get that. Even when he's like cleaning himself, I don't, I don't find that icky. No, that's not, no, it's, I don't find myself icky. It's literally when I bend over to pick up the soap and it's like, butthole to the air. And I'm just, it's just, it's just such a vulnerable position. Bend over right now to pick something I'm just like, oh, and then do it when you're naked. I think I've said this on the podcast before, possibly, maybe, I don't know, probably.

He probably said at the live show, I can't remember. But, like, often, Dave will just bend over, like, all the way over. And he's completely naked, bends all the way over and then calls me into the room. And I'm like, why are you doing, why do it? Why do it? Can he bend all the way? Can he touch his toes? Yeah, he bends, he folds in half his entire body.

body doubles right and then he calls me into the room and like an idiot every time i laugh i piss myself i don't want to i want to be like you're fucking childish this is immature this is a waste of our good precious time but every time i piss myself that does sound you know what you should get oh my god you know what you should get him for his birthday what get him a voucher for two tattoos to have a double you on each butt cheek and then when he bends over it'll say wow that took me a second I don't get it. That's so good. Oh my God. No, why don't you get two L's and then it's lull? That is so good. I bet someone's done that. Oh my God, of course people have done that. Obviously I'm going to. There was not an original idea left on this earth. Okay. I don't think

my screen restriction will let me Google that. Brilliant. Well, there you go. Okay. Right. I have something, I have an embarrassing story to read us. Hi, Alex and M. Yesterday morning at 6, my alarm started ringing much louder the news. I must have left the ring up on very loud. In my half-conscious state, I rolled onto my stomach and whacked the phone to try and turn off the alarm. It fell through the slats of my bed and onto the floor below, where it continued to wail like the golden egg in Harry Potter 4. Such a specific...

So's a specific. I love it. She did not need to say Harry Potter 4. We all know. We are... No, we don't. You didn't know? No.

What? Well, we should. I reached down, putting my arm through the bed frame and picked up the phone. Thankfully, the noise stopped. The only problem was I couldn't get my arm back through. Important detail here. When I sleep, I don't wear a single item of clothing. So I was now bollick naked with my arms tucked through the bed frame.

I tried every angle to get it out, proceeding to grow more and more panicked. As my arm started to swell. Oh, no. My elbow was the problem, as I couldn't get the bone past the wooden slats of the bed. I tried to reach out and grab some moisturiser by my bed to grease it up a little bit. Now, what was that doing that?

But it was too far away. Thankfully, I still live at home. To my naked embarrassment, I had to phone my poor mum to ask her for help. She was half asleep and baffled as she arrived, switched on the light. A lot of olive oil and hysterical crying occurred from both of us. She also tried to prize the favour part slightly, but nothing worked. So mum decided she would call the fire brigade To come and saw me out

There must have been something about the idea Of a potentially handsome fireman Finding me there naked, boobs hanging down, sweaty And with an arm that at this point resembled a lushereo That gave me the idea to move the bed With more space between the bed and the wall I was able to push my hand against the wall And use my other arm to pull my swollen skin through

The elbow was crushed and my arm looked like it was bitten in several places from the bruising but I finally managed to free myself I then had to go into uni and give a big presentation trying not to laugh at what had happened that morning although I did almost break my arm my family can't stop laughing about it now it's been one of those weeks already

and that was the cherry on top yes I love the podcast thanks for all the last for them congratulations for the day oh my god that is so good but can I just say I would rather call the fire brigade first off than ring my mother

no out because think about it your mum would wake up and be like why are the fire brigade here and she would just follow the fireman into your room who would let the fire brigade in your mum would have to answer the door and be like why are you here there's no fire you can go home now and then you'll have to be like mum

send them up here and then everybody comes fuck oh my god that is so bad that that might have given me the ick if like that might have that could pretend like that

that could be the ick that is irrational the sound that it's distressing me

I'm feeling I'm feeling panic rise at the thought of that that would be absolutely her

God love her and the more you try the harder it gets for pyjamas like

I love I before having Arlo I love sleeping naked but it

gets harder to justify as I get older yeah because I just God, how embarrassing.

Okay, you imagine a fire in the middle of the night. And obviously now I've got Arlo here. I've had to work out. Well, I already had it worked out because of Bua. So it's like, okay, I'm in the top of the house. So if there's a fire, I can jump out the window to the roof below, but I can't do that with Arlo and Bua now. So what we'd have to do with me and Alex would have to, like,

make the bed sheet into a sling and then we could hang it out the window. And then we could, like, I'll jump down. And then Alex can put Olo in a sling and then pass it down. Do you know what I mean? Like, we could work that out. that would be like that so anyway imagine having to do that naked mortifying because i live in a very busy part of london so it's like everyone would be looking looking to be like oh i've got a fire and then it'd be like oh my god a fire and a naked woman hanging from her window sliding down

probably bending over to pick something up with a butthole in the air wow ick massive ick that's a huge ick I mean, it's an incredibly specific hypothetical situation, but okay, you know, if that... Ow, if you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. That's all I know. I mean, at some point, that motto can take over your life. But okay, I get, I get it. I do get it. But also, imagine an intruder comes to the house. Oh, apparently, my friend got broken into recently and the police said that the best thing to do, because I have, we sleep with a baseball bat in the room, but he, the parents, it's best to have a whistle. No, I've got a better idea. I think if the intruder comes in,

you stand up naked and you bend over and you go, wow. And they'll just get the it. Yeah, they're like, oh, I'm out. Do you know what? I do you know what? It's actually quite hard to get in here and I just felt like this was the right house, but actually it's not, I'm out. I'm gone. Yeah, this is, I don't want any of your stuff. Like you, you repulsed me. I haven't off the cuff, is it just me? Okay. Random off the cuff, spontaneous coming from sleeping with pajamas on. have to sleep with pyjamas on because I don't like my skin touching my skin. My Alec cannot bear his skin touching his skin. Really? So he has to have the duvet in between his eggs. Yes. Yes. I love my skin touching my skin. I can't bear it. It's it. My sister

always used to say that she'd only shave one of her legs so when she was lying alone in bed at night, it was like she was in there with a man. That gave me the ache. That gave me the egg. That gave me the egg. Um, another example of like the punishment that can't I guess they're not listening to The Fogdust. And your sisters too with their bunions. I know. And now we are so sorry to us. But yeah, if anyone else has the same, like, especially when my legs touch, I just don't like it.

I really don't like it. In between my armpits as well, I don't like that either. I want something in between them. Really? Yeah, it's so weird. I've never felt like that before. I have to like pull my pants, my trousers, like right up. To your armpits?

No, to my crotch. So there's like no thigh touching. What, so even your flaps aren't touching each other. And my bum cheeks. I can't a pair of my bum cheeks touching. I'll tell you what I'm imagining. You know, when you go for a pedicure and they put like, you know. The sponge in between your toes.

Like around the flaps. You've got to have it in between your butt crack and in between your vulva. keep it all wary that could be ick-inducing that is yeah that's the icky

I've ever heard in my life yeah we are not canceling the ick it's too important I think it's I think and I also think it's a really vital part of like I do think

as human beings we need to be humbled from time to time do you know what I mean yes yes and that's what the ick does it serves to humble

do you think and it makes for better people they just make me laugh honestly like i just find them funny when people say like this is like my ick is when he like drops his fork on the floor like that stuff makes me laugh but maybe i'm being mean i don't know it just makes me laugh probably probably probably definitely i mean shouldn't have dropped his fork though what a loser what just hold on butter fingers jesus where's your hand i made something else that's the idiot something else that's off the cuff and wasn't part of today's programming

but I watch this video on TikTok right I mean obviously like spend my whole life on TikTok now do you know what I'm kind of fascinated with is like the Kardashians and their PR moves oh god I'm so excited to talk to you about this apparently everyone's everyone doesn't like the Kardashians anymore apparently their time is done that's what I keep doing right they're in their flop era I did that in

Airquoise. They're in their flop era. It's their downfall. And I watched this video, this guy who's like a, he's like a pop culture professor he calls himself so fast. I just find it so fascinating. And he talks through like the 10 reasons why they're in their like flop era, like what has like contributed to their downfall. And I just find it so fascinating. So I want to ask you, do you think they're in their flop era? I am quite fascinated. I tell you what. I'm not going to give you a direct answer because I don't know. no i don't i think since um the haley beber situation yeah um so for people who have a life and don't live on ticot like me and al um selina gomez and haley beber and kiley jenna have all

apparently it it does appear to be that kiley jenna and haley beber have been kind of knobs to selina gomez like just mean mean girl vibes anyway i do feel like since that kiley has like like really fallen from grace. And I've been looking at all the comments on her Instagram. And oh my God, like, she's just launched a new mascara. And there is not one positive comment on her posts. Like, it is, and I've literally been like going through and through and through. Because I'm fascinated, I think we talked about this before,

about the revolting culture that calls out bullying by bullying. Yeah. Like everyone's like so mad at Kylie and Haley and they're just like, these girls are fucking bullies. so let's ruin their lives. And it's like, oh, well, the irony just flooded through you guys there. I don't know, because then I saw a thing about, I saw Chloe, because she hasn't come out with the name of her son yet, I don't think.

And, you know, they did the thing on, you know, the Ellen interview or whatever it was, where she's like, I don't, whoever, saying that she hasn't, like, named the baby yet, and then all the comments are like, we don't care, we don't care, we don't care. Whereas when it was Kylie, a few years back, and she hadn't come out with the name of her kid, everyone was like, I wonder what it is, I wonder what it is. Do you know what I mean? So it does feel a bit like everyone's kind of done.

But then it does feel like that. It does feel like that. And I do, I find myself, I've definitely got less interest in them and what they're doing. And also in what they look like as well, because I think like, it's like, it's like so, it's like human nature to be so fascinated by them because they're constantly changing up.

their appearance, they're constantly switching up their appearance, like, they always look different, but like, always like, like, perfect. I'm saying that in like, I don't know, like, flawless, like doesn't, you know, I don't know, but they always just look different. So I've always been fascinated by it, but yeah, I find my interest waning. But should I tell you, so I'll just quickly list these five things that, these 10 things that you said for why they're, I, before you do, is one of them the fact that they stopped doing a reality. show and took the production of that in-house. Because I think that's pretty much

where you can see the shift in public opinion. I think when it was whoever did it before Ryan Seacrest produced it, I think there was an element of like, it's their life. Whereas now, even the fucking cameras have filters on, don't

they? Like, it's so... It's so convoluted and so contrived. And filtered. Yeah. I think, like, I don't that's on this list, but that for me feels like where it, everyone was just like, oh, you know what, like, fuck off. Because even, you know, every TikTok has an automatic filter on it. Like,

everything has an automatic filter on it. And I think people literally were looking to, are looking to TV as a sort of escape from that, maybe. A hundred percent. So, I'll go through them. So first one is that they denied setting unrealistic standards. You know, when they did that reunion with Andy, um, and they, they, they, they, he said, do you think that you, promote unrealistic standards, unattainable standards for other women. And Kimmer's like, no, we get up, we do the work, we eat healthy, we work out. So they kind of missed out on that opportunity to be like obviously our looks are hugely important to us. So we, you know, blah, blah. And we've got all this money and accessibility. Blah blah. So number two, turning their back on curvy women. I'm not saying

like I agree with all of this. I'm just listing them. Because, you know, like initially they were like for the curve. Like they had curves and stuff and now they absolutely don't. Three, losing their family brand. Like it used to be like they'd fight, they'd argue all the time But they'd always be like super close as a family And now like Courtney you can tell It's like really fractious Number four turning their back on TV show fans They've just like basically completely unrelatable now

They used to be the perfect mix of relatable Like you know super rich But like still with the problems that we have You know Yeah yeah The Astro World thing with Travis Like that they never I don't think they ever

addressed that, never kind of took any responsibility. No, but I do take issue with that. It's not their place to responsibility. Like, I'm sick of women being held to account for men's fuck. You know what I mean? That's on him. Yeah. It's the same with Kim and Kanye.

It's just like, it's not her. It's not her. It's not her. Agreed. Listen to this big old list. There's a whole load of shit we can dislike her for. I don't think it's fair. Yeah, agreed.

Not like her for the man stuff. Seven indifferent to COVID suffering. This was all about her not take them going away to a private island and, you know, the Valenciaga scandal and the fact that they're unrelatable billionaires. So I just thought it was really interesting. I just find this stuff like so fascinating. But I honestly think like the quote is that the devil works hard, but Chris Jenner works harder. And I think there and you can tell they're all taking a step back at the moment. And I do think that there will be some kind of overhaul. And I think there will be like a focus on maybe like philanthropic,

I can never say that name. Thalamp. Yeah, like Kim's legal staff. Yeah. We got married at the same weekend. Well, Wonderful Weddings is the same weekend as my only wedding. And her dress was like a good like five foot shorter than mine. Yeah, it was a mini dulcane Gabano on, wasn't it? Yeah. But they've just released, then that was another thing. They just released the wedding video and like all the comments were just like, we don't care, we don't care, we don't care. But then I tell you what I do find really annoying is people comment. like going please no and I'm just like you don't need to beg just don't watch it like nothing annoys me more than people comment to go please no and it's like um you like it is literally

of no bearing if you don't want to watch it just don't watch you have to beg them not to make it because if you comment we don't care you obviously you're obviously yeah I do find that absolutely like please everybody's had enough and it's like well then and nothing annoys me more like please please no oh please queen don't do this oh please it's just like oh my god go right away just close your eyes close your eyes it's so weird like i don't yeah i don't i don't understand that and i like yeah i think that's the culture that like the daily male has bred but we're all just like oh we're so sick of this so we're going to talk about it but literally just don't follow them because this thing is boring is so much we're going to talk about it

Yeah, it's so weird. You can live a very happy, healthy life with absolutely no awareness. Look how happy Dave is. And I guarantee you, where is he in the house right now? Because I bet you he can not name all those sisters. He's not because he would absolutely not be able to name two of those sisters. He doesn't care. Meanwhile, my Alex is an absolute whore for reality television.

He was telling me only this morning about the Beverly Hills Housewives. Oh, my God. of them has a pet two pet swans she does i think i know their names lucky and fuck fuck lucky and oh my god what her names don't google it don't google it let me ask my alice let me ask my alice names hang on alex will tell you hang on do you know what the real housewives lady swans are called uh i don't know hanky yes hanky and panky hanky yeah he knew it amazing we're back after I bought Arloin

of my broken fucking boob because I've got a blocked milk duck and I have never known pain like it and Alex and Alex had to talk about real house lives for like five solid minutes I don't know how he finds the time I mean it's made me realise

that if he wanted to be doing he could be having an affair because I'm clearly incredibly unobservant but he somehow got through five seasons reality show Five seasons? Well, I guess so. Since all I was born?

No, no, no, just recently. I don't, I don't, I don't know when he does it. I thought we'd spend quite a lot of time together, but I'm clearly, I don't know. Oh my God, I love, oh my God, he's such a Bravo whore. I love it, I am. He's such a horror. He's seen all of it. All of the housewives.

Oh, my God. He loves them. So, so good. I mean, he could, in another life, he is one. he would make such a good housewife to be fair wouldn't he wouldn't he he'd absolutely fucking thrive oh my god they need a house husband they've never had that before oh my god house husbands are south london sign us up well there used to be a ladies of london which was a fantastic watch um no housewives of london i don't know why it was such a good it was so good

it was such a good watch and like housewives of cheshire continued so i don't Anyway, so Kardashians, I don't know, I just thought we could talk about it. I just, I do find pop culture, like, super interesting and, like, I'm fascinated by, like, the moves that people make to, like, continue their relevance, or, like, to change their, you know, their reputation and stuff like that. I just find it really interesting.

Yeah, I mean, I don't, they may be, they may be, they're not flopping. Like, they're just not. Like, they're still... I think that's too big. And they are way too big. And they have... I mean, they've also made brands that are... I mean, particularly Kim.

Like, Skims is a really good brand. Is it? Quality-wise, clothing-wise. Yeah. Like, I really like the dresses when I was pregnant. And I've got a hoodie from that... And I just... I like their shit.

Yeah. And I do believe... You know, they're stocked in self-ridges and stuff, and they are popular. So I do believe, like, they've made a good brand. I can't speak for Kylie's makeup stuff. The good American jeans that Chloe makes seems to be pretty good.

Like, they are always going to have, like, not only that, but they will always be fucking fascinating. Because everybody that says, like, oh, I don't care about the Kardashians and stuff, like, we will study this in, like, 50 years. Like, I think people don't appreciate how, what they've done. It's mad. It's absolutely mad.

It's extraordinary. They took a sex tape and made it this. I mean, it's actually. extraordinary and she's now working you know say what you want about it but she's working you know for prison reform this is a woman that literally had a sex tape and she's now working with the president yeah it's unbelievable

on prison reform like it is actually mad yeah yeah I don't think they're really going to flop but I also I find everyone's like oh boring snooze blah blah blah and it's like it objectively isn't boring though it's not it's not it might not be interesting to you but it is fucking fascinating oh I'll tell you what actually just on and is it just me I've been listening to recently

the sentimental garbage podcast have you ever come across it? No who's that? Oh my God it's my absolute new obsession right and it's basically they basically describe it as Caroline O'Donoghue as the host and she basically describes it as sorry everyone I have Arlo with me she basically

describes it as a deep dive into the things we love that society told us to hate so it's like They did, I listened to one the other day on the film Wimbledon, do you remember from 2004 with Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst's film? And they did a deep dive analysis on that. They've done the Bridget Jones one.

Oh my God. They've done, um... I need to listen to this. All the sex in the city seasons, which they call Sentimental in the City, with Donnie Alderton. And it's so good. It's getting me through. Like, I'm listening to so many of them right now.

They did Gilmore Girls. Okay. And absolutely loving it. And that's been really good for me. Like, I don't know, to feel a bit of solidarity because I do think society makes us feel, particularly women feel stupid for, I mean, I know my Alex has just bopped the trend there

by covering it and talking about hanky and pankey, the swans of the real house lives, or whatever. But all this stuff, like, no one would take seriously. But it's like, but it is interesting and fascinating. Yeah. And we don't need to undermine it just because it's not fucking the financial times. Exactly. Dave undermines my reality TV rubbish so much and yet he is incredibly invested in F1, golf, football, all of these things. And I always say to him like, but I don't

know where I'm going with this, but like F1 is, I actually don't know if I want to say that. F1 is a group of men driving around in a circle very quickly. Right. Football is a group of men chasing a football around a field for 90 minutes and don't even get me started. on how fucking boring golf is. So, he's on very thin eyes to then come and say that sex tape to prison reform is boring.

Well, his rebuttal to that is oh, you're watching like athletes at the top of their game. But, and also with F1 because I'm like, okay, look, I think we said this on last week's podcast. Like, I love Drive to Survive. Like, I'm obsessed now.

I am obsessed. Like Formula One is now my life just because I watched a Netflix show. but it is gross to see this amount of money like they talk about spending up a million pounds like it's so blasey and throw away the way they talk about it it's like it's like a million pound equates to like a hundred pounds they're just like oh that'll be a million half million to fix the car

and I'm like this is so disgusting that there is this amount of money in it that is the rebuttal that women get like if Kim Kardashian talk like when she talks like that about a million pounds or whatever or when any woman talks like that about any woman talks like that about any amount of money or any reality TV store or whatever everyone's like oh that's fucking disgusting don't they know there are people starving don't they care about their impact

don't they care that there's a cost of living crisis like look at um you know the fact that on that list is is that list of why people don't like the Kardashians anymore like they're not related to they're blah they did this they went to a private island they're billionaires and it's just like when women do it we don't like it

we just we think it's disgusting and we think it's like they don't deserve it whereas when footballers are being paid millions of pounds. And I'm not saying that they don't deserve to be paid well, but we know that it's not right because the women aren't being paid the same amount of female footballers. Yeah. And so I just, it does slightly jar me. It's just like every, I mean, so many, so many families up and down this country, have had their weekend dictated by sporting fixtures. Like, oh, we've got to be back for qualifying or we've got to be back because of the

games on, oh, can someone record match in the day? Whatever. And if we said that, like, oh we've got to get back in time for the Kardashians and oh can someone record real house like it'll be like oh you're stupid fucking telly ball are your soapbox this and you're stupid flimsy women blah blah blah and it's just like oh come on come on you're watching you're watching and i'm watching it too but we're watching men spray champagne at each other because they went fast around a road like come on yeah yeah okay and yeah we're watching and then you watch women spray champagne each other because they'd be paid a lot to go to a club but it's horses for courses like i don't know it's it just feels

incredible it just it that's why bring up the sentimental garbage thing it just feels like another way of belittling people's interests that really are quite inconsequential like it doesn't matter and like i don't know i've been having listened to this it's like there are so many books or films that i've been kind of like ashamed to like and then you realize when you're listening to them it's just like when you when you really think about it it's just like why am i why do i feel shame for that. Whereas Dave can be like properly proud of his golf watching. I know, it's not right, is it? Do you know what? I'm going to get him to listen to this episode. He'll love that. He won't. He just won't. He just won't. He just won't. He really won't.

Also, if you make him listen to this, then he's going to have to know that you've told everyone about the fact that every week he bends over and shows you his awful and scrotum. I saw the whole of the moon. And on that note. Yeah. This has felt really long. We've been recording for like hours. Oh, I've had another idea for Dave's butthole.

I'm thinking tattoo-wise, if you got, you could have all the planets in order. So, like, he could be, like, he could choose which one he wanted to be. Oh. He could be like Venus or whatever. And then he says all the other planets on one side. That is such a good idea. Isn't it? And it can be stunning.

You could do the stars. You could be the whole galaxy on his bumhole. Do you, have you had on TikTok? come up the videos where they show you all the planets in scale. And we are so tiny. And then you get to the big black hole and it's like unbelievable. That could be Dave's bum hole. That could be Dave's bum hole.

Right, we want suggestions to the Instagram please. Tattoos for Dave's cheeks. He just came home and he's just heard that. That could be Dave's bum hole. Did you hear that, Dave? I'm designing you a tattoo for your butthole. We're talking about your bum hole. The big black hole, yeah

The big black hole, exactly that Okay, we will be taking applications And the best suggestion wins Well, on that note We will see you on Monday With a new episode And a new suggestion for Dave's butthole Tattoo

All welcome Thanks guys Thanks for listening guys, see later Bye Bye Thank you so much for listening Should I delete that Is part of the ACAST creator network