Should I Delete That? - Just Us: Chappell Roan on motherhood, Remi Bader’s weight loss surgery and why we need to stop policing women’s opinions

Episode Date: April 2, 2025

Get ready because we're sharing Em’s problematic sunbathing plans for this summer and Al’s been dropping some more French references… quelle surprise! We also discuss two of the biggest moments of internet discourse from this week… firstly Remi Bader made a splash by talking about her weight loss surgery on Khloe Kardashian’s podcast and then Chappell Roan said that all her friends with children are in hell. We discuss our collective policing of women’s choices and opinions - and why some people feel entitled to criticise women online for things they choose to do. Read Em’s Metro column “Chappell Roan’s controversial comments exposed a divide that mothers are sick of” here!If you would like to get in touch - you can email us on [e-mail] us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Dex RoyVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Emma-Kirsty FraserMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Should I Delete That. I'm in Clarkson. How are you? I'm good. Are you? Yeah. Are you sure? I'm okay.

Keep asking and we'll get to how I really am. I'm going to have to put you for the truth. No, I'm good, I'm good. Okay. I'm wearing the same outfit that I have done for like two weeks, but that's okay. Have you washed it? I have to keep washing it because it's got this bloody white collar. and you say, oh, it goes, white collars are the, they're so fucking humbling.

And everyone says, oh, put a hairspray on them, it doesn't work. And they also say, put a t-shirt on, like put something over your face when you put it on. Sorry, for listeners, she's got the makeup, you've got the makeup, she's got the makeup, she's got the makeup on. But it's like when you put it on, if you put it on after, you've already put your makeup on, people say put a t-shirt over your head, like you've been kidnapped, then put the teeth, then put the top over the top. So it doesn't, works great. Yeah. until then it touches your neck and then obviously it doesn't work at all

and also you've ruined a t-shirt I did this exactly this morning yeah I put on a white polar neck who the f and also you've ruined a t-shirt and you've ruined your makeup and you've ruined the white polo neck anyway because what was I thinking

by your white pair it said for a no makeup day but on a no makeup day in a white polar neck caspar the friendly ghost who no way I just can't wear white

I can't be trusted I don't think I look good in white I don't know if I think I'm I just don't think it's for me. I do feel like white works on darker skin tones. Yeah, I don't think I'm in my era. I don't think that's it. I'm not in a crisp white shirt era.

I'm too curvy and I'm too pale. Too curvy and too pale. Do you know what I mean? Like, I like the vibe and then I put it on and I'm like, no, no. Somehow I forgot to take fake tan with me to my parents' house. I've been really struggling. You're raw dogging. Yeah, I'm really struggling.

It makes me realize how reliant I am on fake tan and how much I don't like my appearance without it, which I know as a body image Yeah, yeah, we've got some stuff to unpack there Yeah, there's some stuff to unpack there But I really have been struggling without it I have not worn it I put it on once in about a year

The CBA when I was pregnant And then I did it about six weeks ago And I loved it, I thought God, I look spectacular And then I just not bothered doing it again That's what I'm going to do when I get home I'm going to do it And thank you so much for the

You're going to fake tanning I do when I get home I can't wait Are you? Yeah And then I'm going to lie out and I don't care, I know it's bad for me, I'm going to lie out all summer long, like a little rash of bacon, like a little bacon rasha. And I'm just going to...

Sizzle. Just crisp. Sizzle and crisp. Oh, I can't wait. Last, I swear I missed last summer because I was just so ill. Like it just just, juke, pass me by. No tan, no vibes, no rosé, no joy, nothing. Not this year. It's true, actually. Not this year. This is your summer. I am going to fucking thrive. I shan't, I shan't pass judgment on what. On the sunbathing. No, you will not. No. No, you will not.

But I don't do it myself. I haven't since I was like 18. See, I'm a fact of fitting on the face. And then. Oil, cooking oil. Pretty much. Yeah. Protect the money maker.

Fry the rest of it. I used to do, I used to go on holiday and put oil up, just put oil on. This is all my mom did. Yeah, yeah. I said, oh, is that like, okay. Oh, it's all right. Because I don't have ever at all anymore, I'm a 50, Back to 50, all the time, everywhere.

I've got no... You'll live considerably longer than this. Probably. No doubt. It'll compensate for like the six or seven years between us, I think. Yeah, I think. We can go together. It's going to level us out, I think.

That's nice. There we go. I always worry about how the podcast will end and that'll be it. It doesn't... It doesn't worry anymore. The expiry date is final. Well, what's going to be left out? You joke.

Never leave a man behind. I am going to go get my moles map. I don't know if you've noticed it. I'm incredibly moly. Same. Would you like to go with me? Yeah. Do you know what I had it done last, or two years ago, I think.

Oh, what? No, you didn't need to, I need, I've got 30 years worth of moles to examine. And I, it's a bit weird. It's like I've been shot right through the chest with a mole arrow because I've got one, right, sort of boobs going the way, but right here, like between the tiddies, and then exactly the same spot on the back. Oh, how weird. Both are a little bit raised. Oh, that's strange. And then I got a red one here.

I've got a black one on my it's not great I've got some I need to further examination necessary before your son yeah no because they tell me

that they're bad and they're going to be like oh they're in the shade and I'll be like boo okay so you'd rather not know no I'm going to go I've got to be how weird is this

right? Yeah my twins my twin sisters they're not your twins are identical twins but they're mirror image twins yeah so one of them's got a little

Eiffel Tower shaped mole. Oh, shut up with your French references. Just say a telephone mask. No, do you know what I could have said? I could have just said triangle. It's just

it's hard when all your references are French. She's got a, she's got an iPhone tower little. She's got three moles. She's got three moles on her face on the left-hand side. And then the other one has the same on the right. That is quite, is that it's, it's like the same across their body? One's left-handed, one's right-handed.

No, they're not. Yeah. No, they're not. Yeah. No, they're not. It's weird, isn't it? It's really weird. That's extraordinary.

Really, really weird. Wow. I know. And they're identical to them. So they share a DNA. I think we might have talked about this on the podcast, but if one of them has a child, they are both DNA-wise. They are equally the same amount of mumness to the same. Sure, that's the correct terminology to the child.

Wow. I know. The whole thing's really got me there. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, and one's right-handed, one's left-handed. How weird. And one's right-footed, one's left-footed. God, that's amazing.

I know, isn't it? It's incredible. I know. Unlike me, see, I'm left-footed and right-handed. What's that? Dave's like that. Is he? Yeah.

My guy. How strange? How strange? It's really annoying. It, like, I know I'm quite, like, I'm going to say incompetence, I can't think of the word. Like, when it comes to, like, ball sports. But I think it's because I wasn't give an ample opportunity.

I think it's, because my potential wasn't sought. Well, do you know what? I would say that that is confusing. If you're dominant on your right side on top, dominant on your left side and on bottom, coordination is therefore probably quite difficult. But also, I think actually it's quite instinctive in myself,

but when people teach you things, they go, you right-handed, yeah, so then do it this way. And it was only when I was riding a bike and you'll laugh, but I was learning to ride with my cleats on, you know, like the proper, and I kept falling off. And I mean like, kept falling off. And it would be like, and I just couldn't work out why I was falling off all the time. And it was because when you're right-handed, they say put your, I think probably right foot down first.

And I just couldn't go. So I would go to do it. And then I just fall because I wasn't putting my right foot down. Yeah. So your left foot steadies you. It was only after a week, I was like, wait, can I just put my left foot down, please? And then when I did that, I was like, oh, I can ride a bike now. See, I could, yeah, you're right, because I could never start off with my right leg down.

I could never propel myself with my left. I mean, I'm sure I could. But like, I wouldn't feel like. I think like I can't work it out but I mean there is an order yeah yeah yeah but that's really interesting yeah isn't it so that yeah and it's not like interesting to everyone else but we are six minutes in it we haven't even done one good but how do we even how do we get here have we did a good is that how we ended up I don't know no no you haven't done anything um waste of my time I have an awkward slash bad good I don't know which one I don't know which category it's

a classic hybrid I don't know that I've necessarily been ghosted But I think I am being slightly ghosted Or have been slightly ghosted Okay, so I don't want to give away too many details Just in case they listen to the podcast But I did make a new friend Like fairly recently And you know that's quite a big deal for me

This is my heart I know, I know I know, I know, it's quite sad Did you not realise what she's done? Because she's ruined it for the rest of everyone else That's it now That's it now isn't it? You're going to be like a fly trap You're my first and last new friend

That's it so that's a bit of a stab in the face for georgie but okay fe and ex are like oh okay so listen right we were really close like talking all the time we had babies same age and babies that didn't sleep and we were talking all the time constantly all time um and then she just kind of stopped talking to me oh my god and i mean i do have to i do have to concede like i obviously like we work full time and our schedules are erratic

and I'm not the best at being able to meet up. So I do think that that might have contributed because it was kind of, it was difficult of when I could meet up and sometimes I would be like, but we could meet up and then I'd be like, shit, I can't do this? I've got to do that and say sorry, can we rearrange? I don't know, I don't think I was flaky, but like hard to pin down, quite hard to pin down.

You know what it's like there, isn't it? It is quite hard. Like schedules is like always... I've got very boundary, but we've talked about this. It took me a lot to get the boundaries of like, leave me alone on these days. Yeah, that's true. So, yeah, impossible. But, okay, we need to talk this through.

How is it? She's just gone. She's just like, poof gone. And I feel a bit sad. Okay, so how does it, let's rewind. I'm not sad, actually. I'm upset. That's exactly the same thing, isn't it?

I'm more like questioning. Like, is it just, is it me? How did it go, though, out? Like, so you like, I'd like to say it taped off, but it didn't. It was quite, it was fairly sudden, yeah. But what happened just before it stopped? just before it stopped. Did you message her?

No. Did you be like, hey, stinky. I hate your kid. Your kid's gross, you're great. No, I can't put, I can't pin it to anything. Do you think she could just be going through it? She might have to be going through it. How long has it been?

Maybe I should just turn up. It's been, it'd be weird. About a month. And have you been messaging a few times to be like, hey. I have messaged a couple times and I've just got like lukewarm responses back. Oh, she's just lying, but just... Yeah, but it's like... Ask her.

Yeah, maybe I should. If you were good friends, I think that was fair enough. Do you know how many times a week I asked her if I first done something? I just really like her. Like, liked. No, no, no, you still like her. I think you can just ask. I really liked her.

Yeah, yeah. I think you can ask. Do you think? 100%. Okay. I think you can just say, take accountability for yourself a little bit and just say, hey. Did I do something wrong? Yeah, just be like, I just, I hope it really well.

We haven't really spoken recently. are you okay I'm really hoping I haven't done anything sorry I've been so hard to get hold of it's just been a lot with you think yeah what have you got to lose if you like her yeah she's shot owl don't let this be it don't let this hard but maybe she's just like I just don't really like you that much I bet you that's not what it was if you had a nice time when you would like me initially but okay okay let's play this from the other side because I think you might be taking things personally in a way that I understand but I don't think you need to because maybe if she's not working or she's on maternity leave and she's a little bit lonely

yeah she might just need to be channeling her energy into something that's going to come back she might be struggling definitely with like i don't know about you but i always really struggled if i'm particularly this point i was going to say when i had a baby i've just had one but like if i make a plan yeah and then the plan goes i would really struggle with that yeah so maybe she's just a bit like yeah else not right now she's not what i need doesn't mean you're not That's true, that's true. Right now, that's not what she needs, right at a second. That's a good point.

I like that framing because then it's like, it's not about me. No, it's about you. It's just what she needs from friendships and maybe... I'm not just a horrible person. Of course you're not a horrible person. Alice, not a chance that that's what it is. And I mean, unless you do something like horrible. This hasn't happened, well, it doesn't happen for a really long time.

I don't know, it's that feeling of being like... It's horrible. Oh God, like, what... Yeah, it's just like you just question yourself, don't you? I mean, I DM'd someone the other day that it's like a friend of a friend for a work thing. Yeah. And she's seen it and ignored me. And I'm really upset.

So I actually do relate. That's hard. It's tragic. It is. It's really. And I was suffering to pay her and everything. It's devastating. I'm like, why do you hate me?

Why do you hate me? What have I done? What they told you? Yeah. Yeah. Is it much as my reputation precede me? Yeah. Jesus.

Sorry, fine. It's so, we're bad, aren't we? I know. I know. So sensitive. I'm so sensitive. I'm so sensitive. That's not a bad thing, though.

I don't think this is your, I would be so surprised if you've done something. Yeah. And also, even if you've done, like, we know when we do bad, bad things, you'd know if you'd done something very bad. You would. I definitely, I think I'm sensitive enough and I think I'm like, self-aware and emotionally intelligent enough to know. I promise you you you are. So then if she's upset with you, it will be her shit. Yeah.

And it doesn't mean that that's like she's a bad person or she's done something wrong. It's just her stuff. Yeah. Like, it's just not jelling with your stuff right now. Okay, okay, I like that. I like that. I think we can try for a bit of... Okay, I like that.

Just see what's up. Yeah. Just, oh, there's nothing. I do this to Sof all the time. Do you? Oh my God, are you kidding? Do you? We do it to each other.

Like, about what's a month. It's like, so's my friend who had a baby two days after me. And I do think it's quite intense when you... Who did the trailers for our body image series? Yeah. She's so talented. She's so talented. She is amazing.

But I think it's quite intense when you make a, like, make a really close mom friend. Yeah. Because, and we're a weird time where you can, could message someone at three in the morning and really be with them through the hard bits. And like it is quite intense. It's quite an intense relationship that you form. It is. It is. You meet these people. Yeah. You meet someone and like within a few weeks. You can be crying in front of them and it'd been totally normal because like you're in such a. And you're so vulnerable with them. Yeah. And you become very reliant. Like I am so reliant on so friendship like because

she's become such an important part of my motherhood because we've done so much of it together. And now you've got to. She's got to. I mean yeah. But I keep. I'm like, do you know how lonely it is doing it without you this time? Yeah, of course. Because the first time I had her every step of the way. And now I'm like, oh, I don't know. I'm all by myself. But I think that there is an intensity to that relationship that might make this a bit more painful for you.

Yeah, probably. Because you did need her. Yeah. Also, the fact that I don't make friends that readily. No, you do. I'm not the most open person. No. No, so I feel like I've let my god down.

If this woman's ruined it for everyone, I put my heart out. I'm going around her house and be like, fuck I'm applied to my friend all right, because this can't be it for her. We need to keep that little heart warm. Also, Georgie, you are my friend as well. I was really joking up and being my only, yeah, I'm fiendex.

You're what my friends do. You're going to be really worrying about this later, aren't you? That you've heard. Yeah, yeah, I'll be spiraling, of course, but I'm used to it, it's fine, I'll ride it out. Have you got anything for me? I've just got good, by start contrast to last week. Of course.

Everything's better now. Okay, okay. I had a week of no. child care both of the girls by myself because it sounded brutal it was it was intense not not necessarily but it was really intense but i absolutely loved it i think it was really important for arlo to share me with her sister just me yeah no one to yeah you know like i think that was important how did you find it challenging this heavy on the hit but um yeah it was fine it was great I actually, like, it's so tired, but I, it was, I think, really important for like us.

I really appreciated the time. Like, I basically pushed all the work that I could and it was really nice. And then, because it all got a bit much, I went cold water swimming on, obviously, it's what I do now, but I've jumped in. And my head went under the water. Nice. I fucking loved it. I saw you jump off and I quickly flipped to the next story. Well, I think I might upgrade my ice bath to get a duo.

To what? You're just going to. Get one that I can lie down in. I want a great ice bath to the sea. No, no, no, I want a full ice bath. At the moment I've got a little pod that I just have to sit in very awkwardly. Like I'm a little dumpling just boiling away.

So like an egg poaching. So like a literal bath? Yes. That I could kick back and relax in. I know, something wrong with me. But it's helping. Are you not freezing when you come out? No, no, no, that's the treat.

Because you're freezing when you're in. Yes. You're warm when you're out. But then you can't get warm immediately because how do you get warm then? You'd be surprised how warm the world feels when you're not in a knife valve anymore. Oh, I see. I see. Okay. Oh, my God. This is your entire. Yeah, no. I've got the dry. I've got the driver. I've got the driver. I know. I am like, it's such a slippery. So many people message being like, I'm not engaging. I'm just not engaging. And I'm like, good. A lot of people do though. But I keep getting messages being like, please be careful because you could die. And I'm like, oh my God. I don't think.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, don't do that. Die. I'm trying to. I don't, I don't think people understand necessarily. And why would you? like why would they but like how important for my mental health this stuff like the running yeah the ice bar thing like I was hanging on by a thread all of last year like I've got to do what you're got to do I feel like I have to be very proactive my mental health at the moment to keep up done yeah and like two kids man over stimulating as hell you've got to put something in for yourself yeah because otherwise you are there's just nothing left god honestly two kids I can't like my my sister's got to it's a hoon and I go around I Dave because Dave's in the house literally morning, day and night, and he's just not there anymore. He is. He's still

around. He's still alive. We're still married and stuff and he still, but like, he's just stressed and he's got so much to do. So me and Jen go back to hers and baffle the boys together and how, and feed all the boys together. You've got the village. That's so nice. It's really, really, really nice. It is really nice. But fuck me. It's chaotic. Like, and I look at her and I'm like, I don't know how you, because her husband works in the town like in town in 1873 i'm gonna redo that he horses shoes no shoes horses let me rephrase he works in the town works in the office um like late it's a long it's a long walk so she just has to do all these nights by herself and it is just like it's so nice that you have each other i am like stimulated to the max yeah it's a lot she's just she good she's good she takes it

her stride, she's just so calm with it, but one in a dog and I'm like, I'm at my limit. Yeah, especially because Betty wants to hump me. She's stressed at the moment and all she wants to do, all she wants to do is hump me. And I'm like, this is not setting a good example for Tommy, you know. But also, like, I'm like, Betty off, Betty off. And I'm trying not to like raise my voice at her or like, you know, be anything more than super gentle with her because he sees that. So I'm like, Betty off, Betty off, Betty off, Betty get off me. Betty get off, Betty stop humping me. And I get like more and more irate.

And like, he's crying. She's humping. And I'm like, ah! Ah! It's a response to stress. She humps me. And only me, she won't have day thrown at home anyone else. It's just me.

She just wants to hurt me. He's on one arm, one arm, she's on the other arm. It's awful. I can't. Touched out. Literally. That's a lot. That's a lot.

Yeah. Oh, I don't know when we go from there. No advice on that one. No. No. We did get a trainer in to talk about it because it's like it's getting really bad. You know, she's something me a lot.

And they were like, yeah, it's just the response. She's just stressed at the moment. She's not dominating you because it's kind of sound like. No, they said it's not dominant. No. they said it's not that it's um she's she's stressed and doesn't know what to do with her little body which is really sad god thank god she's not a human she'd be in a world of trouble yeah we yeah no i need to work in a very calm environment yeah well

okay so the news we need to talk about there's some things we do we've already got 10 minutes left now we'll be fine there we can barrel there's some things you wanted to talk about in the Yes. Have you listened, by any chance, to the Chloe Kodashian podcast episode was Remy Bader? No, I wanted you to tell me about it. Okay. So, Remy Bader, am I saying right, Remy Bader? Yeah, Remy Bader. I think... A quite cool surname. It is. Well, first of all, I read it as Badger. Then I read it as Badger. Then I realized it only had one D, so it was Bader. Oh, what did you send me? The meme that you sent me, the video that you sent me about autocorrect. Yeah. It was like, I can fix your spelling.

I can't fix you. Just like, oh. That is you. Yeah. So, Remem Badger. She, so she was a plus size content creator. I think she's always been plus size her whole life.

And then she put on like a fair bit of weight. I think she's had 40 pounds in COVID. And that's where her account really took off. And so she grew like two million followers. And then I think she started to go to like red carpets and stuff. And I think. she was, she grew this community of plus size people and became like a, I guess like a figurehead for plus size people.

Like a bit of like a poster girl for plus size people. Anyway, suddenly last year she started to get really thin. Thinner, thinner, thinner. And I think she dropped a lot of weight. I mean, I don't know how, I can't remember how much, like 150 pounds, I think she said. Which I don't know what that is in stone or kilos, but it's a lot. It's overtoned stone.

She looks like a completely different person. She dropped all the weight. and didn't say anything about it online just showed up online kind of as normal but I guess a bit different in that she was maybe more confident and maybe more

you could tell that she liked her body more there was a marked difference I guess in her in how she was showing up online and people were asking her in the comments people wanted to know what happened how she'd managed it how she'd done it

and she was deleting those comments and like blocking those people so it was all a bit of a thing and I think she went for a long time without saying anything And anyway, Chloe Kardashian's podcast dropped and Remy was on it and she revealed that she's actually had weight loss surgery. It's like this new kind of surgery that I think combines a gastric sleeve with a something else. I don't know.

It's new and it sounds fucking brutal, like really awful. They just like rearrange your organs and take away some of your stomach. Like it's so horrible. And the recovery sounded horrendous. And it's made a splash. As you can imagine. Of course. And people are really conflicted, but they are generally landing on the side of we're upset, we're pissed off.

And like, not we want to cancel Remy, but they don't want her to necessarily have the platform that she has now. They don't necessarily think she deserves it because, and this is a quote, like it was built on the backs of plus size girls who now feel gaslit. But these people are the platform. so if they don't want her to have the platform anymore, then it's their responsibility to unfollow her. Yes, yes, that's a good point. I find that very frustrating where it's like, well, we, she shouldn't have a platform anymore.

She doesn't deserve it. It's always she, isn't it? It's always she is never he, by the way. But she doesn't deserve the platform anymore. It's like, well, then unfollow it. Don't be part of it. If you don't like the platform, don't be part of platforming her. But like, that seems a bit unfair, right?

So, yeah, I mean, so I listen to a lot of the, TikToks on it, you know, people's, like people's tapes on it. And I was like, yeah, I get what you mean. Like, you feel, you feel let down. You feel like betrayed, I guess. But what was she supposed to do? And then I listened to her podcast with Chloe Kardashian. And I do think, like, we always say, like, there can be like multiple different things that are like true at the same time, right? So I do think it's fine that those people feel betrayed and also, but I listen to this podcast and like what she's been through has been really brutal. Like her parents, her whole life have tried to make her lose weight.

She had this incident with her boyfriend where he said, I'm not sexually attracted to you. And I don't have sex to you anymore because she put on weight and I don't like, I'm not sexually attracted to you in your new body. And her health was really deteriorating and struggling as well, you know, as well. And yeah, I mean, a lot of people say they don't believe that. She's just kind of hamming that up as a one of the reasons. Oh, what's wrong with people?

But it sounds really brutal. Like she had a terrible back. She was in bed. Like she was almost like a mobile. and then she had this surgery and I just, I listened to it and I was like, how can we blame anyone for doing this? I listened to her being like, I so get it.

Of course you get it. I so get it. That doesn't make any sense. I find that so frustrating that it's just like she's let us down. And maybe she didn't handle it correctly with like deleting comments blocking people like even with not addressing it. I don't know.

But we've done this. How many times have we gone around this and been like, we have, yeah. Who's responsibility? Like how, what do we owe everybody, you know, in terms of our bodies? Why do we owe everybody so much of an explanation all the time? And it's just like, I don't like, that makes me want to scream. The other criticism as well is that she chose Chloe Kardashian's podcast to announce it.

And obviously, Chloe Kardashian is, you know, her and her family, like, uphold unrealistic beauty standards and, like, thinness. so I think people are upset with that as well but like they're kind of friends you can hear like they've been following each other for a while like Remy did something for good American Why wouldn't she? And also yeah We are not

This is really frustrating me That we're at this point Because the thing I wanted to talk to you about Was Chapo Rhone Chapo, I can't pronounce a name And I feel so old every time I get it wrong Chapel Rhone Yeah every time I try and make it fancierge

Than what it is So Chappelle Ronde Yeah every time I'm like What's wrong with me I've written about it in the Metro this week Because Have you Everybody's talking about...

We'll put the link to the show in the show notes. Thank you so much. Everyone's talking about her conversation with the call her daddy podcast. Yes. Oh my God. It's two strokes are the same thing. It's like why are we so... Sorry, for context, then I'll make my point.

She said to Alexis in the interview that they were talking about having kids, not having kids. She's 27. She said all her friends back home have kids. They are all, and I'm quoting, she said they are all in hell. She said she doesn't know anybody who is happy with children. they are also tired and they don't have any light in their eyes, right? That is her observation. Yeah. Which is her observation to make.

Like, okay, that's how she perceives her friends. Maybe her friends are miserable. Maybe she perceives them as being miserable because she doesn't connect with them on that level. Yeah. Whatever. Everybody is so cross. And it's like, why do we have this collective thing where it's like we need to be policing every woman's opinion, how she presents it,

how she acts on it, what she says, who she says it to. Nigel Fras said last week that men, it's harder for men to have children than women because their careers take more of a hit than women's. And no one's done a fucking think piece on it. Everyone's just like, oh, Nige. Yeah. It's so hard. Why doesn't that make me want to cry with anger?

Like, it actually makes one of cry with anger. Like, how can I tell you why you feel like that? Why? Because you're incredibly triggered by it, because that is. I am so triggered by it. Yes, because that's the problem. Because it's not true. It's exactly the opposite.

Exactly the opposite. It's flat out wrong there. But it's so annoying that like the two things, two comments can be made in a week and everyone's kicking off about Chappelle. And it's like, Chappelle, if I said that right, what's wrong with me? Chappell. Chappell. Chappell.

Chappell. Oh, my God. Chappell, like a chapel. Like a chapel. Chappell Rhone. Fine. I can do that. It's so, right?

Chappel Rune, yeah. Really. Of course it's Chappell. It's just got the one P. Yeah. I've been really chapelling. No, I think it's got two peas, two ells, I think. Well, in that case, isn't it?

Chapel, no, it's still Chappell. Chappell. If it had an E on the end, then it would be Chappelle. All right. Well, wait. No, it would be friends. Well, then why is it chapel like the chapel, like the building, if it's got two peas? I think it's creative license, because it's her name, it's creative license.

We digress. Back to what you want. Motherhood. Sorry. But it's the same thing. It's Remy, it's her. It's like, I'm not going to say a name again because I'll butcher it. But it's the same thing.

It's like, oh my God, just let. Like, why are we incapable of letting a woman have an opinion and just going, I disagree with that opinion. Anyway, I'll go back to my chick in Kiev now. Like, it's so annoying that we've just got to make it all of our business. It's so true. I saw a video, I saw another TikTok take. TikTok take.

I like that. I do too. Maybe we could do like TikTok. TikTok takes. I like that. I love that as our little segment. Well, there can't be a segment. Because that's why you get all your news from anyway.

Literally. TikTok take. It actually is. It was a TikTok take about Chappell Rhone saying that and this woman was like, yeah, it's no surprise that all your friends look miserable.

All your friends probably are miserable because you surround yourself with light-minded people and you are miserable. I've never heard you say one positive thing in your entire existence. Like you're a miserable person and I'm like, you sound really triggered.

Well, my think piece for the Metro about this was actually completely irrelevant what she said, completely irrelevant that I disagree. with her. Yeah. She said having children is hell. That was her quote.

I don't think personally that having children is hell, but I do think by and large, women are having children in hell. Like, yes. No affordable child care. Very well said. Very poor health care. Yeah.

We've got no maternity cover in the US to speak of. They've got to worry about school shootings. They've got a fucking lunatic for a president. Like, we are seeing women being priced out of the workforce here in the UK all the time. Cost of living means that people can't afford to feed. their kids adequately. Like, of course, it's horrible. On top of that, you've got the beauty standards that say, oh, you've got to be thin and you've got to be, yeah, no, yeah, you've got to be back in your jeans like that. Oh, and you've got to be at work like you don't have children and then

you've got to be mothering like you don't have, like that is help. Like you look like you've had children, yeah. That is what we're, that's the environment. Mothers are happy in spite of that and props to them for it. Yeah. But I think it's a very anti-feminist take that we keep dividing ourselves on it and it's so frustrating that we just go I'm on the child free side and I'm on the mother's side and then we fight because within the chasm

within the gap that's where this pervasive misogyny this is where this conservatism that's growing online is coming from which is dividing women which is saying you belong in the home because you're the mothers and you guys can stay in the office because you don't have to like that divide so toxic also sorry

while we're on it if we don't allow women to acknowledge a problem if we don't allow women to say motherhood is bad sometimes, motherhood is hard sometimes. If we don't allow that conversation, how are we going to get a solution? This is the thing. How are we going to ask for one? If we can't rally enough between me and you to say being a mum's quite hard, isn't it, in this one specific area? If only there was something we could do about it, if only there was a government body we could talk to. But if we're not allowed to talk about it being bad, we're not going to go to the government. They want us, they want us all like, hey, it's fine. You're not in hell.

You're happy. You're fulfilled because you've had babies. And also, some people. who have children may well be in hell. There's a Reddit thread or whatever you call a forum like dedicated to people who regret having children. How do you know? Who have children. I am the O.P.

There's already a parent that started. Is it the OPE? Is that what you call it? The person who opens the forum. Anyway. Some people who have children are in her friends may genuinely be in hell. Like that's just what she's experienced and what she's seen. That's just her own lens. But yeah, you're right.

If we constantly, like, if we constantly say, oh, mothers are always moaning, like, they, if they find it so, and the other thing that they chose to do, yeah, I don't know. But also, if we say mothers are always moaning, why don't we, here's an idea, right? Why don't we try and fix what they're moaning about? Rather than just accepting that they're going to be miserable,

like, oh, I can't afford childcare. I know what we could do to stop all these women moaning, we could make childcare affordable. Wouldn't that be like, insane? And then they'll be happy. Fuck, child care is so expensive. Child care is so fucking expensive. It's disgusting.

It's disgusting. It's outrageous. And it is like, it is such a, like, shit. Oh, I could talk about this. I want to talk about us. I want to talk about this. Yeah, that would be really cool. I'm going to make that happen.

Because we did, it's so important. We did talk to her, I think. We did. I think she was up for it. Yeah, she was. And it didn't quite work out. But yeah. I didn't realize until I had children that this is a feminist issue that spans way beyond mothers.

Like, we as women and as people, need to be talking about it too. The reason the gender pay gap as big as it is is because we don't have paternity leave it. And if we did, it would close like that. And we'll talk about that another time. I am triggered by this. I do want to say as well, sorry, just one thing what I'm thinking, because I'm thinking of the people listening to this and a lot of them don't have children yet, but are thinking about having children wondering and like maybe potentially feeling scared by comments like that. And I think it's important to say that a lot of the time people equate hard with, or no, people conflate hard with bad. And like, I think a lot of the

time motherhood is hard and that's what we complain about or feel bad. Yeah, yeah. But it's not doesn't mean it's bad and that we're having a hard time. No. I would choose it every single time. It's difficult but great. Yeah, yeah. Choose you hard. You know what I mean? It's a weird contradiction but it's yeah. Oh my God. This is, I mean I said it slightly in a metro piece. I love being a mum. I love being a mom. Best thing I've ever done. Me too. So and I still have all those opinions. I find parenting quite hard. That's because it is. I find the grind of of the chores and like, yeah. It's really hard. washing the clothes. The constant cycle. That's hard. Yeah. But you're doing great. And you're allowed to say that it's hard. People

running marathon say that it's hard. We fucking moaned about running on marathes. No one going to hear you can do it. People just go, oh my God, well done. You're running a marathon. There's nothing like. They stand on the sidelines and they go, woo, you're running a marathon. There's nothing else in life that we choose to do, that we get so much shit because we choose to do it. You know what I mean? Apart from when I got my hair dyed all those colors, I got a lot of shit for that. All that, like, rainbow, the rainbow hair, yeah.

That was a lot. That was a lot, yeah. I enjoyed it. I deserved every ounce of shit I received for that. Keep it coming. Every time you came to the studio, we'd be like, whoa. What have you done? I know, and now it's changing naturally

because it's going blonder again. It is, it's blonde of the roots. I thought I was going gray. Honestly, the amount of times I've caught myself in my rearview mirror when I'm driving on my, I'm going to crash the car. and then I'm like, oh no, it's just, this is not my natural colour. I'm a fucking mess. No, I actually think it's a real nice colour right now.

It's all right. I like it. It's not what I want to be, but I can't get into all of that right now. Enough is enough. Okay, well, yeah, enough is enough. I think we need to wrap up. Let them go. It's been a hoot.

It has. I've loved it. Me too. Great. I love talking with loads of news stories. I know. TikTok takes. TikTok takes.

Maybe this is where we should call? I don't know. Stop. Stop. I like it. We promise and we wouldn't do another rebrand but we can add it as a little segment.

You know, we can use it. We'll see if it sticks. A segment within the rebrand. Yeah, let's just, let's use it amongst friends. An add on.

See how it goes. Okay. Try it's like, yeah, it's like, you know when you can buy like a clip on fringe before you cut the fringe. Yeah,

yeah, I like that. It's just, it's a good clip on fringe. Give us a couple of weeks with it. Oh, we can end every week by saying, thanks for coming to our TikTok take. Like TED Talk. I don't love that. No.

Okay, no, no, okay. No, okay Dex, do you also hate it? It's not good. Brutal! I take it back, you're not my friend. Continue yourself ghosted. Thanks so much, guys.

On my ghosting. Okay, yeah. All right, love you. We will see you next week. Bye guys. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network. Thanks.