Should I Delete That? - Is It Just Me: Why is my penis throbbing?

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

In this week’s Is It Just Me? the girls discuss Excel spreadsheets, watching sex scenes with your family and forgetting to wash in the shower...Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello. Happy Thursday. Happy, is it just me day? It's 2023. I just shouted so loudly, hello, into my microphone, but it, like, flash red at me. Stop it. It's like, stop it. Shut up.

Shut up. It's too loud. Shut up your face. How you doing? Well, I'm not having the best day. I'm not having a bad day, but I... Oh, you've been. literally in communication with me all the hay-ha. I'm going to take that person with. Exactly. Exactly. I went to, I got in the shower. Well, actually, this is an is it just me? I got in the shower this morning. And I was really cold when I got in. And the water was really warm. So I was just like really enjoying it. Go out the shower, went up, got dressed, did my hair, did my makeup. And then I was like, I didn't wash when I was in the shower. I just turned the water.

water on to go and stand in the shower for like four minutes. And I didn't wash. I didn't wash myself. You're okay. I know. I know. How? I don't. Like, because I love the system. I love the system for the car. Like the five, the five now seven step system for the car. We've got to, we've had to create a new way of reminding you to put your headphones in when we do the podcast. You've got your white boards. So you remember to wash your hair and stuff. I just don't know how we can help. Maybe. I know. Maybe there's a, I know what we can do. We can get you one of those personalised shower curtains that just says, remember to wash on it. I don't think they make those generic because I think most people just know to wash and they get in the shower,

but we could make you a specific one. I'm making myself sound like there's something really wrong with me, isn't there? I don't think it's a question of sounding like there's something really wrong with you. I'm just going to see if I could do this. Can. I'm I personalise a shower curtain. Yes, I can. A custom shower curtain. Al, what's your letterbox? Oh, my God.

Shower. On it. Do I want to spend a hundred, oh, I thought it was 107. It's only 17 pounds. All right, it's coming your way. Oh, God. How big is your shower? How big is the shower?

I literally not a clue. It's a bath, actually. It's a bath that we shower in. what's that in inches though seven I'll talk to Dave I don't know I don't know

I don't know I'll talk to Dave don't right I'll sort of how long is a bath in inches what depends on the bath oh about 60 inches

long it's not seven okay I would say it's a general average size bath so we could do 59 by 71 inches would you say that's big enough I do not buy me

or 65 by 71 I must stress that this is a one-off occurrence, okay. Normally, I remember, this has happened like once in, like, a few years, basically, okay? This is not normal. So that's why it's kind. I think it's because I was just like, oh, you know, and you do your best thinking in the shower. At least I do, anyway. I think it's because the only time run, I'm not.

I'm not listening. It's clear. creative thinking. I do my creative thinking. I do my creative thinking because it's the only time when I'm not like watching something

or listening to a podcast. So like my creative juices get flowing in the shower I thought sounded weird and then you start thinking about I don't know, I don't know how does a forgetful person become less forgetful

that's what I need really have you got like as a tablets for that? I take a mega three. There are shower curtains. what's your address no you're going to thank me

I'll tell you what I'll have it delivered here and then I'll bring it to you one day okay okay I said 43 pounds I mean that is cheeky because that's 18 pounds packaging do not spend 43 pounds I don't even think we have a rail

I've got 10% offer we've got a we've got a we don't have a rail we've got like a glass thing I don't even think I'll be able to put it up I'll get you a rail I'm trying to be Solutions Focus this 2023

I'll come back to it You really are I've noticed this You're like flying Thank you Thank you Is it just me that No it's not just me

Because I put it on Instagram That absolutely loads Excel I hate it But despite my hatred I made an Excel document And that should have been You're good I know

from this week that should have been your good i know i know i know but because you made so i should that was better i'm going to get the document up so i can describe to everyone listening can i explain why i did it why i'm in this this state i think i think it's a combination of things but i think the main thing is i've got this like guilt about the fact that when i go and have this baby i'm totally just like leaving you in charge of everything and i feel so guilty because like, it's going to be like a few weeks. So I was like, I just want to get on top of like everything I can now and be as helpful and productive and useful as I can now

and get all of this because we wouldn't have to be so organized if I hadn't gone and got myself knocked up. So, like, it would be right if we just kept going as we were, you know, week by week. But now I have to like plan stuff. So we're trying to basically like bulk, record a lot of interviews. So we can just do the GV. BAs together and then have some pre-recorded interviews just basically so that like because I have no idea what being a mother is going to be like but just so that like I can

like I don't know take a couple of weeks just to like chill out after she's born anyway so I made my spreadsheet and I think it's all right oh my God okay so it's okay so there's a mint green colour and then there's a deep future colour and it's the podcast I tried to do it in podcast colours I didn't get that is it oh my god right done it's even branded right what the hell i know and don't know how you've done this it's in an excel spreadsheet but like you it's a table and around the table is whiteness is like blankness there's no lines around the table i don't know how i did that either but thank you that's really good that's really good and i've uploaded it as a google doc so that you and jenny and daisy

and everybody and at the top i've got a tally going actually to amend that to say you do how many guests we've got out of how many we need booked it's not a great number at the moment but I have been busy doing the Excel so next task is filling the Excel honestly I'm so proud of it but I stand by it

I fucking hate Excel I'm such a child I'm like can you see this yes I can yeah okay I'm still amazed that that can work but anyway I know in a joint Google Doc so far there's probably someone else in here like Jenny or Daisy being like yeah it's like who's there

you're about to type back to me yeah hi al hi am i'm i yeah they've lost it so yeah that so impressed yeah basically we're determined not to take a break um i i must well i must stress that i have obviously said to um of course you can you can you're allowed to take a break no she didn't guys she was just like i don't care what happens to your fanny i want you up i want you working baby piece of cake yeah literally take a day off and get straight back to it you'll be You'll be grand. I think we've talked about this before about whether or not what you'd rather be able to tell the difference between a baby or a muffin.

We have and I can't remember what the conclusion was. It's hard to say. Just when you said baby a piece of cake, it was just like, oh, that's a, that's a mind-boggler right there. Oh, it's time to be real. No. Are you still doing that? Yes.

Yes, yes, yes. I thought it died. No, no, no, no. No, no. 203 is when I just do everything. like I'm going to tidy stuff I'm going to unpack stuff I'm going to make excels

I'm just going to be proactive I'm going to be real when be real says be real I'm going to be real okay ready smile thanks thanks stun stun stun oh god well you know what I just

you look it's just me and my mum my mum's making what the fuck she's making to be honest that looks horrible that looks like awful what is she having for them I'm so pleased I'm not there look at that

She's cooking right now. Oh, there's it gone. Oh, God, I just have a little rank. Is it like mac and cheese? No, my mom wouldn't eat mac and cheese. She's a chip-pee person. You know, she's a, she's a, she's a helper. A helper.

I can see, I can see coriander in the background. I just fucking love B-Rill. Look at her smiley little face. It's basically just, I just need B-Ril every day so I can see my mom. Because all she shares is one side of the camera is normally her face and the other side is normally a dog. and it's just the best thing in the world. I love that.

I did try and use it, but I couldn't figure out how to post the pictures. Oh, I love the. Be real's the best. And I literally only have my family and Ellie's family.

So I've got like Ellie's mom, Ellie's sister and Ellie and then I've got me, my mom, my sister. So it's like, I just got my house

and Ellie's house, basically. So can you see old, old pictures? No, just today's. Just today's. Wow.

It's the best. I just like, I don't want to say yes to most people. people, to be honest. I'm a bit, I'm a bit, because I just really like seeing my mom. Oh, I want to see your mom too. I'm going to follow her. Honestly, yeah, just be my mom's friend. I'll be what else. She'd love it. Anyway, have you got the entries for us?

10 minutes in, and we've done, no, is it just me? Yes, we have. Is it just me? Or do other people forget to wash in the shower? Yeah, or is it just me? Is everyone else hate Excel? But not everyone else. Some people fucking love Excel. I bet you love Excel. My Alex loves Excel. No, I can't, can't do it. I hate it. Okay, I'm going to kick us off. Kick us off. With, an embarrassing story hit me okay embarrassing story

no intro which is sad but that's okay um let's just say that she loves us my my mate is an online sex education and influencer and I've been editing her Instagram and YouTube videos as a little side hustle I was in a waiting room at a fancy Harley Street hospital

thank you medical insurance between two appointments and editing one of her videos this one was about squirting Her online sex creating job gives her health insurance. I'm obsessed with that. No side hustle. Oh, I was going to say. It was like, now I is a perk.

Yeah, it's her friend's videos that she's editing. Stunning, stunning, stunning, I'm really. This one was about squirting. I start editing the first clip, assuming the audio is coming through my headphones. After a couple of seconds, just after she's posed the question, is squirting just pitty. I pull out my headphones as sometimes the Bluetooth disconnect. and plays on my phone and I thought you know what considering the content let's just reassure myself that everything is fine but it wasn't fine the audio of the video have been

playing out loud in a waiting room in a fancy Harley Street hospital where I have been multiple times this year due to various medical issues so the staff knew me and I already stuck out mortifying I mean is squirting famously we know squirting is not just pee um that's the worst that's the worst I hate when things from my and the worst about it is not even what's happened. It's just the human response afterwards is so horrible. It's so like, oh, do you know what I mean? It's like everything just like prickles. It reminds me of when we were going to, we were in the waiting room, the IVF place. And Instagram never used to do this. So TikTok plays when you're open it. It plays loud.

But Instagram, you had to like click on the sound for it to play. So it was just, it was open and mute. It's a good old Dave. But then it changed, the app updated, so whereby you open it, and it opens in full volume. And I opened it, and it played the, you know, that, you see that trend on TikTok where they pick up the animals and they go, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And it's like, they've got maracas. And it's like, da-da-da-da-da, it's like a Spanish, it's like a Latin dance.

No, but I've enjoyed the rendition of it. Oh, what is it? Okay, I'm going to find, I will find a video. to you but um that was playing and you know and you're like you panic and then i was like it took me too long to think like do i either press the mute button or do i go off instagram or do i turn my volume button down and you know as you know it takes a while for me to think the panic's the embarrassing bit yeah everyone's like mm-hmm you okay yeah i didn't know i think that's the scramble the scrambles the embarrassing it's much more embarrassing than whatever

the content is it's watching the human Like, just their fingers stop working and their brain kind of explodes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you nearly drop your phone. You're like, oh, what the hell? Yeah, you know? Shit yourself about it. That's the worst bit.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah, if you just styled it out, if you were just like, oh, loll. I know. Work. It's not great that it's squirting. Work. Yeah, that's not, that's not good, hon. It could have been way worse.

It could have been so much worse. I don't think it could have been worse. Oh, Lord, it definitely could be worse. Okay. A few things. Deep breath. Yeah. Well, oh my God, so many things out. Imagine, imagine a whispered voice going, yeah, do it again. Tick on my balls. Okay, okay, yeah. Yeah. Or, um. Yeah, that sounds educational at least. Like, oh, we're learning. Is it just pink? Yeah, we're learning about squirting. Yeah, exactly. And also, and there's a kind of, there's a, there's a joy de vivre about squirting. Do you know what I mean? People might look at you and be like, oh, she looks fun. You know what I mean? Like, oh God, she's exotic in the corner. Like, you know, you know, it kind of is interesting. I reckon that's the first time that squirting has ever

been synonymous with joie de vivre, okay? And I just, I think there's a certain, love it. There's a certain something to it. Do you know what I mean? It's just, it's a little bit of, a little bit of, oh, whereas it could have been, it could have been so much worse. It could have been like, yeah honestly that makes you kind of exciting you know maybe it's what they say

it's that men want to be with you and women want to be you that's what it would have been that's one of those moments whereas if it had been just like what if it had been like a sad little voice being like yeah

sorry I'm not doing that I'm not doing that yeah I do not do that for free yeah no it could have been awful It could have been just like... I know what you mean. Yeah, it could have been sad. It's perfectly normal to...

Like, why is my penis throbbing? I don't know something like that. I don't know. Why is your penis throbbing out? I don't know. I've googled it a lot. I'm not sure. I've done to do the squirting.

We've lost it. Anyway, look, you know what? I just think it makes you sound... I think it just means you sound fun. Like, I mean, it's a bit of pick-me behaviour if you actually think too much about it. Okay, yeah, tell the waiting room that you can squirt. Woo!

Oh my God, that's so pick me. Yeah, literally. Look at how interesting I am. Look at all these other, look at all these women with things wrong with them, not me. The only thing I've got wrong with me is a squirdy vagina. TikTok is so, is like obsessed with pick me girls and like dissecting. Like every single time I open my TikTok, they're talking about there's like someone dissecting the video of a pick me girl and why it's picnic girl. There's a lot of it.

But I do think it's quite good that people are recognising what's up there. Definitely. Not what's up there. Yeah. I just feel a bit bad for some of them because... I think a lot of pic-mees don't know their pick-mey. It's a bit... It's cringe, but it's...

Yeah, and it's also like, we're just still blaming women and tearing women apart. And I don't know. I haven't worked out how I feel. I find the internet just, it's just, like, it's mad, like, and all the Andrew Tate stuff, we know, we never even talked about it on the podcast, but... Greta Thumburg, this is why. you recycle your pizza boxes, I fell to the ground. What a start to the year.

What a queen. What a queen. I'm so interesting. I'm so, I'm so upset. You know, I do think we'll look back one day at the treatment of Greta Thunberg and just be like, what the fuck was that? I know. She turned 20 this week.

And I genuinely, the fact that she's been, like, the punching bag for all these old men, grown men ripping the shit out of a child going for her appearance and like, are we okay? Like, we don't look back on that in 30 years and be like, well, that was horrific. Obsessed with her. Like, actually obsessed with her.

With hating her and just making her feel small. Like, it's just, what the fuck? Pathetic. Like, live your lives, guys, seriously. Right. I have, I have, this is kind of an embarrassing story, right? But it comes with and is it just me then I would actually die to talk to you about.

When I got this DM, I was just like, oh my God, this is something I've never talked about with you, and I would love to know how the light family handled this situation. I cannot imagine one topic that we have not covered. No, I just want to know specifically how you and your sisters and your parents deal with this, because when I imagine the situation, it's horrifically. Probably not very well.

Fun for me to think about. Okay. She says, congratulations on the live show. It looks like a blast, and you both look like goddesses. I am delighted with that photo play. Thank you so much. So I have a fun, awkward for you. Not so much fun for me.

The other night I was at my mum's and her partner, who was in his 70s, decided to put on a film. And what does he select? Lady Chatterley's lover, the new Netflix one. I have memories of the story from A-level English, but hadn't actually read the reviews. And let me tell you, it was raunchy with a strong... so I think she's saying it was raunchy you know no that wasn't very strong hang on I'm gonna go it was raunchy no that's a good one that was a good one thank so much god it's really hard to breathe when like the kids starts going up into your lungs and I'm

like oh my god look like I can't breathe um growing up into your lungs I don't think that's normal but okay no they take up a bunch of space anyway anyway the film starts oh look at Emma Corinne. Aren't they lovely? Etcetera. Oh, great. A sex scene. Oop. Another sex scene. Oh wait. Now she's shaking her lady bits in his face. Oh God. Now they're dancing full frontally naked as the day they were born in a rainy field.

Honestly, why? I wanted to die. My mum was chortling in the background, pissing about on her iPad. Her partner was watching it. And I was looking at him from the corner of my eye, willing him to fall asleep and awkwardly pretending to scroll every time a raunchy nudie scene came on the screen, basically like 95% of the film. I was willing myself to get up and go and read a book, but for some reason I couldn't move. This overwhelming feeling of inertia came over me

and basically pinned me to the sofa. It was one of the most uncomfortable 127 minute blocks of time of my life and just so awkward and embarrassing, and I don't know why I didn't or couldn't just remove myself from the room. Oh, I have to know. What do you do with your family if a sex scene comes on? You're going to laugh. Everyone grabs a cushion and puts it up in front of their face

Until the sex scene's over It's an actual miracle that Jen has a baby Like it's a miracle that she knew what to do It's a miracle that my mum and dad had babies Honestly I just don't get it Like I don't get it Is it do you have like assigned pillows What happens to your husbands when you do this

Is it just the women have to like cover their little delicate eyes Does your dad do it too? Oh my god does your dad do it too No, dad's like, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. Oh, my goodness, he doesn't have a pillow. You all just have to cover your little lady eyes and then your dad has to turn it off. Basically, yeah.

Oh, my God, that's so much worse than what I thought. My mom had a very religious upbringing and a lot of it has, you know, over time dissipated, but there is a lot still that remains. and SEX as we call it in our household is still very much a taboo subject oh my god that's so much better than I would have hoped for it's so sweet as well like it's just you know

she just really struggles with it she struggles with all of it she struggles with like period stuff and and like I'm waiting for my I'm waiting for my period because I want to do another round of egg free of freezing and it's not come yet obviously I'm still waiting because it's so regular. And on the phone this morning, mum said,

any sign of the P word. Oh. You should have replied being like, yes, I had a very big P, thank you. David Pee-ness is out this morning. I was like, oh,

do you mean period, mom? And she's like, yeah. It's like, oh. Bless her. Oh, my God, your harm should be protected at all cost. So precious. The P-word.

Oh, no. Oh, God. I just, like, it's so bad that I talk to you about white for my bum hole so much. I mean, I've literally just sent you a photo of my vagina and like, you've got to, you've been living two different lives. I mean, I hope my mum's not listening to this, but I very much, I'm not in the same, you know, I'm not in the same zone as her in that sense. And I talk quite freely with my friends and stuff, but not with my family.

When you went home with Dave, do you cover your eyeballs? No, no, I love it. I'm like, oh, what's going on here? kidding you've got so much like um curiosity to um like no to explore you've got a whole world i know how funny that's such a good mental image i'm so excited by it and this is this is why i can never talk about SEX properly on the podcast or on instagram because i couldn't do it to my mom i just can't no no i wish i'd have known i've sent you a vibrator to your montast for christmas oh my god But, like, you know, things that, like, would be funny and then things that just wouldn't be funny, like, that would, like, not be funny.

Like, it wouldn't go down well. Yeah, it would be, like, really bad. Oh, that's so funny. Oh, God, that's nothing worse than watching a sexy with a family. It's actually, like, I mean, with my mum, it's really chilled. But in child, like, particularly now we're all grown-ups, because you know what my mum's like. No biggie. But there's just still that just, like, where your shoulders and your ears.

I mean, I feel like it's awkward whoever you watch it with except like maybe a partner but like if I watched it with my sister that would like even if I watched it with a friend because it's like it's just uncomfortable

yeah do you talk do you remark on the happenings of the screen? Oh I normally do I'm a new I'm gonna oop oop you're a new girl yeah ooh

I think I just can't bear the awkward silence so I'm just like talk about it. Or I just sit and play my stupid game on my stupid phone, make it end. I understand why that girl felt immobile in that moment because... Oh, because if you get up and leave, it's too old. That's why you're getting up to leave. That's incredibly awkward.

I would rather say there. Yeah, because getting up and leaving is acknowledging the situation to the extent that you're, like, you're acknowledging your discomfort. Don't do that. You can't know, exactly. No, why are you uncomfortable? Oh, my God. Oh, is it me that's making uncomfortable?

And then it's like, why do you feel uncomfortable? This is your family. How do you think you were... Hide your discomfort at all costs. Yeah, no, I get that. You've got to pretend it's not happening. I'd have stayed as well. No, I get it, yeah.

100%. Yeah, to leave would be foolish, in my opinion. To leave would be very... Because also, where would you go? Then you'd just have to go and stand up in the room and just read a book, and then they'll come out and be like, why did you leave? And it'd be like, because I... And then you've got to acknowledge the sense again.

You could say, I need the Lou, but like, you know, Everyone knows what you do, you know, we all know. Well, you might, yeah, they might have, they might have suspected you for going off for a wank. That would be the worry. Yeah, that is a concern. I mean, that's a big concern. She's gone off for a wank.

Classic. Oh my God. I just, I can't get the image of your poor mama. And every time I say one of these horrible things, I'm like, I should say this in front of normal and just see what happens. I won't. Like, I don't think I'll be invited over. I can guarantee she's never heard that word before in her life.

Whank? Yeah. Oh my gosh. She'll know what it means, but she won't have, like, no one will have said, like, I don't, I think she'll have heard wanker. But, like, in the context of masturbation, she will never, like, I honestly think she just dropped out on the spot. I just, okay. I mean, I know I'm never going to be in a situation where this is going to happen, but. So, fun story.

Just sorry, my mom's family under the bus today. my granny, my mom's mom back in like she was widowed when in the 70s when my mom's dad died when she was a teenager and then in the 90s

she was living by herself and the other man and my mom I can't remember when this happened but I think basically at some point during the 90s my mom was driving my granny somewhere and my mom got road rage and

called the guy in front of her a wanker and my granny said to my mum what's a wanker dear and my mum said well it's someone that would be pleasuring themselves and she went well how could you see he's doing that from here no wonder he's driving so badly and so she learned that word right and then a few months later it was Christmas

and my mum bought my granny a Sony Walkman to keep her company so she was listening to like audio books or music or whatever whatever it was at the time. And it was battery powered because it was the 90s. And she went to

the local hardware shop in the other man and asked the man for some batteries and she got her double you words mixed up and she said, I need some batteries

I need some double A batteries for my wanker. My daughter bought it for me because I'm a widow and I'm quite lonely and it really helps to pass the time. Oh, she meant

Walkman I actually Every time I see a walkman And I'm like Oh my God This guy just have been like cool Okay Yeah you do what you have to do

That's so good That's really cute So good, I know Oh my God You'd have loved my granny Oh She was like my mum with even less of a filter If you can believe it

I love that And I love it. Your mum was at our live show as well, and it was great because I was, like, not scared of saying stuff. Oh, yeah. Because she just doesn't care. No, but then if you'd met my granny, you would have understood. Really? Yeah. Oh, I love that.

I love that. Very chill. Yeah. No, good vibes. Good vibes. Yeah. Well, there we go. We've been talking shit for long enough.

Oh, God. I mean, I don't think she'd mind. Some of poor granny put her on blast like that, but I don't think she'd care. No, she'd probably love it. So fun. Thank you all for listening. And I hope you all enjoy the mental image for the rest of your life of the Light family sisters covering their eyes. Hang on, just a final detail.

Does your mum cover her eyes too? Oh, absolutely. Oh, my God. That's what you're all going to get for Christmas next year from me. Personalised modesty cushions. You can all have your own so that, like, God forbid, something saucy comes on the TV. Don't look. We can look after your eyeballs.

I tell you what you should get. Yeah, you should get like modesty masks and you can just have them on your forehead and then in case of emergencies you can just flippen down, like a sleep mask. That is far-fetched, but I like it. I like it. Thank you.

It's just food for thought. Just thinking about... I enjoy that. Thinking about a gift for the whole family. I think I need modesty ear muffs as well for this podcast. Well, my mum does, definitely. Bless it. Okay, guys.

Well, thank you so much for listening. We will see you on... Thank you. And Monday. See you on Monday. Bye. See you later. Bye-bye.

Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.