Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: TWENNYNINE!

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

In this week's IIJM, the girls talk Grey's Anatomy, wedgies and Em's scooter skillz...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello! What is Katal mean? How are you? Good! Yeah, how are you? Katil! Good, good. Okay.

All good. All good, yeah. I'm kicking us off. It's not an... Actually, it isn't... It's more of an awkward story, an embarrassing story. Hi, I'm an Alex. You wanted to know if paramedics see a lot of

naked people. The answer is yes. We see a lot of nakedness. In fact, people are often naked when you really wouldn't expect them to be. I've been a paramedic for over 20 years and I've seen many a bare body. My most awkward naked moment was when we picked a gentleman up from the floor to put him back in his chair. As we got him to standing, I leant down to pull up his underpants for him. At this moment, he decided to try and sit down on the armchair behind him. My head became wedged between the seat of the chair and his naked bottom and parts. My life flashed before my eyes as I envisioned death by head crushing or being smothered by his butt cheeks.

Anyway, obviously I survived, as did he, and there have been many more naked people since this incident. That is fucking devastating. Imagine some strangers gooch rubbing up against drooling. And a scroat, because they're heavy. It would be like, like a, like a... That's really horrible. I'm trying to make the...

I'm trying to make a, like a... Splat. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. Like a... Like you'd have to peel them off. like, yes.

Yes. Whatever the back of a is. Exactly. Whatever the opposite of that is, like a splat. It's very bad. That's very bad.

It's horrible. Unconsensual tea bagging. Yeah. Oh, yes. And that goes in the mouth, doesn't it? Yeah, it does go in the mouth. Big old, big old scrote in your mouth.

Have you ever done a tea bag? Absolutely not. Have you? No. It feels like you have. It feels like you have. And you were about to admit to it. And then I respond.

my mouth doesn't really open well it does now but it wasn't open wide enough I'd probably only have space for like certainly not both of them yeah oh god that's so bad no I've never had a desire to two bag

but you know and there's something about being like between the butt cheeks as well like the crevests it's disgusting that she got sat on by somebody it's so embarrassing and the funny thing is you know when you go to sit down like for the man it's so embarrassing because you know when you go to sit down and then like you've realised you're like

you've like sat on the armchair or something that you've not quite sat on the poop like you sat on the wrong bit and you do that thing you go woo like woo did you have to do that but like off your heads like whoa and are you don't know any last washed no last screwed that's disgusting i find skid marks probably the most disgusting thing of anything i can think of rank can you tell that to my husband no yes no wait do you mean in the toilet no like in your pants oh in your pants I did think you were doing Dave dirty I was like, okay, I'll

you sure you want to tell them? Here's the thing. I don't really understand skid marks, right? Because how much poo would you have to leave on your bum that you're I mean, okay, I guess if you're wearing a thong that's different. Yeah, because that's a real like cheese cloth that's going in there and shoo-shut. But knickers don't go in there.

And boxer shorts. And boxers sheets. Like sometimes... How much poo are you leaving on your bum? Like when there's like a fucking skid mark left on a mattress. I'm like, right, if you just yachted across the bed, like, the alarm's gone so scooted. How else do you fucking do it? You're like spreading your cheeks and then like, you'd have to.

I don't understand. My bum is way too big for that. Very too big. These people just got like sort of like gaping chattels. Sorry, when have you seen a skin mark on a bed? I just know that they exist. Oh, no. No, honestly, there's not going to be Alex, is it?

Not with his, like, cat-like tendencies. He's way too clean for that. But, like, it happens. And it's well in their pants. I'm like, have you always got, like, loads of wedgies? But even if you, even if you have a wedgie, right? Like, what state did you leave your ass in after you had a poo? There are so many components to it.

It's just gribly. Like, really grubly. It's disgusting. It's bad. Should know what that made me think of? You know, the Ed Shearing song, Taste of You? I'm in love with her. No.

I'm in love. I'm a love. Shape. Shape of you, that's it. Shape of you. And the lyric, when it goes, last night you were in my room and my bed, she'd smell like poo.

Have you heard that? It says smells like, smell like you, but it sounds like, in my head it's poo. That's it. She was probably yachting all over the bed. She was scooting.

Scoot, skit, skit, skit, bedch. Well, that's nice. That's a visual. I used to scoot everywhere, not the ars scoot. I used to have a scooter. A push one. Did you?

a grown adult. Yeah, yeah. Did you? I would love a scooter. Oh my god, Al. A couple of things to know about scooting. Yeah. First one being, you know the bumps at traffic lights. Yeah. On the pavement. Yep. When it's wet, they are slippery as shit. Like, I have, they are very dangerous. It's a no-go zone. So you can be scooting along, minding your business, and then bam, and then you go into the road, because they're always on a slight slant. So I ate shit a lot of times. on that. I want to say this when I was a kid

it literally was like three years ago and then yeah literally just before COVID I scooted everywhere and you knew me in my scooting

I don't think I did I used to scoot all the time and it was like urban sledging because I'd attach a touch booer to the front like I'd just hook the lead around

the handle yeah and we'd just scoot along together where would she go though she'd just run alongside she loved it she'd basically be like pulling me along

which was fine until either we saw a squirrel which was not fine or if she needed a poo because she puts the emergency break on, like, nobody's business. So, like, I'd still be scooting.

She'd stop. And I would always go over the front of my handle glass. So we had a couple of, it's not the safest thing I've ever done. Like, I did fall way too much for an adult. Do you know what I mean? Like, adults shouldn't fall over that often. It's a bit like, if an adult falls, it should be like once every five years and have a, like,

be shrouded and in deep shame. But I was falling over once a week. I honestly, I feel like you deserve it. I got it for my 25th birthday. Did you? From my mom, because I really wanted one. Yeah, I'm only 28. So that's about right.

Yeah, 29. Yeah, like four years ago. I absolutely loved it. Scooted everywhere. And then I had to stop because I was doing the marathon stuff. And one of my legs was really strong. My left leg was getting so strong from all the pushing. And my right leg was getting really weak.

And the osteopath was just like, your back is this is not okay. A little lazy leg. Lazy leg. So then I had to try and do it. left leggedly, but I'm left-legged. Nightmare. Yeah. And then it got even more dangerous because it's your birthday soon. Yes, it is. Yes. 29. 29. 29. And I like to say a birthday. If you haven't seen New Girl, yeah, then that's what that is. 29. I don't, I can't remember. I love New York. It's Schmidt. It's Schmidt's birthday because he's not okay about his last birthday and his.

Sorry, Schmidt was not 29 in that series. He was 28 when it started. Fucking never. I really. fancy him in a weird way. I fancy him so much, but I'm sorry, no. Yeah, watch me for my entire twin. Like, if you see me around my birthday, I'm just going to be going 29. I'm pleased I don't have to deal with turning 30 yet. Alex is turning 30 in a minute, boy Alex. Yeah, in a couple of weeks. Probably by the time his airs, he'll be 30. Yeah, because I'm throwing him a party in him. I'm very stressed. 3.0, yeah, doesn't have the same ring to it as 29, but... Dave turns 40 soon. Dave does what? He turns 40 quite like fairly soon. How soon? How soon?

A year in Jan What? I know, I know. I can't believe I'm friends with someone who's nearly 40. Neither can I, honestly. Well, it was nearly the end of our friendship there if you were going to be saying that he had skid marks on the bed.

I just saw our friendship flash and I was like, well, that was nice while it lasted. But all good things come to and then, see you later today. Yeah. Go to be 40. I know, I know. 40? I mean, he's got a bit of time left

like a year and a half. but it's a lot right he's 38 now he's 38 now he's 10 years older than me he's 10 years older than you yeah yeah yeah I know what how do you have so much in common

with both of us that's weird isn't it yeah more in common with me probably than Dave or maybe even I don't know the two sides of your personality I feel we are either end of you

yes I don't really like friends wise I don't really know anyone much older or younger no I don't mean age wise I mean personality personality-wise. Oh, yeah.

Like, me and Dave are the complete opposite of each other. Oh, complete opposite. And I feel like you thrive in both of our companies, but for completely different reasons. But it's a different energy shift. Very different. I put on a different hat, you know. I can see that. I have to.

Yeah. No, me and Dave are not simpatico. No. But weirdly, he likes you. Yeah, I like him too. Weirdly, that's horrible. A little offensive. Whereas you and Alex are very similar

I feel like we are actually quite similar He's a lot less neurotic Oh yeah Oh yeah Yeah he probably thinks of like 1% than I do Yeah That didn't make sense but yeah you're very similar Yeah we are actually

Humour-wise But then Dave and I have quite similar humour Yeah He's quite dry Yeah Just horribly different personalities To go along with the jokes Drastically different

Yeah you and all are kind of the same I've got an ick is it me it's just it's someone who sent us a Instagram DM I presume before that she had given an ick yes I think she had

right so I said oh my god I don't know what's going on today but just found another ick when people sing when they really go for it with confidence right in front of you and your face just squirms I just went on someone's story and they unexpectedly were singing their heart out my face has been twisted in horror for about a minute.

Do you remember that Grey's Anatomy episode where they all just started singing? Oh my God. Okay, Al, there's like 17 seasons of Grey's Anatomy and they have, they've done everything. Like, everything you can think of. Plain crash, they've done it. Like, hospital bombing, they've done it.

Like, I mean, they have done everything. Like, they've done conjoined twins. They've done... I mean, like, I can't even think of all the things they've had to do. Like, they've done everything. and then it was like they fully run out of things by like season 15 so they all just started singing

and it's like you've got like a patient and there's Owen the fucking trauma surgeon who gives me the ick anyway no offence to him but he's like doing CPR and he just looks up and starts at the camera like I don't know why I'm still doing CPR but he just breaks the fourth wall

and just starts fucking singing and that's the whole episode it's a musical episode See, I have to say I quite like that. Oh, yeah, no, I'm just, I don't know. When people sing, it's just, it is awkward. Are you ready to die? Yeah, go on.

Ginger once I win. Yeah, I'm going. acting like this is okay. That is horrifying. I told you. That is, what? Like, was it serious though? Like, were they actually being serious?

I had to stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on, there's more. I had to stop. I had to stop watching Grey's Anatomy at about this point. This woman's dying. That's her orthopedic surgeon. If my orthopedic surgeon just started singing Snow Patrol,

I'd be like, what are you doing? Oh my God. She's dying. She's dying. He's dying. Sorry. No. Look at the one with their grazed heads.

Like, why are you singing? Help. Look at the one. Oh, he's so fit. He is fair. He's so fit. What the fuck is happening? I know.

So, no, I, I'm so confused. They just started singing. And it wasn't like sat up No, they just started singing And was, tell me it was like universally panned They just sung for the whole episode They never did it again They just had one episode randomly

Where everybody sang And never again Never again And there was no reason for it Never everybody just sang I absolutely horrified That is disgusting But I agree

And sometimes you follow people on Instagram Like who you don't know sing And then when they sing It's like I know Oh my God I know I know

Even if they're good particularly if they're good yeah yeah I know and I've married someone who used to upload his music videos to YouTube and they're all still up there oh I love that I'm gonna watch them

they're lovely and his little little Irish accent like he just sounded like he was just so like oh like check out my YouTube I don't know they were all just really cute and then he like little belt his little heart out to his little whistles he's a really good singer yeah he is a really good singer

to be fair But it wasn't kind of cringe when he did it because it was just like, maybe it's because it was his job. Yeah, it's different. Oh, I don't know. I just find it is uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable. Sometimes when he gets drunk and then he sings

and then I video it and then I show him the next day and he's like, bye, I have to leave the earth now. I'm moving, I'm going. Georgie has a whole lot of videos of him really drunkenly singing after like his birthday a couple of years ago and I think his like toes die, fall off when we talk about it. Cute. To finish off, a little bit of an awkward.

Hello, just have to let you both know my awkward for the week. I live in a little village and my friends and dating pool live in the nearby city, Cardiff. Sorry, I've read on and I'm just amused. Whenever I get the chance, I order a takeaway when I'm in Cardiff because of all the choice. Well, I'm watering my friend's plants and I ordered myself a nice little tie takeaway whilst I was there. Yum! I'm going to get a big tie. Yes.

Throw back, Daisy. So, my food should be there and I'm wondering what's going on until I checked the confirmation email and see I ordered it to my ex's house. Had to go around and collect it. I've never felt like more of a stalker. That is so embarrassing.

Yeah, that's not good. Order it to your ex's house. No, the worst is that she wanted it so badly that she went to go and get it because I would literally be like, keep the spring rolls, I'm going home. No, but I think it's super... Yeah, to be fair, I couldn't show my face,

but it's so awkward to just leave it. Your name is on it. Like your name's on, they print a receipt on, put it on, put it on, don't they? So he'll know that it's her. So he'll either think, he might think she's just ordered me a big tie takeaway. I'm going to get a big tie. Oh, that's so embarrassing. I can't.

It's, I would have left it. I would too. I feel more pussy. I couldn't go around and get it. Even if I sent it like three doors down, Even if I just sent, like, even if it went to my next-door neighbor, I'd be like, oh, that food's gone forever, goodbye. Like, I can't.

Oh, God, something really bad has happened. What? I saw my neighbours three door down, three doors down the day. Yeah. She was like, oh, I saw her on Instagram that wedding in Madrid. You looked so nice. I love the dress. I was it for.

I was like, you did what? How did you find me on Instagram? And also, she's the owner of the cat that I talk about on Instagram all the time. Shit. She's also the mother of a child that I've talked about. about on the podcast before. Oh, no. I don't talk about children a lot

on the podcast, but they were my neighbours that built... I can't talk about it. I can't say who they... I can't. No, that's it. I can't say anything now. I'm surrounded, all angles. I knew I should have gone into witness protection sooner. Yeah, you really should. It's really bad. Honestly, this morning yesterday, when she said it and I walked into the house afterwards and I was like, well, shit. I have to

move house. You're being closed in on. They all know now. Yeah. I suppose they must... But they've probably talked about me, which is very bad. Yeah, do you think? Well, she came over the other day because she locked herself out the house. Yeah.

So she came into the house. Bless her, with no shoes on or anything. Because she didn't have a key, so she was like, can I just wait in your house for my husband to get home? Oh, could I use your phone? Because I don't have a phone because I got myself on my house. Anyway. But we didn't talk about what we did for jobs. It was very top level.

We talked about the cat and the dog. So there's no way she could have known unless more told her. Nope. Yep. Eish. Eish. That's awkward. It's awkward.

It's awkward because now I'm like... You've got to be very very... Very careful. Very careful. Because they're all really nice people. You've got, I don't, you always think as well, like, in public, I feel like I'll be really careful just in case what I say or,

what, like, oh, in case you say something. Yeah. It's going to get you cancelled. No, more just like, I don't, I don't, I don't know. I just sometimes I'm like, because, you know, sometimes, I don't know why I'm, like, bringing myself into this, but, you know, like, sometimes you get messages after I was on the train with you. I just didn't want to say anything.

So then you're like, oh, gosh. God, like trying to remember everything you said on the train. Yeah. That scares me. I don't like that. Yeah, I had that. I think I've said this before. I had that at Ellie's birthday a few years ago when we were really drunk and we were at the bar and I don't remember what I was doing. I just remember doing a bunch of shots and then the girl

behind me was like, hi! I follow an Instagram and I was like, oh no, how long have you been there? Yeah, that's bad. Because I'm doing tequila, so that's not good. I know. It's like, I much prefer when people say something. Oh yeah. Acknowledge it straight away so I can be on my

very best behavior. Right. Because what if I embarrass myself? That's the most likely thing. But with the neighbours, it's like, this is the worst because it's like, I trudge up and down that street in stupid little costumes, filming stupid little lads all the time. I've bought three, always.

I've bought three lues. I bought three lues and I laid them out on the street. Yeah. It's not good. No, I've worn a whole dress made out of Loo roll on that dress. I've dressed as a black current and got stuck on the floor. Like, I did my Rihanna pregnancy. video on that street there's very little i haven't done i'm surprised you're not on influences in the

wild i hate that page you know it feels very misogynistic who did we talk about that we talked about that with a guest i can't remember which one i can't remember but it does suck it does suck because it is just laughing at women doing their jobs all women being and i quote-unquote vain yeah when it's just like why do we have to do this you can laugh there's plenty of funny things in the world we don't need to laugh at the people like that. It's just mean. Anyway, I do deserve to be on it. I mean, Fairfax.

They'd have seen me in the middle of my own street, carrying a fucking loo from plum base. So, yeah, it's like, I'm going to have to move in house. I don't know. I don't know. I can't just lean in now. No, you're going to have to move to somewhere isolated, I think. Yeah.

It's the only real option. Witness protection. I've said it before. I stand by it. Well, on that note, will you sing us out? No. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no.

Oh, that's not a real song. Anyway, I feel like I've put you off Grey's Anatomy for life. Oh my God, I'm so off Grey's Anatomy. I'm disturbed. Fair enough. Thank you for joining us. We will see you on Monday. Before you go, just thinking about him, about, about, about Grey's Anatomy.

McSemey is so fit, but I'll tell you what, he was the dad in Euphoria. Yeah. And he was the one that was like super sexually inappropriate in Euphoria. Oh. He was the dad that went and shagged. I didn't watch it. Well, he, he went to a move. hotel and did something seedy because he's cheating on his wife.

So I was like, McSdemans. Anyway, he's very fit, though. Yeah, oh my God. Stunning. Yeah. Woof. All right. Anyway, okay, we'll actually go.

We'll speak on Monday. Bye. Love you, bye. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creative network.