Should I Delete That? - Milly Pickles: World Record Holder

Episode Date: October 8, 2023

This week, the girls are joined by Milly Pickles! Milly is an online fitness coach, amputee, electrocution survivor and world record holder. After an accident six years ago that almost took her life, Milly had to have one of her legs amputated. She embraced her survival by living life like never before: she blazed through physiotherapy to get back to work, got a first in her degree, became a world record holder as the first amputee to complete the Red Bull 400 and learnt to never accept bullshit in her love life. Milly's fierce can-do attitude is iconic, and we can't wait to see what she gets up to next.Follow Milly on Instagram @millypicklesFollow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So when I left hospital in the end, I actually cried because it was my second home and I didn't want to leave. You were there for, what, two and a half months did you say? That's a long time. That is a long time. Lived in London rent-free. Hello and welcome back to Should I Delete That? I'm Alex Light. And I'm M Clarkson. How you doing, Al? Good. Good. I was about to say I'm M Clarkson because I was looking at you. I'm not. How are you? I'm good. Give me something good. Tell me what's up. Whenever you say that, I have that your Friday song, feel good Friday song in my head. Tell me something good. It sticks in my head forever.

I'm not sorry. There are worse things to have stuck in your head like a wall. Well, that's true. But you know me. I like sad, sad depressing music. That's true. I'm going to start with my awkward because it just happened. if that's okay. I am desperate to know what this is because I've got that fear where someone was talking about me. No, no. For context, listeners, before she tells us what the awkward is, the awkward for me, we were just on a meeting, having a meeting, me and Al and Daisy and somebody else.

And when we got off, when the other person got off and it was just me and Al and Daisy left, Daisy went, oh, Em, Al sent me a text during that. I need to tell you. And I was like, don't tell her. Well, what do you mean? Don't tell me. Now I've got a complex. So I'm excited.

It's not about you, I promise. So we were on, yeah, we were on this V important business meeting. But Daisy, I could see Daisy's dog, spinach behind her lying on her bed. And he looked so cute. And I was like, oh my God, look at him. So I said to Daisy, I put in a private message to Daisy on Zoom, spinach, heart, heart. And she replied, I know, little baby. And then I wrote, because I thought, oh, I want to snuggle him, right?

I was like, I want to cuddle him. So I wrote, I want to snug him. but it auto-corrected to I want to snog him. That's illegal. I didn't even say I, I just said want to snog him. Oh, worse. When was the last time he had a snog? Like a full-arm snog.

With a dog? No. With a human, you absolute beast. I don't know, really. I know. I know. That's a lot. That is a lot, isn't it?

Yeah. Gross. Tongues are so weird I swear to God Definitely not with Dave Yeah no More likely Betty Yeah

Tongues are so weird They're like mouth slugs I've definitely snogged Betty more than I've snogged Dave This bad of year I do Yeah we're tongues No doubt No doubt

Licky Linda That's my girl Vile My own good Is that I trekked I went and did a trek around the second largest lake in the lake district

with my haggies and it was just amazing it was so beautiful further sort of hiked I think it was 25 kilometres it was just absolutely unreal like best day, best people such an adventure loved it commented it again next year it did look really really good

it was your idea of hell our personal hell we went up we went down when I say it looked good like it looked good from like your perspective but not my perspective it was peak it was so good oh god it's just reminded me of this meme that I was going to send to you and I forgot my best friend just told me she hates me actually she said she wanted to go hiking but it's the same thing you know when um when I was signing up for the trek for myself I sent it to so many of my friends to see if any of them wanted to come with me and I didn't even bother sending it to you

I was like it's just no way it's just no way I'm glad you did it I am very breathless at the moment. I don't know good. Honestly, before, I think it was even before pregnancy. I wouldn't have sent to you. No way. Thank you. Thank you for just knowing.

Yeah, I just know. I want to save you the awkwardness of having to say no, having to come up with an excuse. I know. Having to fucking fret about it for two weeks. Like, what am I going to say? What am I going to say? I know.

I'm not going to do that to her. I like it too much. I've got enough going on. Thanks. Have you got anything bad? My bad is that all, it's not very well. Oh, she's not, she'll be fine, but she's just not been well, and it's been, it's just been, like, the worst. It's literally the worst. Like me and Alex lying in bed last night. We didn't sleep last night because she's not well. She had a crazy fever. And you just lie there and you think, oh my God, how can I love something this much that makes me worry? Like, it's just, yeah, it's the worst. It's the worst. But she'll be fine. So we're just, I know, I know. That's so horrible. They're so helpless as well, aren't they? I know. And she can't talk.

say yeah i know i know bless her so no she's fine she's fine she's just like just it's just a worry it's just a little worry yeah it must be so scary but she'll get she'll be all right she'll be right yeah anything bad yourself yes um i nearly killed a dog bad oh my god very bad what you're trying to snog and snog them kill them it's not marry a void let's take it My good is got to be that I've, yeah, I've married. Snarkmarry kill. Snock marry kill. So, I made this flapjack.

Oh, the flapjack I talked about last week. Yeah, the good from last week. Oh my good. My good from last week turned into my bad from this week. Well, that's synergy. Made the flapjack. Honestly, it's very good, but I put a shit ton of like seeds and raisins and cranberries and stuff in there. Obviously dogs are very allergic to raisins.

Poison. I have them in the house, but I keep them on the very top shelf. And when I put them in the flapjack, I'm just very, obviously, very careful about it, right? Because I don't want a poison Betty. Anyway, my sister loves this flapjack so much. She loves it. It's her favorite thing. So I took her over a batch.

Yeah? And put it on her, and gave it to her. And she put it on the kitchen counter, and she had some. And she was like, yum, anyway. Yum, because I'm amazing at cooking. Anyway, she's got two dogs. She left it on the kitchen counter, the flapjacks. We went into the living room and literally two minutes later by the time we come back,

her dog had, her beagle had gotten up onto the counter and eaten all the flapjack's of raisins, full of raisins. So yes, we went straight to the vet and the poor thing. And he's the most scared dog in the entire world and he had to stay overnight at the vets. Oh my God, you really did a number on him. I know. Kill a flapjack. I know. I know. Wow. But my good is that he's fine. He survived. didn't kill a dog. My bad is I nearly did. My good is that he, I didn't. So we love the continuity. Nice. Okay. And, um, my bad, awkwards. Awquids. Um, yes. Oh, you know what. So, yeah, last week, my awkward, my last awkward was that I had an infected toenail or bad or something. I told you

all about my infected toenel last week. And then the week before I told you that flies kept landing on my head. And actually, I know, like, come on. What's wrong with you? Exactly. That's it. My awkward is, I'm just fucking gross. And I should have kept. it to myself. Although, in an upcoming episode, I did talk about once having a veruca, so there's that. And actually, that's been quite important for me, but also, like, I just, I don't like this picture that I've painted of myself. I don't feel like it accurately portrays me, because actually, the truth is, I'm terrified of smelling. Like, my cleanliness is actually, I don't know where it's come from. I've got a weird thing about, like,

I really enjoy being, like, not even enjoy it. I need to be clean. And I feel like I haven't accurately portrayed that part of myself. I think I've painted a false picture. Not for, I mean, partly, I just don't think I've told the whole story and I need to write that wrong. It's less of that. Because that's not dirty. That's just like, I don't know, like bad. It's just an infection. It's the flies landing on you that gets me. Like, why are they landing on you. I know. And what I don't like is that we dedicated loads of time to working out why they're why. And I just wish we haven't done that. I wish we could have been like, oh, weird flies. And just left it. But instead we were like, oh, maybe it's because you don't wash your hair. Or maybe it's because you're breastfeeding. Or maybe it's because your toenails infected. Or maybe maybe. And I wish we hadn't done that. And I wish we hadn't done that. Because it's not me, it's them. It lives on the internet in perpetuity. I just wish we had. I just wish we had. We didn't. I just wish we had.

Okay. Let it go. Okay. That's my awkward. Yeah. Okay. Well, I can't wait for the next installment of Snogged Mary Kill. Well, that's going to be stunning.

We have a guess this week, as we do every other week. Fuck, I'm so awkward doing that. Our guess this week, Millie Pickles, the one and only. Absolutely legend. For so long. So long. Yeah, we've talked about having Millie on, for ages and ages, we both absolutely love following her.

And then we saw, well, you'll hear about it, but she did the most epic challenge a month ago. And when we saw it, we were like, get that girl in the studio immediately. And fortuitously, she agreed. Here's Millie, enjoy. Hello. Hello.

Welcome world record holder to the studio. How you doing? Grats. I'm really good. I'm great. What an intro, I love it. We're here today, having just won, no, become, have set the world record. Do you win a world record?

Yeah. Well, I felt like if it was a Guinness World Record and they were there recording it, then maybe. Would it be a Guinness World Record? Yeah, well, yeah. Because I'm technically a world record holder because I'm the first amputee to ever complete the world's steepest, toughest race, 400 meters. So right now I'm the record holder. And then if I keep doing it and amputees come in, if I've got the best time, then I guess I'm still a record holder.

So with the Guinness Book of Records, would you go in it right now? No, because they have to be there to, like, check it and they have to, yeah, they have to be there. So when people go in it for, like, having the longest fingernails in the world, like, someone's checked for that. Yeah. What? Yeah. They have to be there to check. What? Yeah.

I mean, obviously, right? No, but also, like, how much knows it? I'm just going to write in and be like, my fingernails are the longest in the world. Great. You're in the book. You know, how did you know? Like, what happens if, like, you're the fastest? Like, okay, fine, fine, fine. But what if like NASA are going to space

and they're going to be like, this is going to be like the fastest rocket? Oh, let's just call the guys from the book to come down. Like, surely they'd trust that. Because you'd lie otherwise. But even on content online, even though I did do it, somebody could pretend that they did it, just film bits of it and be like, oh, I did it. So they have to check.

So would you do it again and invite the people from the book to come and watch? Oh, I mean, yeah. I'm doing it next year 100%, so I will invite them. You. You heard it here for. Can you explain it? So it's called the Red Bull 400. Yeah.

So essentially, I hadn't heard of it until three weeks prior. And Red Bull contacted me. Three weeks? Three weeks. I had no idea. And they contacted me and said, would you be interested in this? And they sent me a video. And I saw this hill.

And I was like, oh, my God. Can I even do this? But because after my accident, I just really wanted to start living my life because it was so nearly taken from me. I've become kind of like a yes man to everything. So I was like, yeah, okay. And I just thought, I'll deal with it. at the time. But, yeah, so it's the steepest, toughest, 400-meter race in the world.

And it's a ski jump, which you just run up, essentially. And the ski jump is where they hold the Olympics and, like, World Skiing Cup. So, yeah, it's crazy. It sounds awful. It literally sounds horrendous. You run up as horrendous as well. Yeah. On your vlogs and on your videos, I was like, it looks awful.

Like, horrendous. You know, it's funny, though, when you look at it, you can see the green grass. but people think that's the end and then there's more at the top which goes ridiculously steep and it goes up to 78 degree incline so it's so steep and it's so long

and it's actually more of endurance because yeah it was 400 metres but it took me 17 minutes 26 seconds it would take me my whole life 17 minutes 26 seconds I think it would take me that long just to do 400 metres at a 0% gradient

to be honest yeah it does take me like 23 minutes to walk a mile so we're not far off that. That's crazy. Yeah, it was wild. It really was. Were you scared of falling back down the hill?

Weirdly, no. I think my character, even with my accident, when I found out what was like happening all the surgeries and all the risks, nothing in me was worrying about what was going to happen. I just thought,

I'm just going to block it out. So I didn't actually think about falling down, weirdly. And I think as well, you don't fall down because it's so steep that you go on all fours. And I think that saves you.

Because my foot was slipping so yeah you could but no one no one ever has so no no I would that would be an absolute car crash I'd set a record honestly it'd be like bowling

everyone just get knocked out yeah oh yeah of course I've got the right shoes for that you come prepared we love it if you don't mind would you mind telling us a little bit about the journey like rewinding you yeah of course to your accident and getting you from there to what you've just done

because you put up an amazing video last night on the day of recording where it was like it maybe I watched it like four times Alex was like what is that audio because it was like it was amazing it was you doing the climb and then it was hardcore music and then the music stopped and went to like soft piano and it's you in your rehab like yeah and it was really emotional seeing how far you've come thank you so would you be able to tell us a little bit about like that journey way started. Yeah, of course. So I was 20 years old at the time and I was working at Chelsea Football Club in marketing on my internship because I was at uni studying marketing at Bournemouth. And it's so

funny because when I got the job, I was so excited. I was like, oh my God. Like this is like my dream job and it's so funny because I think if I knew back then what was going to happen to me, crazy. But yeah, I was two months in and I had an accident. I got electrocuted and I was essentially fighting for my life and my legs. It is a miracle that I'm alive. So I was in hospital for two and a half months. I went to three different hospitals. I had over 25 surgeries because when you're internally burning, you internally burn for weeks.

So it felt like I was being electrocuted for about three weeks. Oh my gosh. Yeah, it was not pleasant. Did not realize that. No, because your muscles are burning essentially. So they kept having to do debridement, which is where they take away dead muscle because it just kept on burning. So, yeah, it was not great.

and I had like loads of infections, fevers. It was a tough time. But I just remember all the surgeons came into my room about two weeks later and they said, you know, we've been weighing up the pros and cons of keeping a leg, not keeping a leg, and then they were listing them all to me. And I just remember interrupted them and I was like, I'm so sorry, but I've seen my leg. It's in a really bad way. I know it needs to go because I just didn't want to spend my whole entire time for the next two years

coming in out of hospital fighting for something that was quite clearly dead. and I just wanted to get back to my life. So he was like, you're sure you're making the right decision? I was like, yeah, I think so. Wow. Yeah, it was a lot. But the thing is, when they all left the room, I find it crazy to the day how I reacted

because I had a few tears. There wasn't many at all. And I turned to my parents and I said, well, at least I can be in the Paralympics now. And that was genuinely the first thing I said. Wow. Yeah. Because I was like, what can I do now that I couldn't do before?

and it was like my brain was trying to quickly think and that's what I came up with so yeah and I think I had that mentality a lot throughout hospital so I didn't ever really think why me why is this happening to me I just kind of was like what can I do so I started learning Spanish and I was reading

I'd say the main negative thing that I felt was nobody would fancy me now which it's crazy to think because you know I was a young girl and I mean I'm sure there are people that wouldn't fancy me but I just start to think really negatively about that and I felt really insecure but then I just thought to

myself well if if people think that I don't really want to know them anyway right because they're clearly not a good person so um yeah anyway so I when I came out of hospital two and a half months later um I got a prosthetic leg within a month and I'm a very determined person so I was very good at walking again and running and trying to do all these things um so I came out of physio really quickly and I returned to work at Chelsea within two months. So it's four months. Yeah. Your face. Wow. What? Yeah. Because I thought to myself, this is an internship. I don't want to miss out on this opportunity because it's incredible. So I need to get back and work and get as much valuable information and knowledge as I can to set me up for my career. So yeah, I returned within two months

and I was going in a few days and they're really flexible, let me work from home. So I was doing the working from home thing like way before. lockdown but um yeah so i did that and then i always like had a goal so i i was like okay i'm gonna learn to walk and then i started to learn to dj and in the meantime i'd probably sound crazy don't i because i started to learn to dj and then i was um doing marketing courses and there was so much that i was just trying to focus my energy and time on rather than thinking like negatively which i did i was concerned is it going to affect me one day am i i i'm i'm am I just hiding how I'm truly feeling by doing all these other things to shut

to my brain? So I had like three therapists because I was really wanted to make sure that I am actually okay. And even to this day, six years later, I am genuinely okay. And I think it's just because I know how it could have been. And I'm so great, I don't want to cry. I can feel it coming. I know what it could have been. Honestly, I'm such an emotional wrecked everything at the moment. It makes me cry because, um,

It's actually like the Red Bull thing. It makes me realize how far I've come. And like, that means a lot to me. You've come so far. It's unbelievable. Yeah. And it feels like you just took something that is so, that could have,

and has completely changed your life. But I think you've taken something that maybe could have ruined your life and just allowed it to change your life. Yeah. It's just a really remarkable. attitude that you've had towards this towards what happened to you?

Yeah. I'm such a forward thinker. I don't always stop and reflect so I do occasionally but this is like a huge thing that's like well okay really reflect now and I think that's why I keep crying but yeah as I was saying I know what it could have been

and I know I'm so lucky to be alive and originally I was going to lose both my legs right at the top so the fact that my surgeons managed to save half, well, but one leg and half of the other. And yeah, I've got, you know, I've got three toes on my human foot. I've got various, like, scars and injuries in my body. But to me, that's nothing in comparison to not being here. So I just really felt like I learned the value of life and I just wanted to live it,

which is why I've pushed myself and I've done all the things that I've done. Even though it might seem like, you know, is it going to catch up with me? I've really done the work and it hasn't. And I don't know why. But I think that's why I think because I'm so lucky to be here, you know. Has that always been your mentality? Have you always been like that kind of person of, for lack of a better term, like glass half full, you know, like, have you always been like that or was it the accident that flipped something in you? So I'm very lucky that I've never ever like struggled with mental health my whole entire life.

And I think that's probably because of my upbringing as well. like the way I've been brought up I'm the youngest of four so I've always you know dealt with like big brothers scrappy yeah scrappy and people at school being mean to me or whatever so I've always had very thick skin

I would never have even been aware or self-wear enough to know if I had you know my glass empty or full but I think my accident really showed me how my mind works and how positive I actually am and that's why I'm so glad my accident happened and I would never go back in time and change it

because I've learned so much about myself. So, yeah, I think it was always innate within me, but this has just shown me how much. So you wouldn't change it? No way. Oh, my God. No. You said they were originally going to remove both your leg?

When you gave them, they'd go ahead to be like, yeah, this isn't, and they said, are you sure? Was that to remove one or was that both? Yeah, that's a really good question. No one's ever asked me that in six years. So that's a good question. So, within the two weeks of them doing deprivement, I mentally prepared myself. I was like, I'm in so much pain, I can feel this.

I even said to my mom if they have to amputate my leg, I don't care. I'm in that much pain. And so when they were doing all of that for the two weeks, that's when they were aware, okay, one's responding really well. We might not need to amputate that, but the other one is not great. So when I had that conversation with them, it was about the one leg. And I had no idea whether amputation would be if it was through the knee, a balcony below.

But yeah, and my surgery was like, it's quite funny, my surgery was 10 hours long and this is what I mean about when there were risks and they were telling me what could happen. That was not even on my radar. When he told me it was a 10 hour surgery, I said to my surgeon, I went, God, that's a really long shift, I hope you get a break.

That was genuinely my reaction. And he laughed and he was like, Millie there's like natural pauses when the surgery, I'll have a break. Like my brain wasn't even like thinking about the negativity because for me why worry about something twice if it's going to happen just worry about it then

because then you're just making yourself have unnecessary stress so it was more like a jolly for me which sounds crazy I always thought it's the surgeons that have to be stressed not you you'd still lie there

and you're asleep right exactly it's great you'd hope yeah god yeah that's nothing I never thought about that either like not you know but when I was in hospital I loved going to surgery

people were wishing me luck and I thought this is great for me I'm enjoying it because I was in a side room on my own. Obviously, my family visited me every day because they're incredible. But I was always on my own and it was quite boring. So any time I went down to the fourth floor, which is where all the surgeries took place, it was amazing. Because I'd be wheeled out of my bed.

People would be waving like, bye, Millie, good luck. I'd be getting to see different people. I'd go downstairs. I'd see the anaesthetist. And because I was in the hospital for so long, I became like good pals with them. So it was like, oh, how are you? How was your holiday?

Like it became an exciting thing for me So when I left hospital in the end I actually cried because it was my second home And I didn't want to leave Because you were out for a while You left, what, two and a half months did you say? That's a long time That is a long time

Lived in London rent free And got fed Yeah, it's great And I didn't realize that you keep on being Electricated Yeah, internally burning I would have thought they'd have found something to stop that or like gather the electric

I don't know I don't know how it works but that's horrendous because 37% of my body was burnt so it was a lot Do you have any lasting impact beyond your leg from the accident now? It's funny because yes but it's a positive one

I always think how did my accident affect me and obviously physically it did but mentally it's I've always been very driven but it's increased it tenfold and that hence I just want to do everything and live my life to the max and I think that's an incredible thing but I think it also can be negative at the same time

because I'm always pushing myself and it's important to sit back, relax sometimes I've burnt out numerous times because I'm always like go go go and I think obviously it's great to achieve and do these amazing things in life but also there's so much like amazing simplicity There's so much amazement in simplicity with, you know, just doing nothing, reading, seeing your friends.

So lately I've been really trying to get a good balance with that. So it's funny because externally that looks like a really positive thing, but I think it's also could be negative. Yeah. You seem very self-aware, though, of the fact that you could be, for lack of a bit of term, running away from your feelings. Yeah. Which would be completely fair enough if you did want to do that as well. But like... It's because I don't want to do that.

because I, the thought of something catching up on me. Yeah. Because, yeah, a lot of my accident, my brain's pretty fragmented. Like, I remember bits. I don't remember bits. And so I don't know fully what happened to me. And so that could eat me up and I could be like, what on earth? Why have I lost my leg?

I don't really truly know. And so that could, yeah, that could be a struggle. But then with that, I just think, okay, well, if I'm not meant to know, I'm not meant to know. And if I did know, then it'd probably be a worse situation. It's an incredible attitude you have, though. I know that's amazing. To just make peace with it. Yeah.

To make peace with not knowing as well. Yeah. Because I, yeah, I don't know. So what's me stressing about I'm not knowing going to do. How do your family take that? Like, I don't know if, like, I'm such a nosy person. If it were my, like someone that I was really close to, I guess maybe I'd want to like push for answers and push for, I don't know.

Are your family like that? Oh, 100%. When I write a book one day, write all about that but my mum is just incredible. It's actually on the radio yesterday, big in her up, she got emotional and now she'll get emotional with this. But yeah my mum is incredible and she is an

absolute fighter and I definitely get a lot of the way that I am from my mum and she was really fighting to find out what happened and unfortunately we tried but it wasn't successful and so I actually

my mum struggled more than I did because obviously it's her baby and she said if I could give you my leg, I would. I'd rather be the one. And so she wanted peace with accepting what had happened because I guess she wants justice for her child right, but you know I'm fine and I think that helps her now

because that gives her peace in her own way. How do you, because you don't really talk about your accident and why should you? Yeah. But how do people react to that? Is it an annoying? Because when you share anything about yourself on the internet, like people

want to know everything about it. There's a lot of like trauma porn and like there's a lot people are just fucking nosy as well like do you did that come up a lot i mean i imagine you just spend your whole life of people going how did you lose your leg oh yeah i all the time um in my dms comments all the time i get it and i understand why but it's when people are commenting and then other people are commenting back and a because i haven't said they're trying to come up with their own solution in their mind of what's happened then it's like some investigation threads in my comments and then they're people making up all these different things and I just read it and I think you're all

like what you're doing you're so wrong and I actually saw a comment the other day which someone said I would have followed you but because you're not transparent and tell us what happened to you I'm not going to follow you and I was just like what but even but even I can do what I want like if I don't want to share I don't have to share yeah so it's crazy that people think that but those we are so entitled oh my god yeah I'm not trying I know I was like sorry yeah sorry do you want to just know every single deepest thought I've ever had everything they'll ever happened to you. But if I did, they'd say stop oversharing, no one cares.

Yeah. So, you're not talking about you're more than just that. Yeah, exactly. Oh my God. So, yeah, I'm, again, I don't really care. I just, they don't know me. I take that really well. And to be honest, a lot of the time, majority of the time,

it's really positive and I'm so grateful that it is. Yeah. Is it a conscious decision to keep details, you know, to not share details in order to, like, protect yourself? Not even, actually. I guess like a small part of it, but I do want to share it at some point, and I think the best way, because I love to write, and I think the best way is in a book, I think social media could get a bit out of hand because it's such a complicated, from what I do know, it's very complicated, it doesn't really make sense, story. So I think the best way is just to write it down. Yeah, it's definitely. Yeah. Yeah, you do a book. Yeah, I really do. So, yeah, I will. It's just when the time's right and. to honest, in hospital I journaled every single day

and I was reading through I've literally got a whole like one of A4 documents I typed up afterwards of everything that had happened and memories and I just really want to share that with people because I had no idea that I'd be in this position or I would even write a book but I'm so glad that I have that

but yeah and when you're out and about as well I mean is that like I don't know how are people with you know they know they're strangers oh my gosh it actually blows my mind It's crazy. So I get it all the time

where people will come up to me and knock on my car door if I'm parked and disabled and tell me I'm not allowed to park there. It's just because I'm young that people assume and I'm like, no. This is the thing,

I'm very glad that I'm confident because when they do that and I say, no, I've got prosthetic leg or whatever, which I shouldn't have to do and I always think about people with invisible disabilities that they can't prove

so then it makes you feel really rubbish. But the satisfaction that I get when I do show and they're like oh god and I'm like that's why you should never ever ask because you don't know what someone's going through but another example recently I was walking along with a boyfriend to oval station and um this guy my leg was on show I was in shorts it's hot this guy ran up after me and he was like oh excuse me and the energy was I thought that I'd potentially drop something and he was helping me pick it up and considering I get this all the time the fact that I wasn't picking up on what he was going to ask. But my boyfriend said he was really aware. And we turned around and the guy was like, oh, excuse me, like, can I just ask what happened to you? You are absolutely kidding me. No.

I get it all the time. And my boyfriend was like, we really mind that actually and just grabbed me. He reacted so quickly because sometimes I'm in a state of shock. Yeah. Like sometimes I'm good. Sometimes I can't. And also, if I'm really struggling, you have no idea how I'm feeling and that could ruin my day. That could have been the first time I've ever worn short sense.

I'm insecure and you've just made me feel even worse. And it's even like going up to someone and being like, why do you have hair like that? Like, what? Why are you questioning someone? Why are you singling them out? Like, what on earth? What, for what benefit is that? Just to make you, you know, be satisfied from your nosiness.

Literally. I'm absolutely stunned. So he was just curious. Curious. But then it's like, okay, he tried to justify himself afterwards and I don't even know what he said. but if they do it's like what what makes you think that's okay honestly blows my mind and that's not the first time I get it a lot yeah it's wild that people think then they can just ask that

I don't think there is any justification for that like there couldn't be a justification for running up to you in the street in the street asking what happened to your leg it wasn't even like you're walking past me it was like you're running after me but even when I just came up hospital I was in a shopping centre first time in my wheelchair with my brother and this lady was like, oh, I like your glasses. But, no, it was a way in to ask me what happened because straight away, she went, what happened to you after?

I was like, the human condition is actually fucked. We are so nosy, it's really not all right. But I think maybe because I haven't on the show, people think they can. I guess if women are wearing like short shorts, they think they can, like, woolfusset or whatever, but no. If you think maybe being a young woman as well, like, if that, I don't know, I don't know,

because I think often like young women in sport I'm quite aware of this like actually what my mum said in an interview recently we have my mum on because she does the Ironman Triathlon such a little tank but she said the way that she gets spoken to so much is so condescending yeah just there are some environments that I think people feel that they have permission to speak on behalf of

or speak rudely to young women in a way that they wouldn't necessarily speak to that I don't know if that's the case but I don't know if maybe just the way that you hold yourself and live your life is so confident and like, yeah, there's something that people need to work that out in their heads. Yeah, they think it's okay. Yeah. Which I can understand that, but also just, I think it's common decency to just know.

To back off. Yeah. But you know, what you're just saying, people about being condescending, people come up to me, for example, on the gym, and they're like, can I just say what you're doing is amazing? And they even say, I don't mean to be condescending, patronising. I just want to let you know that I think you're great, you know, inspire, motivate me. And it's interesting because speaking to other disabled people, that is really, some people hate it, some people like it, some people don't mind.

Because in a way, it's like you're singling me out again and you're making me feel different. I am literally just here in the gym, like just like you. Stop saying I'm an inspiration, stop, because they want to feel part of society, not excluded. and I completely understand that but then I also on the flip side think people don't mean any harm if you've motivated them then great and I don't actually mind it

but that's also really interesting because some people view that as you know patronising but I guess it's different for everyone is it a positive thing for you or is it just like you're indifferent for me I want to be part of society and I think that's important and that's why I share everything because I think people need the awareness and to know

but at the same time it is hard for me so people say like congrats. I'm like, thank you because I'm actually really trying. So I appreciate the recognition. Yeah. So, yeah. But I mean everybody's, just because you're all, you and other people are also disabled, it doesn't mean that you're all the same just because you're disabled. Yeah. That's completely fair enough that you do all have different. Even every amputee is so different. Like with my leg, I can't feel too much. So if somebody's touching my leg, anything external, I can't feel it. I can only feel really internally with phantom limb pain and things

like that. So with my prosthetic, I don't know I'm in really bad pain until it's too late and I end up in hospital again. So I go from zero to 100, whereas other amputees might have pain from their prosthetic because it's always bashing. And there's so many different elements that go into being an amputee if you're above, below, everything like that, if you've got a fake knee. So yeah, we're all so different. Our experience is so different. And I think that's really important for people to know. And everyone feels different, differently. Well, you're worried about that going into the Red Bull 400 then if you can't feel an injury

were you concerned that there was going to be one without you knowing? Yeah definitely before I was like putting talcum powder on my leg deodorant you know covering it all up taking it off I'm I have to be really proactive with it because if I'm not then it's too late so whilst I was doing it

there are so many things that I just thought I have no idea because it gets ridiculously hot so I thought it might slip and fall off which would be car crash because of imagine a prosthetic leg rolling down I can move a lap Yeah

and a kettle Yeah like painful and then I thought how would I finish and it loves to twist around a lot and yeah

I had no idea what to expect and with it being steep I didn't know if I'd be able to actually go up the whole way because when I practiced

with my running blade and I was trying to see what was better the running blade or the prosthetic leg the walking one the running blade you have to push into it

to propel up you forwards and because it's so steep you can't push into the blade so I was dragging it along and so I just thought is that what's going to happen with my walking leg when it gets so steep and it did a few times to be fair I was more dragging it along than anything but um I was luckily okay but it was scary because I avoid rocks I avoid hills I'm always having to hold on to people even with the smallest gradient in case I fall and there I was going into danger zone and I just thought I've never ever been tested like this in my entire life. I have no idea what to expect and I'm trying to take on the balls. It's race. Three weeks notice. Yeah and six days of training. And I hadn't

walked for three months this year and I because of that I'd hardly trained and I'd gained like a stone. I wasn't strong. So I just thought what earth? Why am I doing this? But I just focused on my mind and I just thought that's going to carry me through because my mind's more important. And it did. So I'm very happy about that. Honestly, your mind's amazing. We all need a bit of your mind. I remember the first time you went running with your blade. Because it was like, was that?

I mean, I remember, like, fully on this time. Yeah. That's a long time. Yeah. So what's, when you came out of rehab, like, obviously you have to relearn how to walk. Yeah. And I'm guessing dry. Like, I mean, yeah, you have to do, like, you have to do, like,

Like, you have to learn everything again. What was the, what was the point? Was it, did you keep in your head the Paralympic for, like, to get back to exercise? Was that the like, immediate goal was exercise? So, no, this is an interesting one. I think with how I am on social media, people will probably think that I've been like this forever, and I actually haven't. So I, I've always been very sporty when I was younger, and I literally did every sport under the sun. And then I always wanted to go to the gym, but I was so scared to go to the gym.

And I've always done team sports, doing that on my own, having no idea what to do. It took me years to join. My friends would go and I still wouldn't go. And then I finally plucked up the courage the night before my accident, coincidentally, went to a gym class and I was so proud of myself. And then the night before. Because I broke up my ex and I was like, you know, come back season. I'm going to get really good body. No, I ended up losing my leg the next day.

Oh, my God. night before. Yeah. The thing is I've shared that online and people think my accident was related to the gym but it wasn't. But yeah, the very next day. I was like, you can't write it.

But so yeah, I then had to go to the gym afterwards because I was so weak I couldn't do anything and I need to be strong to figure out how to walk. So I re-entered the gym feeling even more insecure, scared, vulnerable. I'm in a wheelchair and it was scary. but my goal was to just be a gym girl

and I just really wanted to do that but the thing is I obviously was really immobile for so long I got into really bad eating habits because when I was in hospital I couldn't eat for like properly for two weeks at the beginning so I lost a lot of weight and I was told I need to eat and eat and I really went with that

I was having Subways, McDonald's Star Wars every single day and then I just continued that and you know got binge eating disorder and so I was getting bigger and bigger and I lost my leg obviously and then I like over half of my hair fell out due to trauma um and so when I looked in the mirror it's really weird I I saw myself but also didn't at the same time because externally I looked completely different to who I remember but inside I was still the same

milly so I didn't feel any type of way to the person that I saw in the mirror because I still saw myself from my mental mind it was really yeah it's really strange Because I don't know how I did that. And I wish I knew to share some tips. But yeah, I think my accident made me realize how strong mentally I am. And then physically, obviously, it took a loss because I lost my leg and everything like that. And so it was like I was not aligned, which I find interesting because you know how it's like your mind speaks to like first before your body. But in that situation, actually like it kind of.

wasn't that, but it was at the same time. I don't know, basically. It's quite confusing for me to try and figure out because I've tried to. But anyway, I then gained so much weight, then stopped going to the gym because I went back to university and I was just so focused on getting a first because I thought I didn't nearly die to not get a first. So I really went in on that and I wasn't exercising at all then. So my walking wasn't too great, but I was walking so I was happy. So there was like a long period of time where I didn't actually exercise and I wasn't, I wasn't, you know, in the place that I am now. And I think it really pushed me to the point where I was like, okay, I am so fed up of like not moving or not feeling as good as I did before because,

you know, I'm just eating loads of rubbish foods. You know, I'd be in my bedroom, my own and my house notes would come in and try and take food away from me and I was just like, no. And I'd have like two full packs of pringle tubs and like a whole pack of like you know the animal biscuits and like two family bags of minstrels mortisers and I would demolish that and no joke less than five minutes and so it was that was bad in a way but I was still really happy it's so yeah it's strange but um it just got to a point after I finished university got my first and I just thought okay this is I need to take control of my life now I get back into the gym and do things and so that's when I started to lose the weight from going to the gym because I fell in love with

that and I started to become the gym girl that I always wanted to be and I started working on mindfulness, visualization, you know, affirmations and then I got a job again at Chelsea Football Club and so it almost felt like I started to really delve deep into who I was even more which enabled me to cope better and then literally after that within six months became a gym shot athlete, started like posting on social media so it all happened pretty quickly so I feel like for the past six years I have always been very happy mentally strong my fitness wasn't always there

I had a little blip and you know my binge eating disorder but it was all about I was still aware of it so I just took control of it so I was like I could let this keep going on forever and ever but I need to stop realize what I actually want figure it out and push and take action

otherwise I will just continue down this path of like binge eating and Not exercising. I mean, your mind is incredible. Like, you're an actual powerhouse. That is amazing. Because all of that happened as well when you were really young. You were like 20.

Yeah. I mean, I couldn't cope with life at 20 without this traumatic incident. You know, never mind with this. Like, that's a lot to battle through. Yeah. At a time when you're already feeling quite vulnerable and, you know, insecure. Yeah. did you feel and you said you know you were worried about guys not fancying you or not being fanciable

afterwards and that is a time when we are like really focused on you know like attracting people I imagine it was more of a journey than just you know than just talking to yourself and being like well I don't want to know them anyway was that quite a difficult thing to when you came out of hospital and like you're you know you're speaking to guys and it's different yeah it's interesting because I guess I look different right but inside I was still me and um I thought I'm going to cry again but it's not because it's just because I don't think I've ever shared this before I'm about to say oh um we've still got tissue even though I look different yeah even though I looked different I still felt the same so I actually noticed a difference in how guys would

treat me from before to afterwards um you know someone once said to me like if I met you because they met me before I lost my leg they're like if I met you after I wouldn't give you a chance and it's not very nice things and so weirdly I was just thought well that's very nice of you thank you for that no I know but that's what the perspective of me thinking okay well if you're going to be like that I don't want you anyway

so I saw it as like a really good way to back people away and I hate fakeness I'm not that sort of person so if that's going to help cut out all the rubbish people that was great for me but I yeah I felt like boys treated me differently for a short while but I just didn't care

because my focus was not them at all I was just wanting to live my life have fun get my first was really learning to walk and so I was single for four years and I just didn't want to be with anyone and I think that was really needed because I was able to really dig deep within myself

and then my first boyfriend after that he was like really lovely so he was really really really nice and accepting and showed me, I guess, that I can still be loved. But my boyfriend now is the absolute best for us in the world. And he looks after me unbelievably. So, yeah, it's all good. It's all good.

But, yeah, I guess it was rough. He looks great. You guys look like you've got a really cool relationship. He did the Rebel 400 with you, didn't he? Yeah, he did. So that was so much fun. The thing is, because I can't walk and I'm doing all these, like, difficult things. He is there.

He will do, like, he will hold me, he will carry me. He will, he's just incredible like that. And I was so glad I had him with the Rebel 400 because he was literally my physical and emotional support there. Although he did do it before me because it was men's first and then women's. And so I went up to see him at the top of the ski lift. I can laugh about it now, but it was not funny at the time

because I thought, oh, he'll give me all these tips. This is great. And I went to the top. And I was already crying on the ski lift up because I was like, whoa, this is really emotional. I can't believe I'm about to do this. And I got to the top and I saw him. And I was like, oh my God, because he is so strong physically and mentally, right?

Yeah. He could not speak. He was on the floor struggling. Like, he couldn't even drink his drink. And I'm looking at him thinking, oh, my God. You're the poster boy. Yeah. What happened?

I was like, what earth am I about to do? And it made it a trillion times worse because I just thought, if you're like this, what am I going to be like? So then I was crying even more. I literally contained my emotions. And I, it was, yeah, it was crazy. Bless him. He's probably trying to really hold it together for you. It's fine.

It's great. It's like a mogul. You'll be fine. Yeah, but for like 30 minutes, I was just like sobbing, crying. Oh my God, bless you. So I had to like really get into like focus mode. And then I walked into a glass door, broke my sunglasses. No.

Yeah. I was like, no. And then I went to the start line, realized I forgot my number, which was like a five-minute walkway. And the race was starting in like two minutes. So it was all very frantic. didn't really warm up, got to the line and they were like on those big speaker Millie Pickles, being the first time you'd see

then I was there like this, everyone's staring at me and aside I was like, what's going on? And was he there to meet you at the top? Yes, he was, yeah, yeah, yeah, here he was. He was actually running with me the last bit and you can hear him shouting and yeah, it's very sweet. The videos are so sweet. Good chills every time I think for what you've just done

it's so cool. I can't believe it. What was it like just rewarning again going back to the gym, when you went back after getting your first and coming out of the side of the way, thank you. Very cool.

Yeah, and coming out the other side of your binge eating, what was it like going to the gym? Did you go on your own? Like, what was it? Because if you were intimidated to go before by yourself and you'd only been once before, what was it like, and knowing as well, people are making comments saying, you know,

and they make comments now saying congratulations or, you know, thanks for being here. Like, did you feel that there were a lot of eyes on you at the beginning when you were going in? Yes. Yes, definitely. It's not nice. There was times I just left the gym

because I just felt like people were staring at me and I hated that. And I mean, a majority of the time people are just looking at themselves but I think me in a wheelchair, I stick out. So it wasn't pleasant and I just would leave if I felt too uncomfortable. But what really helped me is

so I've had two in-person PTs. I became friends with a P.T. in the gym which really helped. And then I also had online coaches. So, and then I was researching online because I was really trying to find stuff at amputees, which actually there wasn't anything online. And so that's why I resorted to PTs because I thought hopefully they can adapt exercises. So I would go to private gyms with them first to build up my confidence.

And then about a year in, I decided, okay, I said in the initial moments I want to get to the Paralympics. I need to start doing something about it. So I got a running coach. So I was, I had a lot of. of people helping me essentially and I did running for two years which I can talk about in a minute but um I think yeah having coaches really helps because it got me to a point of confidence that then I went into the gym and I wasn't so insecure because I actually understood what I was doing I understood form and that confidence made my narrative in my mind switch to okay they're staring

at me but they might be thinking she's got great form yeah you know she's got a fake like but she's still doing form well if you've seen that video that's just gone viral like it's a trend that's just gone viral and it's so nice and it's like I'm going to butcher explaining it it because it's really hard to explain one of these things like a girl's sitting there and it's like she's saying oh god I wish I hadn't worn the shorts like I felt really self-conscious and then it's another girl looking at her being like god I wish I'd been brave enough and it's like the way that we feel in ourselves is so different to like the way that the way that we assume we're being perceived is so often not the way that we are because actually now you're being told you're

inspiring me like thank you for being here which is probably how people were perceiving you all along but you won't have felt like that yeah just because it's what you're telling yourself is what you think other people are thinking yeah you have absolutely no idea no it's so I think if anything if you're thinking something negative the problem's with you so try and focus on your own mental state and working on that to try and flip the switch unless someone's obviously been really rude or whatever but if you have no idea what they're thinking but you're assuming you need to work on yourself yeah so then running running So, yeah, you went, you got, you became your gym girl, girl, gal.

Girl, gal, all of it. You became a gym gal. And then you started, you got a running coach. Yeah. What did running look like for you? It took a long time to run, I'll tell you that much. So I used to do running before and it was completely different, obviously, with the running blade. And I used to do 800 metres.

And so I thought, well, I'm literally having to relearn how to run here. So let me do something completely new. So I thought 100 meter sprints, right? So I got Why not? Most people are like Couch to 5K I will sprint

But also like another thing This is a bit of a side note But it's kind of scary Because unless I have a running blade on I can't really run that well or fast So I always get scared of somebody's like Near me or whatever Because if they come near me

I actually can't run away So I think that's a nice little thing With me doing sprints If I actually get good at running I can give it a go So it's more of like a protection thing Really as well but anyway

so sprinting sprinting is a good option if you want to learn how to run away I will smoke you in 100 metres try and take my bag you would so funny but yeah so it took me

six months to even run and technically I could have run straight away but my coach who was incredible is incredible she really was like you need to be good at form you need to do all the basics first because what I never realized before is everyone can just run to run

but to be able to run well and know how to run because there's an actual knack to it and to do it safely is a whole different thing and because being an amputee I'm more likely going to get injured so she was really strict with me

and made me do so many different drills and build up the strength of my leg and do plymetrics and stuff and so it got to six months until I was able to run which was long waiting but worth it because I'm probably going to butcher this now trying to explain

but when you're running with two legs your leg is able to go to like a 90 degree angle and you land it underneath you but with my leg it's more like a 180 angle because there's no strength in my quads and hamstrings that I'm able to pull it down to like a 90 degree angle to let it land underneath me so does that make sense?

Yeah yeah so for years like I was like a year and a half So dramatic, years, year and a half. It's more than a year. Yeah. I was trying to do that. And so that was my focus because that was so important for my form. And now I can do that without even thinking about it. And it just shows how much you have to really put in to do something,

which a lot of, I guess, two-legged people can just do with ease. Yeah, and take granted. So it was all about getting my flow to be really good and natural. And I did that. But I think what stopped me from wanting to do the Paralympics is one, I wasn't dedicated enough to spend my whole life on it. And two, I just felt this weird pressure. Like it became something that I didn't enjoy anymore

because I was trying to compete. And it was a huge thing for me to acknowledge that, okay, I'm not going to try and go to the Paralympics now. And to say it to my coach and to other people. Like, it took a lot for me to build up the courage to say that. And everyone was so understanding and accepting. And so, yeah, I stopped that. But people online as well would be like,

can't wait to see you in the Paralympics, even though I never actually officially. said that that's what I was trying to do. But I think when you're disabled and you're seen to be exercising in general, people assume that you want to be in the Paralympics just because you're exercising. But it's like...

She's actually nuts because if you saw me on a run, you wouldn't be like, oh, I can't see it at the Olympics. I know. I know. It's really not that easy. Jesus. I think it's because there's not enough... I mean, it's getting a lot better now,

but there's not too much awareness around disabled people and what people usually see is just the Paralympics. Yeah. So there needs to be more coverage across the board really and for it to be more normalised so I think that's why

and that's just society but hopefully it will change so sorry I have so many questions but looking at you now it's like you've got I mean not doing the Paralympics but you have just set a world record

and you've got a partner who like you're just totally in love with them it just like it seems like you're just totally thriving as you should do you ever have not moments of because I know you said you don't regret it at all, but like when you said before and you were explaining like that you never,

you felt very connected to Millie on the inside when you look at yourself in the mirror, has that stayed the whole way through? Have you maintained like a good relationship with the external Millie as well as the internal one? Yes, so even recently when I couldn't walk for three months, I gained weight. There's two things I want to say about this actually.

The first one, I gained weight and I couldn't, you know, do much and what I could have done I stopped doing but I'll get onto that in a minute so yeah I gained weight and I looked different in the mirror but I still love my body and what only made me feel rubbish what I realised

was when I put on clothes it didn't fit me that's what bothered me more than anything because then I felt bigger when actually naked I was like you go girl like I loved it so I just bought new clothes and I felt good again and it's crazy to me how much external things can make you feel a certain type

of way but internally I still was happy with my body so I'd say that's like the main thing really yeah you've got a very um logical brain

which strikes me like I don't think we can relate necessarily to that absolutely not I am very emotional too no but the fact that you've got the like foresight to be like it's the clothes here

and it sounds that you've been able to maintain that throughout the accident well this is just that bit and this is just that bit and that you can categorize stuff so well to look at like look at the bigger picture Yeah. I can't do that. Well, this is an example that I was about to say, which links directly to that.

So when I couldn't walk for three weeks, initially, I was like, this is great. I've got a knee scooter. This is so fun. I was whizzing around the gym. I was getting to machines quicker than other people. I thought, this is so fun. Loved it. And then my prosthesis said I can't use my knee scooter anymore because where the sore and my leg was, it was putting pressure on it.

And then I'm still waiting for a wheelchair from the care people. And I was only using crutches. and I couldn't even take my bins out they were sat in my kitchen for four days it's hard to go to the shops couldn't even get any milk because I don't have the hands for it and it was much more difficult

and I think as well newly living on my own not having much help I found a lot harder as well so it was like this new realisation and it almost took me back to oh my God like I am actually really really disabled because

with me doing all these things my prosthetic leg really does enable me so it was like a reality check in a way and I did struggle after two weeks and I would even say that for the first time my life it felt like

I understood depression because that was just alien to me I really and I just had no idea what it was like and it was just during that period and again it's quite funny actually

I was grateful in the end to experience that because it made me feel like I can understand people better and I was happy about that so like I always try to view in a... Every day to school day

yeah it is though but I was for about two and a bit weeks, I did not want to do anything. I wasn't going to the gym. I wasn't wanting to see anyone. My friends, I literally didn't want to do anything except still on the sofa. And it was getting to me. And I just thought, oh my God, I need to just figure this out right now because I was acting my emotions. And it's almost like when I'm doing those situations or I'm starting to feel myself go a certain type of way, I just stop and I question myself. So I just journaled what's

actually bothering me here. And I realized what was bothering me wasn't the fact that couldn't walk. It was the fact that I stopped living my life because I couldn't walk. So then I started pushing myself to do things and I do panel talks and I was, you know, seeing friends and whatnot, even though I did not want to. I met all of my, um, boyfriend's friends, about 20 of them and I was so petrified because I felt vulnerable and I just pushed myself and when I did that I actually felt so much better for it and then I would forget that I couldn't walk and I would be suggesting ideas that involve walking. I was like, oh wait, I can't walk. So it's just more about, you know, questioning yourself and figuring out what's that real issue here. And that

allowed me to be logical. So I did have a time where I was emotional. And then I just thought, okay, enough's enough. Let me take control of the situation. What can I do? So that's always how I navigate my emotional state, essentially. I want that. I want all of that. And like, I don't want to say like you're an inspiration because that feels so cliched and like, I don't know, patronising. But I don't mean it. in the sense that because you had the accident but all of it like the way like I want to live like that that's cool to me that's very inspiring to me I want to live with that mentality you can be the first person to roll down me yeah the Redfield 400 next year you'll be talking

about it I got a world record no but it's really cool and it's so it's so amazing to hear that and to hear how that has all played out for you and how your mind has played not just like a big part like all of it has played all of it's done all of that that's incredible you have such a strong mind never mind your body like you have such a strong amazing mind that's so cool

but that's why I think your mindset is so important and if you believe you can and you can do something you will like I'm a huge believer in that and I think with the Rebel 400 I believe that but it's also like a test again to myself a little chicken that I do believe in that and I can do that because it

yeah, it was just a reminder that I do believe and I believe and I act by that you know so I believe everyone can yeah

well yeah you can and you did in 17 minutes no less Jesus what's next what's next so I feel like

I've just got the challenge bug now I just want to do so much yeah I am because obviously I did the 100 metre

sprints I now am just like I really would love to do a marathon can you do long distance running so the long run as 3K so it's a long way to go but I'm going to build

that art. What's a marathon? 26 miles 42K. I can do that I can do that. Oh you're going to be great. I'm going to introduce you to my mum she's going to have you doing. It's going to be a lot yeah. You have to come back on in a year yes. And I'm excited to see what's happened. What's happened. Yeah. It's going to be huge. That'll be jokes. I can't wait. Amazing.

Well, we'll see you in a year. Yeah. Very excited. Yeah, you'll have your world record out. yes yeah I might have walked a mile by then thank you so much for coming on thank you for having me I've really enjoyed it thanks really it's good thank you

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