Should I Delete That? - Just Us: “How I lost 10 pounds” - is toxic diet culture back for good?

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

It feels like the online conversation about weight loss has shifted - in a huge way. In this episode we discuss why and how big creators are suddenly talking openly about weight loss - and the effect that it’s having on us. On 3rd September in Edinburgh - we’ll be continuing this discussion live on stage. If you’d like to join us - you can get tickets at SIDTLive.com We also have lots of goods and bads and awkwards for you… (mainly bads and awkwards actually) - if you have an awkward that you’d like to share, or if you would like to join in with our conversation around weight loss noise, you can email us on [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Dex RoyVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Sarah EnglishMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, should I delete that listeners? We are just days away now from our live show in Edinburgh and we are so excited to see you guys there. So in light of the conversations that we've been having recently about body image, both online and on the podcast, we wanted to bring this conversation to you live. We're going to have an interactive and intimate chat and we would love to explore this topic with you. We know we're not the only ones feeling the weight of this huge societal shift at the moment and we feel like this is a really timely opportunity to get together and to have a conversation that we hope will be really, really meaningful and there are still tickets available. If you want to join us on the 3rd of September

in Edinburgh, you can find links to tickets either in the show notes or you can go to SIDT Live.com. As ever, we want to thank our partner Simprove for sponsoring this show. Reminded that you can get 50% off the first 12 weeks at the rolling subscription by using the code delete 50. Al, I'm not sharing mine with you. You need to pack your own Simprove this trip. Come on. Hello, and welcome back to do that. I'm excited. And I'm M. Clarkson.

I apologize in advance for the energy that I bring to today. You are bringing good energy. I'm just bringing a lot. I don't know if it's good. There's just a lot of it. There's just an abundance of energy. I can feel it. Sorry.

No, we love it. We love the energy. How are you? I'm good. Hot? I'm good. Don't want to talk about it. I'm not talking about it.

Not me. Not me. A little bit I've got my head I have my head on this morning It looks really beautiful I'm really sorry I didn't say to it

No no I didn't know I didn't know with some tight curls I did pause for a compliment That never came That's okay I spent around three or four times When I walked it in And no one flagged it

A lot of switching And over my shoulders I did think those are some nice tight curls I know well you know what it's like As soon as you start to sweat It just goes to shit doesn't it I don't think it's fun to shit It goes frizzy

That's because you're going out tonight Going out tonight Going out and you've been shopping this morning I know You're like a real girl I popped into Zara to see if I could get a top. And it felt like the old days. You came in here with a Zara bag and I thought, what's happened?

I know. I got the train in today. And that felt like the old days. I feel like I'm in a time. I feel like I've time capsuled myself back to the Mid-Northy. You've been shopping. It's the summer holidays. Like it's hot.

I went to Paddington Station. You went to Zara. One morning. I know. I feel like one of us should go and get like a nice something from Costa. I feel like I should be wearing one of those big belts, you know, those big low slung you're the low slung coin belt yes no I'm with you or something wicker yeah yeah and I simpler times I know good old days I saw a meme I shared it I weren't shut up about it because it's going to

it's become incredibly profound to me but about how like growing up is basically being your 14 year old self but learning to love her this time and I did have that kind of sitting on the train this morning and I was like wait say it again I've virtually bad didn't I yeah a little bit can that Yeah, let's have the full version. Maybe growing up is just becoming who you were at 14 again, but learning how to love her this time. Now, in lots of ways, I hope that's not the case, because I was reminiscing about the time when I was 14

and I fell down all the stairs at Paddington Station in my stupid, slippy cowboy boots. I'm like, I don't want to be that version of me again, necessarily. But like, you know, wonderment and the hope and excitement and the giddiness. I can, yeah, I can not hating yourself. I can get with you on that part, yeah. I don't really think I loved who I was. was at 14.

Well, apropos of that. A bit stupid. I can't, no comment. But like, I'm still, but less stupid. But I don't think, I don't know. I mean, on the hating yourself thing, I do, we obviously have the live show in a week, a week, 10 day, imminently, live show, third of September. I think there's still some tickets, if you want to come in Edinburgh.

Yes. Good plug. And we're going to talk about a lot, body image and diet culture and shit. But like, fuck balls. The internet's insane at the moment. The internet is. We've gone feral. I'm not going to stop talking about it

and I don't want you to stop talking about it. And I think we need to keep being outraged about it once or twice a day for the rest of forever. Everyone's just saying the quiet bit out loud now. Like, it gets worse every week. We've thrown subtle in the bin. We've thrown subtle and implicit... What's the noun?

You know what I mean? Implicitness. Implicity. I don't know. We've thrown that stuff in the bin and we are just being like, Yeah, like, baiting over, let's just, let's just say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We want to be thin. This is how we're getting thin. Yeah. This is how you two can be thin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, big creators are just, this is how I lost 20 pounds. Yeah. It's like, oh, okay, here we go.

Again. Okay. Yeah. But it's worse. It's way worse because, look, I've written this video. By the time this comes out, I hope I had time to record it and I've put it up. But, like, I got very profound thinking about it on the train this morning because there's a John Cleese quote that says, So, hang on, sorry.

It's not why I was expecting you to go with John Cleese. I'm not going to just stop doing 40 hours. But he says in it, he said, the despair I can handle, it's the hope that kills. And I always think that because disappointment is more painful than consistent sadness to me. Like I can accept despair. I can accept this is our fate. But hope is painful because hope comes with disappointment. I am by nature, a very hopeful, optimistic person.

But I feel, I think, particularly hurt by these creators doing that because we had the despair of the noughties and the 90s. We acknowledged the despair, the eating disorders, the misery, the suffering, the keeping ourselves small, the missing out on our lives, on our childhoods, on our memories, on the pictures, all this shit. We witnessed all of that. And then we thought, we'll do better. Had the body positivity movement for a bit, everything got better.

There was diversity. There was hope. There was inclusion. There was change. and now it's like it was right there and we fumbled it and that disappointment hurts more than if we hadn't had the body positivity movement

in the first place to me I feel so just like fuck I know what you mean and I do think about this a lot I do think there's I think the body positive like net positive

the body positivity movement I do I do and I think it's like it's been really good for a lot of people in that it like okay yes Now we've gone back to like using just thin models and really thin models, which is a whole thing in itself. But it did call for like better like diversity within brands.

And I do think I still see leftovers from that. I know this all sounds really pitiful. But also it did change our lives right too. And it did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it, I actually think it planted seeds in a lot of people of like, who am I doing

this for? Okay. Because ultimately I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing this for like a larger, like a greater system. And my kids. to control me and dictate how I look. And I'm not really pleasing myself here. I'm pleasing this, like, this wider system.

Yeah. And I think once you realize that, I don't think you can unrealize that. And I think that will always stay with you. So I do think, and hope that it planted those seeds. I agree. That are still there.

And maybe we will still, because we do, like humans, we go with the crowd, with the herd. Like, we follow the herd and we go with trends and we follow them. but I do think that ultimately, I don't know, this is just me probably. No, you're right, no, you're right. Ultimately, we'll go back to that.

You are right. I think I'm just more cross. I think I'm just more cross with the individuals. No, I'm really, I am so, do you know what, I'm actually tired of being cross. I'm not cross anymore because I just think like, I don't have much faith in, I think the person, actually the person that we're talking about,

even though we're not going to say it, was she ever a, because I don't know, because I've never followed her, but was she ever within the body acceptance space, did she ever talk about that? No, and I think that's the thing that almost is the most frustrating. Okay. I think what I feel like has happened is that culturally,

a lot of people have just been waiting. I'm more annoyed that they couldn't do it with their chest before. It's like you didn't believe in body positivity, you were just silenced by it. Like it was going on, you didn't agree with it, but you didn't argue it. you just sat there and now it's safe to say this stuff again. You're like, okay, this is actually what I think.

And it's like, that's fine that you thought it. But I wish you could have challenged this at the time. And it could have been a dialogue. It could have been a safer dialogue because it actually doesn't make sense and it's not right either side that at this point, body positivity, for lack of a better word, body confidence, self-acceptance, whatever. Activists are quiet and other people are quiet. Like, it feels frustrating that one gets the limelight at a time and that isn't really

a discourse in between and it did feel like there wasn't any positive or meaningful discourse within body positivity mainstream because it was well you're just glorifying obesity and that was the only conversation and it was really visual as well it was all on visuals yes and it was very frustrating that we never got any nuance and we never got any there was never a possibility that we could have a conversation about healthy weight loss during that era yeah yeah and so it's annoying that that went and then now we've just gone straight to the weight loss stuff and there wasn't a crossover point in between where anybody was brave enough or anybody felt strongly enough that we could have stood up and had a conversation because there's plenty of great space in the middle here where

you don't have to do either thing and there's plenty of space where you can want to lose weight and do all of that like there is plenty of space that we could have had meaningful conversations but it does feel frustrating that it felt like everybody waited for permission and you know there were there were people who were brave enough to stand up and say like and there were even some body positivity creators who said I'm thinking of one in particular I don't think she'd mind me saying Kenzie Brenner who in the middle of the body positivity movement and she was part of it as well she said I'm embarking on an intentional weight loss journey and people ripped into her yeah see this is they absolutely tore her down for it and this is the thing and it's and it's because

like and I actually just I don't even think this is about like anything to do with like body positivity or weight loss whatever it's just that we are so bad at nuance and like we're so bad we're so bad at living in the grey area we just binaries like we can't and it's a shame because I think that massively, and we talked about this in the series, but that hugely contributed to the downfall of body positivity because we weren't able to have any conversations within the middle and everyone, not everyone, but a lot of people felt like the pendulum just swung too far. We ate ourselves to, we've brought it back and again we've sent it in the other direction because this is just what we do. Yeah, that is, that is our

fault. Like it is, yeah. We, and I think that's like that there has to be a bit of self-reflection there and be like, yeah, definitely. We fuck that and we need to not fuck it next time. But I think within it, I actually don't know how we don't fuck up this side too. Because I think if we're too angry with individual creators, we're going to just do exactly the same thing on the other side. Yeah. So we need to not be angry.

And I don't feel individual blame particularly. I'm more, I feel cross with the situation. I feel wild about the situation. But individually, I'm like, okay. There we go. You know what I mean? I'm not particularly putting any blame on individuals because I don't think it's going to get us anywhere good

but it's fucking weird no and that's usually where I land on like it's like it's low hanging fruit to attack the individuals like we need to attack the system and like systems where we need systemic change rather than like oh you've done bad thing but I can't really help when I see a huge creator like this one who

does I mean creators are doing it all over the place The creators are doing it all over the place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even think we need to put it on an individual because everybody's doing it. Yeah, everyone's doing it. Of like, this is how I'm losing weight. I'm going to sell you something to help you lose weight. Because we've had this movement and because we have so much information now

and we know so much about why it's damaging, like the damage it does to people and we know that the rates of eating disorders are through the roof, I do feel like, you know, we always, always say, like, you only know what you know until you know better. These people know better and they're choosing to put that aside for their own profit and gain and their own, you know, their own personal, yeah, their own personal gain. And that I just find quite hard to forgive. Yeah, that's true. But that's, but yeah, you're, but then they do have the right to lose weight. They know why, you know, you know, we all and we know they can't hide it because that's the other thing

that we will trash, we will trash them to bits for hiding it. Because you are this accountability and don't be secretive and like, yes, we do. We trash them when they lose weight. We trash them if they tell us. We trash them if they don't tell us. But then if they're selling us something that even just alludes to, like it's something that's helped them lose weight. Well, then honestly, just like, I'm trying to be night.

I'm trying to be nice. I know. But then where do the GLP ones fit into it? You know what I mean? Because it's like, by virtue of doing that, you are selling. You know, by virtue of talking about it, you're promoting it. you're promoting it. But then we would argue. But if you're selling something, that's true, that's true. That's for your own individual gain. Because we would argue before that you're not

promoting obesity just by virtue of being obese. So are you promoting a gLP one by virtue of one? No. In the same way, you're not promoting obesity, no. So it is really complicated. And I think we're just doing that thing which is stupid, which is being bogged down with the individual stuff. But then that gets complicated. That matter because it's like you're not promoting obesity because no one wants obesity because obesity is the thing that our society has feared and vilified for forever. So there's that as well, whereas thinness is something that our society's glorified for the longest time. And it's been like, we've wanted it, especially women above all else. So it's different, isn't it? Because then if you're, you're not promoting JLP ones because

you're just taking them and you're just talking about them. But then it is something that everyone wants and it's like a means to get there. So it's different. I don't know. I don't know. But then, but then, but the whole, yeah, sorry, I don't know, we're getting into the weeds. It's difficult. I think it's very difficult. interesting though and I could do this with you for like I found it very interesting doing this with you I think I could do it forever but I am annoyed that I don't get to where I want to be because I don't think I don't I don't know how we get there but it's like no I don't know either I want it to say I want to say it's not affecting me but it's fucking it's exhausting yeah it's exhausting

it's a lot the food the noise around car like I thought that was all gone and I kind of thought it was like I got the Mandela effect I kind of thought like no way will be that scared of bread and shit before you know like but it's back like I just everything I see is just like go it go away I'm gonna be my bastard leave me alone it's it's hard it's it's really hard and when you're not when you're not on a weight loss because I feel like I'm in a space where I'm not on a weight loss journey but I don't I am not like the size that like this that like I should I'm not a size that's like, desirable, let's say. So, like, people would look at me and think, like,

oh, she should be on a weight loss journey. And all of the before pictures that I'm seeing online are people who look like me, but I'm not on the weight loss journey. So that I'm finding quite difficult. Because, like, a lot of the before pictures are people that just look like me. I know what you mean. But also, I actually think that before pictures are getting crazy now. Smaller, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But they're like, you see a perfectly, like, it is wild what the before pictures. is our, like body dysmorphia is alive and well. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, I agree with you. And it's like, yeah, I don't know. I feel the same. And it's like I don't feel, I don't look like I used to look. I feel like this is a really intense time to be postpartum.

I find exercise very confusing. I find my content around exercise. Like, I want to acknowledge things and then I don't want to acknowledge. Do you know what I mean? Like, I think people treat exercise as synonymous with losing weight, particularly at the moment. And it's like, no, I don't think you understand if I don't run, I'll die. Because my mental health is shocking if I don't.

I think that's why exercise content that isn't related to weight loss is so important. It's true. Which is what you do. It's so important. Yeah, that's true. And it's so refreshing to see it, reframed as something else. Yeah, that's true. I saw a guy who did a, like, a critic video of a girl who was a person.

They were both personal trainers. And she said, this is, these are the things I do that, like, aren't typical for a personal trainer. like I don't count my calories. I don't, da, da, blah, blah, blah. Like, I eat intuitively. Like, I will have mayo on my salad, things like that. And he was like, this is so irresponsible. This is so irresponsible for a personal trainer to be saying this because weight loss

goals. And I was like, but you are just presuming, you're not even making the point. You are just presuming that everyone follows her, that everyone who wants a personal trainer, everyone who's interested in personal trainer content is doing it for one reason and one reason only to lose weight. On that. He didn't even mention it. Joe Wicks, and I will name him,

put up his bloody video about his bishops last week. Yeah. And I'm such a baddie. Like I had a whole thing of Jaffer Cates. And it's like, buddy, go to therapy and stop. Sorry, I'm going to get in trouble. But stop putting this. Stop.

You are, whether you like it or not, upheld as somebody that people look to for knowledge and for comfort and for safety. And they want to better themselves and they want their children to be healthy. You have marketed yourself for someone who could help them get. there. And now promoting that is disorder eating behavior. And I'm very troubled by how many parents follow him because so much of the lockdown stuff was about getting your kids moving well. And it's like, if you're talking like that, you're normalising it to parents who are going to go forward and have these conversations with their kids because that's what they've heard

a professional say. If you are lorded as a professional, if you're respected within an industry, you have a responsibility to not talk like that. It is so frustrating that. How have we got here? Dr. Joshua Woolrich is talking much better about that. And he says things. with his chest. Go and follow him because I'm going to get myself in trouble. But it's just insane. Look, we've got to.

We are going to do this live in two weeks. I wonder if how long that show will be. It'll be like six hours. I'll say, yes, good point. But everyone's like, can we go home now? We get it. It's bleak. It won't be bleak.

We really, we are so interested in this. And we are obviously, can you tell we're researching it? And very aware that this is changing all the time. Literally, constantly changing. looking for having this conversation live and we want there to be much more practical hope within that you know yeah definitely individual hope and because this has just been a big trauma job yeah we're going to come with solutions yeah that will be more healing than this we're going to come with some optimism yeah here are all the problems yeah well this is a despair

we'll give you the hope in edinburgh yeah and if you do want tickets to come and say it's on the third of september head to siddt live.com for tickets It's like, okay, goods, bads, awkwards, please, madame. Awkward is, I don't have the inside burp that I think I do. I've known that for four years. Yeah, but I just have believed you. How? Like, you have gas-lit yourself to an extraordinary level, but everything we do is on mic.

We've heard them. But the burps always get edited out, thankfully. Please don't stop doing that, pay. Please stop doing that pay. confront her with herself. I was in a doctor's appointment. It was at fertility staff. Dave was there and we were talking to the nurse.

Oh, no. And it was in a room that was very quiet, no music, nothing like that. And I just did, like, it came upon me and I did an inside burp. Yeah, yeah. And real, Dave, the horror, like lightning speed in his head, like, whipped at me. Like, what the fuck did you just do? And I was like, it's not inside, is it? No.

But like, yeah. shock no no did she react she was very professional yeah extremely professional she didn't look up

she carried on what she was doing okay and I just went very I were abuse and it was horrible yeah

yeah no you need to get a check on those and I don't want to shame you because it's like you know all God's creatures and like

human bodily function just like follow them you know what I mean but I think that's what I was doing I don't know I need to work out

a better system I feel absolutely feral when I do like a burp in my mouth and then you have to and let it out sometimes. I'm like, I hate myself.

You know when you do it sometimes and you have like, you have your little coaxeero and then you do a little doubt, you're like, and then I'm like, I'm going to hate myself. No, you're going to let that out. You've got to make a really good noise of it. The burp is one thing. It's the fact that it has to escape is what I hate the most. And I'm like, no, sorry.

But do you swallow it normally? If I can. That's not good. There's a reason it's trying to come out. You would have better than, well, in someone's face, yes. But if you've got your own space. I don't know. I don't know.

I never have. my space. I've got two kids. The kids don't care. No, but everybody cares. I don't even think Zaddy has nose buds at this point. All right started like busting me. Like always developed the sense of smell. I don't know when kids become aware of smells.

Oh, I don't know. Well, now, because she just starts going like, oh, what's that smell? I'm like, it's me. It's always me. I've done a far. Like, I was always safe with her and I'm not safe anymore. So annoying. That's so funny.

I never really think about that. It's coming. It's coming. It's scary. Yeah, no. He's going to develop some awareness. And it's hectic. I feel like you have a million goods for me.

I've got a million things to share in general. Well, I've got a bad. I went to a fun fairly the day. It was crap, actually. I'm going to be honest. It was a fair. I'm going to, I didn't deserve the fun. It was a fair.

I went to a fair. Then I went on the big bouncy castle, and they didn't let adults on the bouncy castle. And it was a big bouncy castle. I mean, slide like, like of a two-story, three-story house, side slide. Wow. Yeah, big slide. Wow.

But they said no adults on it. So they let me pay for Arlo. Well, they let me pay for me too, obviously. And then Olo went on and they were like, you can't go on. And I was like, look at the sides of her. Of course I have to go on. I can't put her on here by myself. And they're like, sorry, a few weeks ago, a guy fell and he broke a kid's arm.

So no, no adults. And I was like, okay, well, it's my adult. Like, I'm only, we're the only people here. Can I go on it? No, can't go on it. I was like, fine. Okay. So I stood next to her.

We didn't go near the big slide. We just went on the boring bouncy castle of it. She's bouncing. and then she went oh Elsa and Anna and I was like oh where thinking there'd be a nice painting of Elsa and Anna somewhere on the bouncy castle and she's waving a used plaster. Oh stop it that's so disgusting. I think we're going to go home now. I think we're going to go home now. I think we're going to scrub your hands for a four or five days. Oh my God what is it so so plasters are so gross. Absolutely feral and then I obviously then I made I put it down and then that was like heartbreaking because she's just

aren't her two favorite people on the floor and I've made her leave them there. It was a lot. So that was bad. Did you say it's like attached to like rotting dead skin? No. I didn't say that. No. Because she's too. I say I take what I'm going to do. I'm going to take this home and we'll give it to Alex's dad to put in the drawer. I know that little flashback. Oh, that's so disgusting. That was actually made me feel safe. It was really bad. Yeah. Bad bad. Bad bad. It's funny, isn't it? Because you like as an adult, you shield yourself from things that you find gross. you find disgusting and then when you have a child

they reopen you to that world again there's nothing you can do like my friend's daughter has worms oh don't even talk to me I can't abide worms that's disgusting that is disgusting I must get any animal

you could give me any animal if you confronted me with a worm I think I'd cry or be sick but like as an adult responsible for no one else you don't have to deal with that but then when you've got a child

you have to just nothing you can do and that's horrible and advice that i don't even i can't even oh my god i know i know i know i know i know i know i just kind of lose my mind i know no i'm with you um all of it just sounds like dave's problem honestly it really does it won't be you'll probably get the worms in the life that's a that's the that's the bugger no you don't get the word my mom's mom used to worm her children when she wormed the dog because she thought she had to do the whole family

different kind of worms right yeah different kind of Yeah. Yeah, that's how we got onto that topic. Dog worms, human worms. Yeah, do you have anything bad? Not bad. Just more of like an observation that I wanted to bring to the podcast. Okay.

As I do. I went to a party and a girl was wearing a denim, a denim strapless dress. Like a boob tube. I'm going to say boob tube. Okay, good for her. And I loved it. And I was like, I really like your dress. And she was like, oh, I'll send you the link.

And I was like, you can't send me the link for that because. was, like, she's really thin, no boobs, right? I was like, if I wore that, it would be so graphic. Imagine with these, like, enormous, like, double Z boobs, it would be so graphic if I wore this denim boob tube. And it just, I don't know, it just made me think about how it's so limited what you can wear. With boobs. With boobs, yeah, to people who are thinner and just don't have boobs.

I was just kind of seeing myself next to her in it. And I was like, everyone around would be. like, oh my God, have you seen that girl? With the great boobs. With the enormous boobs. It was like, with the dress slipping off them. I think you'd look great. I think you'd look great.

I want to see you in a day of boot tube now. It would be graphic. It would be so graphic. It makes it up a bit out. You've done this. We've been here. You know what I mean? New era for you. Let's go graphic.

Let's do weird. Next couple of years. Yeah, let's just really throw people off. Let's just undo a bunch of buttons. You know, just little. Get the whaps out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just see how it feels. You know, have a little way. Hey. No. But it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, but it's, it's a shame, isn't it? Like a, like a, like a big thing that we need to dissect. But it is a shame, isn't it? Because I mean, I hope that you wouldn't because I do think fashion is changing a bit. But I can also hear your self-consciousness. And we talked, we talked about this, we could talk about quite recently. So within that, it's like, that's the sad bit. It's that for whatever reason, whether it's because you've been sexualized.

or because of whatever like you feel you don't feel that you would ever be comfortable in that outfit that's the sad part because I don't think it's about how you look

I think you would look amazing I can think of plenty of people with big boobs who would wear something like that and probably have the confidence to do that actually and do you know what on my hendo

because it was only just girls that I wore I wore this it was a house of C.B. dress Slay yeah and so my boobs were like practically out on them and I felt so comfortable

yeah Like I just wasn't worried, I wasn't concerned, I just felt comfortable in it. And like, no one cared. Yeah. And I just, I wish I could do that. Yeah. But I just, I, the moment there's, it's like male presence, male energy, I just feel really uncomfortable with it.

Yeah, I understand that. Yeah. Yeah, so I think that's, that's the sadness thing. No, it's a big, dark thing. No, it's, you know. Can you bring us back up? Yeah, maybe we could do something like immersion, like, like, exposure therapy. Maybe we need to just like, like, I don't know, take your skinny dipping.

Or like, maybe that's how you, uh, confront it. maybe we just get like loads of men. No, this is, I'm not loving this hand of this. I'm not, wait, wait, wait, what? As I was saying, I was like, oh, I don't know. Hot. Yeah, no, no. Bad, bad.

Yeah, no, no, no, no. Yeah, no, I don't think this is going to be, I don't think you'll be comfortable. I hear what you're saying. No, yeah. I think there might be something in the, the liberating act of skinny dipping or something similar, for example. I think you might have some fun with that. I think you could have some fun with that.

I need to dig into this, don't I, why I feel like this, but I just, I don't want to do exposures there because I just don't want a man looking at my boobs. I really don't want it. How does your husband feel about that? Is it all men? No, no, no, he's allowed to look at them. He can look at them. Yeah, it's any of them. No, I really understand it. And I just, I don't, I just don't want to shame you as well. I don't want to, like, and I don't want to minimize it by telling you to go skinny different. Because if your feelings are your feelings and they're completely valid. I'm not going skinny different. But I also don't want to make you one pick it here if it's like a therapy thing. Because then we just, then we've just, we've just picked open the, we just picked off the scat. I don't want to do that to you now and then send you home with a gash.

Like, I'd rather you did this in the safe space and I'm not sure I am that safe space. Because I'm like, get them out. Let's move on. Yeah, I am the opposite. I think I'm just like, whee, like, I think it's breastfeeding. I'm feral with him now. Do you know what? It's probably, yeah, I do wonder if I breastfed it, what we would have made a, would

that have made a difference? It's completely changed my attitude to my own boobs now. I'm like, if you're sexualizing them now, you're weird. You know what I mean? And I'm like that, I make that then problem. You internalize so much shame and whatever when you've got big boobs because you're like they're my like this is my cross to bear whereas now I'm like if you want to sexualize this you're a pervert and so that sounds more like your problem than my problem and there's a lot

of peace within that so now I'm just like and like I don't get in that definitely and also they don't look like my boobs look functional now that's the only way I can describe it like the different sizes I mean I've literally one of them's got like a scab on it because I think he's biting me like I like they I know they're like they're like they're big and milky and all that shit They're not, I don't look at those and be like, this is a sexual body. I'm like, this is a functional body. It's barely functioning even, but like, I'm built for purpose right now. So I think within that, there's a lot of freedom where I'm just like,

definitely. I don't know how I see them. Yeah, I always getting funny about them, though. It's all weird. Well, I don't know. I mean, it's got to be hectic for her, like, because she's got a little body and then I've just got this like, like, bigger body. And then, I don't know, kind of interesting.

But it's fine. Did I tell you that when Tommy hops, when he jumps, he holds his boobs? I told you this. Because I hold my boobs. How often are you hopping and jumping in front of him that he's picked this up? Sleeping bunnies, man. That fucking song, we must do it like, little bunnies, hop, hop, hop, hop. In nursery, they've got an Alexa and so they say Alexa put sleeping bunnies on.

Everybody hates you right now. Anyone listening to this in their own house hates you because they're all now, frantically trying to turn hop little ponies. She's off whilst you were still speaking. I told me we walked around the house going, Alex, Alex, because he's trying to say, Alexa. So I'm like, you want sleeping bunnies, don't you? So he put sleeping bunnies on. I have to hop with him, can't properly, got to hold the boobs because of giant boobs. And so now whenever he hops or jumps, he also holds his boobs.

It's very sweet. That is absolutely adorable and endearing. I thought he was calling you Alex. I, at Ollo now, when she needs Alex, just goes, babe. No, she doesn't. That's me. Because that's what you call them. That's what I do.

So if we're sitting in the house and she's like, oh, I need more of something. She'll be like, I want another yogh or whatever. And I always go, because I'm always feeding Zampi or whatever. So I go like, oh, let's ask daddy. And she just goes, babe. That is so sweet. I'm obsessed. I'll just stand at the bottom of the stairs and just say, babe.

That's so cute. So cute. I love it. I love it. I'll feel like I, oh, I just have an awkward. I just have got awkward. Okay. Just because I hate myself.

It's not even that awkward. Nothing awkward specifically happened Other than I went to the Greece Secret Cinema, no, I've been to Secret Cinema before Oh, no It was really fun Yeah, I went to Greece, it was in Battersea Park Oh, Greece, yeah

Not Greece like the country Elbow rather than Greece like Danny Zugo So fucking fit Like it's ridiculous Like I'm talking about John Travolta You man

Oh, I see I see sorry I forget every time And then I'm like man Look at those hips Anyway I had to go on the red carpet thing And I didn't know who I was. They didn't know who I was.

It was fucking awful. Oh my God. That is the worst. It's the worst. It's the worst. Like, you have to because you've been, because we've been very kindly invited. So it's like, that's part of, that's what you do. So you go, you say, thank you so much for me to take it.

And they go, can you just come stand over here and they can stand over here. And then they go. But the worst thing about that was, like, we all know how this goes now. Like that's what you, that's why you're invited is to do that. So that's what you do because that's polite. And that's how you say thank you. And then when I get there, the worst thing was, they didn't specifically usher me to had to do because the first person had said it. So then I had to go and like introduce myself

to them and be like, hello, I'm here for next. And then I'm like, I hate myself. I hate myself. So then I stood like a lemon, obviously got all the photos back in my stupid shoulder straps on my leather jacket, which I shouldn't have been wearing because it was August, but I tried to dress in character. We're all unflapped. So I just looked like an absolute loser and it was excruciating. Oh, that's horrible. The worst is when a PR is like, oh, do you want to have your face taken? You're like, no, no, no, but you're ushered into it. And then you go there and then the photographers who are all waiting for celebrities, just drop their cameras.

And you're like, please at least pretend to take a picture of me. Just take one. Even if you go, click. Like, I just, this is anything. Say, jeez. It's excruciating. Because it's like, I always forget that, like, we are playing a game.

This is how the industry works. That is literally the point. So it's like, if you're, like, we are not invited because the brands want the pleasure of our company. When we get a hashtag gifted thing, it's not because they just really like us and they want us there.

It's because we have to put it on our social media and do all of that. And like, that's how you play. But I feel like we should just do our own content. It's okay when it's on our terms. But it's so humbling when it's on. It's so humbling. It's literally, I'm like, I, none of the, who am I? Who the fuck am I?

You can see them all the photographers looking at each other like, I imagine who she is because they all got a clipboard. Horrible. Anyway, grace was fun. So that was nice. Come to our live show, guys. Yeah. If you fancy it.

Sorry. Third of September. I don't know why I did it. It's okay. We'll move on. Third of September, Edinburgh, link to the show notes. We have not booked trains, hotels. I don't want to talk about it.

Are you bringing your kid? I'm bringing my kids. Who's going to look after them? I don't know. Are they coming? They're coming. I haven't thought about this at all. There's something wrong with August where I just think September is a year away.

When someone's like, it's in September. I'm like, oh, fine. I'll deal with that next year. Yeah. Well, you said today this live show is literally. really like a matter of weeks away. Days, days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So August is like, it's like a black hole.

It just sucks up, sucks up all, everything. Yeah. Love it. Okay. Okay. But goodbye. Okay. I feel frantic and scared. I told you. I bought energy today. We'll leave you be. See you on Monday. Bye.

Bye. Should I delete that as part of the Acast Creator Network? my best friend Tony and together we do the Tony and Ryan podcast. Montreal, bonjue. People right across Canada are listening to our daily podcast though, but don't just take our word for it. Jamie from Vancouver. I think people should listen to the Tony and Ryan podcast because

they are hilarious. There's no better comedy than Australian comedy they are unhinged. Thank you, Jamie. But just be warned if you're going up for a walk, you might laugh your ass off in public. But it's worth it, trust me. Oh, yeah, be safe out there. Yeah, take it easy. Yeah. Listen to Tony and Ryan every day.