Should I Delete That? - Sex parties & squirting with the Come Curious girls

Episode Date: July 31, 2022

This week, Em and Al are joined by sexy legends Florence and Reed of Come Curious! They get really deep in a conversation about non-monogamy, sex parties and anal play. The girls ask YOUR questions at the end too, once they got their own curiosities out of the way!In the Good, Bad and Awkward, the girls are back in London to talk more about puffins and discuss boot camps...Follow Florence, Reed and Come Curious on Instagram and listen to F**ks Given here!This episode is sponsored by VUSH, go to https://www.vushstimulation.com/icomefirst use the code SIDT50 for 50% off your Empress 2!Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] & edited by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, why did I post that? Ah, I don't know what to do. Should I delete that? Yeah, you should definitely delete that. Hello. Okay, that was, you bloody hell. I was taking a deep breath. I was doing a moment of meditation before we went in and wow.

Pull yourself together, Al. Podcasts never sleep. Ambition, money. Ooh, do you want to hear something incredible? I don't know why I keep saying money. Money. I just keep saying it, like, quite aggressively, whenever I feel tired.

But I just feel like that's probably what, like, I don't know, like Elon Moss probably says that to himself. They probably just like, sats up around the face and says money a lot. Money! I saw something this morning. Yeah, literally, money. Ow, money. He probably says it just like that.

Ow, money. Okay, are you ready? Are you ready to feel fucking inspired? Go on. This is what's going on. This is what's going on our first Frenchman. magnet. Attack today with a positive attitude. Absolutely destroy it with good vibes. Murder its family with hope. I saw this on your story and I looked for like, you know, you can answer with

emojis to stories. I looked for like an annoyed one or like a for God's sake one. You know, like an eye roll. I couldn't find it. No, that's because that would be a horrible thing for the platform to be inviting. They don't want cynics like you. We only want whews and love eyes and laughing faces we don't want we don't want bad vibes in story reactions it's a it's a good quote the day i tell you what i am in a i have been in a very foul put your scissors down put your scissors down oh my god i'm like i'm in a foul mood waving your scissors up my face um oh you've been in a foul i wouldn't have known i am in a like oh my god you know and just i've had to shoot today everything has come at once, which is fine, which is great, it's good to be busy. Love that.

Yeah, money, money, money. However, I had to shoot today and my sister, who's like working with me full time now, it does my shooting, yeah, helps me shoot, I don't know, does my shooting sound like I'm an absolute, I don't know, just feel like I need to humble myself that, that sounds really, really, really, wanky, she does all my shooting. It's all right, you'll humble yourself and you see the foot, no, I'm joking, I see the footage. Oh my God. like so and she didn't have

childcare today he's poorly so he couldn't go to nursery and so we've been trying to shoot with a baby and my God it's been absolute chaos I think that's brutal and I get it

but also like I don't like the risk of your kid getting sick it must be terrifying for a parent no wonder they're so like fanatical about germs never mind like the kids' welfare It's got to be more like, if you can't go to childcare, then like, how do I go to work? Let's be honest, it's always the mums that don't go to work or have to make the concessional sacrifices.

I don't know why I'm kind of getting on a weird feminist challenge. No, it's true, though. But I can understand why people get so terrified about their children getting sick. Because it's like, maybe they should have like a special room at nursery where the poorly ones go. No, that's bad. But the thing is, they get sick all the time when they go to nursery, like all the time. And where do they get sick? They get sick at nursery.

So it's a vicious cycle. Just keep him in. But yeah, oh my God, it's so hot. And I'm tired. I'm tired and it's not even my baby. Like, God help, my sister. God helps the baby. Because he was like shoved around, like passed from me to her to meet her,

to me to her, like putting his high cheper here and there, like trying to be distracted in every way possible and also totally ignored. So God help the child. Yeah, and poor Jen. No, poor Jen. Because not only she got a poorly child, but she's got a growing up. and she thinks she's got tonsillitis and I actually didn't really I was just like oh bless you

that you know she gets it a lot and then she was like look at my throat and it's her tonsil was like a tennis ball just one was like a big old tennis ball full of full of puff so I was like oh you're really ill I'm really sorry but you can't go home but we still need to shoot you both of you sit here and shut up no why she just got one tonsil no she's got two but It's only one that's like in flame. The other one's just like a pee. And the other one's like a tennis ball. It's very disconcerting to look at.

Oh, poor Jen. My sister used to get tonsillitis. Then they took her tonsils out. But now she just gets tonsillitis on the bit at the back. What's it called the epiglottis? Yeah, it's so horrible. Epiglottis. Yeah, and she just gets it on that.

So they didn't take people's tonsils out anymore. They don't, do they? She was like one of the last people that had them out. Yeah, that's so weird. I find it so weird to look at the throat. that don't have them in. Not that I look at many throats. How often does that happen?

I don't think I've ever seen your tonsil. My mum doesn't have a tonsil, so sometimes I'm like, oh, can I look inside again? And it's just like... Like a chasm. Yeah, like it's just a big black hole. Hit me. Tell me something.

Good bad or awkward. Where would you like to start? I'm going to start with nothing, actually. I don't know what this... I don't know what category this is my bad, actually. falls into the bad category. Okay. As I said, in last week's podcast, I fucking love puffins, right?

And I was a big story about how much I love puffins and how I thought I'd seen a load of puffins, but I actually saw puffins statues and I was really upset because I love puffins, right? Few of all people who listen to the podcast

also love puffins. And someone sent me a video of a really cute puffin. And I shared it on my Instagram and I was like, oh my God, I just love puffins. And somebody replied to me. And she went,

I haven't caught up with the podcast yet, but oh my God, fuck puffins. I spent two years working with those shits and have actual scars on my hands and body they will nip and not let go also waking you up at 2 a.m. to something in your house and absolutely breaking it.

I only to find it's one of these twats has got in and got stuck in the bathroom. Ugh, they suck. I was like, right, well, never fucking mind them. Oh my God, wait, what kind of job does she have where she had to work with them? I don't know, but she has a duck in her name on Instagram.

So presumably something with orthomology. Hey, Siri, what's orthomology? Okay, I found this on the web for what's orthology. She does not work in orthomology. Hey, Siri, what are people who work with birds called? Okay, I found this on the web for what are people who work with birds called. Ornithology. I was close.

close but nilphigar. Ornithologist. That's what I would guess she is. Ornithology. People who work with birds. Oh my God, I've heard something. I'm guessing, me too. I'm guessing that she is an ornithologist.

Either that or, well, I literally have no idea if she's not an or nautologist. I have no explanation for why this chick hates puffins so much. Also, like, maybe she just had them as colleagues. Maybe she just works in HR and an office is just full of puffins. Maybe there's just like a place up in like Greenland that just puffins just like head up like the co-op. Like head up the co-op. She just had to work with them for like two years. Oh, they're so cute.

I'm just reminding. Aren't they? No, but remember, according to the ornithologist, fuck puffins. I don't know if we, sorry, fuck puffins. But I don't remember if we got to the bottom of this last week or not whether they're related to penguins. Because I thought they were and also they looked very similar. but out last week you said they looked like you said they look like bird things and he laughed over it way too quickly anyway um oh i actually put that as a note on my phone as well and

i've just written and i don't know why i've written this as a note fun puffin fact about their copy and i think what i was trying to say is that puffins and i don't know how i know this so i could have dreamt it but i'm pretty sure that puffins copy other puffins So if you have a statue with a puffin standing on one leg, the puffin will copy the statue and will also stand on one leg. Oh, that's so much empathy. That's so cute. I know.

So I'm guessing if you yawn a... Oh my God, I want to go and see a puffin. I want to try and yawn at a puffin and see if it yawns back at me. Oh, no. You just said the word and then you just put it in my head and then suddenly it's like an immediate fucking yawn. Who did it? And you didn't cover your hand over your mouth.

And now you're doing it again. Turn away. boo. Okay, tell me something is your bad that you're just in a foul mood or do you have more bad? Do you want to bring down the vibe even? No, I'm joking. Can I just stress? Not stress. Can I just inform everyone? Probably everyone

already knows this, but penguins and puffins aren't siblings or even cousins. They're just completely different species. Anyway, did you do your bad? Yes, my bad is that not everybody loves puffins and I'm absolutely guarded, yes, terrible. I was really upset. I kind of, you know, when you just

you feel like you've jumped on something and it's like this is a real crowd please like everybody loves a puffin for example we could put a puffin on a magnet everyone would buy it now this girl wouldn't fuck puffins my bad oh oh god kind of bad slash awkward oh i was on the train and i was well i met a very nice woman about to say young lady and i was like what the fuck am i saying a very nice woman who happened to follow me on instagram and we got chatting And then a woman came and joined us, a woman in her 60s, and she's like sat across us in the table. And she was kind of listening to a convo and like laughing along and stuff

and like smiling in. So I was like, oh, let's get her involved. You know, she obviously wants to like get involved. Anyway, so we started chatting. She's really nice. And then she sort of just dove into her. She'd just come back from a retreat where she fasted or just or like had a bit of juice. I think it was like maybe a juice only retreat for 10 days.

And then she proceeded to talk for like 20 minutes about how she is trying this way to lose weight, that way to lose weight, talking about how like this is the best way to lose weight. And actually she's read this and read that. And like it was so incredibly uncomfortable because I am not, I'm never going to be like, well actually, you know, I just, it wasn't like I just can't. I just don't. It's just not me. I just can't do it. But the girl next to me obviously follows me and knows everything. So we're both sitting there. Like I'm going redder in the face. thinking like I don't want to be rude to this woman and I want to like you know when you're in a conversation and you like you nod along and you say yeah and you like you express a bit of enthusiasm here and there and I was like I can't do that so I'm looking so I'm looking rude so what the hell do I do so I just felt extremely uncomfortable didn't know what to do and I know many people would be like oh but you should have tried to like teach her like help her and stuff and I'm like absolutely not that it was not the right time not the right place it's not my place it's just a random woman on the train. So that was incredibly uncomfortable and I didn't get this girl's name, the one that follows

me and I don't know her handle. And so I wanted afterwards, like, voice know her and be like, oh God, that was so awkward, wasn't it? But I don't even know who she is. So depressing. It was so depressing. It was so depressing. Can't me anything worse than just drinking juice for like five days. She does it a lot, though. Like her and her mates do it a lot. They go to boot camps. They actually go to the boot camp that I went to years and years ago, which I was the worst week of my life. And like I, there was like, like, so many red flags. Like, there was a girl there that was really very, very clearly unwell and they didn't, they didn't intervene. And there was a lot of stuff. But she was talking about it like, oh my God, it's the, like, it's the best thing ever. Like,

you can lose like six pounds in a week and I'm 60. And like, that's not heard of like people in their 60s. And I was just like, oh, this is rough. See, I'd like to. See, I'd like to go to a like a boot camp that was like not about how you looked or like your weight like I would maybe maybe the hags should do one and it's like we won't weigh you and you eat what the fuck you want but we could like teach cooking I've actually always thought about doing this out in the island we could teach like really practical good nutritious meals because it's very hard to know how to cook like grown up food with like appropriate stuff but that isn't in a diet culturally away because that's actually kind of really difficult, I always find. But then we could go

and do like fun exercise, but like literally fun exercise. Go like go ape or like try running and like do it in a way that you're like outside all day and you feel very invigorated and like rosy cheap but you don't feel like you're on a weight loss starvation trip. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I'd like to go on like a week long tough mother type. Like just fun and that's for dreading. We just don't care about how you love. Good food. Get outside loads. Yeah. Just like. just hike a bunch and you can you can wear like the shitters clothes like you don't have to put any makeup on hair is constantly scraped back don't need to wash it like that would be amazing but you know what the boot camp I did like they definitely have those elements like those aspects to it it's just

the fact that it was paired with like we were we were eating 800 calories a day and then you were like weighed and and also it was very grueling it was like you weren't allowed to stop if you wanted to stop with the exercise like it would be like someone's it was like army style military someone's screaming at you if if you stop the rest of the group has to like start again so obviously you're never going to fucking stop because you're like I don't want to be the person that has to make the group start again because like shoot me I'm not doing that so yeah but like would take all that away like the concept of it is it is fun yeah like yeah I'd like to just be like outside and hiking for a week with like nice people oh my god

a high retreat would be so fun oh my god let's do it that sounds so fun um what if you had been in my position there on the train with that like talking to that woman what would you would you have done anything differently i would like to think that i'd have been like you and just respected her choices and left her to it but i've got this like horrible problem with my impulse control and i'm not very good i'm getting better but i'm often not very good at holding my tongue so i actually would if i had the choice i would do what you did because she's 60 years old you she doesn't know you you don't want to just shit on her entire life and her hobbies. Yeah, and then just get off the train and I'm gone from her life forever.

Yeah, and then be like, anyway, bye, yeah, like, I think if we've been together, I would have probably said like, oh, interestingly actually, Al has some very, she's done a lot of research into this and she's written a great book, but I get that it's really hard to say that for yourself. So even if I wasn't with you, I might say, oh, yeah, I mean, I've heard about that sort of thing, but, I don't know, but, but I probably wouldn't have. said it in such a lovely diplomatic way because I'm one of those terrible people that's like calm calm calm god oh my god this is a terrible thing why are you doing this to yourself so I think you did the right thing I probably would have just like torn the woman's life into

like shreds and should have been like oh god why have you done this I had a really nice week a way of the girl because some people do get a bit indoctrinated into it and you don't like people have to come to it on their own you can't just say like oh your entire pastime is a way right right especially when it's something you're super excited about and like if it felt like her whole purpose in life was like weight loss like want to look a certain way so yeah it's it's it's very very difficult but yeah what's your awkward it's so bad and I didn't really do it justice I kind of touched on it the other day and your sister was incredibly polite about it and she didn't take the piss out of me nearly as much as what she should have done but on Tuesday when

we were recording this interview that you're about to hear um we were in London, we were in Central and we were at a studio and Jen, Alex's sister and I popped out to go and get lunch and we went to Ittzu to go and get our lunch and I was just, you know, I can't have normal soy sauce, I have to have gluten-free soy sauce because I, I'm so embarrassed and I'm so much. So I have I have to have gluten-free soy sauce because I have gluten so I couldn't take the little bottles away they have one bottle of gluten-free things you have to just do it yourself so I'm standing at the checkout bit

where you kind of, you pay on one side and then there's like a sort of kiosk where you get like your chopsticks or your spoon or your fork if you are going to admit to the world that you can't use chopsticks which I always think is quite embarrassing and I was pouring my main free soles on and this girl walked up into my

periphery and she was wearing a leopard print skirt which I'm gonna be honest is a light wardrobe staple item a white shirt and a denim jacket so shoot me for my mistake please it's like my uniform I know so and you know like you guys share clothes and sisters you know so I was like it's probably it's probably Jen so I was pouring the soy sauce and I was like I was like God good thing they've got gluten-free soy sauce because you know a lot of places don't have them

anyway what did you get what have you got and turn around to see what Jen and ordered and it wasn't Jen and this woman was just holding her bowl of food looking at me like why do you care what I've got and instead of saying

oh god sorry I thought you were my friend or who's he wrong person I just said nothing I just tailed off I was like what if you got silence carried on boring I looked at the person

behind this person and that was Jen and she didn't step in and go oh wait for you talking to me how I was such an idiot she just was like hi M I was like hi Jen

and then she was like did you think that was me I was like yeah she was like because it was I was like, oh my God, I have to die. Did the hormone report to you? No, she just looked at me like, all right, weirdo. It was so, but it would, I could have, I probably could have got away with it if I'd have said,

um, oh, he, but I just didn't do the, oh, he, I literally just trailed off, oh, what have you got? Sides. This is just so bad. So there was nothing, there was no, like, space for her to jump in and say something. There was, I just left it and everything just died. we both just froze in time as my life ended and then she just walked away. That is so embarrassing.

That is so embarrassing. And I don't know your sister well enough to be like, oh my God, fucking shoot me in the head. So I just had to be like, not only have I embarrassed myself in front of this stranger, I've also embarrassed myself in front of the chair. You know, I'm trying to impress at this point. It's still early.

Devastating. Absolutely devastating. I would love to have the footage of that. But equally mortifying that day was the day that I wore my nice green Zara shirt and I got sweat patches as big as the fucking like moon under each arm. You really did. I had to walk home like I dislocated both my arms. It's that material. It's silk right? It's that material where it's water stained. So like even when you, when it's dry it's just stained like water

stained. Everything about me has just been awkward this week. Like honestly that whole day I was like oh god I'm just I hate myself. It's so bad. So bad. We had such a good recording day though. I'm so excited for all those episodes to come out. Oh, my God. Yeah, today's getting, yeah.

Oh, today. Oh, my God. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, it's today. Have you got anything awkward? And it won't top that. No, so that was, that was, that was, oh no, it wasn't my awkward. Oh, my awkward, very small.

But we were in the Isle of Man visiting you at your family's home. And we, your sister was there with her friend. and like loads of other people as well, okay? So loads of other people. So we went out for a walk and everyone's in their like outdoorsy kit and from behind it's hard to differentiate whatever. Anyway, your sister's friend,

I really liked her, really got on well with her and I thought, what a nice girl, she's so nice. So I thought I'd say to you as we're walking along, I really like Moose. And you just looked up and you were like, well, it's a good job because she's right there. And she was standing right there. And I just, I don't know.

I don't know if I just thought it was someone else or if I just didn't, I just was paying no attention to other people being around. You are so lucky. I am so lucky. I was like, I just really like her. Because imagine if you have been like, God, Moose is really fucking difficult.

But, I really struggle with her. I think I said, like, I really like because she's such a nice girl, which is, I sound like it, I sound like an older lady, really. It sounded very like, you are literally 10 years older than me. Oh, yeah. Okay, all right. Okay. That just, okay, thank you. This has dropped back down to her. But, like, the whole thing could have been glossed over, but then you were like, hey, Moose, did you hear what she just said? She just said that she really likes you and you're a really nice girl. And I was like, why are you doing that, Em? Why are you doing that?

Because that's a lovely thing. This is what Harry Chibaldwin said in one of our interviews a long time ago. If you think something nice about somebody, tell them. Tell her after. Tell her when I'm not there. I've said they're being like, oh yeah, I did say that, yeah, you're a really nice girl. But that's lovely. Look, it would have been way worse if I'd have been like, moose. She thinks your feet are really ugly, or like, she thinks you've got a shit, or she thinks you really smell. It would have been horrendous. I think it's nice to spread the love.

Yeah, no, it is, it is nice. If I hear anybody saying something nice about somebody else, I'll always tell the person immediately. I'm like, don't tell me, tell them. Yeah. Like, spread the love, baby. Preferably when I'm not right there. But, yeah, that was my, that was my little awkward. um what's your good oh my god well a few goods because life's just pretty good first of all look at my nails

like they are oh i was going to say your nails look great they're little pink tips agree oh that sounds dirty pink tips yeah just the tip uh they're great yeah that was my good but then i tell you something last night i went out for a pizza with a friend of mine that i haven't seen for three wow and we really drifted apart as happens in like grown-up friendship sometimes you know like life moves and you know we never fell out or anything we just stopped really seeing each other and talking and yeah and like I've missed her so much and like yeah last night we went but there was just I don't know just we just didn't I don't know it just happens doesn't it sometimes and then it gets too long and it's just been too long and anyway

last night me and Alex went out for dinner with her and another one of our friends and it was literally so great like it was it was like no time's past and we've made plans for in three weeks I was like oh my god how great that we've gone from like three years

between dinners to three weeks in between I love that it'll be three days but she hasn't changed and it's so weird like her hair's grown a bunch but otherwise everything's exactly the same and it's like it was just the nicest time just to like sit and like talk about old friends and they used to be like she used to be

my neighbor like and she and the government was like literally lived around the corner and we just had like so many memories about like all the I mean and thank Christ we've grown up in the time because we used to have so many house parties at that place and like just she was like do remember that time we like scrub red wine off the walls for like hours I was like oh my god yeah um but it was just it was so lovely and actually my um my friend friend who, my other friend who was there at dinner who was like, is our mutual friend and I knew I've just kept seeing at various things. But she, um, she said that, uh, like an expression that she loves, it's like, but a friend for a reason, a season or a lifetime, which I really

like. I love that. Yeah. So people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person. And I really like that because I think, you know, sometimes, like, you can have friends that will just last forever and ever, and sometimes you have a friend that comes into your life at, like, just the right time, and is exactly what you need at that time. And sometimes you have a friend that is just a friend for that, like, that period of your life. Like, I don't know if you're a student or you're at school or whatever. And, like, forgiving yourself for friendships changing as you get older is a really nice thing to do. And just being very accepting of, like, other

adult's lives, I think. I really want to do a podcast. episode on friendship because I'm so interested in it and like in the way that we communicate in the way that we are and our expectations for each other and how we can hurt each other without realizing and all this shit anyway but it was just it was really lovely to have an old friend back in my life again and it's just have you just had an I love that yeah it was so nice to hear and we should so do an episode on that because I just wouldn't know where to start with that like who to interview but if anyone has any suggestions

whack them in the inbox never say that again send us an email please should I delete that pod at gmail.com because I think that would be really interesting to explore for sure have you got anything good my good is that I have been

thinking about getting a Peloton forever since Pelotons like came out because obviously like you know what I'm like I just I can't help myself please cast your mind back to January and the fucking drunk it. Well, well, I've already, I'm already one step ahead of that because I've been on it three times since I got it.

If it's going to be the yoga again, the nitri yoga or whatever it was called. Nidra yoga, quite possibly. But so far, I am absolutely loving it and it's so nice. And I feel like I really need, I really got out of, like, doing any kind of exercise. Just, I don't know, life has been, you know, life is busy for everyone, like whatever. but you know you just get out of a routine and whatever and then reading a lot about withdrawals and like why do I feel so bad and like how can I make myself feel better and everyone says exercise so I was just like fine fine then I will do some exercise and so well I mean it's only it's only three

days in so I'll let you know but I'm also trying not to do that and be like oh I'm doing it every single day and then I'm going to feel better because I know what I'm like I go like hell for leather and do it like I'll do it twice a day every day for two weeks and then literally I'll forget exists. So I am trying to take it slowly as well. So today's my recovery day. I'm going to do it again. But yeah, fun.

And I found this guy called Cody, you told me about. Because I did. I had one girl who it has to be very stimulating for me to like, which is what I loved about like classes in like cycle classes for like people who live in London. I think in Manchester they have cycle as well. But anyway, it's like, yeah, and it's like a soul cycle. You might have seen it in, in, like, New York and L.A. as well.

But it's like, it's like a nightclub in there. It's like dark and flashing lights. And then the instructors, like, and like the music's really loud. And I love that because it's like so stimulating and so engaging. And then, so yeah, so I've, I needed like a good instructor. I had a girl. She was a little bit flat. So I was a bit like, I can't do this.

But I found Cody and he's great and he does a question, answer in the middle. And it's so, yeah. Cody's the absolute tits. I love him. I've been so out of exercise. Like, I'm so upset. That should be my bad. I'll be my bad next week

because I won't have done anything about it. I'm like not exercising at all and I'm just so depressed about it because it makes me so happy. But I just haven't had the feckin time. And I hate people that say, I haven't got the time to them. You know, when people say I haven't,

I just didn't have time for lunch. I'm like, oh, fuck off. Everyone's got time for lunch. But some days, like life just feckin runs, doesn't it? It does. It really does. Yeah, it's all just felt so chaotic. I just need a bit of time just, like, sitting still. But it's so exciting.

And we'd like the world opening up and stuff. Being able to go back to the Isleman. So amazing, because we can work from there now because everyone works on their phones and even Al can work from there, and it's amazing. But it does mean that you spend a lot of time out of your routine. And, yeah, that's difficult. Yeah.

But it's discombobulating. Look at you. I'm proud of you, though. Got your pelot on. Also, now the hype is so. like congratulations for jumping on it so late because they're so much cheaper now and you can buy them all like second hand and everything oh okay that's good okay yeah yeah everybody's everybody's saying them well we can bring it back we can let's bring it back bring it back bring your penny high back break yeah okay perfect um can we introduce the best fucking

guest duo ever oh my god okay I really settled into this episode but at the start I was shitting my pants I know. And so we've got the girls from Come Curious on today. They host a podcast called Fuxgiven. And last Thursday's episode, I was listening to it on the way back from the island of man. And in the first five minutes of the episode, Reid was talking about the UTI she'd got from the holiday sex where sun cream had got where it shouldn't. And the hemorrhoids she'd got from anal done wrong. And I literally was like, oh my God, Alex Light is going to have an aneurysm when these girls sit. down and she has to talk to them but it was so good and what we wanted this episode to be was a lot of listener questions but to be honest with you we had so many of our own questions listener questions came in late so good news they're coming back they've got to come back they are so many questions so many questions and we just know already that today's episode's could be so popular so yeah they're the greed we made them promise it's actually kind of tragic as they were leaving we were like can you promise it your car you actually said it like

seven times yeah we said it were 80 many times that should have been both of all awkward so like we should have left it at the one just like chill friendly but we didn't we made it weird anyway um it's so brilliant we absolutely adore them they're great to follow on instagram and you definitely need to check out their podcast as well i fucking loved it i've never i've never been i've never spoken to two people or anyone who is so sexually liberated as them and it was just absolute eye-opener for me and, like, fascinating. And I literally, like, hung on to their every word. I was, like, fully, like, engaged. Like, this is the best interview, like, best I just love. Al's jaw was, like, on the floor. The whole episode. I'm picking it back off again. It was so good. I'm

so excited. So, guys, I hope you really enjoy it. We absolutely adore these women, and we just know that you will as well. That's it. Let's stop talking about it. Let's let people. Let's perfect. the good people listen to the good episode. Here are read and voice. Hi guys, thanks so much for coming. Hey, wow, that was like right in there. I was like, whoa, look up. Well, no floor.

I was going to say floor play. No foreplay. Welcome, I'm sorry. I've just gone in. Quick penetration. My favorite, yeah, with the penetration. I am so excited to be doing this episode. Al said I had to take the lead

because she was uncomfortable, which is exactly. I'm not uncomfortable. Please. Okay, you go. No, no, no, no, it's all yours. Oh, oh, not uncomfortable, eh? No, I'm really happy to be here. I'm so excited.

I love your podcast. Oh, thank you. There's just no holding back on anything. I think that that was the point of creating Thanksgiving. It was, I mean, on every other platform, we've been banned and barred and had issues because we want to talk about sex and want to educate and help other people feel comfortable. and podcasting kind of allowed us to just go in. Yeah, we can talk about anything we want.

It's so great. And it's like therapy. We always say if there's something that we're a little bit nervous about talking about, say it loudly and proudly on the podcast and make it into a thing and talk about it and understand it. And yeah, we go in. You really feel like that on the balance, though, listening

because, like, and again, only knowing, like, recently, but, like, hearing, like, read, it was been, like, quite heavy on, like, your sex. But then, Florence, you were talking about, like, your one in a relationship. it's really nice that you can hear like both sides like yeah there's like sex is a big part of it but you're also talking about like the way that our brains like instinctively leap when we get certain messages or whatever and it's really nice that it's like I don't know because I guess

sometimes like certain things sexually can sound quite unrelatable to people who aren't having that sort of sex but everybody's been in a position with a relationship maybe or yeah with boys or girls or whatever I think we've always kind of been like that as well kind of like a ying and a yang. So whenever one person's going through something, the other person's going through another, whether that's like a breakup or their sexual liberation. Yeah. And I think it works well because, you know, we're two white women talking about sex and not everybody, especially because we are so sex positive on our podcast. We try really hard not to make sex into the be all and end all, even though it is basically what the whole podcast is about. But we don't want to exclude

anyone, especially people who can't achieve orgasms or people who don't. don't enjoy sex or maybe suffer from vaginismus or something. We try really hard to have a broad spectrum of what we talk about on the pod to include everyone, but even though the main, the main thing is sex. Just having great sex. Yeah, great, and bad sex.

I was gonna say not always great sex. We can't always too, our own heart at that. Sometimes it's fucking shocking. Oh my God, I've had some really bad sex this year, I would say. Oh no, just this year. Yeah. But how bad?

Just like really unconnected, very like awkward I want this to finish like those weird like first dates that end up in sex I thought that's what I wanted and then it wasn't mm-hmm

or like you always give them the second chance like maybe they'll bring it round and the fuck no you should have listened to it they absolutely don't do you think many of them listen to the podcast I do wonder yeah I think some of them must do

I was thinking that you Florence you were talking about how you'd given a boy your Instagram and then gone on a day with him or no you texted him after us or whatever and I was like surely he'll listen they've got enough ego most men that they'll be like oh 100% yeah or even I mean I would if I somebody out a podcast oh my god oh my god you're thinking about it immediately because curiosity I'd be like I've got to I've got to know what she said about me yeah do you think it makes you intimidating to have sex with I think so absolutely on the dating apps we we really when I was

single, I mean, I'm still on dating apps now because I'm in a non-monogamous relationship, but you're constantly trying to decide whether or not you're completely honest about who you are, what you do, sex podcast, you know, do the social media thing, big on Instagram and YouTube and all that, or whether or not you play it safe and whether it scares people away. And we've kind of come to the conclusion that being honest about it from the get-go is important because that's who we are. And if you're intimidated, that's almost like you've failed the first interview stage like we don't want anything to do with you it's it's up to them whether they indulge in it and if they want to listen they can listen the guy that

I've been dating recently decided that he just wasn't going to listen to any of it which I don't know how I feel about as well because I'm like that's well it's part of me so if you are really interested in me then you will listen to it and also you want someone to support what you do through and through it's really hard it's still hard trying to figure that element out there are sometimes when I talk about my boyfriend on there and I have to give him a little trigger warning like oh I spoke about this situation or I spoke about an ex or somebody that I had sex with just to let you know before you listen if you do listen then it might yeah create some kind of feeling it's not even just the sex podcast as well it's like we both do only fans so when someone dates us they have to be okay with the sex work side yeah yeah they have to be so open yeah and and what's the usual response most people are intrigued I would say yeah positive off with start off with and then I think then when it comes to like oh I need to actually introduce you to my friends and my family and think about lifelong things like am I okay with this yeah especially at the beginning you don't really think

that far ahead that can become quite complicated yeah my dad told me I'd never meet someone that was okay with it oh fucking thanks dad nice one bro Jesus I have to that's my that's my that's my own curiosity, how are your families with what you do? My mom is one of our biggest fans. She really loves what we do and she's kind of like, I think, learn along the way with what we do. And she, you know, she ended up coming to a sex workers protest with me in LA once and like learn about like why people were doing sex work and she was really positive about that.

And my dad, on the other hand, has always. always been like, oh, you just, you know, you just work in the sex industry and like, you know, you're way too intelligent to do this kind of work, Florence, and blah, blah, yeah. Yeah, it's not great. Maybe he'll change his mind at some point, but we'll see. He's an old man, like, I don't think of it's true. Old white dude. Does it test your relationship with him? Definitely, yeah, it has over the past because I think everyone at the end of it just wants support from their parents. That's what the child's. That's what the child's within us once we want our like parents to be proud of us and stuff so we've had conversations

in the past where he's like you know I just don't think that I need to be proud of you and obviously like oh my therapist quickly yeah yeah shit that's really hard it's really hard to hear yeah a lot of dad's a shit my dad is almost the same less maybe less verbal but he just has no interest in what I do he's just like okay cool all right same diff I think yeah most male men do dads like like that. They just don't get it. Or they just like, they don't wanna think about their daughter and sex

because they just, maybe they just reflect, they're projecting, they see themselves in the way that they treated women. I think that's a big part, isn't it? And then they think that everyone else is gonna treat them like that. And it's like, no, no, no, let's show you a different way.

Yeah, and how's your mom about it? Actually had a conversation recently with her about her following my Instagram stories because I had removed her, you know, like a blocked, blocked my mom and my brother from seeing them. And I was like, why am I doing that? Because every time I tag them in something

and I have my family on my stories quite a bit and I have them on my Instagram quite a bit. And I was like, why am I blocking them? You know, what am I afraid of them seeing? Had the conversation with them and took them both off of the blocking thing. And I was like, you know, do you see my stories? And my mom was like, yeah, I see them.

Sometimes they're okay. I'm like, well, you know, just to be aware, you know, I'm not gonna filter myself because you're watching them. So she was like, it's okay, I'd take them with a pinch of salt. It's like, okay, thanks, Mom. All right. I blocked my whole family from my Instagram.

Yeah, have you. Part of my mom, my mom's like okay on it, but my dad, his girlfriend, my granny, my auntie, everyone, yeah. Yeah, it's hard because you don't want to do that. But then also you don't want to hold your real self back from your social media. Yeah. Especially if you want to promote only fans or sex-related stuff

or talk about a big life sexual experience or something like that. you don't want to but unfortunately sometimes you have to sometimes family members don't get it and that's okay you know you can't expect everyone to be supportive because of their upbringing and their triggers and what they've been taught or maybe brainwash with or whatever you want to want to see it but if they want to be open about it they will they will try their best they will learn even if what they say can be offensive sometimes I think it's really like really cool and I was just for my parents listening I'd be like I'd be

devastated but then I'm so pleased that you're doing it because I'm like fuck someone it's because I just love it like I just think

even like your Instagram is just and even with like censorship and things that you can't share everything even what you do share is so refreshing and that it's very honest

and I think what you share as well is like that it can be quite messy and I'm like all of it like I think you know we have such a depiction of sex through porn and we imagine women to look a certain way and behave a certain way and it's definitely all through like the male gaze but you two definitely prioritise what

you both want and that is a perspective that I've never seen anywhere before and you're just existing as normal complicated human beings with this side of you which is so great because when men tell the story you get a one-dimensional like her breasts bounced and her like Don't glad hair, like, slated down her back, whereas you guys are like warts and all, which is just so refreshing. Yeah, thank you. I mean, that's our origin story.

We met working on a porn set together. I wanted to know how you may. Okay, can we get the story? Because starting our podcast was one thing, but surely there must have been something for you guys. Yeah, so I think, do you want to talk about sex forever? Origin stories. I don't love that forever.

It's like to marry, like the engagement. I want to talk about sex forever? Yeah, we didn't. really know what we were doing. We didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. I think both of us originally really wanted to be feminist porn directors. And that's kind of how we met. I ended up in this like seedy little porn studio in Marlabo in London. And yeah, you came in as like my mentor to kind of like teach me, because you've been shooting your own porn. Like self-shooting. Well, we both have degrees. This I think shocks people because it's like we chose the sex worker life,

We have degrees in film production and TV production. And I was filming my own pornography and like producing it. But again, I was still just stabbing the dark. Didn't really know what I was doing. He found this job that was like gonna pay me 25 pound an hour. I was like, oh, okay, what? And it was dodgy A.F. Oh, it was so dodgy.

Yeah. But from the shitness, you know, we found each other and we ended up moving in together, talking about sex constantly every single night with a cup of tea in our dressing gowns because, you know, London's fucking cold most of the time unless you're in a heat wave. And decided to chuck it up on YouTube.

And we just started putting our conversations up on YouTube and realizing that it wasn't just us doing it for fun. It was actually genuinely helping people. We're like, oh shit, people actually are listening to us and this can be life-changing for some people. We end up getting this amazing email from this girl over in Scandinavia who was saying that she had just got out of an abusive relationship and was content like her mental health was bad

contemplating suicide but then found our YouTube channel and it basically helped her regain her sexuality and how she felt about herself her identity and both Florence and I were like oh fuck we better keep doing this yeah we got keep keep this up and that was like eight years ago from now because ultimately it was just because it was making us feel more comfortable in our bodies and like we were talking about you know like nipple hairs vaginal discharge all those things that no one ever talks about and you're like is this normal and normalizing it between us we were like oh my god i suddenly feel like you know way more confident about my body and way

more confident going into sexual experiences so we thought you know if if this is the if this conversation is making us feel good personally individually then maybe spreading the conversation will help other people and that's like that's the mission really it's just to get people talking because talking is the first step of having a better relationship with yourself your body and all the partners that come into your life yeah it's like we need a big tattoo on our forehead it's like communication is key that is the whole point of sex you can't have good fun experiences if you aren't open to talking about them before after during like the whole shebang you need to do that and we we hope that we help give people the tools to be able to do that even if that is just starting off with your own

personal confidence well that's it i think a lot of people feel like sex is something that's dirty and bad and as long as you feel like that about sex in general you're never going to be able to enjoy it yeah fully yourself because you're always going to feel like you're doing something wrong um and that's like i mean i guess that's 10 for like sex ed but i guess christianity and like religion everything like it's it's laced into everything and obviously as well there's like a huge dollop of misogyny on the side that it's just like women shouldn't be allowed to enjoy sex at all and it's like I don't know I think it's a really like I don't know if it's a new wave I don't know what it's called like but it's a very like brazen enjoyment of sex feels incredibly

empowering in a feminist way yeah so you said you wanted to do feminist porn yeah so we have we have we are educational ethical porn directors um we had a series out with ex-combe Confessions with Erica Lust. We had to stop that, unfortunately, but we're hoping to get back on the horse at some point. It was so much fun. It was literally, I think when we were on set, I was feeling like, oh my God, this is like one of the best days of my life. Like it was just so fun.

The family vibe on set when you're shooting porn is just something else because it's like just so much like raw kind of vulnerability, but everyone's kind of in it together and I don't know. It was beautiful. We did, and there were kind of educational pieces that we did. It was tips and tricks for sucking dicks was the first one. And then tips and tricks for licking clits was the second one. And the plan was to do more, you know, going through like BDSM, anal, penetrative sex, all that kind of stuff.

And we pride ourselves on making it ethical because we have seen what it's like in an unethical porn scenario. And we know that porn is so fucked anyway. There are so many issues with the porn industry. It is literally the Wild West. You know, anyone with a phone could call themselves a director now and that's terrifying for a lot of impressionable and vulnerable people

and we try really hard if we, you know, if we plan to make more porn when we did make porn, to pay people correctly and to make sure that it's an environment where someone has the ability to say I'm not comfortable with this if they don't want to when there isn't that I've seen

on so many sites. Like I've worked in commercial porn, work for like big names and it's just, yeah, it's horrible really watching it you think the women are empowered and in control and they're just not and it's so it's like that with every other industry though you know it's like oh you know equality but really it's like all the cis white dudes making all the decisions and you can't really say shit or do anything to change it yeah making all the goddamn money what's it like on a porn set is it is it sexy or is it like you know they say like on movie sets or they do the

sex things like it's the least sexy thing ever yeah what's it like important. It really depends on the set. It does. I think it depends on how real and how like into it the performers are. Because I think for a lot of performers it is work for them. You know, it's like any other day we'll turn up and we have like we're in a bad mood. We're feeling shit. We're not feeling good. Then we suddenly have to fuck somebody on camera in front of a crew. Maybe we're not feeling it. It's a big ask. Yeah. You'd be turned on but most of the time you're not, it just becomes really normal. It is work. You just see people doing stuff in front of you and it's like, oh, you know, like we do that at home sometimes and it's, it just becomes

really normal and you don't think that it's going to be that way. But I think like there was a couple of times when we were doing our shoots where I was like, this is fucking hot. Well, this is why ethical porn works because yeah, those days where you are feeling yourself and you're dressed well and you're with a family, a group of people that are celebrating you and empowering you to do what you enjoy and then yeah you are more relaxed to enjoy the scene itself and when a scene is good when there's there's good chemistry and when you fall into it you're like oh my god they're really enjoying this this is really really fun and nice to watch and yeah it can be fucking hot you're sitting there like oh my god I need to go to the toilet for a wank oh wow love that normal working day

yeah yeah I've got to stay professional oh yeah yeah I'd never wank over them unless it's like, you know, consent, right? If it's after the porn film, right? Once it's all edited and stuff. I was going to say, wait, that's bullshit. Like, we wank over people in our imaginations all the time. So by now you will all already know how much I love self-love, which is why I am so excited about today's podcast sponsor.

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That's amazing. I feel like everyone deserves to love themselves a little bit more at the moment and this challenge is such a great way to prove to yourself how important self-love is. Definitely. All you need to do is to be able to be able to be able to be able to be. All you need to do to be part of this challenge is head to www.w.com and check out with code SIDT 50 for 50% off your Empress 2. After that, the challenge begins. Good luck, besties. Oh my God, we've got so many questions for you. I don't even know where to start. I have two personal questions. Amazing. Okay. Have you guys ever been in the relationship or

is that a part of your relationship? I'm just so curious. I swear like you're trolling us right now. You're the comments on YouTube being like, are you two lesbains, please? Do you touch pussy? Everyone wants us to be together. Yeah, and I love you to pieces. But no. We're sisters.

We're sisters. We have a very, very sisterly relationship. When we were in hedonism in Jamaica, which is this is like, New Day, Sex Hotel, we had, I had the opportunity to, like, watch whilst you were playing because I was in a relationship and, like, I couldn't get involved. basically and I started watching Reed getting like fucked by these. It started off for two people and then a third came in.

Yeah. They were sucking your feet and like someone was going down on you and I was like, oh. Um, guys I'm going to go. Really? You can't see this. I can't see her. It's fascinating. Because I was listening to Netsu the podcast yesterday and forgive me,

really people on blast on this one, that you were saying about having had a genital warp frozen off. And then you said, my genital warp. And you said, I'll show you next time we're naked. And I was like, that is something that Al and I, as other Pocatos, we've never said to each other and probably never will. Oh, we're very comfortable with you.

Yeah, we can be naked around each other all the time. And yeah, it'll be like, there's something weird in my bum hole. Can you please have a look? Yeah. In France, I'll be like, mm, okay. Good for you. I'm like, please help me. Yeah, we, and we, and we,

done only fans content together but nothing like we've never made out we've never no we've never made out we've done like implied stuff yeah I just don't think it would be what implied nude no it's we're too close now yeah it is literally it would literally be like doing something with your sibling or really really close best friend okay I have another personal question then I can we can I can send you over to Val um you we talked about again in your podcast because I'm like a super stalker fan um stop about how your relationship is now not monogamous. Yes.

And how you're going to, from what I understand, you were in a monogamous relationship and now it's becoming non-monogamous. Oh no. So I was... Well, it was quite monogamous to start off with. Yeah, it started.

So my ex and I were together for about seven years and at the beginning it was monogamous. And of course, like when you're in love, you don't really see anyone else. You've got that tunnel vision. And then as our relationship grew, we kind of tried out non-monogamy. together slowly we're talking baby steps i think a lot of people think with non-monogamy or open

relationships it's like you just go and have to fuck someone and see what that's like and it's like no no no you have to take it bit by bit step by step to really see how both of you both of you feel about the situation and thomas and i were non-monogamous there were times where we fluctuated where um i wanted to fuck somebody and he didn't or vice versa um but i would consider that relationship non-monogamous by the end. And then I did the same with Sam when I met him. He was almost, I'd say, strictly monogamous and probably, you know, main issues because of like jealousy and worries about how he would feel. And bit by bit, step by step, we've sort of moved into a non-monogamous relationship. And I think he's happy saying that we're non-monogamous

now because non-monogamy is the umbrella term for something that isn't just two people. So it can be literally you make the rules with non-monogamy it can be anything that you desire it could be um you know we're monogamous but one of them gets off and kisses other people that's non-monogamy flirting and texting other people that's non-monogamy or going off and having orgies threesomes foursoms moresomes go into sex parties and even if it's not sex related it just it really is down to you you both make the rules and the rules change and ebb and flow as you both go along and you figure it out together I think non monogamy is fascinating for a lot of people myself included because it's so drummed into us isn't it and am I right in saying that

monogamy is just a social construct like it's just a societal thing that we've learned and like I guess we don't know do we it's so hard to say yeah I would say I believe so um you know I wish I could remember his name, some fancy scientists that were talking about us as, as humans. I mean, you think about why we're on the planet is literally to breed and spread and grow, right? So it doesn't really make sense why we'd be monogamous if the whole point is just to create more babies

with loads of other people. Although there are loads of animals on the planet that do do a monogamous relationship. And I feel like Gilamot's mate for life. Yeah, a lot of them last week on the boat trip. On the other side of that A lot of birds mate for life But they also go off and cheat on their birds

Apparently that's apparently very Monogamous relationship You don't know Yeah they might be open and read You don't know the communication avenues Between they're really cool with it They're like yeah Communicators those birds

But there's nothing wrong with monogamy I feel like people look up to non-monogamy It's like that's so cool It's the next step It really isn't I feel like it's a lifestyle choice As much as like your sexual And I think people get insecure as well and would then project it.

Like I think a lot of people would be quite judgmental because they wouldn't like it if their partner did that. But that's like between you and your partner, you know what I mean? Like so for other people, like for me personally, I'm not organized enough. I think I'd be a bit overwhelmed. I'm not, I'm good with Womper. I think it would be a bit overwhelming. I don't think it's in the cards for me.

Also it depends on how much you like love sex and like how important that is in your life. because otherwise like you know you might only need it from one person and that's okay yeah do you feel good in your relationship now is it like is this something that you prefer in terms of having relationship i don't think i could have a relationship that was monogamous i don't i don't think that that would compute in my head there are times in relationships where i am monogamous where you know again tunnel vision you don't really notice anyone else but um i feel like monogamy's like almost like part of my DNA and who i am i can't imagine you know when i think about my future i I can't ever imagine being married to one person. I always imagine like a group of people, a polyamory or some kind of, just like loving relationship between a lot of people where it all works and everything's beautiful and we all look after the kids.

Like that's my dream, but I know it's a very hard dream to achieve when, you know, a relationship between two people is difficult as hard, let alone, extra people, that's complicated as hell. And who's the children? Yeah, oh well. This is probably a stupid question, but like, if you,

If you, if you go, when you go like non-monogamous, non-monogamous. It's a tongue twister. They didn't make it easy for us. When you go non-monogamous, is that right? Now I've said it too many times, it sounds weird. Where do you like find other people? Because I can imagine me doing it and then just be like, I'm gonna go non-monogamous and then I'm like,

actually I'm not, I can't find anyone. So I'm just gonna go like, I'm just gonna come back alone. Like how do, is it like through apps or? Well, you, being, I mean, you call it the scene, But the scene, being in the scene, there is, you... Oh, the scene. Kind of a scene. It's like, it's kind of the people that go to sex parties, that go to fetish parties,

they are more likely going to be open to the idea of being non-monogamous. And also one of our favourite apps, Field. We love Field, Fields spell F-E-E-E-L-D, is an app that really caters towards non-monogamy. I mean, it's great to find sexually liberated. like-minded people on there. I only use that app. I stay well away from Tinder and Hinge and all that. Not to say you can't find great people

and like-minded people on there. But Field, it allows you to have, you can create a... Joint profiles. Thank you. Joint profiles. So I can have my profile. Sam can have his profile and you can connect them together. So if someone's looking at your profile, it will show that you have a partner.

It's just it's very, very positive. towards non-conform relationships. And it kind of feels like the way that, and I've literally been with my husband for longer than, like dating apps didn't even exist when we got together. So I have no authority or experience on it. But I get the impression, particularly with Tinder, where it's so just seedy in the way that it kind of,

it doesn't actually feel particularly in line with the way that even you describe the sex, like sexual, experiences or encounters that you have and the communication that's so important it kind of feels like you want to take it more seriously? I don't know if like the scene allows that more. You're always going to get dickheads

on every single profile. You're going to get people that can't communicate properly, that ghosts that do all the bad things. I just find it just happens way more on Tinder. Tinder has this sort of air of people go on there, very disrespectful they just want, they're on there to fuck. You go on Tinder to fuck, not necessarily

to find a relationship. Hingers a bit more relationship-y but field I just I rarely have a terrible experience on field and I feel like they're just a little bit more tuned in on how to communicate and how to how to how to do sex well I've had terrible sexual experiences on there but there's there's still a lot of understanding and communication and again a lot of people are open to the idea of going to sex parties having threesomes or more sims can I ask about your first sex party I've want to know what I've never been to have you been to sex

Obviously you haven't. I'm fucking thing. You should both come with us. Just to see. I'm not going to see. Can we go? My family still can't say the word sex. We say S-E-X.

Oh no. No, no. There is a lot of shame in my Catholic family. I'm actually going on my first ever sex party this weekend. You're going to first one that I've like been able to take parting because a hedonism I wasn't able to. So I'm really excited. I can't believe I've never done it before either.

No. This is exciting, what you can wear. So exciting. Is that a super question? Do you wear a thing? Well, I have some Ask This Chaps. I have some arstice chaps.

I could go. Love that. I don't know why I have them. So nice lingerie underneath and I bought this like cowboy hat one. I was away last. So I want to wear that as well. Yeah.

I love that there's like a full schedule and like calendar for it. Yeah. Yeah. Sex parties and fetish parties are very similar in that. The only difference is that you do. dress up in latex leather gear for a fetish party.

Sex parties, depending on which one you go to, people, especially if you're not into fetish or kinkwear, it can be a little bit easier to go to a sex party because you dress up in a nice sexy dress or just go in lingerie and the dudes are in suits or you have to dress up. I don't know for like those kind of sex parties. That vibe doesn't appeal to me. Yeah, but also the costumes in general don't appeal to me in sex parties.

I like, I wish I could just turn up, you know, wearing what I'm wearing now. Regular gym and then... We should do like sex house parties. That would be, that would be sick. Is there a way of knowing, yeah? Is there a way of knowing when you go to sex party, like who is up for what and like, up for...

Do you know what I mean? Like, what if you just want to go to like look or like watch and stuff and then is there a way of being like, don't touch me? Or is it, is there a lot of like, People are really... I think it's supposed to quite say it like that. Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

But we don't know that's perfectly acceptable. Is it? Honestly, you will be more respected than you have ever been in any club at a sex party. I was going to say that people are on it. Everyone's a lot of consent. And there's always, there's always moderators walking around and people that are aware of boundaries and consent. You know, like before you go to these sex parties that sometimes you get grilled for it, you know, they're asking you questions. They're vetting you beforehand.

Yeah, I think with Crossbreed, they ask you like a whole list of questions to make sure you're someone that's not going to just go in and, you know, take advantage of people without talking to them first. And they have moderators that walk around and they, you know, that look out for awkward situations because it can happen. But if you want to go and you want to do something with someone, you just ask. You have a conversation with them and that's very normalized. When I was at the hedonism one, a couple of times people came up to me, asked me if I wanted to play. And as soon as I said, no, like, I'm in a relationship and I'm not, I'm just watching, basically. They were like, oh, that's totally cool. And, you know, invited me.

They were like, if you change your mind, just let us know. But, like, absolutely no pressure. We can just hang out and have a good time. Yeah, the respect levels. The respect is amazing. Like, I've never met anyone as nice as people at sex parties. Yeah. They're so amazing.

Okay, I just have questions about sex parties now. Like, do you just like, because I, in my head, it's like, you just walk in and there's just, you guys watch boys, yeah. Yes, the boys. Yes, okay. In my head and it's like, you're all just like everywhere. Is it like that? That can happen, but that normally happens after about midnight to one. Okay.

So you go in and it's just like a normal club night, you know, you go in, people look amazing because they really put the effort in. There's music playing, people are having a drink, a lot of people are chatting. Maybe a couple of people have started. You might hear some like spanks in the distance. Some will be a couple of people walking around maybe topless or a bit naked. But it's normally as the night goes on, then it can turn into that kind of scene. But that was like magnified. I have seen those scenes before.

Yeah. Especially at hedonism. I mean, you were part of a 12 person orgy there. 12 person. Yeah. How's that even worse? It's crazy. Four hands.

I know. Two hands. hands, four, oh my God, I wish I had four hands. That would just make life so much easier, who. I meant like four receptacles, like two hands, a mouth, and you're five. Yeah, five, right, yeah, you're right. You're still the seven people I'm accounted for. What are you doing with your leg?

I mean, footplay, yeah. Thank you. You could give someone a foot job. One of my faith. You're still six short. Twelve people. So again, a 12 person orgy, you're not. all fucking like every single orifice at the same time it's a 12 person you know everyone's involved

and there are you know you're just mixing around with each other but people are off on the side taking breaks people are watching people are going in you know it's it's it's a really nice environment but you're going in there and you're just it can be a bit of a sensory overload which is why a lot of people like them because you don't know what you're doing you're suddenly sucking a tit and you've got your hand and it's just like there's a lot going on I personally cannot orgasm during a situation like that i even find it hard in a threesome but i'm there because i'm enjoying the actual experience of it my mind is like this is crazy and i'm loving it but it's not necessarily pleasurable in the physical sense it's just there's just a lot going on i can't wait it's pleasurable

in the mental sense for this weekend yeah i can't wait to hear about it right you should have on the podcast after you'd been. Please. You'll talk about it on your podcast, won't you? Okay, I'm so listening. Yeah. I'm excited for you. Going. Do you have any, like, limits?

Yes or no, you're just going to go with the flow. I definitely want to make out with some girls. Yes. That's one of my top priorities. And then other than that, just see where the evening takes me. Just make out with girls or? That's the one thing I want to tick off the list. Okay.

But I would love to do loads of other things. I mean, maybe not like tick off the list, but you are going through a by awakening at the moment. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm quite exciting. I'm so proud.

I get to explore that. I feel like proud mama, I can't wait. I was literally watching the new L word last night. I used to watch that when I was 21 or something, and that was the first time I realized. I was just like, relationships between women are actually like a real thing. Yeah. And it's fucking hot.

It's hard. Yeah, there's a lot of. there's still a lot of homophobia with bisexuality. Oh, it's hot, not hard, but yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is hot. But it's also hard. I think it's like insane that, you know, 21 and,

and we're actually going, oh, this is a real thing, rather than it should be something that we're brought up with. I grew up in Brighton, which is the craziest part of it. But I always just had like such a stereotypical vision of my future that was just going to be like husband. and children, very, very traditional. Did that still coexist even when you wanted to go into porn? Did you still have, like, husband and children?

Yeah. I mean, I still have, I'm pansexual, and I still, what I mainly masturbate over is dick. Like, but that doesn't stop me from being pansexual. Just because I've never had a relationship with any other person than a cis man doesn't mean that makes me any less pansexual. But there's a lot of imposter syndrome and intense. unalized homophobia in a long time I felt guilty for being like I can't call myself by or pansexual because I've never had a girlfriend before and I have you know you have to really prove to yourself that that doesn't mean anything you know me using the example of a straight guy kissing another guy doesn't make him any less straight it doesn't change his sexuality unless he's really into kissing that other guy you could just be showcasing the guy um it yeah it's your sexuality is your own and it is what you've

it's true people are so literal aren't they they're like well if you haven't had a relationship with a woman if you're not with a woman how can you be like it doesn't make sense people are just so literal with that people just love the judgment don't they yeah it's so confusing as well when you've got two options because you're like really love dick but I'd like to explore that then it's it's really hard and then you end up going for the easy option which is usually men yeah I feel like a sex party you're right easy a good a good place it's like a buffet just yeah like a Yeah, it sounds like a menu, you've got to order, you can just, like a graze table. Yeah, yeah.

Do you want to ask some of the questions that we have? Yes, we've got so, so many. Alex put up a question box on our Instagram yesterday and then I got a text like two minutes later being like, fuck there's so many. What have I done? Two minutes. Okay. People just want to talk. It's what we're saying earlier about, like the shame.

People want to talk about sex so badly. And we phrased the question. It's like, what's a question about sex that you just don't know who to ask? Yeah. Because that's like one of. the biggest things that I find or like even like I'll have friends for like years and years and years and then you realize you've like never spoken about sex with them and it's like isn't that why but most people don't and like and a lot of these questions you can't just Google them it breaks

my heart I feel like if you're not talking about sex then you must be so caught up in your own head about about your own sex and you must think that you're doing things wrong or you think you're weird or and then that stops you and stunts you from your own pleasure and I mean, I've done the same for years. I've literally buried deep down one of my fetishes. A fetish and a kink, they're two different things. A fetish is something that's like more hard-coded. It's more like serious.

It's more like something that you cannot achieve arousal or sexual pleasure without thinking about it or doing it. Not many women have fetishes. It's very much a male thing because I think it's to do with more visual aids. But I buried that deep down for years and years. and only in the past couple of years, probably with the help of our YouTube channel and our podcast,

if I felt comfortable enough to really own it, not just like say I have a tickle fetish, but do work on it. And since then, the amount of people that message me being like, thank you for normalising this, thank you for talking about my, I've never told a soul, and you're the first person I've told that I have this fetish.

So many people have fetishes as well, and they just, they don't have it in them to talk about them. And it makes me so sad thinking, like, I think about my old self, who wasn't comfortable talking about. It was like, all that fun and pleasure you could have been having. And you're not having it.

And it's not just... It's not just a question as well of not having it. It's also, it's like instead of it, you've just got a lump of, like, shame and sadness. Yeah. Like, it's not like you're just missing the fun. You also have the bad thing as well. Yes, the bad thing.

Yeah. And there's always that piece of you that's just, like, you know, being eaten away at that you can't be fully honest about. And it's when I finally came out about it, I was like, oh my God, I'm whole. I feel like the real me. I feel like I'm finally able to just love the full version of me forever and that yeah, it was life-changing. It really was. Okay, so the questions, I would say

about 30% of these questions are about female ejaculation. Wow, that's fascinating. People very confused, very lost, very, don't understand, but want to understand, what is it? Is it real? Is it a myth? Is it possible? Is it we? like what is it there is a lot of confusion around it can you shed any light on this oh yes have you ever squirted read yes but only

only twice when I was young and using sex toys for the first time by myself I haven't been able to squirt with anyone else actually since then probably because of the shame and stigma and it's made a mental blockage in my head but basically the answer is yes to all those things

there isn't enough research yet into female ejaculation but it's real it's a thing there's a lot of conflicting research the literal research that we have some people say it's pierced some people say it's like secretions from a gland that we have didn't you taste it once you tasted your own squirt and it did not I tasted my pit my piss no I mean that was another time smell and tasted my squirt and it didn't taste anything like Can I ask a question? Ask a question. How did you get, like, where did it go?

How did you get it? I remember it happened once and I was like, did I just wet myself? And it was all over my bed and I was pissed off about it. So I was like, I got to change the seat. The next time I did it, I remember putting a cushion underneath me to soak up. I don't know why. I think it was just what I had available in the room. It was like a cushion on the side of the room.

And I just remember being like, okay, that's interesting. It didn't feel bad, didn't feel good. It's not an orgasm, but it is a type of release. And a lot of people love it. And it's almost like once you learn to squirt and you feel comfortable to it, it opens Pandora's box and you can squirt all the time. I did have one friend who made herself squirt basically during sex

because she was really into like just trying it. Yeah. And then after that happened, she couldn't not squirt. Yes, I've heard that as well. Oh, no, you've unlocked it. Yeah. And I feel like, which is kind of a good thing and also a messy thing. Yeah, a messy thing.

I've had a friend that said exactly the same. How much is it? Yeah. It varies person to person. It could be a trickle or it could be gushing. I mean, what we're thinking of when we're thinking of squirting is the porn version, right? Is on the other side of the room gushing. Yeah.

And that's not everyone. Maybe those people who are squirting in porn have practice a lot. They've honed in on their muscles so they can push it out that far. And sometimes it is piss, sometimes it is whatever it is, some kind of mixture water, but neither of that matters, it's just fluid in a hot sexual situation that is pleasurable and we should just be enjoying it regardless. I always wonder as well, because you know after sex, you do always need to piss. So there must be something that happens inside us that fills our glands.

It's got to be something, you know. I don't, I don't, unless that's a body's way of trying to prevent you getting a UTI. I'm still in two minds because I'm like there isn't really, I'm thinking about the people that squirt a lot, there isn't like a second bladder where it comes from. So I'm like, okay, it's coming from your bladder. Yeah, I'm like biologically, that can't be right. But then I've literally smelled my own squirt. I've tasted my own squirt and it doesn't taste anything like we. but then there's also evidence that came out that said that squirt is 30% we

which makes sense because it's coming from the same place so it's going to pick up urine from the pathway anyway I mean the answer is we don't really know because there isn't enough research on it okay but it is a real thing yeah and it's hot as fuck yeah I swear it a little bit when someone was fingering me I'd love it and they were like oh there's a little like pool of liquid in my hand and I was like oh wow it's really exciting

If you piss yourself, it's cool, if you squirt, it's cool. We love it. Own it. Enjoy it. Is there a Pokemon called squirtle? Squirtle. Every time, you've been like, a tape with my squirt. I was like, oh God.

Oh, God. There are a lot of questions about anal, anal play. A lot of people saying, how and why would you lick a butthole? I don't understand it. It's where shit comes out. Can you please make it make sense? Okay. I'm on one side of this

and reads on the other Can I take a guest as soon on what side? Do you like licking bum holes really? I sent Florence a song today that said, I don't eat ass and I was like, this reminds me of you for a fame. I don't eat ass, yeah, like I love.

I can't get past the fact that it is where you shout out of. Yeah, I have rimmed someone once because they really wanted me to and I made him shower, like clean himself and then baby wipe to make sure that there was like absolutely no residue. And then when I did it, I was just like the position he was in. I was like, I'm not finding this that is hot in any kind of way.

And when people do it to me, I'm like, I don't feel anything there. But that's just me. Yeah. I mean, I think part of the charm is that it is the no-no place. It's the place that you don't want to go to. And it is a little bit like, oh, nerve-wracking and naughty. And I love, yeah, I mean, I've really enjoyed eating us in the past. And I don't even really care if it's not fully clean.

Because I'm just like, that's the whole point of sex. It is good for people sometimes. I feel like if you, if you're on your period and someone fucks you or fingers you and they're like, oh my God, there's blood there, that's part and parcel of sex. that's just a bodily fluid that maybe you don't necessarily want there but it's just that's just part of sex you know you might snot out some cum

or something like that it's exactly the same if you're going around the anus for anal play bingers rimming there might just be some shit there and that just doesn't bother you I know it's human it's just we're bodies we're not machines that are supposed to be clean and squeaky clean all the time

because I feel like that's dangerous dangerous for us to believe in otherwise you know we feel like shame there and it's like hey if my asshole's dirty and you're gonna lick it out and just you don't have to but yeah i think you do have to be prepared like if you're gonna yeah if that's where you're going you know what you're like you know where you're going don't you and i understand why you know some dudes will fuck a girl and be like oh there's blood on my dick and it's just like what do you expect it's a fucking vagina you know when my ex like loved period sex it just excited me so

much because it was like, I think this is great that you're turned on by the fact that there's blood all over your dick. Yeah, that's hot. Some hot shit. And the same with like any, anyone that's into something that's a little bit not just penis, vagina, um, clear, perfect, natural lubrication, which doesn't always happen. We've got discharge and sometimes we do need to use actual lobe. And, and I think it's, it's having all these like, oh, I don't like the sound of that is causing all the shame when you need to just be like let it go it's a human body if you want to fuck that human body just let it go and enjoy yourself but if you don't like it is totally fine too yeah that is okay i've definitely had understandable yeah yeah i've definitely had people like want to lick my

ass like actually so many guys are into rimming yeah and i'm just like i just it just doesn't do anything for me so i don't don't oh yeah if you if you don't want to receive yeah absolutely yeah And if you don't want to give, absolutely. But it's like taking that shame away, if it's like a preference. I like other anal play, though. Like if it's fingers or if it's a dick or if it's a toy, then I really enjoy it. Do you? It's just like the mouth to butt thing.

Yeah, just the mouth thing. See, I'm the opposite. I don't really enjoy anal play. I'm trying. I've tried for years, but I just don't think my butt hole's made that way. So I'm like, nah, just not popping. No, it doesn't feel pleasurable. I like that you're so tenacious, though.

You're going to keep trying. Like for me, it would be like, damn it, I didn't like that. I love the idea of it. I'm like, oh, yeah, anal sounds so hot. It's like so naughty. And then I'm like, oh, no, that actually don't feel that great for me. But I'll keep trying because it will, it probably isn't my body that doesn't love it. It's probably just my mind not allowing me to relax into it.

You have to be super relaxed for anal. That's when it's going to feel good. And also, you need to be really prepared of lube. And the more lube that you do have, the less likely you are to get. shit anywhere yes because that was something that came up in your questions yeah literally how how do you do anal cleanly so you you can douche but we just don't recommend it douching is not I don't think it's good for you I don't think it's necessary the best time to have anal you know listen to your body listen to your

gut if you're having a shit and you're wiping and there's lots of residue maybe that's not the best time to have anal but you can do it with loads of lube get loads of natural loop not not doesn't have to be natural I don't know I said I was thinking of like coconut oil. Coconut oil is really good, but you cannot use coconut oil or oil-based lubricants with condoms to be specific. Or you could do CBD lubs.

There's this great anal lube brand called Howl, which is like a British London based company. CBD and it's water based and they have a silicone one which is made specifically for anal. It's one of my favourite lubs. It's so good. Yeah. And just, you know, get into it. Relax yourself. Use fingers

first. Baby steps. It doesn't have to be suddenly your fucking dog. I mean you can you can even buy toys that are like anal trainers like if it's something that you really want to get into like start off with small things like start with like butt plugs and stuff like that because can be really comfortable yeah plugs honestly heightened sexual sensations so much it's kind of a game changer yeah it could be why I'm maybe it's too much for me because it when you get the anus involved it's a very different type of pleasure than it than vaginal than vulva clitoral it's like a it's almost like super intense in a very different way. Yeah, but some people are, you know, some people have their clitoris nerve endings near their rectum and so you can literally come from having anal or just being simulated around there.

Yeah, it's a beautiful thing, I want it. See, I was going to ask you because you enjoy anal. I was going to ask whether you, you enjoy the actual, like, physical act of it. Put your hands down. Sorry, the physical activity. Shrubbing it in. Or is it like the concept, like the,

oh it feels naughty but is it is in the actual like sorry physical it's like shoving her hands down something I'm just intrigued like what feels pleasurable about it do you want to me um only if I have clitoral stimulation as well because I think for me it's more of a mental thing of being like this is dirty this is naughty like I shouldn't be doing this it's so gross but I'm doing it anyway and also the feeling of being like full in like another very full place it's weird it's like a really weird sensation but if it's twinned for me with clitoral stimulation i come so quickly because it's like it's almost just like such a mind thing because our orgasms make our mind they're controlled by our mind really so

yeah i don't think it's the physical act of the penis or whatever it is in the arse. So men have a G-spot in their bottom-house. They do, yeah. Absolutely, yes. But women don't. Have either of you pegged somebody? Yes.

Is that fun? It's a very different type of sex. I mean, yeah, of course it's fun. It's exhausting. Sex can be exhausting if you're just doing all the work. I mean. All that's trusting. It looks so tiring.

I was thinking, you know, I've got this like strap on on and I'm like, wow, the dude's putting a lot of work, man. And I'm there just like enjoying them, not really making a move, but when I've got my dildo on or my strap on on, I'm like, fuck it out. Go time. It's like a workout.

Like you're doing okay down there. It's like Jane Fonda like. Hit thrust us. Yeah, it's, it's, it's unusual. It's hard to explain because, especially because with a strap on, you don't have any nerve endings, you don't have a penis,

you don't feel it the same way. It's very much the act of it. You can get strap-ons that have, you know, vibrators or insertions that go inside you. But the, the pegging that I've done has been just, yeah, just for them really. It's proof that sex is mind as well as physical sensation. Yeah, and I was just like, fuck, this is intense and he's just there loving it. And I'm like, how can your little buddle take all this?

But all right, keep going, no, bad, good boy. Talk about G-spots. A lot of people saying, is there definitely a G-spot for women? I'm convinced in Capitals that it doesn't exist for me. Okay, so new information came out recently where the G-spot is a myth

in the sense that there isn't a button, there isn't this place. What the G-spot actually is, is your clitoris, and I don't know if you've seen the diagram of the full clitoris. It's not just like this tiny little cute nubbin. it's a whole wishbone looking thing. I had a older on my birthday, it's a size of a Coke can.

Yes, she didn't believe me. It's huge. She thought it was an emism, which is when I sometimes just make facts up. That was the truth. So the G spot is literally clitoris, round the back, you've got all these nerve endings, and it's just basically the internal clitoris. And depending on where your nerve endings are and how big your clitoris your inner clitoris is, you'll be able to find the G spot, but it takes a long time and a long time of

of practice and relaxing into it to be fucking years and years and years to find my G spot and even then I still lose it I'm like oh no okay it's not really there but it also really depends on what you're using to stimulate it because I think you need a very particular fit

to find it sometimes I don't think I've never ever been able to give myself a G sport orgasm because I can't personally like find it myself but there has been particular penises that work just like instantly for the G-sport and so I think it's it does exist but it's just different

and getting like the one chooses the wizard yeah yeah oh yeah it's a full like yeah Harry Potter moment yeah yeah but I think like that's something that so many people women particularly don't realize is that and I don't know what the statistic is but I swear it's like 70% of women can't orgasm do penetration alone yeah well this along with squirting was the number one thing is a lot of people just saying like is it really normal to not to not orgasm during penetration basically are they alone and be like what can they do about it like is there anything they can do or are they like just destined forever to not be able to orgasm during penetration you're absolutely not alone I'm going to join in with

those guys it is the only time I can come through penetrative sex is when I am so turned on and maybe I've had sexual situations like, you know, like I've had sex the moments before. Basically, the only time I can get an orgasm, sorry, a G-sport orgasm to work is when everything is like almost swollen with pleasure. That's when I can achieve a G-sport orgasm. But that's still very on and off. I think we kind of learnt that it's about taking the goal away from the orgasm. because it's when, I mean, we've all been there, that moment where we're like, oh, I'm going to orgasm.

And then you think about it way too much. And obviously it just disappears. We've all been in that situation. So it's kind of taking yourself away from like the idea of like, I really just want to achieve this orgasm. It needs to happen. If you take that away and just enjoy the sex that you're having or the masturbation or the pleasure in general, then you don't have, you can just enjoy like every single bit

because the orgasm isn't everything. Some people can't orgasm. I think there are some people that it just doesn't, it's just not for them. Yeah, it's very rare that you can't physically orgasm. I think the main blockage for a lot of women is our own minds and is not being comfortable enough, not being turned on enough to actually be able to achieve that orgasm.

Or you just distract yourself and you shut yourself off from it. So what would you recommend for people who aren't able to orgasm with their partner? is like to help them. I would say firstly, aside from like other tools and stuff that you can use, if it's something that's really bothering you, there are sex therapists out there and that's their job to help you dissect and understand

what has happened in your past, what's happening in your head, that's taking you away from achieving that orgasm because sometimes it can be like in a trauma, something that's happened in your childhood or in your like teen years or whenever, really. that's stopping you from actually getting there. But I think if you don't want to go like that deep into it,

there are so many other ways that you can explore pleasure and that's maybe using like additional tools in the bedroom, like toys on your clitoris whilst you're having penetration. Because to be honest, the clitoral orgasm is just as great as a G-sport orgasm. They feel very similar, yeah. They can feel similar. Both Florence and I, we both have weeks.

therapists we're huge on therapy and we think that's super important just to get connected back in your back out of your head back in your body and I think a lot of pleasure and orgasms are that we are too in our heads when we need to be in our bodies I would really recommend if anyone is struggling to orgasm like almost like relearning by themselves finding their own sexual pleasure not relying on the other person and if you can achieve an orgasm without that other person then maybe that that other person isn't making you feel comfortable enough to achieve the orgasm.

I really struggle, even with my partner who I can come with all the time. Sometimes I just get so caught up in my head. Yeah, me too. And I mean, yeah, most of us do. And it's so hard to get out of that. You kind of need someone to want to like hold your hand. And be like, no, no, no, we're going to keep trying. Let's not give up.

Like, there's no pressure. You need to hold your own hand. Yes. And do that. My therapist said to me like a few weeks ago, which Blue Minor Reid's brain, He just said, your pleasure is your responsibility. So it's your responsibility to communicate with your partner to make it happen in the moment

because if you're putting it all on your partner, then you're never going to get there. Yeah. And that's quite a lot of pressure for your partner as well. So it's making sure that you are getting the lube and you are buying the right sex toy that works for you. And you are saying, hey, no, I know you've just had an orgasm, but I don't want this to be over.

I would like to orgasm and we're not going to stop until we get there. Or like, hey, can you not come just yet? Is it okay if we do me first, no matter how long that takes, and then we do you? On that, would you have sex toy recommendations for anybody listening who's getting into it? Like a beginner, like a first couple of toys. 100%. Our main one. Well, for beginners, though, I would say definitely start experimenting with bullets if you are really new to the scene of sex toys.

You've never had a sex toy. You need something cute and small for clitoral stimulation that, you know, you might not feel too embarrassed about having. The clitoral suction toys are a game changer. It can be a bit much for me, but... Yeah, it depends how sensitive you are down there. Yeah, and they can be quite intense, so it just depends on how much pleasure you want on your clitoris. But our favourite... An absolute favourite of all time is getting a wand, is buying yourself a wand.

And I mean, you can get like, I think American-sized ones as well. Yeah, like little travel ones. But that is like such a large surface area. And for me, I don't like really pinpointed vibrations or pleasure. It's too much. It, like, it's too sensitive. So I like a large surface area, which is what a wand has. And that kind of vibrates the whole of the area.

I just need to put a caveat in case any of my followers are listening to this because the last time I recommended a wand. Yes. I got DMs being like, how's that? going to fit inside me oh no it doesn't go inside you no I just really want to put that warning out keep it outside yes it's it's just it's just for clitoral stimulation but it's also really great for solo sex I mean I use my one pretty much like every night every day and for partnered sex it's great too so it's it's really easy for somebody else to use on you as well if you feel a bit

embarrassed but the best thing to do is if it's if they're not getting it right you take the reins you hold it. I mean, I have to do that all the time because it's hard to fucking find a clitoris sometimes. I even struggle finding my own. And so if they're holding it and you're like, I'm not really feeling this and be like, oh, just just right here. Hold that there. Or just be like, if you let me hold that there while you're playing with my nipples or you're sucking my feet or like while your dicks in my mouth or whatever, then yeah, oh God. It's so much. To be honest, I don't think all those things. I was like, go, go, go. There's been so many times where a partner has been holding a toy on me

and it's been in completely the wrong place. And I've just not said anything like an idiot. Not like an idiot, let's not say that about myself. No, because it's hard to talk about these things when you're having sex. But I think you're right in saying either direct them to where it actually is or just take control of it yourself.

Yeah. You're definitely going to have better pleasure if you're holding it because you know exactly the points that are feeling great. Yeah, it's hard. hard to do. We've only been brought up with sex ed, which was all about the male ejaculation and all the scary bits, like STIs and not getting pregnant and toxic shock and all that horrible stuff. We didn't learn about pleasure and how to have pleasure, give ourselves pleasure,

and how to talk about it with other people and do it with other people. We're so scared of it, which is why we do what we do. Yeah. It's why we love what you do. And even though we do what we do, it can still be hard and awkward for us to do. But if it is hard and awkward, you just have to push yourself to do it and you won't regret it you know you'll you'll get there eventually you'll get that pleasure you'll get that orgasm you'll get that amazing experience the more you talk and the more open you on yeah exactly just talk to your partner that's the be all and end all we need you for like three more hours please can you come back i've got so many questions 100% please come back we didn't even scratch the surface of these questions no but you didn't ask someone

about jizzing on the face and i'm really interested jezing on the face That's such a good question. She don't want it. Should we do it very quickly? Yeah. I don't want him to come on my face. He says it says it's his kink and that I'm shaming him for it by saying no, but I don't want it. Oh, that's driving me mad.

She doesn't want it. It doesn't matter if it's your kink. If they don't want it, then you cannot make them do it. I think a lot of people hide behind kinks or like, we'll say it's kink shaming when they want a a woman to do something. Pisses me off so much. You have to be so careful with all this stuff because they're, will be people out there that do take advantage of it and you need to fundamentally just always

go back to consent because that is the be all and end or would you could we just ask just to give that listener a really helpful tool what language would you say that she takes back to her partner to just communicate that she really doesn't want to do it yeah he I mean it's so upsetting that he said you're shaming me it's like yes you might feel shamed but it's regardless of that like they don't they're not consenting they're not comfortable with it you can't expect them to be okay with it then they need to have a conversation around this is something that's past my boundary i'm putting down a boundary i would really not like it if you ejaculate on my face i know it's your kink but is there a compromise that we can come to can you know can do you feel

comfortable jizzing on my boobs or explain why you don't want them to come on your face and have that conversation. Also, hear them, you know, listen to them, understand. It's so tough because I don't know what their language would be like. But you can say, like, I sympathise. I don't mean to shame you of your kink. It's really cool. It's something that I'm not comfortable with

that I don't want to be a part of. Is there something else that we can do? Can we find a compromise? Perfect. And also, red flag, if he doesn't take that as an answer, red flag, run. Run, run. What else is he red flag in on that situation

if he's talking about like, oh, you're shaming me for not letting you come up. Yeah, no. Shaming me for saying no. You can't say no to say anything. Like that's not shaming, yeah. Yeah. Please come back.

We promise you'll come back. We promise you'll come back. And especially want to hear about your first ever sex party. Yeah, and we've got so many questions more to go through. And yeah, this has just been brilliant. Thank you so much. This is now hosted by four people. We're just gonna have to come in with you guys.

Yeah, well, you just join you. Thank you so much for listening. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.