Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Tummy rubbin' and colon strugglin'

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

In this week's IIJM, Em and Alex tackle a triggering rollercoaster of a listener email, share some hilarious embarrassing stories and discuss their favourite podcast at the moment...Vote for us in the British Podcast Awards Listener's Choice category here: https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingFollow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Hello. Okay, we're a little giddy. We've been together for a while. And in that time, it's Thursday. Happy, is it just me episode? Sorry, we've received an email, which is quite literally the biggest roller coaster I've ever ridden in my life. I don't think it's pregnancy safe.

I don't think we should have read this. It's such a backhander. but we're here. We're leaning in. We're going to answer. Love your podcast. I feel like I'm sad with my pals having a chinwag. Bear with me, but to be quite honest with you,

I hated how much you spoke about motherhood and your children because I wanted to be child-free and I felt irritated by my favorite podcast changing to talk about motherhood so much. Okay. No comment. No comment. No comment.

I went to a week ago when I woke up and cannot stop thinking about having a baby. For context, I'm 30 and have been married to my husband for one year together for seven. I'm confused by my thoughts of having a baby, but I'm terrified of how miserable all parents look. Like, no offence. But you both seem to be having a horrible time. And I can't understand where the joy is. It's sleep this night.

It's no time to see friends. It's having no money because you're spending it all on the children. It's pissing yourself, getting piles, everything in the house being sticky. Could you please shed some light on this? How is it worth it when there is so much pain and exhaustion? Any tips for getting through the trenches because I am scared but so prudy. Thanks. I don't know why don't we start with how horrible your life is right now.

Okay, on a serious, on a serious note, this makes me feel quite gutted. This email, just the first part of it, because I think it speaks to like a deep rooted insecurity that I've... We both have had. That we both have had about being pigeonholed after becoming mothers of like, you're just, a mum now and like losing an identity that it's just I don't know I find I find this hard like my heart sank when I when I read that first bit about like I hate how much you talk about motherhead now because it's like I feel like we make a concerted effort to barely to barely speak about it so as big as for as bigger thing as our kids are we really don't talk about it that much and we make

an effort because we know that it's not for everyone we know the content isn't enjoyed by everyone And we know that a lot of you guys don't have kids, which is like totally fair fuck, some of you want them, something you don't, no biggie, we try not to, we try not,

and also we try not to do it from a really tragically misogynistic point of view, which is if we do talk about our kids too much, we get told, we get told off, we get this shit, we get, all you talk about is your kids, we get, this is boring,

we get, this is, this is all you are now. You know, it's so, it's such a hard thing to tread. It's like, it's so hard. It's really,

it's, trying to find a, a balance and I do feel like okay I'm being I'm being defensive here but I do feel like our content is super varied right like we have barely even know we have them right we have guests from like literally like all different areas of life like very random guests that we have sometimes as well like it's not I don't know I just I feel like we don't focus on motherhood but I'm being defensive no it's it is fair enough to be defensive because the bit that I'm not offended by that bit because I just think don't listen to something that you hate but what I was offended

by was there no offense, but you both seem to be having a horrible time. Instinctively I'm defensive there because I am having a horrible time because I have a very debilitating illness as part of a pregnancy that's seen me hospitalized a lot of times. So like, yes, that is shit and yes, there should be space for that. You have been having a hard time because your son is poorly and you're really stressed and you're trying to juggle a career whilst looking after him and it's hard. And so I do find that a bit like you both seem to be at like this, no fence but you're having a horrible time is a bit like we know we know yeah thanks um like sorry we didn't hide it better um but yeah so i don't know that i took that a bit personally however we have never

done an episode specifically about motherhood until we got this email this is coming out on thursday and on monday we have an episode just for you we've interviewed the amazing zoe blaski about her new book motherkind and we talk about this about all the stuff in your email about how hard it can be how it can be how we have to be allowed to talk about how hard and how shit it is, about giving space to women to struggle within a society that makes it very difficult to have children because of the cost of childcare and the expectation and the silent sort of need for us all just to shut the fuck up. And it's a really good episode. So we answer all the questions on Monday. We dig into that question of like, how can it be so good when it's so bad?

Yeah. Like we really do dig into that. I think that was really interesting because I didn't understand that either before I had a baby. Would you like to carry on with the fan mail? Should we leave this one here? I will say on this email, Ollo is the best thing I've ever done. I think it's difficult for both Alex and I, we don't share our children online for a very deliberate reason. So it's really hard for you to get the full picture of our lives because we're not sharing our children, you know, we don't share our kids. So you don't really know, I don't think, I don't think anybody could have an accurate portrayal of what our motherhood is like because we don't really show it. So it's a bit more complicated.

And maybe what you see online. It's hard to show the joy when we can't show them. Yes. It's really hard. It is hard. And I think all I can say is that being Arlo's mom is without a doubt the best thing I've ever done in my life. The joy is like, it's like overwhelming sometimes. It's ridiculous.

But then the hard stuff is also, it can be overwhelming, which I know is not what you want to hear. And it's, I don't know, it's probably an annoying answer. I don't know. I'm still triggered. Can we move on? Let's let it go. Okay, we're going into the DMs. We've got some embarrassing stories.

Let's lift us back up. Oh, no. Someone said, How's this for mortifying? I sent a lion video with attached comment to my beauty salon, not my husband, who I regularly send cat videos to. If the ground could follow me up.

So she sent a video of a lion on his back going, that Tommy needs a robin. She sent it to her beauty. you tell on that tummy capital letters needs her robin and then send a follow-up l-o that line was meant to go to my husband how cringe and then yeah she said they've left me on scene for nearly two weeks no so i can't even pretend they didn't see it oh no i don't know whether we should tell her that there is an unsan button yeah they don't tell her that it's too late oh that's rough oh i'm sorry that tummy needs at rumble okay right i've got more i've got more in the emails oh my god please okay oh okay

this is someone is it just me colon struggling yep okay so like colon and struggling are things i don't need to be saying any more given the conversations we've had recently hey girls i have a story to share that i feel you'll both relate to as it seems very untrend with the vibe of most depths at the pod or fuck it probably is about a colon struggling then long story for context so please keep with it. I've been an OG listener and found a love for running with couch to 5K and your chats and interviews in my ears. It started as a way to get fit again after an endometriosis surgery and now I use it to help my mental health and managed stress. However, it doesn't really seem to be working recently and I'm slowly losing my mind. In the stress of buying my first

home and a completion date being moved back and back and back, I feel insane. For the last three nights I've woken up at 3 a.m. in the panic, someone was stealing our car. Yes, Al, the whole car. Woken my dog up because I thought she wasn't breathing. I've put orange juice on my cereal three times and I keep putting cacao powder instead of cornflower into my dinners. Needless to say, my husband is close to having me committed for crimes against cooking and waking our household up in the middle of the night

with irrational fears. I think she might be implying that that's our fault. I think she is. That's what I'm gathering. I do want to stress on the back of that, but I did get the car back. Orange juice on corn flakes. Couldn't pay me all the money in the world.

Is that from us? I feel like that's not from us. I just feel like it's us code. I think. Yeah, yeah, probably, yeah. Oh, speaking of how's your cooking? Really. And that's a cooking photography.

Really good. I haven't tried actually since I was kind of, I don't know, I was discouraged from more food photography after that skating review. No, this is your villain origin story. This is it. It is. Like when we see our master chef, the professionals in a few years, that DM will come up.

Oh, speaking of cooking. Yeah. Speaking of cooking. Oh, my God. What? The bear. It's terrible. Thank you.

Thank God. It's terrible. To say that to you. I had to stop watching it. It is terrible. And I never say that. Absolutely terrible. Honestly, I applaud anybody that works in anything creative.

I really don't want to shit on anything. The frustrating thing is there is that they did a brilliant first season. Yeah. They did a brilliant second season. And then what the fuck was that? I gave up after two episodes. I think they tried to go really artsy with it. Yeah.

And it was too abstract. The problem is you kind of tee. me up for it. And it was like, oh, have you seen the bear? And I was like, oh, cool. I'll go, so I sat down, like, plot, ready. And then I started watching it. I was like, say something. I just zoned out. I was completely zoned out because I was like, there's no, there doesn't feel like a plot line this season. It's just, it feels like, do you remember when you used to watch Love Island, right? And it was like, Monday to Friday, they would have the episodes and all the drama. And then on Saturday, they'd be like

unseen bit. So it would just be like random. Like, they're just kind of filling the time. I'm with you. Season three felt like on. seen bits. Yeah, it's just Saturday night. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's at the pub. Yeah. Not a fan.

I didn't even, I didn't stick with it. No. Which I never do, I never don't stick with it. I just, time's precious. The boys really liking it. A bit gory. It's so gory. It's so gory.

Honestly, the gills are like haunting me. Yeah, they're fucking the octopus is way too much to me. Oh, I haven't seen that. No, I haven't seen that. Okay. No, I haven't seen that. Well, I'm not something to the fault. I will say that I'm kind of getting, I'm zoning out a little bit.

because it kind of feels like the same thing again and again. I don't know. I feel like they're not getting anywhere. It feels like they're kind of like they're running up a hill and the end is not, and then like the summit is never getting any closer, you know? I feel like it's something to take up with the script writers. Yeah, I do love it anyway.

It's a great show. Yeah, it's, Chase Crawford is so fit. I don't get it. What? No, that's a lie. It's not that I don't get it. I can see objectively he's like a good looking person, but I don't find him fanciable at all.

He went on Call Her Daddy podcast. Did he? Yeah. And like they're all over my Instagram like so many jokes and like just, I don't know. He just seems like a good natured guy. I never knew about the drama behind the call her daddy podcast. No, it's intense. It's so weird having someone in my life that takes my recommendations.

So I will recommend things to my sister all the time because I know she'll love them. Yeah. And not once does she follow through. So I sort of say things now just into an abyss. I'm like, oh, you'll love this. and nothing happened. It's so weird when it comes back when I say to you,

hey, you won't listen to this and you actually do. I'm like, wait, what? I know, I love it. Isn't it so good? The shameless podcast, yeah. They're so good. They are.

Who are they? Like, because they're so articulate. Yeah, they're so good. And they might these. So if you haven't come across it, it's an Australian podcast, a shameless podcast. And it's become like my favorite thing.

They basically do, it's like the biggest celebrity scandals revisited basically. It's part of these series. Yeah. And they script them so well. they research them so well, and they're just fascinating. It's such an interesting view of celebrity culture.

It is. I love it. Can I say one criticism? Yes. I feel like they're really harsh on the celebrity apologies. Oh, I see. Do you know what I mean? I'm always just like,

I'm really harsh on the celebrity apology. I know, I know. And it's like, it's so difficult to apologize when you get something wrong because anything you say in the apology is just torn apart. Yeah. And I'm a bit like just kind of. have just let people apologize? I don't know, maybe...

Which apology you're referring to? All of them, because I've listened to loads of them now. I've listened to like, loads of the Liam Payne one. Love the Liam Payne one. Yeah, I love the Lena Dunham. Yeah, I love the Lena Dunham one. So interesting. She's had quite a few blunders.

Yeah, a few public blunders. The, I haven't had an abortion, but I wish I had. No, that was stick in my head. I've forgotten that she said that. Forever. That will stick in my head forever. Yeah, Leen and Dunn have said it. I wrote it because I loved girls, but Lena Dunham did an interview.

did an interview, basically, she did, she said something about abortion and then she got some shit for, like, talking about abortion when she hadn't had an abortion. And then she basically made a video, like an apology video, but she kind of ended it being like, I haven't had an abortion, but I wish I had what. Yeah, she said, but I wish I had. And she meant because, like, all the women around her were so, all the women that she knew that had had abortions were really inspired. The thing is with Lena Dunham was, I always feel like she's so clear, like, I get, I get where she was going. I just never understand how she ended. It was just, it was so bizarre to me. It was scripted. Like, it just.

It just didn't make sense. That goes through so many people. Yeah. Yeah. But she's a classic example of like building someone up so much. Agree. She was just like the, she was just like a hit, like a poster girl for feminism. And then it's so interesting listening to that podcast looking at the difference between like the cultural treatment of men versus women and like how much more men can withstand how few podcast episodes there are about men in general.

Well, do you know what? Shocked me. Also listen to the James Corden one. That was interesting. Really interesting. What I was so surprised about is how many things were like bubbling under the surface about like controversies and negativity that I'd never heard about. Never heard.

I never heard a whisper of negativity around him until the restaurant fiasco with, you know, that he was banned from a restaurant for basically just being rude and shouting at the staff. I was like, if that had been a woman, can you imagine? We would have been hyper aware of like every little misstep. And she would not still have the late late show or whatever. And I know he stepped down now. Tons of stuff. Yeah, it's mad.

Like, I kept thinking that. Like, there's just so much that the, have you done the one on Demi Moore? No. So interesting. Is it? Yeah, God, she had it. It's just, yeah, it's just nuts. It's just absolutely wild.

Like, it's, I don't know if that was like the purpose when they did the episodes. Like, I don't think the purpose of the series was necessarily to highlight misogyny, but it is. Yeah. Something that's something that's so interesting. I haven't done that one yet. Oh, yeah. That's really interesting. I'm doing Logan and Jake Paul.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I have always been fascinated by them. By YouTuber culture, by the money these guys have made. Yeah, it's insane. So I watched an incredible documentary about the sidemen, and they made it, so it's not, you know, it's not a critical one. Yeah. I hadn't realized that Ethan from the side men had had, like,

alcoholism and struggle with addiction and, like, depression and, like, the depression and sounds like suicide ideation and stuff. And, like, just because of the trolling and shit. Like, it's just mad. I don't know, but like, yeah, because everyone gave him such a hard time for his appearance and for being over the way. He's a dad now, he seems really happy, but like that documentary was fascinating. What's it called?

The Cybermen? Yeah. Okay. I think so. But yeah, just these like, I don't know, I find YouTube and YouTube culture fascinating. Shane Dawson, do you know about Shane Dawson? Yeah, yeah. What did he get canceled for?

Oh my God, those, those, that set of beauty bloggers, beauty YouTubers have been all cancelled for like 17 different things each. It's crazy. They're always like calling each other out and doing videos like take down videos on each other and it's about Should restart? Imagine if we did it! He was best mates with Jeff Freestar. Oh God, that's the name I haven't heard in the minute.

Yeah, he's, I think he's back. Like he's like YouTube back, TikTok back. But he fell out with Jeffrey Starr like really publicly. I don't know, there's a lot. Imagine. Like I can't keep up with the tea there. The disc tracks, the Logan Paul, the Paul, the, the Paul Brothers

did against each other. Imagine if you and I started doing disc tracks against each other. Imagine if like What's a disc track? What's a distra? Right. Well, that's our homework then. The sidemen did it. Then Team 10 like Jake Paul's group did it in like 2017-18. Okay. YouTubers started writing disc tracks, like tracks dissing each other and putting them out. And they released some

music. Yes, music. Like Logan Paul kissed his brisked his bruce. other's ex-girlfriend in his disc track. Like, they made one about KSI. Like, the other side men made one about KSI, and they talked about how, like, he spunked all over his bed and did loads of drugs. I mean, it's not mad.

Oh, my God. Okay, let's not do that. I can't take it. It's like every secret, every text they've had between each other, they put out. And it must be publicity to it, except they don't do them anymore, but, like, this was like, this was peak, like, eight years ago.

I did not. I did not know this. How wild. Imagine if you. When I started doing that. I know. Imagine. I don't think they'd be very good.

I have an email here, subject line, capitals, the worst awkward of all time, X-O-X. Okay. Hi, girls. I feel they need to shed my awkwardness from me and inflict it on other people as soon as possible. So I can just, so I can die, just a tiny bit less and shed the pain. Okay. Last night, my friend and I went to an over. open air pool event for the meteor shower where you could hang out in the pool

and watch the sky in the hope of seeing some meteors sounds wholesome right yeah she said this yesterday where was there a meteor shower i've seen it i've seen it i've seen it on instagram people but it's not seen it seeing it's seeing it when you said i've seen it i know i've seen it see it but people have seen it and i've seen people see it on instagram whoa well we were in the pool yeah doing a few half-hearted lengths to keep us warm whilst the sun was setting and it was getting darker

if she got in early I would have waited for sunset before getting in if you're waiting for a meteor that is night time behaviour anyway also meteors that's like dinosauric attention shit

I wouldn't wait outside for a meteor I'd wait like in the base if I knew there were fucking meteors flying around last night I wouldn't have been sleeping so sadly also why would the pool warm you up no no she's moving to warm up she's cold in the pool

sorry right okay we were nearing the deep end of the pool when I felt someone else's foot under me and I said Ooh, a foot. No. I saw a teenage boy treading water in front of me and assumed I had kicked him.

He looked at me with a strange horror on his face and I saw he was a little too far from me for it to be his foot. No. I looked down and exclaimed, OMG, a whole human. As I realized I had swam over the top of the boy's dad

who was underneath the water. The entirety of this little age... Oh my God. She's beaching him. The entirety of this middle-aged man began trying to come up for him. Oh, no. And put his head square between my legs. No, no, no.

I chucked to try and move away and give him room. But this just resulted in him beginning to rise up through the water with the back of his head, skinning all my thighs, vagina and stomach before I could get him. way i hate this my friend and i died as we quickly snapped from as he laughed as he laughed and apologized once he'd managed to escape the inside of my actual thighs to get some air we saw some meteors and had a lovely time but this night will always be known as a time a middle-aged man almost wore me like a hat in a swimming pool love the pod thanks for allowing me to share my shame Oh, we like a hat. It's like a double deck of people. That's so bad. She's like a tortoise shell.

Oh my God, a whole human. Did you say she's like his chair, it's tortoiseshell? I would fucking die. What a horrible encounter. Horrible. I don't know who it's worse for you or him. It's way worse for her. Are you kidding?

he's like don't don't I mean he was probably dying I need to ask you and I already know what the answer is would you rather be in someone's way or have someone in your way have someone in my way

quite right quite right yeah yeah you're right yeah you're right and you're not just stopping in from like getting from 80 you're stopping him from breathing with your body

I'm so sorry I'm the worst And she was getting into the deep end as well So it's not like she's like oh I'll just write myself It's like no It was probably panicking I'd be banning him Oh

Does the water not see through? No, it's getting dark How deep was he? What are you doing down there bro? Like yeah no I don't want a victim blame But I feel like There are some guilty parties

Can we get footage of that? My favourite thing at the bottom Was obviously like part of this email she, like her sign off has her mobile number of her email address. The inclination is all in blue. I'm like, should I just, should we ring her? Oh my God, should we ring her? No, I don't think we, I think it's an event, GDPR, I don't know.

We'll be doxing. Oh my God, let's ring her. I do think so, hey, hey, what's going well today? Oh my God, no, that would be so fun. Let's ring her. You're like Ashton Coucher. I don't think we should ring her. No?

No, I think it's an invasion of privacy. I don't. I do. If it was on the email that she sent us. think it's just a sign-off. I don't think everybody's sign-offs are an invitation for us to call all the numbers there. I bet you she'll listen to that, to this and be like, I wish you called me guys. I bet you she wouldn't. She'd be like, what would we have talked about? She's already told us her deepest, darkest shame. God, that's so good. I can't believe that came in yesterday. What a treat.

I can't believe there were meteors and I didn't know. Okay, I have something now to make your toes curl before I let you leave. Another email. Is it just me? Sex at 30. Hi, both. As always, should I delete that It's the soundtrack to my walks and runs And I'm so grateful I found two amazing women To fill my ears, a way of goodness, thank you. I think I haven't, is it just me And I request for your help To go with it.

It's not a funny one, so as Since turning 30, I've noticed I don't really have the desire to have sex anymore. I feel like I should, but my counsellor always told me to stop shudding. I think you had a guest on before Who spoke about sex and said, Take the pressure off how many times a week

And instead think, even if it's once a month, that once a month is amazing right i guess i could say i'm there but i'm struggling still i unintentionally put a heap of pressure on my partner to initiate then get upset when he doesn't or when he does it's not great i'm the second ever girlfriend and it still feels like i'm teaching him how we've talked so much about it now to he gets upset and now there's like a dark shadow hanging around it making it even worse is it just me am i putting too much pressure on something that is important but not the most important i'm aware that love and laughter and

intimacy in other forms is all we really need. And actually I've got that. But I'm terrified that this is a real issue. But I don't want it to be because he's my favorite person ever. I wonder if you could ask to see if anyone's listen to good books about how to help 30-somethings with the way they think about it and the way to approach it better. Everything I found seems to be for 40 plus or married people who've lost their spark. And we're not even married. Thanks again for being wonderful. Well, the sex doctors, Dr. Karen Gurney, who came on and she wrote Mind the Gap. And I think that applies to... That's definitely applies to young because she's written two books.

She's written one saying, like, I think it's like, how to stop kids ruining your sex life is her one geared maybe to old people or parents or married couples. But yeah, Mind the Gap would be great. I think she's the person you're referring to in this email about the guest that we had on. She's amazing and she's done loads and loads of episodes. She's really cool. The book is Mind the Gap, The Truth About Desire and How to Future Prove Your Sex Life.

and it's about female sexuality and desire and the gender gap. Yeah, I think her book would be a really good place. Yeah, a really good place, yeah. But I do think as well, like there is, I do feel like there is a lot of pressure from social media to be having, like, amazing sex. Yeah, but I feel there's pressure from, like, yeah, I feel like there's always that pressure everywhere from, like, rom-coms, magazines. Well, I feel like it's, as well as, like, we've, women have been, like, we've been taught to just

put up with bad sex for so long right and it's like this movement of of like shifting to good sex and like prioritising our pleasure yeah but that is not over a partner's pleasure but you know putting it on the on a part on a part with and which is true which is all great and which is all absolutely necessary but i do i do i do think that just comes with it maybe a bit of pressure of like oh my god i'm not having this amazing mind-blowing sex yeah i also think it's a frustrating thing of like you've got to be the one to teach, with that in mind, you've got to be the one

to teach your partner how to do it because it's like men aren't, like boys, men, whatever. They weren't taught like how to please women. They weren't taught that it was a priority. Yeah. They've been sold a massive lie about what sex actually is what women enjoy.

So I think like there's a lot of unlearning and a lot of men of most men I'd hope are really willing to like do the work. And it sounds like a partner's trying to get it right. It does. The fact that he's upset about it. Yeah, but I can imagine that is a pressure because he'll be seeing it too, you know, and it's like men aren't supposed to be bad at sex.

Like that's, and also men could never be bad at sex. Like in the world that we grew up in, in the like content that we consumed, the rom-cons, porn, whatever, like men weren't bad at it because you couldn't be because it was just like. No, it out, shake it all about. Exactly that. So I don't know what that came from. And I immediately regret saying it.

Yeah, like a couple of pumps and she's done, whatever. but like there's no there's no there was no play there's no handbook for them yeah yeah for them and it's like I know you know we talk about like fragile masculinity and all that shit but actually that is gutting to grow up thinking you're just going to crack it and then you can't crack it like oh like horrible and it's it's a complete like it's a judgment on your on so much of who you are on your manhood on like all of that so I can understand why the pressure is not like an aphrodisiac for him because he's going to be feeling like oh no i'm not getting it right and like and you obviously have these expectations in your head of how you want him to do it and he's going to feel like he's

not meeting them and i think also that that that expectation of him initiating i imagine that that becomes then a vicious circle of him of you feeling like it's not happening him feeling the pressure to do it and it kind of it spirals from there and it gets it becomes like a bit 100 and that might be toxic that might be your expectation as well. Like you might expect him to initiate it in like a really specific way. It's like, oh, I wish you'd like do this. And then when he doesn't do it, it's annoying. And then when he does his own thing, you'd be like, oh, that's not what I wanted. But if you haven't communicated that to him, he's not going to know. Yeah. And like, I would recommend beducated as a platform.

Yes. Yeah. Which might be good. It's like a, it's like a sex education platform, basically. And there's loads of info for like kind of whatever stage of your life you're having. Alex and I have both worked with them before. But they do like... It's weird when you call me Alex. Like, who's that? Yeah, what the fuck? It also sounds like me and my husband.

I know, I was like, have you? Have you guys? In what capacity? I'm not in the business. Me and Al, we've both both work with them. They're really cool. It might be helpful. Yeah.

But I think a big part of this, obviously with absolutely no qualifications and because I'm literally the last person I would go to for advice on. sex at the moment but um it does sound like there's quite a lot of expectation there yeah and i do think expectation is often the thing that leads to disappointment 100% there's a lot of sex expectations baby you got to communicate yeah yeah yeah that's a very good point i think if you like strip back oh another one if you like strip back the expectations and just probably

strip it back down to basics right i'm just going back to like like even like let's just have simple sex like with no expectation of it's going to be this like mind-blown going to do this position that position sadder than the sentence let's have simple sex I yeah do you want to have simple sex with

nothing out of this don't need to like rock your socks off or anything doesn't have to be great it's just simple but I don't know I feel like I thought might be where lies like great sex

where it's just like quite simple yeah like you're not trying so hard. And maybe not so many binaries. Like it doesn't have to be like full penetrative shit. Like just try some other stuff like. And also like your, this person is your favorite person. It sounds like you want to stay with this person for a really long time. There is so much time for sex to continue to evolve and improve. Yeah. And there's so much time for you to like both practice and like get to know each other even better and like get to know each other's body's even better and blah blah blah. So. And things might change. Like you might change. You know,

what you want now is probably not what you wanted five years ago and what you're going to want in another five years and I think it does sound like you're a little bit disappointed with how things are at the moment and I think that's an air that's going to like sit within both of you and that's just it's not a sexy like disappointment is probably the least sexy of all the of all the things all the emotions I think so try and find an unsexier one like sad sex you can do because that's like oh that's nice that is a really good point angry sex you can do happy sex is nice jealous sex yeah Like that sounds passionate. Yeah.

Oh, God. Aggressive, fine. Yeah. God, I can't think of any more emotions. Greedy sex. That sounds quite fun. I think disappointing is about as, it's about as bad as it is.

I think you're right. Yeah. So I feel like why don't you get angry with him about it? Like that might help. That might evoke a little. Do I mean, try and swap out. I don't know if that's good advice. Can we take that for?

back get angry at him be really nasty you'd be better i don't know if that's better i don't think that's better i don't know we are listening i don't know anyone comes to us for advice it's appalling i know we should put like a we should put a disclaimer at the top of every episode to be like what i don't do this you say you just pitch a fault you know when they have it when like you see like um on tic-dog now or instagram and it's this is this is this act has been done by professional Please don't try it at home. I feel like we should have a warning like that on the podcast now. Or like Instagram started putting covers over a post being like,

this is false information. See why. That's what we need. That's exactly what we need. On that note, enjoy. I hope that was really helpful advice for me. I hope it gets less disappointing. Yeah.

We love you. And good luck. Okay. Think of our, no, don't. What are we going to say? Think about us when you have sex. No, please don't. Well, do if you want, you know, that's quite flattering.

You can if you want. Like, it's fine, but... Yeah, yeah. Honestly, whatever... Whatever works, we're here, we're here at your service. Not in that way. We're going. We love you all.

See late, guys. Bye, goodie. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.