Should I Delete That? - Revenge against revenge porn with Georgia Harrison

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

This week on the podcast, the girls meet influencer and reality TV star Georgia Harrison. Em and Alex wanted to talk to Georgia about how, over the past few years, she has been living a nightmare after falling victim to revenge porn. Her ex, sex offender and fellow reality TV star, Stephen Bear, non-consensually recorded him and Georgia having sex. He spread the video across the internet, subsequently profiting from it, which became an all-consuming battle for Georgia as she fought to not only remove the video, but to have Bear convicted. The girls get the details of this betrayal, the brave steps Georgia took to prosecute and how it felt when she finally saw justice. You can follow Georgia on Instagram @georgialouiseharrisonFind out more about Refuge here: https://www.refuge.org.uk/You can call the UK's National Domestic Abuse Hotline on 0808 2000 247or access their live chat Monday to Friday, 3–10pm at www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It was so highly spread and highly spoken about and it was just like my absolute worst nightmare. It's just like your world's caving in and you can't escape it in the virtual world but I couldn't escape it in reality either because everyone knew who I was. It was like insane. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Good Monday morning. Good morning. Good Monday to you. Good Monday to you. Good Monday to you. Em has just been witnessed to my awkward.

It's the worst thing I've ever seen in the whole entire life. Do you know what? It was actually fucking mortifying. It was so bad. I don't know if we didn't have that on record, on camera. We are in a room with a lot of cameras. We are doing, you might have seen it on Instagram last week because we have shared nothing else apart from this.

We've been pre-recording a lot of podcast stuff because I am imminently birthing a baby. And so we've been doing a lot of podcast guest interviews and we interviewed an amazing guy today. had a really lovely time. And as he went to leave, what did you do, Alex Lyd? So, he went to hug M, but I thought he was hugging me. It was ambiguous. I think he was hugging both of us. Do you? I think he had two arms like, he's quite tall guy. So I think it was like one under each wing. That was the plan. Okay. I think

that's what he envisioned. That's what he envisaged. Okay. And well, the way I interpreted it is I thought it was my hug. I intercepted M's hug. So I went the wrong. way with my head, realized what I was doing, put my head the other way. However, he'd realize what was happening and he'd put his head that way. And basically, we almost snogged, right? And I was so close to his face that I was literally fucking cross-eyed. And it was so embarrassing. And as it happened, you were acknowledging it. You were like, oh, sorry. I said, oh, we never kissed. And it was fucking awful. Oh, we nearly kissed. It was awful. It was awful. And then you went all red and sweaty and it was adorable.

I loved it. But my awkward was today as well. Go on. I'm just going to make you feel better. I'm just going to level it from the off. Hit me. I had to put a little tube up my bum. Oh my God.

It's been, okay. It's been five minutes since we talked about your bum hole, so go on. We're back again. I had to take a rectal swab today. And you know what, Alex is, my Alex, such an asshole. Pardon the pun. But they, you have to label it. it, right? And I was getting very confused by the thing because I had to take a vaginal swab and

a rectal swab. Yeah. A lot of swabs. I hate how much I share. I hate how much I share. It's intimate. It's intimate. I just, I hate that I'm telling you this. Anywho, I am. I love it. And I said, what do you label them? Like, what's the medical term? I said, what do I have to put on this thing? And I was like, take this seriously. I'm late for work. I've got to shove a chew up my ass. Like, I'm in no mood for laughing around. And he was like, vaginal. I was like, vaginal and then the next one he put enous, which is how he says anus, because he just thinks it's funny. So I wrote anus and he was like, why did you write anus? And it's like, because you said anus. And he's like, you should have written rectal. I was like, for fuck's sake. You definitely

written rectal. Well, I wrote anus. I show now that people doing the test. It says an anus. Even I know that it's most definitely rectal, not an anus. You know, when you're so stressed and really like, no, I was not finding the humour in it. It's like, I don't want to put a saw about my bum hole. Just anus as well. I don't know. And I said that, as I said it, I've never written the word anus down before.

And then Alex was like, why have you written the word anus? I was like, you taught me to write the word anus. Did you write it properly? A-N-U-S, yes. A-N-U-S. Oh no. It's spelled within a ho.

No, it's not. It is. It's A-N-O-U-S. No, I'm just kidding you. I'm just winding you up, sorry. Are you a poor face out? Sorry, sorry. You're a poor face.

A-N-O-S. I'm so, we're not. And you know, the worst thing is, like, Alex has put this kid in me, right? Like, I did not, this is not an immaculate concession. Yeah, like, it's inseminated me with her. And I couldn't be happy and he's giving me the greatest gift of life, right? But there's some stuff I'm like, it does feel unfair that this is all landed on me. It feels hugely unfair.

And so this morning, I was like, you know what, if I've got to do this, you have to do it with me. Just be part of this with me, you know, be here for me. For the vaginal one He said, yeah, yeah, fine And I did that And then the rectal one And he read it out so quickly And then you put the tube

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah And then just slam the bathroom door And I was like, what? And that was that And then he just left me And I was like, oh, okay So you didn't do it? Well, I did do it

But he read the instruction so quickly I had to do it myself I didn't get him to do it for me Oh, I thought that's what you were expecting I just wanted him in the room Yeah, yeah, yeah I wanted to make high contact with him As I put it out my barn

Swilled it around Yeah Anyway, so I don't think I did it for long enough, but seconds go very slowly when you've got something up your palm. That's what I learnt today. You are so welcome. So that was nice. That was good. Yeah, that's my awkward. Should you take nothing else from this podcast, let it be that. Time goes slowly when you've got something up your house.

My bad, I drove into my driveway and it wasn't my driveway. I just drove into the wrong, it was one next door. You didn't? Yeah. What a loser? Yeah, I know. And she was in the living room, yeah. Yeah, and I was like, I'm so sorry. This is not my house.

This is not the right driveway. And I was just like... Oh, and you had to reverse out. Of course I did. And you don't like to do that. I was just going to park up. So I had to fucking reverse out. Which I imagined was very stressful for you.

Yeah. Wow. And then, okay, I was looking behind me, obviously as I was reversing. That's what you have to do. You have to look behind you. Check nothing's there. But you're kind of on like this main place. I don't even know what it is.

I think you should be a driving instructor. Do you think? I think so too. There was nothing behind me. I was reversing. I was creeping out. It was late. So the lights were on.

The people creeped. This poor woman's living room was like lit up with my car. Reversing out. And then suddenly I banged into something. Oh no. And all of a sudden my siren going, you know the sensors going, da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

And I was like, what have I done? I get out of the car. There's no cat, no dog, which was my initial fear. But a human man. No. The only thing that was there was a man walking away from it. So I think I hit a man.

I was joking when I said that I think I hit I mean he was entirely unscathed I watched him for like 20 seconds just to make sure he's walking okay and he was and I was like you should have at least

stay to be like I don't know like you can't just run away I've just hit you Sarah did that when she got hit by car she ran away maybe it's a thing

I hit you run it doesn't make sense but he did he just look right I was like I was like I don't know if I should be telling this story

I hit you run That's a whole new meeting Awful five minutes It's a hit and walk He just hit Hit and stroll Literally A bump in a stroll

It's a different thing I've hit I hit something I know I felt the hit And I heard my senses I hit something And it was a man It was just this man walking away

I was like oh my god Terrible five minutes Did not enjoy that This is just why I don't like driving, right? This is why no one likes you driving. Pull up into the wrong drive. This poor old woman was like, what's wrong?

Like, am I being arrested? Like, she doesn't drive. She doesn't have a car. I can't believe you hit him. Oh, my God, so good. And then I hit a man. Oh, sorry. And then I hit a man.

My bad. Oh, well, my bad is my good. My bad stem from my good. My good is that after, I mean, panic. I still haven't packed my hospital back. We are. I am now behind on NHS guidelines as to like the weeks that they tell you

to pack your hospital bag in and like get everything ready I'm not I'm not thriving with it but that's okay I'll get there I've made a spreadsheet I've made another fucking spreadsheet I know I've made another

something's happening anyway made another spreadsheet so what I think subliminally what I think is subconsciously is that I've made this list so that if I go into labour early, I can give the list to Alex and be like, hey, can you pack this bag and meet me in the hospital? So it's smart. Anyway, but I'm getting stuff ready. Last Minute.com. This is

how I thrive. And we're getting the nurse, like a nursery, like her room done. And today we're getting it wallpaper. It's this morning we were getting a wallpaper and it looked so cute. That's my good. My bad. The lovely guy who I love who came to put the wallpaper. Nicest guy ever. I've known him before because he's done some stuff around the house before. Niceest guy ever. This morning he did a really big poo in the bathroom and I don't think he knew I was upstairs and I had that really awkward thing where you're upstairs and you don't, you haven't made your presence known. I don't know if you've ever had it when someone's come into your house like somebody has come in like, I don't know, a business person or a builder or something has come into the house and you're upstairs and you should have come down originally and said hi, but you didn't. So now you're like hiding and then it's like at some point I'm going to have to come down. Did you escape from the window? Well, I was, in this late stage of pregnancy, I was upstairs, I was doing my makeup, I was like, oh, I'll start playing some music to let them know to my presence,

but they couldn't hear me because they were playing their own music. And then one of them did a poo, and then they kept making all these jokes about the poo, and I was like, I'm right next to you, I can hear you. And it was like, oh, it's just in a big poo, like, oh, it's really funny pooing in other people's houses. And they were all making jokes about the poo, and I was like, oh, I've got to come, I'm going to be late. So I had to come downstairs, past the poo and the pooers, and it smelled so bad. The poo is a poo. and my sense of smell

and the whole house just oh it's just so embarrassing That is so gross I mean you've got to go when you've got to go but also My mum has a Christmas tree guy right Who she's known for years And he always brings the Christmas tree

It's like he's like a local guy And he delivers a Christmas tree And he's done it for like 20 years And without fail every year He comes into the house Gives the Christmas tree And has a shit And I think it's like

It's a ritual It's like tradition We just know. We didn't know he's going to have a poo. I know. Here's a tree. Where's your lo? Here's a tree.

Yeah, he's a tree and stick. I enjoy that. Very much. So, yeah, that's my bad. My house just smells a stranger's poo. I just feel like it's really, and I'm sick so often. I'm like, don't deface my loos like this. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, well. My good. My good is to do with your husband. What has he done? What has he done? What has he done? What has he done?

So we went to your baby shower last week. Oh, yes, we did. Yeah, and I sat next to Alex. Great, love him. We had a great chat. And we were talking about, everyone was looking about how old they were. And Alex, I'm talking about a lot of people around the table were turning 30 this year. And then Alex turned to me and said, are you turning 30 this year?

No, no. And it just made me so happy because I was like, he's never listened to anything I've said. And I don't want to be like, I know. you know, age positivity and age confidence and stuff. But it just made me feel cool. Like, I'm turning 35 this year, you know. Yeah. And it just made me feel really cool to think

that he thought I was in my 20s still. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. I know. I know what you mean. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. There are plenty of uncool people in their 20s, but. I don't necessarily want to be in my 20s again, but I don't mind appearing like I am. Yeah. I understand.

Exactly. So thank you. Thank you, Alexandra. I mean, I just, for what it's worth, He can't tell the difference between centimetres and inches. You didn't have to. There was no qualification needed. Thanks a lot.

Well, you're 29 and I've put a stick up my bum. And now we have an amazing interview. We spoke to Georgia Harrison today, who recently took her ex-boyfriend, Stephen Bear, to court over revenge porn charges. And before Christmas, he was found guilty. We spoke to her about revenge porn, about what it's like being a victim of a crime like this, about being a woman online and how the reaction has been to everything that she's been through, what the court case was like.

It was an amazing conversation and we're really grateful to her for coming to talk to us. For anybody who is experiencing domestic violence or who would like advice and support, we are leaving the link to refuge in the show notes and I'm going to read out the Domestic Abuse Helpline. now. That is 0808-200247. Hi, Georgia. Hi. Thanks so much for being here with us today. Thanks for coming in.

How are you? I'm good. How are you girls? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I had to, my car was, like, iced over for like half an hour this morning, so that wasn't fun. But apart from that, well, good.

You can get a spray for that? Can you? Yeah, it's like a D-Rton spray. So, like, you don't need warm water or anything, you just spray it, and then you still get the credit card out. goes. Ah, okay, I needed that. Yeah.

I had like pans of hot water, like going out to throw at the car. At some point, I actually threw the pan at the car by accident, so anyway, I'm derailing this. I'm sorry, you had to go through that. I just thought, actually, we will get into the series stuff in a minute, but I just thought Love Island started again, hasn't it? I think it started again last night. Do you watch it?

Because, like, I love it, but I actually missed last night, I'll be honest, because I've just started going with Thrones, weird, really missed the boat. But I, you know, when you're getting frustrated. in watching the next episode, but I'm going to catch up on Love Island today. Okay. Do you still enjoy it? Yeah, I do. Do you?

Did you guys watch it? No, but I'm doing Yellowstone like you're doing Game of Thrones and I'm just, I'm busy. I can't take my time away. I let out. Because obviously that's, when did you, when were you on Love Island? So I was on, I'm 28 now. I was 21 when I went on Love Island. Oh my God.

Seven years ago. How scary is that? And I was on like, I think, I was on the third one. No. I was on the third series. Oh my God. That's a. It's like a decade of South Ireland.

Oh my God. You're like a veteran. Yeah, I am. I really am, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Does that just seem like worlds away now? Like, it doesn't, it doesn't. It seems like yesterday.

And then it also, like, when you think of what happened from, what's happened in my life from now to then, then it seems like worlds away. Right. Yeah, I bet. Shit, seven years. Yeah. I've gone myself into a real spin there. I'm like, oh my God. I know.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Yeah, I do. Well, speaking of, of, you know, what's happening in your life since. and you've had a really traumatic couple of years, and we were very delighted to hear the verdict recently. Your ex-partner, Stephen Bear, was found guilty of sharing revenge porn against you. As much as you are willing to share, are you able to tell us what happened? Yeah, so, I mean, I've told the story a few times,

so I have got quite used to telling it, but basically I hadn't seen him for a while, and it was like, I think I'd been on a night out with a friend who also knew him and we just ended up like sending some messages me and my friend were going to go over to his after we'd been to a party, didn't end up going and then woke up the next morning but the conversation carried on with Ben

so he basically said oh do you want to come over and have a cup of tea or whatever and if I'm being honest during that time I'd sort of like not have my heart broken but I'd cross the line with a friend and they'd sort of you know you end up sleeping with a friend doesn't always happen but sometimes it does

when you've been friends for a while and to me it wasn't a big deal and then it just completely ruined our friendship like I never ended up speaking to him anymore and I was just feeling like really lonely and a bit like worthless at the time I know it sounds silly but not that it makes an excuse for it but that's sort of where my head was at when I just thought

bear was saying you want to come over for a cup of tea I was hung over I was feeling a bit down about this situation that had been going on for about a month and I just thought what's the worst that can happen going over seeing an ex and just sort of having a cup of tea we now know what the worst is that can happen and that was basically what it's transpired to be but one thing led to another we ended up going for lunch and then we did end up engaging in a sexual act in the garden which without me knowing was filmed on cameras that he had in the garden that basically they

covered the whole outside of the garden and also the inside of the kitchen and I just think I've never known anyone to have cameras in their garden and their kitchen it's weird and even if you were to have that maybe you are worried about security you've had some sort of an issue i know for a fact if i'm having sex in front of something that's my recording device maybe one minute two minutes it's possible that you would be like oh you know it's just sit my mind babe like quickly a better guy inside there's a camera there but 20 minutes you're fully aware that you've got them cameras there and you're fully aware that it's being recorded, and I wasn't told throughout the whole experience that it was until after.

And during that stage, I was just sort of, like, manipulated into thinking I could trust him and that he had respect for me, which, looking back now, was just completely foolish, and I just felt like I was getting gas-lighted, obviously. At what point did he tell you that it was recorded? So it was about an hour after, something like that, and we were still both, like, really drunk as well, and he was just like, oh, babe, I've just really... I realise a bit of it might have been caught on CCTV. And I'm like, what do you mean?

Do you know what I mean, Bear? I'm like, if it's been caught on CCTV, I need to see it. Because now, like, a million things are rushing through my head. Like, is the footage clear? What does it look like? Where was the camera? How close was it to me? Is there sound on it?

Like, I just don't know. And he ended up showing me it. Obviously, we didn't watch the whole thing through, but he sort of showed me, like, what it was like. And at this point, I'm still just being a bit, like, light-hearted. like I've known this man for a long time I've spent a lot of time with him done a lot for him and I just didn't

think even though it was wrong it was done in like a malicious way I don't know and it wasn't until later that evening that I saw him send it to someone on his phone that I actually had like I realised the severity of the situation and that's when like I started

crying and I sort of explained to him like if you were to distribute this even to one person I will go to the police and I will get you done for what's called revenge porn and we had like a complete stark conversation about what revenge porn is that you can go to prison

I was crying his demeanour then changed to sort of like he probably hadn't seen me like that and he just sort of come down and started like reassuring me that I was being silly and he understood the consequences and he would never do that to me and you know I didn't think he would do it to me because it's such an evil thing to do

but I didn't think he would do it to himself I knew for a fact that that would be like career crushing, life changing. And at the time, even though he was seen, you know, in the public as a bit of a dickhead. I don't know what other words you use. He wasn't, you know, he still had a career in television and I didn't think he would do that to me or himself. But you saw him like that night, like physically send it to somebody else. Yeah. And then after that he told you you were being silly and he wouldn't send it to any way.

So I saw him send it. Like, you know, like, on WhatsApp, you can sort of see the, you can see, like, a picture of a video that sent. So I knew it was that. And he just sort of said, like, it was, I can't remember exactly who it was, but it was, like, a friend or someone he was really close with. And he was like, oh, babe, don't be silly. I only send it to someone, so they would never send it to anyone. Like, I trust them. And I was like, you don't understand.

Like, you need to delete it and not send it to anyone. Yeah. Like, this is a really big deal. And he just sort of acted, like, the person that he had sent it to was someone he never thought would send it to anyone else. and that he wouldn't do that to me and then he sort of explained to me like he wouldn't do it to himself he understands he could go to prison

and he understands the consequences and I just sort of believed him Of course you did though Yeah Like you know you trust him you know him Like yeah And also like you say the stakes were high for him as well The stakes were high for him

And he'd said he'd delete it But I knew for well he still would have had it On the CCTV drive Yeah of course Like yeah I can't believe he so brazenly sent it to someone in front of you. And he even sent it at all.

Like, why was he, you know, like, if a friend sent me a video with them, I'd be like, what are you doing? If you send me a video of you having, I'd be like, Alex, are you okay? What just happened? It's just weird. It's so weird.

It's weird. And I've always said, like, ever since, I've been on telly since I was 19 now, and I've always been really paranoid about doing any sort of, like, explicit filming with a partner. Like, I've had partners that I do trust, and I'm more for, like,

having sexual fun in the bedroom and stuff, whatever and I don't judge people that do but like I've seen a lot of celebrities get hacked by the cloud and like I've seen some like poor innocent girls have like even pictures they've took on their own just to like check out their private parts come out just from them getting hacked

so I've always been really careful with what I do take so to have that like choice taken away from me and be filmed without even asking on my permission was just like out of this world because it's something I've never felt comfortable doing anyway with a partner let alone him. So what

happened after you left that day? What happened between then and everything else? Between getting out there between you deciding to go to the police? So I immediately got home and obviously I was like talking to my girls about it like explaining what happened and at this point I'd still had like a really good day and night. I know it sounds silly but even though that had happened I didn't have like the fear in me but I messaged him that morning and said please don't send that video to anyone and he didn't answer me all day. So that's when I started talking to my mum and the girl was saying like, you know, I'm a bit worried, like, what do I do?

But then that night, he ended up answering my message and sound like, don't be silly. And I met up with him that night. And I think I stayed at his that night and we was fine. But to be honest, like, in terms of him, it's never someone that I saw having a serious relationship with. Like, the only reason I really was around there at the time was just because I wasn't feeling good in myself and I was trying to find someone that would make me feel good. it wasn't because I thought something would progress.

And we basically stayed friends over the next couple of months. I went to his launch for his sunbed shop, still said alone when I saw him. It was just as it always had been. Not a relationship, but we definitely didn't have a fallout. And then I started hearing he'd been showing people. And I'd made it so clear to him the implications it would have on me if he'd done that. And I was basically, I was at a party. And my friend's boyfriend was like, look, I need to talk to you.

and took me in the other room and he was like I don't know how to say this but like basically a boy I know has told me that he showed him a video of you in this sexual act and I was just like you know and he's like but obviously it's not you and I was like it is me

you know what I mean and that's when like the fear was just in me I was like that's it like he's showing people and I didn't do anything that evening because I was drunk and I just didn't really know what to do and the next day I reached out to his brother who is like a family man and I really do still have respect for and get along with and I knew he sort of looked up to him and I thought if he won't listen to me which he isn't maybe he'll listen to someone one of the only people he has respect for and at this point he's only showing people so from what I'm aware nobody else has the footage it's still sort of contained into a small group and even though I feel sick that someone's watching that it's like nobody knows and yeah racy when I spoke to his brother he said he would speak to him

And he then explained it to him in the way that I explained it to him that you know you can go to prison it's going to ruin your life it's going to ruin our family's lives and affect everyone around you but he still obviously didn't listen but now again I'm sleeping at night

thinking it's fine he's spoken to his brother he now actually understands and it's not going to happen again like this is it so what happened from then so his brother reassured you that it was okay and then what happened from there? So then another couple of months passed and then I think I went to the Maldives with my

mum and then lockdown happened so me and my mum went to the Maldives for a week we ended up extending for three weeks because a lockdown a second lockdown in England happened and I lived on my own so the first lockdown really did affect my mental health and I was like I just don't think I can do it again so my mum flew home to the Maldives and I flew to Dubai so I had to like pretty much just pick a country because my dad was in Dubai it was either go to England or go to by so I flew there but pretty much on my own I knew a couple of people there but I was living on my own and just like figuring it out and then when I was there I started hearing boys saying they'd seen it as well so like it's building up and up inside of me like the anger that this

thing's just so out of my control and also every time I reference it I'm getting called a liar and like this isn't true but I know it's true because so many people have said it now which is just frustrating and then I was at like a I was at like a pool party or something like that in the daytime. I was with Ellie Brown from North Island actually. And I got a screenshot from someone in America

of the videos and have you seen this going around? And he didn't say it was me but he said he'd seen it on his profile and I think the person that sent it to me knew it was me but didn't reference it was me

maybe they were just checking and that was it then I knew that it had been sent from someone in America and it was officially global and I was just absolutely like shattered and I knew it was completely out of my control this was a fan as well of a TV show that we'd been on so I ended up just like putting on my answer story in the end if

anyone and I didn't explain obviously the video at first has seen a video of me and the man in question on any sort of online platform please send some evidence to this email address which was my mum's at the time, because my mum was my agent, because I fired my agent and hired my mum, which is a terrible idea at that point in my life. Not timing. Yeah, terrible timing. And then we literally got like hundreds of emails, of evidence, but also that then I didn't realise it was on porn hub and everything at this point.

I had no idea, like no idea, but it had been circulating for months, and that's how scary the web is. Like, there can be things out there of you, and you don't even know, because the people that are watching these sort of things aren't people who would highlight it but me then putting it on my Insta story asking for evidence is then something that highlighted the situation

to other people so then people started searching for it in droves I think Georgia Harrison sex tape became the most search thing on Google that week Grazzi had done like an article about it and that's when it spread around like friends, ex-partners, colleagues like everyone I ever knew

had seen it. I had like 62 million impressions on my Instagram that week i've only got a million not only but i've only got a million followers so it was so highly spread and highly spoken about and it was just like my absolute worst nightmare it's just like your world's caving in and you can't escape it in the virtual world but i couldn't escape it in reality either because everyone knew who i was it was like insane at what point because he put the footage on his only fans as well didn't he at what point did he do that so when we started getting the evidence in that's when we realized

that it had been on the only fans and I think it had been on there for about a month fucking hell yeah well what we first saw was a screenshot of him promoting it at 50% off and it says if anyone wants to come watch me fucking this bitch or something in my garden oh my god then yeah

then sign up now and you get 50% off and it was a screenshot of him on top of me in the garden oh I'm so sorry for you and I just felt sick I bet you did yeah that's utterly horrific Oh my God And that's so sorry for you That's just the worst

And that's when I realised He hadn't just sent it to one person He'd sent it to someone He'd sent it to someone He'd actually sold it And it's like To think that you were in a situation With someone that you love and trust

And you felt safe with And the whole time they were just filming you To make money And you said before That every time you'd brought it up You'd been called a liar Was that by him? But, well, yeah, he'd said that, like, he didn't have a copy of it, and I was, like, completely lying.

And when it actually surfaced, he got on his Instagram, and he basically started saying he hadn't seen me in two years since Thailand. Then he was saying it was another girl in the video. Then he was mimicking me crying. He was going, ooh, and, like, mimicking me, laughing and saying that I'm doing all of this for attention. And, you know, I tried to, like, silence this for so many months. and like, I don't know, in a way it was awful and then in a way it was like almost the relief of people knowing because I'd had to go through knowing that one day

it might come out for so long and actually the hurdle of, you know, speaking to my dad speaking to my mum and everyone sort of finally knowing what he'd done to me at least it was out there and finally like all of my fears had just come out and it's not as bad as you think it's going to be in your head you know my family were very very supportive and I think the fear of like how they would feel

had built up for a very long time yeah and of course you only have it from one side in that you don't get to feel like a victim when you're you feel like you're fighting all these fires and you've got all this fear but when when it does happen and people can see what's happened to you yeah and it's like the gaslighting stops and people you know like all the cards are down you can just see the situation for what it is and that's that you've been like targeted and hurt and abused by somebody and you can then be supported rather than feeling that you have to protect yourself so much

and I think the hardest like the hardest thing to swallow throughout was the lack of empathy like knowing that like I'm on my own and I'm like literally spending nights having panic attacks literally just crying it was like grieving like you think you're okay

and then suddenly you're just like in an actual state and you can't believe what's happened to you and meanwhile the person that's done that to you just has absolutely like not an ounce of remorse and like sometimes like you question yourself like should I be feeling this way like like but you know I should because what happened was awful did you have like direct contact with him since when since you found out that it was it really like got out there I know you said you spoke to his brother but with him

did you have direct contact so when I spoke to his brother I blocked him at that point because I knew that like speaking to him wasn't going to get anywhere and then when it all actually surfaced he sent me a message saying babe I know you're angry um but like let's because he was in Dubai as well but let's just meet up and talk about it I understand that you're angry let's meet up and talk I'm not a bad person and it was like you know things go through your head because at this stage I'm like is there a way of me getting proof could I meet up and talk to him to try and like prove that he'd done it and I was just like no like I'm done I'm calling the police like there's absolutely nothing you can say that will ever make this right and I

firmly believe that the police will be able to get to the bottom of it and prove it without me having to have any more contact with him. So I just completely ignored that and then began collating my evidence. So you called the police in the UK, not in Dubai? No, I was in Dubai, but I called the police in the UK, yeah. And I'd love to talk, because obviously you've been through it now and you've, thankfully, just before Christmas, you got the verdict that you deserve. But you've had to do this all so publicly. And I wanted to ask what the... reaction because we don't live in a fair world and it's rigged against women and it's like to be a victim of a case like this is so hard but to do it publicly must have just been

I can't even imagine so I just wanted to ask how it's been dealing with this publicly you know from going to the police and then having to go through the court case and everything I mean at first like really hard when it first surfaced publicly it was just like I just had complete and utter anxiety everywhere I went because like people were just always talking about it looking over my mum was having to hear people talk about it not knowing it's her daughter and it was very hard but as time went on I really did embrace like the support that I got from my followers like they really gave me a lot and I had so many women reach out to me and men actually who had been through the same thing and they helped me and I could help them so in a way I know also that a lot of

other victims that I speak to, they find it hard on a daily basis because they're constantly like checking to see if it's still there and they find it really hard to sleep at night knowing that people might find out about their video, you know, but for me, I mean, I think even the postman knew about it, you know what I mean? Like seriously, like so everyone knows about it. Every now and then I'd get a link or something saying it's resurfaced and I just think whatever because it is so public, it's done, it's like ripping the band-aid off, but I do get a lot of bad trolling, like I have, like, some, like, men usually will say things, like, if I put, like, a bikini picture or an underwear picture up, like, oh, or she's happy,

like, doing that, she's happy putting things up in her underwear. She deserves what she had happened to her. What's the difference and stuff like that? And it's like, I always, consent. Consent. Consent. And I always enjoyed modelling. I always done those sorts of things on my Instagram and I shouldn't have to change who I am just

because someone decided to take that upon themselves. No. They're two entirely separate entities. Exactly. I'm glad to hear that the support, you had a lot of support from your followers, that's good. I mean, I'm kind of not surprised about the trolls, but that's good to see that your, you know,

and your family as well were really supportive. And I imagine that it was, like you say, the anticipation was almost harder, I imagine, or living every day thinking, oh shit, is this going to surface? Yeah. Is it going to surface? And how are the people I love going to,

to react when it does. Yeah. And, you know, I'm glad they obviously had so much empathy with it, but it's like you didn't do anything wrong. Yeah. I mean, it's so, like, you were just, you're allowed to do whatever sexual act you want in the privacy of your own home or, you know, someone else, like, you know, not in public. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's really good. I'm pleased. There was a lot of support. Yeah. Did you know at the time that it was a form of abuse, what was happening to you? I don't think so. Like, I think all of the, the times that we've been on TV shows together looking back now

because I had to make show real the other day so I had to look back on the challenge which is what me and him would film together for and I can see just how easily manipulated I was by him like he would do so many things to disrespect me but where I was in such a small environment with him I would always just

fall for what he said like he could do something so bad to me and the next day I would just like just be so easily manipulated and looking back I can see it and I think that's also what led him to believe he could do this and I wouldn't have the courage to press charges and completely cut him out of my life but looking back I can see it was very like narcissistic behaviour yeah and to know like that night you said you sat down and like told him about revenge porn and what could happen to him

if he released it like that's amazing that you knew that you know yeah because you know I actually don't think it was until your case that I really really knew about revenge porn or what it was I think Rob Kardashian was involved in a big case as well, wasn't he, revenge porn? Well, there was a couple of Love Islander. I had friends on Love Island when we came out of the villa. I think one of them had a sex tape. I won't obviously say who, but it was like of them having a freesome,

and she called the police because it was revenge porn. And also obviously Zara McDermott is where I first, I think they're the two cases where I heard about it. But it was always just like a biggest fear sort of thing. I mean, societally, the conversation around Vivant, it's so frustrating because it's so rigged, right? I mean, very, and it's not to say that men aren't victims of it, but I'd say overwhelmingly, it's women that have to worry about their nudes, have to worry about the sex sex, because it's a woman's reputation is so fragile. Yeah. And that's why revenge porn can be so dangerous, because men can come back from stuff like this, because it's just one of the, I mean, women, and you are living proof that women can and do as well.

But I think, you know, the fear for a man with revenge porn is just like, oh, well, like, he's one of the lads. But if a girl does it or a woman does it, you know, his part is victim to it, it's the reputation. Yeah. And I wanted to ask about how your internal feelings have been about that, like around revenge porn in general, when you've spoken to other victims of it and how you felt in yourself

because we do live in a society that does slut shame and victim blame and treat women. so badly when stuff like this happens to them. I just think you feel really violated and you just feel, you do feel really ashamed for a long time. And a lot of people also judged me like for the facts that I'd had sex in the garden, but it's like I'm not being funny. It is still a private place. Like there was no one there to see me. Like I have been called a slut. I've been called all sorts of things because of it. And, you know, at first as well, straight after, I found it really hard dating because I felt like

men just like looked at me differently if they found out they'd either be ashamed of the fact that that video was out there of me or they would just look at me as someone that's sort of easy and yeah I did it affected my self-worth for a very long time but I'm definitely in a space now where I've far built up my self-worth and I'm well past that but I did feel really ashamed of myself for a while yeah I'm not surprised I mean like that's not fair you shouldn't you shouldn't no yeah but it's natural it's a natural reaction. Yeah, because women are just conditioned to feel shame for everything and that's like

yeah. I think it's really interesting like looking at society Lee and this is a huge question for you so I'm not going to ask you to answer it on behalf of victims everywhere but I think particularly like looking now at the rise of Andrew Tate and this like in cell culture it's like these men

and I don't know if he would categorize I don't think he'd be an in cell because it's clearly not celibate but I just I don't I don't know what you'd call it but it's these men who hate women like that's kind of what this rises of this like this culture this arrogance of just like no repercussions for for what they're doing no thought for the fact that it's your life that he's just playing with like but we are we kind of are seeing

a culture of this like with the rise of andrew tate and with stuff like that and with just i don't know the way that this culture has been created but i wonder like Like with your newfound perspective, what your thoughts are on that, like on this breed of man that just seems to revel in, I don't even exploiting or deliberately hurting or hating women. I don't... I'm having zero respect for women. Just zero respect.

I just think not everyone should deserve a platform to influence others in that way. And like, one thing that people always praise me for is the fact that it's definitely not changed the way that I look at men. Like, I think on both sides, of sex, women and men, there are good and bad in everyone. Yeah, I mean, some sort of an algorithm needs to be put in place where people like that don't actually.

Because that's what you were saying about the infamy. The fact that he was able to maintain, you know, you lost so much earning and I guess, like so much career potential in that time, which is a horrible thing. Like in your mid-20s, this is when in your line of, our line of work. This is when we need to be, like, hustling. And he took that away from you. But he can still monopolise.

on this awful thing and become more famous for it. Yeah, well, I mean, halfway through the court case, he actually took the pictures that someone had got of him outside the court and he put it on his Twitter and he put, if anyone wants to see

while I'm trending right now, then sign up to my new sex page, hashtag big Corey. Oh my God. I know, and when I spoke to like people like GMB and stuff, they're like, what is Big Cori? And I'm like, I mean, it's big penis.

Like, and like sometimes you can almost slightly laugh but it's disgusting. He's using that most, moment the reason you're trending is because you're a sex offender right and you're using that to now make money on your new porn page like should these social media platforms be allowing him to do that to monetise off of this and it's all about more people looking at him more people knowing who he is so they can sign up to his porn page and he can make money the only thing that matters is money he's leaning on the old adage of all publicity is good publicity yeah it's most definitely not but i know and i think

we're in an age now where it's becoming clearer that that's not the case and I do think well obviously he will suffer for this yeah but it's so true has this sex offender like that's literally what he's like when he's saying like if anyone wants to see what I'm famous for it so you're famous for being a sex offender what kind of a world is this where you can put that up and everyone is like okay I'll click that link yeah if you don't regret it now at some point in your life you will regret this yeah oh my god yeah surely one day this is not a good mark on your record well yeah that that will take a massive reality check so yeah on karma or whatever swinging around it will get him because he does still have sentencing ahead of him you do still have your civil

case against him yeah so this isn't over no by any stretch so like like I think it's not even think I mean karma's going to get him we just have to yeah yeah yeah it will it will yeah they said for a long time um 2023 is like the year of like karma they say like 2021 when we had lockdown and everything was a year of like everyone resetting themselves and 2022 was like a build up to a massive year of karma and retribution in 2023 oh god that's what the astrologers say and i do feel like things are going that way like a lot of people that have done bad things have been outed in the press and stuff like that and they're all starting to get their karma so yeah justice is coming yeah no but that also means you get your karma for all of the good things you've been uh sewing in the last couple of years

yeah okay that's good you've done for someone jury's still out on that we'll just keep you The only thing that's flashing through my head is like, what bad things have I done? I imagine that throughout this process, you have spoken to a lot of other victims. Is that right? Yeah. And do you have those conversations been positive? Like have you been able to, you know, not that it's your job, but sort of encourage any victims to come forward and to like press charges and to share their story, you know, who are worried about the reaction that they're going to receive.

Yeah, I have. And I've done my best to sort of let them know the process if they are looking into sort of like getting justice themselves. But also I think the main problem with a lot of victims is evidence. Like I had such a big platform that when I put that post up, although it did alert some people, it got me so much evidence. And also it was just, it was online everywhere. So it was just so easy to prove.

whereas I think for a lot of people it's preconceived and whoever done it to them maybe covered it over a bit better so it just completely depends what they can get but I think it is quite hard to prove in cases yeah of course because you have it I mean so he's uploaded it to Onlyfans I guess and I don't know

I don't know how it works for other people but I guess it's happening probably and I think it's happening a lot in schools which is like terrifying where it's like kids are uploading things to own not only I'm sorry, to porn hub or whatever, but I think it's quite hard to find out who's uploaded. Who's done it, yeah.

Who's uploaded what? Quick question. Was OnlyFans supportive? Yeah, they were, to be fair. I mean, if it wasn't for them, I don't know how easy my conviction would have been. Oh, really? Okay.

Yeah, they provided a lot of the evidence. Excellent. Which was amazing because I think it's sort of done in OnlyFans where it's sent and then it can sort of disappear, a bit like Snapchat. Right. So it was a concern that maybe that. that evidence wouldn't be provided, but they did.

They provided evidence, IP addresses, and they also banned him from their platform. Excellent. So I can't really argue with the way that they handled the situation. As they should, because that's not what OnlyFand is about, you know. No, exactly. But I do think, like, as the rise of subscription platforms is coming, there needs to be, like, a lot of compliance

and a lot of safeguard input into the way that they're run. But, yeah, I mean, his was a verified account, so they were very clear cut with it, and they did really help me, yeah. Yeah. God that's sad When you speak to people In your DMs or when you're speaking to the people Do you get a sense generally

Of what a victim of a case like this looks like And I mean age or I don't know I'm trying to work I'm becoming increasingly concerned With the stuff that we read about That it's happening more and more to young people Is that, do you get that as a general sense

There's so, look there's so many different people But the majority are teenage girls for me but then also they're probably more likely to reach out to me. And it's funny because so many people reach out to me because it's something you want to keep secret. It's an embarrassing thing. So you go to a public figure who's experienced it and that's where I end up with so many.

But you'd be surprised I've spoken to a lot of men who have been in situations where they've gone home with a girl or two girls in actually quite a lot of cases and they've ended up doing a video with these women just thinking they're having fun or whatever, but actually these women have a subscription platform. and they are using that footage to make money so we're now living in an age

where there's a completely different incentive so it's not just you know I want to video this person so I can send it to their family and ruin their life it's I want to video this person so I can make some money on my only fans or not necessary only fans but any subscription platform and I think that's where you need to be careful

but with kids as well like when I was younger I didn't have like a video on my phone I had like a Sony Erickson or whatever and none of this was there but there are so many opportunities to fall into this sort of trap of sending videos and pictures of yourself and I know when I was younger

I was a lot more trusting and like you know if a boy really liked me maybe I would have sent something like that and also I know that the effect on my character and my life would have been 10 times more because when you're a kid you just cannot process things like this like you feel like your whole world is

coming down and I think it does lead to suicide in a lot of young people and it's something that really does need to get tackled I've got younger brothers and sisters and I just like, it's my fear that they have to go through this and especially like when you have to walk into school

kids are just so judgmental like when it happened to me a lot of the people that I would speak to were very supportive they wanted to know I was okay but when you're in school people just don't give a shit do they like I remember it's like the Wild West

and they all shout things at you and they judge you a lot more because they're not grown themselves and yeah I want to do things to try and help educate the younger generation maybe go around schools and sort of help educate the men but also educate the women at that age

you know you just can't trust people you can't trust people with that sort of thing not when you're a teenager no and the laws just do not exist yet to protect you no because I think you can get done and this is something that like boys at school this is part of the education need to be aware of if you share a video of a girl

and if you're 16 and your 15 year old girlfriend sends you a video of herself and then you show it to someone, you can be arrested for, I believe, and I'm going to fact-check myself, but I believe you can be arrested for sharing child pornography. Yeah. And like that is something that will ruin, and I'm boys' lives as well. And obviously, you know, like that they are not innocent in that.

But while there's no education here, it's like we, they can, they've just got the potential to ruin. Everything could just explode. Like everybody's lives. I agree. And young men definitely need to be made aware of the concert. and the severity of the situation and I think that's one good thing that can come from

what happened to me is it's definitely helped highlight in the UK anyway what the situation can do to people the effects it can have and also thankfully for the British public that you will be judged and you will be sort of held accountable as someone who does break the law in this way I think any young men will be looking at this situation

and think I don't want people to look at me the way that they look at Stephen Bear I want to ask what your plans now and what do you hope to do from here on out and you touched on that you'd like to go to schools and you'd like to help educate and you're working with refuge as well. Can you tell us a bit about that and what your plans are now? So I would definitely like to educate the younger generation by going to schools. I want to get involved in any campaign women's refuge have going forward because I just think

they're amazing and I think a lot of what they're wanting to focus on is the online safety bill and basically how we can sort of entice the government into really putting some strong laws into the virtual well because kids' life is now 50% the physical reality and 50% the virtual reality and they need to be protected the same way they are in real life and the same things

that are wrong in real life need to be wrong and enforced as wrong in virtual reality yeah you mentioned before about how like young how this can lead to like cases like this can lead to suicides and young people and I guess that's the

context to your situation is you came to this you were still really young but you had been on love island you've been on tv for years you must have grown accustomed and and rightly or wrongly because i just i hate that people in the public i have to grow a thick skin but you probably were the most well equipped to deal with this in that you kind of understood the online and the and and the celebrity world an element of it yeah for like you say for somebody who's at school or you know just not equipped at all and who is like you know you were in a really unique position and and had as many tools as you could have but no one's got the tools to deal with this like it just must be and you don't

when we think about domestic violence and domestic abuse we think about it in the context of like parents and moms and you know like older women in relationships you don't think about it in the context of a crime affecting so many young people no and school age girls as well yeah and like when you're young you you don't love yourself as much i don't think anyone does growing up you don't know yourself as much and when people want to call you something or put you in sort of a box you believe what they say at that age

like I've definitely got to the age where I realise that you know I know I'm a good person and I love myself unequivocally and everyone should and when I look at something that a troll says I'm aware that they don't love themselves and that they probably do have some demons

and maybe things have happened to them in their life to make them treat other people and speak to other people in the way they do and I honestly feel sorry for them. And I'm lucky that I have that sort of resilient outlook on situations. And for young people, hopefully they can look at me and the way that I have taken it on and risen above it and try and do that for themselves

because, you know, tough times do pass. You're amazing. Thanks. With that, you have been and you are such an inspiration to so many people who've gone through anything like this and to see you not only stand up for yourself, but you won like that is just so huge

and it was such a massive verdict and like I keep crying but I just feel like I'm sorry because I'm so crying it's a third time I've gone but I'm just like it might be the whole most

yeah I want a roller go but it is emotional but it is emotional like it signifies a real shift I feel like you know you mentioned the online safety bill and like what's coming and you know

like having people like yourself stand up and take a stand on this is huge and to win is huge. So I guess just before we end, if there's anybody listening that has experienced anything like what you've been through at any stage

and I'm imagining that there will be people who feel, you touched them at the beginning, that shame at the beginning of this situation where you know it's around you and you know what could happen. I guess anybody who's feeling like that, is there anything that you would say to them, any victims of domestic abuse of it

or a sex crime of any kind? Yeah, I just think you cannot control the cards that God gives you, but you can figure out how to play them, and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of if you've ever found yourself in an abusive relationship or fallen victim to any sort of revenge porn. The only people that have something to be ashamed of is someone that specifically does something knowing

that it's going to harm another human being, and that is not you when you are the victim of something like this. So just stay strong and know that it really is a grieving process, just like if you lose someone in the family, it's a grieving process and it will feel like the end of the world at first and sometimes you will feel like you can't go on but that time will pass.

So just breathe through it, take your time to heal and know that, yeah, you're a strong and beautiful person and you don't deserve anything bad that happens to you. That's so lovely. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing all of that with us.

I know it's obviously been super traumatic for you and I'm sorry, you know, we're so sorry for what you've been through, but thank you so much for sharing it so bravely and so eloquently and no doubt helping so many people, like M said, that are, you know, have been through something similar, so thank you so much. Thanks, girls, this has been wicked. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.