Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: "There's your breakfast"

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? it's Al's followers that kill it with a variety of quick-fire embarrassing stories, Daisy pops in to share an Is It Just Me? of her own, and Alex asks Em how to use a washing machine.Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know all our glamping units have a resort, quality, Canadian-made, and eco-friendly bed? Since day one, we have proudly partnered with Colonna-based mattress company Haven, ensuring you have the best sleep possible. So it's just one more reason to visit us in the Boreal Forest. You can also try out a Haven Mattress, risk-free, for 100 nights, at Havenmatress.ca. Hello. Hello. Hello. And welcome back to Should I Delete that? Oh, we're not doing it. I'm not, I'm not even indulging it. I'm not having it. Hello. How are you? Is it just me time? And Daisy, producer Daisy has, and is it just me for us? She asked us in the WhatsApp group. We were like, sorry, we can't, we can't answer this until you ask us on Thursday. So is it just me who gets annoyed when people ask you, are you free? Or, was it? Are you? Are you free? Or was it? Are you? I mean, like, are you busy? Are you busy on, are you busy on Friday night?

I'm like, it literally depends on what you're asking me to do. Like, I'm not, but I always say, busy. I'm kind of like, try and give it with like a barrier. I'm like, yes, but only if I don't have to leave my house. Like, I don't know. I cannot be busy and still want to stay at home that night, you know? So that, that, is it just me?

No. No, that's so annoying. You have to say. And if you're going to ask that question, you have to immediately follow it up with because I have, I don't know, two tickets to a ball game. I don't know what that came back. Yes. I am currently in the midst of really trying to get myself out of something in two weeks. And I am scrambling. And I have deployed as many vageties as possible. So now I'm having to make other plans to not do the original plans that I said I was busy for. Oh my God. It's brutal, isn't it? It's definitely not just you. On a Monday night. I'm having to make Monday night plans because I didn't want to do a Monday night thing. But can't we just want to, it's just, why is it not acceptable to say, it's not, it's not you, it's just, I've planned to stay in my house and not go anywhere. Right, right. And if it's something amazing, then you'll, then you can go.

Yeah. But if it's not, then. Yeah, are you around to come over and collect like four million pounds? Yeah, you probably make that work. like are you busy because I think I've like broken my leg and I need to go to the I've thought yes I could make that work are you busy because I need someone to look after my cat like yes I'm very busy so no but then M did this to me yesterday which you guys have definitely said on the podcast before where she said I knew I was a quick call as I was doing it I was like why have I done this to her I actually don't usually mind but there was half an hour between that text and when I texted you and said honestly I can't wait

longer because I was like my I don't have a job anymore I've been fired I was like that's it it's fine it's fine it's fine it's no problem it's fine if you can just tell me on the phone that'd be that'd be cool I knew I knew I was being an arson as well I was like can I call you but I didn't want to just call you because some people don't like just being called and I like just calling people but then I keep seeing memes from people who hate being called which is awkward because can I just say April who I work with who I ring every day at least once shed a meme the other day being like I hate being called and I was like mm-hmm that's dragged it to my heart.

Is this pointed? Yeah. So now I've started trying to be better and saying, can I call you? But that, in and of itself, scares people. So then you have to say, hey, can I call you? Because, and then you have to write out the thing you want to call them about, so you haven't saved any fucking time. So you can't win from the other side. Basically, no one should talk to each other.

Agree. Is that it? But I think that's why voice notes were invented in my head. Oh, yeah, could have voice notes. You could have done that. You don't have to call. But then I'd have to wait for you to reply, and then it's a whole thing. You can't do a logistical voice in it.

Voicing is like, hey, how are you? This is what my baby did today and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and like boring stuff that you can listen to at like 0.2 speed. But like, if it's a logistical... Do you listen to voice notes at 0.2 speed? 1.5, yeah. Guys, I think that's actually mad. Why?

I used to have a flatmate who would listen to podcasts at like two times speed, and I'm like, I think that's psychopathic. Why? Because I don't understand how you would want to listen to someone's voice in that speak. I just can't. Is it literally just to retain the information quicker? No, yeah, I just want it over. I just want to hear what has to be said and then I want to leave. But the thing is, is the three of us, we all talk really quickly, but some people are really considered with how they talk. And I'm like, hurry the fuck up. I cannot. I am so impatient.

and in that case. Hi, how are you? Oh, sorry, I'm just out in the park. Oh, what's, I, like, boo, like, boo, what are you like? And I know that I do that at the beginning of a voice in it. And I just think, I hope to God someone sped this up, because otherwise I just feel sorry for them. Well, maybe I'm basing it off of editing your podcast and voice noting both of you.

And I'm like, well, we can't. We simply can't speed it up. It's already the quickest thing ever. Her people's hands are already spinning at the end of our episode, so maybe not. All right. I leave you. Yes, because it's not just you. Love you, goodbye.

Love you, thanks, Daisy. I have my own, is it just me? Hit me. It's niche and it's really weird. But I think, if I think it, I can't be the only one, right? That's something that we learn from this podcast. But if it's that niche, we might have to cut this out. So let's see.

Is it just me or do other people doubt whether your washing has been washed when you take it out of the washer? I never trust the washing machine I don't have full confidence in the washing machine and when I take stuff out the washing machine I'm like I don't believe this has been washed There's a really really big indicator that the washing machine has worked Go on

Your clothes will be wet Yes They're wet but are they washed Okay Has there been an interaction with soap And water and has it gone all over every inch of my clothes I don't know and it stresses me out. Every time my tics about the washing machine, I'm like, I just don't believe it.

I don't believe it. So you think that your washing machine is sporadically tricking you and only pouring water and not adding soap and just doing a three hour, one hour, two hour cycle, just with water, just to fuck with you occasionally. I don't know. I don't think it's intentional. I don't think it's vindictive. I just feel like I've got no way of knowing. What about smelling it?

Well, Dave uses this, I don't know, like extra clean, like bio. It's good stuff, you know, it's nice stuff, but like it doesn't smell. And also because I've got X-Men, so I can't really have smelly stuff because it irritates me. So I don't know there's no smell. And then they can't wet. You could add a bit of fabric. Well, I mean, there's the writing sort of on the wall there. If you put your liquid in at the beginning and then you get your wet clothes out at the end, all arrows are pointing to

wards clean. Okay, but what if you've put too much in? Like, what is the right limit for how much you put in? Do you fill the drum? Do you only heart in it? This is such a sweet way of you asking, like, how to be an adult? Why I've got you here? How exactly do I use the washing machine? Um, so you kind of, I'd say like three quarters full. We actually overfilled the washing machine the other day and then that's why that nice Welsh plumber called Lawrence had to come out and fix it who mistakenly thought that Alex was in a thruple with me and Rory, that was what that confusion was because widows of the washing machine. So it is possible. You could probably do one load of bedding and a towel, maybe. A load of bedding and two towels depending

on what your bedding's like or how big your towels are. But not two loads of bedding. That would be the cut off for me. Not over stuff. Do you want to be able to get your arms in the top and and then go do do do with your little hands and you've got a little bit of space. So it's not like full, full stuff it, pack it. It's not like packing your suitcase at the end of a holiday. This is my problem with adult ink.

Actually, this is a problem with a lot of my life. I am very specific, right? And if I don't have specific, very specific instructions, like in an ideal world, the washing machine would speak to me and say, that's it, you know? I put like, I'm clean. I've done my door.

The last pair of knickers in and they go, no, no, they go like, stop now, don't put anything more in the drum. And then I'd be like, okay, well, I know for certain now. There is something, but a lot of it is left up to interpretation. There's always room for another pair of knickers. Always. Doesn't matter how full it is.

No, but is there, um, is there? Is there? Or does that pair of knickers then create a real problem with actually washing the rest of your clothes? Have you ever looked at your washing machine filter? No, that sounds like something I do not want to do. I didn't know about my washing machine filter. I didn't know about this until somebody put it on Instagram. I put a thing on my story a couple of, a year ago when I first moved here and I said,

what's something about adulting that's just like awful, something like that? And somebody said, checking, like cleaning the washing machine filter. And I was like, what the fuck is a washing machine filter? So I googled it. Every washing machine has a filter. It's at the bottom. You open it and you should put a bucket down because it's going to be full of water. because it's a washing machine and genuinely it was the most stressful 45 minutes of my life

because when I opened it I found false nails that didn't belong to me I found a key I found a key to this house which was weird I mean presumably it was from the person that lived there before but I got the locks changed just in case and I know and I found what else did I find I put this on Instagram I made it into a real because I make really good content that people just can't live without. I remember this actually. Yeah, it was pretty huge, pretty, pretty, pretty spectacular. And yes, it's, yeah, it's what people are massively interested in.

It's why I'm so successful. And it's, um, anyway, I haven't gone back since because now I know what, oh, maybe Alex did it actually. I think Alex might have done it recently. I'm really hoping that he's picked up the baton because I really bawled it last year. Anyway, then I, then those people on my Instagram were like, oh my God, I looked in my, they were finding fucking all sorts how oh i also found money i found like 70p oh my god i know oh i'm gonna get dave on it no why don't you get on it i think it'd be good for you i felt you need to

spend a bit of time getting to know the washing machine no no i will i will fuck this up i am good for the surface level stuff in the house okay anything this goes deeper i do bad can i just ask as a general level what would you consider surface level if it's just like living in it that doesn't count as a choice. I sought the existing. I'm really good at just sort of like sitting in it and like standing in it and just sort of like lying in it. No, I'm good at decluttering and tidying and making sure that the house look spotless. If you, if you dig a bit deeper, it isn't. But that's where I thrive, whereas Dave goes for the more intricate stuff where you have to use instructions which I can't do and stuff. But I do have to have another.

question how many listeners do you think we've lost at this point i'm so sorry anybody that can use their in washing machine the minute you ask how full the drum should be everyone is just like and i'm off you've gone i didn't need to stick around for this fucking shit i knew this was going to happen if i did it anyway well anyway just in case they're still here i have an embarrassing story. Hit me hit me. Hi M. Bump, Al, an extended team. You're all amazing and have kept me smiling during some of my darkest days, so thank you. Anyway, I have a hugely embarrassing story for you. I was going to my best friend's hendoo and had recently moved in with my boyfriend. Me and my mum were invited to the hen so my dad kindly picked me up and we went to the party.

My dad said he would pick us up and drop me home. Unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend was happily having a shrink at home to keep up with the spirit of the day. Right. When we returned, we made the fatal mistake of my mum and dad popping in to say hi. Firstly, it's worth noting that my mum and dad are tea total. Secondly, my partner was now totally pie-eyed and thirdly, and most importantly, although my mum is 30 years older, we are very similar in mannerisms and stature. Let me explain.

Myself and my dad went into the kitchen and within minutes I could hear mum scream. we frantically ran in to find that my partner had taken the opportunity while the parents left the room to jump on his girlfriend for a quick frisk only moments later he realized it wasn't me but my mom he had jumped onto her and taken her to the sofa now he isn't the most agile of men and struggled to roll off her my god my mom has a a long-standing issue with her back, which caused further issues. In the end, me and my dad had to come in to separate them. My mum and dad sharply left whilst I was apologising profusely. I heard my partner wake in the morning as the realisation of what happened occurred. He was fast

to the shop to buy flowers and ice packs. We've been married now for over 10 years, and he is my complete hero, but it's still the most awkward, funny and embarrassing moment of all of our lives. Well, other than when he ended up drunk in the wrong bed, but that's for a different time. I feel like this guy could do us of my best place. That is so, so, so funny. Killing her down onto the sofa and then she can't get back off again. It's so bad.

It's so intimate. It's so undignified to have somebody on top. You know when like, I don't know if you're a big cuddler. Me and you probably don't cuddle, but I don't know if you ever get it where like you lie on somebody else. this is so specific but like if you ever sit on someone's lap or like lie on them or have like a cuddle on the sofa and then when you have to get up from that it's always so embarrassing yeah like heaving and like you push and then like the sofa cushion soft so you haven't quite got the like push up that you need and that's agile me like with my husband not with not not 60 year old me with my son-in-law oh god more too Morton. I've never heard that but I like it. That is really embarrassing and I so feel for you. That is so bad. I have. I'm going to do a you so I did some embarrassing stories on my Insta and I thought I'd save them to fire them at you. Oh my God, I'm so excited. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm eating a great. Oh my God, can I just say really quickly? I have to acknowledge the fact that it's really bad of me for eating grapes. I'm really sorry that I had a DM from somebody apologising to me. She said, when I announced that I was pregnant, she sent me a message and she said, I'm so sorry

because when I was pregnant, green grape for the only thing that stopped me throwing up, I can't believe I shamed you for eating them. And I was like, oh my God, you're so cute, but you weren't to know. So was she the one that said that DM? No, she was one of them. I had many, many complaints. One apology, but mostly people are still absolutely disgusted, and it's fair enough. So, as you were. Then you're right. Right. So the first one is not a DM, but a tweet that I just

just fucking loved. Today, while I started shopping, I tried on a beautiful jacket. It was the jacket of a customer trying on another jacket and now I can never go shopping again. And I shared this on my Instagram and so many people replied and someone said that they took the jacket. This is another situation. They did the same thing and they took the jacket to the till. And the till person was like, I don't think this jacket belongs to us. Like this is the jacket of a customer and they found keys in the pocket and there was a woman like frantically running around me like where's my jacket where's my jacket someone took a pair of shoes to the counter there's a lot anyway that's incredibly flattering though like you know you dress well when

someone else literally will pay for your like your your coat not really though really I mean because that you bought them like they're so desperate it's like you made them yourself yeah clearly I saw that make a compliment the bar's so low for me I'm just like oh my god tell me they would have bought it in another shop where it was originally made but cool all right never mind okay so i got one that i shared um a woman went for a smear test and the nurse made a gesture to her legs and for some reason this woman put them in the air and then the nurse said what are you doing this isn't a gym class which was brilliant and she sent a picture to recreate the moment great legs in the air fully akimbo fantastic someone replied uh oh this from uh oh this reminds me of

when I went for my smear a few years ago I was going straight from work so I bought some wipes to freshen down there and what I thought was some fem fresh spray I got in from my appointment the nurse went oh and I was like is there something wrong and she said no no

no it's okay I didn't realise until I got up off the bed that there was a shitload of glitter where my ass had been I picked up my niece's glitter hair spray she thought it was fem fresh Wait, what is the birthday again? Oh. No, no.

No. Oh, it's okay. Oh. What a surprise. What a surprise. Look at my sparkly pubs. Oh my God. That's so fun.

My dazzling fanny. Yeah, that's just a for jazzle. Another one. Oh, bless her. Once went for a facial. It was lovely. Dozed off because I was so relaxed. I can't hear that term anymore after what we heard a couple of weeks back.

About the. from our lovely just face list. Yeah, who we've identified. We have, but for her own protection, we're keeping her in honour. She's gorgeous, I said to you, I was just like, with a face like that, it's just, it's so sad to see it being jist off.

So, once went for a facial, different kind of facial, more traditional facial, it was lovely, I dozed off because I was so relaxed. When the beauty therapist moved around the treatment bench, she then changed where on my face she was touching me. This jolted me awake, and I backhanded her. her in the face, mortified, worse, but was hearing her outside the door after I was telling her colleague she'd just been smacked in the face and hearing them all wet themselves laughing.

Oh my God. Okay. About five, another one, sorry. About five years ago when I was in uni, my friends and I went to the sexual health clinic for a checkup, well done. When we arrived, I walked up to the receptionist who asked if I was a walk in. And I said to her, no, I drove here to me. she replied, no, I mean, do you have an appointment or are you a walk in? Absolutely mortifying.

My friends have never let me live it down. Oh, you know what? These are the things that people hold on so tightly too, but that person won't have thought anything of it. Well, and apart from thinking like, you're an idiot momentarily. But then you get over it, super quick. This is very cathartic, this process. I enjoy it. It makes me very happy. It's good, isn't it? It's good. Yeah, hearing other people, I'm just like, okay, that's not so bad. And then I think, but it's really bad to that person. And then I think all those things that I do, that are really bad for me, but they're not that bad. When you say it out loud, it's good.

I enjoy it. Keep going. It's a therapy. Did you know all our glamping units have a resort, quality, Canadian-made, and eco-friendly bed? Since day one, we have proudly partnered with Kelowna-based mattress company Haven, ensuring you have the best sleep possible. So it's just one more reason to visit us in the Boreal Forest. You can also try out a Haven mattress risk-free for 100 nights at Havenmatress.ca. okay okay we got two more oh this reminds me oh okay okay I'll say okay so it was actually my friend Gila who who sent me this this is reminded me that in high school I went to

knock on the staff room door and I wasn't looking for a moment I knocked on a teacher's head which is absolutely brilliant made me piss myself so I've shared this some of us imagine Corredaic. That's so good. Seven replied, this reminds me. In year seven, we went dry ski, slope skiing, and I was bloody rubbish. The teacher was next to me, and I reached out to grab him because I was falling, and I pulled his to-pay off. Both of us staring at each other.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Both of us staring at each other while going downhill really fast. I'm 41 now. Bear in mind she would have been 11 at the time. No, 12. I'm 41 now and I still think about it. Obviously you do. That will haunt you until the day that you die.

You pulled his toupee off and you continue to hurtle down the mountain together. Oh my God, when do you give it? This is so good. Last one. Okay, I'll collect that's so good. I have so many thoughts about two pays. Anyway, carry on. A screenshot of a girl's interaction with her dad.

It's cut off, it's cut off before this, but I presume, he said you owe me 500 pounds because then it goes on she says i know i do i'll send you the 500 pounds when i get laid and he replied laid and she said i meant paid oh that's so good bell funny when i get laid um so yeah you are not getting paid until i get mine that's pretty much it but i just enjoy it so much it's just so much it's just so brilliant. Okay, I have more listener questions, but just on a personal level, you've already seen it, but I'm going to show you again. Is it just me that this happens to? So M is wearing, is this, is this, is this, is this the viral skims dress or just one of the

skim's dresses? This is one of the viret. So the viral skim's dresses, I think it's the one with like spaghetti sleeves, you know, the strap strapping dress. This is the long sleeve one. So I'm going to stand up and show you. Cute though, it's really cute It's good I mean like fuck I wouldn't want to wear it not pregnant because it clings to everything Like it's okay

When you're like you know like now It's like well okay But I can't imagine I'd be that comfortable in this Afterwards but we'll see But anyway It's sorry hang out of breath from that Massive walk It's light grey

And I just can't wear things I bought two I bought one in light grey And one in black because Tanya Burr who is also pregnant put on Instagram that she was wearing it loads in her pregnancy and I was like, perfect. I just needed something that's like basically super stretchy that can get me to the end

and I don't know how pregnant she is but she's looking like like she's got a pretty size of a human in there. So I figured it was a good idea and I am happy with it but I'm just, I'm sweating under my boobs and under my arms and it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing.

Why is this happening? Well, it is a really light grey. There is literally no room to sweat in that dress. Does that mean that Kim Kardashian et al just never sweat? Yeah, well she'll have Botox and in her armpits

so she doesn't sweat. And what about under a boot? Probably there too. I could probably guarantee that literally she has Botox like all over, wherever she has sweat guns to stop the sweat.

Or you can have sweat guns microwaved off. Microwave probably isn't the correct term, but it's approved by the FDA. No, I don't think that sounds right. It's approved by the FDA. It's like a, it's a, it's a procedure where you, yeah, you have, I think it is microwaves.

They literally like microwave away the sweat glands, so then they're gone. Wow. So yeah, for people with... Okay, so... Yeah. Yeah, right, well, I'm not going to do that. So she probably has that. So I guess I just have to stay.

I don't really know what to do because it's, there's no time. I was thinking about there's no time of year that this is good to wear because in winter when you wear it, you are wearing it. jackets and warm coats and then you wear the warm coats inside when you go inside then you start sweating so then you're sweating in this dress or you wear it in the summertime but then it's hot so you're sweating so you're sweating in this dress so basically i can't i not sweat in this dress and you know where i'm going later i'm going to a quiz and you know what that is stressful and you know what happens when i get stressed i get sweaty so

I mean if you've got a jacket over it or you could wear like a yeah I don't know a shacket or a jacket or like a denim shirt or like a checked shirt or something I don't know it spoils the vibe I guess but it's not you know I know I have to say though I am really I am so

not offended or upset at seeing stretch marks sweat patches like at all they don't bother me at all are you not no I don't find it offensive Like if someone smells Then that's a bit gross But like I just seeing the sweat patches I'm just I don't even really

Yeah I just don't know I don't find them offensive That makes me happy Because I always have sweat patches When I'm with you So that's a relief to be honest I don't I don't really sweat It's weird

I don't really sweat I mean I'm so sad for you Poor owl I smell But I don't sweat You see I don't smell Like I'm not a smelly person

But I'm also like a prolific Like I'm very scared to smell I have like a phobia of smell So, sweaty as I'll get, I'll never smell, because that just fills me with the absolute fear. Good for you. Thank you. I, yeah, I've got, like, glittery vagina written all over me.

You do, don't you? Like, that's the sort of thing that I would do in a desperate move, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. I had to go and have a, I had to have my cervix measured the other day, which is invasive, just in case you're wondering. Okay. So you get a nice, like, I don't even know, metal, plastic.

knob-shaped thing basically shoved up your badge and I just got like so... And I know I'm going to have to get to grips with this because that is the exit for the life form inside of me but I'm so self-conscious about my fanny

when I like haven't had it out in a while. I haven't had it out. I don't know. Like I think sometimes you can get in like the swing of stuff but I just am feeling a bit like oh god it's going to be like right there, right there. I remember I had all those scans.

It's a transvaginal one, isn't it? And it was when I had my marina coil, but I started to bleed. So they were like, we need to do a scan, just a check. And so they'd given me instructions, but they've given me the wrong ones. They're giving me pelvic scan instructions. And on the pelvic scan ones, it said,

arrive with like a full, full bladder, like drink a liter of water beforehand and don't go to the toilet because it needs to be like you I don't know it needs to like expand so they can see everything or whatever because because ultrasound does it by bouncing off liquid like it's a sound thing so when when you're early pregnant you have to have a full bladder when you go for your scans because they you need yeah turns out I have a very very big bladder my blood is too big so I don't need to have a full bladder but it really helps for them to see everything clearly if you've got if your womb is empty basically if your womb is small then you need a full bladder

so that you can get a clear picture of the womb well I have to school day out receive these instructions and you know I follow instructions to the tea so I was burst I was literally bursting I was waiting for my appointment like I can't do this can't do this can't do this but I've got to do this because I've got to have a full bladder and I can't let a little bit out because if I let a little bit out, it'll all come out. So I went in, and then it was the transvaginal one. And I was like, I was like, I can't do this. Take it out. Take out. Take out. Take out. And she was like, what's wrong?

I was like, I need the toilet so bad. I need the toilet so bad. And she was like, gosh, your plaza is very full. And I was like, yes, you told me. She was like, no, that's the wrong one. But I was so close to just, it was, I was about to burst all over the thing. That would have been of all of the things in this life, peeing on the transvaginal probe would probably have been the most embarrassing thing you could have done. I would fully support like a name change in country relocation. I don't know if this is anatomically correct, but I think it is that they literally,

with the transvaginal scan, the probe touches your bladder, like it pokes it. What? I do not think that's true. Okay. Disregard that maybe if it's not true. I don't know. I believe it is true. And it was poking it. It was poking my bladder. Let's go through this. Let's go through this. Let's work it. What happens at the top of your vagina? Syvex.

If you say your bladder, then we're going to happen. What's above the cervix? The womb. See what's above the cervix? Yes. So how is it reaching the bladder? Look, I stand strong on this one. Okay, fine.

Do you want to know something really embarrassing? I think I might have told you this, but I feel like does the listen and want to know something really embarrassing. Okay, so about my full bladder thing, when I went for one of my early scans, my bladder was twofold because I have a very big bladder, and it was very painful, and it was obstructing the view of the baby

because my bladder is so full. So the very nice doctor, sonog-ssonographer, sonographer was like, it's okay, you can go to the loo. I was like, thank you so much, so I went to the loo. And then I came back from the loo, and I didn't realize this, that when you enter your bladder, your bladder disappears. So your bladder goes to the size of, like a pee.

Like, it's like a water balloon, or like just a normal balloon that you fill with water, so it gets super big. but when it's empty, it's gone. So there's just a space where your bladder was. And you know what's behind your bladder? Your bowel. So the ultrasound was showing us this, like, amazing thing

of like our little girl, our firstborn, our daughter, this miracle. And then in the top right of the sonograph image, I could just see this like chug, chug, chug, chug of this like substance. Oh my God. And it's like we could all fucking see it. We could all fucking see it. And then the sonographer was like, there's your breakfast.

Oh, no. Oh my God, is your breakfast? I said, nah. It's like, that is such a diplomatic way of telling me that's my shit. How's your breakfast? It was so embarrassing. I've been with Alex for like 10 years, and I genuinely nothing embarrasses me,

but still I was like, don't look at my shit. Oh my God, that's really great. You do not need to see how I make this. I mean, on a personal level, very impressive. It was like looking at like a conveyor belt of like chug, chug, chug, chug, of like little bits to make like a poo. So it was pretty cool when you remove the fact that it's like, my poo. And you're there to see like the miracle of new life and all I can actually see is just like my shit. So that was nice.

Gorgeous. It's been, it's been a beautiful experience, start to finish. Love it. What is you, what does you find from your Googling? Does the transvaginal probe nudge the bladder? I don't, look, I don't know. I don't know. I do.

I don't know. I don't know. There's too many words. I can't do it. Can someone just tell us? Yeah, I'm telling you. Okay, fine. It hits, I believe you.

It hits the cervix. Okay, good. Okay, no bladder. I have something to make everybody feel better here. Do you remember a couple of weeks back we shared on is it just me about the girl whose car rolled down the hill? Yeah. Because she'd forgotten the handbrake on because she hadn't followed Alex's five rules of completing a drive. We need to add a sixth rule because I keep living the windows of my car open and somebody sent me a DM being like someone needs to tell Alex

to add another rule. So if you could organise that, that would be good. Um, anyway, hi guys, love the podcast. I've just listened to the story about runaway cars and reminded me of a memory I had buried. I got home from work one day a few years ago. A stressful day was in a bit of a mood so ran into the house and poured myself a very generous glass of wine. About 15 minutes later, I had a call from an unknown number which I obviously ignored because who answers those. And then received a voicemail. I listened to it. Now, sorry, who cannot answer the phone but then can listen to a voicemail?

Like, that's unbelievable. I've got like 100 on read voice, unistened voicemails. Oh my God, I would much rather listen to a voicemail than... No, no, no, no, no, no, I don't want to hear it. It's in the same category as post for me. Anyway, she listened to it, because she's brave, and it was the police who were calling to inform me that a car register to my name had been found abandoned

on insert name street, and could I please attend the scene? So I legged it out my front door round the corner to where I parked my car, no cars be seen. I thought, shit, where's my car? car. I ran along the road, no sign, turned the corner onto the main road, no immediate sign and then in the distance, halfway down the hill, I spied my car, parked across the middle of the road, crashed into a car which had subsequently rolled into the car in front of it, with a woman standing next to it looking confused and asking, is this your car? I had to admit my shame that

yes, it was, and a moment later the police arrived. I immediately thought, oh my God, they're going to smell my large glass of wine off me, think I've had some kind of drink driving catastrophe, but luckily the door was locked, so I was innocent on that front. But through the glass, I could see the handbrake wisting in its, I'm not on position, and I could feel the blood drained from me. The police and was very jolly and was so distracted along with half the neighbours along the street by trying to understand how it had ended up so far from its original parking space, around a corner and down a hill that nobody noticed when I opened my door

and definitely pulled up the handbrake further adding to the poor man's confusion. where, oh, she's tampered with evidence. I love it. Further out into the poor man's confusion when he had to assume the mechanism must have failed. What a sneaky, beaky. I like it. Lying to the authorities, not my finest moment.

But as there was miraculously very little damage done in what could have been an entirely catastrophic situation, I, in the moment, decided the shame of having not put my handbrake on and causing the whole street to come for a nosy was much too much to bear, so here we are, paid for the wider damage that was done. Policeman got an exciting evening out and I returned home to deal with the panic voicemail

from my mother who had received a phone call from the police reporting my abandoned car as it was still registered to her address and I'd moved out long before. Needless to say, another large glass of wine was needed. So the moral of the story is cars can run away downhills if you don't put your hair brakes on.

Thank you. Oh my God. How do you get around the corner? Bloody hell. Imagine seeing a car just driving itself round the corner down hill. That really does give me anxiety, you know, because I'm so scared of it.

It could have gone incredibly badly. It could have gone so badly. That's the thing. So badly. I love it when things could go terribly and they don't. Do you know what I mean? When it's like, whoa, like that could have been horrendous and then it just wasn't. Love that.

Humbly. Well, yeah. I love that it didn't end up terrible. I'm just sitting here wondering how many people are now implementing my five-step routine. I'm still on that, by the way. I had that one down, but I am going to need one for myself, because this window thing's not good. It keeps happening.

I've done it like three times. Oh, and Sarah got her car was broken into last week. I saw that. That's so bad. I know. I know. And how unfair, because I lived a few streets away, and they could have just come and got into my car through the window.

Literally. Yeah, they could have just had mine, window wide open. And it were like free, you could have just climbed straight through and taken it wherever you wanted. But idiots. Idiots. They've got a bat and smashed hers in. idiot do they not know how careless I am with my windows and personal safety

you've got to shop around guys come on a hundred percent do not steal the first car you see absolutely no idiot amateur hour I want that on a fridge magnet do not steal the first car you see yes be more clever yeah think big think big okay um well this has been nice Yeah, this has been fun, actually.

Yeah, put your handbrake on and, um, check your washing machine only three quarters through. Never trust your washing machine. This is going, no, always trust your washing machine. Why would you not trust your washing machine? I just don't understand. I suspect. Well, you've got no reason to doubt it. When this episode comes out, I am going to be watching out on my DMs because I suspect I will, I will have a lot of support here.

I would wager a bet that you don't have that much. Okay, we'll, we'll see. Okay. and I'm going to screenshot every piece of support and put it in a folder for you, okay? I'm going to put it in a malinilla folder. I don't even know what that is, but I keep hearing people say it.

A manila folder? I don't know. I don't know if it's an American thing, but I just keep hearing it. I really have wanted to use it for a long time, and now I just have, so there you go. Manila. I'm going to compile all the evidence.

Thank you all so much for listening. Okay. There's no one here. There's no one left. Thank you so much missing. Crickets. They've all gone home. Fair enough. Well, just for the archive, let the record state, we will be back on Monday. And we love you all.

Lots of love. That's sad, Al. That's very sad, isn't it? There's no one. There's no one. Don't say, just... Okay. Well, bye, M. It's been really nice to chat. I'll speak to you soon. Bye, Al. Yeah, have a nice evening. Bye.

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