Should I Delete That? - Just Us: WhatsApp overwhelm, kids on planes and bringing more joy into our lives…

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Yassou! Al’s back from Cyprus and she’s had a digital detox… but meanwhile Em has 1622 unread WhatsApp messages on her phone. We try to find a way to streamline our personal and work lives - surely we’re not the only people who are completely overwhelmed by our phones? We also discuss our experience of taking kids onto flights - and how people react differently to mothers and fathers when they’re holding a screaming child. And - we bring you our much-promised chat about exercise, motherhood and finding space to prioritise yourself. If you want to get in touch you can email us on [e-mail] Follow us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Elliott MckayVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Sarah EnglishMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome back to Sheds Delete That. I'm like slight. And I'm then Clarkson. How are you? I'm good. Are you? A little bit tired. You've had a week away. Flew back last night.

How was it? A little jet setter. It was so nice. I had such a nice break. You're in Cyprus with your family. I was in Cyprus with my mum and dad lived there. And so we took Tommy over me and Dave and Tommy. and it was it was just it was it was wonderful i like i had a digital detox did you yeah how was that

unbelievable like so good and i i think um i feel like tj power he does love a digital detox yeah i followed him on instagram subsequently and all he says is i wasn't on my phone and i'm like i feel like a monster that i keep seeing that from the phone i know and he keeps doing dopamine detoxes It was like four, I know, it's intense. Couldn't be me. No, no, no, no, no. Well, it was you. It was me. It was amazing.

It was so good. And it's, it's incredible because you feel like, I can't put my phone down. I can't put my phone down. Like, everything needs to be done. I can't put it down. And then you realize that you actually can. Yeah. And it's really nice.

Yeah. And it was so nice because I don't, I really don't want Tommy just growing up, seeing me with my phone in my hand all the time, like taking my phone to the toilet, like constantly just need to be on my phone all the time. I don't want that. I really want him to like. to like just live as phone free as possible for as long as he can which obviously probably won't be that long in this world and so that was really nice just being able to spend time with

him fully present without my phone yeah we've been talking about it like we're trying to build boundaries and stuff for us we are for ourselves and for the pod and for the way that we work because it is nuts like we're living in I think did I send it to you I overheard a conversation overheard ellis and daughter podcast I was oh my god that's what podcast yeah yeah Oh, that's, yeah, that's just blown my mind. That's what, that's all podcast. Yeah, but I didn't know where that came from in my head. Like, it just came out.

We're just overhearing conversations constantly. Because that's exactly what I did. Oh my God. Yeah, go on. Weird. I can't even remember whose conversation was. The juicy one. It was a bit, no, it wasn't.

I mean, it was just about the what, like the overwhelm, the WhatsApp overwhelm. And I mean, I know we've talked about this. And I don't know what's happened on my phone, but the fucking tab system has changed on WhatsApp. So then it now shows me that I have 1,622 unread wall. WhatsApp messages on my home page. And I just don't think that's kind. Like, and I don't know how to make it go away. Oh my God.

I don't think you can. No, and I'm living. Unless you literally make them go away. I have 84 miscalls. Like, it's just, I mean, I know about those because I literally look at my phone ringing. I'm like, um, on the WhatsApp thing. I know we've talked about it before, but I am so unhappy with this situation. I'm intrigued as to whether people in other industries rely on WhatsApp for their,

all of their, like, professional communication now because I am. I actually think Slack, have you heard of Slack? I hadn't really, but I think a lot of it happens on there as well as slack. I think maybe that's what we need. We can talk, I mean, we've been talking about this all fair. We aren't running very, well, okay, so I feel since Lily Phillips episode, I've been in a bit of a spiral. And I think, and I was saying it to you just before we started recording, for me, when I had one kid, and I think this is like indicative of society, right? As a people pleaser, when you have one child, you just fit into everybody's plans.

so for me I was like oh yeah we'll just bring the baby we'll just our life won't change we're gonna be fine and we'll just and even though it's so much it was so much harder for me at the time because everything I did I had to pretend I didn't have a kid basically and it was like I'm just gonna work as hard as I did before and I'll go to everything like I did before and yeah I'll be at your wedding and yeah I'll just do this and I'll just bring the baby and she like she won't make a noise and you won't know she's there and like you just spend your whole life like that and what I found since having a second one and trying to work is I just can't do that anymore yeah it's drag two along and hope no one notices like You can't, like, I realize I'm like, everything, my whole life has changed in a way that

I didn't really anticipate this time. And I've just come up against like a brick wall and I've just, it's obviously a boundary, which is good because I'm communicating it. But I just can't, like, do what I was doing. And so we've been talking about streamlining, because I clearly do not work well on WhatsApp. Well, given that you have 1,22.622. Too many. How do you know that many people I don't really that's insane no but I do I I wonder if like WhatsApp ruins how we work how we can but then but then also I I find it so much easier than an email oh god you want to yeah emails are and and they're also formal it's like you've seen seen you have to say like hello Andrew I hope you're having a nice day I hope you're well I hope the family's well

what's up kind of whereas you can just be like fuck you and fuck you mother hi Andrew do you have this. Yeah. Yeah. I've got no time for pleasantries. Yeah. I think like overwhelmingly and that was quite encouraging for me to hear it on another podcast because I do just keep thinking. I'm like, am I the only person that just can't survive? Like, am I the only person that just like completely overwhelmed all the time by my phone? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's constant. It is constant. Yes, I am the only person or you? No, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just you. It's just, yeah. Yeah. It's so weird that you feel like that. How embarrassing. No, it's exactly true.

It's literally non-stop. It doesn't stop. And I notice how on the weekend, like the contrast between a Friday and a Saturday with WhatsApp is so stock. And you realize, don't you? Because on Saturday, I'm like, my phone is so quiet. Because on Friday, it's just non-stop. Yeah.

There's just so much work going on. Yeah, yeah. Because it's all done through WhatsApp now. So we're trying to, and like, again, we're not like saving lives. We're not like, not to over-eg the job because it's, you know, like, we're really lucky. but a lot does go into it and I think I'm realising that like we can go a little bit on autopilot

and I was annoyed at myself after the Lily Phillips thing because obviously we copped shit for it again stand by what we did but in the sort of episode reflecting on it I said it was like you know we were tired and we had our kids and that was kind of why we didn't do the best job and then I thought about it and I was like

I'm annoyed at myself for doing that for saying that because yeah it is you know it's valid like you know it's valid but also I'm annoyed that like I am not able to give everything to everything at the moment and maybe that's just maybe I'm having some like big existential about trying to be a working mom but I do think as well that you can't I hear what you're saying but then that also sets another standard for yourself where it's like okay so I'm not doing that at the moment I'm not giving everything to everyone at the

moment so if I put these boundaries in place that I will be able to and the reality is probably you're never going to be able to do that because it's impossible and you can't parent like you don't have a job and work like you don't have kids you can't do that it's not possible and even and people without kids will be will resonate with this as well because it's like we all have lives yeah yeah like it's really hard and then sometimes like yeah like and it's hard to come into work sometimes and and leave everything at the door like emotional personal psychological like how tired you are like you know all of this stuff so I think don't but don't set yourself that standard because you're always going to be

be disappointed by that. I think there are ways that we can work better 100% and we can be more confident in the work that we're putting out knowing that we are, everything feels more streamlined and like we've got proper like channels of working. I think we can do that. But I don't think we'll ever be at a place where like we said in the Lily Phillips interview, we will always be able to do better in interviews like, it's the same for everything and everyone. But I think that's the thing. When I go to bed and think I did the best job I could today, I'm okay. But I'm like, I think at the moment I just feel like and I think this is probably for everyone like I don't feel like I'm doing the best job because I just don't feel like the environment is conducive to the best of when I'm not

talking about having kids I'm talking about the phones and the access that we have to each other I was thinking about like our parents generation and like when they were in the evenings we just like got to read and stuff and like I know we also have that choice and we're so lucky to have the choice and we've got all of this information and stuff like bloody hell like it's a bit much which is why I've got into all my stupid hobbies I suspect trying to keep me off my phone Yeah, trying to keep the overload at bay. Yeah. But then do we work much harder as a generation?

Yeah. I'd say. I mean, cost of living is crackers. Work life balance is crackers. Like I know boomers give us a hard time and stuff, but like everybody's working so hard. And when people put in boundaries, which I actually think Gen Z are quite good at and say, no, I don't want to do this. I won't work weekends. I don't want to sacrifice this, this and this.

Then everyone just calls some snowflakes. So I would say that, yeah, we'd do. seem to work quite hard. Oh yeah, because the way boomers talk about Gen Z, even the way the millennials talk about Gen Z and their lack of work ethic and how they... Because we were taught to like...

Hustle. Hustle. Go boss. Yep. Do everything for everyone and that's what gets you notice. Like, don't stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And eventually you'll break through. Yes. Which eventually you'll break down as well. So there's that.

A break is coming, I thought. Yeah, yeah. That's one of the other. But I wonder if we... work hard like not harder i wonder if we do more work now we must do more work now because of like how much access we have to like productivity hacks and like never mind that things just more work to do this is what your computer all the time like in the olden days how do people work i don't understand i really do i say this quiet how did companies run i've been thinking about it this my mom had a Roller Decks, right? I remember my mum having a roller deck. What even is that?

It's a, it's a, see, so. No, I think I do know. Yeah. I was very exposed to offices in the 90s because my parents worked together and they worked from home and my mum had an office. So we're talking stationary covered, Roll the X. Oh my God, the best. Like the works. And it's only now thinking back, I'm like, but how? Like, when you had to fax shit, like there's only so many faxes you can send in a day. And when you're faxing, you're faxing, you can't dooms scroll or send emails while you're faxing. You've got to stand at the fax machine and wait for it to fax. Yeah. Whereas now it's like something's uploading to the cloud or send a few emails while it's going.

You can just do more. But like 10 times more. And there's just, but how do I don't understand how companies got off the ground back then. Like how they got so bit like how? I know. Or is there just a lot more expected of companies now? I mean, my point of reference is literally the greatest showman when he's working for the shipping yard.

I was not expecting that, like at all. I can't think of any, I don't know anything about any work. And I'm not saying the previous generations. I mean, obviously, we're talking white collar work as well. And we're being very exclusionary of the fact that a lot of work for a lot of years has been manual labour, which obviously there's like a means to an end there. Yeah, yeah. So we're talking office jobs, right?

But like, yeah, I don't know. in the office, when you walked into the office, what did you do? You must have had meetings. Things were on paper. Like in the great show, again, they're all sitting at their desks and then your man comes in and says, the ship's sunk. You've all got to go home now. And it's like, but what were you all doing while the ship was going? Because you weren't putting stuff on, so you're probably organising what was going onto the ship and you were selling it probably to people in China or wherever it was going. I think people had nice. of lives.

That's my conclusion. I think that's the, okay, maybe not nicer. I don't think nice. They won't have had lattes. They won't have had. But imagine their nervous systems. Yeah, they were. Like, we are on edge.

I think as a generation, like we are constantly on edge. Yes. And it's no surprise. Because it's like, go, go, go constantly. Like, busy is a badge of honor. I heard badger, like a badger honor. I was like, how busy is a badger honor? Badger, Your Honour.

We don't stop. We're like, we're obsessed with productivity. Like you say, something uploads the cloud. Well, I can't waste that time that is spent uploading to the cloud. Children would make that worse for me as well. Because now I'm like, if I've got childcare hours, I am going to make them work. And also, because you feel guilty. Guilt.

Because I'm like, someone else is raising my kid, looking after my child. So I have to. Yeah. I have to make this count. But I have to make the money. to pay for that person, I have a spin a week. Then my mum sat me down last week and had a word with me because she was like, this is silly.

Like you are spending loads of time with your kids. You've got a great balance. You've got a great life. This is so much better than it would have been in the 90s when you would have had to go to work. And I said, actually, that's a really good point. I'm sorry. Because she had to go back to work before the home office and the roller decks.

Yeah. She had to go back to work. I had to stop breastfeeding and go back to work. And that, we don't know we're born. We don't know we're born. But I think there might be a bit more like self-regulation. meltdown where it's like before it was like well this is a situation is I have to leave my kid and go to work fucking heart kid or whatever but you know that's the that's the thing and it's

like it's horrible so you either leave the job or whatever whereas now I think you've kind of got the choice where it's like well and it's this thing women can have it all so we think like well we can and we're so lucky because we have the flexibility and we have the like option to do both things but it's in that where you're in charge I think that's the the mental load of being in charge is exhausting. Exhausting. Fun though. You know, we are having a nice time.

No, we're toxicly positive. Yeah, sorry, that was a swerve. I was just aware. I was like, I don't even want to think I'm complaining. Yeah, I'm fine. It's all on fire, but yay, lattes. But it's beautiful. No, that, that, oh, that gets me.

That feeling of like time is so precious. And then the anger, I get at myself, are wasting any time. Yeah. I got the hang of that I got the balance just before I got pregnant with Zanthi I got comfortable and then

Never get comfortable I've yeah fool And then I got pregnant Idiot And then I'm very uncomfortable Yeah And then now I'm trying to redress the balance again It's very hectic

It's so hard This leads us on to something Actually really nicely That we promised that we were going to talk about And we never did Exercise exercise I was actually going to say that because that for me is something

that I am like battling with at the moment and I know as I say it out loud I'm going to sound like it's going to sound obvious what the solution is and it's going to sound like you know but like I feel like if I see one more thing on Instagram about how like if I don't exercise

soon I probably won't live much longer like if I see one more thing and I'm like I know how are these things? I know You've never seen messaging like that. Have you not? How's that coming to you? I'm being targeted.

Yeah, but by whom? That's horrible. It's people would just like, the benefits of exercise and like, I do this so I can like, I do this, like lift weight so I can lift my kids when they're whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I can stand up when I'm older and, you know, and it shows like the granny being able to stand up. So it was a little bit of, I thought you were literally being sent like, go for a run or you're going to die tomorrow.

Yeah, well, that's how I interpreted it because. Inevitable. Catastrophising. middle name so that's where I'm at but I feel like it's something that I can't make time for and I know as I'm saying it it's that that doesn't that's stupid I know that because I know it's something that I can make time for I have the time technically yeah I do it's just I don't know do you enjoy exercise I do not enjoy some forms I I enjoy boxing.

Yeah. I enjoy boxing and swimming, but I'm not going to swim. That's not going to happen. That takes way too much time out of the day. Yeah. I think like, yeah, I mean, I'm super aware of this and I nearly did a story about it yesterday actually because I ran, I did 11 miles yesterday. It's like for my run.

And obviously I'm doing the half marathon. And I hope it's obvious people following me that exercising is my job in lots of ways. And I'm very deliberate about that when I got pregnant, when I came back to exercise after having Arlo, because this is how I rationalised it with myself, which is probably incredibly chronically unhealthy. But I got a sponsorship with a running training plan. So that every time I went for a run, I was like, I am at work. Like, I have to do this because this is the content I'm being paid to make, which really helped me. And now I'm a sweaty, Betty ambassador, which is the same thing. And as part of my deal with them, I have to run the half marathon.

So for me, and then I've filmed the runs. So yes, they're for my head, but they're also for my content which is a very unique situation but I was really aware of it because it's like this is not normal that I'm using childcare Monday like that I'm going on a run when I've got a nine month old baby on a Monday morning that I'm going for a run I hear I hear you and like that is how I would have rationalised it as well but like isn't it sad that you need to rationalise it at all well the other side of that is like obviously let's not be around the bush I've had catastrophically bad mental health over the last 18 months and I know you know when we've talked about the ADHD stuff I know that's how I go

like exercises how I and I am determined both me and Alex are determined that our kids will have a happy mum and I can't be a good mom if I don't fill up my cup and I see it and I think maybe for me it's like quite um like quite a clear thing because if my if I'm too overstimulated and I don't exert my energy or move my body, I just, I feel myself. I'm like, I'm not being good. I'm not being the mum I want to be. So I think it's taken me working that out. But I'm really lucky because I enjoy exercise. Yeah. And that's the thing that I'm so aware of as well. Like, if you don't like running, going for a run is a horrible thing to do, particularly when, as we've just got into the mental load, you're exhausted, you haven't slept.

you've got no time to yourself. If you finally get half an hour to yourself and you're like, you're going for a run. It sounds like an awful idea if you don't like running. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it's not filling up your cup if you don't enjoy it. Yeah, yeah.

So you need to find something you enjoy. This is one of the things instead is like if we're talking about filling up my cup rightly or wrongly, probably wrongly, like I would love to watch an episode of like housewives, real housewives, you know? Well, then do that. But if you want to exercise,

I think it needs to be a separate pot. have good mobility as I grow old. I think maybe you just have to see it. Like for me, I think I, and that's why I say I'm really lucky that I enjoy it. It is useful for me that I have been able to streamline this process to make exercise work and good for my mental health and be something that I enjoy. Like all those three things has just made it good for me. And I think that's luck in part.

But I also, you know, we said it at the live show. If you don't enjoy exercising, if you don't enjoy the exercise that you're doing that doesn't mean you won't enjoy any exercise it's so so true but like there are so many different forms of exercise i started hula hooping which can i say is i mean a contact sport you've seen my bruises oh my god they're insane i've got fucking good at it though and it's so good for your yeah that looks really fun it's it's that's a thing like it is fun and funny as soon as we stop recording i'm buying a hula hoop yeah i'll send you a link um i put a link up on um go on i mean it had thousands of clicks and I was like guys this is too many people clicking the hula hoop

I'm not totally confident in my mouth but I'm pretty sure according to the link conversion thing that we sold 952 hulubes oh my make it 953 something a link it's really fun but that's what I'm saying and I'm starting poll obviously that was a natural progression for me that is I'm jealous of that that is exciting come well find one I found one local I mean they're all over the place And you know online. Like I think, I don't know, like that's the, you have to find something that you, yeah, it's true because you're not going to, yeah. You're just not going to do it.

There's too much friction when you, when you, but life is full of enough suffering. Don't add more. Like if you, if the thing that you, if you don't like doing it, don't, you just won't do it. And, you know, we say a million times nothing positive comes from hate. So whether you hate yourself or you hate the thing you're doing, you're not going to, it's like when you times anything by zero, you're going to get zero. Oh, I love that. Yeah, thanks. If it hates in the equation, it's just going to come out negative. If negativity's in the equation, it's going to come out negatively. It's been far too much maths in this episode for me. I understand that. My brain's scrambled. I love a number. No, I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you and I agree with you. Yeah. But I do think talking from both sides of this conversation, the message is clear. You need to do more to prioritize your mental health. I do.

I'm just trying to work out what that is. Yeah. Because that's what I actually, I think that was like before the holiday before I felt, because I feel great now. I feel like rested and like so like. You seem great. Yeah.

I feel like a bit alive again. But before I was like all I want to do, I was just craving, just sitting on the sofa and watching Real Housewives. But now I'm rested, I feel less like that. So maybe that was just like more of a, I just need to like tap out of life a little bit, like escapism. But now I'm like, I want to do exercise. I really, really want to.

two. I want to make it a priority. I'm never going to do it five days. It's never going to be me. Like five days, like twice a week, maybe three if I like. Let's be incredibly boring and just accept the people that are overhearing this conversation and we could be having it privately and I'm sorry that we're not. On a practical level, if we are going to start spending, as we've said, we want to spend the whole day in the studio because we want to make this business work better, there are gyms all over the place. We could start going to boxing together. Phase in. That would be really cool. Yeah. That'd be really cool. So we could just start. I mean, there's like a, There's stuff all over the place around here

So we could just go and do that in a morning That would be really cool Yeah And then that's one session a week done Yeah And it will be good for your mental health So I just need to just do one more Fine

Yeah Well you could do it at home Or you can start hula hooping Or start with one and see if you hate it And if it works Do you think I could get Amazon Next day first day delivery? Same day delivery

Fuck yeah Oh my god I want one right now I should have brought it in with me I could have got it in my backpack Because it comes apart We could have done a hula hooping episode Guys, I, I'm going to learn tricks on this.

I mean, I haven't given up on the handstands, but I'm going to be honest, a broken jaw, like I still live with the consequences of that jawbreak and going upside down, the whole side of my face was fallen for like a week. But I'm not going to stop because I still love it. Are you still handstanding? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, no, still doing those. Headstandly, sorry. Well, no, I'm on the way to the handstands now. I'm actually getting very good. Like, it's becoming quite bizarre. And I'm also becoming very musly. And I saw myself yesterday and I was like, I am jacked. And then I was like, why?

And it was like, because I'm literally, when I could be sitting on the sofa, I'm just upside down. It's so weird. Like, it's so weird that I've just ended up on this, like, odd little path. But I'm so happy with it. People keep asking, like, why are you doing this? And I'm like, why does everything have to have a... Like, people keep messaging and, sorry if I've missed it, but why are you doing this? And I'm like, for the fucking joy of it.

Also, that's such a nice shut off, isn't it? Yeah. Shut from the world and to, like, engage your brain in something that is completely unrelated to, like, the grind of... Yeah. of like our phones. And if you're not having fun, then honestly, what's the point? You know what I mean?

Like, just occasionally, just sorry, like, oh my God, forgive me for just having a giggle. I'm inviting so much more fun into my life. Yeah, good. Get a hulu. This is me. Where are the juggling balls? That's why I want to know.

I nearly bought some at the weekend and I'll let out. I've got a problem. No, I've got a problem with the juggling balls. Betty won't let me juggle with them. No. She just wants them. So I can't do it anywhere near her. And Tommy wants them as well.

It's literally impossible. All right. Well, they're holding you back. They're both like, They're both like just, just, like, scrambling at me to get the balls. That's quite metaphorical of your situation at the moment in your life. I literally can't even juggle because of my juggle. I know we're so late in the episode for this, but I have an awkward.

Oh, my God, me too. Please go. Oh, good. Arlo, I can't believe I'm sharing this information. Alex gave for the choice. I was like, do you want to brush your hair? Like, brush her own hair. I was like, that's nice.

Love that for them. So she was brushing her own hair. I swear to God, I turn around for two fucking minutes. And when I look back around, she's brushing. his bum cheeks. Whose hairbrush is she using? Mine. Oh my god. Naked bum cheeks. She's like brushing daddy's bum cheeks. I was like, what is happening with my tool? Wait, was that like spent over? No, he just sort of stood up. Like I think it was, I don't know, he was just trying to keep the piece. He was like, you know, you just do you. But because I started with the leg hair, she's like, I brushed the leg hair and then it's like brush the arm hair and then it's like brush the bum bum.

It's like, guys. Oh my God. I've got to put that through my hands. I've got to put that through my hands. I've got to put that during my hair in the morning. He's always really clean. I've showered. I was like, yeah, but that's before you sat on it all day. Oh my God. So I've got Alex's bum cheeks in my hair. End of the day bomb. Yeah, yeah. Bath time bomb. Oh no. Bath time bomb. Worst. The worst. God. So my life is festering. I know. I know. Bad. So that's nice. That's probably shouldn't have been an awkward. It should be just bad. I see Alex in a new light. Yeah. Oh, gross. I know. I'm so sorry. I know. It's right away. It's not worth it.

It's right away. I'm actually going to do something where I'm going to try to teach Charlie the value and things even when they break because at the moment. Yeah. So I'm really trying to be like, I'll fix it.

Also got hella toxic because things would break and I go, oh, daddy could fix that. And then I'm like, and then she keeps going, something breaks and she goes, Daddy, and I'm like, Mommy will do it. Mommy can fix it.

So mommy keeps promising to fix that things. I'm going to take up Kinsugi. What? Oh, the gold plates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet you're only money you do. Because I've broken loads, well, Tommy's broken loads. And I've kept it all away from him, obviously.

But I really, really want to put it back together. Not with real gold. I can't afford that. But like I'm going to buy some like nice fake gold. Are you? Possibly. I'll let you know. Yeah.

Let me hoot hoot first. I can't make you never see the results of these place. What is your awkward? Oh, my awkward. I was at the airport last night and I picked up the wrong child. I spun, I picked up and. spun round, well half spun around until I realised what I'd done the wrong child. And it was alarming for a lot.

Which airport? Quite a few parties, Pafos Airport and Cyprus. Oh my God. You're like human trafficking. Literally. You can't even explain away. So many people were alarmed. Yeah, of course they were alarmed.

I didn't know who to sorry to first. I was like, sorry to the kids. Sorry to the mum. Sorry to Dave. Dave was like, what are you doing? I was like, I don't know. What happened with a child? What did it do?

Smile? Cry. really confused, utterly perplexed, like with this woman. But to be fair to me, we were in a quiet corner of the airport that we'd found to let Tommy, like, run wild, run free before the airport to like let off steam. That was the idea anyway. But like all the other parents had had that idea. So we were all in a corner altogether, loads of kids. One was like wearing something similar to Tommy around the same height. And I was whizzing him around and then putting him down and then I whiz round

because it was making him laugh and then da-da-da. Somehow he got replaced by another child without me nearing and I just picked it up and I went, I was like, not my child. Oh my God.

It's like, ugh. That's so chaotic. It's so embarrassing. This didn't take it anywhere. Mind you, that's the problem with being the, like, not to shit on other parents, but if you're the one fun parent

in the soft play, you attract a crowd. If I ever spin around one of my kids in a children's environment, I honestly am at the pipe piper. It happens every week when on Fridays I turn around. It's like if Ollo and I dare to dance, I turn around and there's like four kids in the line.

I'm like, well, here we go. That is your lesson. Never be the fun parent in the soft play. Always look miserable. Yeah, yeah. Sit on your phone. Sit on your phone in the corner doing work, being hyperproductive and feeling guilty about it. There's the lesson.

I do want to talk to you about kids in the plane, but maybe this isn't the time. We've got a minute. Yeah, we've got a minute. Yeah, we've got a minute. You've got five minutes. You've got five minutes. Excellent. You know what?

We were actually really lucky on the way, because on the way out, it was, it was really bad. It was like he was, we fucked up with nap times and he was feral. Feral. He was so over, you know what it's like when they get overtired? It was just like, it was really, it was impossible. He couldn't, was nothing we could do, nothing, like no screens, snacks, nothing would work. It was just a full-blown tantrum, like, he had to cry himself to sleep, basically. Oh, shit. And it was awful.

And then all I kept thinking was like, you know those posts that say you're, you're entitled to a child-free, life, not a child-free world. Yes. And then everyone in the comments is always like, the caveat being that like the parents have to try hard to make them. I don't know if you see that, always in the comments, all the time, yeah. All the time it's like, yeah, but only if the parents are trying and da-da-da. And I was like, it stresses me out so much because I feel like I was like having to

perform constantly this like, I'm so sorry, I'm so, I promise you I'm trying, like over-trying constantly. It's like. What's Dave having to do that? No, he wasn't. I think there is something, no, he wasn't. I'm so aware of it. The look you get as a mum,

and like not to be that guy, but it is so exhausting. When we went up to Edinburgh and back, obviously we took both the kids on the train. I'm getting on the train with my husband, but it's me that people look at. And it's me that feels it as well. And like, if one of them makes a noise or whatever,

Alex was like, well, the kids, it's fine. But I'm like, I do exactly like you say. I'm like, I'm aware of the judgmental eyes and he just isn't aware of them. I'm like, have you not noticed that everybody in this carriage hates us? And he's like, no, why would they hate us? And it's like, God, our brains work so differently. So different.

Because we're just so attuned to the, like, the people pleasing and maybe the threat of, I don't know, discern or whatever. But I'm so aware of it. God, you're so right. I didn't even think about that. I just put that down to like the differences in my own day's personalities because I was literally hysterical. The woman behind me was giving me tissues. It was embarrassing.

He was having a full-blown. He was on one. and Dave was like everyone on this plane was a kid once like they will have flown to I mean there is an element of the pragmatism as well I hear that

but I do also think like there is a disproportionate expectation and I do think as well if I'm taking a screaming child down the aisle of a plane or train or whatever to go and change their napi everyone just gives me that if Alex is doing it you get they're like hands on down or what good man

and like it's so true like that does and we had that actually in and I mean Alex is so aware of that but I think I'm just said it before but we had that and like we went away to Dublin recently not that recently a few months ago when the kids were tired we had two kids basically and he took them down to breakfast one morning and I came down late was joward and vice versa and in the morning when he when I came down and he was there it was like oh the waitresses were there or the old people at the next door table were like oh let me help what can I do like look at this amazing dad and honestly people avoid the next morning when it was me people like

looking like avoiding me like the plague and there's like you know scrambled like on the floor and I'm on my hands and he's going sorry sorry sorry and picking everything up it's so true and it's like that it's going to take I mean years and years to generations probably but so I don't think it's just Dave's temperament like I think there is a societal savagery there but it's awful though because you just you just feel like you're performing like I need everyone around me to know that I'm trying I am so toxic I saw something yesterday that was on Instagram and it was like you I had a chat with my therapist in one sentence she said changed my life you can either be universally liked or you can be authentic you can't be both and I was like I could be both

challenge accepted what if what if what if you are so wonderfully authentic that you are universally liked what if I just do a better job of being authentic than everybody else I need to speak to your therapist because I am the anomaly your therapist has never met me and it shows. Oh, it's so bad. Love ending with a bit of toxicity. Oh yeah, I've been nothing but toxic. What do you want?

Toxic positivity, toxic delusion. I've got it all. All of it. All of it. Toxicity. I'm loving it. Yeah, fine. Here's toxicity and inviting more fun into our lives.

Toxic hobbies. Hooping. Hula hooping. And what else I say is going to do? Kinsugi. Yeah, well. What's his space? And boxing.

And boxing. Big to do list. Yeah, you're going to need a holiday again within like two or three days. Yeah. I'm so bad. All my hobbies have just taken it out of me. Got no free time. I've got nothing for myself.

I haven't seen Tommy in days. He's eating a juggling ball. Okay. This has been fun. Welcome back. See you on Monday. Love you guys. See you on Monday.

Love you guys. Bye. Should I delete that as part of the ACAST creator network?