Should I Delete That? - Just Us: Our intense friendship, momentary spirals and why we’ll get arrested…

Episode Date: October 22, 2025

Another day, another day not being mysterious… On today’s Just Us - Em’s found a silly online quiz for us to play. We discuss how academic success is not a indicator of intelligence, and we find out that Al has an affinity with a certain ubiquitous bird…Btw - if you’re like Al and are counting down til Christmas - you’ll be thrilled to know we recorded this LAST week and it’s actually only nine Fridays til Christmas. If you’re like Em… sorry for the existential crisis. Do you want to get in touch? You can email us on [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Elliott MckayVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Sarah EnglishMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome actually to meet that. I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing that. I hate that. I don't know when I was doing that. I'm M. Clarkson. Do you know there's only 10 Fridays or Christmas? I hate when people do this. Oh, God, why?

Are you kidding? No, no, why? That's so cool. Why are we counting down our lives? Like, I don't want it to be Christmas. No, it's not counting. Because then it's another year. It's counting up.

It's getting excited for Christmas. But then what about, I don't enjoy that because then I think, what about all the weekends now that are just sitting there like, what am I, and nothing to you? Like, what am I just.

You can still enjoy those weekends. Just like a leapfrocks. It's like a stepping stone. You can still have fulfilling, meaningful weekends until Christmas. But also, how cool that we're, oh, well, you just,

you brought me down. No, the marching drum of time is deafening as it, like, it's deafening enough to me. Like, I don't need it. I don't need it, you know, like, it gets me all the time. And every time I look on my calendar and I'm like, it's 20-25.

And then I'm like, oh, my God, it's the end of 2020-5. Literally. That happens to me about three times a day. So the last thing I need is, I wouldn't have thought that you'd have been like that. I don't know. I feel like that's a very me thing to think. Yeah, I agree. Yeah.

That doesn't seem like a vibe. No, I know. I think, I feel, for the fuck's sake, why am I always like psychoanalyzing me? I think I feel the pressure to have. Why don't I have to do this? What keeps happening is I want to be mysterious. so badly i keep thinking i'm going through this really like overwhelming period where it's like i wish i could just be a bit mysterious oh what's them up to who knows everybody knows

and i just wish i spoke less and it's so annoying okay well i mean you have a podcast that goes out two episodes a week it's too much but then i keep thinking is it too like is it too much like does it ultimately does it matter what people know do you know i mean like i might as well tell everybody everything because you know why am i protecting it why do you want to be mysterious well I fuck knows because I want peace but then I'm like why don't I just have peace within

the chaos you know so I'm having some spins but they're momentary they're like I'd say tornadoes rather than hurricanes okay in and now right okay like see the calendar momentary spiral give me three or four minutes

and I'm fine again you know what I mean like see my own name online I'm like oh my God and then I'm fine again I imagine your day as like like what's the opposite of like a flat line.

A hotline. Like very dramatically, yeah, yeah, yeah. A panic attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I imagine it as that you have like a thousand ups and a thousand downs. Yes. But the trick is to ensure that there's an equilibrium within that. We only go as high as we go low.

We only go as low as we go high. You know what I mean? And you believe that that's equilibrium. Yes. Okay, that's fine. That's good. That's good. To your point on enjoying the weekends between now and Christmas,

I feel there's joy on the way up and there's joy on the way down. And there's euphoria at the up up and there's misery at the bottom. But for both of the slides on the ups and the downs, there's good. So overwhelmingly, I'm very happy. There's just moments where I skim the bottom. Boop, boop, boop, depressed. Quickly. Only for a second.

I'm so fucking tired. Isn't it quickly, though? I don't know. I feel like you, no. Or maybe like they're so quick. Like it drives Alex, boy Alex, who's never been a woman, never been hormonal, and never had siblings. I feel like you and I, it's why our friendship works, we can get over shit so quick.

Yeah. Because we've had sisters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just get over stuff really cool. Yeah, because you have to. Actually, my brother too. My brother would punch me in a head and two seconds later. I'm like, fistball.

Love you. Yeah, we wouldn't do that. That would be a bit more. Yeah, you do have. You have to get over stuff. Which Alex doesn't do that. He needs like three or four days to stew and stuff. I'm like, baby, we haven't got time.

We're within a family. dynamic. That's a lot to Stuart. That is a lot of time to do on things. It's got it's sped up since kids. I think he's getting the hang of it now. But I think he's more on your speed. Yeah. I think within that I do, that's what I'm like, I'm like deeply miserable for a second. Five minutes. I wonder if a lot of this is ADHD connected. I suspect so. Yeah. The ups and the downs. I think so. They are more, that's more intense. The mood swings are more intense since I've been breastfeeding. Which is hormones. related which is exacerbating ADHD so yeah fine yeah because it's all dopamine right it's like

shift in dopamine yeah yeah but you know it's but like I am very happy like I just feel like moments of like oh my gosh like last night I said this on Instagram already but let me just expand on this like hell put his aunt to bed she's like ha ha ha fuck you I'm not going to sleep so she's up for like a casual two and a half hours just screaming just yelling literally fine Just like I will not sleep And I don't know why you want me to Oh my gosh So we think I'm making it worse

Because I got the goods You know so she's like wants my milk So Alex's like I'll swap with you So I've been doing like 45 minutes An hour or whatever it was I was up there I was like got to go Went down

Did it a momentary hula hoops To try and get some of my stress out Which works incredibly well In the way that like a dog shakes When it's stressed You know when like a dog gets really panicked And it shakes its head I feel like that's me with my hula hoop

It's just like just get the stress out Anyway So we got my stress out It was feeling better Then I had to go and edit because I'm like so behind on my work because I've had loads going on. So it's editing for 40 minutes. But in between the hula hoop of the editing, I saw potatoes on the hob. I thought, oh, Alex was cooking dinner.

I'll pick that up. Turn the hob on, up to nine. I wasn't wasting time. I wanted to boil those potatoes. Saw the potatoes. Saw the potatoes, thought, boil the new potatoes dinner. Delicious dinner, delicious. Yeah.

Went and did my editing. Yeah. ADHD there too, probably because hyperfocus. Did what I had to do. Got back up. I was like, oh, no, the potatoes will be mushy as hell because they've been boiling for ages. Went back in. Yeah.

They weren't mushy as hell. they were on fire because there was no water in the pan it was so bad and then I was like if I run them under the tap the smoke alarm's going to go that'll wake the baby up

not actually to sleep anywhere I could still hear a yelling so to go outside to the outside tap like the weather hoses at the front which I barely works and it's freezing cold anyway I'm like oh my God like if there's going to be a fire

it's got to be in the garden I've done that before that makes me feel so much better I've put potatoes on the hub before without any water how long did you leave them before? Mostly because it wasn't an accident I just didn't realise

they needed water it was a long time it was a long time ago five years like i was like 28 it's no i'm joking i'm joking it was like i was young how young i was in secondary school so i was young you know what i was ready to judge you and then i put a tin of microwave in the microwave in secondary school so i can't yeah we were we were all idiots back then yeah didn't know it asked from our elbows Still idiots now. But yeah, did you just forget to put the water in, obviously? I think I thought, because Alex was halfway through it.

I think I thought the potatoes are on the hob, he's put the water in. I don't have walked them. I didn't actually look at them. They've sort of in my perfideral. Oh, I see. On this, you know. In your? I know.

Go on. Let's have a go. No, it's easier just to say perfideral because I don't, I can't say the other one. I can picture it. Can you spell it? Are you joking? How long have you got? right so the word is peripheral yes if I were trying yes which I am yes but I'm not

because I'm chill you know cool girl doesn't matter if I didn't get it right P-E-R yeah perif I I feels like it's gonna have a pH this feels Latin okay and then I'm thinking parasol at the end like E-R-O-L peripheral so close was I so close was I so close one vowel What valour? What valour? Which vowel? The last one. I've done this with you before.

This doesn't make sense. Parasol and carousel. It doesn't make sense. Is this going to be another one of those? Is it an A or an E? A. What? Peripheral.

Peripheral. Well, why don't they call it a peripheral then? I can't do this with these people. No, I agree with you. This is so annoying. I agree with you. English language is the actual worst. Do you want, to people who can spell?

And I mean, I mean, I am, I know dyslexia is a thing. But, Which I have. But I mean, for other people who can spell things, do you just remember how to spell things? Like, is that how it works? Yeah. It's just in, like, so you've just got this huge roller decks of words that you remember how to spell. It's not like you do them phonetically in your head and think that.

No, no, no, no. So you just know how to spell all these words. Yeah, Faye? I struggled with peripheral just then as type it. But you just, you had it in there? Yeah. I don't have them there. If I close my eyes and picture a word

Can you see letters? Yeah. But if I have to picture a word... Okay. It's like they get there. Like I've got all the letters. If I imagine like the scope of my brain. You see like an anagram?

Nothing makes me more upset than anagram in life. Oh. Okay, can you do anagrams? Are you good at them? Obviously not. Oh, okay. That's really interesting. Yeah, because I didn't know if dyslexic people

would be able... If they're mixed up... It's really different. It's really different. Like, because I'm really good at reading. which is unusual in certain, like my brother's dyslexic also. Right. And he's really, really struggles with reading.

Okay. Whereas I can read really quickly and I love reading. When I read out loud, I'm not brilliant, but I'm not bad. Like, I'm okay. I'm getting better as I get older, weirdly. If I have to write down a word, like if you, if you spelt your name to me, I know how I spelled your name, but like, if you spelt like something to me, Nothing makes me more upset.

Nothing makes me more panicked. When someone sets off, they, if someone gives me their number and they start spelling their surname, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. But you can take down the numbers? I can do the numbers, yeah. But if they've already started doing their name and they're like, so it's like Stevenson and then they go, but Stevenson, I'm like, I can work that out because Stevenson,

like I can work out how that's going to go. But if they start spelling it and they go like, S-T-E, and I'm like, oh, my God, and my fingers, I get all sweaty and panicked. I mean, that makes sense, dyslexia. And there's a numbers version of it, isn't it? Discalculus. Yeah, I think so I don't have that.

Yeah. Do you know what? It's so awful, is my little sister, she's a middle child, poor middle children, honestly, middle child. She would just never read, like we were all bookworms, but she would just never, ever read, like, zero interest. We tried to get, like, mum and dad tried to get her into anything because she just wouldn't. She wouldn't read a thing. And she kind of struggled in school, but not like enough for investigation, I guess. And then got to uni and discovered that she's proper dyslexic.

I feel so bad I mean I don't it wasn't really my responsibility but my parents should feel very bad I don't think they should I mean maybe but I if I not said this before and here I was only diagnosed as dyslexic when I was 15

and I was only diagnosed ADHD really when I was 24 I actually feel very sad for myself because I know that I tried so hard as a kid and I know now that I was trying harder than everybody else

And I was never getting... Yeah. And it never made sense to me that I worked so hard and it never came to anything. And I felt like such an loser because I was like I'm trying harder than... I feel like I need to...

The effort felt so big for me and it wasn't until I was 15 and I was doing my GCSEs that I sat down with my tutor who was head of learning support. She said, are you something along the lines of... like, have you got your extra time card or something, you know, for the exams coming up? And I was like, what do you mean?

And she was like, well, feed a sexier. And I was like, I'm like, what? And then I had to go and do the test at 15. And it was like, this is crazy. I'm sure I've told you this. I got 98% in my English lit GCSE. And when I went back in for the new term for A levels, the teacher told me, my same teacher, and he told me it was a fluke.

Yeah, that's horrible. And like, I think my confidence was just like, well, what's the fucking point then? Isn't that such an interesting example, though, of how. like what we deem as success, like academics are success, school success, you know, having good grades is an actually indicator of how intelligent people are because you are so intelligent. Thanks. Yeah, I don't know. And obviously that didn't translate to grades.

But I think that's probably something, I think that's a lot to do with being neurodivergent as well. And that's a lot of times is the case for neurodivergent kids who really struggle within that school system. I have to say, like, I mean, I'm incredibly privileged, like, and, you know, so much of what came afterwards, you know, like, has happened because I've, I could live at home and I could try things and, you know, like, I am so, so lucky and I did have an amazing education. And I did learn a lot and had a, you know, really set me up and I had an amazing time. And I, I am so lucky and I'm lucky than the most. And like, I never want, and I, this is why I don't really like talking about it because it's like, even within that environment, I didn't thrive. So it's just like, but to, that I also would say it is disappointing as an adult, thinking to the inner child stuff we talked about it, it's a bit disappointing as an adult that even in that incredible environment, it was still that hard. Yeah, but because it wasn't the right environment for you. Well, I don't think school would have, but I don't think that needs to be the way. Like,

I think that I feel very passionately that needs to be a huge overhaul. A huge overhaul. Because I love learning. Yeah. I love learning. I think it's, I think it's so hard for Nora divergent kids to have to go into school and sit there for eight hours, sit still for eight hours a day and having to absorb all of this information. It's hard for neurotypical kids as well. Like it just doesn't, it's not a conducive environment to good learning for a lot of I would love to go back and learn more now. Because I would be, I have the tools to learn in a way that we have access to resources that are more tailored to people who don't learn in like a traditional all, like write things down, read them out over and over again

until they go in. Yeah, it was the same for my brother. It was probably worse to my brother. I think my brother probably had a harder time at school with that than me. But it's interesting, the sort of the attitudes, it's very much just like, oh, he's doing the boy. He's having fun. He's, you know, like the attitude was very different,

where he was like, oh, well, you know, not into books, but that's fine. And I guess you had the pressure of being the eldest as well. Eldest daughter. Eldest daughter feels like they have to really perform. Taylor Swift did a song about eldest daughter on the album. We should at least listen to that one. Oh, I should listen to that one, yes. I saw a stupid thing

online obviously Are we going to be attempting to spell things Yeah it's a spelling bee That's my kind of fun It's a spelling bee

Oh my god I bet you'd be really You know what Let's have a minute Have we got a minute every Okay Okay I'm going to give you some words Just because I want to see the magic

I want to see it I want to see what it's like Okay See how the other half live Pressure Can I have? Can you smell me thesaurus? Oh, that's probably really easy, isn't it? Yeah. Fine. Faye, can you think of some hard words to spell? Catalogue. No, that's going to be easy too, isn't it?

Yeah, that's so, that's quite. I'm thinking about, it's like, ah, uh, uh, door. Oh, it's a tough thing. No, I'm joking. Okay, spell Aluminion. A-L-U-M-I-N-I-U-M. I don't know. I don't know. I'm like, yeah, cool. Yeah. Can I write it? C-O-N-S-C-I-E-N-T-I-O-U-S. Yes. That was amazing. Can I just say something really sad on that? Can I say something really sad on that? I will try just for a lot. But someone gave me, you know, when you go to like a tourist, like a holiday shop and they have postcards with your name on. And there was one, I remember it's so vivid.

And it was yellow. Why am I going to cry? I actually need to go to therapy. There's this yellow car. It didn't say Kelly and you were like, it's Emily. It did say Emily. And there were flowers all around it and it described me. It described Emily.

And I took this as gospel and it said in it like a conscientious girl. And I remember reading that word being like, what the fuck? It took me ages and then I asked my mom. I asked my mom. what a conscientious was. And she described it, but kind of in like a, this is ironic,

because conscientious is like, you're thoughtful to the point of like, smart, like, it's kind of like a smart thoughtfulness. Yeah. It's like a, to do with your work. You do,

yeah, you do the work well. And I, I, that was when I learned what irony was. I was like, I don't know what this word is. So I'm haunted by it.

Did you buy it? You should have bought it. I had it. No, someone gave it to me. It was on my bedroom wall for years. I probably still got it I had it on my little notice board

like a kind and conscientious girl and I was like that's me because that's what the postcard says cute anyway okay let's move on a stupid quiz I said this too before they've been a bit generous with the adjectives

because they said seven ridiculously questions to ask a best friend and they weren't like I've got high expectations don't lower them go okay I think we could have probably taken out ridiculously and fun like it could have just said seven friends

because seven questions to ask you best friends and would have been said if I randomly got a reference what would you guess the reason would be for? It's not ridiculously far. It would be something to do with the car, definitely. Like some kind of parking offence, I think. That seems reasonable.

Oh, just for ignoring your post so much that you've ignored, like, maybe if you ignore like 20 court summons in a row, then it's immediate arrest. So there you go. Funnily enough, I don't think you have to ignore that many. Because I've had two now. And I think I'm on the line. Yeah, I think I know, need, expect that call.

If it were you, what would you be arrested for? Either, I was thinking about this, either driving too slowly, because I actually think they can do that. I think if you're on the motorway, like under 50, yeah, they get quite crossed. So I thought it would either be that or it would be something nursery related, like not leaving the premises or loitering too close by. Yeah, just standing at the window. It's a weird, like it would be a probably misunderstanding.

It would be like, she says she's a mom, but we just. But we're not sure. If I forgot everything tomorrow, what's the first thing you'd tell me about myself? That would be stupid. You shit of spelling. Don't even try. No, no, no. Given the conversation, I will not, I will not harp on that one.

Well, I'd tell you you've got kids. I'd be like, quick, you've got kids, go. Where are they? You think you've got two kids. Exactly the same. Go get them. Exactly the same. What animal gives the same vibe as me?

Oh, Labrador. Fine. Is it my appetite? You're definitely some kind of dog. Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, because you literally need to be walked to function and be happy. Yeah. And you can't sit still very much.

Mind you, dogs sleep a lot. Not booer. Or like a little, like, Dioricel bunny. Yeah, fine. I would say... Are you say a cat? Don't say cat. No, I wasn't going to say cat.

I was going to say like an owl. Because you're quite wise. You stay up late. They make nests and you're quite like nesting. Like you'll, you know, like you'll spend a while making the... They're not very neurotic. That's the only thing. Except they can turn their heads the whole way around which I feel like it's fucking weird.

Can they? No, they can. Yes, they can the whole way. That defies biology, like anatomy, surely. They can turn their heads the whole way around. horrible I've seen the video so I feel like maybe that is them being a bit neurotic because why have you got to see what's behind you all the time do you know what I mean let it go so I feel like maybe you're an owl I can see myself more as like a bat well that's what I was thinking something

that could fly sometimes I think like pigeon but in a kind way because sometimes I see pigeons I like that I like that I feel misunderstood quite a lot overwhelmed in the city are very overwhelmed that life. Underestimated, because actually they're incredible. They live for seven years and they can fly for ages. I'm always scavenging for food. I think that. You'd be amazing at the nest.

They're good parents. They lay their eggs and they make the nice nests. Yeah. I also, whenever I see them crossing the road, that does scream your energy. But I always wanted to say to them, you can fly. Like, why are you running? Because you can fly. Oh my God, I'm a fucking pigeon.

I think so. I am a fucking pigeon. Great. I can fly, but I prefer to stay on the ground. Yes, I always like, That's what I want to say to you. I'll fly. You can fly, but you want to stay safe.

And that's the pigeons. And they're like, running across the road. I'm like, guys, you can fly. We've got wings. Yeah. A pigeon. Yeah. Oh, my God, I am pigeon.

I am pigeon. Pigeon is me. I saw a seagull eating a pigeon in Brighton recently. Oh, horrible. What's a nickname you secretly always wanted to call me? I don't know. I don't know if these are ridiculously fun. They're not ridiculously fun.

I don't like, I don't care for that. had a nickname for you. I'm going to sleep on it. What I do with Boy Al and what I've done for years is I've had a lot of fun with ironically because I'm thick obviously and I don't know which ones end with EL and OL because the British language is stupid. But any word that ends like if Al fixes something I'm like, oh, practical. You know what I mean? I like that. I like that. I enjoy that. I sometimes make that fit for you. I like that. I'm going to tell. I'm going to tell sine a cow. Yeah, sceptical. Yeah. I love it. Oh my God, Comical. Oh my God, Comicalal. Hated that. I can't think of

any more, go. No, I think we do. Yeah, that's, yeah. No, I don't think I have, I, no, no. Embarrassing, if we're on the same theme. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Emphatic, emotional, emotional, that's good. if I told you I just thought amazing at spelling oh I'm sorry what because I'm so bad at it amazing at reading thank you next ridiculously fun question please if you had to sum up our friendship in one moment what would it be oh that's hard oh because we've had so much fun but I'm going to say a word that it has, can have negative connotations, right? But hear me out. No, I don't want to say it now because you're looking at me like that.

Okay, no, we're looking. Like, intense. Oh. But because we work so much together, we are so close. This is so interesting. We need to take this to a therapist because I just thought that was you. I just thought you were an intense person. Oh, really?

Yeah. Wait, what do you mean? Well, I just think, because I feel the intensity too, but I just figured it was you. I just thought, well, she's intense. I thought you were intense. Are we both just really intense? Oh my God, I've never thought of myself as intense. I've never thought myself as intense.

I always feel like I'm really chilled, but I'm always like, God, how's so intense? How am I? Oh my God, am I, faint? I'm paying my intense? No, she's like, no. No, but that's okay because, because I don't, I'm being intact, because I don't think it's necessarily like a negative word, you know. I don't need to be an intense.

What are we? Are we? Are we? What does that mean? Let me get the official definition of intense. I, we will go, but not until I understand fully what we both mean. Okay, intense. Having or showing strong feelings or opinions.

Yeah, I'd say I'm intense then. Yeah. Extremely earnest or serious. I think I can be both. Intent. Intense. more than the lad. An intense young woman, passionate about her art.

Is it gendered? Well, the, the Oxford Dictionary has used a gendered example, yes. That's interesting. Yeah. That's true. I wouldn't really describe a man as intense necessarily. Maybe I would. Yeah, I don't know.

I think I feel like, I don't know any, many, oh, I do know one intense man. And I'd call him that, so yeah, maybe I would use it for men. I feel like Dave's quite intense. I would describe Dave as aloof. I don't think Dave, earnest, or serious. I mean he's serious in like his disposition but I don't imagine he takes things like

too seriously No he doesn't he doesn't No no he doesn't he doesn't I don't think he's in too I think he's in what's the antonym of intense is Because I feel like that's Dave Mild or apathetic I would just I would more readily use those words

For Dave He is what he isn't I don't know it sounds quite old Okay yeah calm mild relax Weak light faint What I do think he's weak gentle, easygoing or low-key. I don't think we're any of those things.

I'm not easy-going. No. Dave is easy-going. He's also gentle. No, yeah, I don't think, I think we're both intense. Yeah, maybe. Without realizing it, I think we're both intense and come together. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah, maybe. I don't know, I'm thinking about our dynamic now. And, like, because I always feel like you're, like, we work really differently like that. Because I don't feel like yours is an intensity that's like, you know, sometimes when you feel like an intensity from a person and it's like they're going to burn through your head with their eyes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I don't feel like I get that.

I don't feel like it's like, my definition of intensity would feel like when someone was putting all of their everything into you. I actually quite like intensity in some people. I think it's a lovely thing to feel. Like I think it's a warmth. Yeah. So it's not necessarily a bad thing. But I feel, no, no, no, sorry, but I, like, it's an interesting quality in a person.

And I do think overwhelming. I think intensity is quite nice because I do, I think it brings with it a warmth and a passion and an enthusiasm, which is lovely. Yeah. But I think maybe, I don't, I don't, like, feel like our dynamic is always intense. No. But then. I feel like, I mean by intense is like, I don't have any other friendship that's so involved in so many different levels. Yeah, and I know what you mean.

It's like all encompassing. But then it... We have very different conversations. A million times. Yeah. Yeah. One will be about like... Like, we'll go from like a parenting struggle

straight to being like... Even the studio tomorrow. Finances. Yeah. Yeah. Which is... Which I don't have that with anyone. No, it's a breadth, isn't it?

It's really interesting. Because I feel like maybe you bring practical... like sort of like an intense practicality because that's weird but like that sounds like a weird thing to bring no but it's like I feel like when you come when you enter the chat like our chat with fay when you enter the chat shit's going to get done like because you treat it like you're on a to do list like you can't have an open tab no I can't have an open tab so things will be dealt with with you I get stressed if things are an open will then make me feel like that was intense even though nothing about it was intense right you know what I mean yeah yeah okay because everything

I get you. No, I do get that. This is the, that's the interesting thing of, whereas I understand with my self-awareness that my intensity will come from me not being able to have any professionalism. So when I arrive in the chat, I will bring every feeling that I've got with me and tell you a million things before I answer a question or I'll just avoid the question if I can't give you an answer to it, which is, I imagine, very annoying. I don't, I'm trying to work out like where the, I don't know, I feel like we need to go to

therapy. I do too. But I will not let you leave the sofa until you've got to your definition of what you meant. By intense. Yes, I'm interested in. No, but I'm not describing you as intense. No, I know in our friendship. I'm interested in it.

Well, I think it's that. I think it's just that we have to be. We are involved in so many different levels. And then because of that, I feel like I'm closer to you than a lot of my other friends. Yeah. Yeah, if you do something that I don't know about. Like, if something happens, I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah.

Like, if I see you and find my friend somewhere, you put something on Instagram, if you put something on Instagram, you're out for dinner, I'm like, you're, what? Well, I think you put up a video on stories the other day. I knew you were somewhere, and then your video said you were at home. And I was allowed to text and be like, but aren't you at the? And then I was like, calm down. Like, you don't need to know her everywhere about.

I know exactly what you're talking about when I put the time lapse of myself working and I wasn't. I was like, wait. And then I was like, it's just like a delay, yeah. And also I don't need to know where she is at every second of every day. But that's so funny because I don't like a half truth being out of this. I put that up and I thought, I'm lying to everyone because I'm not at home right now. Which I, which is not great.

I do, but I, yeah. Yeah, we do. I do. Yeah, of course, of course, because you have, sometimes you're like filming something and you run off somewhere. Yeah, yeah, with your kids and stuff. And you have to edit it and then like put it out. Yeah. But that's so funny.

When I see you've been out for dinner, like if the whole thing's happened and then you put it on stories the next day, like last night, me and Jen went out for dinner, I'm like, oh my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, I went out for dinner. I'm like, oh, she's got a sister, this is fine. And then I'm like, well, why didn't she tell me? And then I'm like, how was it? And then I'm like, wait, just chill. Well, when Catherine, because Catherine came to your house for a play date. Your sister, Catherine, yeah. Yeah. And she was like, oh, and her other friend was so nice. And I was like, what of the friend? I know. I thought. And she said her name and I was like, I've never heard of this friend. I thought that would happen. Yeah. I was really scared. I was like, oh my God, I'm introducing. I've made a new friend guys, lovely new friend. I've actually talked about her. I hate that for you. She's so nice. And I'm obsessed with her. And we've made like, we're like, we're like, we're friends friends. And then when I saw

your sister the other day and I was like, oh my God, I haven't told Al that I'm seeing Catherine. Catherine's got a daughter exactly the same age as Arlo. And she's just had another one. So it's like, no, no, I'm very happy about that. Thanks. Yeah. I'm just happy about the new friends. Like, well, I thought, I was like, this is, this isn't great. No. This isn't great. And I just thought, I hope Catherine doesn't tell her about my new friends. She has. But she did. I don't know. Sorry, but we are skipping over the biggest betrayal of all. Em and Faye walk in today. And then M's like, oh, um, like, just so you know, like me and and Faye are going for a nice bath after this. I'm really sorry. Zero invite, guys.

Okay. Look. We have a joint group. that we're talking all the time. Right. Can I talk this through? No. I just want to explain myself. My ears are closed. My heart is closed.

I'm not interested. There are three reasons. I don't care. I'm going to keep going. Okay. Because I'm intense. There are three. There are three reasons why.

Okay. One, you're going to an appointment straight after this. That's fair. Two, you weren't feeling very well yesterday. So I actually and rightfully know that a nice bath would be a disaster in your current medical state. That's also fair. That's also fair. three. No, I don't accept the third one. I know what you're going to say and I don't accept it.

You'd fucking hate it. No, I wouldn't. I am a fun person and I like, I enjoy fun things. Al, you are really fun and you're lovely and you're great to be around. This is for you. You don't want to get fun people. There are fun people who don't like ice paths. There are just fucking weirdos that do. And Faye, I know, it's one of them. And I thought, I've hurt these feelings because we live near each other. If on the way home, I was like, I'm going to an ice bath and Faye would be like, oh, you know, I'd love to get a nice bath. So I thought, I need to tell her now. And then I don't want it to be a hypothetical. so I had to tell her before so she could get her something costume. Elliot, how do you feel? Betray. Yeah, I thought so. I didn't know enough about you, Elm.

I didn't want to put you in an uncomfortable position where you're a new work environment. If someone says, do you want to go to an ice bath? You're like, I'd rather fucking kill myself. But you don't want to say no because you don't want to be that guy. So then you end up in an ice bath. Elliot, should we go to an LED salon after this? Well, this one in the saw. That's where we're going.

There's one after. Fuck off. That's why she's got a sauna hat. I thought that hat was for you to be a head cut warm in the ice bath It's for the sauna afterwards Great time Have a really good time both of you But you have to do both things

You can't just do one I'm just really happy for both of you Right I think that's enough for today Do you want to know what's really good guys We've got in 15 minutes a therapist come to talk to me now because we thought that would be a fun episode.

About our friendship. Excellent. I think I'm going to be doing it alone. I've got ammo now anyway. I am really sorry. I genuinely thought you fucking hate it. I'm really happy for you both and I hope you make great friends

while you're there and I hope you spend lots of time together. I hope you go for lunch after. I hope it's a really nice day. I'm really happy. Do you want to come for lunch after? No, thanks. Do you want to come?

I bought the first wearing costumes that you could. You bought what? A spare swimming costume so you could. Did you? I foresaw all this happening. Okay, well, I do have an appointment so I can't come. But that's not the point.

I didn't think so. Okay, well, this has been an awful lot. This has been so much. Another day. Intense. Intense. It's been a fail at being mysterious. What are we going to get out of you next week?

I'm so excited. I don't know, but I'm going to go to bed and think about six or seven hours straight. I'm going to think about what the trauma I can dig into. The next week's just us. No. I'm joking. We're going to you next week. Okay.

We're going to talk about your perfectionism. Oh, fuck. Okay. Guys, this was a lot. We'll see you on Monday. Love you. Bye. Should I delete that as part of the ACAST creator network?