Should I Delete That? - Just Us: Are we all arguing with our partners?

Episode Date: May 7, 2025

This week, we’re discussing all things adulthood: the good, the bad, and the “oh god, no one’s coming to rescue me.” From the never-ending responsibilities to the realisation that the buck officially stops with you, we’re discussing all what it's like to be a responsible adult (spoiler: it’s exhausting)We’re also reminding ourselves - and you - why it’s so important to prioritise yourself. Al’s long-overdue facial is officially on the agenda.Plus, we dive into a listener email with a relationship dilemma and do our best to offer some honest advice (with minimal chaos). Got something you want to ask us? Slide into our inbox: [e-mail] And remember: die, cry, hate (with love) 💌Follow us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Dex RoyVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Emma-Kirsty FraserMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Should I Delete That? What are you doing? Sorry, please continue. I'm sorry. Hello, welcome back to Should I delete that? I'm Emplex. I'm sorry for fucking up again. So sorry.

Oh, God. Sorry. You're a disgrace. I'm a fucking disgrace. I'm so sorry. Right. We're just going to hold some space. Are you okay?

I'm okay. I am okay. I'm fine. Is this because of my absence on social media? Yeah. Yeah. I've been quite quiet, haven't I? Yeah, I keep getting messages from, like, my, not like internet people, but just like, it's all right. I was like, yeah, yeah.

Really? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the bed broke and then you were gone. Like, that was the last we saw of you. It's like, guys. I did ghost. I mean, the funniest thing was like, honestly, we had both Dave, Tommy and I, all three of us had The worst virus I've ever had in my entire life

I couldn't shake a fever for like five days straight could not shake the fever neither could Tommy, now they could Dave and you know when it's when the baby's ill with fever like the fever scares me with the baby it's like everything else like I can take it but the fever really scares me we just could not manage his temperature

while also not managing our own. It was a hell on earth and I posted this picture of us in bed and I think I said like we haven't gone to sleep yet we hadn't it was like 5 a.m. or something and we were just like literally like counting the minutes and I like uploaded it in the dark and just like press set. I didn't even think twice about it. I went on later in the day and all my DMs were like, oh my God,

you look so, I looked like I'd been dug up. Literally I looked like I'd been dug up and I'd been down under for a long time. I looked at terrible. I was like, oh my God, I looked like an actual corpse. I uploaded it and I just, poof, ghosted, forgot. I forgot. I did it. I was inclined to be polite there and be like, no, no, no. You looked fine. You didn't. I was like, great. Yeah, you sent it to me but it was the sweat. I think it was the sheen. You don't know, he'd been embalmed.

That's exactly what Dave said, actually. It was so rough. It was so rough. And like, oh my God, getting over it is just with him, he's on antibiotics now. Tommy, he couldn't shake it. Oh my God, it was just awful. And the bed broke, the bed broke in the midst of all of it. Did you think you were in it too much?

Dave, like, probably. Dave, like, came, we were about to go to bed and, like, Tommy was town and I was like, oh, my God, heaven, I'm going to watch TikTok. Like, I'm going to watch 15 minutes of TikTok and it's going to be just by myself, like, go away, Dave, it's going to be bliss. And then Dave flopped down on the bed and we both, like, tumbled into the middle of it. And I got the fright of my life, it was a horrible sound of all the slats breaking. That's crushing.

And we just sat there for ages just like, kind of looking at each other. And I was like, I don't know what to do. you know what to do and he was like no not really I don't know what to do you have you? No we haven't fixed it. No we haven't fixed it so it's not fixable it's completely broken it's an it's an old IKEA one that we've put up we've like disassembled and assembled too many times

it can't take it anymore it couldn't take Dave's little flop flop into bed so the final straw that's where that's where I'm at it's not being great no but we did say we were having a chat at the time I'm probably on the day and I was a little bit, a little bit worried about you.

I just don't think you're putting yourself first, but we said it was like, honestly, one thing a day for yourself, you've got to do it because you're working too hard, you're pulling yourself too thin. And if you don't, we will know because things are not, like, you were wearing it on your face.

I really was. It was like, you can't hide this from us anymore, Al. Wearing it on my entire body, honestly. Well, actually, I come back to you with some good progress. I got my nails done. I did notice that. proud of you. They look nice, don't they? Does it helps? Do you know what? Massively, like

psychologically, more than aesthetically. Yeah. It just, because I was saying to you, I was texting you, saying, like, I'm just, I'm not at the stage in my life where I can prioritize things like that, but at the same time, that upsets me not to be able to. And like, I don't feel good in myself for not doing things like that. Like my neck, like, I've, I know it sounds silly, but like, I've always had my nails done. Like, I've always, always had them done like every three weeks always. This is in my early 20s. I just love having them done. Not the process, but like them being

done. And I just you know, yeah. But you're losing, it's important. It's valid. You're losing little bits of yourself and it's important that you when you can or you make time. We tell, I mean, we said all this in a text, we don't need to do this now. But

you know, like you do need to prioritise yourself because because actually I had this really sad realization after this we will move the fuck on. But I had a big probably the day because I was like oh my god um like if I want to look after myself yeah like if I want someone to look after me that's not going to happen anymore I have to look after myself and then it was really sad for like a day I was like no one's gonna look after me I have to look after myself because I'm a mom now and then I thought okay like I had a cry for the day

and then the next morning I was like so what shall we do do you know what I mean like it's let's be practical now I'm going to go for a run because that's going to help yeah I know what you mean it's like there's nothing to there's no one to fall back on you got to do it. So if you want something done, unfortunately, you have to do it yourself. I don't think that's just being a mum, I think it's just being an adult. But sometimes it hits me. I think it's hit me like earlier, but, but, but it hits him, I think it comes in waves. Like the after shock of a tsunami. It does. Very occasionally, it's like, oh God, if I want something done, I have to do it myself. Well, it was like when Tommy Dave and I were ill and I was like, I can't cope is looking

after the baby right now, but I have to because there's no other choice because any other family, well, Mum and dad obviously live in Cyprus, but then, like, my sisters don't want to get the virus. I don't want them to get the virus. So I almost had this thing of like, but someone needs to help. And then I was like, but there's no one to help. But someone needs to help.

Yeah. But, yeah. Like, it lands with me. Like, that's, yeah, yeah. There's just nothing I can do in this situation. Yeah. He's got to keep on keeping on. Yeah.

You know what we need to do immediately? Therapy. Yes. And after that, the fridge magnet business, because this is the perfect opportunity. for a disappointing affirmation. Don't you think that would be good on the fridge? There is no one to look after you except for yourself.

Like, wouldn't that be an inspiring thought to greet you every single morning? The book ends with you. Exactly. The book stops with you. Yeah. Like, no one's coming to rescue you. Yeah. I want these so badly.

Me too. I mean, we've threatened it for long enough. I think we should do it. I think it's, now you're on board. I'm ready. I've been chomping at the bit with this incredibly lucrative business suggestion for a long time. I can't think of, I didn't even have a magnetic fridge, and I know the fridge magnets of the future. What was our one that we had, like, the antithesis of live,

laugh, love, love, love, uh, live, laugh, love, hate, cry, no, live, die, die, cry, hate, that's our, like, we should get that tattoo, never mind the fridge magnet. We could stop, we could do tattoo templates. Is that a thing? I need that on my body. that should be a thing we could all have the same tattoo definitely and it could be that on our lower backs actually no maybe not because that will put tattoo artist out of business really wouldn't it yes yeah um so that was a lot so that was a lot that was horrible so i've got my nails done I could give you some goods but I'd feel like it's not appropriate no I don't think it's kind why because you've just given me all those bad like I don't want to say here and be like it's not like

it's not that it's not bad bad I can't go my nails done no but like you know the bed broken and no one's coming to look after me. Bring us back up, come on. Give us a good. Oh no, I'm just good. I'm quite good. Your eyebrows look great. Oh my God, thank you for noticing.

I've been around the houses on these. Rick, go on. Well, I got them done. Laminated. Yes. Right. I had some big fear, trepidation, if you will. But I thought, like, did I talk about this?

Went on Lorraine that first time. Because I'm kind of like on Lorraine a bit now, which is kind of weird. I know. Talk to us. Yeah, well, that's kind of cool. What's going on? Basically, I just think. I'm at a point in my life where every instinct in me is like stay home, be at home with

the baby, wear leggings, and like just don't be perceived for a year because that's kind of like how it should be. And then I've somehow ended up with this incredible opportunity that I feel like I can't, you can't, you know, pass this up. Like I'm just, you know, so when the rain calls, you answer. You're not saying. I've been answering. And then I'm like, fuck, it's a lot of people who don't know me perceiving me. And I think I have talked about it. Anyway, I wanted to, I wanted to feel good and I just didn't feel great. So I was like, the browse are going to be the answer. Anyway, got them done.

Yeah. When I got them done, I was like, I have made a horrible mistake. Well, they're not good at first. You look ludicrous. Is it, so lamination has always kind of freaked me out because they really push them up, don't they? Push them up. Stick them up.

And I've seen them done badly with lamination. As have I, which is why I was scared. They're my friend safe, got them done. I was like, wow, you look fantastic. I'm going to do what you did. Okay. Turns out my brows are a lot thick of it. and has, where you don't realize how thick they are until they put them up.

Oh, my God. So it was a lot. And I, as I left, I had that, like, sad, judgmental voice in my head, walking back to the car, being like, you absolute loser. What have you done? Like, it was really bad. And I sat at the car and I was like, I have great shame because I was so excited to have been getting them done.

So I said to Boy Alex and Emily, who we work with, I was like, guys, this is, you are, you know, this is going to be so good. And then I had to walk back into the house like hands over my eyebrow. And then they were like, no, they look great. I was like, how are you lying? Anyway, a couple of days. Yeah? I actually do really like them.

Settled down. They're really, really nice. They really look good. I know a lot of people won't like them as is they're right. Please don't tell me. But the only thing is, is you have to keep brushing them up. Why? When they come, if you put, for example, pull a t-shirt over your head, they come down.

Or do they? Like, you know, like sort of curtains in like the 1970s with that, like, frilly bit at the top. That's not my eyebrows. Oh my God. Oh my God. Please can we get a video, a photo? Yes, yeah, but if I bring them down now, I don't know, I'll get them back up again

and myself and Steve can't handle that. You have to have a little spoolie everywhere you go. Do you? A little brow, just in case of emergencies. Like, when I go for a run, I have to keep one on the mantelpiece. Alex keeps removing it and I'm like, no, you don't understand. Like, I need one by the front door because, what, if they come down?

I think I should have trimmed them. I don't know. Look, I've got some working out. Are they, like, are they, like, up and stiff? No, they stay up and fluffy. That's, they stay stiff on the first day. Stiff sounds sexual I'm going to keep saying it

They feel stiff on the first day Yeah Okay But then they Then they're just normal eyebrows Has she taken some off the tails Yes Yes she has

Nice Because it opens you up a bit more I was starting to feel like a melted candle But I feel like I'm opened up Yeah do you know what They're really really good Thank you Really good

Yeah no I'm on balance How long do they last for Well let's wait and see But has she filled in No Is there anything I've put a bit in this morning. Okay.

She said, don't tint them and laminate them because you'll look intense and you might not want to look intense. So just do the lamination. Okay. Day to day, that works for me. And then when I wear makeup, I can put a little more, you know, fill in it.

Nice. Yeah. Love it. It's a lot, isn't it? Yeah. I want my eyebrows done. Okay. I really want them done.

Like, okay, you know, we said before but no one was coming to look after you. I, between my own two children, and we'll endeavor to look after you. Will you? Yes. I said this already. I want facials for you.

Yeah. I'll cut. Like, if I have to, I'll come. It's only fair. Brows. And I was going to do nails with in that because I haven't had a pair of years since before Xanthi was born and I am ashamed. That's despicable.

No, it's not. It's fine. Your toenails grow at like, I've read to the start about this the other day. It's like a third of the speed of your actual nail of your fingernails. How funny is that? Why? Because it has some like. I might need fact checking, but it's very fast lower.

I'd like my hair done it as well my hair really needs dying That looks lovely Can you see the roots though No My hair needs doing It looks lovely But but yeah

I'll get to that I'll get to that Bit by bit Bit by bit I'm compelled to sing I'm pleased you stop me Did you watch any London marathon stuff?

Yes Did you get flashbacks I did I actually I think I do need to go to therapy Because I loved watching everyone Running so much But I think I had this like I was inspired by it but I wasn't I was jealous but I was just a bit like I just realized

like how far how far away I am from what I was exactly this time last year right do you know what I mean and I just it kind of because because I found out I was pregnant the day after the marathon it kind of felt like the marathon was the last of myself I saw for a while and then I just and I know I was pregnant so like I'd have lost my fitness anyway but I think from like I just felt like Like I really, I was one person at the marathon, and then I was another person by the end of the pregnancy. I don't know. So I just, I was quite emotional.

It felt like a marker. It did feel like a marker in time. It was like, basically a year since I found out I was pregnant. Yeah. And like it was just quite a traumatic year in lots of ways. So I think it just, you're doing so well with your running though and you're exercising. That's so well. Thank you.

Yeah, I'm running so quick. And I've got the time. This is my mum's could just, she just rule the world. I haven't got the time. I had 32 minute. window this morning, like in a childcare window, I was like, I've got to go. Like, I've got to get back within 32 minutes. I was running like my life depended on it. I love this. I know. I was so smoke behind me. I love this. I mean, anyone who watched me run was probably like,

that's a nice case. Like a nice Tuesday morning job for her. But in your head, you're like, Mo Farrah. It was ridiculous. Yeah, I set a world record this morning. No one knows about it. What's that cartoon? Oh, Speedy Gonzalez. Is that the cartoon? That's just me. it's me if you google that it's just a photo of me pops up that that marathon photo of you do remember the terrible ones from a few years ago gravity is savage you know we don't talk enough about it if you catch it at the wrong point it's like woof you know what I mean I would not like to be photographed running it's I don't like to be photographed stationary I don't want to be photograph running when they get you in a good way you're on top of the way if you're

if there's a good photo of you're running you're like fucking hell a gazelle Like, do you know what I mean? It's amazing. But they are so few and far between. I don't fancy it for myself. We have an email. An email. An email. Shall I read it out? I love that. Hi, M. Al and the whole podcast gang. Vondurno.

Absolutely adore the pod and have been avid listener from day one. Oh, God. You've kept me company on my commute to work and driving around listening to the two of you really feels like a catch-up with the girls. You are ready for the fridge magnet, so she's been here for day one. Yeah. My first customer.

Sadly, I am writing in with a pretty hefty relationship dilemma. For context, my boyfriend and I have been together for seven and a half years. We've lived together for six years and I made the decision to relocate two hours away from my life and family to be with him. If you'd asked me a year ago,

then I would have said that we had an extremely strong relationship. We are well-matched in so many ways. It's hard to name them all. The crux of the issue is that I've always wanted to move away to somewhere more rural. Think lakes and mountains, that kind of thing. And when we have talked about it previously, that's always been a plan for the future, you know, one day when the stars align. However, at the end of last summer, there was an incident in my partner's personal life that sent him into a bit of a spin and all of a sudden he was happy that we were going to

just do it and realise the dream and move now. I recognised at the time that he was not in a good place, so I was reluctant to let myself believe that he meant what he was saying, I'm planning for us. But as time went on, I couldn't help myself. I wanted to believe the dream. This was short-lived, however, over the next few months I could see he was feeling less and less comfortable with the promises he'd made to me. When I directly asked him if he had changed his mind, he denied it until last night. Our communication has been getting worse and worse as the topic feels like an off-limits conversation because neither of us could agree on what we wanted, but last night it all came to her head. He finally admitted that he wants to stay where we are

and does not want to move away. I appreciate his honesty, but now I don't know what to do that's best for myself. Over the past six years, I've made countless compromises and sacrifices for the life that we have here. But this is a life that I am not really happy with and doesn't serve the person that I am today. I also don't think that my partner has made the same level of changes. For context, I live two hours from my family and friends, but we live in the same village as his friends and we can see his workplace, which he loves from the front window of his house. If this was one of my friends, I know I would tell them to put themselves first and stop compromising on the things that they wanted from life, but it is so much harder to be on the other side of that.

I really don't know how this ends, so any advice, no matter how rogue, would be massively appreciated. I'd like to caveat this story by saying that I know this is a massive first world problem it may seem so trivial and straightforward to some people but at the moment I really cannot see the way forward and I just feel awful lots of love well first of all it's not it's not trivial

and it's not straightforward at all this is complicated and I can see how you are in such a dilemma this is really really difficult you're stuck between a rock and a hard place I think she's got to go yeah i think that's where i land as well but also like but there are steps in between there there are and like i don't want to like i don't want to like oversimplify or invalidate how you're feeling because it is huge i think you said two things in that email that made me think you need to

go the first was when you said you can see his workplace from his house and you didn't say our house you said his house which felt oh well picked up on felt something and then you said if one of your friends you'd say put yourself first yeah and it's like and it's not who you are anymore and it's like you've got to go and I and I do believe that if things are meant to be they'll be like because I kind of feel like you have to believe that yeah because otherwise what's the fucking point I put that on a fridge magnet but what's the fucking point please can that be your first one but I do think like if you don't put like Jesus yeah I mean a bit of synergy here but like if you don't put yourself first no one is going to and the thing is right it's like the your dream is living

somewhere else right and your dream is living in the mountains or living by the lakes or whatever you have to put that first if his dream is you he will make that happen and he will come to you and he will make that happen but you know what your dream is and you're not a bad person that your dream right now isn't him and it isn't the life that you live there like it is okay to be selfish with your own life it's not selfish I don't even like that word but to to put yourself first yeah to honor it on your self yeah or at the very least there needs to be some kind of compromise currently there's no compromise for him he's living right by his friends and family he's living right by his workplace he's settled he's happy you're not no and

that's at the crux of this like fundamentally you are not happy and that's not going to change that's only going to I mean now it's just a seed and it's probably it's going to grow and the resentment will grow and what does Jacqueline say about resentment it's like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die yeah yeah because I do hear a lot of resentment in there not it's not explicit and it's not a bad thing either it's not a bad thing at all no because she has made these big sacrifices for him, but it's his turn to either make them for her. And if he's not willing and prepared to do that, then I think, I do think she has her answer. I also think you need to do it irregardless of what he does. Like, if you do this as like a game of chicken or you do

this as a game of like, right, well, I'm going to go then and call his bluff and say, well, I'm going to go and then hope that he comes around to it. And you make this big gesture as like a, we, well, we need, or even, I personally, I do agree that compromise, there is a place for compromise but I think in a situation like this could be that neither of you win you know I often think if it's like a like a choice between a city and a countryside life and you end up in like a commuter town it's like well who won here because you've got the like and that works to some people obviously but like if that's the compromise it's like do you want to like sort of play with your dream here or do you want your dream and like and I think you need to just work out what

you want and it's like if you want him badly enough that you're willing to compromise your dream, then there's space there. But if the dream's the dream, then live the dream. And that's what I think, and I think you have to, you have to, like, ascertain how big that dream is. And you're exactly, like, how big it feels compared to him. Yeah. And it's okay for that dream to be bigger than him and your relationship with him.

And it might not be for it, if it's like, if he's not right right now, it doesn't mean never. If you go right now, it doesn't mean you can't come back. I mean it might mean that if he gets all bought but but like it doesn't it's not that binary I think her first step I really do I think her first step has to be to communicate with him like I don't want to do this this is the life for you this is the life that you want it's not the life that I want I think she has to communicate that first and see where he's willing to take it from there because I'm imagining her listening to this and being on the receiving end of this and thinking fuck this is this is all sounding so scary

you're, you're, I don't know, I'm just like, I'm freaking out thinking about being, you're such an empath, this girl and like listening to this and I don't want to, I don't want it to feel scared. So like, I think that should be the first step is just like communicating to this to him very clearly, even if it needs to be in the letter. Oh, good. If you need to like, write it all down and like exactly, I get out exactly how you feel. But like, you're allowed to have your own wants, your desires, your needs, your dreams. And it's okay if that dream isn't.

living in the same town as his friend with his workplace on your doorstep. Yeah, fuck no. It's okay you have bigger dreams on that. And it's your right to explore them and decide what you want. I think you're right about the text or letter or whatever as well. Like I genuinely overshare about my marriage, I have to wait until we've had an argument. And then I'm just like, well, I'll fix it over text later. There's just no point in trying.

We're too tired. If we try and do it with our words, we'll get it wrong. tones important, you know what I mean? Like, you just need to walk away and then send a text later, put your feelings down, they put their feelings down, and then we're resolved. If we try and do it, we're talking, I'm just going to send you a text. I hear what you've said. I have made a note.

Someone will be back in touch later today. But that's the beauty of like writing things down and having the time and the space to work out exactly what it is you want to say. And like giving them the words that you really do stand by. Yeah. Nothing comes out that's like flipping or an off the cuff comment. It's like everything's considered and thought out and you can, yeah. Because we do take things so personally.

Yeah. You know, like, again, sorry, like just massively talking about your, you're putting scenarios into your situation here. But I imagine if you say to your partner in a voice, like, oh, I don't like being close to your friends and family, the instinct is to be defensive. It's, well, you don't like them. Well, you like them enough last week and, you know, like,

these are my people and whatever, and it's like, you're not saying you don't like them. You're saying you don't. want to live next to them for whatever reason, for another reason. Nothing to do with them. It's nothing to do with them. But we do take things super duper personally in the moment. And then before you know it, you're fighting about the wrong thing.

And she's also, yeah, well, yeah, exactly. I spent my life fighting about the wrong thing. I'm like, how do we get here? This is a nightmare. Do you think that when you're in a conversation with someone or an argument? You're like, oh God, how's this happened? This is the very last thing I wanted to happen today. We were watching, I think we were watching Black Mirror last night,

the final episode. The new series. I had to keep taking breaks. It's really, really good. And they were like describing someone and like the way that they like to go through life is like hashing everything out all the time like saying how they feel talking about it.

And Dave just looked at me and he was like, that's you and it's exhausting. And I was like, it is, isn't it? And he was like, help it. Because I can't. Dave will just, Dave will happily take space from an argument like and just be like, I just need to collect

my thoughts and get my head together and I'll just follow him around the house I'll just pest him I'll just follow him around being like please can we resolve this like please please please can we resolve this like I'll just I'll immediately I can't bear it I can't bear the lingering no I can't sit with it. So have you that stormed out Dave have of you? Oh I mean if I've have I've come straight back like that's not my style at all well I will storm out I'll storm out of a room and like make a big deal out of storming out and then I'll just come back in and be like but why didn't you say anything back to that? Why don't you come after me?

How soon once you've left the room do you go back into the room? Like minutes. I just sit and like bubble over and I'm like, I can't, I can't. Zero chill. I can't go to sleep when when, if we're, if something's like not right between us. Really? I can't. I can't.

That's why you don't sleep. I can't. Oh my God, Al. That's tiring. Can't cope. How do you resolve it with your words or with texts? With words. God, that's good.

Yeah. I'm impressed. Yeah. I just like keep coming back in until he's like, okay. Do not leave me out. How do we need to get over this? I respect your tenacity though. That's nice.

Like that is a commitment to the cause. It's a good thing. What do you do? Do you storm off? No, because I've got, I'm breastfeeding. You cannot storm off when you're breastfeeding. It's so annoying. Oh, my God.

You just start. like a sitting duck and then he can storm off and I'm like right well I'll just send you a text so like that's probably hot when you have a child in general it's so impossible it's so impossible because you have to do it in a nice voice I think I told you about the time that me and Dave had this like really big argument but he had Tommy in the sling and you know what it's like when the baby's in the sling I'm constantly like is he breathing constantly is he breathing so like Dave was working downstairs I stormed off and then I kept having to go back down and go into his chest

and like listen out for the baby breathing and then storm off all over again humanity prevails first and foremost I'm a good mother oh god it's exhausting it's exhausting yeah being a human is exhausting I know I always I know I wish I could just be emotionally

mature and just but I can't I am full to the brim of hormones and I just but I was a lunatic anyway you know so it's like Double loon. Alex always says that. He's like,

Babe, don't worry. You know, you're hormonal. I'm like, I don't think it's that. I'm gravely concerned that I am in fact insane. Pray for Alex.

No, mostly brave for me. Because he's like, he's like Dave, he can just, well, no, he can leave a room just like without saying anything.

Oh, I hate that. What on earth do you think you're doing? I hate that. You get back here and you tell me what you're thinking. And then he comes back to tell me, I'm like, well, I could have done without that. I guess for ruining my day.

Couldn't they get that to yourself, could you? I have never satisfied. Oh, God. But I honestly, God, I could listen to people. I wish people talked about this more. Do you know, it was one of the most relatable and encouraging pieces of content when you shared your things

that, like, things that I wish were normalized. And you shared your messages with Dave being like, you know, like, I know, like, I'm one of the best friends. I know, like, you know, right? they're like particularly when you have kids oh my god is that an ice cream is your ice cream I would fucking love an ice cream right now oh my god that's so nice I want to go back to marital woes but I can't about sound track oh do you think he's parking up I hope so do you think we should go it's obnoxiously loud

scrap don't be such a mcringe oh my god it's a lovely sound but I do need to make my point yeah go on do you hear on the microphone decks yeah of course you can it's the loudest thing in the world. Okay, well... Should I just make my point to this nice melody? Yeah, exactly. Can I make this point

to the nice melody? Oh, it stopped. Good, disappointed children everywhere, let me make my point. I do wish that people would talk about this more and like, because I know my rational brain

is like, having children is really hard. Remindment builds up. Never mind having children, actually. Scrap it. Being in a relationship, you live your life as a person, a complicated person

and you have to live with another complicated person and you expect to have no complications. Yeah. Impossible. But no one talks about the arguments. They don't talk about it. And I just wish there was a little bit more of that. A bit like, oh, you're sleeping in this pair of room tonight.

Did you know what I mean? Like just, I don't know. Because when you start talking to your friends about it, you can be like, oh yeah, this is a thing. Yeah. But no one talks about it online. I feel like it's our last big taboo and it's so annoying. It's so true. I think people are scared of like gossip that might ensue.

Oh, God, gossip if you want about me. I don't care. Well, yeah, exactly. I think that's what people are scared about but it's true that like having children does test like it is hard anyway in a relationship with someone and trying to live like a life with someone

actually we talked about this with Lorna Lorna Lux which was really interesting and she talked about how like her and John husband like have to like mold themselves around each other and like that's how they work their relationship out it's hard anyway but yeah when you add like babies into that it can be really really difficult

because then you have one shared goals And, you know, like, that's the, oh, I think it's complicated. Well, actually, this actually brings me on to an idea that we've had. I ran it by you briefly in the WhatsApp. I don't think I've brought it up with you. Have I brought it up with you? I think we should get the husbands back on the podcast. Yes.

But then we thought maybe we should bring a marriage counsellor as well. Yes. And just chat with a marriage counsellor among the group. So good. I just think it would be really interesting because I feel like this isn't. So interesting. I think it's really important. I want to know about your attachment.

I want to know why you're following Dave around the house. I want to know why you're, you know what you're what you're running from you know what i mean i think we should talk about this shit why have i got to do everything over text i think it's gonna be excited oh my god let's do it i think it's gonna be really the boys are not going to want this at all i mean dave's gonna be like this is the worst idea you've ever presented to me don't don't fucking tell him i'll just be like oh it's just a catch up back on the pod yeah yeah okay and they walk in the thing is Alex is our manager we can't hide it from him

no he will know but dave yeah yeah good my yeah if anyone's got any suggestions for a good marriage counselor I don't think I follow any actually on Instagram I don't know is it a thing that would get the tongues wagging I'm saying I was following if you're following marriage yeah that's true on a serious note though I would actually say to the original email alert I would also take this to therapy if I were you yeah if you feel that you've had a communication breakdown and you aren't able to have this conversation with him in a way that you feel it's going to be conducive to an outcome that's going to make either of you happy take it to therapy yeah because they will just just help you communicate with one another, which does sound important, yeah. Which is huge, yeah, yeah, okay. Lots of love to this girl. And for me, I hope to hear one day that you're living by a lake and you're really happy and you chose yourself. Please keep us updated.

Please keep us updated. We love it when people send follow-ups through. Oh my God, it's the best. It's so good. It's the best. Normally to know that not everything's on fire, we haven't ruined their lives. We should read every follow-up out that we get. No, because they're going to be like, you fucking bitches, you idiots.

give me the worst advice everything's awful now i was really happy until i did what you said bad for the brand if you want to share a follow up with us no or even a follow no what's not a follow up if you want to share a follow up or a yeah or a what's the opposite of being a chase sir no an email a face like an email if you want to send us an email um if you want our terrible advice we are on should i delete that pod at gmail dot com or you can dm us at should delete that i've really enjoyed this Thanks. No worries.

I thought this has been cathartic. I agree. Yeah. Yeah, cool. See you next week, guys. Bye. Love you. Bye.

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