Should I Delete That? - Just Us: The stag do dildo, deadly animals and why we should be honest about motherhood…

Episode Date: August 27, 2025

OUR LIVE SHOW IN EDINBURGH IS NEXT WEEK. JOIN US ON 3RD SEPTEMBER! Head to SIDTLive.com for more information and to purchase tickets.In today’s episode - we weigh up the fact that the way that we speak about giving birth and motherhood *may* influence your guys’ decisions to have babies… and why it’s so important to be honest about the aspects of motherhood that we love, and the moments that are harder. We also reminisce about an incident on Boy Alex’s stag do, Al’s had her life ruined by some new pans and we find out which animals we should be most afraid of… If you'd like to get in touch (or if you think Em's sport's day idea is the best thing ever) email us on [e-mail] us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Dex RoyVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Sarah EnglishMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, should I delete that listeners? We are just days away now from our live show in Edinburgh and we are so excited to see you guys there. So in light of the conversations that we've been having recently about body image, both online and on the podcast, we wanted to bring this conversation to you live. We're going to have an interactive and intimate chat and we would love to explore this topic with you. We know we're not the only ones feeling the weight of this huge societal shift at the moment and we feel like this is a really timely opportunity to get together and to have a conversation that we hope will be really, really meaningful. And there are still tickets available. If you want to join us on the 3rd of September in

Edinburgh, you can find links to tickets either in the show notes or you can go to sidt live.com. As ever, we want to thank our partner Simprove for sponsoring this show. Reminded that you can get 50% off the first 12 weeks at the rolling subscription by using the code delete 50. Al, I'm not sharing mine with you. You need to pack your own Simproof this trip. Come on. Hello, welcome back to Should I Delete That? I'm Em Clarkson. I'm Alex Light.

Are you all right? I just noticed I've got a stain on my white vest top, but that's really annoying. It's tiny. I need to up my game. Sorry, this is such a boring way to start, but I need to up my stain game. Your stain game?

Because I just don't know how to get stains out. I thought you meant you wanted more stains. I was like, I can help tomato sauce. I am covered in stains constantly. Watermelon. I don't know how to get them out. It's like grease stains. I know that there's techniques and methods for that, grease stains.

How, what do you mean grease stains? Why are you coming into? Do you not get grease stains on your clothes? From what? I don't even really, I don't really know. But you know, like, jumpers, you'll get like, they're like the transparent stains on them. They just make the jumpers darker.

It's like a grease stain. No. Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Like, if you spill, like, Oliver, on top. Oh, fine. Yeah.

It's happened that often. I don't know. My clothes are covered. I don't know why. Okay. Maybe I'm greasy. I will withhold comment. Thank you.

How are you? Fine. Saw tummy. I've hurt the tummy. I've heard the C-section scar. Go on. I actually just could really, I'm actually, I'm actually really upset, but I'm fine. I just, I think I've been, well, I went for a run.

I went for a seven-mile trail run. Absolutely loved it. Like, I've had so much fun. I've been staying in the countryside and I've been doing my trail running, which I love so much. But I've basically hurt my C-section scar. And I think I spoke to physio and then I had to go to a doctor and they were like, I think you might have torn something in there. So then they didn't suddenly need a scan.

But I'm kind of hoping that I don't need a scan and it'll just get better. But now I have to rest, which I don't want to do. So I'm just very sad because I had so much fun. I went on this trail run and it was amazing. And they were like herding. I was like a sheep dog. Like there were like sheeps everywhere and I was like accidentally chasing them. And then there were like horses and a stream and it was just so beautiful and I had so much fun and all these endorphins and I had like the best day.

I was like, oh my God, I love running so much. And then I've hurt my tummy so I can't run. Yeah, it's the rest part for me that rings alarm bells for me, for me. For me for you. Be concerned. Yeah, yeah, for me. We know you don't like to rest. I do not know. So I am quite sad and uncomfortable.

And also just really hurts. And it's annoying. That's strange. I know. It will mend. Of course it will. Yeah, it will. You know, like, I think you forget with the C-section that it's like, it's kind

of like major surgery and stuff. And also. It really is. Yeah. And I've been like totally ignoring some alarm bells, if I'm honest. Like, I have felt my pelvic floor act like on my scar. I felt that region hurting in the reverged slunge position for a little while. Right.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that will be the warning signs of the body. It is major surgery. My sister just gave birth a couple days ago, last week, to a little boy. And she had a C-section, and her husband said, do you want to watch the video of him being born? And I was like, yeah, because I've got, not a video, but a live photo of Tommy being born,

but it was like from the nurse took it from our angle. Yeah. And it's really cool. They like bring him up. up and they're like, he's a boy, it's a boy. And so I was like, yeah, I want to watch it. It was taken from the like bird's eye view of the nephew, my nephew, actually coming out. And I saw it all, and I've managed to avoid it all this time. And I've managed to not think, I don't, I don't want to know what happens. Like the curtain's up. I'm unaware. Dave's unaware.

We don't need to know. He's out. I get stitched up. I'm none the wiser. And I accidentally just saw it. You are now some the wiser. Saw it. And it's. A lot. It's kind of barbaric. I've seen it on myself. Did you watch it? Yeah. What do you mean? Alex filmed Arla being born on a camera. On a VCR thing.

Oh God, this just goes through me so bad. Because it literally went through. Yeah, well, they went through all those layers. Major surgery. Yeah, yeah. And like the gash, what do I call it? The wound. It's not small.

It's really big. Because, of course, you're dragging a human out of it. Yeah, yeah. Dragging. Oh, God. this is all making me feel funny. You are doing horrible things to all our pregnant listeners and I think you should stop. Oh shit.

I'm so sorry. It's fine, guys. Birth is fine. It's beautiful. It's a miracle. No, but what I will say is that like it doesn't, you can't feel it. Yeah, yeah. And you walk it off.

You know, you know, you just fine. You'll be fine. You'll be fine. No, it's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine. Yeah. Positive experience. I honestly feel like I'm like, like, sponsored by birth sometimes because I catch myself.

If anyone ever asks, unless it's a man asking how bad it is, in which case I'm like, It was horrendous. I'm the bravest person in the house. But generally with its other women, I'm like, easiest thing in the world, you're going to breathe it. Like a pregnant woman asks me. I'm like, oh my God, it's amazing. Birth is, the coolest is so beautiful. You wait, the tiny pinch, you'll be fine because that's a kindness.

I do exactly the same. I literally, I'm like, I didn't feel a fucking thing. Like, I felt more from a paper cuts. I actually had a really good conversation. I know a really interesting conversation with someone about, She's on the fence about whether she wants kids or not. She's around my age. So it's kind of getting to like a, you know,

point where she really needs to think about it. Shit or get off the pot. Exactly. To put it nicely. Sorry. Horrible. To put it very bluntly. Sorry.

Sorry. You need to shit or get off the pot. No, you don't. Take your time. Do what you want. Make it as slow as you like. You're your bum. We have good science nowadays.

We can prolong things. Honestly, do whatever you want to do. Sorry, I didn't mean that. And she was asking me for like an honest, like, review of having a baby. Uh-huh. And I was like, this is like, a really difficult conversation to have. I don't want to sway you either way. That's why she's asking you there. I want to be honest with you. Mm-hmm. But I want to hear what you said. What did you say?

What did you say? Say it exactly how you said it to her. Right. I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I was scared to sway her either way. So I said that having, obviously not had children and having had children, I believe that you can live a truly fulfilled life either way. Okay. I don't think you need children to fulfill your life or your purpose. I think that can come from other things. I feel strongly about that. The second thing is, like, he, I said that if it's a hundred times hard, it's like a thousand times better. Yes. And wouldn't she decide? She left just as confused. I do think I, I said that it's like massively enriched my life and that the bad things that I was so worried about before I had him,

I was really caught up on things. Looking back, they were stupid things, but the time they weren't they were very valid but like it's looking like it was stupid things that I was like caught up on and those things just don't they're completely irrelevant to me now because here's so much more than that so it's difficult but at the same time because she was like but I love to travel and I was like well then that is a consideration I was like you can travel with kids of course you can like people do it way better than I do it because I am it's not good at it but it's also it's not the same as before it can't be the same as before no but then also it's kind of fine like I mean, I'm a used to travel.

Traveling's a huge part of your life, and that's obviously a consideration. Yeah. You can still do it. It's just, it's harder. Of course it's logistically. It's everything. It's more demanding in every way.

But it's still possible. Yeah. I'm taking a kids to Costa Rica in a few months. Are you? Yeah. Went to Japan with Arlo as a baby. I know. I feel quite strongly that I want to travel.

Like, I want to, I don't know. But then I'm not the person to do this with because if when people ask me, I'm like, don't ask me because I'm going to tell you only good things. I'm not going to date you any bad things about motherhood, which is probably really annoying when people do that. Yeah, no, yeah, definitely. But I give them a heads up. So I'm there, we don't have to do this if you know what.

You don't have to hear all of this. Definitely. We hear enough bad things about being mum and my parenthood. Also, like, you totally can't go backwards. So like, I'm like, okay, this is hard, but like, whatever. But then, yeah, no, I mean, I always have to give people heads up. But I do find myself quite a helpful friend for like anyone in a bad bit because I'm like, what do you need to hear?

Because I can give it to you. Like, do you know what I mean? On that vibe? yeah definitely yeah yeah but I'm also I do I feel like I should be getting paid by a board somewhere like a parent like a for like for promo I just feel like it's so important to know that because I feel like we just hear so much about like kids of your purpose in life like kids give you your purpose they're like they fulfill you in ways that nothing else ever can and I do feel really strongly against that I didn't hear a lot of that I only have heard bad things no

god but but I did have kids younger so I didn't have time for for people to come up and be annoying and say those things to me. I just mostly heard, like, oh, he's going to ruin your life. You're never going to sleep again. Your body's going to be trash bags. Everything's going to hurt. You're going to hate kids' paths. Like, I still get sick of that.

Everyone's like, oh, you're going to, like, oh, I've had to go to a kids party this weekend, and blah, blah, blah, and all this. And I just feel like everything's really negative. I love going to kids parties. Bouncycastles, snacks, orange squash, pizza, pizza, cake in a bag when you get to go. Like, you get to eat the cake on your own terms at home. Like, I love kids part. And your kid gets to be happy and you don't have to,

be the, I, and as a plan, I don't know. See, I heard both, which was really annoying because it's like, okay, so you're telling me how horrible it is, but you're also telling me that I, I will have no life without it. I will have no meaningful kind of life without it. So it's, yeah, exactly. It's like you're miserable either way, like, but you have to be miserable with kids. Yeah, I only heard the miserable stuff. And I still only hear it, like online.

And I know what people do it because it makes people feel better. But also I'm just like, do, like, it's just annoying. it's helpful for people that are in it at the moment like in it at the very moment it's helpful solidarity you want solidarity you want to know that you're not alone you want some comfort and support but the moment but if you're before it if it's not happened to you yet it's the last thing you need to hear but also I actually disagree

because I do think motherhood is really different for different people some people hate going to kids birthday parties some people love going to I was talking to Lottie Drainan this morning and we're obviously at really similar points we've both got two girls and we've had them at this kind of similar times Our age gaps are quite similar. We both had tough pregnancies and C-Sect. Anyway, just similar vibes.

But I talked to her this morning and I was like, I can tell you that for me, the bit that I'm at was Anthony where she's seven months old, I find this bit so, I've said this to you before, I find this bit really hard because she's so close to moving. And when she's off, was going to open up for both of us. It's going to be huge. But I find it a very stimulating age because she needs constant interaction, but she can't move.

So we're both just like cross. And I find that difficult. I find a newborn stage super easy. I find Arlo's age super easy, she's two and a half. Vibes, everywhere vibes. This specific age, I was the same with Arla, between like seven and nine months. I'm like, oh my God, this is hard.

Still love it, but I find it hard. But then I'm saying that to Lotteson, there is literally no point in me saying that this bit's hard. Because where she's at is hard. But some people hate the newborn bit, love the, that's what I mean when you're in. So if I'm in newborn stage and I can talk to someone else who's struggling in newborn stage, that is invaluable.

But also, I might be really, because I love newborn stage. So we'd have been in a knot, you wouldn't have wanted to talk to me in newborn stage. But that's what I mean, you need someone who's also having a bad time. Yes, that's, if you're in the same stage with someone

who is also having a bad time, there is, that is magic. There's nothing like you can be like, deep breath. But what I think is hard is we treat mothers because we're so binary. Societyly, we're like,

well, that's the experience of having a seven-year-old and it's miserable and it's like, because one person's like, I hate this and blah, blah, blah. So I approach the age being like, when people sit and I fight anyone that says, oh, I'm having terrible twos.

I'm like, stop using that word. Like, it's so, I find it, I hate it. I get really cross with people. It's like, turbulent. Use whatever you want, but like, it's, there's nothing terrible about her. But it's interesting because I think before I had kids, I'd look at one person moaning about or struggling with or complaining about or being honest about how if you want to frame it, one thing.

And I'd be like, well, that's the experience of a two-year-old. And it's like, no, that person's feeling a thousand things within that moment. But also, that person might hate having a two-year-old, but love having a four-year-old. Oh my God, totally. We don't give a lot of thought to that. I hated the newborn stage. I absolutely hated it. But for different, like, different reasons.

Like, I was, I was out of a, I was completely out of a routine. And that, I can't, I cannot bear that. You know, it's so different. So different. And now he's like one and a half just over. Everyone was like, oh, just wait until he starts walking. Like, that's when it gets really hard. It's a hoot.

I love, I mean, it's exhausting. Like, we went to a wedding and I wasn't able to hold a conversation with anyone for more than two seconds. That was a bit hard. That was a bit painful. That's a blessing for me. A lot of people felt sorry for me. They were like, oh, she's off again.

She's like pegging it across the field again. It's difficult, but I absolutely love it. I don't find this, like, I don't find it mentally challenging. Physically, yeah, a little bit. No, no, it's not physically challenging, but like you'll never sit down, do you? No, no. And also he can open all the doors in our house, which has also presented some challenges. That was a dark day when he learned how to do that.

But, yeah, everyone experiences it all. completely differently. I don't even know how we got here. I don't even know how we got here. Do we need to completely turn this around? Tell you a story about a dildo? Yeah. What do you want from us for?

I was going to tell you how he got there, but it's not adding anything to the conversation. Where would you like us to go? As a producer, would you like us to carry on this path? Or take a gear change? Let's have a break and then do the dildo. Okay, okay.

this is apropos of absolutely nothing okay we were just talking well fay and i were talking in decks before you got here about stagdos hendos yeah etiquette yeah i've actually decided i feel quite passionately about what we should legally be allowed to do when it comes to destination weddings hendos etc and the cost cap i'll get into it another time okay for now it just reminded me of alex's stagdo um and they had this big i think i've told this story before where they had this um They had like a willie that had like, it was like a big willy and it had like a suction thing, like a thing that like stuck it to a wall. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, so great.

So fun thing. On the way out, they were flying to Dublin, which is where Alex was from. So on the way out to the stag, they were at the airport and Ross, his best man put the wheelie in the back in his hand luggage without him knowing and then put a bottle of water in so that when it went to security, obviously it was going to get checked. And then they were like, oh, so good. So good. So simple. So fun. this thing became their like accessory of the trip

and as it turns out yes it stuck to walls but it also stuck to bald men's heads so like the whole weekend they were like sticking this thing luckily the Irish are a lot more friendly than us and they didn't get them in too much trouble but they were doing this a lot anyway and then my brother said it was all like

they will have a great time when he left when my brother left it was in his hotel room and he said it occurred to him only after he'd left when he'd got home from the night out he'd just like sort of thrown it at the wall and it had stuck to the wardrobe but like at kind of waist height and he said after he left

it only occurred to him that he left it and some poor cleaner will have gone into that room being like, what? I bet they were like for what was he doing? Fuck's sake. Was he like reversing into the wall? So bad. That poor cleaner.

I know. Oh my God. Just like what now? Oh my God. Honestly if I could if I could the amount, I spoke to my old neighbor about this and he was having his stag do and he just said, all I want is a hendu.

He's like, they're so much nicer. It's all I want. They are so much nicer. So much nicer. Sagdews are all about like making the person as drunk and ugly

and miserable as possible. I know someone who was on a stag do and ended up, I say stabbing. Stabbing feels a lot but like he did stab his bum with a knife.

His own bum? No, I hit the stag's bum with a knife and he had to go to hospital. So he stabbed his friend in the bum? Yeah,

it wasn't like, a stab, you know, like a stabbing. It kind of was. He did stab him. What's happening here? You're like, he stabbed him, but it wasn't a stabbing, but he did stab him. He did stab him. So it was a stabbing. Yeah, so it was a stabbing. So he did stab him.

Just to get the record straight, the man was stabbed. I think it was an accidental stabbing, but a stabbing nonetheless. Stop saying stabbing. It's such an aggressive word. Sorry, sorry. A prodding with a knife. Too stabbed. On purpose. Why? How did that come to be? I think they were just really pissed. playing with knives as you do. Staddos, man.

I know. Stupid. Stupid. They just lose all inhibitions and all common sense. Yeah, I don't, I actually don't think that it's so great that knives are as accessible as what they are. Like, I understand that we need them for meal prep,

but I feel like we probably ought to have something else. Like, why don't we use more pizza rollers? Like, I feel like if we could use, like the amount of things now that you can put an onion in and go, and it chops it all out. Yeah, I've got one of those. I'm like, I feel like that's the way the future is going. And I feel like that's a good thing.

and I feel like a pizza roller or like one of this. But I just feel like a collection of knives in a block in a kitchen. Yeah. I just feel like it's an accident waiting to happen. I mean, I feel like we don't have that. I know, actually, that's not true. We do have a lot of problems with knives. Famously, loads of problems with knives.

I feel like you could create problems with pizza cutters as well. Fewer. Like, let's be honest, okay, right, you're being mugged. And someone gets out a knife. You're like, oh, my God, take what you want. someone gets out of a pizza cutter, I'm like, I fancy my chance to see it. Yeah, you're right. It's probably a little bit more, like, repetition kind of involved with the pizza cutter

to really get into you. I just feel like we can't be trusted with anything. Do you know what I mean? Speaking of kitchen prep. Oh, good. I had a bad for you. Oh, good. It's not that exciting.

Don't be excited. It's just ruining my life. Dave has bought a set. A new set of pots and pans. How dare he? What an asshole. Oh my God. They're stained the steel.

He's got this like, they are like so precious to him. These like pots and pans and they are impossible to use. Talk to me. Where are they from? They are impossible. I don't know where they're from. They look like stained the steel pans. Are they silver?

Silver. And they have a special way of being heated up. They need to be heated first on, first for two minutes on one setting. Then you turn it up for a next two minutes. and then to decide whether it's ready or not you have to pour cold water into the pan and like if it moves in its own special way the water then you know it's ready and if it doesn't you have to carry on and then you have you heat everything up and then when you wash them you have to wash them with like first with fairy liquor soap you know soap and then secondly

with bicarbonne of which one he's got a pot-way thing I'm gonna say something and it's just so fucking annoying and he's just he's confiscated all the other pots and pans He's got this thing about microplastics now. Fair, whatever. I get it. Whatever. I don't know. Why are your other pans plastic?

You know what? I digress. I have a question. You know when like you ask someone to do a task and they don't want to do the task and they do the task very badly so that you don't ask them to do the task again? Is there a possibility that Dave is hugely overcomplicated this so that you don't want to use his pots and pans so that you don't use them so that you only use your other ones so that he is. the only one that's left to use the special pots and pans. I would have considered that,

but he's confiscated all the other pots and pans. What do we confiscated? Because he thinks they're bad for us. What were they made of? Well, they've got, like, there's this whole thing, isn't there? It's like normal pans have got, like, a coating. I think it's a plastic coating. It's like the non-stick on the pans.

That's it. Okay. So it's like, apparently, like, the micropastic are going into food. And then, so the way that you make stains, the steel pots non-stick is you have this special way of warming them up and putting water in them. Oh, it's just so annoying. I just want to scramble an egg in a morning and I can't. I can't. I didn't know you knew how to scramble an egg. Oh, please. I'm serious. Oh, please. I'm serious. That's one of the most offensive things you've ever said to me.

Alex, you asked me out to do a broad bean. No, I asked, no, I just, I asked for specific timings. I can scramble an egg. Cool. But you're not now because you've not got other tools. I just, I needed that run. Oh, that feels so much better. Is it good and outside your system? Yeah, I'm just going to sneak a pan in, I think, a normal, a normal pan.

I need to see these patterns. I fear microplastics of the future. As in my future. More of them or less of them. More of them. I just, but then I was talking last night about the cigarettes. So I'm like, well, at least they've gone. So, you know, maybe plastics there.

I don't think we can get rid of microplastics, though. I don't think it's possible. I definitely know what microplastics. We ingest too much of them, I think. They're everywhere. I eat stuff off from the bin. Yeah, well, I mean, nearly. Like, honestly, my dinner is, like, that's something on two kids I didn't count on.

You don't have time to just, like, sit and eat. And, like, the last thing I'm going to do is just, like, cook my own food. So I just, like, I just eat what the kids are eating. But, like, tragically, like, off their plate, like, the saddest little shit excuse for food that you would never, unseasoned, under normal circumstances, I would sooner cry. But as it is, I'm like, oh, delicious. I'll eat all of this. Yeah.

Oh, it's disgusting. Some of the stuff I eat, like, yesterday I say like smushy broccoli. I was like, this is disgusting. Why are you eating it? Food is fuel. I don't know. I'd instead have time. And then I was like, oh, I've got to get straight to bed time.

And then it's just hectic. So I was like, I know. I know. I know. I can't eat a kiss food. I see it as stuff. I see it as kind of like dog food. Like, I see it as like it's not, it's not suitable.

It's not suitable for an hour. adult. No. I'm different. No, yeah. I've ever eaten dog food? Um, I did as a dairy uni. It's horrible, yeah. Is it, like a kibble or like wet food? I'll say that it wasn't that horrible. No? No, it didn't taste too bad. Was it kibble or wet food? It used it quite nice. It was wet food. Do you know what it tasted like? It tasted like corn beef. That is disgusting. It's feral. I know. I was feral.

Yeah. It was horrible. Oh my goodness me. What kind of, you don't even want to know because they're just doing like hoofs. Like that's all dog food is. Oh, don't.

And like brains and spleens in that. Don't. It's like 18 years ago. So it'll be out of my system by now, surely. Well, that's what you think. Surely. How long is a hoofs day in the system? Oh, stop it.

I had this like the other day I was thinking about, I've been thinking about animals and like animal sizes. And like not that I would fight an animal like this to the death, but if we're thinking wrestling, like how many sheep. do you think it would take to, like, overpower me? Three. Do you think it would be the same for yourself?

I think I could take for all. You're so toxic. But you still think that I would win. No, you thought that I would win in a fight. It's the thing I could beat you, but not sheep. Say, who would you put your money on between me and Al? I'm sorry, Al, but it's M. That's fair.

How many sheep do you think would be, take to beat me versus beat out? Al. We can throw fists. I think Al's right with three. Do you think she could do four? No, I think, I don't think you could do one. I don't think I could because I wouldn't want to hurt her. I think one-on-one you'd be done for. I think you'd just say, you.

Because, I mean, how do you hurt a sheep? I ask, because my brother genuinely believes in a one-on-one fight, he could take a hyena. He'd be definitely couldn't. Obviously, he couldn't. about it every day. Did he watch the Lion King? I have no idea, but the audacity of a 29-year-old man

to think genuinely, like, the world has not been cruel enough to him yet that he genuinely believes that that's what he's capable of. A hyena with his bare hands. Hyena's are ruthless. Of course they are. They're ruthless, they're savage, they're literally savage. I don't think he could take on a Labrador if a Labrador meant business. Do you know what I mean?

No, no, no, no, because they've got huge teeth, massive hind legs, jaws. I don't back myself with the Labrador. No, I wouldn't. Oh, I'm not sure you could do one sheep and they've just got... Oh, they're so cute on it. You know sheep's a really stupid. I didn't know this. Stupid. Stupid. Yeah. Apparently they swim or by going bodies of water but then their coats get really heavy and then they just sink. Well, that's not being stupid. That's just like physics. They're stupid. Because they went in the water in the first place. Well, yeah. Oh right. Okay, fine. If you can't swim, don't go in water. That would be my lesson to the... Yeah, I'm going to I don't know. But how do sheep kill you? Like, what do they do? I don't think it's ever

happened on record. Do they just kind of like bump into you? But it's not killing them. It's just how much would it take to like get you down? Like wrestling rules, three seconds. One, two, no, ten seconds, however long it is before you can get back up again. I think, for them to overpower you. We're quite trustworthy with cows, aren't we? I am terrified of cows. Cows just roam. Cows? Terrifying. We couldn't take on one cow shortly. They're really big. No, they are ginorm. And like, yeah, no, I, I, so, you know, so land, sorry, fun facts, part cows. No, not fun facts, bad facts. Cows, kill seven people a year in the UK.

Do they really? They're the most dangerous land mammal. Well, yeah. That's me done. Yeah. It's me and cows. Yeah. I'm out.

No. Fucking hell, seven a year. Yeah, yeah. Dogs are the biggest killer of humans in, no, no, no, that's true. Probably more than other humans. I think they're the biggest animal killer of humans in the world. Mosquitoes. Yes.

Is that an animal? Insects. Insects are animals. I saved a bee! Guys, I saved a bee! And I'm allergic to bees, so I really took my life in my hands to do it, and I felt like a true hero. Yes, it was great.

No, thank you. I didn't even have my EpiPen, and I had a chat with her, and I was like, I'm going to do this, but we've got to be cool. Do you know what I mean? Put that thing away. I'm going to give you what you need. But if you sting me, I'll die, and then I, you know, then she'll die. Well, famously, quite.

When they sting, they die. They're murder, suicide. Yeah. Yeah. I've got a double. Shakespearean. Anyway, no one died. Would you like to know the top of, please.

Humans killed per year by different creatures. Yes. Number one is mosquitoes. Yes. Number two is human beings. Sorry. Why is that so funny to you? Hey, you monster.

I thought those pizza cutters. Number three is snakes. In the UK. No, this is in the world. Sorry, sorry, sorry. And then number four is dogs. Where are cows? They're not on this list.

Stupid list. What's number five? I won't carry on, but I just want to know what number five is. There's something wrong with that guys. Rabbits. Fresh water, snails. Shut up. Stop it.

Shut up. I didn't mean it when I said your list was stupid. but now I think I do. Wow. How? Yeah, like tropical disease and parasites. I would not want a parasite. Oh, really?

At all. Or a tapeworm. I can think about it loads. Yeah, okay. I'd be really upset if I had a tapeworm. What an unusual position for you to have. What that I really don't want one? You think I don't want a parasite.

I don't want a tapeworm. No, I feel really strongly that I don't want a tapeworm. Okay. Can you imagine? No. All of our dogs had one once and mum had to like, oh no that's horrible listeners

I just did like I didn't even know how you described that like think of like tug of war but you just keep going I used to I tell you I've had an idea

I've had quite a good idea sorry I'm really changing the gears again so I was thinking okay so it's quite hard to make friends well no it's not hard to make friends as a parent but like I do feel like I'm at a weird time in my life kind of going back to where we were at the beginning

where like some of your friends have kids some of your friends don't have kids right but like you kind of want to make more friends with kids particularly your age like just for stuff to do when I've got like both the girls by myself and I'm like I kind of wish I just had more people around me to just do things with because parenting's always easier in that

anyway so I was thinking what I wanted to do was create a sport now Alex has taken this and run with it because I had quite a gentle idea and he's made it quite competitive as is the way no hyenas but we were thinking if you did a sports day right so you come and you bring everyone I'd invite like my friends and everyone my parent friends, I guess,

but then you could come if you were to parent, just you'd probably hate it, but then everyone brings one of their parent friends. So it's like, you kind of bring lots of people together. Right. So you end up in this environment. And then it's like, well, what would you do? Because that would be awkward

because it's like kind of speed dating or whatever. It's a hectic. No good. So I want to do sports day, but only we're parenting things. Because dads are so good. Alex keeps doing this as mate. He's like, oh, how fast can you fall down your buggy?

Like how quick can you get everyone in his car? So you can make it like an endurance sport like that. So it's like, okay, you've got to like get your kids, like you've got two kids in the back of a car. You've got to get a double boggy down. Both kids strapped in with snacks, sun cream on, sun hats, bagpack, nappy. You know what I feel anxious thinking about this? Nappy changing. Oh, it did be for the dads.

Okay, fine. Yeah, yeah, I guess they would, they might in. Yeah, that is quite fun. Keeps the kids busy. That's quite fun. That's quite fun. Keeps the dad's busy and we get a chance to make friends. That's nice.

I know, so I thought that would be a nice thing. You know, they're all groups you can go too. Yeah, no, I know. I know. It's probably easier way for you to make friends than to like set up this entire. Yeah, it does seem big. My idea started would just bring a friend, like if everybody, because everyone kind of has made like a good mum friend at a ballet class or a, I don't know, like a play ball or

like a, you know, like everybody's kind of, you meet new people. Yeah. But it's kind of hard for your people to meet new people. Yeah. So if everybody brings one of their new people to their old people, then we all meet new people. Yeah, that's really nice. That was how it started and then Alex kind of took it around with it and now I've got a sports day on my hands and I don't know so I was genuinely looking into gazebos and getting licenses for

using London parks. Oh my God. I want to come. You're like that's what I figured would happen. But then I thought yeah, I've got no one friends. Okay, who would win in a fight between Dave and Alex? I'm going to say Dave. Just do you think? Because of the physical difference, I think. I don't know. Alex has been taking career team guys. He's really balked up recently. Yeah, okay, maybe not. Dave has just been painting, so painting and like putting. If they can bring weapons. He's bringing his, his pans. I want to see them. And look, look, what, find it out. We're not going to get into it now. No, I want to see the pans. We're not going to get into it now, but we haven't talked about your forks. And you started this nonsense about the

mugs. I blew my DMs up. I regretted it. Almost indiscally. Your tasting cutler in crockery is so bad. Just quickly. Why, why crockley? What's wrong by crockery? I don't care for the mugs that you've chosen. Okay. Why do you want them so thin? I can't tell you why. I can't tell you, it just feels better in my mouth. I want an Emma Bridgewater mug. Thank you, Faye. My God.

No. What do you mean? No. They're too thick. It's too robust. They are ceramic master. I want it to feel like it might break in my mouth. Why earth would you want that threat?

Yes. Yes. Like, yeah, no. If I could have like, like, you know, like tempered glass, you know? No. It's like barely standing, like that. Like that is what I want my tea in. Why?

I don't know if it's temper glass. Please forget that, actually. Like a paper cup? Yeah. You would want to, like a... Yeah. That's why I prefer... It's why I prefer, like, bad, you know, like paper cups.

Bad for the environment. Very bad, but... Dave needs to have a chat with you. If the microplastic, the pans have had to go, but every time you drink a cup of tea. I know, and every time he sees me, he's like, what you're doing? I'm like, well, I'm so sorry. Ingesting microplastics, what are you doing?

How many fumes has he ingested painting and building that house? That's why I want to know. A lot. A lot. Get off your high horse, Dave. A lot. Okay. To be continued on that mug thing.

I'm going to bring in. Oh my God, should we do a mug off? Yeah. And I'm bringing in the right fork as well. Oh my God. Everyone here. So Dex Faye us. We bring in our favourite mugs and we're going to rate them.

I'm not going to bring in my favourite mug because I'd be scared to break it. That would be horrible. It's a long way across London. I will bring a mug in the style of my favourite mug. Okay, you can do that. That's fine. That's fine. I just heard a child go crying.

I know. I know. I'm like, makes you panic. Like, my boobs come with milk. I'm like, this is insane. This has got to stop. Okay, this has been fun. I didn't even know what this has been.

I'm sorry for the first segment at the beginning. I hope we haven't swayed anyone to have children or not. Oh, don't say that. I'm not going to sleep now. I'm going to panic. I'm sorry if I sway you either way. I didn't mean to. Fade, as someone who was not kids, did I swear you either way?

Um, I feel quite pro baby today. Okay, okay. Talk to me next week. I'll probably be out of time. Okay, but we didn't sway you either way. No. Okay, that's fine. You know you are also an influencer, it is literally your job.

You will throw me into an existential spin, and I can't handle that right now. Please, I do enough of that in my spare time. I can't do this on the job as well. Okay, dokey, guys, we will see you. Monday. Bye. Should I delete that as part of the ACAST creator network?