Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Toolbox surprise

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

In this week’s Is It Just Me? Em rapid fires embarrassing stories at Al, airing all your dirty laundry from pantyhose nightmares to period pad hell...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm so excited to start this because I've had an idea. I think it's time we rebrand. Entirely. Okay. Because I realize that women with microphones is one thing, but men with microphones is great. Absolutely. So I saw a video on TikTok this week.

And I just thought the content that this guy is putting out It's something that I think It's something that we should just think about Go on So I'm just going to play you This is he's speaking It's a video He is definitely giving it a lot with his face

Okay But he's speaking into a podcast microphone So I assume that the original purpose of this Was audio form Okay So enjoy this Ladies I have a serious question for you

Is it weird that I don't want you to kiss me Unless you kiss me passionately I don't know why always been like this though like i don't want those quick pecks i don't know they they always make me feel like i'm just not loved and appreciated but when you take the time to kiss me passionately makes me feel loved it makes me feel like you genuinely want to spend that moment with me that you're not in a rush and then no matter the time no matter the day we will always have that passion i don't know i see so many other people just giving quick kisses all the time and that's what they like

not me so what do you think that's a spoof right no no it's got to be a spoof it's got to be no it's not it isn't and that's how we are going I just want to did he put the music behind that Daisy I don't know how you feel about this but I would like a piano brought into the studio

so that when we ask questions someone could be Al could be on the piano playing something melodic do if that's a word so he put that music behind it and that was all very serious Nothing tongue-in-cheeked.

I need to ask him how he feels about his grandma. It's not satire. If he's only, only wants, he doesn't want a pecky, only wants a passionate kiss. His Nand does not let him round his house anymore. So, so, okay, that's disgusting. Okay, so there's an account, right, called Fave TikToks 420 on Instagram.

Sounds good. And it's genuinely the single greatest account ever. And it just pulls the cringiest, most unbelievable, videos from TikTok but it's like I don't understand there's this whole subgenre of like men making first traps yeah oh my god all this account is so I die um so TikTok is full of this I don't understand it but it's men just like looking at the screen and looking their lips or biting their bottom lip yes and like thrusting at the camera so the video I just showed M is a man And literally, he's, he's like, he's like lent over the screen as if the screen is his, is

nothing is his partner. Follow Fave TikTok 420 on Instagram. It's all of that. It's, it's a whole thing. And I just think it's doing them very well. And I just don't think we should rule that out for ourselves. So I'm just putting in a request or a piano. A piano.

Okay. I just think, imagine how profound everything would sound if we just put music. I have a question. Like, Al, I just, like, am I, like, yeah, anything. It just sounds like that's something that could just easily be done. I'm sure there's a studio with a piano from my London. Perfect. Yeah, men should not be allowed microphones, you're right?

No. Like, I just... Gross. Yeah, it doesn't mean that we don't, it doesn't mean that men can't have a platform or a voice. It's just, it's a very specific subgenrepanor of men with microphones. Yeah. Joe Rogan.

They seem to be the artist. Yeah, well, microphones do famous. do that like all these TikTokers I don't know I just I find it very

stressful I tell you what it is maybe it's because women need microphones to be to be the same volume as men men are already heard

so we don't need to give them a microphone we can already hear them anyway haven't is it just me I just went to Lou

before we started recording you know when you go to the Lou and there's like a big circle thing that's home toward the Lou Roll

yeah like a big circle like a big metal case for the Lou Roll I know what you mean and there there's no loo roll sticking out the bottom.

Yeah. But then there is a full loo roll in there. Yeah. So you have to put your hand up. Yeah. And just swipe it along until you can find the end of the loo roll. Yeah. Is it just me that does that like 15 times?

Like I was actually just there squatting. Like a wheel of fortune. Yeah. Just fucking down the bingo. Just rolling and rolling and rolling and rolling. It's many ages to get it. Yeah, I don't like that. No.

I'm developing a real problem with public toilets and I need to stop it because it's getting too much. I'm like give myself a challenge where I do. don't touch anything. What do you mean? I start to freak myself out of your trousers, just like, shoo no, I can touch myself.

But don't touch anything in the toilet, you know. Okay. And I don't know, I feel like I just need to knit that in the bud. I'm just, yeah. I really know of the day. Yeah,

that's nice. That's lovely. I mean, in here, the sinks are in the bathroom. So it's quite useful. The sinks are in the cubicle. but you don't like that because you don't like opening the door after

you've washed your hands no no but what I always do is I just get a little bit toilet paper just a little bit and then open it with that that's assuming that there is toilet paper available and you haven't got to put your hand into the wheel of fortune and spin spin spin on the look at yeah

so it's not just me good to clear that up it's a nightmare yeah fine okay I haven't is it just me hello beautiful podcasting gang oh thanks hi the lift I needed today um first of all like everyone else i'm oh i'm in love with your podcast and i listen to a wee chunk

every morning on my way to work i'm running out of backlog to work through so i'm having to rush out your new episodes i hate that when it happens with like tv series or podcast and then you're stuck live yeah i hate that like i won't watch a tv series if it's coming out week by week until it's all done and then i can't bend it you are the most impatient person i think i know i just can't bear that i just can't bear it so speaking of which i've just finished your wonderful summer sarah interview and as always i'm very impressed but there was a part of it where m asked about whether girls ever share dickpicks non-consensually that really made me think as a woman i've been shown countless dick picks usually by other women the usual thing that happens is someone gets sent an unsolicited

picture that they don't want and passes it around all their friends so we can all laugh at it together is it just me and my friend group who experienced this i've always felt really weird and uncomfortable when i'm shown another guy's dickpicks not just because i have no wish to see them but because i know they didn't consent to show me. I get it. Sometimes it's funny. One of my friends was sexting with a guy and she asked him to prove that he was only talking to her. So he wrote her name on his penis

with a Sharpie. A sharpie seems excessive. Because imagine scrubbing that off. I am distressed. Do it in a highlighter? Yeah. That'll come off or a gel pen. I'll be a bit spiky actually. Highlighter safer.

Which, yeah, was a funny picture. But in that case, he definitely thought he was creating an intimate moment between the two of them, showing her that he was exclusively hers. This isn't some guy sending pictures to every girl's DMs. He was proving right there that he only sends dick pics to my one friend. So how come it's okay for her to share those private pictures that he's chosen to trust her with during a mutual sexting session? As I say, I don't know how common this is, but I know that it's prevalent among my friends too,

and I imagine it goes far beyond that. Is it just me who thinks that this is just as bad as guys sharing our nudes? Is it different when it's an unsolicited pick versus one that, a woman has explicitly asked for and consented to receive. Do those pictures deserve more respect? How should I call out my friends when they share them? I don't know, guys.

Help her, help her out. This is written by rabbit. Sorry, I completely misread that. I don't know, guys. Help a girl out. Okay, I have some thoughts. Hit me. So, first of all, it's actually really made me question myself.

I have been sent a lot of unsolicited dickpicks. Um, there is one that I do show people. And actually, maybe I need to think more about doing that. It's just extraordinary. He, this person, but it did put the fear of death in me. Honestly, it was like, it was just a lot. And his bum hole was so big. Oh my God.

A bum hole? How did you get that in a dick pick? He was like sitting on his bathroom floor with his knees up. And his bum hole just at the beginning of a tunnel. It was unbelievable. And then he had like a full erection. And I remember getting it on a train. And I think it was that thing of like being so.

shocked at something that I'd seen and I was on the train I was on a train to Holland with my sister Was it DM? Yeah he Instagram DMed it and I was so shocked and you know when you see something bad or like you do something bad or you feel something bad and you have to like show somebody else to like make it less bad because I think sometimes when something happens on your phone

it can feel really like scary and I was like and then I was like I need to like make this a joke or like make this something else so I showed it to Katia and she was like oh my god ha ha ha and then it did take the like fear element out of it for me and it just became like funny. Does that make sense? Yeah, totally. Because it was sinister and then it was funny.

But then I'm definitely like body shaming his bumhole, so I don't feel great about that. But then also he shouldn't have like sent me a photo of his bumhole because that's a lot. Yeah, it might be wrong. And I'm like processing it literally as we talk about it. But I think to me there's a big difference between someone non-consensually sending you a picture

and then you sharing that on. Between someone consensually, you know, something more intimate and like personal and there's like a relationship between the two people. Yeah. And then sharing that then feels very... Yeah, like, Sharpie Dick. Like, I don't think that should have been shared

because that does feel like he... It was a consensual and, like, tender moment. And that kind of is sex. That's exactly what someone was saying in the last episode. It's like, or a couple of weeks ago. That is what, like, sex is to a lot of people online or whatever. So, like, yes, I think that's a violation. But I think the fundamental difference for me

between the sharing of men's images and the sharing of women is always the same. And it's the same actually for when anybody suggests that we roll reverse, right? A lot of times you see videos on TikTok or things on Twitter or whatever. And people say, well, imagine if the roles are reversed. And it's like, we can't imagine a world where this is backwards, okay? But there is no world in which anything can be properly reversed because you have the background knowledge that men, because of the patriarchy, hold power

and women are shrouded in shame. So ultimately it's never the same because for a woman's nude to be released is enough. to get her fired, get her kicked out of school, and genuinely permanently changed the way people view her. Like, it is enough. A sex tape or a photo of a woman, like you can do great like Kim Kardashian did, but for most people, it sends them underground

and it is a huge detriment to their life into career. Men's dick picks, I do not believe it's the same thing. It's lads, it's funny, it's just a dick, whatever. They're not sluts, they're not shamed, they're not whatever. Whereas when women do anything like that, they get branded branded with a word and that's something that will follow them forever

and I'm not saying that doesn't ever happen to men but it's much more likely to happen to women whereas men there's a difference between knowing that a guy's sleazy and thinking that a woman's a slut because that's the way we talk about it if a man's at a dick pick we'd go and just when I say the word slot

I don't mean I actually think women that send nudes a slots I'm just saying that I don't think anybody's like, I hate that word, but I think it's just this gendered thing that comes when women do anything with avert sexualisation, even if they're sexualised without their consent. Like it's just something that they just get branded as or described as, and it's so fucking annoying.

But that's just the way that it happens. A man sends us a nude, and normally people would find it funny, but maybe they'd think he was sleazy, but a woman did it. It would definitely not be funny. And no one would use the word sleazy. they'd use the word slatter, or shameful or dirty or bad.

And so it's enough to completely follow her forever. So that's what I think the difference is. It doesn't make it right to necessarily share men's, but that's the societal difference as far as I think. And I do think, like, coming back to that question, I do, for me, morally, there is a big difference. If you're sent something that you didn't give consent for receiving, then I don't think you have a moral obligation to know.

not share that photo i think then you can do with it whatever you want yeah it's landed into it's literally landed and you're like you didn't ask right you didn't buy it you didn't there's no there's no contract or obligation on your part whereas if it's yeah if it's like but to be honest with you like i don't think that's ever happened where i don't at least with my friends it's never happened where someone's been in a relationship with someone and they've shared a dick pick or a nude that the guy has sent them like that's but i would find that icky because i'd be

Like, you don't show me that. That's a person. I don't, like, don't show me that. It's happened with celebs. Do you remember when Orlando Bloom was naked on the paddleboard? And then Alex Bowen, I think it's son-in-ness, from that season two, Love Island. And Joel Dommett? Oh, have you seen Joel Doppets, Willie?

I don't think I actually saw it. Because I've seen Orlando's and Alex's because people send them around. Oddly, it's men that send those around. Why, what's wrong with Jol's? I don't know. I just haven't seen it. Oh, no, I just haven't seen it. I think he took a video.

But, yeah, I mean, I got, I got airdropped and nude on the tube ones. So, dick click on the tube ones. My own fault for receiving it, but... No, it's not. No, it's not. No. Bullshit. I'm annoyed at myself for accepting it because I should have known.

But I was also like, what is it? I was just a bit confused. And then, yeah. And I know that they wanted a reaction out of me because it was someone in the carriage. Yeah, people get off on watching you be, like, embarrassed. I'm ashamed. Shocked. Yeah.

Gross. But to this, to this. To this girl, yeah, that's where I stand on it. But I do think, I think just as, just as, yeah, it just, it feels wrong on all levels, wrong of the person to then show around a dick pick that's come from like a more personal private thing. Yeah, I think if it's come from somebody that you, or if it's come from an ex, I think if the message was sent with love or good intentions or trust, I think if there was trust there, then you do have a responsibility.

Yeah. It's actually so interesting to think this because, like, how many of us have, I mean, this is like the whole crux, we need to talk to someone about revenge porn because this is like the whole crux of that whole thing. It's like you send something, something that you trust and the relationship breaks down and it's like that, you have that in the back of your mind forever. And the thing that, and I do think it's more serious for women because I just know that it just is, you know, the associations for women,

for women are worse. But it doesn't make it right for men when they're sent in trust. And I think it's a good thing for us. to explore things like this, isn't it? Yeah. It's a good thing for us to explore the nuances of this. True. I don't like it when it's just like flat out.

Like, well, imagine if it was the other way around. Right, exactly. But it's good to test where you stand on stuff like this and where your morals lie on things like this. So I think it's good to like, yeah, question it. Yeah. I'm going to completely like spin us round. Spin us round.

You might have seen, I'm actually going to completely ignore the probably amazing messages that Amy sent because you might have known that seen on my Instagram this week. I've been doing embarrassing stories. Yes. I saved some of my favorites. for it. Oh my God, yes. Not for Instagram. Just for you. Hit me. So I can't remember which ones I've read. Hang on me. I'm so in the mood for an embarrassing story. I've got so many. Okay. And I think I'm just going to just like, just like, punch you in the face with a few

of them. Okay. Okay. Um, I'm ready. Okay. This reminded me of you. Okay. This just was you. I had passed my driving test a week or so ago and was leaving the shopping center. I pulled up to the junction and a policeman pulls up next to me in gestures to put down my window. He asks, Are you okay? I confidently reply, yes. His reply, because you're on the wrong side of the road. I was like, well, if that is an Alex like, but I don't know what it is. Okay.

Wait, is that it? Yeah, that's it. Why was she on the wrong side of the road? Because she's forgotten how to drive. Oh, my God. I'd been dating a guy for a few weeks. It was the first time I'd stayed at his, and I went for a shower the next morning. I flicked my head down to put a towel around my hair,

but misjudged the distance between me. me in the sink and her butted it knocking myself out so the first time I met his mum I was naked and unconscious he didn't even have the decency

to cover me with a towel before shouting for it to come up how embarrassing how embarrassing that's next level but you knock yourself out and you're naked so bad

and he didn't cover you up I know what a dick oh what a dick okay I've got so many of these honestly you're not giving me much space for like, okay, can't carry on. No, just be embarrassed.

Just be embarrassed, okay. Oh, this is just so, this is so something weird do. Okay, so this isn't my embarrassing story, but it's my best friends. I have permission to share it. We were both quite introverted as teenagers, so it hit her really hard. She was visiting another girl from school's house, and while she was there, her friend's auntie that she'd never met before popped in to visit the family. This friend had a sister.

That's important. It was coming up to Easter, and this auntie dropped off two Easter eggs and two packets of sweets. my friend full of manners thanked her for the sweets she was then told no they were for the girl and her sister

in front of the whole family how cruel is that that's cool we die of embarrassment every time she remembers the story she never got invited back to that house that's not her

that's not her full I know isn't that that's not her if I was the aunt I would have been like you're welcome gone out and got another Easter egg but the sister

you can't do that that's not for you all said to whatever, like, sorry, you just don't get one to day. That's so mean. So mean. Okay, so there's just somebody else. This is someone else trying to be cool.

So first day at a job in the city. I'm talking pencil skirt, white shirt, new tights, the works. I get on the tube after my first day and there's even a seat despite the pack carriage. Winner. I sit down and as I do, my tights literally roll all the way down to my ankles, forming a figure of of shame, kind of mortifying enough, but I also had a pair of pants on top of the tights that were clean and just being used as a completely useless buffer to stop them rolling down. So I just had to take off my shoes and pull my tight over my and over knickers off my feet

and pop them in my bag, was so mortified as I'd have to get off at the next stop. How bad? Wait, so her tights were just really rolling down. It must have been. Just shot all the way down. I'm imagining, like, sheer ones, like something granny's... So her knickers were out? Yeah, but she was wearing spare knicks to try and keep her tights up. Oh, so her real knickers didn't come off, but her real knickers were still off. The confusion of the people on that carriage. Like, what is going on?

This one just made me laugh because it was just general confusion. She said, this is bad and I've genuinely never told anyone. Freshest week at uni, I was embracing all that uni had to offer, mostly random boys on nights out. And I hooked up with one really cute guy, very tight. Tong DeLone from Blink 182. On the way back to his halls, really not that far at all from the Student Union,

I started to need a wee. Then it became urgent. He was a bit confused as I was begging him to hurry up and had him running through the halls to his room. I finally got to his room about a second too late and I'd started to wee myself. Without telling him, I just went into the loo and finished my wee, hoping he was too drunk to notice.

I then decided that my best bet was to have a bit of a snog and then get out of their ASAP saying that I felt sick. But for some completely unknown reason, I came out of the loo and told him I'd taken drugs. I still to this day, I don't know why I did it. And it was such a stupid lie because I didn't know what to say when he asked which drug. So I just said something someone's given me. So what could and unnecessary. So she just came out of the loo and was like, sorry, I can't stay.

I've taken drugs. I have to leave. That is an extra excuse. That is an unnecessary excuse. Just say you peed yourself. I love that in work. Oh, sorry, guys, I'm going to have to go home. I've taken drugs.

What drugs? I don't know. Oh, my God, this is so bad. Okay, you ready? At the local co-op, my partner was scanning our shop through on the self-scan machines. I nipped off to pick up some last-minute sweets and ran back to find him before he'd finished so we weren't holding up a queue because it was very busy.

I ran back and scanned my sweets through, looked up at my partner and realised it wasn't him. Just a random man with a similar coach. My partner was literally on the checkout next to me, staring in disbelief. Naturally, it was when there was no staff in the shop at all, and we had to wait for what felt like forever for someone to void my expensive sweets off this man's shop. I couldn't show my face in the co-op for a week. That's really embarrassing.

That poor man, like, what is going on? Well, have you done this? I think this is one of my favourites. I've got two more, I think. I just can't stop. I just can't stop reading them. They're just so funny. I was out with my mom a couple of years ago

wearing a super cute play suit. We got the bus home, but I was absolutely desperate for a wee. And the play suit had a zip, tie and tiny button at the back, which made needing a quick exit for going to the toilet virtually impossible. So as we got off the bus

and walked the short distance up the road to our house, I asked my mum to undo the fiddly button so I could rush in and go to the toilet and only have to deal with the zip and tie. Right. Only she misunderstood and undid the whole thing. What happened next was like a cartoon.

I dropped my phone and so bent to pick down, bent down to pick it up. At that point, my play suit fell down around my ankles. And in the puddle of fabric, my mom did the loudest sneeze ever, which made me jump. And that was a drop in the ocean of my bladder that broke the dam. I stood there in the street wearing only my knickers and a two-size-small, two-braw, weeing the biggest we of my life she just said at the end

the only consolation was that my mum found it's so funny she also wet herself turns out pelvic floor is something we both need to work on

and then speaking of iconic mums I think I had one more for you machine gunned is that me I love it sorry then you can have a break I slept with my new boyfriend

who took me back to his home which was basically in Renault there was no furniture or lights So we were getting intimate together on the living room floor. I had a pad in my pants but didn't want him to feel it. So I slipped it out and placed it in what I thought drunkenly was a bin. I had told him the next morning already horrified at what I'd done to empty the bin. He told me he didn't have a bin.

I had put my dirty pad in his toolbox. I lived miles away and had already started making the journey home. So I had to send my mum and auntie to his house to get my pad out of his toolbox for me because I was so embarrassed. Wait, she sent her mum and her auntie. To go and get her dirty pad out of this man's toolbox. So what?

They just turned up and knocked on this guy's door. Yes. How amazing. I know. Possibly more embarrassing about actually being there in the first place. Arguably, yeah. Oh my god, yeah, mum, go meet the guy I'm sleeping with.

Are my auntie? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. I think that's more embarrassing. Yeah, how do I want to know. how that phone call went so badly. And then I've just swiped, to be honest, I've just swiped something

and I don't even know why I have this as a screen grab but it's a Google question saying how far can the human anus stretch? And the answer, the human anus can stretch up to seven inches before taking damage. A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as four inches, meaning you can take almost two full raccoons

up your bum. No. Hashtag the more you know. inches. Actually chunky. I think you could put a dick up it sideways. Well, yeah. Preferably smaller. Yeah, obviously. Also, not anatomically possible, but... A severed.

If you are that way inclined, you could theoretically put a severed dick sideways up you really. I mean, up your bum. Oh, severed, you said. Oh, my God, that's horrible. That's really good. through me yeah fair enough sorry for taking us there i really feel like i've taken this on a journey there embarrassment embarrassment embarrassment embarrassment embarrassment two raccoons up the ass severed dick sideways i have a lot of whiplash my nervous system is a bit shocked fair enough um if you had to have an animal up your bum what would you have if i had what an animal no okay funny you end of a vegetable um a carrot

because they go from small to big don't know it's kind of actually It's kind of perfect, if you think about it. Quite thin. Yeah. Go from small to big. Yeah. I see celery's thinner. Spring onion.

Spring onions, that's what I'd want. They're super bendy. You just don't want it to snap. Yeah, you would never get it in. You'd be fine. Spring onions are the long ones. What are you thinking of? Spring onions.

Yeah, but like, it's too bendy you wouldn't get it in, would you? That's true. That's true. You might have more success with a carrot. I don't know. I feel like carrots where I'm at right now. Interesting. Wow.

That conversation took a turn and I enjoyed it. Good. Yeah, I think free, you'd have to go for a banana. I think anything else is too soft. Or too big. Can't put a grape up there. I think it would just go like squelch. Yeah.

For what purpose are we putting things up there, though? Just to see if you could. Then grape. Blueberry. Easy. easy done I'll do it now

oh my god I've got please do you want one absolutely not I'm fine thank you I think it would slip right up I don't think you

have any problem okay I have a story one that will haunt me because I'm terrified of doing this like actually terrified of doing this

hi obviously love the pod and all of you everything you do is incredible and you are changing lives she put in brackets obviously can't

not do a complimentary intro I thought she was going to be Like, I mean, not like a break and surge and change his lives, but also like, I love that we've set it up so now that every email has to start with that. Tragic, isn't it? I'm pleased about it. So here I am living my best adult life, teaching my partner how to drill a hole in the wall to put up a picture in our new house.

I've got my shit together. Also, I thought. A knock at our front door. A woman who I have never met asks me if I have a red car. I say yes. She points to the red car, my car that has rolled several meters down our street. into a fence. I say,

shit. Then I have to run down the street to retrieve my car while people drive by looking and then she's put, I don't know how to say it. You know when people say you are G.H.

I know. Ugh. Ugh. She put loads of H's. Anyway. Ugh. I don't know why. I need to be so pedantic

about that. I forgot to put my handbrake on. Weirdly, as I was locking my car where when I had parked up before, I thought her crossed my brain of what would happen if I forgot my handbrake. And well, I found out, didn't I?

So now I am that girl, the new girl in the street, who doesn't even know how to put the handbrake on properly. That's my identity now. So I'm going to spend the rest of my life hiding from the neighbours due to cringe. Yep, fair enough. This is just added to the long list of shit I have done that plagues my brain when I try to sleep. Yater being embarrassing humans. I am so scared of doing that, you know.

I'm so scared. My mum never puts the handbrake on. That scares me. It's so annoying. She also always leaves the car in first gear. So if you ever drive her car, you get in, you instantly, saw when you turn the engine on because she's left her car in first gear without the handbrake on. She's reckless. I don't know why she does it. My car now has an auto

handbrake. That sounds like something that should have been implemented a very long time ago. I agree. But because I've had the car for 10 years that's had a manual handbrake, I have absolutely zero faith in the automatic handbrake. And every time I park, I like very slowly lift my foot off the brake to make sure we don't go anywhere. So is it just that when you stop, it's a handbrake. Or when you turn the engine off it comes on. No, no, when you stop. Well, I don't know because going up,

because my new car, it's not even a new car, my car now is an automatic. Because a handbrake start, I'm very good at them. But that's because I was so scared of being very bad at them that I made myself be very good at them. Like, sorry, a hill start.

Yeah, when you're going up a hill. Yeah, yeah. And I had to do that in my driving test because where I took my driving test was super hilly. And there's one junction and I knew they'd make me go there. And it's like you literally,

it's the worst situation. It's a really steep hill with traffic lights at the top and I had to turn right. So you had to wait. You had to go a little bit. You know when you're turning right, like on a junction and then you've got to stop and kind of wait again

because it doesn't just go like good for green. So it doesn't go like good for right. It just goes good for forward. So you go forwards a bit and then you've got to like hover waiting to go. That's horrible. Anyway, I became like best friends with my handbrake. And now I don't have one

and I find it so stressful. Because I get to a junction and I'm like, I've got no safety. That's the thing, because we've got a manual car, and I don't know if I'd be scared of driving an automatic, I'm sure I'd get used to it straight away, but like when you've, it feels like when you're on a hill, when you're a manual, you've got a lot of control. You do, yeah. Because you've got the handbrake, you've got your gear, your gear, clutch, clutch, yeah. You break, obviously you've got brake. Yeah, but like on an automatic, does it just, does it just park you there?

Yeah, it's really weird. Okay, that's actually quite really cool, actually. It is really cool, but I just, I haven't got the trust yet, because at the same, my car now also has, parking sensors which I've never had before and I really don't I get really annoyed with them because I'm like

I know more than you this is so boring I'm so sorry but if you're in an automatic and you are you take your foot off the brake do you just go no matter what

even if you're a foot's not on the accelerator do you just go no you have to accelerate well yeah I've never thought about it no

yes yes yes yes oh no I don't know fuck why can't I remember have to drive. No, yeah, you have to put your foot on the, on the gas to go. Well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you can't coast. You know, in like a manual car, you can coast.

Is that when you've got the clutch down? Yeah. You can't do that. Yeah, I do that way too much. Yeah, that's probably why I have to have an automatic. Because that makes me feel like I've got control, even though Dave's all the time, like, it's not, it's a false sense of control. It's also not great for the car.

And it's not good for the car. Yeah. He's not wrong. I bet Dave is such a stickler for like car rules. He is. The technical way of driving. Every time I park and Dave's, he goes, oh, well done, that was a good job. And every time this is a tiny air of surprise and I'm like, shut up, Dave.

Of course it was fucking brilliant. I'm so good at this. I think it's because he sees us as very scatty. I know. I think he's always a bit surprised by my driving. It's like, oh, well parked. Yeah. And every time I'm like, I'm going to take this as a compliment, but I know, I know what you, I hear what's between the life here.

There's an undertone. Yeah. It's chop and surprise. I feel like I either park perfectly or I just don't. Or I can't. That's everyone now. Is it? Okay.

Well, because you either park well or you don't. But like I either park well or I parked disastrously, you know? I have to get out the car and let someone do it for me. Let someone let's let someone. Like the queue of people. Okay, ask someone to do it for me. Because what if I try once and if I can't do it, my head's gone. My head's gone then.

I'm out. I'm out the game. Can't do it. I might as well have a panic attack. I'm out. I used to live on a corner, which is I think why I got so good at parking because I had a very small car and I lived on a corner. So if you had to look after your tires, high pavements, get to look after your alloys. Otherwise, you were going to have them all scraped up to shit.

So I got really good at parking, like parking on corners. I know I'm good. So it's fine, Dave. But my brother and sister, whenever they used to come and say, I remember my sister coming once to stay and it was like just after she passed her test and she hates driving in London. She finds it incredibly stressful and she does not thrive under pressure. She goes very, very and says lots of swear words and just not she's just not Cassia has such a specific way of driving we call it the peep and the creep

peep and creep like when she gets to a junction she got no confidence just to go so she peeps and creeps oh yeah that's like peep creep creep anyway yeah she's a stressful and stressed out driver

and she arrived at my house once in the car I've literally never seen anything like it just sideways like she was like you just I can't I've got a photo of it she's like I just I'm leaving I can't I just I just me the keys. She was like, make it, make it better.

So funny. I can hate driving, honestly. That's embarrassing for that person, but she is so lucky that it didn't take out another car, a child. Another, a dog, a person. Yeah. Yeah. Fence. Also, did the fence stop it? Because that's a good fence. Because cars are notoriously heavy. Yeah. On a hill. There's no, like, yeah, I mean, I've never seen it in real life, but in films, some people chase a car running down a hill, I just think. You are wasting. You are wasting your time.

Yeah. It's a race against gravity, my friend. What, yeah, like a car rolling into a lake. What the hell do you do? Just have to run and warn everyone. Like, get out of the way, get out of the way. It's so unlikely to happen. Is it?

Well, yeah. Okay, let's talk it through. What's it, what are you imagining? I leave the car and leave the handbrake on. Off. I often leave the engine on. Not anymore because I've got this thing, this like five-step thing that I have to go through.

like whenever I leave the car because I just I find the whole thing I don't know it comes naturally to some people and unfortunately it doesn't come naturally to me and I hate it because I'd like to be one of those people that just like scoots around everywhere I'd like I'd really like that

what's the five steps what are the five steps I don't trust myself what are the five steps I've taken it out of gear yeah I've taken my foot off the clutch I've put the handbrake on I've turned the engine off and I lock the car.

Good. Good steps. Important. Vital. Someone say vital, yes. Impaired. Mandatory steps. All part of the experience.

I can't even lock the car with the engine on. Can't you? No. No. No, because the keys would still be in it. No, because we've got one of those keys that doesn't need to, that doesn't go into the engine. Yeah.

You see, I'm a bit scared of that, like, that situation. I remember hearing that horrible story. about that man. I think his car got stuck on cruise control at like... Don't tell me this. Okay, I'll tell you later.

Killed it. Yeah, he actually... It was really bad. He was going like 90 miles now and he... And it was stuck. He was in it. He was in it.

And his car got stuck going that speed and he had to like sacrifice himself. He was on the phone to the police or the ambulance. I think it was the police.

Oh, my fucking God. Because I hate cruise control and it was because maybe it wasn't 90 must have been like 80 but it got stuck at that speed and I just read this thing and he had to

he knew like it couldn't go that long like he was on a motorway like there would be an accident and he didn't want to hurt anybody else so he had to orchestrate a crash where he just hurt only himself

really sad did he die he did yeah fuck like could he not push the brake no nothing no he threw and this is why I remember hearing about it because he threw the key he had like

you have like the key that doesn't go in the car like threw it out the window and it just you kept going yeah the car just didn't hey that's what I'm scared of like cut

Like smart motorways and like super clever cars and stuff. I'm like, no, you, like, you have to be able to maintain control. I'm not saying it's his fault. It's a car's fault. It's a reason. And I think it's a few years back. But like, yeah, bless him. But like, yeah, I just think all of that.

Cruise control or like keys like that. It's just, oh, actually, I'm on such thin. I have a much more relatable and less horrifying story. Because I have my own, sorry, my last car as well, I had a key like that. And I went and I went to a nice. countryside road and I don't even know what I was doing. Dogging maybe, I don't know. Anyway,

I got home and I drove home, no problem. I was desperate for a way. So I got out my car, went straight into the house, went for a wee, didn't lock it, then I said, oh, I need to go back out and lock the car. Where's the key? Completely lost the key. Got it, like, completely gone.

Wow. So I must have left it there and been able to drive. It must have fallen out my car. Oh, shit. And I just was able to drive home without it. Oh, wow. And to pay like, 180 pounds for somebody to come out and get me set me up with the new key it's so embarrassing it's so embarrassing as well he's like where

why why is your key I was like I don't I don't know is it how did you get here I was like I don't know never found it and it had a key ring that got from my 18th birthday on it that I loved oh that's annoying that's really annoying I know someone must have thought they were in for like an absolute win when they found like the key to like a Ford fiesta on the country road like wow where's the Ford gone okay so well there you go it could have been worse for that girl thank god it only hit a fence

thank god it only hit a fence yeah i think what we need to do here perhaps we could do it as a magnet or we could do something fun like a bumper sticker yeah of owl's five steps just to make sure that nobody ends up in this predicament again you're all welcome yeah al's advice al's automobile advice i love that i agree a yeah a a yeah a yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm So great. I've got my speed awareness calls next week, so I'll put it out to the group. Thank you. Yeah, test the waters.

Yeah, just any interest. Yeah, make sure everybody knows the rules. Well, thank you everyone for listening to this episode of Should I Delete That? If you have your own, is it just me's or embarrassing stories, we would, as always, love to hear them. You can either email us at Should I Delete That pod at Gmail.com or DM us at Should I Delete That on Instagram. Love you. Thank you for listening. Goodbye.

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