Should I Delete That? - Overthinking with Hayley Morris

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

This week, Em and Alex are joined by iconic TikTok comedian Hayley Morris. You would have seen her nail various different characters: concierge at the illustrious Vagina Hotel, the fake orgasm and of course, her own labia. Hayley breaks taboos in a masterful and hilarious way, making us all feel less alone. She also shares how she got into comedy, with inspiration from her brilliant late father, and why she will never take it for granted...Follow Hayley on TikTok and InstagramPre-order her book "Me vs Brain: An Overthinker's Guide to Life" Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I said to my therapist, I was like talking about something and she was like, I would tell you to act that out with your brain or write it out as a conversation with your brain, but you kind of already do that. And I was like, I mean, I know I am pretty good at therapy. Hello. Hello. Hello, mate.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Oh my God. Speaking of Australian, I am watching Love Island Australia at the moment. Don't judge me. I am.

But not for watching Love Island, Australia. Like, we've been doing the podcast for a year. That accent has been widely hated for a year. Not the Australian accent. Just your interpretation of it. Oh, God. Have we had complaints? Yeah, from me.

Okay, fine. W widely hated. Oh, shit. Offcom have been content. contacted. Honestly, I don't think Offcom would care. Like, would they be like, would complain to the should I think that podcast?

They'd be like, the what? Yeah, literally. Yeah, the hooves. No mind. I've fallen out with this Love Island, like UK Love Island, but Love Island Australia. Like, I just, I don't know, I just really like Australian people.

And they're just so fun. And it's always like, I don't know, they're just upbeat, they're fun. I really like it. Okay. And it's like my bit of escapism at the moment, you know? I enjoy it. Do you watch it in the evening?

So just like, when you, you're doing other things. When I'm doing my makeup. Yeah, because I can't work out when everybody watches things and I really feel like my good this week is that I went to the hairdresser

I got my hair done. It looks really good. Bitching and moaning. It really does. It looks nice and blonde again. Yeah, not yellow. Anyway, when I was at the hairdressers we were having the mandatory chit chat

as one does. Yeah. Which I've turned out intensifies a lot when you're pregnant. Very personal questions that just seemed to be like totally fine and it's like, okay, we can talk about my placentia.

that's okay um but um the other thing is reality tv and i'm like when does everybody have the time like you're in here nine to five every day but then you know you make time to the things that you love yeah but like commute people watch on commute yeah on where they're doing their makeup like i do it when i'm watching my hair as well watching when i'm watching watching watching when i'm blowing when i'm blow drying my hair and i just put subtitles on so i can like still watch the screen even though i can't hear it love that um because can't be a little bit with my own thoughts even for a minute. No, why would you be?

Exactly. It's chaos in there. And yeah, no, there's time. Yeah, make time, make time. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? How you can go through different phases of things. Like, I go to stages of, like, loving, like, news podcasts and really, like, in-depth, like, analysis and what's happening in current affairs and stuff.

And then sometimes I'll go to a stage of, like, I just need the Kardashians to rock my brain. And then sometimes I'm like, I just need silence for myself. And it's really weird trying to. work out what you want of a day. Do you know what? I actually started watching a bit of the Kardashians, the new season on Hulu or whatever it is. It's quite fascinating, isn't it? It is quite fascinating. I'm not up to date. So I started at the beginning of being pregnant season one of the card. No, actually, sorry, my bad is that my sickness is back for context, but we'll get into that. But my, I started, yeah, I started when I was just like not thriving, season five. And

I started five or six and then I was like I need more like I don't understand the dynamics enough and my Google search history from like when was it like June will literally just be like Lamar Oden Chloe and Lamar is Chloe okay like where's Lamar now and I got so invested so then I was like going back I then I went back to season one and now I've probably made I think I'm on like season 13 and I've really fallen off a cliff with it but maybe now the sickness is back I can I can re-emerse, because I need to watch the modern, the current ones. Yeah. Because I see all the clips.

I mean, there's a lot of spoilers in reality, unfortunately. But it's crazy watching it now. Like, Kim looks like, like an AI. She looks like, you know the AI things that people keep posting, which I don't, I'm not quite, I'm not understanding. Actually, that's my bad. That is my bad that people keep posting these AI things. And I'm just confused.

I don't understand what's going on. I don't know where they're coming from. And my feed is full of AI things. Anyway, like last week it was Spotify wrapped, and now it's AI stuff. Anyway, Kim looks like that now. It's crazy. It's like...

I would love to see them in the wild because I can't work out what they actually look like because I think they filtered the TV, right? Oh my God, they've got such a strong beauty filter on there. Fascinating. So strong. Everything is so blurred out. It's like, it's crazy.

Like, I feel like details are completely lost. Take this with a pinch of salt, because I know she's still a Kardashian, so she's still, like, completely unattainable and ridiculous and whatever. But I've noticed Courtney's content recently is much less edited than everybody else's and previously. Yeah. Like, yeah, I've seen, like, I've seen bits of cellulite. I've seen just, like, and I'm not saying, like, her body does not look like my body or anybody with body that I know in real life.

but it's like it's kind of weird she seems to be like and she kind of talked about it she talks about it a little bit on the show I watched an episode where she was saying like that she's put on weight I mean we're talking quite minimal here there's a big dollop of salt in this conversation I think she's I think it's like 10 or like 20 20 pounds

but she gives her weight and it's still you know anyway but she's saying that like since she's been with Travis who just like loves her exactly how how she is and like just makes her feel like so good and so loved I think that's what's been the shift yeah um which is interesting but it's nice because um because she put up a picture and a lot of people commented being like are you pregnant like oh my god she's pregnant and then she put it in her story as being like I just have a tummy like this is what a normal body looks like I was like yeah fast and loose with the word normal but also brother yeah like for like clapping

definitely I think and you can see that on the show as well like her um she just seems a lot less appearance focused than the rest i'm not like saying that's good or bad but she she just is definitely yeah so yeah they are fascinating i need to get back into it maybe that's what i'm going to do today and there was like one point where she was doing this like master cleanse because she does IVF in it they're tried to do IVF but i think they're um she's like 40 so anyway they're having hard time doing it so they did this and you know she does all this crazy like wellness stuff. She did this like cleanse, this like crazy cleanse where they couldn't like eat anything, this blah blah. And like I think the first thing like one of the others asked

was like, have you lost any weight? And she was like, well, that's not the goal. I was like, oh, Courtney, wow. Get it girl. I didn't expect that. Would you like some literature? Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. Oh my God. Let's get into this. It's okay. We've already done your bad. It's the AI characters and my good, which is my hair. Um, the, and, and I've heard bad things about the AIs. Apparently, the app that they are from is stealing artists' work, like, I'm not paying them. Oh, I know there's nothing fun, like, there's nothing fun on social media, that's all I know now, that nothing is fun, because everything is bad. I know, I know, I know, I shared, um, I shared, did you, I don't know if you saw it, I shared this video of, um, um, these two,

girls, two little girls, like just having an absolute blast. This dad is like filming, he's like filming and he puts at the top like, oh, when you're the only sober one at the party. And it's so funny, this little girl on a tiny little horse and she like bops along to the beat. It's just like, I can't stop watching it. And then, like, someone replied to me and was like, you've actually shared like a really bad account here. Like, this is not a good, like, I was like, oh my God, I just, I can't have, we can't have anything. And you go in the comments and it's like, this isn't fair on the horse. The horse shouldn't be being ridden. This isn't fair on the child because you've mentioned a child in a sentence for drinking and this isn't fair because you've posted it

on a phone and a phone's made of metal and plastic and the planet's rotting. And it's your fault for posting the video and the popping horse. I do think the video, the video, like who reposted the video whose name was on the little TikTok thing that I posted, apparently they are really bad. I haven't looked into it. This is actually a very good time that we brought this up because this week we talk about this in today's episode like the difference and we do not I don't think TikTok's good I don't think TikTok's better than Instagram by any stretch

that's why I don't use it but we talk about the difference between Instagram and TikTok and I think if we're not careful Instagram is going to go the way of Facebook in that like it's just totally humorless comments like the comments on Facebook are so

and sorry to all the carons but super carony all the time and that's kind of Instagram's becoming now, that when you look at the TikTok comments, they're normally really jokes. But then if you look at the Instagram comments, it's like, this is incredibly problematic. Oh, damn it. I know. I know. I know. And I do get it. And I don't know. It's just at some point, it's like, I am thinking so hard about everything. Like, we are thinking so hard all the time. And it's good. We should be critically thinking. It's good. It's good to engage

that, but it hurts. That doesn't need critical thought. My brain hurts. I can't, I'm not good at thinking this much. Anyway, anyway, we need to fly through everything else now because as usual, we've fucked it. We've fucked it. Um, you're good. What's your good? My goodness, I've done my hair. Oh, yes, you're hair. Yeah, we've done that. Um, so I have a bad and two awkwards for you. Oh, excellent. Yes. um my bad is that my sickness is back I'm actually don't even want to talk about it it's too annoying I've already moaned about it on

Instagram so much so it's so boring for everyone to listen to but third trimester it just came back well not even anyway just randomly come back like I don't I don't really like the clear cut thing so you're like the first trimester it ends and then second's great and then there's shit again because it hasn't been like that for me

but it because I've had about like four or five weeks respite from the sickness and now that's over um Which is fine. Make it work. You know, not the end of the world. But I haven't been feeling my most stunning. But that's okay.

Yeah, I was sick on Saturday morning so violently. Oh, you shake your sound. No. I weave myself to the point where there was a little puddle on the floor. Oh, God. Oh, God. Alex came in here as I walk and I dealt. I was like, don't look at me.

Don't touch me. It was really bleak. I was like, oh, I have to clean that up. And shave my pajamas like a child. But then somebody gave me a good tip. They said, if you're throwing, if you're being, if you're pissing yourself when you're throwing up, it's a niche problem, but here we are.

Get a little stool so you can sit and vom rather than have to crouch and bomb and it's less pressure on your bladder. So I have now put a little stool in the downstairs loo and I think it is helping. Oh, okay, there you go. There you go. Learn something new every day. Oh, I do feel for you.

So grim. And like feeling sick and being sick, it's just like, oh my God. Like give me flu any fucking day. It's so grim. On the way, though, you know, not far to go. Yeah, yeah. We're grand. Anything bad?

Anything good? Anything good? Tell me something good. My good has completely gone up my head. Is your embryos? Yeah. Yeah. okay so my good but first I want to put like a trigger warning or like a content warning I don't

even know what to say anymore of like IVF stuff because um it's yeah there's been a thing over on Instagram and like I think I don't know I mean this is another thing I don't want to moan about social media all the time this is the thing and this is supposed to be my good and it is my good but I think my content around this stuff like triggered a lot of people and for what it's worth I feel and we can talk about this at later date properly but for what it's worth and I said this to you off you know like in real life as well I think you've been really brave in sharing your content and I think you've been given a really really really unfairly hard time I think people are entitled to you know their own emotions and their own feelings and that includes you and you've

shared your experience very honestly and you haven't made it look easy out like it hasn't looked easy by any stretch. And I think anybody that's saying to you anything to invalidate your experience is incredibly unfair. So I respect you want to give a trigger warning. But I also think you need to respect the fact that you are allowed to speak about it and you are allowed to feel about it however you want. Yeah. And I think like, oh, I mean, I got this like really bad message and you sent me a voice note that I didn't listen to for ages, but basically like I threw my phone in my bedroom and like cried all day and there was just like bad times also the hormone come down is very very real and horrible and when I listened to your message later that day I was like I really

wish I'd listen to that earlier because it was like yeah fuck yeah like I don't know I just felt so bad for sharing suddenly I was like oh my god I've done this really bad thing and like I've like minimised all these people's experiences but for context somebody sent our message and I think you've had a few messages along these lines basically saying that you're minimizing the IVF experience, you're making it look too easy or you're not sharing the hard realities. And I don't think you've ever done that. But I also think you don't, you can't keep apologising for doing it your way. And I think it's given, and I know actually, I've spoken to people in real life, how you're, how you've shared this has given a lot of people a lot of hope and made it feel more

accessible. The thing is, it's like, and I was thinking about it and I was like, okay, so even if I made it look easy, like, what is the problem with that? You know, it's like for people who would, I actually got a lot of messages of people saying like, I'm doing it, it's coming up and like, it actually was like nice to say it that it wasn't, I don't know that I didn't talk about the bad side of it. Like I'm not saying like I, it's, I don't know, it's so complicated. It's so complicated. But like, yeah, at the end of the day, I can. can share what I want and like that you know this is what we said in the in Thursdays is it just me like we all have a responsibility to control what we consume it's not your responsibility because this is also a really hard thing that you're going through physically emotionally and you've because it's you made it more difficult for yourself by deciding to share it and like who the fuck is anybody to tell you how to do this crazy difficult thing like it's bang out of board it. Yeah. Well, I know. It's, it's been, and I'm, I'm going to do it again in January and I think I'll, I'll, like, talk about it on the podcast because I just feel like, I don't know, I just, I love podcast people. I feel like there are people and it's, it's like a really, yeah, yeah, that would be good. But yeah, I feel like, this feels like a much safer space, but I'm just not going to talk about it. I don't think on Instagram in January. Anyway, the good is that we got two embryos, which was like, yeah, it's so cool. And like, for my. ovarian reserve all these names are like for people that don't know like it's so fucking

complicated and I'm still confused by all the abbreviations and shit but my reserve was low it was it's low so this was kind of like best case scenario for us and I just didn't think we were going to get it and like the the waiting afterwards is quite difficult and I was just it's like because like we collected five eggs and it and from there like only a certain amount of fertilised and then only a certain amount make it to like mature then there are all these stages where it drops off along the way and and you get notified of that like as time goes along and I was just you know getting this drop off and I was just like if I end up with nothing out of this after you know it's like so much money obviously it's like

so much money and like all of this just for nothing so when we heard I had two embryos I was just like it felt like the best news ever it felt like waiting for exam results and then yeah you you cut a star baby i literally i like rang my mom straight away before i told dave because dave was still asleep because they rang me as really early and my mom like burst into tears it was so sweet she was like no too um so yeah it was yeah that's my good anyway i've talked about this for long enough but yeah there we go that's my good yeah it's the best good Proud of your little ladies. It was good.

It was good. Yeah. Stunning. That's how we should, and that's how everybody's reaction should be out. This is great news for you and we're all really happy for you. And deep down, even the people that are struggling in themselves are really happy for you

because it's exactly what you deserve and it's great news. Thanks. Yeah. Prat of you. Very happy. Pretty little ovaries. My two little memories. Good hustle everybody.

It's exciting. It is. We'll talk more about that in Jan. Yes. But you're awkwards. I have two. I have two. What a good week.

I know. Not really. So, yeah, too awkwards. By the time this comes out, you will have seen, you might have seen, you might have have unfollowed me because of it. A reel that I put up on Saturday where I filled with Haley and Georgie, Hayley Madigan and Georgie Swallow. Yes.

This improve. And for this content, it was about, like, when you're out, party season, you get the shit, basically. And we were like, what should we do? And I had this really, like, stressful personal day on Monday. and like Georgia was at work and everyone was just incredibly stressed and we didn't plan anything

and so we were all sitting at my house and we were like what shall we do and it was like fuck it let's go buy lose like let's just like well actually we tried to rent one which is it turns out it's not an option I went to bathrooms

I went to the bathroom shop near my house and I was like hi can I um did you have any lose we could just like borrow for an hour and they were like no obviously not and then I was like what's the cheapest one and they were like it's a hundred and 75 pounds. I was like, right, well, that's not going to work, is it? And then, so I was like,

where could I get a really cheap one? And they were like, there's a place up the road. So we went in. And so the woman described it as a bog in a box. I was like, perfect. So we went up to the, um, went up to this plum base place. And, um, we were like, hi, can we have a loo? And then he was like, oh, yeah, gave us one. And then it was like, we can, basically we can expense these loos. And they were much cheapest. We were like, okay, let's have three. So we all went to go and like, buy these loo. This guy was like, what the is wrong with you. Like, why did you see three loos? Like for no reason. And then like, yeah, and then we were like, we're like, we're just going to carry them home. He was like, I don't

understand. Fair enough. Who, who buys three loos? Anyway, went in. And then he was like, do you want to come and see them? So we were like that. And he was already incredibly bemused by us, which was fair enough. And then he was like, come into the back and I'll show them to you before you buy them. Because we didn't buy seats. Because, yeah, what, I mean, what was the point? So it's like, let's just come and see if this is good enough. And he took us in the back and I just wasn't concentrated. I was like, cool, cool, went back. And then he was like, okay, cool, let's go back into the shop and you can buy them. And I followed him. I don't know why I followed. I think he said, let's go. So I was like, okay, let's go. Like, I'll follow him.

And I followed him into the wrong door. And I went behind the counter in Plumbays. And the others were all behind me like, no. And I just was like head down, like whatever. And I looked up and he was like, you can't be in here. And I was like, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. They're like five men behind the counter. I'm like, what? Why am I here? He's like, you can't be here. And then I couldn't get back out. And I tried to open the door,

but there was like a button. And I was like stuck behind the counter. I was like, oh my God, I work here now. This is like terrible. So yeah, it's just really embarrassing. And then we had to carry the Luz home. So yeah, my orchard was I just basically got a job at Plumbase by accident.

And then when I came back, we just, we put, we filmed the Luz near where I live. And I just really wish we'd filmed it near where someone else lived. He was like, he's a, he's a. I cannot. I cannot imagine this. I hope someone did like behind the scenes content of this. They will have done because every time I film anything on my streets I always get sent a video of myself by some by one of my neighbors being like, oh my God, oh my God. Fingers everything crossed because I need this in my life. We'll be on influences in the wild. I mean that would be like fully viral like the three of you with your lose.

So stupid I cannot wait to see this reel I cannot wait It's out on Saturday We've got three reels We've all made a separate one Fucking lost a mind Honestly

I'm like this is a job This is a career I cannot wait A very stupid one Do you have an awkward My awkward very quickly Is that I have Oh my god

My nephew Since he's gone to nursery Like my whole entire family Has never been so ill Then since he started going to nursery because they come back with all sorts. And anyway, we've had a cough. We've had this cough, which is fine, which is annoying.

But I think I've fucked up my pelvic floor. And I think it's because, you know, I always, like, boast. I'm not boast, but, like, I'm always, like, proud of the fact that, like, I pee in the shower. Like, and even though people tell me, like, it's not good for you standing up. Anyway, I've had this cough, and every time I cough, like, a bit of pee wants come out. And at many points, has come out. and I really am having to clench everything whenever I do a cough and that's never happened to me before like I've had coughs before so I think I've

fucked my pelvic floor so now always freeze in the shower yeah so when I go for shower now I make sure I go to the loo before on the loo and then go for a shower squat in the shower if you want to be crazy undignified yeah I could do I could do I just think it's an emergency that's what I do because I'm like that's better than standing to wait. As a non-doctor, non-qualified person, I can confirm without actually confirming because I can't, that standing up and peeing in the shower, ruins your pelvic floor. So there you go. Interesting. My final awkward, I've come with a bonus one today. I was having a serious phone call last night. And I was outside my friend's house and I was on the phone and I was trying to be all

serious. And I leant on a pillar. Yeah. As I was having a serious conference. as I lent the pillars just kept going and it fell I was like oh my god but it was one of those like light pillars like sort of like waist height no not waist height like hip height like black pillow with a lamp with a light with a lamp right they're kind of fancy enough like they're in car parks and fancy car parks right anyway I assumed because it was like plugged into the electrics and it was going to be a sturdy thing and I was wrong and it was so embarrassing because I couldn't be like lose my trail of importantness on the phone

so I just had to like really like style out and then there was a man taking the bins out next to me it was like oh my god and it was like outside his house I was like oh my god I've knocked your pillar down

and it's sort of about it didn't quite clatter it just sort of like took a real like woo sort of ended up at about 40 degrees 30 degrees did you go with it? So then I had to like yeah yeah

but then I kind of caught myself still trying to have the conversation and then I was like trying to pick the pillar back up which is really embarrassing and like get it straight again so it's just really really awkward it was just really embarrassing it's like this just wouldn't happen in the films you know

when they're like they're taking a serious call and they just like lean on a pillar and it's just like woo like you know I know awkward that it was a serious call as well I know yeah it's been you on I've been like whoa but guess what just happened yeah but it wasn't right anyway we've kept these good people for long enough I know we've kept you from the goods because today we have the amazing comedian although I'm just going to say comedian because I don't know why we have to I don't know why the women are French. We have the amazing comedian, Haley Morris. I'm so excited that she came to speak to us.

I'm obsessed with her TikTok and her Instagram. And she's so fun and so real and so great. For one of a better word, because everyone says, because it's like overused now, but she normalises a lot of shit, a lot of stuff that like... A lot of literal shit. A lot of literal shit that we, especially women,

just don't talk about and like don't acknowledge. like happens to us. So yeah, I, since I found her TikToks, I'm like, yeah, there's so much stuff. We'll talk about it. We'll go into it. You'll be pleased to know discharge and poo and periods and stuff like that. She's just brilliant. But she has a good story behind it as well. And it was like nice to chat to her. You know, like we love her TikToks, but it was also nice to chat to like her Haley, the actual person as well. So. Yeah. The human behind the screen. human yeah really nice insight into her life and like what she does and stuff so yeah really good interview we love haley enjoy my friends bye so just for context we've got booer in the studio today

and she's going to be loud because she's going through some stuff but obviously she's called booer so i have my noise cancelling headphones in when i'm walking along and i'm going boo and people look at you and i'm like like what you're doing oh they think i'm just trying to scare them Boo, boo. But really casually. Yeah, boo. Do you think you scared, didn't be? But anyway, hello, welcome to you and your bogeys, Haley. Thank you.

Thanks so much for being here. The boogies are happy to be here. So am I, of course. We're all delighted. If you still, still, boo, I might come and get them out for you. Oh, I don't know what's good. A real image. I was like, do you know what goes through me is, and I know it's necessary, but, you know, the little.

She's looking a fanny, so we know. It's not me, boo. Whoa. You know, the little straws that parents use to get the bogeys out of, out of their kids' nose, and they suck them. What? What? Yes. What?

But it obviously doesn't go into your mouth. It goes into the device, but it's so gross. You're going to do that? No. No. I'm saying, wait, what, that's parenting? Yeah, it's so gross. All I'm imagining is one of those old plastic straws that have the blue lines on.

Yeah, agree. And then just watch the little finger. It goes so through me. But, like, I don't know. They can't breathe out with their nose. mouth of her? No, no, but I don't, never mind. I'll call that.

I don't, don't, don't, no. I said the other day, like, really confidently that she didn't think babies had knees. I mean, so don't trust any of being. No, I don't touch it anymore. No, no, no, no, forget that. Because I were picturing it for so long, just like. Why don't you think they had knees? I think, I think I thought they were born without knees, but I think their kneecaps aren't

developed? They're born with more bones than we are, though, aren't they? I don't know. Babies have more bones than others. I actually can't remember the answer. The answer was, yeah, that they don't have, like, the most fully formed kneecapped in the same way that we have the, like, clunk, clunk, clunk ones. Isn't that? Isn't it? It's just like...

And also, that's all happening inside of meat right now. Massively. I have two bum holes right now. What? Oh, of course. Oh, my gosh. I was like, what? That happened to your pregnancy?

Yeah. Yeah, two fannies. Four nipples. Yeah. But one belly button. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Whoa. Is this how you thought this was going to go. So revelation. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited that you're here because I have been a long-term fan girl. Well, you were like, I think you were the first person that I found on TikTok that I kept finding because I do not understand the algorithm. Then I saw you on Instagram, got really excited.

And then I've stalked to you pretty relentlessly since then to get you to come here today. And I'm really happy that you have. I'm very happy to be here. And you've got a book coming out now. I have. which is mad. It's not mad. It's really cool.

It's like it's something that you can show the boomers that like you can take your TikTok career and make it into. Yeah. Look, carbon coffee. Made from trees just like you like it.

Yeah, exactly. The boomers love that. They love it. It was such a, sorry, totally off track. But last night I went down this rabbit hole on TikTok of like millennials

versus Gen Z. And there's such a divide, isn't there? And apparently there's a thing called the millennial pause. Have you heard it? Yeah. Where we, are you,

millennial? I'm millennial. Are you both millennial? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Al behaves like a boobber, but she is a believer. Yeah, yeah, I'm not a boomer. But when we start recording, we have that like half second pause where we like make sure it's recording and then we go into it, but Gen Z like don't have

that. Anyway, I kind of, it makes me hate being millennial because they hate the middle of us so much. I'm like, right, I've just got to really try and be quite Gen Z now, but I'm so the opposite of Gen Z. We ran so they could walk, though. Like I'm not being funny. Like, they don't know how good they have it.

I watch them with their ficken, and I can't do them. The macarena. The dance. I can do the macaroni actually very well. Thanks. But all their TikTok dances, and they've got their baggy trousers on

and they're like low-waisted and their little bucket hats. And I'm just like, this is so unfair. I look like a butcher when I wear a bucket hat. Tried it. I looked like a beekeeper or a butcher. I was like, it's not really the vibe, is it? No. They just sit atop my head, like the rubber at the pencil

with my head's so big. I'm just not a hat person. Me neither. A be beanie and that would be it. But even then. They just says they're so cool. Yeah. How do you find that though like operating amongst them?

Because you're like very TikTok famous. I feel like I'm in a different algorithm to them. I don't think I get, I don't think Gen Z watch me. I think if they see me they'll probably like, oh, cringe. Like I do feel that. So my cousin, she's Gen Z and she used to call me Chugi, which was a name they had for millennials. that it's very chuggy.

I don't think they use that word anymore. But she said to me, she was like, you're quite chugy. And I was like, don't insult me like that. But I still don't really get what it means. I think it just means you're a millennial. And I was like, well, I am. Oh, okay. Well, it makes me quite sad.

Yeah. We've made the internet what it is for them. We've opened all these gates. We did those stupid little photo booth. Oh, we've had some terrible moments on the internet. We did my space so they could. Did you fly? Vibow? Yes. Did I?

Sharing that love. That was political. What was your, it was the worst? It was the worst. Was it? And having other halves. You had to rank your friends and you were put in, everybody's like, was it top seven or top 15? It was top 16 and then MySpace was top eight, wasn't it? My space was top eight. Yeah, and then Bebo did top 16. Yeah, and you had to really like sell yourself. I remember going into school, I was like rubbing my hands. I was like, I'm pitching. I am.

Very black mirror. Yeah, horrified. But if you'd been moved down one, You were like, they're annoyed at me. What have I done? Yeah, what did I do? Or what did she do to be liked more? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, God, it's horrible. Anyway, sorry, I totally made us digress. Back to your account, the reason we have you on. Like M said, I remember finding you on TikTok and like, I love a deep dive. I love to get obsessed of people. Don't we all. But it doesn't happen very often, but yours was one of those accounts where I found it. And I was like, oh my God.

And I spent like an hour on your account. Really? because you illustrate so perfectly like my brain and a lot of other people's brain and every overthinker's brain in the entire world and I was like this is magic I've never like I've never seen all my thoughts and my intrusive thoughts and like my just constant overthinking like come to life like this in videos that are so funny so yeah really cool absolutely love what you do and like I wonder if you can tell us how that came to be yeah it's really weird because I never actually remember properly how it happened on TikTok and Instagram

but I was doing videos for about I think now it's been 10 years on YouTube where I was uploading at the beginning it was like 2009 when it was quite small not many people making videos I wasn't getting views on there by any means but I was making little videos and I think I had a series called The Poop Diaries which just like goes to show I've always kind of gone down that humour but again it was like that sort of talking about the fact that when we're in a relationship we don't like the other person to know that we poo or fart or go to the toilet or do anything like that. So it started like that on there and then I feel like YouTube's a slightly

different platform with audience and it I people got a bit weird men sort of being like better sizing it and I was like so I stopped. Yeah I was like I don't want to do this so I kind of stopped it also it got to the point where YouTube became more like vlog form so they were looking for longer content and it's quite difficult weekly to do a sketch for 10 minutes on your own so I was like I don't think it's going to work and then kept trying but nothing really happened and then I had COVID in 2020 um in December and I'd been bedbound for two weeks and I was like do you know what I really just want to have one more short of comedy I was like if it doesn't happen this year that's it I'll pack it in but I was like this is I'm just going to go for

and I was trialling a few things on TikTok I was working in a restaurant at the time so I was doing that sort of restaurant thing where like what you're thinking when you're working at a restaurant or when you go to a table or what you'd rather say and then one morning I had an intrusive thought and I was like I'm going to make that a video so I made it a video and it was me with a pair of scissors

cutting a box and then my brain coming in like you could stab yourself with those or something and die and I was like yeah you're actually about that And then when I went to upload it, I was like, people are going to call, like, the cops or the cops? Who am I? Call the cops. They're going to call the cops. I was like, they're going to, someone in a white van is going to show up and take me away.

I was like, I should delete that. But I went and looked at it straight away and it's automatically gone to like, I think it had 100 likes in like a minute, which for me when I had a thousand followers, I was like, what is going on? and then it just like blew up and went really viral on there on TikTok channel on Instagram and I was like maybe I'm not the only one that thinks these things and then just kept going can I just solidify your intrusive thought my best mate Sarah was once opening a box with a pair of scissors

pulled a little too vorously stabbed itself in the stomach and went to hospital oh my god she got stitches and everything no what that's the reason that intruded your brain knew what was up it was yeah That's not really what it is. Yeah, she wasn't opening a box. She was make, she made, she made, she did handbag design. So she was, you know, she makes her jewelry boxes. So she was doing something.

Always go away. Yeah. Yeah. She was actually living, this is how Sarah came back into my life because she was living with a complete fucking sociopath. And she was in hospital for two days. And when she got back, all the blood was still in the kitchen. And the girl was like, well, it's your mess.

And she was like, okay, I need to leave. No. Oh my God. Oh my God. I know. I didn't make that. I'm just going to leave. That's amazing.

I know. So, yeah. why the brain does it though apparently it's like the worst case scenario what your brain doesn't want to happen is the intrusive thought it's really interesting that you say that when you put it on socials you were nervous that people were gonna because we actually talked about intrusive thoughts right and i think it was before we said i was pregnant but i have this terrible intrusive thought that i'd like deliberately drop a baby oh yeah down no no it's really bad down where when you'll get between the train and a platform i'm like that's my worst

nightmare that's when i think about i'm like that's possibly the worst thing that i can think of I remember we said this in an episode, then we had a big chat about it afterwards. Sorry, I don't mean to laugh. It's not good. It's rough, isn't it? It's not good. And we had a big chat about it afterwards,

like all of like, Daisy, who's our producer and Amy, who does our socials. And we all decided it was like, it's just not worth getting cancelled over. You know, so just, we'll come in. Don't bring it up. So we took it out. But it's like, it's, I do feel like, and that's kind of what I love about TikTok is you can have that dog. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's fine there. Yeah. On Instagram, people are just like, I'm really disappointed. I think it's an older generation though on Instagram. We're not older about the chugis are there. The chugis, yeah.

I think it's maybe slightly less open because there are videos I've done on Instagram that have got, let's say, a million views and then on TikTok 30 million views. And I'm like, that's really weird that Instagram were a bit weird about it. But TikTok were like, yeah, that's super not okay. But sure. Yeah. But I think intrusive thoughts, the one that I have a problem with, because whenever I used to share on my, like a question stick or what people had, it's the walking in front of a train one. I feel so nervous saying that one or sharing that one because, you know, obviously, like, quite a lot of people have done that.

And yeah, that feels scary to say. But I think that's a really common one. Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Or like in a car as well, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I'm always like, it's not, it feels like there's like there should be something. in place to like stop me doing there is Al it's called just don't do it yeah yeah and like hopefully like touch what I won't but it always seems like crazy that we're allowed to drive and it's weird isn't it close to not I anyway sorry but I guess you are in every moment that close probably yeah you can just pull the pin on your whole life but then most of mine are pretty chill most of mine like this morning I was walking across millennia bridge and I was just like imagine if I just did like a like an Andy from Devworth Prado I just threw my phone in the 10th And it was like, he-he, and then I was like, oh my God, what if I did?

And so then I had to put a foot in my pocket and zip it up, and I was like, I've got to get off this bridge. Yeah, run. I've got to go. Yeah. But then I feel like a mad person for my entries because I get them badly and then I get the prickly fingers. What? Do you know, I think we've talked about this as well. Oh, that's so interesting.

Yeah, because it's like, I really nearly do it. And then I get the prickly fingers. And I'm like, oh, it's normally in the car when I get like an intruse. I think my brain goes a bit quick sometimes. So then I get them and then I'm like, oh. Yeah. And then my fingers are like, dope. I feel like mine have sort of really gone.

I think since I started making videos about them and since seeing everyone has the same sort of thought process, my brain was like, that's so interesting. Make peace. Yeah. That's so interesting. Probably you have,

it has like been a form of like catharsis, I guess to make peace with it. I said to my therapist, I was like talking about something and she was like, I would tell you to act that out with your brain or write it out as a conversation with your brain, but you kind of already do that.

And I was like, I mean I know I am pretty good at therapy but I was like I feel like I feel like it's helped I feel like it's the only intrusive thoughts I get now are more like I'll be walking along and imagine myself tripping and all my teeth falling out and then I literally my hands I'll be

if I'm holding hands like my boyfriend or something I'd be like and he'd be like what have you just thought just imagine all my teeth falling out big fear yeah that's horrible I do think that's really interesting then what you're saying and it kind of ties back to like Like, we talk about it all the time about stuff. Like, we try and talk about stuff that there is typically a stigma around or like shame around, like, particularly for women.

Yeah. And we always say that like shame, you know, once you pull it out of the darkness, it kind of loses its voice and its power then. And that is, that I do think that's the thing as well is that when you like break down these intrusive thoughts and also when you put, but like even your stuff, seeing your stuff has made me feel so less alone with like so much. And I think that's, it's so powerful. it just feeling like what because I don't know we have all these I mean I'm speaking on behalf everyone but like tell me if this is not true but like I've I grew up with all of these things in my head that I thought like god I'm so weird and I'm so like like disgusting or so gross or like all these things and then you just and I think it's actually TikTok really TikTok and a bit of

Instagram when you just realize that actually people have the same thoughts as you we're completely wired the same yeah and we do the same things as I can't remember which video it was of yours it was quite recently and it was something so specific tampon and poo related the two were combined they're in a video together

I feel like Was it the one where it was like the tamils being pushed out? I love that And it was like putting a face to the tampon which was you and the face to the poo

which is also you like and a face to the period which is also you it does make it so much like like you're right it's like you think you're the only person that happens to it

not only does it are you saying that it happens to the people but like you're really just like putting your face to it in the in a very real sense in a very real sense does that scare you do you know what i was actually thinking about it's early because my brother said to me once he was like do not get scared when you put a story out that however many people are going to see it and i'm like i don't i actually don't when it's me talking to a camera but like last night i uploaded a picture from where i was with one of my friends and all day i've been like this morning i've been like maybe i should delete it maybe i should delete that and i have no idea

why I'm more self-conscious about sharing my real life, as opposed to me just talking about something. It feels like I'm always quite scared of giving people phomo because I've always really struggled with going on the internet and then seeing people do something fun and being in a place where I'm like, I just feel too anxious to go out or I don't feel good and I'm not doing anything. So I'm so aware of that feeling I've had that I am terrified to put that on someone else so I always do my stories in my room or in my flat and then people go do you not go out and I'm like no I do it just don't film anything too scared to upset someone oh that's so but it's so weird yeah yeah I know what you mean but it's it's it you feel like it's because you're playing

like a character I guess it's your comedy as well yeah I guess that's easier to like it's easier to perform I feel like I don't know because I think the stories that I do put up is when I'm feeling like oh that's quite a vulnerable thing that has but it's also quite funny to share because if that's happened to someone else then they'll be like oh that's me as well because I think the one thing I've always said with this with the comedy is like I really want it to make people feel normal whatever normal is but like take the the element of like ah and is that just me out of it if that makes sense don't think any of that made sense no it doesn't make sense it's really nice of you to not share your shit when you're out because I notice that you don't share like I'm just too I think it is just just because I spent quite a few years feeling so anxious. And also I've also been the other end where I shared so much in a braggie way when it was cool to do that, where it was like, oh my God, look at me in like an amazing holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I've got 16 friends on people. Yeah, like, literally, I don't know why. I think it is just I'm so aware of how I felt. Well, so was it like a social anxiety that you had or just like generalized anxiety? I've always had generalised anxiety but I think I really

I think after lockdown especially I was on my own during lockdown and my own in a flat and I think I just got to the point and I actually don't want to go outside like really didn't want to see anyone didn't want to do anything

and then when I did see people doing stuff online I was like oh I'm really missing out but this is my own fault that's the worst it's your own fault it's like oh curses I could pay you dick

fix it. See, I don't mind it when it's my own fault because I'm like, oh, at least I like was asked. Yeah, that it's when you're not asked. Yeah, and then it's worse. Yeah. We've talked about this, haven't we? Like, in summer.

Which is, yeah, that I get stressed out in summer. Because I feel like everyone's getting together all the time. They're always, like, doing stuff. Yeah. And I feel compelled to, like, do stuff. And I'm seeing stuff on Instagram all the time of, like, people doing this and that. And I don't know. It makes me feel like, oh, God, I'm, you know,

I should be doing more or I should be, I don't know, it stresses me out. Yeah, yeah. It really is. But you have quite like a lot of morality then to what you're doing, which is like, and I think that's a responsibility. I don't know, maybe it's because you're a millennial. I think probably it's definitely more so because you're a woman.

But it's kind of like I, do you feel like you have a responsibility to look after your followers and like look after the people that consume your content? I think so. I think because I sort of in my head, the people that follow me are like me, I feel very responsible for them and what they're seeing. But it's definitely a me thing because I look at other people sharing their life and there's not an ounce of me that goes, they shouldn't do that. Like I look at it and I'm like, oh, I want to see more of that. But yeah, I can't put that on my, I can't reverse that to myself

for some reason, which is a really odd thing. But yeah, I definitely feel like I want to protect them and make sure they're like happy. It's really odd of me to think. No, I get it because you're, and like so much of your sketches are like making people feel normal and good. So I guess maybe it's like you don't want to like undo that bit. Yeah. I don't know. Is a part of it wanting to protect your, I mean you have so many followers like millions and millions of people. So I'm thinking like is a part of it wanting to protect your privacy and some or like have control over some kind of privacy that you can like keep to yourself?

Yeah. I think there's certain. I think especially like I won't share. any of my friends or my boyfriend or my family on my social media because they haven't chosen that like if they if I was out with them I think I'd have to go are you all okay with this and I know like my boyfriend wouldn't because of his job he wouldn't want to be on my social media I know that my mum wouldn't want to be in my social media and most my friends would like some of them would probably be okay with it but I think the other half would probably be a bit like it's

a bit intimidating what if someone says something so I tend to just have like a thing where unless someone is already on the internet doing stuff, I won't put them on my story, if that makes sense. Yeah, that's fair enough. I've got friends that are uncomfortable with it. Yeah. This is what I feel like Gen Z aren't good at. Like, my sister's social media, she's Gen Z.

Very scary. And all she wants to do is make her friends look ugly and stupid on social media. No. It's all they do. Whenever she takes a photo of me, she does it on 0.5 Zoom from above with the flash on. And I'm just like, why? Thank you so much.

It's horrible. And it's like, you can tell you something, a really great night and her friends all that really pretty but they don't look it because she's put them on a second story from like a bird's eye view um and I feel I don't know maybe we've got a bit more caution with socials and stuff I don't know or maybe we just overshed so much as teenagers that now we're because I've certain I've had a bit of spin round and I'm just like I want to share less pull back yeah yeah maybe we just over over indulged we really did yeah there was a gobble it was a real oh let's take a camera and a night out

everywhere we go when you're 18 don't document now why 219 photos in an album literally at least four albums of every night on Facebook so bad

yeah from different angles we shared weight that's actually incredibly what we're our parents thinking don't allow that no don't allow that oh god I I cringe at what

I don't think any of those videos or pictures exist anymore though for me no they definitely do I just don't want a minute every birthday they pop up like a friend sharing them and I'm like don't share that don't share that one why have you done this not great I was thinking about that other day I wanted like just delete my Facebook because there's so

much stuff like so many pictures on there but they don't disappear it's just your tag that disappears if someone else has uploaded them they still exist I honestly want to contact everybody I went to school with and been like everyone everyone deactivate your Facebook yeah or just delete every photo that you have of me yeah don't know why just it's actually mad that the whole, because I think a lot of people might say of you as they definitely have of me that I overshare because I put a lot, sometimes I remember my dad freaking out once about me uploading a photo from the Lou because I did an ad for a company about some stitus treatment. Yeah.

No regrets. But I remember that that's a massive overshare. And I think a lot of people might fall into the trap of thinking that you do share your whole life because you share the intimate moments of like a tampon and a person. or whatever, but actually you kind of sound like you really know where your boundaries are and I feel like there's a lot of millennials are like right now. I also, I feel like

sometimes people think they know me in a message and then I have to sort of think if someone said something mean about me or they've messaged me something mean, I'm like, that's absolutely not who I am. Yeah. And I think people watch my sketches and take them as like that's a direct

thing that's exactly how I've done it as a sketch is exactly how it happened to me. I'm like, I'm usually exaggerating it for comedy. Obviously. And it's usually, like, sometimes it's something that's never happened to me, but I'm like, that's a funny idea, I'll write that.

And then they're like, oh my God, I can't believe that happened to you. And I'm like, no, it didn't though. It might happen to me, but that actually hasn't. Yeah, it was comedy. Or like, that's a funny end to a video. And then someone will say, that's really weird that that happened or, but I'm like, no, no, no,

please remember it to sketch. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm like, oh, I feel like I need to maybe put a disclaimer on it sometimes, because it's not everyone. but the odd person then thinks that's fully me and then we'll be like, why are you so worried about that or why are you so X, Y, Z? And I'm like, I'm not, I'm not, it's just comedy.

Yeah, but that's the inaction. It's that of what we say a lot, which is what Jacqueline taught us, and that's my life coach that we have on the podcast because we do live therapy. I love that. That's the level of sharing we've reached. But it's like you can't control other people's reactions to you

and you can't control their narrative, particularly if you're going out to like millions of people all the time. People are going to have ideas about, definitely um but in life that happens like you know your work friends will think you're a different person to your yeah whatever but do you ever have like talking about sharing i'm not going to say oversharing because i don't think it is because i love it but like you know the stuff that you talk about with like sex and poo stuff and tampons and all stuff like that which previously have been considered taboos and still are taboos do is there ever are any ever are there any ever ideas or

is where you're like, I don't know if I want to do this. Like, it's a bit too... Yeah. Are there? There are. Yeah. Because I think there are things... I'll still do them, but it will take me a while to build up to do it.

Because I think there are still things that people will find icky or they won't be comfortable with and they will 100% tell me that. And I think that's completely fair enough. Not everyone is comfortable to talk about these things. But I feel like I've come to a place where I feel like it's... now something I want to do where I'm like I know I do want to stop that being a taboo like discharge no one like talking about discharge and I bought in that character and I had so many so many women messaging me saying that it I shouldn't have done it and seriously yeah and I thought

it's completely it's nothing on me I think it's it's a complete thing on someone else where they they just obviously feel very uncomfortable about it yeah but they should feel uncomfortable Well, quietly go deal with that themselves. Yeah. I think it's almost the fact I don't think that any of our generation had good sex education. Yeah.

So I think discharge to some people is a really gross thing. And they're like, oh, that's so gross. And you shouldn't talk about that. And that should be completely a secret. How did they say it to you? Yeah. There was one woman who messaged me

and kind of said that it was, I think she said it was gross. And I shouldn't be talking about on the internet. and I can't remember but I sent her a message back and said I completely respect that that's how you feel about it but I just think it's good to talk about because you know it happens to all us women

it's very normal and she actually sent me a really nice message back but I do think that there's I mean even who people are uncomfortable talking about and that's really nice of you to have that conversation yeah maybe we're just like I don't know I don't think I'd be that nice I'm a bit too reactionary for that I think it's just

like you've always got to think the other person has been bought up to not I don't, because in some households, people, I mean, in my household, we never spoke about it, but it was never a problem, but I think some households, it's very much stuff that happens to your body and stuff that happens in the bathroom, don't talk to anyone else about it, and that's how they've been brought up. So seeing someone talk about on the internet, it's quite jarring. Like, why are you talking about that? That's a secret. And so I think there are people that are very uncomfortable talking about toilet stuff. But they're not, that uncomfortable,

that they're not going to police you on it this is the thing if you're that uncomfortable don't fucking watch it I see stuff that I'm uncomfortable with like on TikTok all the time but like a drip stick unless it was something that I thought was harmful I wouldn't

yeah I wouldn't pass comment on it it's like policing you because you can do whatever you want at the end of the day you can create whatever content you want to create I do find it really interesting

how people respond to things because I think I don't know I feel like I've got quite a lot of people that feel very comfortable to share their opinions with me which I quite like I quite I quite like that people will be like oh this is how I feel about that and they'll share it with me and then it almost gets into a little conversation in my DMs with them where we both like talk about how we like have different feelings on it and um it's quite

interesting to see the other perspective but I don't think I'd ever comment on some but I'm quite a passive watcher I don't feel I comment on anything. I think we could all do with being a bit more passive with our watching though because I don't think it's your like it's really nice that you're having these conversations in your DMs but I don't think that's your responsibility but we're snoring by the way just in case you can hear something um yeah I don't like necessarily think it's your responsibility to educate these people on why why what you're doing is okay because I like but then hopefully that will change you know so we haven't had very good sex education I think we do need to teach kids how to use the internet and it's a lot of like what's the one above us millennials the

Oh yeah, what are they called? Gen X? They don't get a fun name. They don't deserve a fun name because they're not fun people because they're the ones in the DMs all the time. What age group are Gen X? They're the like 35, no, the one of, fuck. Yeah, you're on the way. No, you'll never move category.

No, you'll never move category. Oh, right, right, okay, yeah. Oh, wow, boomers are born in 46 to 64. Yeah. I thought our parents were booms. Oh, so they are boomers, sorry, yeah. And then 65 to 80 is Gen X. Yeah.

81 to 86 is Millennials. 81 to 96. Gen X flew under the radar, though. They were quite smart. Yeah. Yeah, they're not really talked about. They just use Google. I think boomers are quite

controversial. They've got the opinions that we don't. I think that, personally, I think we are the best generation because I think that we're adaptable. I agree. I feel like we're able to adapt. Yeah, we are.

I think Gen Z are going to end up being a very good generation, though, because I think they're... Look what they've done in America. Yeah. Now they're all voting. Yeah. Good to see.

Like to be it. Discharge. Yeah. Sorry. Just discharge. It wasn't until, and I can't believe I'm saying this. Literally, I'm like in my mid-30s and it wasn't until a couple years ago. And I saw a video on TikTok and it was a girl like showing her discharge, right?

So, okay, a bit gross. But I was like, oh my God, I just, I've never seen anyone talking about that before. And isn't that crazy that we all have discharge? and yet it's this like super taboo. It does feel like the last taboos. It really does. Yeah. I don't know what it is.

And she was talking about like, you know the sticky. Sorry, this is really good. Is this too much? No, it's normal. You know the sticky like clear discharge that you now learn that you get when you're ovulating. Cepical plug, yeah. Yeah. And she, and it was that that she was talking about.

And I was like, my mind was like, I'd never seen anything like it before. It's wild. I watched it like seven times. And I was like, I can't believe I'm seeing this. But also, this is so cool. Yeah. And like, why I've never had a. conversation with my friend my friends before then about discharge i feel like growing up my friends

we all spoke about discharge quite a lot did you yeah because i felt my my friendship group's always been really open with each other and i think one of my friends said it first and was like oh i've got no actually i think where it comes from is you know when you i think it's when you're ovulating but you get the discharge comes out quite thick and fast and you're like oh i think i've just come on yes and then when you come back to the point you're like oh i haven't come on. It's then like, wherever I knows, you've just had a big blob of discharge come out. So then you have to be like, no, it's just discharge. So I think that's where it started in our friendship groups. We've always spoken about it. However, it wasn't until I was

about 26, which, what, three years ago, did I actually find out what discharge was and how it was different at different times of the month? I know. Yeah, I learned that from natural cycles. Wild, absolutely wild. Yeah, you told, you told me, I learned it from you. Yeah, I learned it from natural cycles. And now I'm pregnant and I have loads of discharge and I had to ask Fliss yesterday. Does it get more? So much more. I guess because it's protecting for bacteria. At the beginning it's like you don't know what ways

up because you haven't got periods so you don't really know and then it's kind of and then now I'm in the third trimester and it's like it's not good. Really? Yeah, it's just so much and it's so weird and I had to ask Fliss who's our friend that's just had a baby a couple weeks ago and I was the first time I think I've

brought it up with someone and I was like is this normal because it's a lot she was like, oh yeah, and she was telling me, like, about her experience with it, and then I was reading about it, and people are like, yeah, then you have to wear period pants at the end of pregnancy, because it goes straight through, goes to your leggings. I was like, I just, I had no, because I've just been like watching this go on for a few weeks now, getting more and more, and I'm just like, is this.

What's happening, interesting? So interesting, but I just have no one to ask. I know, and that's the sad thing, isn't it? It's like this very, very normal thing about our body. But you don't know who to talk about it. And it's really not disgusting. I mean, you know, like, it's just, it's disgusting as no one talks about. Or a bogey.

That's why, a bogey. It's like a vaginal bogey. It is. This is like the vagina monolog. That's disgusting. I do not, I've got a phobia of bogeys, so. I have a phobia of discharge. I hate bogeys.

I hate them. Yeah, I don't know what it is. If I see a bogey, like, if someone picks their nose in front of me, they're like, go to flick it somewhere. I'm like, can you please not? Yeah, that's the fucking man. Who's doing that in front of it. I love you say that.

Like, you say that. It happens all the time. It's like people on the bus or like on the cheese and I'm like, oh, I'm going to be so disgusting. I hate it when someone says like about themselves like, have I got a bat in the cake or whatever? And they make me look. They're like, I don't want to. Don't bring me into this. Look in the mirror.

You've got a forward facing camera. You don't need me. That's what it's for. Yeah. Just to look at your bogeys. That is what you do, I guess. You're that friend to people like you're the discharge friend. And then, oh my God.

I'm a discharge pal. The new, your new character of your fake orgasm. With they're like jumping Willie, I have to ask, does that annoy men? Do you get men in the comments? Just for context. Haley's most recent video was about, she was a penis. If you don't, have you ever watched Haley's videos? She's not going to make a lot of, she's a tampon, she's a penis, she's a dishard.

She's very versatile. But you were playing the, the, basic, sex, basically. And then a Willie not doing it right. And then you just brought out the fake orgasm to make it end. so I think I kind of avoid comments after a certain time because I don't want to see I've actually I had to delete quite a lot of comments on TikTok on that video because it gets into a debate where people aren't very nice and then it feels like they're shaming other people so I'm like as soon as you start shaming someone else I'm like you're gone just remove that

comment because if someone came on there and they were a bit self-conscious as a man or a woman and saw that I would feel like the worst I just feel so awful for that person and and I never want my humour to come across as it's picking on someone or putting someone down that's why I try and do it in a comical way that kind of like would hopefully make people laugh but as far as I've seen it's not upset anyone it sparked a debate where people are like

wouldn't you just tell your partner which absolutely like that's what theoretically though I've always done that I think faking an orgasm for me is just me missing out on something but as a younger woman I definitely did do that just for it to sort of, you know, and you're like, I was going on a while and it's not happening for me. Well, yeah, woo! Here we go.

It's done, yay. But, no, I think, but some people aren't that confident. Some people don't have that confidence to have that conversation with a partner, or if it's someone that they don't know that well, or if they've, you know, they're not like a one-off partner, but, yeah, a one-off partner, they might not know how to say or how to, like, be like, could you finish me off afterwards? or yeah well i mean and people who have just grown up with a lot of shame around sex and a very

like a non-existent conversation around sex they don't know even what they should be asking for they don't even know that that's that's not good to do that so again sex education the lack of it yeah very loud that's another thing you do is sex toy ads and i've seen them on instagram and i'm presumed that they're on ticot as well i don't use ticot as much and i don't need to use it as much now i have you on instagram because you were like you're my draw um yeah so you've work with Love Honey and Lilo and you've done some really fun you actually all your ads are really good because you bring in the product in like such a like I want to say natural but like this sketched scene where you like play a dump on it's not necessarily natural but you know what I mean

um they work really well but I want I wonder how that goes like how the reaction is to that because you've got the combined thing of talking about sex which is taboo and then making money which is taboo um so how are people about the ads that you do well I think with that ads in general, I try to make them as close to a normal sketch as possible. So that is, I find that ads take me triple the time than a regular video would do because I'm, I'm like, right, how do I integrate that without someone watching it and going, oh, this isn't what I'd signed up for? Because I want someone to watch it and go, oh, it's just felt like a normal, I didn't even know that was an ad, but for it still to be an ad. Yeah. So there's like a fine line

between that um but i feel like as well i'm just i don't know what i don't know i feel like i just try in very seamlessly put it in there but i also um always make sure there's some humor around it or some sort of taboo to be bust or something so i think i did one um once where it was like when your brain's going off thinking about something else yeah and then bringing in um the product as like the way to stop that yeah um was that Ethical porn? Dipsy. Dipsy? Yeah.

See, your ads work, because I remember that. I love that. I love that. But how are people in the comments? They're fine. Yeah? Yeah. That's good. As I said, I stopped reading them after it.

Like, I'll read them for a full day and I'll reply as much as I can. But then after that, I sort of come away from it because I don't want to see anything bad. Yeah, yeah. I'll take it way too personally. Do you still? Yeah, definitely. I think if it's something about my work or if it's something about me, I take it really personally because it's like I really pride myself in trying to do the best I can.

So if someone that attacks that, I'm like, I suck. Or if someone says something about how I look or how I am as a person, obviously that hurts. Like I guess that happens to everyone though, right? Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't hurt me anymore about how I look. But more, because I'm just like, I don't know, I've, I've had some therapy. But the stuff about your work is just like.

like and it feels really personal because you do put in no other no other walk of life I guess with being a comedian or working on social media in general it's like if if Alex my my Alex is doing a bad job or whatever like any of like anyone who's got a normal job is doing a bad job they can just fix how they do that job yeah if you're doing a bad job it's because like you're failing kind of as you you suck yeah yeah there's nothing to hide behind yeah you can't be like oh sorry it's just you know you're on stage Yeah, Excel was playing up. You can't say that.

It was just like, oh, sorry, my... You're done. She's like, I'm done, you're done. She's like, you need to get in there. She's like, no, here. She's lifting her leg up. She's like, there you go. Sorry to jump around.

And I can't remember if I actually know this or not. But what did you do before, like, what was your job before TikTok? Before he started comedy sketching. I'm really bad at explaining this. I feel like I just did loads of different jobs. but I've always worked two jobs really so I'd always either worked

before this happened I've worked at Disney as a bartender which kind of Disney? The Orlando one fun so fun so I lost my job during COVID but I'd also done that previously so I did 2016 to 17 and then a gap in the middle where I was working in social media and as a waitress in the evening and then went back to Disney

did that and then came back and then worked in the hospital at HR and also was a waitress. You do have very good Disney charisma. Like, Fliss worked at Disneyland, and it's just, there's just a good energy. A good energy. You're a good positive person. It was really fun.

Yeah, was it? It was a really good place to, like, I don't know, just everyone's so happy. See, this is why, Al, you don't have Disney energy. I don't think you'd like working there. I think everyone would annoy you. But, like, oh, everyone's so nice. We found that I worked around adults.

I do like Disney, yeah. I was serving adults. all the time so I wasn't around kids I'm I think I'm a bit awkward around kids because I'm always like your parents okay with me like like you know when you're like my boyfriend's nephews I'm always like do you think that I don't know how to speak to children or like are you sort of like don't don't like it's a bit exposing yeah you just feel really vulnerable and I'm like am I doing it wrong yeah yeah yeah embarrassing if you do get it wrong as well because kids they don't have braces to be like also they can smell desperation yeah and that's

learned. I'm like, like me, please like me. And they're like, go. And they're like, no, let's not, you weirdo. And I'm like, oh. We're over it. Yeah, and then you feel embarrassed. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. A girl rolled her eyes at me on the tube today. I'd say she was three or four. So I stuck my tongue out of her. And then I was like, what am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing? And the parents, they're like, yeah, looking at me. They're like, no, the middle finger. Oh, my God.

Imagine that at Disney World, having to be like, hello, princess. I feel like the biggest knob. I'm like, hello, princess, and the parent was like, you are so weird. Like, I just don't know how to talk to kids. Such a cool thing to do, though. Yeah, it was great. I had such a good time. My friend did that, and she came back with all these, like, Disney secrets. Oh, you do lie all the secrets.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, apparently, I don't know if this is true anymore, she did it ages ago. Apparently, if anyone asks you for something, you can't say no. Like, you're not allowed to say no. I definitely did. Okay, okay. This used to get felt up by all. all the dads.

Okay. What? She was in the costumes. She was Cinderella. That's so gross. Yeah, she said it's horrible. She's dreaded the photos because dad's been always... There was a problem with Ariel.

She had to change. The costume she had before was like a bikini top. And then a man was quite drunk, put his arm around her. It was in, like, well, I don't know if it was in the news. But it basically, her whole costume had changed to be covering more. And I was like, that is so sad. So sad. Like, how awful.

Oh, my God. Fuckers. Yeah. It also happens with the men as well. It's not just the princesses, yeah. Oh, gross. It's like the, it happens on both things. Yeah, oh my God, yeah.

Oh, my God, like, let's let me through it. You would get sued. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All of this is alleged. Like, we're slightly below the radar here. Yeah, you know, we're not taking this to the BBC. We're just, we're just speculating. Yeah.

Okay, it's going to a podcast. So you were, okay, so you were kind of like doing a few different jobs, but was comedy always like, the thing that you want like yeah what you want like your end goal always yeah so I think my dad he always used to write on the side of his job sitcoms and he used to

there was a forum I remember he used to write on it where you'd send in jokes for them to use on like panel shows and things oh that's cool so he always did stuff like that and we've just been brought up me and my brother have been brought up around my dad very much he used to write sketches for us to perform just because it was like fun for us to do there's probably video somewhere of it but that was always us growing up so I think subconsciously that's always been like a joy for me and I think because

that is such a great part of my childhood as I got older I always wanted to do that again um which is how it like manifested in YouTube and then everything else but it's always been what I've wanted to do but it's been so hard to get into and I've always been broke that's why I've always done two jobs so now I'm like it feels I feel like the most grateful person in the world to have these platforms and be able to do what I do and to just have one job well it's like a lot like a lot of jobs in one but it just feels so nice to be able to like finally do what I want to do

and be able to be like financially secure whereas before I've always been like living paycheck to paycheck struggling and just sort of like what I just like everyone really yeah yeah and that is the beauty of social media isn't it is that like things like comedy is so hard

to get into especially for women right yeah so social media kind of offers a bit more of a level playing ground and just gives a bit, you know. Yeah, definitely. Did you ever do live comedy? No. Oh my God. It's difficult because I think we need to do live comedy.

It sort of needs to be your full-time thing because you're kind of always having to come up with new material and you're kind of writing stuff that's probably between like 10 and 15 minutes or even an hour if you're doing like a special or something. But most comics I know that do live shows, they put everything into it and they're always working on it and I feel like I wouldn't have the time to do that also I am shit in front of people like I panic I'm freeze yeah I've done like one live thing and I was so nervous and it I think I made

people uncomfortable watching me really it's like it's not nice to watch someone that's there like trying to get their words hi guys and everyone's like oh my god you know you love watching comedy. I love watching comedy. Oh, I love it. I'm so nervous. Leave the room. No, exactly. I'm so nervous for the comedians. I love being made to laugh and I love but I'm so nervous for them. It's like I've got too much empathy. So I'm watching it. I'm saying, are they okay? Are they? What if people don't find them funny? And then I find it so anxiety inducing that people might not find them funny that I then can't find them funny even if that hilarious because I'm so worried that's what everyone else is thinking. I'm like, you enjoying

this? Are we all enjoying this? Good. Like, you show them that we love them? Yeah, I just feel so nervous for all of them and particularly women because I feel like it's so much harder I feel like already women have something to prove when they come up. I think especially when it's a room full of men and an older group of men they typically don't really accept female comics

at Edinburgh. I watched loads of shows at Edinburgh this year and I do feel like the women completely trump the men. Really? Yeah, they're really, really good acts but yeah, I get what you mean. It is nerve-wracking, watching people and being worried for I think it's because the first comedy show I went to was at the comedy store, The Gong Night.

Oh, which Alex... That's it then. He's taking it to me three times. It's horrible. And I don't find it funny. What's the gong night? It's like a comedian has to come out and they've got a minute. No, you have to stay up for there for three minutes.

Yeah. They give the panels, they give a pad, sorry, paddle to three people in the audience to read the room, either green or red, right? Oh, my God. And if they're not funny within that time and a gong goes up, one of the, you know, if you're reading the room someone put the paddle up and if they get three paddles then they're out. But in order to

us to tell the paddler that we want them off, we have to boo. So somebody's up there and it's either silence or boos until they're off. Great character building though. Honestly It's like it kills me and it's relentless because it's every three minutes so you're literally sitting there and then

one's done a right and you're like oh thank God they've done okay and then the next one's up and it's like oh god I've got to do it again. I think no the type of people that do that have confident or I've really prepared to fail. So I feel like it's easier to watch. Yeah, because I think you're only putting yourself up there if you're

confident enough for people to boo you. Like if I were up there, I'd be coming off, they'd gong me and I'd be like, I can't do it anymore. I'd be quite like, everything's ruined. Whereas like, I need this type of person that go up there and be like, eh, whatever, that was a bit of fun. Yeah, yeah.

They just don't care. Yeah, yeah. And I think it's probably the best place a girl as a comic because you're always going to fail it like no matter who you are and how long you've done it there are going to be jokes that do not land for you has there been one like a sketch that hasn't landed or like a video that you've taken down or like is there a fail that comes up and I'm just going to be so jealous and proud of her because we do that's why we named the podcast literally should I delete that we take it we take stuff down all the time no there is there's definitely there's definitely videos where I'm like that didn't really go

so well and my boyfriend were just getting in undated like loads of WhatsApp from me being like it didn't go well should I delete it it's not very good so yeah 100% you're like oh I've ruined my career yeah oh it's crushing isn't it and sometimes it's not your fault sometimes it's just the algorithm oh it's definitely my fault oh it's definitely my people are like that's just you but it must be so hard to like because okay you come up with the initial idea and you can gauge whether that's funny or not otherwise you wouldn't like be going with the idea and it's funny but then once you get into it it must be so hard to have perspective on like is this funny do you send it to anyone yeah so i hate because it's the same as like writing my book i've read

it so many times i hate my book but then i'll give it to someone to read and they'll be like this is brilliant love it yeah um same with the video as soon as i've got to the point where it's finished and ready to go i'm like this sucks why would i put this out into the world and then i send it to my boyfriend and a group of i've got um several little groups on WhatsApp that i'll send it to just not my family um and then i'll get feedback from them and they're like oh i love it or that's great definitely post it like really relate do you take like feedback do they offer feedback that's like this isn't maybe change this yeah and how does that feel um i actually really welcome it and i usually say be really brutal with me but if i don't have time if it's like friday morning at 1130 and i don't

have time to reshoot i'm like don't be brutal just tell me yes or no tell me what i want to hear yeah yeah yeah um But no, if someone says to me, like, oh, I think it would be better if you cut that bit or maybe deliver that line differently. I'd be like, perfect. I can redo that. Because I would rather know than put it out and then second guess it or someone say it for me and be in the comments like, oh, it would have been funnier if you did that. And then I'm like, ah, you're right.

You're so right. I love that community though. I really, I do really welcome my even on, even if it is something that after is, I'm like, shit, I should have done that. I do love when someone's like, oh, it would have been funnier if you did this. And I'm like, you are so right. And I love that you've sort of got to the, you've been with me on this for a while now that you know how the format is to know that that would have been funnier, I don't know. Brutal, but also, yeah, good, yeah.

And I suppose like it's good to, yeah, learn as well. I don't know my skin's crawling because I can't take, I can't take any kind of criticism. It's hard, though, isn't it? So hard, so hard. Yeah, because it's an intrusive thought from someone else. Yeah. Like it's an intrusive piece of information. It's like, take, no.

criticism is mad isn't it my least favorite thing in the whole world is when someone says like I'm just giving you some constructive criticism I didn't ask for it I don't need what are you constructing like I'm you know a full person because I think that sometimes you get that in the DMs it's like I'm just saying this to be helpful and it's like it's not fucking helping it's crushing now I'm crying yeah exactly playing devil's advocate it's the same thing I'm like just I don't think we needed this but that's like when you have an argument though and someone goes, I'm just going to play devil's advocate for the other side. And I'm like, I want comfort, not solutions.

Yeah, yeah. Just comfort me. Just tell me I'm right, but I'm not. So if Butler said to me once that the devil doesn't need an advocate because he's the devil. And now and whenever anybody says, I'm playing devil's advocate, I'm like, he doesn't need one, babe, don't say it, whatever this is, it's unnecessary. I love that. You sound very mature at taking your, taking, not mature. Yes, mature.

I'm sticking with it. You sound very mature for taking the criticism and, like, very, very, very, very, very, very, well-rounded that you can't take that criticism and just be like, okay, because being an anxious person, being an anxious person, generally people with an anxious temperament aren't so good at taking criticism or whatever, but you're very good at taking stuff on board. Yeah, I imagine you respond rather than react, which is the goal. This is my dad. When I was growing up, I did, I went to dance school and we also did, I don't know if stage coach was like everywhere, right? Yeah, I did stage coach.

So we did shows all the time. It's like stagecoach was shows every six weeks and then dancing was once a year. And I remember getting in the car, sitting in the back, my mom and dad in the front, my brother next to me. And then my parents would give us

really constructive criticism in a nice way. Because I'd be like, what did you think? And they'd be like, oh, it was amazing. Say all the things you want to hear. And then they'd be like,

you were quite shy and you can tell you were quite shy. And it would be really good if you were more confident next time. So they've always done that and it always sat really, well with my brother and I and I feel like we really grew from that so that now when I'm older when I do get that criticism don't get me wrong sometimes I'm like in a bad mood and I'm like

that's crushed me but usually I can take it and be like okay I can learn from that next time I'll do this or next time I'll do that and also with the reaction thing so many times when I was younger get an email that didn't like at work and I would react and then afterwards I'd be like how do I unsend it oh my god I sounded really mean or like that was really rude of me to respond like that and then I'd have to go and find the person and be like I'm so sorry if I came across really didn't mean it that way so as I've got older I'm just like just take five minutes sit with it and then try and see someone else's because we're all humans we all been bought up completely differently really so I think I've always just sort of now been in that place where I'm like

right we aren't the same person you've got a different background to me I've had you know a different upbringing and I've got a brother you might have a sister and so we might just react very differently or have different opinions but um yeah am i right in thinking that you lost your dad a couple of years ago last year yeah and he was a really big part of your coming to your comedy yeah huge part yeah gosh that must have been really hard to keep i don't know being showing up online when you're going to do something because you don't share that so much that side of it was no it was quite difficult because it was yeah april 2021 when he passed away and it was when my channel was just growing like everything like my Instagram and TikTok were just it was growing really really rapidly

and I actually really regret this but when he first died the day he died I uploaded a video I'd already had it ready and I was like I have to upload something otherwise because I was it was at that point where I was doing stories every day and uploading every other day and I thought if I don't upload I'm going to have to talk about it so I was like I'm going to have to just act normal and upload it and I actually think that is messed up that I did that and I didn't I didn't take time to mourn I didn't take any time off even the day of the funeral or uploaded a video and I was like that feels so sociopathic that I did that but my brain was just like distracting me it was like don't focus on the fact your dad's died focus on the fact that you've got

to work and do this and I don't I really didn't handle it well um and now I'm in therapy I'm like I did not give myself time to grieve but I also I feel like I'm really I feel like I really hope he's proud of me because he always wanted this he was always like the first to call me in the morning be like you've gained a hundred followers on um subscribers on youtube or whatever when i was younger i mean he's had he had dementia for like six years so he obviously didn't know anything that was happening when it was happening but um i was always like i feel like he'd be really proud now to like so i'm going to cry to like no that's happening but yeah like i i i just even with the book when penguin approached me and were like um would

you like to write a book? I was like, I would love to write a book. And especially, like, my dad always wanted to publish a book. So now I feel like I'm getting to do the thing he never got to do. So yeah, I'm like really proud of that. I read that in an interview that you'd done, that he always wanted to publish a book. And now you were publishing your book. And I was like, that's such a special, like, full circle moment. And God, he would be like so proud. I hope so. I mean, I don't think he'd write a book that talks about, like, vaginas and queuing. But it would have probably been really weird if he had. Why are you talking about queuing?

Stop to normalise that. But yeah. Oh no, that's really special. Thank you for sharing that with us. And yeah, that must have been a really difficult time. And you say like, but I can, it sounds like work became your coping mechanism. 100%. I don't know about like any previous losses.

But if you haven't had previous losses, it's like you don't know how to deal with that. No. With a loss of that size as well. That's just, that's so rough. I think it was, it was really. really difficult as well because it was a double grieving process like when you have someone with dementia you lose them first yeah and then you just got the shell and then you lose them again and it's a bit like your brain can't quite wrap its head around what's going on right very odd yeah I still think I've 100% grieved it but no no I think it's amazing that you can still be funny and have that for him as well like if you know humor was something that was really important to him and yeah to your upbringing it's lovely that you can carry that like forever for him did yeah I like I'm I think he'd be really proud of you I hope so I did when he did first get diagnosed a dementia though for two years I did not look at comedy or do

comedy or touch it because I just couldn't I looked back at sketches I'd done on YouTube and I was like how did I even come up with that so it's funny what your brain does yeah yeah well I mean then like we said amazing that you now have a book that's going to be published can you briefly just tell us about it and give us some details. Yeah, of course. I feel like I'm really bad at describing it. So it's called Me vs. Brain and Overtinkers Guide to Life. And it's basically, I've done all the overthinking so you don't have to.

So it's like the life of a chronic overthinker. And it's a comedy book. There are some serious elements, obviously, about my dad and sort of how your brain and how I reacted to that. but mainly it's talking about those taboos and things that have happened to me in regards to those taboos and like a little bit of dating as an overthinker and yeah it's basically in a nutshell of that which is really badly described as a chronic fellow chronic overthinker I need a copy of your book immediately I love that I hope people like it it's just the whole thing is I just want to make people laugh and make people normal again so make people normal make people feel

I want to fix you all. You're all far. I won't fix anyone with that book, but hopefully people can recognise themselves and enjoy it. And it's out in Feb of next year. Yes. Very exciting. We will put a link to pre-order in the show notes. You pre-order a signed copy in the UK, I believe.

Yeah. Very nice. Can we get signed copies? Absolutely. If we pre-order them. Okay, yeah, yeah, pre-order. Not special. You are special.

Thank you, Lely. Thank you so much for being here. We'll also need the link to your social media as if people will don't follow you already but we'll leave the link to socials in the show next as well thank you so much for having me it's been so fun should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network