Should I Delete That? - Just Us: Cannes nudity ban, hair loss and a drainoscopy

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Greetings loved ones! Happy Al’s Got A Fringe Day to all who celebrate!It’s been a big week for us - not only has Em’s had a man look up her drain - but we’ve also been loving seeing your comments on Monday’s episode with Laura Bates. We’ve decided to continue the conversation on this Monday’s episode with a very exciting interview… which seems especially pertinent in light of the Gérard Depardieu being charged for sexually assaulting two women - and Cannes Film Festival announcing their new red carpet nudity ban. Why is the landscape for women becoming more and more difficult - and how can our use of language help us to overcome it? If you want to join in the conversation - you can email us on [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Dex RoyVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Emma-Kirsty FraserMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Greetings, loved ones. Oh. I enjoyed that. Thanks so much. How are you doing? I have a fringe. You've got a fringe. Yeah, I do.

You look so good. Did it right on a fucking whim? Did your mum do it? No, absolutely. Never again. Never again. No, I got my hair highlighted. And then she was like,

want to trim. And I was like, yes, please. And then I was like, do you know what? Four inches off the front. Just fucking cut in a friend. She was like, are you sure I've got got any pictures? And I was like, nope. It looks really good. Just do it. I think it makes the rest of it look thicker and longer. Yeah, it does. But why? That's so weird, isn't it? Because I was like, oh, maybe I'm taking away thick. I've taken away thickness, but it kind of does. It looks really, really nice. Thanks. It looks really good. I think you've made a really good decision. Thanks. I just thought, why not? How are you feeling about the rest of it? My hair? Yeah. Or lack of. Do you know what? Do you know what I might

I'm actually feeling so, so, so much better. I don't think I talked about it last week. No, I didn't, did I? Have we talked about it? No. I talked about it online. I talked about it online. I'm proud of you for.

Yeah, well, might as well. I shared everything else in my fucking life. I, oh my God, so I recently, like, I was just, down my parting, I was doing my hair and I was like, oh my God, I think that's a ball patch. Just a, it's a tiny one, tiny one. So I said to Jen, we should check it for me. And she was like, yeah, I didn't think. Maybe it's all your sunglasses have been rubbing.

So it's like, okay, well, you check the rest of my hair. And then she was like, oh no, there's some like ball patches around the back. So obviously, cute, absolute panic. And then I went to the GP, which was actually the wrong thing to do. Was it? Well, I don't know if it's the wrong thing to do in general. But for me, in that situation it was because she didn't really know anything about alopecia. She kind of Googled it.

And she was like, okay, there's a chance that you could. I hate it when doctors Google things with you there. There's a chance that you could get alopecia totalis or universalis, which you can gather what that means. Yeah, like you lose all your hair everywhere. And she was like, it is rare, but it can happen. And obviously all I heard was it can happen. But also, that's information that was available to you before you got there.

Before going, yeah. And I thought maybe she could do like blood tests or something. I don't know. But she was just like, just let us know if any more happens. So I obviously was like, that is really bleak on like what's going to. going to happen. I'm going to lose all my hair. Like I was just not prepared for this. It's come out the fucking blue. So I messaged Nadine Baggett, friend of the podcast, previous podcast guest. And I was, because I knew she's so good at anything like that. So I was like, Nadine, what do I do?

And she's like, go to Philip Kingsley. It's like a hair specialist salon in London, hair loss specialist. And they, so I went and it was, it was really good and so reassuring. I spoke to a dermatologist, sorry, a tricologist called Laura, who was amazing. And she was just like, it's pretty sure it's like stress induced. Which isn't surprising. Like you were under a lot of stress. Yeah. And also maybe something to do with the fall.

Like I'm convinced it's something to do with the fall. Because that felt so traumatic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Physically traumatic. I'm not entirely sure what it was or why. But, yeah, it is what it is. Do you have like long term treatment or did you just have one appointment where they're like? The difficult thing is it's like it's hard to know what will happen next.

Okay. Like I could get more patches. the patches could get bigger or they could completely grow back. So I don't really know. But do you know what? The thing is, is, is I, and she said to me, like, I just don't know how long it's going to take for the hair to grow back. And I was like, I actually don't mind that as long as like, oh, my hair is not falling out.

Yeah, you know, which is what I initially thought might happen because I just had no white, I had no clue about alopecia. I've never. No, well, we interviewed, we have interviewed someone with alopecia. We interviewed Laura on the pod a couple of years ago. Yes. And I hadn't realized, actually, until following Louis through, that there are stages or, and because now people are speaking about it, like Brianie Gordon's got it. Cass Crossley, who we interviewed as well, who talked about it briefly.

Yeah. Yeah. But I think I hadn't really, but Louie through, who I want to call Louie, like I'm on a first name basis, but I have no right to do. Sorry, as I was. Liv Through to you. Quite right. So he, he's been sharing his journey about it. it. Has he got alopecia? Yeah, because he was releasing eyebrows. I think he had the microbladed,

but he's been sharing quite a lot about it. Oh, wow. Yeah. So, look, you're in good company. Do you know what? It's really common, like, way more common than I realize. I think that's what I mean. I think it's like, I think it's like one in eight women across their lifetime will experience some form of alopecia. There's loads of different forms, which I didn't even know. There's like thinning from everywhere, like, like, like disperse thinning. Yeah. There's like thinning where it goes back on the forehead. There's just like tons of. a different types of alpecia. Wow, okay.

Which I just had no idea about. But it's way more common than I realized so many people, so many people messaged. Do you know what? It helped when I put, so first of all, I just put up a story about it. And then I got loads of people saying like, oh, this happened to me. I got patches and then I lost all my hair. So I was like, okay, I'm putting a boundary down now. I was like, you don't, no one needs to message me.

You don't need to reply with anything. Like anything, any. I don't need like, don't worry about it. any like solutions or suggestions or even sympathy like I just don't worry but please do not message me with your words do not message me with those like with like what would be my worst case scenario in this like I'm just coming to terms of this yeah I just don't need to hear that like yeah I lost all my hair but like you know you'll be fine like I can't I can't be there right right now like if it happens it happens you know I would deal with it but like I just yeah

People can't help it. I put up that thing being like, please tell me I'll sleep again on Instagram the other day, like at like 4 in the morning. And obviously like overwhelming, 95% of people are like, of course you will. And then there are 5% being like, I hate to break it to you. At 12 years in and I still have slept tonight. I've got teenagers and now I'm anxious because they're probably out doing drugs. And I'm like, okay.

For that, I can take some CBD and just wish for the best. You will sleep again. As it currently is, I got, yeah, no, obviously. You will sleep again. You know, it's fine. I don't know something like that. Just, you know, people, people's DMs. I know, they just can't help it.

Yeah. It's funny, isn't it? It's a strange kind of compulsion. Yes. To share, like, bad things. I just don't get it. I don't get it. Like, it's strange.

But you're not on your own, which is nice. Most people are completely lovely and supportive. And most people probably have happy endings. Not that kind. Definitely. Maybe, maybe. Each to their own. It's probably different clinic in London for that.

No, but yeah, I feel so much better and like, yeah, I can... Well, you haven't wanted to talk about it. No, I haven't, I haven't wanted to talk about it. Which is completely fair enough. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, fair enough. Yeah, but it's, it is what it is. It's fine, it's fine.

Okay. And I'm starting out the patches. I'm lucky that the big ones are underneath. They're on, like, the nape of my neck. Yeah. So they're hidden. Yeah. And the one on top is like a baby one.

You just wouldn't know. You honestly, I promise you would know. Yeah. And I've been looking. Now when I see it, I'm like, oh. I'll show you. I will show you. I will show you. No, no, no, don't.

No, I'll show it. I'll show you. Thanks, but I mean, like, you know, like, you know, I was curious. We can't see it. You can't see it, I promise. Okay, thanks. How are you? I'm okay.

My hair in update feels a little bit trivial by comparison. Please, please, please, please. But I'm actually really upset. I went to go and get it cut. You know, after the bleaching incident. Yeah. I went to go, because it was feeling really, really bad. And I went to go and get it cut.

And the guy said that it all snapped off. He was like, at the top, he was showing me. He was like, I'm really sorry. it's just all gone. I was like, oh. I can't see it. I can't see breakage. I've ended up with layer,

basically like these really short layers at the top where I've never had layers like that. Do you know what though? The layers really suit you. Well, just as well because I've got them now. Thank you. The layers look good. I was, I tell you what, on the back of that, I was going to say a recommendation.

So I was really upset because I was just like, I just, whatever. And he was really honest with me. And he's like, I realistically think it's going to take until Christmas for you to start feeling like it was for it to start being like. it was and I was like oh god that's ages but then I was like you know what's really upset me because it's like that's just one bad day like one accident has and it wasn't even like he didn't even I know it was a bit gutted but it's fine I decided to be proactive anyway so I just said to him I was like I'm gonna like just tell me tell me what to do and I will do everything and he recommended

the K-18 stuff and weirdly my mom was talking to her hairdresser about my hair because she was obviously very concerned and she recommended the same thing and mom bought it for me this like the three piece set thing and I used it for the first time last night. A bit of an odd one because you use shampoo and you don't put conditioner in, you put this mask on and you just leave it which goes against everything. It's so hard

to get it. I've been using it for about a year now. Have you? Yeah. Is that why your hair's got so long? I do think it's... Have you been sitting on that piece of information this whole time when I've been going, God, your hair looks fantastic. No, your friend Sarah told me about it about a year ago. Well, did you tell me about it? I don't know. I presume that You knew.

I'm going to see her tomorrow. I'm going to be like, hello. Well, I saw it because it went viral on TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I can't remember why I was talking to her about it. And she was telling me how to use it. Yeah, it's about a year ago. So I bought it.

Her hair's got so long as well, you know. But I think that's why? It's saying the same to her. Looks great. Yeah, but why didn't she don't? God, your hair looks good. She goes off, thanks, mate. Fucking gatekeeping.

What, but like, it's a funny thing to get in her ground. I struggle with not using the conditioner, though. So you use it, sorry, people, listening, but it's annoying. You use the shampoo and then you come out, towel dry your hair, which I'm like, oh my God, I might as well have like a wire brush for a head. Literally. And then you put the conditioner in, but you don't brush it in for four minutes and then you brush it in. Yeah, you put the K-18 mask in. You leave it on for four minutes and then you brush it through, but you don't miss it out.

Do you know to rub it between the palm of your hands for 20 to 30 seconds? Didn't know that. You've got to do that until it goes really white. Ha-ha, did not do that. Okay, well, I'll do that next time. send you a TikTok video. But it feels all right, you know, like considering. It is supposed to be really good.

Yeah, I put it into it and then I selected a silk bonnet. Oh, yeah, nice. I've chosen a good time to not sleep in the same bed as my husband because I was not a vibe last night. He walked in on me. I had one boob out. I was working. So I was sitting in a nursing chair with my glasses on, my silk bonnet, a breast literally

on my lap and my computer out with a sleeping baby. I was like, this is a mess. This is a cautionary. silk bonnet though I got a pink one Do you have silk pillowcases Yes And then I got a new bed

Which I got new pillows for And none of the silk pillowcases fit And I haven't got it in me To spend a fortune on them So I got the bonnet instead It felt cheaper and easier Yeah Than buying all the pillowcases basically

Less sexy Maybe when Alex comes back in I'll do the pillowcases But for now bonnet I do love the silk pillowcases Because I actually initially bought them for my hair But now it's because

it's because they're so much cooler than any other suitcases, suitcases. And like, when it's so hot right now, I'm like, I just keep turning it over because it's just like, it's cooling, it's really cooling. That's nice. In this horrendous heat. I'm not doing this in you. No, I thought I was going to have to go outside at 3 a.m. last night. I thought it was going to have to go outside.

It's May. Like buckling. Because I was like, I need some respite. This is too hard. Well, this is awkward because one of the things I wanted to talk to you today about was I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to Greece with me. But I feel like now you're not. I would love to go to Greece.

Do you know how hard. Do you know how hot grease is? No, but you can't, it's aircon. I don't mind. As long as I've got the break. Okay, so we'll have a, okay, so I'll sit outside in Greece and you can sit inside in Greece. Perfect.

We can do the airplane together. Yeah, we'll do the flight and then have a nice time. Okay, that's why I was FaceTimbing you about the other night. You didn't answer. Me and Alex was like, let's go to Greece. Let's invite Al. I'm so up for Greece. And you're like, I'll call you back in a minute.

And then you didn't. Don't care. But I did find somewhere nice in Santorini. I'd love to go to Santorini. Me too. Is it kid friendly though? Yes, no, I found a kid friendly place. This is, this is, I was in the market for, because I went to Calcutt Spa.

Calcut, I went on a kid friendly weekend last weekend. Yeah. Completely changed my life. It looked incredible. Going places that are set up for kids. Oh my God. Game changer. Yeah.

I wish I'd known. So now, now I know. So we actually gifted that through tiny travel ship. Yeah. And I was looking on their website. Yeah. And like all the other places they've got. So they're like, uh, what's it called?

Like a, no, not a state agent. Travel agent. What is it wrong with us today? Suitcases, estate agents. They're a travel agent, but like for families. So they have, the only list places that are super duper kid friendly. So I was sick on their website and I was like, oh my God, I'm going here. I'm going here.

I really want to go. Quite lucky actually, because the place I was going to go on our honeymoon was on that place. And I was like, I'm pleased I didn't go. Yeah, that would not be the vibe. Because where I went on our honeymoon was not kid friendly at all. I just worried that the kids would like fall off the cliffs in Santorini, you know? they're very sharp, steep. I mean, we've cliffs here.

Do you worry often. Well, no, because where are our cliffs? Dover. And how often are we going to Dover? I don't know. How often you go to the cliffs for Santa Rini? It's not at the forefront of my mind. It's not just like, oh, no, another cliff.

Oh, no, another cliff. Like, you've got streets and restaurants and pools. It's not just like, it's not volcanic. All right, okay. Well, I'm very keen. I love Greece. Where would you like to go that's softer, flatter? Mikanos?

No, that's too party-party. You can't go there. I just don't feel sad. Oh my God, yeah. No, no. Not in the market. No, no. Would you feel, oh no, I would not feel sad.

I have such a demo. I feel like what I'm the same here? For Steep. I don't care. You know, I actually don't care. I want white, white bricks and blue-blue sea. Yeah. I want to be lathered in sun cream.

Green, green grass. Blue-blue sky. Okay. You basically just. sang that. I want white, white bricks and blue, blue grass. I don't think green famous for very green skies, but I mean green grass. It's not. It just reminded me of the song. Right. We've not talked about anything, yeah. We've been very trivial and frivolous and we're going to go into something quite heavy now. Well, before we do that, can we do some goods and bads and

orchards? Because I've got an awkward for you. I've got an awkward and awkward and I'm please, Dex is behind the curtain. Oh no. So I've got some drain issue. Close your ears, Dex. No, it's fine. Have a laugh. I, um, we had a, we had a, we had a, we had a, we had a, of a drain survey. Is it bum related? Sort of. We had to have a drain survey in the house. Okay. It's a problem with the drains. I hate this part of being an adult so much. This morning I thought to myself, my God, I love being an adult because I can just sit and drink my silly little coffee. Like, I had a, no, no, no, no, I didn't. I had this thought last night where I thought, God, I love being an adult because I walked through the house looking like an absolute trollop. Like I was just wearing tracksuits and I had a pint of cider and I was like, this is fun.

Like, I like, I like being an adult. You know what I mean? And then when the drains go, I'm like, feral. I hate this. This is so annoying. I've got to call people. I don't know what to do. It stinks. It's going to be expensive. Whatever happens. Anyway, drains weren't draining. So we had to come have a drain survey, which is when they put a CCTV in the drains. No, they do not. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. What? They put like a camera, like the one they put up your bum or whatever, but like through the drains. Like a drainoscopy. Exactly that. Oh my God. If they're not calling it that already, they absolutely should be. Yeah. But I had to of drainoscopy at 8.30 in the morning. And I was like, I need a poo.

Like, before we got there, I was like, what do you do? I was like, how quickly will it leave the premises? Oh my God, because they're going to see it. She's like, when am I going to have it? It was really stressful. Did you have it? I did. And thank God he was late. So I've hoped, but I've got no idea. I couldn't Google. Like, how long does it take like a poo to leave the premises? Like, I don't know where it goes and I don't know how long it takes to get there. Where does it go? I don't know. How many dreams belong to one? Is it just what?

I don't know. I think there's something called a something that he showed me on the wall. Oh, what was it called? A thing where they all go and then it all goes. I don't know anything about this, but I just knew I was in a panic situation. If he saw it, he didn't mention it. But then I thought, well, I need to have a shower. Because he came late and I thought, well, I need to have a shower while he's here

because the baby's finally falling asleep. I need to have a shower. And then I got in my head. I was like, if I go have a shower, do you think he'll bring his little camera up the plug hole? imagine just looking down like so yeah very very problematic i think he'd lose his job there was no way he was going to do that that's where my mind like i was already my conspiracy theory senses were high

i was already anxious about the poo so i just thought oh wait i actually didn't shower until like do you still squat in the shower to pee that was in an eye extra i think he'd need to pay me for that dynamic. Anyway, so that was a nice awkward from my week. Gorgeous. Stunning, yeah. Well, my good was my fringe.

Good, good. And no, I don't want you to, I don't want to bring any bads. Good for you. I'm worried that I am, I am bad. Yeah, I bring too many bads. I bring too many miserables. Are you miserable at the moment? I feel like you feel happier.

I do. I do. I do. Can you tell? Yes. Yeah. Although yesterday you disappeared all day. You were gone for like 40 hours.

I tell you the worst thing about working, about us all working with my husband. It's like my friends will ignore me, but they talk to him all day long. Yeah. I didn't hear from Georgie for like a week. And I was like, oh, I'm really worried about Georgia. He was like, oh, she's fine. He was like, oh, I haven't heard from Al all day. He was like, oh, she's been very chatty in the group.

So I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was my mom's birthday yesterday. Well, that's nice. Yeah, we went out for lunch. It was really nice. Fine, aloud. I don't, yeah, no, I don't hold bad for you.

That's, I don't want to. Do you think it's the weather cheering you up? Oh, fuck off. Oh, fuck off. I had to reply to one of your stories the other day when you were like, I just, like, never want this to leave or something. Like, picture of the sun. And I was like, ugh.

Oh, it's so nice. I got a little tan yesterday. Like, this is now. Natural. Sorry, curveball, weird things say, but Dex's really got a tan. He went to Lisbon and he's very tan. I've meant to say to you. See, the sun's good for the group.

It's good for morale. Faving tan? I've got freckles. They've grown. Did they merge? They merge. Do they? Do you like the sun though?

I love it. Yeah, see? That's right. Okay. As it should be. All right. Tommy started tantruming, actually. That is a bit of a bad.

Oh, good. He's too early to be tantrumming. No, no. He's, I mean, Zanty's got teeth, so I can't talk to you about the natural order of things. Don't use me as a barometer. My kids are all over the place. I feel like he's, like, skipped a few stages and gone from baby to, like, teenager. But that's exciting.

It means he's trying to speak and he's trying. I find the developmental side of that so exciting. Yeah, I guess that's, yeah. Because he's trying to communicate with you. They get, it's their feelings are bigger than their bodies. Yeah. He's trying to do things that he can't do. But, like, I'm finding myself, like, like, having.

some really weird thoughts because like he's frustrated that I won't give him a pair of scissors. So like it crosses my mind for a second like he's screaming. Do I just give him the pair of scissors? And then I'm like, no, obviously I shouldn't give him the pair of scissors. And I'm like, but I can't explain to him why I can't give him the scissors. It's very hard. And he's like arching his back, like lying on his back like, like, eh, like this. And I'm like, ah, I didn't know what to do. It's hard. It's been so helpful for me with this stuff. Has it? Yeah. I think I keep seeing like videos about like developmental things. I've learned loads of stuff. I will.

paraphrase and probably get them wrong. Oh, please do. Firstly, the most important lesson that I learned was that they're not giving you a hard time. They're having a hard time. That's like literally valuable every time I'm like, why being a little dick? I don't actually think that. I just think like, oh my God, poor you. Like, it gets me from a position of like, why are you doing this to me rather than to like, what do you need? Yeah. I'm upset that you're doing this to yourself. Yeah. So that's really helpful. But also, uh, diversion. Like, diversion is the, the best thing. Yeah. Like, never mind the scissors.

Have you seen that in the sky? Like, oh my God, is there a cat in the garden? That's my favorite question. Oh, my God, there might be a cat in the garden so then we run. Yeah. And then there's never, I mean, we'd know if there was a cat in the garden

because Bua would lose her shit. Yeah. But like, so like, in the middle of the night, oh, sorry, this is so boring for people who don't have kids. In the middle of the night, he's now sleeping on a bed, floor bed, on a mattress on the floor, it's not a floor bed. And like in the middle of the night,

3am, he wanted to go out the door. And I was like, no, you can't go out the door. It's 3 a.m. You've got to get back into bed. And that kicked off an almighty tantrum. I'm like, I just, I don't know what to do here. I just don't know what to do. Honestly, I've had, you've got to go to sleep.

I just stare at the wall and cry sometimes. Okay, okay. That helps. No, that's good advice, actually. Yeah, no. Yeah, you just got to. But I actually think sometimes it's actually best not to do. I was thinking in the night, like, I don't know what I can do here.

Sorry, the other lesson that I've really learned that is very helpful. Yeah. Is they can't regulate, you'll know this already, but they can't regulate themselves. Kids can't regulate themselves. They look to you for. regulation. So if they're shouting and you shout or if they're crying and you cry, it takes them longer to regulate. So the calmer you are, the quicker they will calm. Yeah. So I just stand there and offer all a hug. And when she's freaking out,

I'm like, I'm just ready and waiting. That's tricky because he can't regulate. I also can't regulate. There is no regulation. There's not much regulation in my household. Fair enough. We look to Dave. It's so hard to be fair. Like I just, you know the advice, but implementing it is very different. When he's screaming, it does something to my nervous system. It does something to my entire being. I could like, I could like rip out of my skin from the inside with like some kind of. I hear that.

Like, I don't know if it's like cortisol like going through the ceiling. There's some kind of hormone. Yeah. But it's takes over. This is legitimately why I do the ice baths and why I go running. It's like that's how I reset myself. This is, I mean, we can talk about this another day with a therapist. But like this was why.

Yeah. This was so much of my issue. you when I was ill like with with HG like I just could not regulate no channel no and I couldn't so I was expiring basically I just couldn't like I was just shutting down because I just couldn't regulate so now it's like I have to regulate myself this morning wanted to go for a run had to film a stupid video and do my stupid fucking job instead so it didn't go for a run and then in the car I got so angry with the footwell being full of shit that I threw a napi at the winter screen does it really have that like direct and immediate effect on you not doing exercise

like that. Or doing something to release the stress. And I think at this point, I am so touched out from being the only person that can fix Anthony when she cries. Like, you forget how exhausting that is being like the soul cure. Like, I know if I hear a crying in the house, I'm like, oh, that's on me. I'm so fascinated by that relationship with exercise. I'm so fascinated by it.

I think just because maybe I've never experienced it or, I don't know, maybe I would experience it if I did, if I. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. But is that your problem? I find me motivated them for exercising. Yeah, fuck yeah. It's to relieve stress.

But Alex makes me go. Like, it is in the family's best interest that I have exercise. For you to be on a constant treadmill. Literally, Alex this morning was like, have you, you sure you haven't got time for a run? And then I was like, maybe I could run because I've got a meeting after this. And he was like, maybe you could go at four. I was like, yeah, maybe I should go at four. It is definitely better for the group if I move.

Really? Yeah. For sure. And we talk about the time. He's like maybe, because he's, yeah, I mean, we try other things. but like I don't find relaxing, helpful. Do you think it's the endorphins or do you think it's a release of energy? I think it might be a release of energy and just not having anybody.

When I'm lying down, like if you try it like, we're into the spa, I'm like this is so fucking boring. And in my head and I sat in the hot tub with Alex for like two minutes. And then I was like, I need to do the Accardo order. And he's like, well, do you have to do it right now. I was like, well, if I don't do it now, then when I'm going to be driving and then I'm going to be home. And then it's bedtime, dinner time, blah. And he's like, well, just we'll find time later.

It's like, no, I need to do it now. And then I get guilt and then I'm like, well, I haven't done this and I should be editing this and I could write this and now I've got my column to do and blah, blah, when I'm running, can't do any of that. But do you not think about it still? Yes, but I'm doing something else so I can't do it. Do you know what I mean? Okay, I see, I see.

I will always sacrifice. It's physically not possible. It's physically not possible. But are you constantly taking out your phone to put things on your list? Like, oh shit, I've got to do this, I've got to do that. Because I can't because I'm running. And I've tripped over one too many times to fall for that shit again. But like yesterday, I was on the stairmaster, and that's great.

You can't go on your phone. I had these a million ideas of things I needed to be doing. And I was like, if I pick my phone up, I will fall flat on my face. I'm so intrigued by this. I think we should get your boxing device at home, Dave. Yeah, well, I did buy that a thing that you put on the wall. Oh, yeah. And then you punch it.

But Dave was like, you might just go through the wall. Yeah, that's like, yeah, actually thinking about it, you probably can't put force on the wall like that. No, I think you need. And the way I punch, let me tell you. But you're going to say the walls Dave built. No, you need to hang like a bag. I do need a bag. Yeah, but yeah.

Yeah. Maybe if the ceiling can take that. Yeah, maybe I should get a bag where I put it in the middle of the living room. I don't think you need to put it there. You've built a whole house. Other options are available. Yeah, yeah, the guest bedroom. Fine.

Yeah, I mean, that feels like a bit deliberate. Right, we haven't talked about. The other things we're supposed to be talking about. No, we haven't. We're going to have to just barrel through them now. Sorry, everyone. Let's go, let's go. We have been fickle.

So, been a big week. Huge week for us. For us. And the news. And the news. This is a big week all round. Yeah. Mostly for us.

Yeah, mostly for us. Our Monday episode with Laura Bates has flown. Really taken off. Really taken off. And I think it's been, I think mostly informative. And really shocking. And really shocking. out things that we just didn't know existed and didn't know what's happening kind of

not even behind the scenes that's not even right is it but sort of just not on our radar yeah but they should be i think it was worse than what we imagined like we know bad things are happening we're aware like i think a lot of us have this sense of unease about like the way the ai's coming on so quickly about like in cell culture at andrew tate trump the bro the bro vote like we're aware of these sort of like buzz words but i think seeing the like a cumulative effect as Laura has researched it was like just it was a shock it's it's rare actually for someone for people like us with the predisposition to overthink and probably jump to the worst case scenario it's rare for the actual scenario to be worse than the one we imagined i don't think i've

been as shocked on this podcast no in fact i definitely haven't no i've not that was the most shocking no yeah that was that was definitely the most shocking and i think for us to cry i don't know it's like we it wasn't like crying because it was sad it was crying because it was like definitely Desperately helpless. Desperate. Yeah. Depressing. Yeah.

But it has really evoked, I don't know. I feel, yeah, and I think it's a good thing and it's a really good conversation, which is why this, we've shuffled the schedule and this Monday's episode coming up in a few days is going to be a sort of follow up from this, looking at the language that we're seeing sort of culturally, particularly used by mainstream media that's perpetuating male violence. and kind of excusing it. And I think we're doing the interview after we've recorded this and I'm really looking forward to it. I guess we want to highlight more of the solution as well. Like Laura Bates offered us loads of,

like loads of amazing advice and solutions and like the way forward. She's sort of like illustrated the path forward. But we want to highlight more of that because we don't just want to show you like how bad it is off you go away with it. Like we want to just, we want to be part of the solution as well

and like making things better. And also like a lot of the recent that she did was you know going off to stuff like that that sex place and it and that's like it does feel otherworldly but I think what we want to do is highlight that this is everyday stuff like the reason this came about is because yesterday I whilst I was on the stairbaster actually got a notification from the Daily Mail because I've turned them on because I like to fuel my own hate fire saying like French movie legend yeah convicted with sexual assault and it was like or chart, no, yeah, convicted, found guilty of sexual assault.

And I looked at it and I was like, what the fuck? Like, what do you mean legend? Like, French movie legend, like, like, legend, let's talk legends. Tom Cruise for jumping out the thingy, that would be a fair enough headline. Tom Daly, when he wins, all the Tom's, when he wins like a gold medal. Like, legends, fight, legend, such a weird word to use. Such a weird word. And I was, as I was like doing my little stairmaster, I was like, actor.

Predator. Man. French actor. Rapist. Like we've got, whatever. We've got a roller decks of words available to us and they've gone with legend and it was, it felt so gross. So I shared it on my stories and then this ends now. The campaign got in touch with me about it. And actually the Daily Mail did change their headline. Did they? Good. Good. Good. I want to take the credit. I won't. But it's too late. It's too late, yeah. And we know why they do it as well. They do it to like, it also, that kind of paradoxical, like, he's a legend. But like this huge fall from grace, you know, but now he's been accused of all this. They know it evokes like a, you know, more of an emotional response in readers.

And we'll talk about it properly in Monday's episode. But like they were saying in the article about him, it was like, they were quoting how he'd said, this has been very inspiring if I were to ever play a judge one day. and it's like, what? Excuse me? Because he's got an 18 months suspended sentence. So he's kind of taken it. It's like, thank you everyone.

Thank you for inspiring my work. Oh my God. But they're reporting on that. Oh, my God. Like it's like, oh, well, you know, he's taken something from it. Like, not remorse for assaulting two women. He's taken something to me. It's so fucking bad.

And it's like this stuff is so innate now. Like, we're so like used to it. that this is just how it's it's incredibly normalized it's so normalized and I feel really important I feel really strongly that language that the language that the mainstream media is using is really really really excited I can't wait for this episode I love a language chat me I mean you know I like that I'm excited it was a French actor as well I thought he'd be all over this I was personally devastated before we go before we move on actually and speaking of France speaking of Speaking of France. I've literally just posted a reel about, and written my metro column, about can film festival banning the new dress, banning nudity.

My home country is not faring so well at the moment. They're fuckers because they banned the burqa, what, 10 years ago. Yeah, they did. Because you're covering too much. And now they're banning nudity because you're showing too much. And I'm, I've made the point now a couple of times, if you've watched my content, you'll have heard it. But we've never seen a piece. penis on the red carpet, which means if you've got an issue with nudity, as they say, they've got an issue with female nudity. This isn't about policing bodies. It's about policing female bodies. Yeah, this only targets women. It's only targets women. Yeah. And it's like who, who is deciding what's too much? Is the nipple the boundary or it's like too much midriff or too much back or too much leg? Yeah, well, are they, are they given like guidelines? They said their team have the right to

prohibit access to anybody in breach of their rules. Wow. I mean, under his eye. I was just about to say this feels, I'm watching Handmaid's Tale at the moment, season five. Have you watched it? No, but you're literally watching it. I don't need to.

Season five. I'm watching it news. That's what it feels like, though. It's crazy. Like, the parallels, it's, it's so mad. And it feels like the world is kind of closing in on women. It's scary. I said this in the real.

so you've probably people listening may have already seen it but and I said it in the I've said it a lot sorry if you've already heard it but it does feel and this is something again we've said we want to talk about we will talk about it when we've got time to write it but the the pretty little thing rebrand yeah like where culture goes fashion follows like they're very intrinsically linked like fashion and politics fashion and culture like it's it's one and the same fashion is not fickle fashion is serious like that and it's very representative of where we are culturally and like what watching fashion get more and more conservative in terms of what's marketed, like, it's not coincidental then that we are implementing dress codes. We've spent the last two decades in moving dress codes. Like air hostesses don't have to wear makeup and heels anymore. We had a UK disciplinary hearing, parliamentary disciplinary or whatever it's called in 2016 about how a woman, a receptionist called Nicola Thorpe had been sent home from work for wearing, for not wearing high heels. And we taught, and it was decided that dress codes could now be discriminatory. And like, We've been working towards removing dress codes for 20, 30 years, and now it's...

We're implementing them. Yeah. That should be scary. But I mean, tradwife is a dress code now. Yeah. And however you feel about nudity, however you feel about free the nipple, however you feel about any of that, like actually step away from the intricacy of that issue, because that will always be contentious. People will always talk about exploitation of women and sexualization of children. And I understand there's a conversation there, but step back from that.

and just look at it as a dress code thing. Don't like it. Oh, it's really scary. It is scary. It's really scary. And we're still debating the little stuff. We're still debating the stuff that doesn't matter. Like, already I can see, I've only just posted it, but I can see the comments being,

oh, well, what about Kanye West making Bianca wear, his wife, wear a naked thing? So maybe, you know, it's protecting her and it's like, don't focus on this small stuff. Yeah. Like step back and see this for what it is. Oh, so that's an outlier. Of course it's an outlier. Yeah. It's like one lunatic.

Exactly. Like, yes, she needs some kind of protection. Yes, so we're protecting one woman. But let's protect her, but don't, you know, be made as a blanket rule for every woman. Yeah. And I do think we just get, we microanalyze and we focus on those little things. Yeah. And inevitably, that pulls away from the conversation. It attracts from the conversation or even in some cases that doesn't allow the conversation to happen. Yeah, well, I actually noticed underneath the Gratzi article they wrote about it yesterday.

everybody was saying oh well you know this will force force um fashion to be more creative like you know we can't just rely on bodies and it's like fashion is art it's a form of expression the female body is not overtly sexualized it we are sexualizing it but like to display it as part of a fashion piece or construct or idea is art it's so it makes me feel like such a weird take That was a unanimous under the grounds of the article. Yeah, I was really surprised. Oh my God, that's so amazing. You know, when you start doubting,

but I wrote my Metro thing and then I was like, I wonder what everyone else is saying, which I should have done the other way around. But then I was like, I was doubting myself. I was like, maybe I'm... No. I mean, nudity and fashion have been like intrinsically linked forever. Yeah.

Okay, me not forever. No, forever. Like in the Victorian times, but... Forever and ever. Like, honestly, if you look at even like, what's her child? Was she the Tudor one who liked just having her boobies out? Oh, she did.

Which she just had them purses. Relatable to me. I wish that was an option for me. Just, oh my God, I know. Imagine if they could just get up. It's like when you sit at a table, a really high table, and you just let them hang on there, let them rest on there. I love that, love that.

Stunning. Plop them on. The irony didn't escape me either, that like we're writing this and talking about this as it's 25 degrees in London and every single builder in the city has their boobies out. Yeah. And I'm here feeling ashamed for my like breastfeeding boobs, like my nipples doing what they're meant for.

And everyone's like, oh, no, put those away. I'll stop flaunting it. And all you're showing off. And what about him and him and him? What is your, I mean, I know you've only just posted the real, but what is your feeling on the reaction to the Cann decision? Like, is it overwhelmingly they've made the wrong decision? Yeah, I was surprised that it wasn't bigger news in terms of the think pieces.

I saw like a Sun article saying, you know, that kind of my school of thought, but I didn't see, and I saw Gratzier on my school of thought, but I haven't seen a lot, which is disappointing. because I actually thought the fashion girls might come out and say something. I thought I'm glad to yeah. That's it. Yeah, I was hoping I wanted to see my fashion influences coming out and defending the art. And I haven't yet. But, you know, it only happened yesterday.

So, yeah, let's see. I reckon we could end on this great comment on your real. You can't convince me from Claire Hill designs. You can't convince me that trad wife and girlification weren't concerted social media campaigns to push conservatism and silence women. Now add in rise of thinness to make us physically small, a silent, tired and at home. Thank you, Claire. Thank you, Claire.

Mike drop. We will see you on Monday. We won't drop them because they're very expensive. And we couldn't even if we tried because they are all winched to the table. Thank you for listening, guys. We will be carrying this on Monday. All right, love you, bye. Bye.

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