Should I Delete That? - OnlyFans star Lily Phillips: 'There’s only so many men you can f*** in a day'

Episode Date: August 31, 2025

JOIN US FOR OUR LIVE SHOW IN EDINBURGH THIS WEEK ON WEDNESDAY 3RD SEPTEMBER! Head to SIDTLive.com for more information and to purchase tickets.This is a conversation that we’ve wanted to have for a LONG time - we’re speaking to OnlyFans star Lily Phillips. Lily is an adult performer and OnlyFans star - her name reached the mainstream in late 2024, when released a video on her OnlyFans account where she had sex with 101 men in one day.She has gone on to be one of the most well-known OnlyFans creators in the UK. We spoke to her about why she began on the platform - and how she took the leap from producing solo content to large scale public-events. We also asked Lily about her thoughts on feminism, empowerment and if she feels a responsibility towards young people - both those who consume pornography and young people who are considering OnlyFans as a viable career option. Lily features in Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over series 6 which is available to stream for free on U.Follow @lilyphillip_s on InstagramFollow @lilyphillipstokk on TikTokWatch Lily’s YouTube Channel hereIf you'd like to get in touch, email us on [e-mail] us on Instagram:@shouldideletethat@em_clarkson@alexlight_ldnShould I Delete That is produced by Faye LawrenceStudio Manager: Dex RoyVideo Editor: Celia GomezSocial Media Manager: Sarah EnglishMusic: Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, should I delete that listeners? We are just days away now from our live show in Edinburgh and we are so excited to see you guys there. So in light of the conversations that we've been having recently about body image, both online and on the podcast, we wanted to bring this conversation to you live. We're going to have an interactive and intimate chat and we would love to explore this topic with you. We know we're not the only ones feeling the weight of this huge societal shift at the moment and we feel like this is a really timely opportunity to get together and to have a conversation that we hope will be really, really meaningful and there are still tickets available. If you want to join us on the 3rd of September

in Edinburgh, you can find links to tickets either in the show notes or you can go to SIDT Live.com. As ever, we want to thank our partner Simprove for sponsoring this show. Reminded that you can get 50% off the first 12 weeks at the rolling subscription by using the code delete 50. Al, I'm not sharing mine with you. You need to pack your own Simprove this trip. Come on. Hi, I'm Lily Phillips. I'm a 24-year-old adult star. You might know me from sleeping with 101 men in one day.

Hello, welcome back to you. Should I delete that? I'm Lim Clarkson. I'm Alex Light. You're all right? Sorry. We've been under these lights. It's very hot today.

We've been under these lights for a while. I think I'm, well, we've just come straight out of our interview with Lily Phillips. We're recording this back to front. We wanted to record the intro immediately. But it's basically an outro that you're listening to as an intro. We have just had a conversation that we have wanted to have for a very long time. We interviewed Lily Phillips. In light of Bonnie Blues' Thousand Men in a Day challenge that's been in the news recently.

We've been talking a lot about only fan creators, about the industry as a whole, about what it all means, about feminism, empowerment, trying to work out where we land. We were so excited to finally get the opportunity to have this conversation with someone in the eye of the storm, so to speak. Right. What did you think of the interview? I thought she was so lovely. She was so nice. I feel like I talked too much. She was so nice.

She was just a really, really lovely girl. A hundred percent. We had a million questions. We did. I think I've left with more questions than answers. Same, possibly. And I feel like, just to like break the fourth wall here, I feel like maybe I didn't interrogate her the way that I feel like

I should have done. Do you think? A little bit. I disagree. I think what this episode taught me, and I'm sorry everyone because you haven't heard it yet and it's annoying, but I think the thing that the overriding thing that I felt talking to Lily was I was reminded that she is a human. She is a young human.

She is a young woman. She's just turned 24 a couple of weeks ago. And I thought that was something that I really needed and I need to keep forefront of my mind when I have these conversations and when I have these big thoughts about sex industry, about the women at the centre of it, about Onlyfans, they are humans. And this conversation for me humanised the women of Onlyfans hugely. For sure.

But I think the reason that I didn't ask the questions, maybe that I wanted to ask, is because I don't think she's the right person to answer those questions. Who do you think is? I'm not entirely sure. But I have questions and I have concerns about the sex industry and where it's going and the escalating nature of only fans and sex stunts

that I think I think it's like the future it looks a bit dangerous but I don't think she's the right person necessarily who should have to who should have to you know feel those questions does that make sense? Yes because she is not responsible

for those answers and I think that was something that we felt we are going to stop doing this so you can actually go and listen to it also sorry go on no also the you know we've talked a lot about the empowerment thing right about was it you know empowerment versus exploitation, can you be a feminist and be a sex worker, blah, blah, blah. And actually, this, it didn't really feel that relevant in this conversation. No.

It didn't feel relevant because it's like, well, why does she have to be a feminist? Also, feminism to her is feminism to her. She doesn't know it to anybody else. Right, right. She sees it as equality. She sees it as empowering. We've got to leave her to that. We've got to respect that.

Yeah. Overwhelmingly, I do. I think if we want to have this conversation, it's got to be with a man because we keep putting way too much on the women at the center of this. Totally. I don't know if we can ever get to the bottom of this conversation, but I thoroughly enjoyed our attempts today. Me too. She's a really, really lovely girl.

And I think this interview will go some way to, to, like, debunk people's misconceptions of her or, like, misconceptions about sex workers in general. I hope so. I hope we can have this conversation with more compassion and kindness going forward. Definitely. Lily features in Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over, Series 6, which is available to stream for free now on you.

Let's dive in. Lily. Hi Lily. Hello. Thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me. Faye asked us nicely not to say that we were excited that you were here, but I can't, we always do that.

We get a bit giddy, but we are excited, so I'm going to say it. That's a good thing, Shorlo. It is. And this particularly, we have been so, so excited. I was thinking about it on the way here. I think we're just a couple of old prudy moms now. And I think we don't know what. up and we've been trying to like work out within ourselves like kind of what's going on with

the industry how much it's all changing how we feel about how much it's all changing and I feel that you're out having some really interesting and important conversations and kind of opening up the landscape like opening up the conversation around like sex work only fans how it all works and I love that and I'm really grateful that you've come to help us because we don't have a clue yeah no I'm ready to answer all your questions Are you really ready, though, because this is Al who spells out SEX when she has to say it in front of my family. We can't say the word sex in my household. It's only ever SEX and that we, yeah.

Right. Yeah. And under extreme circumstances, do we have to name it? Well, maybe there's where the problem started that you can't openly talk about sex. Oh, 100%. Oh, yeah. Culturally. We're a mess.

There's definitely some issues at play for sure. Maybe a chat for a different sofa on a different day. But it would be really interesting. If you wouldn't mind telling us about how you got into it, how you started OnlyFans, how, I mean, yeah, like how you built the empire that you did. So I started out on OnlyFans when I just turned 19 at university and it was just a hobby to me. I honestly, at this point, I mean, this was five years ago. I didn't realize it could be such a huge revenue stream. I honestly didn't even realize you could really make money from it.

I just thought, you know, maybe this is a scam. I willingly signed up and as soon as I started I just absolutely loved it and thought this is my dream job like it was just perfect I thought I'd found a glitch in the matrix where I could make money doing what I loved

and then from there on it's just progressed more I mean I started out doing more like glamour stuff and solo stuff and then it progressed more to porn and now I mean I do these kind of like larger events with the public so yeah it's really progressed

from there. What were you studying at uni? I was doing nutrition. But I didn't go to one lecture because I couldn't even like log on to the Zoom link. So I was just like, oh, fuck this. I'm doing only friends. How long did you try and do both? I didn't go to one lecture. So maybe like a couple weeks. And then did you just go home? Or did you stay at uni? I stayed at the uni accommodation because obviously I was like, oh, it would be fun just to go out and at like a uni student but not do the actual work. Okay. Yeah. It was a glitch in the Matrix. Yeah. I just like, I love What got you on to only fans in the first place? I had heard about it just through social media

and I was so, so curious because I've always been quite sexual as soon as I kind of was like the age of like 13, 14, like sex was always on my mind and I always kind of had like a niggle in my brain that something like this would be for me. And yeah, when I heard about that, I just thought, wow, that's like a great way to start. how was it like doing that i always think this we always talk about it like there's nothing more

embarrassing than when someone you know looks at your instagram account like as an influencer as an instagramer when someone i know looks at my story i'm like don't perceive me don't watch my ads don't look at my stupid outfit of the day like it's always the hardest to do what you do in front of the people that you know right it's always easier to do it in strangers i think to be successful sometimes you have to be a bit cringe even if it's like cringing yourself out and like i had kind of worked a lot on Instagram before. I loved creating content and like doing social media. I think I had about 16,000 followers on Instagram before I even opened up my only fan. So I already had like a little audience there ready to kind of present, you know, my only fans

to and be like, subscribe. Because that is, that is the hardest trying to get people through the door. Yeah. Because there are a lot of creators on there, right? 100%. I mean, you could have the best content in the world, but if no one knows about it, you're not. no one's going to buy it. How does that work like in terms of marketing yourself on that because I honestly have no concept of, you know, it's different on all the platforms. Instagram's different to TikTok and Facebook. I don't know if anyone's trying to do on Facebook, but like the platforms all work differently. How have you, have you had, is it just been like a trial and error or have you just found your stride quite quickly on Onlyfans?

I think it just takes time. I mean, with anything, you just have to keep learning and going and it's like consistency and being five years on the app, that's how I've gotten probably a bit better at how to work it. But I don't think it's so much only fans that you have to master. It's like all the social media's I think is quite hard because it's always changing, like the algorithms and what does well on the apps. But it's changed so fast, like the last couple of years.

Even like the, like, do you call them stunts or challenges that you do, the events that you do in real life? They are changing in some. and significance like month to month it's it's mad yeah you just have to be so on it keeping up with the times it's that tiring yeah well it's for me I love the creativity of it I love coming up with something different and something people haven't seen before and that's where I find the most fun is like just doing stuff that like hasn't been seen before what made you take that leap from just posting on only fans to like taking it out to like

the outside world I guess like real life I honestly just got like really confident from doing only fans and like comfortable with putting that side of me and putting more on me put more out of me online like I just I had so well I just gained so much confidence from doing only fans that I was like because I was kind of doing stuff like this in real life maybe not as extreme as 100 men or whatever but I was very much being very periscuous in my personal life anyway and so I was I was just really excited to share that side of me and show people like what it is I actually really do love and get up to, not just like solo content. And so yeah, I just took the leap through doing like more porn and boy girl and then boy boy girl and then like more anal and then

group sex and stuff like that. But I just took it like every step at a time and just kind of like re-evaluated like do I feel comfortable with this being online forever? Because that's a scary thing, isn't it? Like, the internet is forever. And at some point, did you have to reconcile that? Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah, because it's like, you know, my kids will probably see this and stuff like that.

And you just have to be very, like, comfortable with that. And are you? Yeah. Well, I'm just, like, comfortable with the fact that, like, I don't mind people knowing this about me. Yeah. Like, not necessarily my kids watching it. But, you know, like, everyone I know knows this, that I've done this.

Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. And because your friends and your family, obviously they have to know too. Is that all right? Yeah. Does that feel chill?

Yeah. I mean, my friends already knew this about me. And then with my family, it was like another like conversation we had to have. But at the end of the day, it's like it's my life. Yeah. Yeah. My body and my choice. Yeah.

And you said that they are supportive of you, right? So they're supportive of me, but not necessarily my work. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, I see that distinction. How does that feel for you?

I'm like, I'm really respectful of that. And like, I don't know if it would be slightly weird if they were like cheering me on to do more. You know, I don't know how to put it into words, but like maybe if they were like getting behind the camera or helping me out more. I don't know if that would be like crossing the line a little bit. It's quite nice for you to have that space

where you can like just not have to be. Because I guess to an extent, like it's a persona in that like, you know you show up online you have to be online yeah it's it quite nice to feel to just go home and just be like lily at home 100% and not talk about work or like because i think a lot of like my life revolves around like what are you going up to this week we're weren't da da da da da that's always the questions we're getting asked so when it comes home it's just nice to have like a home-cooked meal and chat about the dogs or go on a walk and that kind of you know like more of a wholesome family vibe yeah have a separation that's yeah i get that you were

But doing only fan stuff and online stuff. And then your name sort of crashed into the mainstream when you did your event, your 100 men, having sex with 100 men in one day event. It made global news, right? And it was like a hugely talked about thing. How was that for your family? Because I guess that takes things to a whole new level, right?

Yeah. I think it was quite hard for them. I mean, you'll see in the documentary, like them talk about their struggles throughout, throughout that and how like the media depicted them because obviously I think they like dragged up some photos and just was like kind of putting them out to be like well you're guys are money grabbers and you're you know just because they're supporting me I don't how do I put this into words they kind of made out that because they were supporting me it meant that they were like

taking money from me and stuff like that and I think that really hurt them and they lost some friends throughout it. And I think it was quite hard on them. I personally feel quite uncomfortable with the fact that your parents are brought up as much as they are and your family are because I think if you were a man, I don't think we'd be doing this. I think we do this a lot when we talk about women and the sexualization of women where we go, oh, it's someone's daughter. And we do it when we talk about sexual violence too. And we always, it's how we humanize women. And we always do this. And we go, it's someone's daughter. It's someone's daughter. It's actually like, well, you are an adult. This isn't hugely relevant. It's not relevant at all,

actually and we wouldn't no one's ever talked about asked hughness parents how he felt about starting playboy and they just kind of left him to it and i i find that and i know we've just done it so i'm literally as problematic as the thing that i'm saying is uncomfortable but because it is a curious thing that we do to go it's like the infantilization of young women where we still see them as a daughter even when they're grown-ups yeah a hundred percent i couldn't agree more it's an annoying and i'm literally just done it to you as well yeah is it's one of the first questions that always Is it? Is it?

And it's like, you know, if a male porn star was sat here, we probably wouldn't be saying the same thing. No, we didn't ask magic mic dances. So we are slap on the wrist for books because we've just done, we've just done what I'm angry with everyone else for doing. Sorry. No, I mean, I think it comes to my head because I'm putting myself in your shoes and thinking like even if this is something that I really wanted to do,

I couldn't because of my family. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That would be the main like barrier to it. So I guess it's just, yeah, it's complicated, isn't it? Definitely. I'm really happy that they're supportive of you, though.

And, like, I do think that's a really good distinction. Like, they're not necessarily supportive of the work, but they're supportive of you, and then ultimately that's what matters. Yeah, yeah, exactly. How did you feel within the media noise when all that was happening? Because I imagine, I certainly feel that when we say things on this podcast, it's super safe. And we say things on our Instagram, it's relatively safe because we know our audience.

but when it gets taken out of context put in the media, it's a completely different thing and it can feel really overwhelming and horrendous, basically. Was that, have you had elements of that within the stunts that you've done within the rhetoric around you online? Yeah, I think it was particularly frustrating because people really took me getting emotional

out of context of the fact that it was regretful and that's not all what it was. And like, I think, I don't know, it was just all quite frustrating because then people were like relating me to, what's that French woman that was raped about 70 times or something like that and it's just like it's just sad because I was like

I'm just so far from that and I just do not want to be at all like putting the same group as her because that is not what I experienced at all for context of people listening you did a documentary with Josh Peters about the hundred men in a day and at the end you were emotional

and you didn't like that element of it I obviously I don't mind the element being in the documentary but when the clip was taken out and put on social media it was related as like I was super regretful and this is disgusting and something I shouldn't have done and that's not what I felt in that moment at all. Can you tell us what you were feeling

and why you were emotional? Like I guess set the record straight. Yeah. Because you're right, that is the discourse around that moment now is like, oh, you know, it was what she just. experienced it was you know that yeah it would be interesting to hear in your own words why you felt emotional at that time it was just a super overwhelming day like all I mean it was like

14 hours of just like stress of like are we going to have um the correct amount of number that I wanted like uh the time was the time limits were getting messed up especially with like I didn't take into consideration because it was the first kind of big event I did where I was like I want to do this amount of number and obviously you have to have a certain time limit for to be able to achieve that and it was obviously awkward with the gentleman who had like traveled far and we had said to them online you each get five minutes but by the time everyone took to come in take their shoes off have a little nata set up the camera it the time was getting on and on and on so towards the end I had to say some guys you know it's going to have to be one two minutes and then we're kind of kind of have this hostile conversation where they're like, well, you said five minutes and I've traveled far and like, and, you know, they're fans of me. So I don't want to disappoint people. And it just felt like a bit of disaster, if I'm honest. Like it was just a very unorganized mess from my behalf. And that's all it was. You know, it was just a really stressful day at work. And, you know,

I'm sure you guys have come home from work before and had a cry. And it doesn't necessarily mean you hate your job and you want to quit and you're so regretful it just means you know it wasn't a good day and like you know I had that cry I left that day and was like oh that was a bit of a mess but we got it done whatever and then I didn't really think about it and then the documentary came out like a month later and then there was this massive like chat online and it just all kind of blew up and like blew out of proportion it was so funny really because like obviously for that whole month after I didn't really think about you know like how I was crying or why I was upset but then like A month later, I was just getting drilled on what kind of happened.

And it was just, yeah, overwhelm them. I think, like, when I watched it, the overwhelming thing for me, and even hearing you speak about it now, it's just like you have, you're having a human reaction to the day that you had. And like, whatever that reaction is, like, all that I felt we were watching was your humanity there in the, like, you didn't want to disappoint anyone. It was logistically difficult. You were having the same human thoughts, feelings, experiences that,

that humans have, but I think maybe what's quite difficult for the discourse online and the way we talk about OnlyFans, the way we talk about women in the industry is we do dehumanize them a bit. So I think it's quite contradictory for people. I think this is where people struggle was seeing your humanity within an industry where we don't, we kind of see it, we don't see the women, we don't see the women's humanity because we do dehumanize them. Yeah. So I think maybe that's why people, because I think it's easy to forget that you're just a young person. Yeah. And you organized all of that. And like there's more to it than just the sex act.

It's like, you know, you had, you were at work. Yeah. Yeah. And you have feelings. Yeah. And they were like, I don't know what you call them, a client's. Yeah. Yeah.

And so you have that business, personal, you know, interaction with them anyway. Yeah. And the people pleasing. Like, I was struck by that because I thought. Same. Because I'm the people pleasing. Same. Yeah.

I was like, I just hear people pleasing there. And I thought, that's a, that's an element of your job that must be very stressful where you want everybody to be happy because it's not your response you have to look after yourself and you're doing your job yeah but you're very intimately close to someone who you kind of need to be happy yeah it's kind of a big pressure yeah yeah I think that's just like I think a learning curve along the way of like I'm not going to please everyone I'm not going to make everyone happy I think especially after doing like lots of these events you just kind of realize that that that's how it is and sometimes you have to like let that go a bit but that was I mean one of my like

first really big events that I did. So it was, yeah, it was just, it was just like something something that I was like a lesson I was taught and it was just blast online. Does that make sense? Like it was just like a learning curve that was just. Yeah. I feel like everyone projected their own feelings about the event onto your reaction. Yeah. That's kind of how it felt. You know, you said in the interview that that day it was like a fantasy for you, right? That was like part of the reason why you'd set it up. Did you enjoy that day? I enjoyed, yeah. I mean, people don't get me wrong, like a lot of the sex was great and it was super fun and like it was just the just the more like actual verbal experiences that I had that made it bad.

It's that the best thing about only fans then. You don't have to have the verbal bits. Yeah. For me, I've always said, you know what, if I could invite someone over and not talk to them, have sex than I'd rather do that than have the conversation yeah because it's just like oh just get a bit awkward sometimes because you have to like especially if you're clabbing you're meeting someone new and that's like the anxiety for me of like oh god I'm meeting someone new not necessarily the sex it's just like having to have that small talk you're meeting a lot of new people as well yeah yeah like and in quick succession yeah like I think you know sex aside like meeting 100 people in a day is exhausted yeah yeah yeah Jesus

Like, that's hectic. That day, if you're okay to keep talking about it, can I just ask you a few more questions? Because I am genuinely, like, I'm intrigued. I'm, like, really fascinated because it's, like, it's not a normal, like, human experience, is it? I'm just, like, I'm fascinated. Did you learn, like, all those men that applied

and the men that you saw and the 100 men in that day, it was 101, right, in that day? Did you, like, did you learn anything about them, from that day that surprised you? That everyone looked different was a different age. Like there's not one type of guy that shows up to these events at all. I think that was quite surprising with me. I think some people have in their head this picture of what kind of guy turns up to my events

and it's just totally not it. I'm very interested in this and I saw a Times interview that you did with Katie Glass who I really like as a journalist. and I the headline and I don't know how much of it you said and how much they wrote but the headline was that you weren't responsible for the men that came to see you or how the men treated you or something along those lines and I thought it was a really interesting reframe because we do talk about these stunts and you are centered obviously Bonnie Blue's been in the news as well and we centered the women in these things and we don't often talk about the men it's been the same with Giselle Pelico in France as well. very, we very regularly centre the women and we don't think about the men. I was struck in the documentary by the, they spoke to two of the men. And one of them had said, oh, if my dad knew I was here, he'd kicked me out. I thought that's, I don't know why that really stayed with me that. Yeah. But I wonder that we don't, we don't spend nearly enough time focusing on the men that come.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, if there wasn't a hundred guys that turn up, I wouldn't, wouldn't have been able to do it that day. If there wasn't an audience or like a kind of want for this content, then, you know, if no one was buying it, then, you know, I maybe wouldn't produce so much of it. Do you ever feel that there is an injustice in the treatment of you, the discourse around you and the sort of silence that surrounds the men that pay for your content and create the need for your content? Yes, and no, because at the end of the day, I put myself online, I put myself out there, like,

and so I don't mind that I kind of, I get this kind of reaction. But, I mean, I definitely see the difference between, like, how many people talk about me and how many people talk about the hundreds of men that show up. Yeah, that annoys me. Like, people make out, like, there's so many of us women these days that are being really promiscuous, me. And it's like, there's only one of me. And there's hundreds of these guys that are doing

this. You know, like it's this big thing that people have made out like, there's so many women like me and Bonnie Blue these days. And it's like, there isn't though. There's just the market. No, right. Yeah, exactly. And it's just the, yeah. It was just a two of you really like doing this sort of thing. That's so interesting. Whereas the audience, you're right, is massive and it's growing all the time. And you wouldn't, you're not making this money in a vacuum. Yeah. you're making it from them. Yeah, I've never thought about that. I've never considered that, actually.

That's so true. There's like no attention on those men. Well, no, I mean, the industry, I always find the discourse around Only Fans really interesting because we talk about how much it's grown. And yes, it's grown because there's big creators making the most of the platform, doing very well within the platform.

But the platform is only successful for all of you because of the people that are subscribing to it, which are by far and away, I mean, for how many... So many more. So many more. For how many women there are, to be a thousand, 10,000 man per woman, right? 100%.

Which is, that's really, like, I don't know, I feel like we handle this conversation because I don't know where I land on it with the feminist angle and with the end, but I can never, we've talked about it loads which is why I'm so excited that you're here. But I feel that we, we do it all the time we trip over ourselves forgetting to bring up

the most relevant part of it at all, which is the demand for what you're doing. Yeah. Which is just super interesting. How do you feel about the feminist question and people asking you, you know, are you a feminist? Is this a feminist?

you know, are you part of a feminist movement? Is this empowering? How do you feel about people asking you that? Do you think it's even relevant or what do you think? I understand the point of view of like we are pushing out some kind of bad connotation. But I also see my perspective of like I am, you know, I'm not saying this is for everyone. This is just for me and this is what I enjoy. And so that's what I do. And I find it empowering to have this control and be able to choose, you know, what I'm doing, who I'm doing. Like now having OnlyFans is what's so great is the marketing is all down to me. The, you know, I've really, it really has cut out the middleman. Like, whereas, you know, if I was a porn star 10 years ago, I would have had a manager or, you know,

like basically a pimp who would tell me what I'm shooting, where I'm going to do it, who. I'm going to be shooting with. Whereas now I feel like it's took back the power so much because I really do have like all creative control over everything. Do you feel within that as your own boss as the generator of the marketing, of the generator of the success, within having all the power,

you also have the responsibility to keep leveling up in a way that I imagine to move the bar yourself it must be quite hard when it's constantly evolving. when the industry that you are in is constantly changing. Yeah. I think it's a difficult one because I feel like everyone in their own industry feels this way, feels the need to like be kind of pushing or doing more or, you know, just leveling up.

Yeah. And so of course I could do feel a certain type of way of like, I want to do something new, but it doesn't necessarily always mean like the numbers, like we need more men or this. I just think like my creativity is like just has to go outside the box. Like I was talking to my like staff earlier like why don't we set up some kind of like stunk of skydive like a naked skydive or like a sex skydive or just something super creative and fun and that's what I love. And yeah, like I said, it doesn't necessarily have to be like the amount of numbers or the extremeness of it, but just something that people haven't seen before. Okay, yeah, that's interesting. And do you feel any pressure to do those things?

Is it purely from a creative angle or do you feel? like in order to not survive on, I guess, thrive on only fans in a, you know, like, because I mean you started five years ago, like now there are, you know, there's so many people on there. Do you feel like you have to keep kind of elevating and coming up and pushing and coming up with something? Yeah, I think slightly, but I think that's what I enjoy about it. Okay. Is that I'm not always doing the same scene every other day, is that it's something new every day and I like coming up with these ideas and kind of putting them into place. Like for me, I mean, when I did porn, it, you know, like just with a guy, like it's fun.

But, you know, if you're doing the same kind of scene every single week, it's just like a little bit mundane for me. This is not your responsibility solely. And this is an annoying thing that, again, I'm going to ask you as a woman at the forefront of an industry that is financed by millions of men. So if you don't have an answer, that is like totally fair enough. But looking at how it is changing culturally, the expectation that or the way in which sex is changing, we're seeing young people seeing porn earlier. We're seeing things being normalized. There's lots of reports about choking being so normalized. And like,

I guess we're more used to extreme sex. And I guess that's because of the accessibility of it and the internet and whatever else. Is that on your mind when you're, doing this sort of thing that's just like, wow, this is, I am reshaping sex and within that, there is a responsibility. Yeah. I mean, first of all, porn is made for adults. It's made for 18 plus. You know, you wouldn't watch fast and viewers to learn how to drive. And so I don't think it's like under our responsibilities as a performer to kind of teach the younger generation what porn is and what it means. I think that's, you know, parents in school. But whereas when I'm putting stuff out on social media, I do feel a need to not try to.

and like glamorize it. And I think that's what is so good about this documentary. It shows like the good, the bad, the ugly about what goes into what I do. It's a really, and I'm annoyed at myself for asking you and for putting it on you because it is not the young girls who are having sex that are the probably. It's the boys, right? It's the expectation of the boys. It's how men behave is shaping how boys are behaving.

And I can never work out where I fall on the empowerment, not empowerment, because I instinctively, I'm like, yes, it's empowering because you're, it's what you want to do. Yeah. And you are in control and it's your platform and it's changing the sex industry in so many ways to make it safer so that you don't have a pimp and all those other things. But then you think about the young people and you think about that. But then I, I have no idea. And I imagine that your thoughts on it change. Yeah.

I'm not, I'm not all like, oh, I'm doing, you know, I do think about everyone now. You know, I am empathetic to younger people and what it's like to grow up with, you know, porn. And I mean, I first saw porn at a young age. It's not like I can't sit here and act like people under 18 don't see it. Yeah, yeah. But I don't always think it's like under our responsibility as an actor or creator to kind of put that to young people. Because, yeah, like I said, I mean, it's made by adults for adults.

Do you have boundaries within your work? I'm sure you do. And are they very like fixed boundaries? Yeah, 100%. There's definitely stuff I wouldn't do. And every time we go on to like a set or like I'm working with people, there's always like a list of do's and don'ts. And we always have that conversation beforehand.

And that's the kind of sad part. It's off camera. So you don't see the consent being said and I yes and knows and things like that because it's, you know, it's not very sexy. But that definitely always happens. was that when you do the real life events do you have instances where people push your boundaries yeah definitely definitely i mean i remind people once if i had to remind you twice you can leave okay give you yeah how do they take that honestly everyone's always usually took it under the chin

like and i get it you know you're in the moment sometimes people forget um and so you know i'll just remind people but yeah no one's ever ever pushed my boundaries i've never had to ask anyone to leave or or anything like that. That's pretty remarkable. Yeah. As well, especially if you're doing a group scene where there are other people because there are other people

to hold each other accountable. Like, you know, when you're doing like a gangbang, people do tend to be quite respectful of other people's space. Because at the end of the day, we're all here for one thing. Like, we're all here, just to have a good time. Yeah.

But I guess when you're doing the events and because no one else is in the room with you, right? Now I do have people in the room. Oh, you do? Yeah. The first event I did. I didn't. Okay.

was that hard because I guess then there is no one to hold these men accountable yeah yeah do you feel scared ever no no I haven't I've always had a security like just outside the room

and at the end of the day as well these men come in and they're the ones who are shy because like they're coming into kind of an unknown situation and it's under my control and like I'm kind of telling them what to do not like barking orders of them

but you know it's kind of they've come into my like territory you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah it's your space yeah I also mean not like necessarily physical safety but going back to like the people pleasing and stuff is it easier having someone in to defer that responsibility to it's it's so much easier coming from someone else yeah I go you know I have my assistant or security just keep keep an eye out and stuff like that yeah much easier coming from as well especially a guy sometimes yes can I ask a really

I tried not to get bogged down in logistics but I literally can't help myself um when it came to hiring an assistant when it comes to hiring an assistant is that like part of the job or like you will need to be in the room whilst i am doing these my shenanigans i mean if they feel uncomfortable with that then they probably shouldn't be in the job no i know but that's what i mean now but you find people for the job it is usually like you should feel comfortable do you put it on like the um like the i don't know it's not quite on indeed no that's like cranesless yeah it's like an only fan's network and you know what there is like a network of people who have kind of like been in the industry or um have worked in social media and it

it's hard to find an assistant because it's a very niche it's incredibly niche yeah yeah no i keep thinking about it so when you find a good one it's like hold on to this one yeah this is like i don't know why i'm asking this is like really personal questions you do not have to have to answer this but like do you find that the work you do i mean you said you've always had like a high sex drive you've always been really sexual. Does the work that you do now ever sort of take away from that? Do you feel like, oh, I don't actually want to have sex in my normal life because I'm like, well, it's the same that, you know, if anyone who has a job, where they, like a chef? Exactly. Exactly. I think for me personally, I think sometimes I'm like, oh, I kind of want a different type of sex. You know,

like sometimes like, you know, you're having this like rough sex or for a little bit on, on set or, I don't know, off camera. And then on camera, you're like, oh, I want some. a little bit more like intimate or just like for me it's just like the different types you know I don't always want to be doing the same kind of sex over and over same thing yeah yeah it's a lot it's a lot I find tired thinking about I find like just like normal boring sex quite tiring I don't know where you must do the energy it's extremely tiring like you get home from a day of like a gang bang you're just like exhaust and so for like eating a big meal like just like had a full body shower.

Well, seeing you in that documentary after that event, the 100 men, I couldn't believe you were still standing. Oh my God. I felt like I'd been hit by a bus the next day. I bet you did. Like, the body was just so aching. Like, it just felt like I'd done exercise for 14 hours, basically. We sort of had.

Yeah. Yeah. You said after it's like, I just really want a Nando's. I was like, see, this is the interesting thing. And I genuinely find this. This is like fascinating. Is seeing the humans within this, like, of course you wanted a Nando. Yeah.

Of course you were tired afterwards. but it's such a like I think we're all just having to recalibrate sex and the sex industry because we're not used to seeing or not used to expecting it yeah expecting you to need the nandoes afterwards do you know what I mean or like you know even having stacey come to your house having Josh come to your house having sharing that part of your life and obviously the only finds happens in your bedroom like you are sharing a huge part of who you are within you know your brand is all of it yeah it's kind of a just confused I'm not confusing But it's just a really interesting thing to watch.

It must be fascinating to be it, to be the thing that we're watching. I think it's sort of confused a lot of people because I've had like a lot of girls recently come up to me and kind of say like, or I've seen messages of them being like, I really resonate with like maybe your TikToks or like your personal life. But like I don't necessarily like understand or agree with like your work. And like I think sometimes just people find it confusing that they can put like two and you together like I'm a human and a normal person and you know I live a long life I have a dog I go shopping like I'm a very normal girl but I also do this very like extreme sex for work I think that is

what people find really hard and they don't know what to like think or like if they respect it or they don't because like yeah I think we're kind of there I mean this was like this is kind of how we ended up wanting to talk to you so badly because we were having this conversation about the the way that that's changed. And it's like, because instinctively it's like we 100% should be supporting whatever your choices are to do that. And I think it is really important that you show the human within it. But I think that's where people just really come undone. And we see that in all areas, not just sex. We see that with, with everybody online with celebrity, particularly with women. We can't bear women being not exactly what we need them to be, right? So we all have

misconceptions or preconceptions about what sex workers look like. And when you contradict that, think you you bring up a lot of people's shit. I think like you are a mirror to a lot of people who have judgments, they've got shame, they've got their own feelings around sex, their own prejudices around sex. And I imagine that the reaction that you elicit from both men and women is very different, but quite intense. Yeah. Which must be quite exhausting to be on the receiving end of. Yeah. Because I imagine you're put, I mean, we're literally doing it, but given so many questions are put to you and so many answers are needed from you, because we're all confused. So we're all trying to get answers, but you don't have to be the person to answer them all.

As I was saying this, I was talking to my husband about this morning, and I was like, yeah, well, you know, like, I think it's family. I think you've said you're feminist and whatever, and that's like, but then you don't have to be. Like, you are, you may be, but you don't have to be. Yeah. But the internet's weird. We want you to be everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's a lot. Yeah, and it's also, I don't have all the answers myself. Like, I'm still like learning and growing and, you know, I don't really know yet. Like, there's no black or white. There's no yes or no wrong or right to it. So it's a difficult one to, like, answer. When you get met with these questions and this confusion from people, whether it's in real life or on the internet,

how does it manifest? Is it generally curiosity and kindness? Or is it charting and judgment? Both. Yeah? Yeah. And how do they feel coming? Like, which do you, can you have you got the patience for either?

Do you want to talk to people? You know what? I mean, I prefer people to talk to me in a respectful way. But like, and so, yeah, I much prefer people just to come with their curious questions, like in a nice pan ask. Yeah, and you've done a lot of interviews, you know, podcasts, TV, newspaper. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like this is someone, you're trying to push me and where you feel uncomfortable? And I think as well, sometimes people fire these questions, but they don't want the answers. They don't want to listen or actually take anything in.

They just kind of want to say their truth. And there's no change in what they think or feel. That's what I found, like doing a lot of research around this. I found that people are asking you questions. You're giving answers and they don't believe your answers. When you say this is my fantasy, this is what I like doing. I enjoy this. I enjoy sex.

I'm doing something that I want to do and I'm monetizing something that I enjoy. We don't really believe it. And we're projecting our own stuff onto it. And that must be frustrating. And it's kind of the same thing as you're crying at the end of that documentary. Everyone said, it's because this has taken a toll on her. And we're not actually listening to what you're saying. And I could go blue in the face explaining it.

But some people just won't listen. That's fine. Like I respect other people's opinions on it and that's fine. But it's just like annoying if you're going to ask the questions at least try and like listen and maybe understand my point of view. Yeah. But the constant dialogue around. it like she's lying she's not being true to herself she's not being all this stuff does it ever

make you question yourself um yeah i think sometimes because sometimes you just do think like is you know because i am such an anomaly is this truly what i think and yeah definitely yeah but i mean it always just comes down to like i just try and like really ground myself and like speak to my friends of my family and stay true to myself rather than kind of listen to other people. It's a lot of noise though. Yeah. Like creating and I think it's really cool that your family can be that safe space for you. But it must be an imp-you must have very good boundaries to be able to not be swayed

by what everybody else has to say. Because often I find the things that hurt the most are the things that I'm insecure about, right? So like I know if I want to talk about something on the internet, I need to be hell sure of it because if people start poking holes, I'm literally like, oh, God, I'll crumble. Like, there I go. My backbone's just gone. So I imagine you have to be very sure of yourself, just because of the size of the audience.

Yeah. Like, when there's that much noise, you have to be sure of who you are within that. Yeah, 100%. But how do you generate that certainty? Or do you just kind of hope? I don't know. You know what? I just truly believe in what I do.

Like, I truly believe it. And that's what it comes down to. but for me I do also think like the noise is part of the reason why it's so big and it does so well and stuff like that so I just have to take that on the chin and realize that's what comes with comes with that with the rise of like the sort of trend I suppose like looking obviously your work and then Bonnie Blue made a lot of headlines this year and I am loathed to ask you how you feel about other creators because it's a really annoying thing that we do with women where it's like oh there's another woman in your industry I'm going to ask how you feel

about her and ask about because it's actually it's not hugely relevant and we don't need to talk about that at all but it's more just as you're watching other creators come up and the industry change it kind of does it feel competitive or gameified in any way where it's sort of like and I imagine that makes it quite fun in a way because the competitiveness is quite a good thing within an industry and if you've got the monopoly I imagine it's quite boring um but is that kind of an odd thing that you're shaping the industry I don't know it's like you're running a race. Are you kind of aware of that as it's happening? Yeah. I think it's hard because I think in a lot of industries, people and the media tend to like pit to women against each other all the time.

Like you just see it so much. Like, you know, whether it's the music industry or, you know, I don't know, actors or anything like that. But, you know, I do just try and like stay in my own race and stay true to myself and like just try and like reassess and talk to my friends, my family and, you know, really get to the bottom of like what I want to do and what. I want to do and what. what it is for me that I enjoy. So I try not to, but I can, yeah, I, I, I resonate with that, that, you know, it can become quite, you know, not competitive because at the end of the day, there's enough users on the app for everyone.

And, you know, it's, it shouldn't be like that at all. And, like, I love the community of this work and the fact that, like, I've made some of my best friends for it. And it's, it's so lovely that, like, you can talk to someone. They can really relate to what, what, it is you're going through. And so I think that that's a really nice thing about it. It's just the community.

Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean about the competitive. It's not the right word. I can't think of what the word I mean is. It's like you feel like you have to keep up. Keep up. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, but that's maybe just, I think that's the interesting thing about Westex. It's like the dichotomy where sex meets the internet. Because it's like it's, you've just got two races running. Or I don't know. It's like it just becomes sort of like another. a commodity in a way. It's like, well, the internet kind of levels everything. And sex just gets part of that. And humans get part of that. And we're all swept up in it all the time. So it's

quite an interesting thing just to what, to, I don't, goodness, where we go. Do you know where we go? Have you got any idea where it's going? Like, literally non. No. But you just go on it. Non, yeah. I tell you guys, I'm excited to do some like different, different things I haven't done before, like in social media. Like, I'm trying to as well, like, focus a little bit on more on my YouTube and like now I've seen the community I've gained from like I do TikTok blogs where I vlog my day and the the community on there is just so so lovely like I've had so many girls reach out and like I recently went on holiday show I be through and like never before if I had so many girls come up to me and say such a lovely things and it's it's so nice to have

that that was just like I want to focus more and like maybe like YouTube or some you know maybe like gaining more like female audience just because like that would be super fun what would you want to do with a female audience like do you want the community just like the is that would there be any like I don't know like is it like an educational thing that you'd want to be part of or is it just like just like just be here for the vibes honestly it's just like a friend thing I mean I don't gain any money from my TikTok vlogs it's not a monetary thing at all it's just like a fun thing I enjoy doing and like it's like a little like diary basically I have of all my days um but there I mean there are definitely like different like revenue things I want to

go down the future like I'd love my own lingerie line like I'd love to do more TV um like there's just so many stuff that like outside of just being a porn star that I would love to explore yeah do you have anything like in the pipeline have you got any more stunts planned or I don't have any more stunts planned for the time being I don't know if like the numbers thing is like a little bit overdone now or like I don't know I don't know if I just feel a bit bored with it you know what i mean like there's only so many men you can book in a day um so maybe like just some something bit more like to go out my creative juices flow it like just something fun like a sex guy die yeah exactly exactly thinking about that sounds logistically horrible

every level i feel like if i could a picture like my pussy will not be dry honestly Like clapping in the wind Your worst day out Like if I could write Alex's worst day out So you've got to be naked You've got to be scared like You've got to be having sex And everyone's going to be filming it

It would be dreadful Oh it's so hectic I've got to stop with my logistics I was going to go back to them again I was like you know what people can work that up But that's the thing Even if it didn't work, it'd be fun to try. Well, that's quite a nice thing that you're making.

Like, I think there is an element as well. It's like, is it making sex more fun. And it does feel within that that there is female empowerment because it's like, you're, like you say, you're calling shots, you're coming up with the ideas. In a way, you're kind of using the men in a way that men have been using women. It just in terms of the content, like, you just need a man. You don't need, you don't need the e-man. You just see it a man.

And it's like, that kind of does flip it on its head a bit. And that's quite like an interesting perspective, which I don't give a lot of, I don't, I haven't given enough thought. I have my head's going so many places thinking. Yeah. In heteronormative sex, we know that like the way that it's always been portrayed, like women don't enjoy sex nearly as much as what they should. And like, so there is a lot that female empowerment can do in this space to change sex

for young people. But within that, do you ever have these conversations about female empowerment within sex? Or is it always the angle that people always come at you with like, well, men are objectifying you and men are going to objectify other women because of that. Like, does it feel like you have the opportunity to make positive? Yeah, 100%. That's something I would love to do as well. Like, just kind of change the game in, like, showing more women, like, you know,

about their, teaching them about their bodies and, like, what they enjoy on a person. Do you think you would be able to get, and again, I'm putting way too much responsibility on you? I'm just thinking you've got a platform within the consent thing. You know, you do that offline when it's coming to having these conversations with the men that you, with your followers, I suppose, is there a possibility? Is there a way that you can have those conversations that's like, this is what women enjoy and this is safe sex and this is, or is that complete a buzzkill? Yeah, I've done like a teach how to like eat out videos before and stuff like that are my only fans. That's cool. Or like, yeah, like a teach you about women's body is like and sold them to men and stuff like that.

Because even men, like, a lot of, like, a lot of men message me and be like, I want to learn how to, you know, make a woman orgasm or something like that. Yeah. So, which is always fun to do. Yeah, I mean, that's not your job, but that's quite a nice thing. Yeah. That you could do, that you are doing. Definitely.

Definitely. To change it. But we don't, that's the annoying, that stuff doesn't make headlines. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But I don't know about, like, what we could do to do it, like, for women. Because obviously that's more like for men. I mean, I think it's a two-sided thing, right?

Because you need, we know that men or young boys, let's, you know, like young boys, young men, you know, they're coming up with an idea of sex and they are therefore making sex perhaps not enjoyable for women. They're making it not safe for women for, you know, whatever reason that bad practices, bad unsafe sex is being normalized. But I think, you know, that's half of the conversation. The other half of the conversation is women aren't taught to enjoy sex. We're not taught, we're not, it's not celebrated when we do. You know, look how we, slut shame, look how we judge. But it feels like a two-pronged thing and they feel like separate issues. Yeah, yeah.

But they also feel like completely contradictory issues. The fact that we're telling men to, well, that we know men are doing it wrong and then we know that women aren't enjoying it. And we can kind of see why, but it's a very confusing time. So I'm just putting more problems on to your place. I'm not even bringing you with questions. I'm just saying those things. As well, sometimes it's like one of the things, I used to do it as well. like, you know, before I did like porn or anything like that,

where you'd maybe sleep with a man, it'd be like, oh, did you orgasm or did you enjoy that? And you'd be like, yeah, because you felt awkward. Like, us women, like, sometimes we're just people pleases and we're like, yeah, that was great. And they really think, fuck me out, I'm shocking awful. Or like, you know, move your hand to the left or you don't verbalize it because, like, you feel awkward.

And sometimes it's just like feeling more comfortable to kind of speak up and tell them what you enjoy. Because at the end of the day as well, they're not mind readers and like sometimes it's fun as well to communicate and talk about that I think that's something that really happens a lot in porn we communicate so much of what we enjoy and like what how you know do this or do that but it doesn't happen in your day to day life like when was the last thing you kind of went to your partner like do that or I don't know so I'm going too much into it but it's no I don't think you are I think it's really interesting and part of it

It is sort of integral to it because it is consent and it is enjoyment. And if women aren't enjoying it, then they shouldn't be having it, right? But I think that can often be lost. Do young girls come to you and ask for advice about becoming only fans, creators or, you know, about going into porn? Yeah. I get it. I used to get it a lot more now because I get quite a lot of DMs. I don't tend to talk to them as much.

but I used to get it a lot and like, honestly, I just have to like voice note with them because I could talk about it for so long about like all the pros and cons of the work. If someone was to come to you, I guess the same age as when you started with only fans and they're saying, what do you think? Do you think I should go into it?

Do you think I should go for it? What would you say? I would say I waited six months thinking about it before I started it. I would definitely say, you know, think about it for months on end because it's such a huge thing it's going to affect you for like the rest of your life.

It's not just a quick fix or quick money. Or yeah, just easy money. You know, this is something that you might not be able to go into your dream job or your family later on in life. And it affects every single relationship in your life. Do you feel like it's been worth it for you? It has for me, but I'm such an anomaly. Like I think the average career on OnlyFans

earns a hundred dollars a month and obviously that is just like not a livable wage at all and that's the thing you see the success story is online and pushed out in the media like me or you know like Sophie rain who are like 46 million in a year or something like that and you just yeah that's the kind of false um blah blah blah blah blah forgot my words yeah it's the name though right like there have to be success stories within only fans and I think because we do only see it in those contexts and we do see it with people like you just doing so well on it we do think it is all like amazing and incredible do you still feel that as an industry there are dangers and there are still huge downfalls and there are

still risks I fear that's slightly what we lose when it is glamorized no through no fault of yours but just through the way that we talk about it I think that will surprise a lot of people but the average wage is a hundred yeah ever earning is a hundred dollars a month a hundred 100% oh it's I think still like hugely dangerous like it's got like I know a huge amount of girls who've had stalkers from it or even just like the prep you know like maybe you feel pressurized when talking to fans to do more or push your boundaries or do something you don't want to or I don't know there's like so much I could talk about the the it's kind of like the bad side of it that people need to be more wary of definitely what do you think it's going to

look like going forward. Good or like good or bad? What the industry as a whole. I don't even know where it is going to go because like think about only think fans started in what like 2015 or 16. 16 sorry no worries. And if you're quick on yeah quick on that a bit of an expert and obviously before that there was nothing kind of as of its kind so I honestly really don't know But the internet is like ever evolving. So that's just such a huge question. I'm so sorry. No, I'm sorry.

I gave it to you. What about your, forgetting what happens within the industry, but what about your place within it? How do you see that? Do you see you continuing within this industry? I've always said I will stop when I stop enjoying it. So whenever that is. But for me, I see myself going at least 10 more years or, you know, even 20.

I mean, personally, I do want a family for myself. Maybe, you know, in 10 years time, when I want kids or something like that, that means slowing down on maybe the pornographic stuff. But I see myself definitely, like, flourishing in the industry, whether, you know, it's a sex toy line or becoming like a porn producer or, you know, maybe like helping other girls by becoming more of like a, not a management, but, you know, like an advisor. Yeah, yeah. just yeah something's still in the industry but you know maybe if I want more of like a family it's slowed down a little bit on the the big porn kind of events yeah fair enough this has been so into I feel like I've got to talk to you all day so interesting thank you so much for joining us you must stop saying sorry it's amazing thank you anyone who wants to know more can watch your

documentary with stacey doole it's called stacey doolee sleeps over season six and it's available to stream for free now on you. Should I delete that as part of the ACAST creator network?