Should I Delete That? - Just Us: Wedding regrets, vanity and social media validation

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

Hello! On this week’s Just Us - we’re continuing a discussion we’ve been having over the last couple of weeks - wedding weight loss. We hear from two of our listeners who wanted to give their perspective on the conversation - we discuss wedding regrets, why it’s okay to not feel positive all the time and our relationship with ‘vanity’. If you’d like to join in the conversation - you can email us on [e-mail] - we love you guys! We’re heading to Edinburgh for our biggest live show ever. We’ll be taking over the iconic Usher Hall for one night only on 3rd September. Head to SIDTLive.com for more information and to purchase tickets.Follow us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Dex RoyVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Sarah EnglishMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are delighted to announce our biggest live show ever. For one night only, we are taking over the iconic Edinburgh Usher Hall on the 3rd of September to bring you an unforgettable night of completely unfiltered chat, big laughs, hopefully. And meaningful connection and conversation. Our favourite part of the live shows is always that you get to meet each other and we are so proud of the community that we've fostered here. And this night isn't just about coming to see us. It is about meeting each other and forging new friendships.

Whether you're in Scotland already or you fancy a trip to beautiful Edinburgh, this is our biggest live show ever and we would love to see you there. Check the link in the show notes or in our bios to buy tickets and secure your place in the pre-show meetup, meaning you can come alone and meet other like-minded should I delete that fans. Brought to you by Simprove, the UK's number one gut supplement. Hello, and welcome to Should I Delete That. I'm in Clarkson. I'm Alex Light. Much to discuss with you this morning, Alex. Very formal. Do go. I think we ruin it. Every time we sound quite good. You know what I mean?

Like, quite like... Did I ruin it? Well, no, I think we just, we have zero chill. Like, if we say, if we nail it, we always go, nailed that. And instantly, we've unnailed it. I think it's important to recognize good work, though, you know? I think that's okay. I appreciate that. So, we... Feedback. Oh. No, no, no, fine. Oh, okay. We've...

I just braced myself, but do you go. I just died inside and threw up, but I'm fine. No, we've had some responses to conversations we've had over the last few weeks. Okay. Particularly about wedding, well, we've had quite a lot about weddings and kids. Yeah. Classic. Look at us, women, you know, keeping our minds on the headline stuff.

Good female. Yes. No, on the body image, on the body image related weight loss. Weddings and weight loss topic. We got a really interesting voice note which I'd like to play. I love a voice note. I love a voice note. It just brings a level of intimacy.

Don't make it weird because then Navi won't see it's because Navajo won't send them anymore. I'll be like oh God Alex thinks this is intimate. She's misread it. Fucking things are left right and centre here. Can we play the voice note please? Hello ladies. I was listening to last week's episode about the lady that was concerned about her sister, losing all of the weight before her wedding. So I got married this year in April. It was in Italy. It was amazing. I'd waited a very long time. Me and my partner

had been together for a long time. And a lot has changed since we first got together. When we first got together, I used to dance. I was very small body size, like a little 60 way. I was going to dance college and I was teeny tiny. Since then, we have had three pregnancies. We've now got to amazing children and I have gained a lot of weight. I had to have quite sedentary pregnancies just due to some medical situations I wasn't allowed to exercise. I was not on bed rest but you know and I gained a lot of weight in that period. I'm now like a UK size 14 going on a size 16. I have curves, I have boobs, I have a bum. I still love my body. I am perfectly happy with it. And I really like checked myself and made sure that I didn't lose weight just to look like what I used to look like or to look the best version of myself, which I know a lot of people get in that headspace for. And that's what they think to themselves before they get married. But I really, really checked myself to try not to do that. And I didn't. And I'm proud of myself for doing that. But after the wedding, I obviously, you know, took to Instagram and posting my beautiful professional photos. It's not that I was expecting loads of likes.

and wanted that reassurance because I didn't need it. But I did notice that that post was not my most popular post on my Instagram. It really bummed. It really, like, didn't do as well. And it was my wedding. And that really hurt. And honestly, one of the only things I can put it down to is the fact that I didn't lose weight because we look so happy.

It wasn't, like, braggy or there's no other reason why it wouldn't have done as well. and it really, really hurt me. I, after having years of being quite body positive, I did actually have a moment where I was in bed and I turned to my partner and I said, oh my gosh, did I look huge on the wedding day? Like, is that what is going on? And it suddenly has really hit me hard

and made me look at my body. I know exactly what that sister is saying that it will affect her so much worse if she loses all that weight and she's getting all that reassurance. and all those compliments now and then afterwards if her body changes again and she puts on a bit more weight then it'll be difficult but it's also difficult on the other side i just put it out to your viewers that maybe if you see someone that you knew from being a lot smaller tinier and then you

see their wedding pictures or their big life events and they are looking happy and they're um post happily to post their pictures but they're a bit heavier please don't consider the weight to be an issue just don't it's none of your business if they're happy and they're smiling and they're sharing family pictures give them a like because we all need to boost people up whatever size they are my first observation is that isn't it sad that we as women would make that connection i didn't get many likes it must be because of how i looked men would never make that connection and i i really feel for you and i just it's so easy to sit and say like, oh, it doesn't matter.

It's not because of that, yeah. But it does, and it matters to you, so it matters. And that's really important to cite at the beginning before we say anything else. A couple of things, I would say, on a practical level. Of people who, unfortunately, engagement on Instagram matters to us, and fuck I wish it didn't. Yeah.

But it does. I'm embarrassed that it does, but it matters, right? Like we literally make money based on our engagement. the more likes we get, the more money we make. So it's quite important for us, as well as having the social currency element. There are a billion reasons why people don't like your posts, why people don't engage with them, why some days post posts bomb, why whatever. I mean, just as an interesting thing, if you ever do a poll on Instagram, on a reel,

you'll see quite how, you'll see the difference. difference between how many people engage with your stuff versus how many people like your stuff. So if I put up a reel, like when I do like my like what shall I wear like Lorraine outfits or whatever, if I put it up, you'll probably get about 20 or 30,000 people voting in the poll where you'll get maybe 6,000 or 7,000 people liking the post, which shows me that there are 24,000 people watching it, not liking it. They're engaged, they're invested, but for whatever reason they won't click like i that i don't know why but they don't it doesn't mean they don't like it and it doesn't mean they don't like you but it's you know how that's just how

social media works and i wish we didn't like i wish we didn't and i wish you you know i understand to an extent why creators have to because it is our you know it's our it's our bread and butter but i wish all everybody could not and our feeds are saturated with content more so than ever and we are distracted more than ever there are a thousand distractions even when you go on Instagram like people sending you stuff and then you go

and I'm like oh I must comment on that post and then I get distracted and I forget but it's a post that I really wanted to comment on oh you open Instagram and then you think oh shit I've got stuff to be doing I shouldn't be doing it then it's top and then oh it's gone and you're like oh I vaguely saw that but I yeah and if you

you might tell me if you think this is too tenuous but I think that her age group, I don't know how old she is, but I think the age group is relevant as well, because I think when people are in their mid to late 20s and they're getting, and people are getting married, it's more exciting, it's novel, it's novel and it's like, oh my God, look, she's getting married and you're just, you're not used to it yet, so it's more exciting. That's true. But then when you're in your mid to late 30s and a lot of people around you have got married, it's less exciting, it's less novel. I also think in general, the more people that we follow,

the more weddings that we see, the less. You know, at the beginning of this, when like someone that we follow got, if we don't follow that many people, you know, in the olden days, we'd only really see the people, the olden days, fuck's sake. We'd only see the people that we knew get married.

So we'd freak out when they got married. But now it's like you've got every weekend. It's like 15 celebrities and this and then this girl that you don't know and this TikTok her. And then she's sharing this and people are live streaming their weddings now. And like, it's everywhere. It's everywhere. Yeah.

So it's not shiny and new anymore. And it's, I have. which does translate to less engagement. I know, it's horrible, but it is, it's, it's, it's the world in which we live now. And I think I'm going to say something that's like, that trend that's like, this is what I'd say if I wasn't scared of hurting your feelings. Go on. And I want to give this to you with the biggest hug in the whole world.

I really don't think it's because of how you look. And I'm worried that that's maybe still an insecurity that you have within yourself, that that's where your head went. I think so. But I want to say that with the, with the biggest hug in the world, because it's so inevitable that you do feel like that and you're comparing yourself and that that might still be a consideration for you.

Yeah. But I truly believe just thinking about my own life and the people that I love, that would never fucking matter at all. No, no. If I'm happy that you got married, I'm happy that you got married. I, we can't say for sure,

but I really don't think that correlation is there. We hope. Yeah. But I see how she got there, right? because a woman's appearance is social currency, why wouldn't it be social media currency? Well, I think actually on this, there was another email that I wanted to read

that this is making me think of someone who kind of didn't get or looked back at her wedding and maybe doesn't feel as positive as she might. And I think it's indicative of really where we're at that we are putting so much focus on these pictures and how our moments are being perceived. Hi M, Al, Faye, Dex

and all associated SIDT, team members, children and pets Huge fan of the pod having not previously listened to a podcast ever when you were started. I had to listen and have listened to every episode in sequential order. Wow. My personality type could not let me listen in any other way since.

Oh my God. She's you. So me. I love you. I have always wanted to email in, but I've never plucked up the courage to do so. My issue has always seemed so trivial. But after seeing you discuss being trolled by your own wedding pictures,

as I thought sod it. Who cares if you look like a vain bitch or come across like a weird super van. Literally, what's the worst that can happen? Basically, like many other couples, including you, I think, Al, we had our wedding delay due to COVID. We got legally wed during that time, but our wedding party was pushed back by 18 months. In the time in between, we actually ended up having our absolutely amazing baby girl. I mean, she's four now, but still my baby girl. She's literally the best thing that's ever happened to me, but as a result of being pregnant, I swarred like a balloon and put on a lot of weight. Having the wedding party when she was 12 weeks old, and shock horror, having not bounced back,

it meant that my body was very, very different to how it had previously been. And sleepless nights, breastfeeding, and all things that come with newborn babies were taking their toll on things like my skin. Shit, getting married at 12 weeks, postpartum is not for the faint-hearted. I applaud you.

I know we are worth so much more than how we look or what weight we are, and I know my wedding day was about celebrating our love and our friends and family and not how I looked, but I genuinely feel a sense of grief over our wedding and need you to talk some sense into me. I feel I was duped out of my dream wedding and frustrated we spent money on something that should have been the dream

had we had it when we were supposed to. My wedding dress was beautiful but I wouldn't have chosen that dress for the body I had on the day. I look back at our wedding pictures and feel sad. I struggle when I see other couples getting married at our wedding venue on Instagram as I feel like my wedding day wasn't what it was supposed to be. I was sleep to bribed bigger than I was used to being spotty,

wearing breast pads at my wedding dress and not feeling particularly carefree with a 12 week old to care for. I enjoyed the day and have some fantastic memories and an amazing husband. But it just wasn't what I thought it was going to be based on all the circumstances

and to be completely honest, a lot of it driven by how I looked. I get frustrated with myself for feeling this way because there are a lot more important things going on in the world and I'm beyond lucky to have a wonderful family and friends and the ability and freedom

to have enjoyed a wedding at all. Please snap me out of this and share your thoughts. Thanks so much, please keep me anonymous. God, I want to give you a hug and a medal and a pat on the back. A medal, literally. Twelve weeks post-bartian.

I didn't know my name. Literally. Yeah, I didn't know my ass for my elbow at that point in time. But I think she's allowed to feel grief. Oh, my, absolutely. I think she's allowed to grieve the day that she thought she was going to have and that she didn't have. One thing I'll say is, like, you know, looking at other couples that, you know, at the same venue and looking at other people that get married and looking at all these amazing photos, like, not everyone's wedding day is as amazing as it looks, right? And it doesn't, it doesn't work out exactly the way they want it to.

and they don't, you know, often they don't look the way that they had dreamed that they would look. So I would say that, like, comparison, like, notice that that's happening and remember that you're not, you know, like you always say you're filling in the blanks on someone else's story where you're looking at, like, one picture and being like, well, they have the perfect idea. Yeah, no, you're not seeing the fact that their parents maybe couldn't make it and the fight they had with their brother or they're like drunken auntie, you know, throwing fists on the dance floor, you know, like you're not seeing all the things that have gone wrong. you had your baby girl there. I know. And that was a moment, that was your moment in time. I actually want to say to her, I don't, I think that might be contributing to why she feels like a bad person for saying that it wasn't her wedding.

Because I think society does this where they go, but at least you got, people do it to be with the pregnancies all the time. Well, at least you got your baby. And you think, yeah, but actually, I'm still fucked off because it's not, it wasn't what I hoped it would be. And I don't want her to feel like a bad person for not resent, no, I'll say it, for resenting that it, that she had a baby there when she could have. because so I watch my friends with kids get married and it's it's not the same as people

without kids not the same because you have to worry about your kids yeah and you still have an incredible day and you still look whatever but you've changed and your life has changed and your priorities have changed and your wedding you're supposed to be selfish and it's all about you yeah and when you have children at any age nothing is anymore about you it's not all about you anymore yeah and it's a bitter pill to swallow yeah in general I find this, this is a massive overshare but I will be vulnerable if it helps you when I go home to my home home home home home

family home sometimes I get really upset because I have these massive waves of realization that no one's going to look after me anymore because I'm the person that have to do the looking after and it only happens to me when I go back to an environment where I was a child because it's, you know, I think it happens I think we all regress when we go home

and we associate maybe our family homes or being with our parents or that dynamic with being the child. Yeah. And I have these moments where I think, oh, God, I, I, I, my sister always says it to me. It's like, if you have the baby, you can't be the baby. And I'm like, fuck, I want to be the baby. But I have these moments where I'm like, I want to be the baby.

And I think I completely understand for her why she's, yeah, can look at this guy. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted to feel beautiful and have it all about me. And I couldn't do that because I had a baby. And babies demand that it's not. not all about me. And I don't look at how I consider to be beautiful. And I get that.

And if she takes the guilt out of that and allows her to feel it and grieve it. It's huge. Because it wasn't, it's not fair. If that's what she wanted, then it wasn't fair. And it was just not what she wanted. And I also, I don't think there's any harm in, like, getting your family and friends together for something like small.

Or go. When your daughter's five years old, go to Mauritius or go to Barbados. and buy a beautiful white dress and hire a photographer and do sunset photos on the beach with your daughter when you feel fucking stunning. Book a makeup art.

It doesn't need to be a barbed or so it can be the Lake District. It can be any way you want. Any way you want. But on a summer's evening, book a hairdresser, book a makeup artist, buy a big white dress. You don't need to have all your friends there. Buy the dress you want it. Or rent it if it's extravagant to do it for a photo shoot.

But find something that makes you feel stunning and invest a stupid amount of money into it. Be really selfish about it. Feel beautiful. And get your photos done, get your nails done, get everything done, feel stunning, and have those and get them printed off everywhere. Treat it like, you know how people do like the registry office

to get like officially married and then they have like a wedding that is an official but they get the photos from it. Treat it like that. Yeah. I think you have to give yourself both people, both, both the people who've sent in. Like, I think it's like Jacqueline always says, like resentment is like taking poison

and expecting the other person to die. Ultimately, resentment only hurts you. You have to work out where you're going to put it. You don't want to live your life with feelings of resentment, whether it be towards people who haven't engaged with it, with your content or haven't celebrated you in the way that you want, whether it's with your own memories, whether it's with your children, like God forbid your children

or the circumstances that led to your children being at your wedding. you are completely valid to feel resentment. I think it's really unrealistic and unhealthy that we have this expectation on ourselves that we're only ever going to feel gratitude and joy and love and appreciation for everyone in our lives because that's simply not the case. We will at times feel resentful.

You just have to work out where you want to put that because if you carry, if you keep it in your heart, it's going to hurt you. You're the only one that will be hurt by it. You need to find a way to put it down and move on. And you need to be practical. You need to be practical within that. And sometimes it just does include just standing the fuck up and going, right, okay, that wasn't great.

Yeah. I've said it. I'm acknowledging that it's not great. I'm not going to sit in silence about it. I'm going to stand up and say, you fuckers didn't like my Instagram post and it hurt my feelings. Or I didn't like how I looked on my wedding day and I'm going to do something about it. Own how you feel. Yeah.

And make a step forward. And vocalize it. Yeah. Talking to the relevant people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talking to someone about it. Very powerful. Mm-hmm.

Really powerful. Even if you have a therapist, like, talk to your therapist about it. Yeah. That is not like too silly or small a problem to take to your therapist. I think we've grown up in a world where we've always talked about social media. You use that last person, used the word in the email vein. We've grown up in a world where people talk about social media like it's something very silly, frivolous, narcissistic, vain, self-obsessed. These are words that are directed about you, but I get these all the time.

People comment on my stuff all the time going, look at me, look, you know, like sort of saying like, you know, oh, look at me, look at me, look at me. like I just want attention. Yes. That is literally the nature of the game. What I'm doing. Yes. I need your attention because it pays my bills. Just like you need my attention by leaving this stupid fucking comment, you absolute loser.

But I digress. We have this attitude with social media that it's really silly and it's just for vain people to feel validated. Yeah. But you are within that. a human being who wants to be validated. Right. This is how we operate now. This is where we live in the same way that you walk into a classroom.

You don't want to be the one sat at the back when no one talking to you. You don't want to go up online and have no one engaged with you. If you walked into any other situation and you were ignored, it would hurt your feelings. If you go online and you are ignored, it will hurt your feelings. We have to give space for like that as a reality. And I think we've still got this idea in our head that we're being silly and we kind of invalidate ourselves. And we're like, oh, no, it's just, we know it doesn't matter. It doesn't translate and blah, blah.

But it's like, you're allowed to feel, you're allowed to feel hurt by it. It's allowed to matter to you. Yeah, I just, I want people to know that, like, your feelings, if it matters to you, it matters. But honestly, it's something we could do a whole episode on. I would love to do an episode of vanity with you. Because we're, it's like, girls, the most important thing about you is how you look. but don't be vain. Yeah.

Okay. That's quite hard. Yeah. Literally. That's a very difficult paradox to navigate. It's an impossible. It's an impossibility. Yeah.

Care about it, invest in it, spend all this money achieving it, but don't whatever the fuck you do, acknowledge it. Don't show the effort. No. Don't show any effort and don't acknowledge your success either. Because if you have successfully mastered it, If you have accomplished all these impossible standards that we've told you to, silence.

You must perform with ease and accept with grace. And just be quiet and look beautiful. Ornamental. You have to paint yourself perfectly sit in the kiln for the exact right amount of time, shine like a diamond and say nothing. But even like spend all the money on it. But it's like, but don't admit. that you spend the money on it.

No, no, no. Don't show that you're making effort. No, no, no. It's supposed to be an effortless... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't age, but don't be fake. Like, don't... Botox.

That's for losers. Gross. Yeah, no, that's... You're selling out, and you're actually a really bad feminist if you do that, because we're supposed to grow all gracefully. Let's do an episode on this. No, don't, because I ended up having to talk about this on Lorraine last week, and it was hectic.

Oh, my God. Got a bit blindshided, if I'm honest. Well done. Because I didn't love it. I didn't like the rhetoric. I didn't like the... Yeah. It ended up being like, you know...

On the individual. It ended up being a lot of onus on the individual. And I actually, I've got quite a lot of shit in DMs. And I'll tell you what I got as well, which really pissed me off. I've noticed it more and more. And I wanted to talk about this for a while. Women who are quite frankly old enough to be my mother. Yeah.

Sending me really rude opinions about how I look. Like what? Say what? Well, just... And I think a lot of people were quite triggered by that segment. People on both sides. people feeling well yeah

people yeah people feeling triggered obviously a very emotive a hundred percent so I can see how it's happened but like people are really really about my eyebrows

like just these women being like well at least we don't do stupid things to this and blah blah and just like stuff that you know you know that you keep seeing these means of like boomers like an arm and mums and whatever

and how they just can't help but just be horrible about people who walk past yeah it's like that but they're just coming into my DMs that's so rude and I'm just like guys

take a walk please like because I think you'll kids would be fucking motto if they read what you just said to me. It's because something's been triggered within there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cool, 100%. And I found that whole thing. It was why I was why I was really anxious all week and it was like, it was because with Lorraine, when you do TV like that, you find out about an hour before you go on what you're talking about. Sometimes, I mean, literally with that, that's terrifying. That's

terrifying. That's terrifying. I only got my card as I was walking up to the set. Yeah. So then it's like, so I don't get to prepare what I would like. No, always, you know, you don't always get to, actually, no, you don't get to live TV, you don't get to prepare, really. So I didn't say, like, and I'm always, and I, and I cried actually because I got a DM from a woman calling me, I sent it to you, and I cried for hours. Which one? Saying that I was a massive hypocrite.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was like, I'm back, I mean, I'm not going to read it out, but she was, you know, like saying she was baffled by me. Like, I was really hypocritical because I was calling out anti-aging, but then I, you know, I do anti-aging products. and ads and whatever and I sent her voice and I sent her like a three minute voice note

just crying I was like I don't know what you want from me I am so fucking tired I'm doing my best but she I think she said in it like I'm disappointed in you she also said it's really performative I was like of course it's performative

I was on TV I'm performing that's my job like that's all any of us when we engage in any social situation we are performing yeah because it's if I showed

like if I didn't I'd be really shit at my job like that's what this is I find that I find that so frustrating I reply back to you like none of us

live outside of the systems No one I said in the video I'm a massive hypocrite Please We live within those systems I want as much collagen in my system As is humanly possible I sit with my silly little red light mask on

Every single night I moisturise the shit out of myself I am all over this stuff Because I'm a victim of the patriarchy aren't we all. I don't even know how we got here, but... I want to do a proper episode on this, you know, on vanity. Mm-hmm.

Like, I think we should do it. Yeah, I'm right with you. Structured, like a loose structure and we can really dive into it. Yeah, maybe we get an expert. We could do as two-part. We keep threatening these. We do. I'm actually interested in it societally because if you think about it,

like I always think it's one of those words that's gendered. But then when you think about... It's so gendered, yeah. But then Dorian Gray, mind you think what happened to him. But like, you know, when I think about, like, a tape, of famous vanity the most famous tale of vanity it's about man interesting but I think he was quite effeminate I mean he was quite effeminate and I think he I think that's the interesting thing within that as well it's like he's shown to be quite an

effeminate character and he's showing that it's like it's like vanity is a feminine trait oh that's interesting my head goes immediately to women which women I don't I think when I think of vanity it I immediately go to like shame rather than seeing a specific woman, but I'm seeing like all of us like shame, like don't be vain, don't be vain. See, I associated with a meanness. Like when I think of vanity,

I think it's a mean trait. I think it's a trait that like a mean, I think I've heard it associated with meanness. Like selfish women. Okay, oh, interesting. Like I picture the stepmother in Cinderella. Interesting. As a vain woman.

Okay, okay. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But I more think There's a coldness to it Someone that Someone that People would describe

Like would say Like she's up herself I mean Who do they want her to be up I think this all the time You're so full of yourself I'm not going to be full of you I know

I'm full of myself And in a world of women and girls Riddled with insecurities Literally handed to us How nice that she's full of herself I actually have my fun My good and a fun To give you on the back of this

You know this anyway because I told you at the weekend But we do affirmations I do affirmations with Arlo before she goes to bed And so we brush her hair and she looks in the mirror And she says her affirmations Which are along the lines of I am beautiful And I'm kind and I'm strong and all these things And the last one is always I am loved unconditionally

Which is sweet, hard for a two-year-old Who often ends up saying I am loved conditionally And every time she says that, I'm like, you're going to do it as a therapist one day. My mum used to meet me sit in front of the mirror and say, I am loved conditionally. I'd look myself in the eye and say, I am loved conditionally. That is so cute. It's my favourite thing.

I want to do them with Tommy when he's older than. I do it. I mean, it's hard to raise a boy because, you know, you don't want another boy with all these ideas of grandeur. but then he needs to have good self-worth. Definitely. And he needs to know, he's beautiful. Yeah. And kind, and soft.

And soft. Yeah. And strong and soft. And he's a good son. Yeah. Yeah. He's a kind man. Yeah.

It's, oh, and Olo was rubbing her tummy last night. She's like, big tummy. Like, beautiful big tummy. And then we rubbed my tummy and went, yes, big tummy. Do you know, it was so cute at the weekend. Arlo, I think she was doing like a water fight. So she took all of her clothes off. Stony.

And then Tommy. he spotted that she'd taken her clothes off and was like now fuck that minor coming off too so he was like he was desperately trying to rip the top off of his head like screaming like get off off and then taking his shorts off and then pulling his nappy dave said that about tommy it's like he's never the first to get naked but he's always very quick to get naked oh yeah it's like that's a great personality trait to see you through life as soon as he sees someone with his top off he's like run get it off he wasn't born football hooligan my people

so sweet watching them together it was so sweet and she was like a mini car that you can sit in for kids and I said to think Tommy can go in the car and she was like he can but it's a bit wet Tommy bit wet she's like can we dry it for Tommy

it was just so cute and she's got such a big car and he's just so fun mind you I say sorry guys we're going to break the fourth wall here we've recorded these back to back sorry So we're still the Wednesday after my birthday. But there was at one point where there's a little water,

there's a little water fountain thing. You don't what you call it, there's a bucket of water basically. And I came outside and it was full of bubbles. And when Tommy turned around, he was like frothing at the mouth and your little hungover face. You're like, he's eating loads of bubbles. I was like, shit.

Do you think he's going to be alright? Shit. Yeah. Probably. But I would think of Stuart Litter when he goes through the washing machine. I cannot look away for a second. Literally, that's what he's like.

He was frothing. And I was like, oh, for fuck sake, Tommy. Literally for a second I left you. Right. We got to wrap up. We do. Can you give me conclusions, please, for both the people who wrote in? Parting thoughts for them both, please.

I'm worried that we weren't kind enough to them because this obviously feels really big for them and I'm worried we didn't do it justice. Is this staying in the episode or are you saying? Yeah, yeah. I don't know. Do you think we did? I hope we didn't

invalidate your feelings basically because I get them all. 100%. I actually hope we didn't because I think what we were trying to communicate is that it's a complete inevitability that you feel like this. Definitely.

I think what I'm hoping, particularly for the first person, is that you don't feel yeah, I worry there that we I want to be really soft when I, when we're, when we're, when we're,

talking because I'm just, I'm really sorry that that's how you feel and I'm sorry that it's made you feel that way about your body. Yeah. Because you say in that, in that voicemail that you feel beautiful and before your wedding you felt and you love your body and that's really what matters. Yeah. And you need to find a way of not losing sight of that. And I wish I knew the answer, but I don't. But I could just almost guarantee you with like 100% certainty that the reason that the photo didn't get the likes you thought it was wasn't because of your weight. 100% 100% yeah 100% like it's just it's not and if it that is the reason and those people aren't even you don't want your right people yeah no they can take their little hearts and

they can shove them right out their bum holes I just don't believe it because the people that love you genuinely love you want love you want to see you happy and healthy yeah and that's all that matters yeah they don't care whether you've lost weight for your wedding or not no 100% and honestly like genuinely like and I think about this quite a lot like the people that you really, really care about, like, you know, like eyeball to eyeball, like, if they care, like if you, if you've got like a modicum of doubt within you, that they genuinely care that that's a consideration for them, like, what the fuck are you doing with them? There's something really wrong with them. There's something really, really wrong. And that is nothing to do

with you. And you can't keep putting your self-worth in their hands because they cannot be trusted. They're alive that living stupid hands, dirty hands. Yeah. Bad, bad, bad hands. Take it back. pick it up out their hands back in your hands clean nice safe hands yes okay that's what we'd say okay um big hug to both of you both of you we love it to bits guys thank you please do keep sending in um your problems we can't promise to help we can't try and solve them and then overthink of the answers that we gave you for three or four days afterwards okay okay okay can't wait all right we'll see you on monday all right love you bye should i delete that as part of the acast creator network Thank you.