Should I Delete That? - Mythbusting with a midwife ... with Mamadinya!

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

Even though we have babies - it turns out, we don’t know *that* much about giving birth. So, today on the podcast - we’re talking to Mamadinya… the internet’s favourite’s midwife. Mamadinya came to the studio to answer everything you’ve always wanted to ask a midwife. What happens if you poo in a birthing pool? If you want to take your placenta home - do they give it to you in a bag? What happens during birth if you have hemorrhoids? Whether you have kids, want kids, are unsure, or if you're certain they're not for you - Mamadinya throws open the door onto something that most of us probably should know more about. If you're curious about life - this episode is for you.Follow Mamadinya on Instagram @MamadinyaFollow Mamadinya on TikTok @MamadinyaYou can find out more about Mama’s Classes here: https://www.mamasclasses.com/ Email us on [e-mail] us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That? is produced by Faye Lawrence Music by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We love babies, midwives, but midwifery literally means with women. So we love women a bit more than, you know, babies. A baby will never remember who held them, but our mother will always remember who held her. Hello, and welcome back to Should I Delete That? I'm Alex Light. You're a mess, is what you are. I'm M. Clarkson. I'm not even going to lie.

This is a disaster. This is our second attempt at this today. And I swear to God, I've just witnessed on the other side of a Zoom, I've got my AirPods in, and I could just hear Alex and Dave having this argument about where her airpods were. I felt like the child to the divorcing parents downstairs. I was just watching little videos on my phone while I could hear you two distantly bickering.

Obviously, he was right. He was like, retrain your steps, which I very much hate people telling me to do that. It's a stupidest thing in the world. It's the logical thing to do. It's nothing more annoying. I said that to Alex yesterday. I said, where in my air pose? He said, well, where did you last have them?

I thought, ditch it. I hate that. If I knew the answer to that, I wouldn't have bothered asking you the question in the first place. You see, that was my response to Dave. And actually, he was right because where did I last leave them in the kitchen? Where were they in the kitchen?

Anyway. It's by the bye. This is the second time we're recording this, and I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. For some reason, my mic did not record. So, good, bad. And awkward, let's get into it.

It's stunning. You know them already. The listeners don't. Should we start with my bad? Please. Yesterday, I went to Pizza Express, to Carlo out for lunch. And obviously I'm like massive now because I'm like eight months pregnant. And I went to the loo and I stood up from the loo and I turned around to flush the loo, pull my pants up, do, you know, the bits and bobbs.

Anyway, my butt cheeks scraped against the wall. Not scraped, that's a bad word. They grazed, gently, caressed. Scraved. They just, I just, my bum, my bum made contact with the people. or express cubicle wall and it was bad. It did it like stick? No, it was very brief.

The briefest, it skimmed, but it was enough. It was so vulnerable. It would be worse if it had like suction on, you know? You know, that like, if your bum was like a bit sweating and it like stuck to the wall a bit. That is an absolutely obscene mental image and I can't see any situation in which that would happen to me. I hope you washed afterwards. No, I didn't. I've been testing.

obviously I've got off to it. The stupid thing to say that's like asking me where I last used the headphones. Apologies. My bad is that someone that we know, she hasn't been on the podcast, someone that we know,

in our influencer circle-ish, I say that like we've got a circle, we don't really have a circle. We don't have a circle. No, we really don't. She's in the influencer world. She kind of does something similar to what we do.

She's unfollowed. I've been thinking. thinking about this all day. I can't act shocked because I was shocked when you told me this morning. Why? Has she and followed me? I don't know, but I have been thinking about it. Every time I've had a moment today, like, where I've, like, which admittedly I've not had many moments today, I've been on the go. But every time I've paused for reflection, I thought, I wonder what Al did. Have you come to any conclusions? No idea. No, because the fact, the worst thing is, is that you were in the DMs. You guys have been chatting. I can't stop

thinking about it chatting for a long time sharing in stories back and forth like we've got a history i think you brought her up the day and i was like oh that's really weird her stuff like she doesn't really interact with me anymore that's strange i'm just going to go on her profile and i was like you know you just have this feeling of like i don't think she follows me anymore sure enough go into a following list guess who's not there me if you hate me on instagram and you know me please please mute me i'm following they won't be listening to the point anyway Anyone that's at this level with me probably isn't there, but isn't really listening to the podcast.

But, oh my God, mute me, don't unfollow me. It's the worst. We had this, do you remember, I think we talked about it at the time, a couple of years ago when I was unfollowed by somebody who we know very well. And then we went away on a trip together. This is years ago.

And then she had to follow me back on the trip. I was like, we've been out for lunch. We were friends. Ignorance is bliss. mute me I will never know and then I'm not in your space I don't occupy any of your you don't have to be annoyed at me but also

I won't be triggered you don't have to break my heart you don't have to travel all over it can tell you my awkward yes I was on my way home and everyone was dressed up for Halloween loads of kids out on the road trick or treating and I was like oh my god they're trick or treating of course it's Halloween night

I'm going to go to the news agents and get loads of treats and I got loads of treats and I put them all in a metal bowl and I waited all night and not one person around my doorbell. I'm sad, but you didn't follow the rules. You didn't adhere to the signals.

You didn't do the dance. You didn't do the Halloween charade. You didn't have a pumpkin out. I didn't know this was a thing. I had no idea. Would you go, as a frightened youth, would you go to a house without, without the memorabilia. I would not. I would not because I would be terrified.

Well, I didn't realize there's the trick-or-treat etiquette. So yes, I probably would have done. I thought you just go from house to house to house. No, it's like swinging. You've, it's, it's, the pumpkin is the pineapple of the Halloween world. Uh-huh. You've to pop a pineapple out. I said, we have the opposite problem out. Alex, my Alex, went to town. Like, you've never seen decorations, literally. he is Phil Dunphy he honestly lost his mind for it this year

we've got skeletons climbing the wall not an exaggeration him and his best mate Ross were here it was actually wild because they were doing it last weekend and me and Arlo were just downstairs in the living room cool in our jets and we just heard this

from upstairs and then we watched one of the skeletons just shoot past the window and then clouted onto the ground and then obviously shatboo her up so she's barking like mad Adalo freaking out, and then there's just broken skeleton all over the floor. So they had to come back in, put it all back together, which was like the weirdest thing ever to watch. I'm sorry, but I can't, I can't brush, I can't brush over what you just said.

A Skellington? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A what, what, now? I know, I've always struggled with the word, and I don't know why. I mean, cute, that's very cute, a little skeleton. Loll, yeah, so Alex went to town, we had dry ice, or like, yeah, like, Yeah, like dry ice, like smoke, lit up. He uplit the house with smoke.

Oh my God. We had youths asking to take photos outside the house. And I just thought... I bet. Yeah, but we're going to be on Snapchat stories being like... These fuckers... These fuckers have spent too much money, come rob them. Come Vergel.

Come steal from these guys. A testament to the new area, though, because it's all still there. Which I'm very shocked by. It's been three days. Quite incredible. Seeing as like everything got stolen at my old house, including like my car. Famously. I'm pleasantly surprised.

Do you have an awkward for me or a good? You can give us a good. I think my good was Halloween in general. Although chaos at the house yesterday because we were talk of the town, I, we've just had it's been such a great week. Like we went to the pumpkin patch, you and me and our kids and our husbands. And we had so much fun. and then like last night we dressed up all over the hungry caterpillar and G and Sarah

and all our friends were here and it was just oh my God it was just I don't know I let so much of this stuff pass me by for years and now I'm kind of like back on it again and I got my ban and I'm just sliving I love it I wasn't invited to Halloween at yours no I know no that's noted that's okay we can move on you how would you how would you have done it with Tommy's bedtime I don't know some invitations are more it's like more painful to extend do you know what I mean because then you've got to do the dance like oh I can't no you you should no I well I'd love to but I haven't you know we don't live near each other I hear you I hear you wangling your way

out of this but okay yeah if that's all the people that were here last night were child free and a little bit drunk and I obviously left them at 930 to go and throw up and go to sleep I'm jealous. And I didn't think they left until, I don't know, midnight. Because they're, and delinquents. Oh, we've done, have you done your awkward? No, I haven't awkward too. I'll pretend like I didn't hear it the first time around.

Well, it's just as embarrassing to say the second time. Guys, I worked with three people recently, which obviously dream come true. Like, clabs like that, just genuinely, didn't think they existed. Certainly not for people like me. I had to fill my stories full of them. And obviously, like, you know, you want to impress, you want to impress all the brands you work with. But, like, some brands. you need to impress.

Like free people. Like free people. So I recorded my free people stories and then I was editing them without and I realized as I went to edit that my fucking flies were down for the whole time. Ew.

So I had to reshoot the next day and I had to explain to the lady, the PR lady, why they were late. If I were you, I would have come up with a different excuse because that is not, for free people, that is not acceptable. They are a call together.

brand and they deserve more being quite frank they deserve more than an excuse about your flies being down I agree I agree I can think of every single fashion influencer that I can think of all of them flies up people losers like me flies down you're good please before we get into the interview my good my good is podcast related we are writing we are we are deep we are balls deep in this body image series you didn't like balls deep I hated that I absolutely hated it

I got an image of you balls you like and like rusting it's a lot okay okay we are why am I thrusting what you didn't need to add that it's just

it's the image that I've got it's not great it's aggressive I don't like it we are tit deep in this body image better better that feels more on brand

it feels a bit chaotic that it feels a bit like oh it's dark but we don't mind it not that I'm just like thrusting away okay we are tit deep in this body image series and it is like some of the best work that we've done that I that I've I've done for a long time like I feel so excited about it and like we have lined up so many incredible guests like guess we're like oh we'll we won't get them but we'll try for them and like so like and they've agreed and people are

coming in yeah and they've agreed it's just it's it's so exciting and it's eight parts and it's just going to be so good. And I know that you guys are going to love listening to it. I just know. I'm backing us. Yeah, no, I am. But like, you know, this is, we've never done scripted content. We've never, we've never, we've never planned anything like this before. We've never written anything like this before. Yeah. Like, guys, surprise. Obviously, when you're a kid, particularly when you're millennial kids, we didn't grow up thinking we'd be influences because, one, didn't exist. And two, stupid job and everyone would laugh at us if we said it. So, the, fact like, you know, I grew, or we both grew up.

I didn't want you to be journalists and like, and so, and then obviously that was like the beginning of both of our careers. So it's really nice to be able to do this stuff again and like, do it on our own terms. It's kind of weird not having an editor, but like, like, just doing it ourselves. Yeah, but nice. Yeah, but it's weird, but I keep thinking like, oh, like someone will, someone will make that make sense. And then I'm like, no, I'm the person. But it's really great. Like, I'm really excited. So we're getting started next week on recording it because it's going to be up my mat leave season my mat leave this is what this is what's going out and i don't know it feels good doesn't it so good it feels good i feel alive i also feel like we've

just timed it well like i didn't i didn't do this pregnancy with the podcast in mind you know you weren't anywhere near front and center if i'm honest down oh rude at the time um but it's all lined up quite well isn't it it's lined up so well nailed it win for a treat so So, speaking of, speaking of making treats, all treats, yeah, this week's guest, we are myth-busting childbirth. Now, that feels like a necessary thing to do. Obviously, we know you guys aren't all parents, you aren't all mothers, we know a lot of you don't want to be, we know a lot of you're on the fence about it, we know a lot of you would like to be, you know, we're all over the place with this. Either way, there is something lacking from the conversation, and that's the practicality. of birth. So obviously I'm being targeted by the algorithm pretty heavily. But I've been seeing

Mama Dina's Instagram videos and TikTok videos for the last few weeks and months. And I am obsessed with her. She has taught me more about childbirth than I learned during actual childbirth of my first child. So we knew we had to get her on. And she was so good. We asked her all of our stupidest questions and yours as well. Oh, yes. Yeah, all the listener questions as well. It was like nothing was off the table, no topic off the table. And it was, she's brilliant at like demystifying and demedicalizing all of this childbirth.

And I think it was just, yeah, it was super interesting to listen to her whether you, like Em said, have kids, don't have kids, want them or not. It was just interesting. Super interesting. Let's get into it. Here is Liz, also known as Mama Dina. Hello. Hi. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. I'm raring to go. I'm so excited that you're here.

Thank you for having me. Well, I've got the email saying that you're pregnant. I was, oh, nice. I'm going to see pregnant ladies, even I see them every day. Well, thank you. No, honestly, I'm so excited. And I do think the algorithm's doing me a favor by showing me your content all the time. It knows what I need. You're a midwife. And you've been making content on Instagram and TikTok, I guess, yeah, kind of de-stigmatizing, really opening up. You've been such like a voice for women. It's just been so, I love watching your content so much. It's so empowering. Thank you so much. Thank you. I appreciate it.

But it's, you've built this incredible community. And it's such an interesting thing because we've talked about, like, well, we've both have babies now. And I've got a toddler and, I've got a toddler and I don't know what yours counts. I think he's still a baby. We've got little ones. We're kind of like in that stage. But we've been really careful with the podcast that we don't want it to be like a mummy podcast

because there's enough of those and that's a small part of what we're doing. But the topic keeps coming up, not just because we've got kids and I'm pregnant again, but because we're at a point in our lives where people really want to know, do I want to have kids? Do I not want to have kids?

How am I going to have kids? It's part of the conversation. And actually, we really don't know that much about having kids. Even though you've had kids. Even though we had, yeah, about pregnancy, about birth, about post-nit, but all there's so much, like, stigma and quiet and taboo and then silence. Yeah. And I love that you're not part of that silence. And I really wanted you to come basically and do a myth-busting episode with us.

I'm happy to do a myth-busting. I'm so excited. So excited. Can we ask our own questions first? Yes, go on. They're both placenta-related. Well, yeah, I was going to give you the opportunity to talk about your career if you wanted to do that before. She's like, if you're going to introduce yourself.

I don't have much to say, really. I'm a midwife, been a midwife for about three years, a nurse for about six. And I have a big personality, so I still work on labour ward. I help women birth their babies. There's a lack of knowledge when it comes to pregnant women. And even when they come with their second, their third. So I was like, you know what? I have a big personality.

Why don't I just turn on my camera? So I just turn on my camera and now I just give information, but with my personality because I didn't want to lose that. I don't want to tell you all the educational stuff in a boring way. So I was like, okay, I'll give you the truth but with, you know, a comedic kind of thing. And that's how you guys found me, to be honest, yeah. It's so valuable. It's so nice, like, to have the, like, the human.

Because it is terrifying. Right. It kind of helps de-medical. Yes. pregnancy and yeah and it's like it is kind of wild that you get pregnant like like you say I'm on my second there's still so much I don't know like and it's wild that we do just go through pregnancy not knowing like all this stuff that's happening to us what's going to happen at the end birth like I've had to learn more this time because it's been a more complicated pregnancy but last

time I've just just I just followed just went with it I was like ok dokey okay we'll just see how This goes, and you just don't do anything and it's nuts. So let's ask our questions. Let's learn some stuff. Okay, you go first. And you go first. I'll go first. If I wanted to, would I be allowed to sell my placenta?

No. No. That's interesting. So you wouldn't be able to do it, like, legally. Okay. You wouldn't be able to pull up it on Amazon and say, yeah. Who will say that? Placenta going once, going twice.

But, yeah, because you can't sell like human parts. So that's why. said to the hospital after they took it out, after it was delivered, could I be like, could I take that home? You can take it home? Can you? Can you? Do you know what people do with their placentas?

They make gummies? Did you know that they do that now? They can turn it into like a gummy, like a sweet. You can turn it into a pill. What'd you bag it up in? So we have like a solution that keeps it so that it doesn't like die or rot. So I have a little solution and put it in a bucket. Some people take it and they bury it, you know, a part of their religion.

And they have rules like making sure you bury it deep because the fox is fine. them, eat them. Oh my God. I feel like I want to do something ceremonial because I didn't realize that my last pregnancy with hyperamesis that placenta caused it. I thought it was the baby that caused it,

but it was the placenta. This time I'm like, I kind of, I mean, I don't, I want it straight in the bin. Like, I don't even need to live and I just put it in the bin. But it's part of me that's like, I want to burn it. But it's fine they can go in the bin.

I know, saw mine and I'm gutted. I've seen one. It's not. Have you seen what it looks like, though? I've got a photo of one. I'll show your video after. I've got loads. Have you?

Yeah, I don't know, I've got placentas. I think they feel so... Wow. They're massive. And they're warm. Oh! They're big though. They're big.

They're like... It depends. It depends. They feel smooth. They're smooth but rough. Like, they have like little dents in them. You can tell a lot from a placenta. They're all bloody.

Can you? You can tell if the mummy smokes. Can you? Why? Yeah, because it blocks a lot of the art, like, you know, like there's passageways. Yeah. So smoking causes a lot of damage. So you can find it that it's almost like crystallized.

It feels like crystallized. You can tell with a placenta If the lady's a bit older Why, how? Yeah, you can tell Again, with how it feels Oh, I see. You can tell if

the baby was like over the term or under term Again, with how it feels So you can tell a lot by placenta Before you even see mummy. God, that's amazing. That's crazy. It would be kind of weird

If you saw the placenta before you saw the mum there. Yeah, I'll be a bit worried. There'd be no context. How did you get here? Yeah, exactly, exactly. I love placenta. They're like, I call them baby's hand luggage. Oh, I love that.

That is the cutest thing I've heard. Thank you. It's going to be slightly ruined for you when you see the placenta. I was very horrified. Can I very quickly Google a placenta? Do we have to show you our friends? Yes. I love placentas.

I don't have a photo of my own. I didn't see my own, actually. I was a bit out of it by the time the placenta came out. Whoa. Oh, God. I think this made me feel very funny. Let me see the one you saw. Gorgeous.

Ready, see? Yeah, I don't need to find your photo. That's exactly what it looks like. That's a beautiful placenta. It looks like a whoopee cushion. That's made me feel funny. It's made me feel funny. Okay.

But I've got one of those in there right now. Yeah. And that nuts, causing all this trouble. That's very big. I didn't realize that. Well, that's, yeah. It depends. Your placenta might not be so massive.

Yeah, mine's at the back this time. Oh, nice. Which is really nice, yeah. Yeah. So I feel the baby moving so much. It's really cool. I could tell it was at the back. This is what I know.

Yeah, this is what this, yeah, but I learned that from myself, you know, like, because you just have to. Anyway, sorry, you have a question about placentas now. I have a question. Mm-hmm. So, I had my baby in January, C-section, and I have bled ever since. And then last week, I finally got a hystroscope, and they removed retained products. Ooh. Yeah.

I had your baby in January. In Jan, yeah. And you had no, like, infection, your body didn't react to it at all. She was bleeding heavily, though, that whole time. Yeah, I was bleeding heavily. And they kept pushing the operation. No one was taking it seriously. It's not been good.

When they first said they would give me the operation, they were like one to three months because it's not urgent. And maybe like, I don't know, with gyny patients, there are probably there are things obviously that are more urgent, but it felt urgent because I was like bleeding heavily, like going through paths like constantly. Anyway, I've had the operation done. They removed the products.

Yeah. Which I'm guessing is percent of the, I don't actually know. I saw the doctor for like a minute. after and I was out of it. So I don't really know. It just says on my sheet, like removed, ragged. Sorry, it's disgusting. We refer to it as ragged.

Yeah. When it's just bits here, there and everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remove that. My question in all of this is, I have always had very thin hair. I'd say please, this is the country. That was a big jump.

And during pregnancy, it got thick for me and very luscious. Nice. And it stayed that way. And since I've had the placenta removed, the retained products removed, even though it was only last week, my hair's really been shedding. I think that could be it. This is what we were scared that's going to happen. I know, I know.

I had a shower today and it was coming out and clumps. You should probably get that checked with people that deal with hair or so. Okay. Removing ragged placenta, wouldn't have enough, wouldn't be producing the hormones. Would it not? No, wouldn't be producing the pregnancy hormones. Okay. You know, my biggest surprise, not that I don't care about your hair,

is that you did not have. have some sort of infection or going through it because some women that have retained percentages a day in, two days in, are seriously ill. So for you to tell me, January, yeah, 10 months. And when I went for the scan and they said retain products and when I got the, I didn't even believe it myself until after the operation and I just saw it in my notes that, and I was like, oh my God, I actually had it in there. That's, which is good because the bleeding stop now. That's amazing. Yeah. I don't even know what to say. I've never heard of that. Really?

That long? No, I've never had that. It must have been tiny though, right? Yeah, and it's so crazy. Do you see how sensitive your body is? You know, like, for example, when you have, like, tooth pain or something, one tooth is so tiny, and it can just, like, make your whole body feel like a shine out. So that, what they could have removed could have been this small.

Yeah, it might have been tiny. And it's making your body just not function the way it should. That's crazy. Isn't it? Okay. Yeah, I don't know about your hair. Very superficial. Superficial question.

But no, that's why I want to ask was, like, was it releasing, hormones because since I had it done I felt very hormone as well that could be in my head yeah no psychology is a massive thing I would doubt that it would still be released in any sort of hormone just because there's no core there's nothing like connecting it's just pieces of flesh if you look at it like that

it's crazy a little bit of flesh gorgeous okay we can do a list of questions my there's well there's loads someone is asking about lying on their backs to give birth

I think this is so interesting because before you have a baby, before you're into babies, before you know anything about babies, you would think that you have to give birth on your back because that's what all the films do. Yeah, yeah. But that's not right, is it? Do you know the history as for why? I do, but I won't need to tell everyone. Yes, please have.

So the history behind women lying on their back was there was one funky guy and one funky king that had a fetish of watching women give birth. And to have a proper view, they used to lie on their back. back so that her legs up so that he could watch them give birth and that's how it is if you look back back in the day you know like when you go to like egypt and you see all those like um like drawings like on the walls and stuff women give birth on their knees right they give birth squatting why gravity is your best friend in labour but when you lie down you're kind of giving yourself double work because gravity's not having as much power to get baby out so the best positions if women can is to stand

It's to squat It's to sit on the toilet It's to go on their knees Even if they lie down, lie on your side And like the hospital now Even if you want to lie on your back There's a way we can make the bed Almost like a sitting position

Because we're like, why work harder if you don't need to Let gravity help you Push this baby out Literally more difficult to give birth on your back Yes Wow Have doctors and like midwifery and teaching And everything

Has it always been that that they would encourage people to give birth in their back? Or has it been in, like, did it become popular because of that king? And then it became like, that was how everybody did it. So that was how doctors were making women do it. Or was it more like that was just kind of how it was portrayed, but the reality has always been that women have been doing it on their knees and bums and whatever. Let me tell you the honest truth.

The easiest way for us to listen to your baby is you on your back. Like, I'll pop that little machine on your belly. I'm hearing, did them, did them, straight away. Whereas if you're on your knees and all that, kind of stuff it's a bit harder for us to do but guess what it's a shift for us really we come to work we get paid we should do our work right but you find a lot of midwise a lot of doctors just for the ease of themselves which is super super super selfish might just tell a woman oh you know what you can just lie in her back and it doesn't help she's an she can be in labour for longer because she's not using all the tools

of gravity to help baby come down you know yeah so those other things that play in that if women have an epidural, for example, they still don't have to lie on their back. We can still get them sat. They don't need to, they can't obviously walk around, but we can still get them sat right up. Yeah. Can you tell us for, because there's no such thing as a stupid question, and I'm going to tell myself that a lot today. What actually is an epidural? So it's like a block. Let's see it as like little soldiers in your legs and in your body. They run up until your brain, oh, her legs hurts her disc hurts what all an epidural does is

put a gate there so all the soldiers can't tell your brain that this place hurts or this is doing that do you get my gist? So just think of tiny little soldiers all an epidural does is it shuts the door so they're probably banging on the door like she's having contractions but the brain can't hear a single thing

so you can't feel your contractions when you have an epidural. Actually that was and you have an epidural before you have a C-section? Yes so you have a spinal which is the same thing It's just not continuous dose of, you know, with an epidural, it continuously goes in because you're in it for a long time. Whereas we give you a big bolus, like a big dose of that drug because we don't, we don't need to keep giving it to you because you're going to be out of surgery soon. Okay. Yeah, that's so interesting. There's a lot of stigma around epidurals as

well. Yeah, what do you think about that? It's a tricky, it's a long one. It's a long one, but I feel like there's definitely a lot of wrong information going out there. And definitely, I do understand because everyone's always scared of oh, you can be paralysed but if you look at the numbers, it's like one in a hundred thousand that could ever even and some anitha says the people that actually put their pejoras in

can work 30, 40 years doing thousands and never ever see a woman paralyzed. So it's about what you want to go for and a lot of people say it gives you back pain. Pregnancy alone gives you back pain. So we don't know, is it an epidural or is it the fact that he carried a baby for nine months? Yeah. Yeah.

So yeah, that's the stigma around epidurals. It's also around because it makes it, well, because you can't feel the contractions it's harder to push, right? Yeah, right? Yeah. With an epidural. Pain is a huge incentive.

Yeah. To push because you're trying to push that pain out. Yeah. And I find that women push better when they don't have an epidural. Right. Because sometimes an epidural can work so well that you have to feel her belly and be like, oh, you're having a contraction push now.

Right. Okay. So it is harder. I find that from women it's harder. But some women don't care, they just don't want to be in pain. Yeah, well, that would be me. Yeah. Yeah, like, so it depends on what you want to do.

What percentage of people are taking epidurals now, I feel like. Way more than before. Yeah. Way more, yes. I don't know the exact number, but we call for a lot more epidurals now because people don't want to be made. Do the majority of women who give birth vaginally have an epidural? A lot of them actually don't have epidurals.

Okay. And I feel like I'm going to say this and people are going to like, labor is a massive mind game. I find a lot of women that do like hypnoburthin or a lot of women that have prepped their mind do better in labour. Not because they're not in pain, but they acknowledge that that pain is for something.

Although some women, though, that like they could prepare mentally, no matter how much hypnobirthing they do, they get there and the pain just takes over everything and they just, that's all gone. That's not, that's not, that's me. You're like, yeah, that's me. Some women don't waste time, like some women don't even want to feel one contraction.

Well, yeah, I mean, but then, because you had an elective C-section because of that. And it's so nice that we're at a time where you can do that. Yeah, did you have an elective because... I did, yeah, for anxiety. Yeah. I just needed the control over it as much control as I could have in that situation. And you did it for a single contraction? No, no, no, no.

Some women don't want to. Thank God, I don't want to. I have no desire to feel it. Because you wanted to feel, you wanted. I wanted to have a vaginal birth, yeah. But I just didn't, it wasn't on the cards for me, which I was kind of, I knew that would happen. No, I didn't know.

I suspected it happened. I had a family history of pelvis issues, basically. Pelvic, pelvic, yeah. Pelvic issues. So I kind of knew it was coming. And I'd spoken to the consultant before, and he said, I think you'll probably go into end up with the caesarian, looking at the baby, looking at your body.

And I was like, I would like to try. So I was induced. a little bit early so I could try but obviously I didn't and it's interesting because I don't know how I feel I don't actually I don't feel any kind of way about induction or caesarian or any of it

I thought I'd be disappointed not to have a vaginal birth but you didn't no I actually felt like it was really positive I had the induction and I had contractions but she just wouldn't go down and like that was what happened with my mum when she was giving birth to me

where like didn't go down. She's like she wasn't going. So we had to do the caesarean and then it was like okay fair enough. And then this time I just feel like I don't feel disappointed. I felt like I had a go. I was in a name of 20, not label, but I was induced labor for 24 hours last time. They gave me a really good chance. They gave it the best chance they could and it didn't happen. So I'm like, okay, that's fine. That's my body telling me. And I guess like I don't want to minimize how anyone feels about their birth or not getting the birth that they wanted to have. But then I feel like once the baby is here like you kind of just don't think about how they got here i think it depends because

we both had really good birth we had good but we didn't have like it was no despite like my yeah my must class as an emergency but i did what it wasn't really like you didn't feel like you were been rushed down the hallway no i had a little bit when she was my just become my blood pressure and with the hypermesis and i'd been very sick throughout the i hadn't eaten for like 24 hours or whatever so my and so i went a little bit loopy when she was being born and that was a little bit not scary but like that was the only bit that was like this isn't great like I don't love this because then I could see the anesthetist being like oh she's all right I was like don't ask me if I'm alright if you tell me um that was the only bit that I was like oh I don't love that um but yeah

we both had really great birth so yeah because birth trauma is such a real thing yeah that's a whole topic yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah or because of trauma my sister had a a bit of a traumatic birth I don't even know how you classify these things but it was definitely it was trauma for her she had trauma as birth trauma as if the woman's traumatised yes yeah and she was and she

had another baby and it was really the whole nine months was traumatic for her because she was gearing herself up to do this thing that had traumatised her in the first place and to do it all over again it's really she actually went back to the hospital you can go back to your hospital and go through your notes, can't you and kind of go through everything and like relive it

all so it helps you process everything. She did that, which did help her. Yeah. Do you see a lot of people anxious in the run up to birth? Is that like, is that a recurring thing in patients that you see? Let me give you guys an example. A lot of women just before they get to the time that they feel like they're going to give birth and there's this like emphasis on you give birth on your on your due date, on your due date, only about 4% people deliver on their due days. You're unlikely to deliver it on your due date and anxiety increases. Why? Because they're online, videos are coming up, birth stories are coming up. You know, whatever, you feel like your phone's listening to you.

Whatever they feel like, as in the, they're anticipating something. And the problem that that comes with is a lot of women go to the hospital and they feel like, oh, I feel a contraction, I feel a contraction. And people don't realize that hospitals have protocols. So the more you come in, the more likely they are. to induce you and inductions are only good when they're needed when they're not needed they're the worst thing you can do for a woman i would love to talk about that and that's what a lot of the questions were about as well people saying inductions are so much fear mongering around them and then also

people saying like why am i being pushed for an induction when i don't want one why does that happen because people are coming in i feel like inductions are amazing when they're needed a lot of women will come to me and be like, oh, I'm here for induction, or why are you being induced? Oh, I don't know. They don't even know why they're being induced. Induction is a massive decision. People don't realize the earlier you get induced, the more likely it is to fail. Yeah. Inductions are more likely to be successful if your term, past term.

But once you're being induced like 37 weeks, what's the reason why you're being induced? Do you understand what I mean? For example, that we induced for gestational diabetes. Okay, she has gestational diabetes, but it's managed by her diet. Is there any issues with baby, no. Is there any issues with the water? No. Is there any issues with her blood sugars?

No. So why are we inducing? Yeah. Why are you inducing? There's so many things I disagree with. And it's so annoying working in a space where I'm like, I don't agree with this. I'm literally inducing this woman. I don't agree with inducing this woman.

I don't understand. And it's different because I can't tell this woman I don't think you should be induced or I can't say to her, don't get induced. But it's so frustrating because everything. is medicalised now. Whereas I see a lot of women, I'm like, I've literally like, it sounds so weird. I've got my fingers in their vagina, right? And I'm just like, why would I give this drug? Leave, like, it's so, it stresses me out. Or for example, if a lady's like two centimeters and we can break her waters, ideally by induction, it takes somebody to be like, you know what,

I wouldn't really break the waters now. Let me give her something else to make it thinner. So when I break her waters in six hours time, she's more likely to be. successful but someone else might not do that and just break her waters next thing you know she's having an emergency caesarean a lot of emergency caesareans are because people are being induced for no reason yeah i hate hate it so much yeah would you advise pregnant women then who are being recommended an induction for them to do their own research around it and to ask questions yeah i said to every pregnant woman every time a medical professional offers you something ask what are your other options yeah even if you see me in the hospital and i say to you know what i would

suggest what are my other options and why are you not suggesting those for me? If there's one thing that anyone can ever take from me is any time you're offered something, always, always ask, what are my other options and why are you not recommending that for me? Because now you know what you could do, and now you know why they're saying you shouldn't. So you can have a better knowledge us to your situation. But a lot of pregnant women, they are vulnerable

and they feel like, oh, they don't want to do anything that's wrong for their baby. But it's so sad because these medical professionals might not be saying the best thing. We're all humans. And I suppose as well, do doctors have their own doctors and midwives, I suppose, but I guess they all have their own, like, preference or idea of what they think is best anyway. Yeah, yeah. I don't know the ladies that have a specific consultant.

Like, if a lady comes in and by the plan, I'm like, this is their doctor. Because that's how this doctor works. Then I see another lady's notes, I'm like, oh, this is this doctor. He doesn't necessarily induce them if they have this. I can tell who's looking after you by your plan. That's so interesting. I mean, I guess it makes sense. It's everything, their treatment is skewed by what they've been through.

Yeah. Yeah, that's really interesting. A lot of doctors and midwives work based on their trauma as well. It's crazy. A doctor could have made one mistake one time. Yeah. And now a thousand pregnant women will have to do it this way because he never wants to have to relieve that trauma.

God, yeah, that's such a good point. So midwives and doctors that you work. That's so funny. Yeah. Because I literally, throughout my first pregnancy and throughout this one, I've literally, I've been the worst. been like the doctors know I don't know anything. I don't know anything about myself. I don't anything on my body. The doctors know what's up. They can make all the decisions. And it's worked out fine for me. I feel it's it's been fine. But it is insane when you say it like that.

I'm like, why have I given all my trust of these people? That's actually insane. Yeah. I'll still do it. Yeah. Of course. They're like figures of authority to it. But you know me. I'm so capable of authority. It's the white coat syndrome of 100%. Yeah. their doctors, that's why I really do my content in making my, I don't even wear uniform on my vigils anymore because I'm trying to break that stigma of use guys seeing uniform and I'm thinking, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what humans. I'm not saying that for you not to trust your doctors because they probably know way more than what you know. But let me tell you something, the one thing that they can never know more than you is your own body. So you owe it to yourself

to know your body. A woman owes it to herself to know what pregnancy does to her because I have some women that are like, no, no, no, I want it like this. It's beautiful to see. It's sexy. I'm like, you are gorgeous. But knowing exactly what it is you want. It's empowering. Because for a long time, for many years, people have associated weakness with pregnancy. Whereas it's a strength if you tap into it.

I would love to talk to you about body image in pregnancy. Because I talk about body image a lot on my platform. and a lot of women have questions around when they get pregnant and when they start going to the midwife and, you know, the issue of weight comes up and BMI. I was really lucky with my experience in that I never had to get weighed. I asked not to be weighed because of my cause of history with eating disorders and I asked not to be weighed and the midwife always honoured that.

Apart from at the very end, she was like, I have to do it for the C-section. For the drug dosage. For the drug dosage, but we'll do it blind. You know, I won't write it. I don't even write it on your note so you never have to see it. She was amazing. Is that a common experience?

A lot of people are worried about their body image. Not necessarily, not as much when they're pregnant, a lot post-pregnancy. Right. Because the changes for a lot of women can be drastic. And online now you get the, oh, in three weeks, look at my body, in four weeks, look at my body. Whereas some people, like, that's what makes them struggle more.

I haven't really seen a lot of women personally that are worried about their weight. I feel like a lot of women don't get to do water births. in a lot of hospitals if their BMI is high. That's a shame. How come? What's the reason behind that? So the reason behind that, it's not even a health reason.

It's more so with water births. Yeah. If, for example, my hospital, if anything goes wrong, you pass out anything, you have to be somewhat a weight that we can carry you out of the water. So the higher your BMI is, the more likely we are able to get you out. Right. Okay, so it's a practical reason. It's a practical reason rather than there's something

going to be wrong and another practical reason is sometimes with a higher BMI it's harder to get to listen to listen to your baby because obviously you're a bit bigger and water is already harder for you to listen to your baby right so then it's like we wouldn't add something extra okay but sometimes a woman comes and I know her BMI's high she's very alert she's active proper and our women I guess I think there's there's community with midwives and then there's hospital mid is that right and it's community midwives who you look after you out, they keep track with your body changes and everything. So you're not a community midwife, right? No, I just work a label one. Okay. So I don't know if you'll know this question,

but are we allowed to not be weighed? When we go for our check-ins with the midwives, are we allowed to say, you know, I had the experience. I was lucky where I was able to say no and she honored that. Is that a general, is that common experience where you're allowed not to be weighed? Yeah, so that's the funny word allowed. I always say I never want to hear it from women because I'm like you are a pregnant lady and I always say you're not inmate 4,000 where you have to be allowed to do certain things. It's a service. You tell me how you want me to look after you. Okay. The most I can say to you is this is why I think you should be, but at no point will anybody be able to give you a different care because of what you suggest to us. So you are

allowed to do whatever the heck you like. I don't feel like I'm allowed to do anything when I'm pregnant. I think that's so great for people to hear. Get it out of your mind. If you're pregnant, get it out of your mind, that mentality of would they allow me, would they allow me, would they allow me? It's a service. It's so mad, isn't it? Because I want to ask for my blood results back because I just got my results back to know that, like, my iron's low and my vitamin steelo. I hate going on iron because it makes me constipated.

And I'm already on dantsotron. They already don't eat anything with fiber in it because of the sickness. I throw up all the time. I'm really constipated. I don't want to go on more iron. And if it's really low, I want to see if I can have an infusion, but I'm too scared to ask. I'm just like, I'm just, I need to know. It is that, it is that, yeah.

I really wished you, I really wished I could get like a secret camera in our staff room and you guys can see how chilled and relaxed and everyone's just enjoying themselves. And then maybe you would forget that word this. Yeah, yeah. I think it's really, like, important and empowering for people to, pregnant women to hear this. Yeah. That it's like, it's, the care is in your hands, like how you're treated is to. to an extent, like, in your hands and what you can ask for.

There's a big reason behind women not wanting to know their weight. Like, it can be really triggering. Exactly. Especially at a time when your body's, like, kind of out of your control anyway. Okay, that's, that's, I'm really glad we asked that. Thank you. And if you're on the allowed thing, if you really want to have a water birth or a home birth, if you've got a specific birth plan, but it doesn't align with what the doctors are recommending,

what happens there? So we have what we call consulting midwives. They're our bosses and they have to make you a specific plan and then it's a meeting where you go meet her or him and then you write out your plan and you have to say

I understand that the doctor's saying this but this is what I want it's a meeting and then they tell it to us say to us that okay we're expecting this lady she's due so and so time we know she's not

she's not by plan wouldn't be here but because she's done that meeting she can come so you can kind of do pretty much I don't want to say stuff because I don't want to start

giving people ideas as to what they shouldn't what I would never advise them to do but you can pretty much do a lot of things and when I see a lot women saying I don't know I was allowed to do them like I wish you knew what so and so just did two weeks ago yeah then you would know that this is nothing yeah yeah yeah yeah just because she put her leg on said no no way it's so nice that to hear that there is encouragement for people to advocate yeah for themselves yeah yeah because you do feel like you have to put up I think women in general feel like we have to put up and not just with pregnancy but like kind of with our health in general you know like bad periods like whatever it is there's so much of it where you just think oh I like mustn't

grumble like yeah you've got to kind of suffer in silence I don't blame I don't the blame will never be on pregnant women or it will always be for us to focus on the health care providers to not make women feel like you know they can't do certain things or they can't make the decision and or they're not they're a bad parent if they make this decision they don't love their baby they want their baby to die that's the that's the way some women feel so if people People feel like that. Of course, they're going to ask questions like, am I allowed, am I allowed, am I allowed? That's why I do my content to be like, babe, what do you want?

A couple of people are asking about planned C sections. Are they safer than a natural birth in terms of like unexpected birth complications? Is it safer to have a planned C section? I'll admit that that's how I felt. So... That's part of the reason that I... Safer in what sense? Physically, emotionally.

because it could be safer for some people emotionally because now they don't have to go through the idea of having a vagina birth or things being out of the control. Physically, not necessarily safer because it's a major obstetric surgery. So no doctor would suggest to you to have a caesarian if there was nothing wrong.

Right, okay. It's not our go-to. No. So there's a reason why it's not our go-to. That's interesting because I wondered if it wasn't the go-to because it obviously costs a lot more, doesn't it, for the NHS than a vaguely?

original birth. So I wondered if that was the reason that it wasn't a go-to rather than for safety and for the baby, for the health of the baby. There's a lot of risks that come with cesareans. Like if you had a cesarean, if you listen to what the doctor had to say could happen in a cesarean before you signed the sheet, you would know it's a lot more risks than having your baby vaginally. So it's more of a safety for mommy, safety for a baby, that wouldn't offer a caesarean. The only time we would offer a caesarean is whatever risk comes with you having that baby vaginally is greater than the risk of having a caesarean. Right.

Then we choose a caesarean. Okay. But we wouldn't choose a caeserun as, oh yeah, yeah, let's just have a caesarean. Right. We wouldn't. Okay. I think that's why I trusted the doctor when he said to me that he advised a caerian. Yeah.

That I was like, well, that seems fair enough. Yeah. Because I didn't want one. Yeah. But then it's like, but he's advising it. So it kind of felt like, well, yeah. So this time it wasn't even an argument. But it is an interesting thing because I think there is like there's so much stigma attached

to C-sections, which I think. which I think is why I didn't want one. Which actually is really, I unpacked it. I spoke to one doctor one time. Like I met this one female doctor when I was pregnant last time. And she asked how I was going to give birth. And I said that I really wanted to have a vaginal birth because I'd been recommended of the cesarean.

And she was so nice. And she sat with me for ages and like really taught me through, like how I was allowed to try. Like basically what you're saying. She was just really empowering. and it was really, really nice. And I left that meeting and I was like, oh my God, I have so much, like, internal, like, shit

about, like, how I'm, like, would be less of a woman or, like, and I kind of failed something or, like, I wouldn't have been, like, the best mom. Like, I had this really weird, like, reason for wanting to have a vaginal birth. And then, obviously, I had my caesarian, and she was, I'm, like, she's still my baby. I'm still her mom.

It's funny, because I didn't feel that until I started to tell people. And mine was completely elective, well, you know, it was to control my anxiety and I felt very strong in that decision. Yeah. But then when I started to tell people, I felt judgment about it. I really did, yeah. Openly or you felt like the way they behaved, was it body language? Yeah, but like, but why? You know, like, why are you having a C-section? I was like, I felt like I had to explain it. And yeah, it was a lot of implicit but also explicit stuff as well. And just, yeah, but I didn't, I really

didn't care. I was like, I'm just staying strong with it. This is what I want to do. This is what I know that I need to make me as happy and healthy as possible. And I was lucky enough that the doctor let me have one. We've got so many more questions. So many more. Can you prevent tearing during vaginal birth with perineal stretching? Yes. Yeah.

Nice. Okay. Oh, this is a myth stuff I want to know because I wanted my vaginal birth. So I did all this last time. I did the, is it rose? One of the capsules? What are there? No, raspberry.

Raspberry leaf tea, that's what I did. Raspberry leave tea drink, except I couldn't because I kept throwing it out, but I tried it. And then you did the massage, which I literally, then my bump got too big and my arms weren't long enough. I could really reach it. I was like, my husband's going to have to do it or we'll have to leave it. Anyway, but was that, would that have been for nothing? Does it like, how much is? It really does work, you know.

Does it? It really does work. And it may not necessarily stop you from completely tearing, but it can reduce your tearing. Nice. And I teach it in my class all the time. I say to people, listen, especially to the partners as well, because like you said, you can't reach there all the time. I tell the partners that you guys need to get up.

Like, if she's in this class, it means you've been there before. So you can go back and help there with the massage. And I say, now research is saying that women that start as early as like 15 weeks are less likely to tear if they continue to massage. Why? Because your baby's head shouldn't be the first time it stretches to that. Should you get my chest? Yeah.

If you continuously stretch it, it's like going to the gym, you build up the weights that you're carrying. It's the same way that with your perineum, but you build up how much something can come out of it without it tearing. Okay. So a lot of women that do perineal massages, don't tear. I teach, I'm big on it. It doesn't mean you won't tear at all, but it should significantly reduce the tear you have. So well, way worth doing then. Yeah, well worth doing.

Can we talk about tearing in general? Yes. Does it happen to everyone? A lot of people, yeah. A lot of people, yeah. Yeah, it's common. Give yourself grace. It's not every day, it's not every Tuesday,

a random, a random massive head comes out with the vagina. So it's likely that you're going to tear a little bit. But one thing I say to people is that a lot of women, when they're pushing, it should be like probably the quietest time, the most chill time, because they have to focus on, give him that baby's head slowly and gently. So like this. And when it gets to here, it feels like a fire, right?

but then that's when they really need to do this I always tell them imagine that you have 12 candles and just blow out all those candles for me Oh that's good I always say like the birthday cake and I'm like imagine your baby has 12 candles on their cake

just blow out all the 12 candles whilst the ring of fire is there and then just give me that baby's head like this you're less likely to tear I guess the instinct would be there you want it as quickly as possible but I'm like no no no no that's why a lot of women

I always try and help them and tell them like keep your eyes on me because you're in your pain you're like this but when you zone out you don't you're not able to really hear sometimes because I'm like okay

I promise you it will pass just don't give me that baby's head like that give it to me gently and then we always like keep like a warm compress on it so as baby's head is coming a lot of us

will try and control how it comes out so that so sometimes you find yourself almost pushing the baby like don't don't don't give it to me so harsh gently gently gently gently gently gently

as soon as baby's heads out baby turns by themselves and then one shoulder comes out the other shoulder comes out baby's out oh my god this is insane so you talk about it like that I'm like oh my god

I've got a kid in me women who have you as a midwife I bet they feel so lucky you sound wonderful thank you can I ask about the baby coming out yeah

pregnancy gives you haemorrhoids I knew you were going to ask it I'm like the second she mentioned the perennium hemorrhoids are coming up And I can attest to the fact that pregnancy gives you haemorrhoids. Like, how can you give birth vaginally when you've got hemorrhoys?

Surely everything just falls out. Yeah, it hurts a lot more. Does it fall out? Sometimes it can come out of where it used to be and hang. It really just, I don't know, it really depends as well. And we just try and avoid touching them or getting anywhere near them. Really, because I read that if you have them bad, then midwives hold them in while you.

Yeah, like we can like place them. away like cold so that baby's head doesn't you know press on them and we give you this medicine after you give birth up your bum yeah um that really helps okay with pain not with the hemorrhoids yeah okay it's so interesting because you say it's a matter of factly but like to people who have hemorrhoids are like people who have it's such an anxiety thing yeah even women that have like terrible thrush why what does that it's painful it stinks oh it's painful yeah okay what about poo i love poo yeah I feel like this is another thing that there are so many myths about.

Yeah. But it is true that when you give birth, you poo yourself, right? Yeah. Do most women poo themselves? Most women poo. We tell you to push like doing your, you're doing a poo. Sometimes I would actually tell a woman to sit on the toilet, I'll put a bowl there, obviously,

and I'll tell her just poo, because that's the best thing she's going to push. And then by the time baby said it's coming out a bit, then I can get her off the toilet or I can just deliver a baby on the, like, on the toilet seat. because it's better that way because baby's head is pushing on that part

once you push and you're pooing baby's head is just it's like baby's head is pushing the poo out so that tells me that number one baby's head is there that means baby's coming very soon number two you're pooing I always saw you're creating more space

for your baby's head to come out but women are so terrified of poo that's why I did a video on it and thank God it went far because I was like I need you guys to know that we don't care about the poo we don't leave the room and say oh yeah my client pooed

no one we I wish you knew how little poo means to midwives. Really? I think it's the embarrassment more so of feeling like why am I pooing in front of strangers? And I'm like, listen, I've seen so much people and we clean it so fast. Because obviously baby said it, we don't wait me to like eat it or anything.

Yeah, yeah. As soon as you poo, we clean it, put it to the side, chuck it in the bin. Clean it, put it to the side, chuck it in the bin. A lot of people are shy in front of their partners, like their husband's seen them poo. I'm like, babe, poo. Yeah, he did this. Yeah.

He did it. He played a role in this. I mean, yeah, but it is embarrassing, and it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be, though. Why is poo a big thing? I know, I don't know. And I think it's a British thing as well, you know? Do you?

Yeah, it's not so big everywhere else. Really? Like, you know what, just, like, very conservative? Like, we just don't want people to know or that kind of stuff. Yeah. But it's not really a massive thing in other countries of, oh my gosh, I pooed. It's here. So, in the water, in the water?

We scoop it out, we have a sieve. So if they're poo in the water, we just sieve it out quickly. What if it's runy? Everyone asks this all the time. Then it's running. I wasn't going to ask that. I was going to ask where you keep the sieves. But then you're going to sit in your poo then?

Yeah, but a lot of women don't have runny poo. A lot of women are actually constipated in labour before that. Yeah. So yeah. Corsipation and pregnancy, I can advocate for. Where do you keep the siebs? Do you have loads? Yeah, loads.

They're one-time use. Oh, fine. I imagine you have, like, one each. No, like a little like, like police officers and trunchens. Watch it out of the water. We throw this. sieve away. Okay.

And it catches the poose. Like, it's midwives, like, honestly, I always say we're like superhero sometimes because you're listening to baby. You're watching the baby's head. You've got a sieve in this hand. They're taking the poo out of this way. But yeah, we don't want you to sit in your poo. You are superheroes.

Oh, thank you. I watched a video that I absolutely loved of yours about how the attention, when the baby is born, how the attention goes so quick from mom. It makes me so sad. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because I feel like baby comes out and, We love babies, midwives, but midwifery literally means with women. So we love women a bit more than, you know, babies.

So once the baby's out, we pop the baby on the resuscitate, which is, you know, like their little bed area. That means baby's good. Yeah. But you find that when baby comes out and then you think you've left the danger zone, you haven't. A lot of women bleed out profusely. And the reason why I did that video is because I remember I had a dad in the room.

He was already on FaceTime to his family and the woman was bleeding out. I had to put an emergency bar as I get everyone in because I could not stop the bleeding and it was just so sad because I was like who's comforting her? He was with baby FaceTiming, showing everyone the baby and I'm like it breaks my heart to see that a woman will go through nine months

she will be having her baby and as soon as the baby's out the tension has shifted from her and now it looks like she just she was just a carrier of the gift but you need to look after the gift and there's a massive quote that says a baby will never remember who held them but a mother will always remember who held

her. Yeah. She has the memory to say that, okay, my husband, my partner and my mom supported me in birth, and then the baby is not going to remember that. Yeah. Yeah. It made me cry. I remember even when my daughter was born, because the baby does go, and everybody

does go to where the baby's gone. Yeah. And because I had a cesarean, I was stuck, and I could just see her. And I knew my husband was cutting the cord, which is lovely, and I'm really pleased he got to do it. But I was just watching it, and that's in my heart rate, but I'm like, blah, la, la. I couldn't, and I wanted to hold it, I couldn't hold it. And that is, that is, like, that's the only time that I did find.

Not, it wasn't sad because it was amazing, but like, you do feel that shift in the whole room. It's like, everyone who was there getting the baby out of you goes to me. And it's right, like, of course, that they go to the baby. But it does make you feel a little bit like, like shit. Yeah, it's true. At no point in labour, she do not feel held, even after babies. And it's quite metaphorical, really, for the whole of the fourth trimester and how. much of like how much women are left are just kind of that's the other thing I was going

to ask about follow up appointments and I don't know I mean obviously it's not your idea how the country does it yeah but it is a bit nuts that we just have a six one one follow up so I don't know why you have one follow up it should be about three I think I had one appointment for me two appointments for me one time my sit she's taken out one to sign me off and then we had one in the house for her and then and then there were a few for her because then you take there to the community midwife, you know, like a different centre, the midwife centre. But I was quite astounded that after a C-section...

You had to, yeah. Back in the day, post-natical care was way better. Was it? Yeah, and midwives used to go there. You never really had to leave the house. But then now that the country is short of midwives, they realise that if they come into you, you can see more women, whereas there's not enough midwives to go through all the women.

But back in the day, like, you didn't need to leave the house. They used to come to you, come to you, come to you. It is a big else. So I had a six-week appointment after a C-section, and I remember, because I wanted to be signed off so I could drive. And I was like, well, how am I going to get to the hospital? Because my husband's gone back to work. Yeah.

So I don't know how to get there. I can't really walk? Yeah. And then they were like, can I exercise? And it was like, no. I was like, okay. And then that was that. And then I was like, I'll just Google it then.

I don't know. But it's kind of nuts. I always think if men had babies, it wouldn't be like that. It wouldn't. I didn't think anything would be like it is if men have babies. But no, it should be better for sure. That's good to know. It's sad that it's not.

So many questions. I know. Can I find a wrap up. But if what's the best position to give birth in? That was one of the questions that answers. I was loads. My favourite is on your knees. On your knees?

That's my favourite. And like on your knees and then a ball in front of you because once the contraction goes, just relax on the ball. It'll feel like a little bed, like a little cushion on your head. And then once the contraction start, you can push on it and poo or whatever.

Is there really any harm in having a small glass of wine once a week while pregnant? It's one of those things where we're like, don't risk it for chocolate biscuit just don't have alcohol but I've never seen a pregnant woman have a small glass of wine and dropped it fair enough

about coffee, caffeine so they say to reduce the amount of caffeine but there's no specific amount of you should have this and pregnancy is unethical to do research around pregnancy because you can't actively do something that could hurt a baby so research around

pregnancy and what could harm babies not so great because it's unethical to do so many things Right. Yeah. Do you ever remember your patient slash parents slash babies? Depends, yeah. Yeah.

I can't remember all. Fair enough. Like some woman would be like, oh my gosh, she didn't look my baby. I'd be like, yeah. Best day in my life. But sometimes. I had my daughter on our midwife's birthday. Oh, no.

It was so nice. She was working on her birthday. No, she left because I was in hospital for a while. So I've been with her for the whole of the day, but her whole shift before. And then she had her birthday off and then I was still in hospital when she came back. So I was really happy. but yeah, I got to have it on her birthday. It was also Harry Stiles' birthday

and my mom's dog's birthday. It was a pretty big day. Oh, wow. It was a big day. It was a big day. Here's one, just to end on. And I think this is really interesting because this is something that my sister's really found is like conflicting advice between midwives.

I think this is probably a lot to do with breastfeeding. And there is so much, there is so much, isn't there? I didn't have that because I didn't breastfeed. But someone's asked, why is there so much conflicting advice around midwives and how to know what to do. do when you're receiving conflicting advice? So it's really annoying because, like I said, even though we all went to the same school, we all learned culture comes into how we teach things, our impersonal experiences come into

how we teach things, which is why we look at different things. One thing I always say to women in regards to breastfeeding is, don't let emotion disrupt the facts. The fact is, scientifically, breast milk will forever be better than any formula milk, scientifically. emotionally. If breastfeeding is not what you want to do, babies don't die from formula. Babies still thrive on formula. So it's about just saying that what do you personally want? Some women want that scientific fact of baby's going to have all of these things and it helps move my emotional bond. So I want to breastfeed. But then if you find that breastfeeding,

because women have gone like, I've had mental health issues post breastfeeding because the trauma is so much, the pain is too much, they didn't have the right advice. And then it's better for those women not to breastfeed because we need mommy to be in the best state of mind to look after her baby but scientifically breast is better than formula formulas try to behave like like they try to make them like breast milk but then well more than science

there's the state of mind so if you don't want to breastfeed and you feel like you'll be better you'll function better without breastfeeding then don't breastfeed sounding from what you said it sounds like that's applicable kind of with most of it yeah yeah like you can take the science and run with it but you have to consider yourself as a human within that

as well. I feel like that's what we need to know like that's what someone should tell you when you, that's what clear blue you should put on the pregnancy test when it comes back positive being like, by the way, you're a person and throughout this

your feelings will count. There's no blanket answers. There's no blanket treatment, blanket care. Exactly. It should be tailored to how you feel in your, yeah. This has been great. This has been so good.

Oh, thank you. So, so, so much. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming. Congratulations again. Thank you very much. Sad you're not my middle. I know.

Oh my God. I'll keep vicariously living through your Instagram, pretending that you are. Yes. We'll leave the links to your social pages and the classes that you... Yes, my antennasal classes. Yes. So where do you hold your classes? I hold them in London.

I always give their dress about two, three weeks before the class. Okay. And, yes, under Mama's classes. It's for anyone that's pregnant. that wants to learn about labour. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for coming in. You've been the best.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.