Should I Delete That? - The Husbands of SIDT Q&A

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

This week on the pod, the girls are joined by their husbands, Alex and Dave! They answer all your questions about each other, their relationships, their icks and their bad habits. Dave is perpetually confused. Follow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello everyone and welcome back to Should I Delete That. I'm Im Clarkson. I'm Alex Lai. I'm Alex. And I'm Dave. So I thought you were about to have a battle. Well, I mean, I am. I'm Alex won.

You're win. No, I will win. She's heavily pregnant. You're weak. She's so... Yeah, I can take you. Anyway, do you continue. Hi.

Hi. Hi. You've got some questions for you. As I understand, yes. But, before we start the questions, in the spirit of should have delete that, do you have anything good, bad or awkward that you'd like to share with us? We should have prepped you on this, sorry. Alex had an awkward on the way here.

He had such a clangor. Did I? Yes, he did. With the message that you nearly sent to Mel. Oh, Christ. Oh, my God, what? Okay, so I had a dream last night, which was a weird dream, and Em's brought this up now, so I'm going to continue.

Oh, no. Is it a sex dream? Yes, but not in the way you think. It's not sex. It's PG. Okay, so I was at Em's mum's house. Yeah. And this is my dream.

Okay. And I had left our daughter, Arlo, with Em's brother and Emma's brother's friend called Henry. Okay. I then couldn't find Arlo. So I went upstairs and went into one bedroom and found Arlo on the floor. But Em's brother in bed with a woman. Weird. Oh my God.

And then I went into another room and found Em's brother's friend in bed with a woman, but Arlo also on the floor. Really, really weird. So really bizarre dream, right? As I was telling Em about my dream in the car, I had also been halfway through finishing a text to M's editor at Metro. Oh, no. And it then voiced dictated my entire dream into the text.

Oh, my God. That's a sensation. I love that. We like her, but we're not like... Anyway, Mel, he's talking about my dream. Yeah, yeah. Dream about, yeah. So that was really awkward. Coming next week in the Metro.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Excellent. Proper agony and. I have two daughters. Yeah. If you catch you off guard, that voice dictate thing, can't it? It's an invasion of privacy, I think, really.

Yeah. I don't know how to turn it off. Anything for us, Dave? And. Okay. I've been racking with reins and absolutely nothing. Okay, we've got real life questions, though, not from us. Excellent.

I saw this on the, on the. Instagram. Are we allowed one-word answers? You are, yeah. Yes, no. Oh, we're going to start with a nice one. It's for you, Alex. Boy, Alex. Thanks for Clarif. She's talking to herself.

It's for Alex. Be. Not this. Alex, why are you so lovely? Actually. Boy, Alex, what was the most important thing you learnt becoming a dad? The most important thing I learned

becoming a dad. That's a really good one. It's deep as well. It's very deep. I've learned so much already. Has it changed your perspective on life? Because people say that, don't they? After they become a parent, that it changes perspective. Particularly about anything related to children.

Really? I also think it's maybe more emotional. Has it? But it does because there's so many things that catch you off guard and you're like, oh, getting a bit teary at this. I'm like, why? Why? Like specifically to do with children?

Yes, anything like films, like a sad scene with the kids. news has been really heavy. The news has been heavy. So things I just wouldn't have thought about before now get me. But also I think, I don't know, I think I'm just much more aware of myself now. Yeah. It just, it does like completely shift your mentality. It's got to. Yeah. So huge, isn't it? Also, you're looking after another human, so you have to kind of be on it more often. You can't just chill out and just live. It's that the most important thing that you've learned. Can't chill out so much. yes exactly there's so many things

it's a tabbing statement for that yeah all right what is the most important thing okay my most important thing

is definitely time so what I've learned is spending time is the most important thing and that's why I've done my kind of career change

they're working with them yeah so you can be at home so can be at home yeah because I think so many people don't get that opportunity so that's what

it's teaching me the importance of time importance of seeing her grow as well, that is my answer. It's very deep to open this one. Em just showing me a video before from March this year. And I was like, I can't believe she ever looked like that. I know.

Yeah. It's crazy. It's stuck on her tummy like a little trout. I know, and now she's like, hang on. She's trying to roll over. You mean like one of those that goes on the wall? What a real way to describe your daughter. That's a little trout.

She's moved on. She certainly has. She's a regular now. It's unreal. Yeah. She's unreal. Okay. Dave, I'm going to ask you, what's your partner's most annoying habit?

Al has like the ability to click into OCD mode at the most inopportune and stupid times. And it's over literally nothing, big picture. And it's like, we're going out the door and she's like, oh, we've got to do this, got to clean this. I'm like, Al, it will survive. We'll just walk out the door. We'll come back in a couple of hours and it all will be fine. But she gets very het up. it's becoming a bit of an issue.

Yeah, I get that. You could have brought something up more trivial rather than my psychiatric issues, Steve. Mental health issues. Are you going to be like, oh, she's snoring since she became pregnant? If you want to go on to that, I am happy to be able to that. Did she snore when you were pregnant?

No, you do snoring out there sometimes. Good. Yeah. So not in pregnancy, but now. Yeah, yeah. He's had to keep waking me up because I'm snoring that badly. There's been a couple of nights where, so obviously she's sleeping on the side,

and she'll be sleeping on the side, but right in my ear. She really, I went, but she really gets going. And I, like, it wakes me up and I go, I'm never going back to sleep with this. So it's the old tap, and it's budge you over. I woke up, and he'd sent a voice recording of it to my sister. Can we hear it? Can we hear it? I love that.

I don't have my phone, but I will get it. That is, it's a light version 1.0. Guys, this is me here. This is the point of the podcast, Al. We wanted to get to 5 million downloads. We just don't get there. To be fair, I actually do write down some of your sleep-talking phrases. So this is, I would say this is like 50, not even 50% of what?

No, that's not it. Was that something else? Come on, that's mild. That's quite sweet. That's like a bag. I'm sorry. It doesn't capture the essence of what's really going on when it's in your ear. Like when it's like a centimetre from your ear on, you're really like.

But that was like quite a light, early morning snore. Oh, that's nice. New ringtone. New ringtone. The problem is, Al, you brought that up. I didn't bring it up. Oh, what's my most annoying habit? Boy, Al, what's my most annoying habit?

Your most annoying habit. Babe, don't worry about my feelings, I'm fine. I'm too tired to get emotional soon. It's fine. Okay. Excellent. Here we go. He's been given the green card.

You know, it's quite mild, but also I am kind of similar to Girl Al in her OCD. Like, just wanting things right in the house, clean. I also have a perfectionism issue, which I'm dealing with, everyone. Okay? Bigger, bigger, maybe. It's a bigger conversation. Anyway. Different kind of podcast.

Em doesn't understand about, like, dirt on her shoes. I do understand it. I just don't care. Let him speak. You know, when the house has just been cleaned, an M comes in from a walk, particularly in Doc Martens, which have deep rivets.

notoriously. Yeah, that'll be coming off when you're getting. And that's like a sexuality talk. That's another. That's a time. The only being, Al, couldn't get her own, Doc Martins on anything, or so. Yeah, she will need the...

Are you wearing them? No, no. Too heavy now. She felt there. No, so Em will come in and, but completely be unaware that there is a trail of mud through the house. And now into Arlo's Playmath as well. And it drives me slightly insane. That, how much is that stressure out?

But there's a level two to it as well, because when we're out in a walk... Yeah. Em is very confident. She loves her walks, but too confident sometimes because she doesn't care for dog poo. She says, if I step in it, I'm going to step in it anyway, and that's that. Oh, oh, God. I'm sorry. Yeah. I want to understand the confident walker persona.

Because she's so confident. As in, she strives confidently, as in I can walk anywhere. Yeah, I can do anything. It's going to. It's going to manifest. If I step in dog poo, I step in dog poo, but I'm not going to because I manifest it. But surely, as a confident walk, you're also scanning the horizon. There's a buggy in the way, Dave.

What am I supposed to do? Just like, be staring at the floor whole time. No, there's a while to look at. So I've got shit on my buggy wheel. Have I ever stepped in shit? Yes. No. You have?

No, I've gone through it in the buggy. I've not stepped on it. My issue is that it's going to be me. It's going to be me who wipes that poo off the bottom of your shoe. Which is probably why I'm so confident that I'm walking in. Exactly. Yeah, I just feel like life's too short, always be looking for shit. Do you know what I mean?

Because... I couldn't live with that. Because in London, it was everywhere. It is everywhere. But that's the metaphor for life. There is shit everywhere. But you just can't keep, like... You can't just spend your whole life just bracing yourself for shit.

You've just got to live in the moment and just worry about it from people else later. You do actually have a point. Thank you. And I think it can be applied to the rest of it. I'd rather not have shit on well I'd rather not have to clean shit off my shoes I concede

that there has been shit on the buggy and sometimes that is unavoidable because you can't see where the front wheels are going you have never had to clean shit off my shoes since Ollo's been born Can we just physically on this look? That says everything

but it doesn't Are you, are you, he's lying Are you as like anal with I have a bit of Cheap, Joe. Very cheap. With tidying as well as cleaning, or is it just like cleaning? Yeah, tidying and cleaning.

Are you kidding? How does he fucking bonsai? I wish you were, like, I wish you were in all about tidying. We have touched a nerve. We're anal about clean. He's so anal about cleaning. I've told you he puts the toaster away. Would you rather the house be clean or tidy?

Clean. 100% clean. I'd rather it be tidy. And that's the issue. Yeah. Yeah. I would, so we have a nice. kitchen.

We're going through lots of issues here, but we're going to, it's a husband's episode. Here we go. I love our kitchen and I love the kitchen surfaces.

That's why we, you know, we got them. Because we like them. That's why we got them and there's other reasons you got them. No,

like, yeah, yeah. Throwing crap in them. But if they're nice, why cover them? Why are we covering them in so many utensils? Because that's why they're there.

We have cupboards though, and that's my... Not for toast, you can't make a coffee in a cupboard. Well, you can if you try it. So would you like put the toaster out and put it back every time? Yeah. Which, you know what that causes? Crumbs everywhere, because it means you have to clean the toaster chef every time.

But who's cleaning the crumbs up? Well, I just want to eat toast. Like, I simply won't eat... Because of the crumbs. Because the toasters are not out. I'm not going to get out of sight out of my life. Toast just doesn't exist. I'm not going to get it out just to eat.

Like, so annoying. Yeah. If I think if I think if I think, if I think you'll know why. The oven's gone. The fridge's in the cupboard now. So are you your minimal things on the work top? Yeah. Always.

Yeah. What about you? Well, I mean, we're going through. We're trying to design our kitchen at the moment. So I'll come to you for advice. Yeah, I do. Yeah. I think we are going to have one, a larder thing that you put your toaster in.

That's what, Alex, that's our aspiration. That's what you need. Yeah, like a mini... Yeah, like a... Like a bread bin for the wall. Yeah, but not one... I don't like the idea of having to put it out and then put it back in.

No, yeah, you just... Yeah, yeah, that's the dream. Yeah. That's the dream. Nice. Okay. Biggest ick that the girls give you. I'll handle that one. Next to...

Not collectively. What's the biggest it? He already said I look like more tisha this morning. Did he? No. And he came in and he gave him as hint. Geoffrey. You do look like Dharma.

So Em has got a bit of more tissue vibes going on with the dress. It's the bottom, not necessarily the whole dress. You stop looking at her bottom. No, the bottom of the dress. I knew when I walked in and David looked to me, I was like, something's coming and I'm not sure it's going to be kind.

Anyway. Anyway, the current ick with Al is her ability to snore. No, damage a pair of socks. within a day of them being fresh on as in new out of the packet and having her little toes

creeping through the holes and she'll put, because she's going to put her feet up now, you know, and all the rest of it. And there's a little peeky peek out the top, out of the turn. You made me feel sick now. You're giving me the egg. And I look at it and I go,

well, considering this week we literally had to cut her wedding ring off. I think the fact that it's her toes is really saying a lot about where we are. But it's happened on multiple occasions. It's like a. a reoccurring nightmare. And do you put the socks back on then

and know where the toe holes are? Are your toenails really long? This has happened like, come on, day by once. Three times. Okay. And does she wear it again? Yes, so she'll re-offend. Reoffend.

Yeah. She's never... Pete offender. I get it. Well, you kind of get it because you buy a pair of socks and then day one there's already a hole.

All right. So, yeah, that's my current ick. Yeah, there you go. That's such a weird egg. Come on. When you... The way it happens is how's feet go across.

And I'm looking at the TV and the feet are sort of like there. Move out then, honestly. That's a solution. Just go. I think you could thrive in most circumstances, but as a single mother, I don't see it for you. Neither do you mind. I don't think it's quite right. Keep in for now. Yeah.

So that's my code. Alex, do you have an egg. Let's start this car. Come on then. That's a nice phrase. I like that. Start the car. I have fear.

It's not bad. is you stand by it Oh interesting So I don't know if anyone's seen recently on Instagram But a lot of Dave's just on LinkedIn A lot of influencers Have miniature microphones

And it started to happen And I was seeing it happen And it has started to be like a viral issue That everyone has seemed to have contracted And it just gives me such a strong ick You're not Madonna it's the fact that they kind of clip on is like a little like oh or you hold them even worse like a little mouse microphone

like it just gives me such an hick and then bought one did you actually I got two actually I got two for the price of for the purpose of what my career Dave so sorry this is it sound quality I assume yeah it is sound quality I did record something with it and I gave myself the ink because I clipped into the hotel dressing room rope I was like oh no walking in the hotel

and is it's evidently better than... I don't think so. Okay, excellent. But you know what? She feels confident and she thinks she looks cool. But that gives you the...

Yeah, I can see that. Yeah. While you're on it, Al, have you got an egg for Dave? I quite like the microphone. I get what you mean. Have you got one yet? I got one ages ago

and they lost it. I don't know where it is. Do you want my other one? Yeah, I got to you. Put it in the place for you. Oh, God, a nick. Oh, God. We're all thinking it.

I need to think. I know the ick already. Alex's got Jeffrey Dahmerglasses That's his That's his elephant in the room I think Alex's it should be crossfit I'm actually I stand by that

He hasn't been for two weeks He's letting himself go The dream's over Oh my God The dream is over I know I'm actually round Real crossfitters Would not go off for two weeks

No no no no no No no no he's going to really upset him Don't say that Sorry sorry you are a real crossfitter Alex He'll go home and get upset about well I will I will Go on Al

What are you thinking? I can't think of one. What are you thinking? What are you pointing at, Dave? Oh, no, that isn't it? We've talked about this on the podcast before. What are you pointing at? He's pointing down, but hang on.

He did point that it's willing to be. I mean, if I want it is there, I've got problems, but that's my belly button. We've talked about this before. The fluff. I love the fluff in Alex's belly button. Boy, Alex is so, so cute. What makes you feel like?

Sick. Because I can see it and it's disgusting. I like to fish it out. I asked to. Yeah, she does. And it's weird because it's always the same colour. It's no matter what you're on.

It depends on your t-shirt you're wearing. No. He's always dark grey. Always dark grey. Doesn't matter if he's born white. Maybe that's so. Today's t-shirt. That's an appointment with the belly-bussing consult

and I'm not sure, but that's a bit weird. Okay. Same colour. Always same colour. Mine's always different. I have a question. Are the girls different in real life compared to their online personas?

No. Well, I'm not. I'm not sure of your online person. I only have face value to go on. So I can't really answer that question over to me. No, I think, obviously, I spend more time with M than I do with Al. But I think M's pretty much the same. Yeah, I think all the same.

Yeah, I think it would be very tiring to be someone else. To be someone else. Yeah. Yeah. What's the people kind of see through it as well if you're just kind of putting on a persona? Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. I feel like sometimes I'm more.

negative in real life than I ever am online, but then my negativity is so short-lived that I don't know. Maybe I am. I don't know. No, I think you're, I think on balance. Yeah, I think you're pretty pretty much the same. Yeah. I'd say you are too. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I think I'm more quiet online. I don't know. Yeah, it's because you can't, it's because you can't do it as you go. I can't, I can't do the multitasking. Incapable. Yeah. So I think you're probably just quiet because I have to, you literally have to be. I'm silent for 24 hours and then suddenly there'll be like 50 stories for an hour and then I'm off again. Elusive, I like it.

Isabel would like to know why you get changed to go to the corner shop. Okay, fair question. I don't like going outside the house and tracky bottoms because I think they're for inside the house when you're feeling a bit slobby. That's why I think of it. What do you think about that? That's probably a lot of the audience are probably listening to this going, Fuck you. What a...

Correct, exactly. To be fair, though, I did do it the other day. Yeah, so controversial because I was very tired. I think I only got like three or four hours sleep and I went to get some pastries. Does my head in that you get changed to go? You should see the kip of me sometimes. So I call Al the melting candle.

I said to you last night, I looked like a melting candle. Because you're never sure where a body is under everything that she's wearing and she's got like these long, like jumper, t-shirt, trousers, and then the holy socks, but like everything going on and you're like, it's like it's all dripping off her. Yeah, it's very weird. Are you with me? Like that description doesn't really sell it, does it?

No, it doesn't. But anyway. We need Dave's thoughts on the boats have wheels fiasco. Do you think boats have wheels? No. Yeah, obviously you don't think boats have wheels because both don't have wheels. Is that the, sorry, what's the saga? Oh, God, Dave, you miss so much.

He misses so much. Alfort. No, no, no, no. I'm not even going to tell you what Al thought. I'm going to show you what your wife thought. I mean, it doesn't surprise me that Al thought boats had wheels. It should. I have wheels and a motor and wheels on our boat.

No. No. No? You do. You do. On the bottom of a boat. I'm sure of it. You do.

No. On a seat. sailboat, you'd have a rudder at the back. I'm thinking Titanic. Didn't have wheels, Al. It didn't have wheels. How does the boat move on water? Oh my God.

With either the propeller or the rudder. I thought that's how they went. Boats. No. Propeller at the back. Propeller? Yes. It's not a wheel.

I take it back. Dave, I've got something else to tell you while we're here. Please carry on. Did you know that Alex didn't know that two-seater cars existed? Girl Al. How would I know that? I love how serious of how would I know that. How am I supposed to know that?

I'm going to have to start telling you. I've never been in a two-seater car. I'm not into cars. How would I know that? No, you aren't. No, but you have eyes. Okay, actually, you know what? I actually want to talk about this onto a microphone.

I got shit for that because Al didn't know that two-seater cars existed, and I gave her shit for that. And then people started commenting to me saying I was really privileged because I knew the cars had two seats. I was like, yeah, I'm privileged that I have eyes and that's about the extent of it on this one. Some cars have one seat. Those cars not have back seats.

An F-1 car. Yeah. Fuck off. Are you kidding? I don't think I've ever seen a car without a back seat. Without a back seat. What? Without a back sheet.

Do you never see the car without a back seat? Like a Ferrari? Or a. Porsche or a Lamborghini. I don't mean the very back. I mean, like, are you talking the very back? What does that mean? I don't mean the very back.

I don't mean the very back. Yeah. And then when we left, what was outside? Master MX5 just on the outside of the three. She took a picture. She'd never, like... Well, this girl did learn to drive in a Chrysler a seven-seater or something, didn't? A seven-seater.

Wow. So she's been used to back future planning. So she couldn't envisaged your world where her car got rid of such space and elegance. Oh, practicality. Oh, dear. That's hilarious. I'd forgotten. I think people sometimes think you put that on.

Do you know? No, she doesn't. No, I know. I can't think of anything specific, but I'm sure there are many other. What was recent? There's quite a few. There's too many. Yeah.

It's a bit thick. I'm just thick. No, you're not a thick. Is it common sense? There's something missing. There's a missing link somewhere, yeah. How does it affect? This is so good.

Lots of you set this thing, and then she's put both spellings of effect because she doesn't have to spell it. I'm with it, by the way. Yeah, me too. I'll never know. How does it affect you guys when we get hate online?

I guess Dave wouldn't know. Well, no, I do know. Like when, I think there's been various periods across the years isn't there, where you've not necessarily posted something controversial, like post is something that, you know, brings up conversation. I think I am trying to always be the rational one that ultimately it doesn't matter to try and move her past it.

Step away from it. Yeah, step away from it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like she gets into that, like, three, four hours of, and I'm going to put it out, I'm going to do this, do this, less and that. And I'm like, yeah, but in five hours it'll be absolutely fine. I usually take the post up. Hence for the pocket. But, yeah, I think, obviously, I don't like a scene, like,

but actually when you read, then I would read the post, and I go, there's nothing here, Al. Just move past it. Your perspective. Yes, that's probably what I try and provide. Yeah. What about you, boo? Yeah, obviously it's not nice.

But I think to Dave's point as well, it's like trying to rationalise it, but also when you're being trolled online, it's an irrational thing that you're trying to rationalise to you as well because you're in that space so trying to tell you to like

move out of it is quite tricky because it's hurting you yeah and I think it's been harder for you as well since Harlow's been born 100% yeah I think you were quite black and white about it

before but it's a bit more hard now oh really yeah I mean it's never happened to me so I can't fully understand it but I guess it's like telling someone to not be upset about something that's upset them

they need time to but also deleting the post does sometimes help but it's not always the answer because also it's giving them the power which you always talk about it How does it affect you? Oh it twofold

One, it upsets me that you're upset and two, it frustrates me and angers me that these people are actually like bringing that negativity to such a positive space Yeah and like I don't mind obviously I'd say very naively but I don't mind people having opinions

if it's said in the right way But when it tips over the line to hateful, whatever you want to call it, then it's like, why do you bother? Yeah. So I can't understand it. I never comprehend it. But, yeah, it's, um, opinion's good because you're talking about things that should be conversations and debate and all that and move things forward, which is great.

But when it's over that line, then I just don't get, I don't fathom people who can do that. But that is the online world, isn't it? In a nutshell. Yes. Yeah. But also I think what I used to think about it, was the very black and white approach of why are you letting them upset you? And it's what you talk about, about giving people power.

Yeah. Why are you letting them have the power on your emotions? Like, they mean nothing to you, as in that person who's being a horrible human. Why are we giving them that power to affect you? Which I like, as I thought, but it's not easier said than done. Yeah. I'm all over the place for it. Sometimes I'm like, yeah.

I think I imagine it probably catches you in certain emotional states. or whatever and you're more susceptible or whatever and you and as much as Alex was like, just come on we've done this before, move past it. It's difficult. But it's also like I think I'll and girl, Alan, I'll both do it. Like you use these people as a stick to beat yourself with.

Like there's some things that they won't hurt at all. Yeah. And then when they catch something that we're insecure about and then it gets you, it's like, oh and I think motherhood's been that for me. Really? No one said it because I don't share Arlo. So, you know, I actually haven't seen

really any criticism. Like, I've had a couple of sort of, you know, annoying, whatever. But I can be very, like, in my head, I'm like, you don't know my kid, so you don't know what's best. But I think that's something I get defensive about because I want to be a really good mum. So I'm like, 100% sure of who I am, kind of everywhere else. But in motherhood, I'm like, I don't know who I am fully because no one ever has

a clue. And I'm just trying my best. So I'm preemptively scared that somebody's going to criticize me as a mother because I think that would cut me deeper than anything. So I think you just use them when you're, it's annoying because you just use them when you're feeling vulnerable to hurt yourself with, if that makes sense. So then there's nothing rational that you actually can say.

And I find when someone says one thing, I will then, I can spiral from there and be like, yes, I'm this. And I'm also this, this, this, and I'm disgusting. And I hate myself. Are you adding to that comments? Literally, I like, write it for them. Sub tweet. Oh, fun.

Oh, listen, I've got a really nice question. Neither of you'll do it justice, I didn't think. Read. Build us up. I know. Or just break us down. Okay, fine. Breathe me wrong, Dave.

What do you love about your wife that she might not know or recognise in herself? Well, to what we've just spoken about, Al doesn't realise how strong she is. Oh, how sex. That's true. Physically. I don't know my own wrestle for us.

And I often don't know my own strength in that. There is that. No. You look at the super toes. But she's like the Hulk, isn't it? No, she doesn't know how she's strong she is. She doesn't give herself enough credit. And given what she's been through, what she does, you know, all of that stuff combined,

she should give herself more credit. So that would be my one. Did I do it credit? Yeah. Thanks. Okay. Smashed it. Alex, your turn.

You've got to do it justice. Christ the Redeemer, come on. I think we always joke about M being, are you being, like, intelligent? But also, I don't think you actually know, like, I know you jokes because you're so confident, but, like, know how intelligent she is. Like, I don't know if you guys,

how often you talk about how many books M reads, usually, like, back in the day, it was, like, one a day. And, like, all realms of topics, like, super deep, like, factual history stuff. like her levels of intelligence is like unfathomable particularly with like just facts about history

blows my mind but M doesn't like she just goes well yeah I read and yeah that's obvious but I was also the thickest up my brother and sister and me so like I've got her work yeah Are you good at history and a pub quiz Yeah she's insane

Excellent Insane A pub quiz is a different A difficult thing to If it was a history pub quiz You'd win I don't know hands down you would I don't know

But it's interesting you talk about reading intelligence and all the rest of I read nothing really I read a couple of And yet you're so smart That's what he was waiting for I'm just going to pour It's amazing honestly But Al does read a lot and listen to a lot of podcasts And like you know

Lots of and she's very knowledgeable and so much stuff And it just reminds me every time I need to read more Because I just don't absorb any information This is the thing I read very useless stuff about philosophy and psychology. It's so super useless. I go down like, what's the meaning of life.

You've written a best-selling book. But you read all current affairs. You're up to date on all current affairs, and I'm not. So you have to tell you tell me what you like, summarise for me, like what's going on. So it's like different reading. I don't think you should underestimate that date. Like, I don't think that many.

Like, yeah, I like, quite. M's high up on the political current news affairs agenda right now. Yeah, you. You always are, that freaks me out, yeah. Hmm, yeah. But I couldn't do that. I get very bored trying to learn the thing, that I can't read nonfiction books.

Like the stuff that Al reads, Girl Al, like the philosophy stuff, like I have no interest. I don't care about the meaning of life at all. Do you're more like Colleen Hoover? Oh, Ferry. Oh, my God, love. So I got to dig down.

Which one was there? Ferety. We were in the airport and said, what should I buy? It was probably the first book in probably 20 years, A, that I've read. read cover to cover in and not put it down. So, did you read the acknowledgement?

Good. The acknowledgement, cover to cover. Did you read those too? Probably not. Well, then you didn't mean to cover. Liar. You don't me on the technicality. Also, Colleen, if you're listening, please do.

Please come on. Please come on. It ends with us. I loved that. Yeah. Who's just bought the rights? Netflix. Yes, they have.

Probably weeks with a spoon. She buys rights for everything. Yes. Oh, for everything. Yes. Yes. Yes. That would be really good.

playing Verity. Is she? Yeah, and Dakota. In love with Blakely. Fanning? No. Johnson.

She's a great Johnson. She's playing the writer. Interesting. I didn't. I imagined them the other way around. I imagined Blake Lively to be the wife. I thought she was ginger, the journal. I thought the wife was blonde and I thought the main character was brunette.

Anyway, super boring. Yeah, sorry. I'm intelligent, very intelligent. But you're, yeah. But you're interested in that sort of thing. I don't have that. But that's, I guess, why that works and this works and this works. Yeah, you'll have to balance each other.

You do love a rabbit hole. I don't love a rabbit hole. I don't love rabbit hole. I get bored. You do. You love your, you were watching ships in the sea yesterday. Oh, I don't like this. North Sea talk. I'm just happy I'm out of Orca Talk, to be honest. I'm happy you're out of the Italian fuck boy.

Sorry, I'm missing me. Oh, yeah, I did go into a town. We are thinking of town. Sorry, no, sea talk. What on earth this sea. North Sea talk. So they're the big fishing trawlers. The Norseey.

And they have these massive waves. Well, yeah, I'll get those boats in the norsee, but where's the top? I just see what seems it is. On TikTok, right. How insane is that? The album shows these to me every day. At least 20 times a day. I can't watch them.

Give me anxiety. I know the song off by heart now. It's not my heart song, didn't it? How many people do you think actually fall off the back of the boat? How many hours of your life recently have you wasted to that? Oh, no, minutes. Oh, okay. They're very short videos.

But loads of minutes. What other TikTokos have you gone down? Oh, well, obviously, all could talk before this. And then Alex's talks will be way worse than mine because she's a rabbit hole girly. Like, I get myself out of them really quick. Is that a new TikTok a phrase as well?

No, I just coined it. Oh, okay. Rabbit hole girly. Which makes it sounds like you're super into sex toys. Having said that, I found the saddestest. fire two-in-one, a huge sex toy underneath the stairs. Oh my God. Why?

I get sent so many sex toys. Have we spoken about? Yes. You said this last time we were here. That's what reminded me. Anyway, yeah, so we had a whole shelf in Arlo's room and we had to move them when she was born. So now they're on the stairs.

So they didn't become a play toy? Yeah. They'd probably be really good, actually. They vibrate, they move. Silicon, probably quite safe. Yeah, you can chew on them. MTA. Boa can probably...

Boa, yeah. Let's not do that. Can you imagine in the park what's Boa got? She's got a six-sixth? She's got a knob. She's got two and one satisfied. She's a rabbit hole girly.

She really is. Booa is a rabbit hole girlie. She really is. Have you seen the video of the dog vomiting up an entire dildo hole? No. It is like the

classic rabbit hole girly. The poor thing. It's at the vets. obviously in a lot of pain. David, you still scared of social media? I don't think I've ever been scared of it. I'm not on it,

but no. Whenever I hear about red flags, the first one's always like if he's got no social media. And it never occurred to me back in the day when we met that he didn't have, that never occurred to me.

Maybe he does. Sarah has just had a really, like, crazy experience with a guy. Yeah. And he doesn't on his social media and I've said, biggest red flag. You've got something to hide, haven't you?

No, is that, is that it, though? Don't be so defensive, Dave? Yeah, you're being really defensive. So he's got some. something to hide, as in, because they're not on social media, you can't delve into their everything before you've met them. So you've got no details to go on, you've got nothing to make a judgment on, and you have to make it on face-fact, take them on face value. Is that the problem? No, I think the problem is that...

No, I don't think. Is that the issue? No, I think the issue is, I think the issue, is that people... Like, you might have to chat to the person get to know them before you actually Dave, we really like you. Don't worry, it's fine. I just, I think the issue generally would be that it's a bit, it's odd that it's just odd. People don't like odd, do it? Like, have you had to delete your social media for a reason? Yeah, look what you're hiding.

Did you delete it before you met out? Not because you don't have it, but because everyone else does. I think that's the weird thing. Right. But I like it. Look, he's got his 20-year-old Cassio, watch on then. Conversely, do you think you would have learned anything from my social media? Absolutely nothing.

Thank you. Oh, I disagree. I think you can tell a lot about someone through the social media. But from Dave's? Would you have learned anything from Dave? That is harsh. I don't know. You probably put a golf.

No, I wouldn't put a pen. No, that's true. There'd be nothing, which be Black page. That's exactly what I mean. But I think you can learn a lot from someone because regardless of whether they're putting up something that's like, oh, look at my life. They're straight where you know that they're showing off about their life. Yeah. Or if they start putting mundane stuff, you're like, well, you take that personally out because I do.

A little bit, a little bit. Yeah. Well, me and Dave. they've actually sit and judge you, but I judge myself, it's fine. You were thinking about starting a daddy account, weren't you? A dad influencer account. I said I should do it. What would you call it?

Just to keep me busy while I'm off. What would I call it? I don't know. I have a question with that one in mind. Do you worry about the impacts of social media on your children despite your wife's jobs? Yes. Yes. But I think by the time Arlo's grown up, M will have made,

I'm an owl will have made difference like your other creators in this space are all making differences or hopefully making differences you guys certainly are to educating people about social media so by the time Arlo is of age to have an account

hopefully the world be better if it's not well then I hope that we educate her to understand it more than we did growing up yeah what about you guys yeah because you guys are the I guess you're the positive side of social media rather than the negative

side. I think, yeah, it's just the exposure. Like, I just want a kid to grow up and have an innocent free childhood as much as possible. Like, I didn't know my ass from my elbow until I was, well, probably about 37. No, but I would want that for my kid. I wouldn't want them being an age-old teenager by the time they're eight. Yeah. That's just my feeling anyway. So, yeah, I think it'll be fine, though. Are you worried out? I'm not there, yeah. I'm more worried about like the baby coming home from hospital not knowing like how to feed it I think I'll get there in like a year maybe

but I think it'll be it'll really depend because we don't know for having a boy or a girl and I think I'll be a bit scared if it is a girl do you think a little bit I'm more scared if it's if we have future kids of a boy yeah I am too because of like the man of fear

Andrew Tate like all that like I feel like it's so much easier for us to talk to girls because we are girls we know girls we're in yeah we've got that experience but I'm so out of my depth with like the man has fear shit and that terrifies me

like hearing like from teachers and stuff about like what kids are exposed to it's just wild I think I'm more scared about eating disorders that freaks me out a bit obviously a boy's going to have eating disorders too but you're going to be in such a good place too yeah yeah hopefully

too serious let's move on what is the most bonkers thing your wife has ever done oh I've got a good one I'll jump in here Dave, don't worry. Oh, no, one of, yeah, more drop-kick. Yeah, that was a great. It's cool.

I'll come back to the drum kit. No, I don't want to talk about that. Em was doing a ad on Instagram, and I was sitting in the office and I looked at the window, and she had enlisted two of her friends, and they were walking down the middle of the road with three toilets.

Literally, and we have nice neighbours. We went to Blombie, got them for 70 quid. Yeah. How weird? Sorry. Walking down the street. Hold it. So, Em had gone to buy.

I was seven months pregnant, so I wasn't carrying my own. Okay, individual toilet. Like, porcelain toilets, and M thought it would be a good idea for the ad, which, to be fair, performed exceptionally well. It was brilliant, yeah. So I'm trying to think what brand it could have been. We've got time. But the weird thing was that, I mean, the embarrassing thing was that

Em then sat in the middle of the road on a porcelain loo that obviously wasn't plumbed into the middle of the road, whilst all our neighbours were watching at their windows. One had a poo. Did you? Yeah. And then she took a shit. I don't know why I do it all so close to home.

Like I shot so many ads on the same corner. Yeah. Did the blueberry on that street. Did the Lourole dress on that street? Did the cart leaf blower? Leafblower was great. You're not brave. We're going to get the leaf blower back if you guys want to get it on.

We'll get that baby out super quick. I pretend to use in the leafblower. It's got a baby. Oh, okay. I thought you meant with like with the air and the wind. No, that would just, I'd need a. Yeah. Yeah, other way.

I don't think at Dyson, we've talked about this. I don't think Dyson is strong enough. No, you need a Henry. Henry's got a good sucker. Henry, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing. Oh, yeah. Drum kit. Oh, yeah, the drunk kit.

I mean, actually, it's funny enough, I don't know. There's a video on Drumio, which is a YouTube channel, which is Chatsmith, drummer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. So good. And basically, he listens to a song that he's never heard before without the drums on it. and then he's supposed to basically go, right, this is how they would drum that song. And it's 30 seconds to Marr, Jared Leto's band,

a really good song, and it's an amazing drum piece, and he literally listens for about 15 seconds and then drums it pretty much to perfection without even the edge of it. And it's incredible, it's really good. And so I showed out, and then we got into the drum kit conversation.

Well, I was like, that could have been me, but you weren't supportive enough. Was that the start of the drum kit? No. So Al constantly blames me. for the drum catch, she goes, you weren't supportive enough because I didn't set it up. I did set it up and then

the only use it got was Betty chewed the jumpstick. I sat at it once. He did. It was a nice seat for me one day. My problem was that it was electronic. That was my problem. If it had been a... Yeah, but there was a reason it was electronic

because we're in a bit block of that. And we're not having a full drunkie. Yeah. It doesn't sound like you are supportive enough, actually. Thank you. I do feel it still have been. side about that. I just, yeah, anyway. We're not buying a drum.

Get a violin, that's small. That's a nice one. Or a recorder. She makes a nice noise. Yeah. She can play that. I think the fun bit will come in with a learning. Something new. Favorite thing about your wedding days?

Watching Em come down the aisle. Oh. Yeah. Do you remember it? Yeah. Or it was a bit of blur? It's all a bit of a blur. but there was that moment

I was like I'd know you just get a bit goody also a bit like emotional Did you cry? All the OSHAs cried I did have a little tear but I don't think it dropped Okay

Has I been born It would have been a bucket Yeah yeah No I was very emotional But it's one of those things I'm like I don't want to be up here crying It's that

Yeah yeah yeah That toxic masculinity There you go There you go But yeah But yeah Walk down the aisle

Yeah, I've got obviously lots But that's my own one I remember Bua from you walking down the aisle Wasn't she crap Like not crying Like maybe another was also She was To be fair

Box of Andrek What a hell She was She was Yeah we didn't think that through So we had booer at the wedding Obviously And when I was coming down the aisle

She hadn't She was so excited Because going down the aisle It was like all the bridesmaids you were there, like all of her family and friends were there. So she was, like, losing her mind. And then I was there, and then she couldn't get to me. So she was, yeah, like, whimpering.

Dave. Yeah. No, I think similar. Like when, so Al came down the stairs. Thankfully, she nearly did, but didn't fall down them, which was good. And then I think I had a wobble, actually, in, we're doing the vowels at me. And I sort of, oh, yeah, that was that. But I think.

That was the sort of single point, but the overall thing, because it was coming out of COVID hours, and it was the first time we've all seen our families for a long time, friends as well, and it was just a proper good old knees up. Yeah. And I remember M up. The dress. The dress. What did you do?

Split it? Oh, yeah. I didn't do it. It split. It's split. Whole boo. Victim blaming everything. No, but yeah, just the whole thing.

Oh, it was so funny. Yeah, that was bad. I'd use Kirby grips to fix it. Bad times. Bad times. And pull your jacket and you. so I look like Dracula. Always good for a comment.

I'd like to name Mortisha. There's a theme. But would you love them if they were worms? Hang on. Can we tell the worm story? Yeah, we can tell the worm story. No, you don't know. Okay, so bearing in mind the question that just been asked,

we went to fishmongers because we want to give Arlo some lovely fresh fish in fish cakes, which M is very good at making. I didn't want to buy fish because I was like, it would probably have a parasite in it if I get it from the supermarket because I just got paranoia about meat and fish and stuff from supermarkets. And also, we once mentioned, it was like, you know, organic and wild, because I don't eat this, you know, I just wanted to make it good. So I went out of my way to go to a fishmonger,

and I made these little fish cakes and I bawled them all up. Yeah. When I was pulling them up, what did I see? Little worms. Parasitic worms. Parasitic fucking worms. In the fish. It's so disgusting.

It could have been worse. That is actually disgusting. So would you love me if I was one of those worms? I would so love you, but I would probably be sick quite frequently. Yeah. It's constantly nauseous. Yeah, constantly nauseous. Would you like hang out and stuff?

Would you come today? Are you like life size in this scenario? Yeah. No, no, no, I'm just a worm. Sorry, I'm a bit lost here. Your worms. We're worms. She's a very pregnant little worm.

Would you still love me if I was a worm? Probably not. How would we have met? That would have mean I'm a worm as well. Don't even think it'd take. You could be a gardener, you could be a fishmonger. If you're a worm, would I... I turn into a worm tomorrow.

Yeah, you've got all that long history behind you and yet she's a worm. So I struggle to deal with these types of questions because it's... Hypothetical nonsense. Sorry. Would I still... Yes, I would still love you if you're a worm.

I wouldn't still love you if you became a worm. Although when I was digging a hole at our house today, I did find a very juicy worm. Did you? And I thought, oh, so it was kind of red and throbby. So maybe I wouldn't. Red and throbby. How are you digging a hole?

That's fucking bizarre. Long story. Can we know? I've got time, Dave. I've got structured and dinner around my house. He needs some trial pits digging, so I was digging to trial pit. Okay, fine. That's way less suspicious than to no explanation.

Not glad you asked, boring. No, I'm pleased I asked. Has your wife's work opened up your mind to things? And if so, how do you think it's done that? Yeah, I think it definitely has, yeah. I think with everything that Al is involved in has been through, definitely open my eyes. I was a very sheltered male, single man coming into my life and that's it.

And then your eyes are opened and you just appreciate it. And I think back to Alex's point with kids or kid on the way and all of that sort of stuff it definitely opens your eyes to another world which has been good for me I think it softened me yeah

to give you your credit though from the start you were so good with it like very emotionally I don't know tuned into it and you yeah I don't know why I'm being so nice to you

but you kind of like always knew what to say and say the right thing and be supportive I don't know it's just I don't think people would expect it from you I'm sorry what I mean

have you made me into an absolute What divinaldabe? No, I don't think people would expect it from a man who's never suffered with anything body image, never, ever given a thought, has no experience, no family or friends. You've got no experience. No family or friends.

She's going to need to bring my spade in so she can dig herself out of this whole. Come on. You know what I mean. Oh, I'd know what you mean, yes. I was really pleasant. I didn't think you were going to get it. You did. Okay.

There you go. So nice. You're welcome. I got there. So yes, definitely has. Yeah, and I'd definitely say it's made me more, yeah. Sensitive. Sensitive to everyone's situation, yeah.

Yeah, definitely, my eyes. I think there's so many avenues that you talk about. Obviously, I was aware of sexism as a thing. Like, I knew it existed, but not to the extent of which M's work has opened my eyes to it. But then also, I've never thought. told of the internet as an unsafe place because we all grew up with it. And since the work that Em's been doing

and like, you know, even going through the, you know, we joke about the rabbit holes on TikTok and stuff, but actually how the algorithms can be manipulated, like Em talks about that and that's open my eyes completely and probably terrified me a little bit more about if Orlo goes down one of those, what she's going to find at the end of it. It's not going to be a rabbit hole girlie. Okay.

No, no, no. And are they pretty good for kids, though? No. TikTok particularly, I don't believe, is very good for kids at all. Have they not, I can't remember I read an article about it and saying one of the platforms

has got some really good or brought in some really good child protection stuff. So the online safety bill has meant that they've all had to bring in regulations and more importantly they're accountable for them

because they've always technically had it but there's no one policing it because there's been no legislation particularly in the UK to do it so the companies have had no real incentive to sort of follow through with anything. Now, anything that's illegal offline is illegal online and it means that the police have the power to do it.

Meta, I believe, that's TikTok, so it's Instagram and Facebook will be held to higher accountability. I think because they've been around longer, the transparency is more clear, whereas TikTok is so fast-moving, it's so quick. It's also Chinese-owned and I don't know how long, like, like meta's based kind of I don't know if it's an island

a lot of it like I don't know I just think it's had a lot more transparency on it in recent years whereas TikTok hasn't I don't even know where Snapchat's based but but no I think TikTok's personally I think it's so dangerous like there's someone live streamed to suicide and it took them like four hours or something

to take it down okay wow like that sort of thing I don't think would happen on meta and I just think yeah TikTok's just massive but I interviewed a woman for Sunday times years and years ago and she never got published if she pissed me off because I thought it was really good

and she worked for the government and she was talking about how the YouTube algorithm and I don't know how much has changed since then but how ISIS were using it like seven years ago or whatever to pull kids to radicalise young kids

and I mean like young kids and at their peak they were going I think she said like 10 seven houses a week to tell parents that their kids had literally gone to Syria and the parents had no idea and the way that they used it was literally just monopolising on the algorithm

which exists. And to break it down it's like a young boy likes playing Call of Duty so it's on YouTube looking at Call of Duty videos and then like three videos later they get more and more intense So the way the rabbit holes would work is it's like if you watched a video about like cows

the next one it served you this is definitely the way YouTube works and I suspect TikTok's just got on on that. But the next one it would show you would be like, oh, I'm trying to feel on cows. Maybe she'd like a video on vegetarianism and like, you know, why maybe it'd be good for the environment to kill less cows. And then the next one would be like, okay, well, let's promote veganism. And then the next one would be like, let's show her a slaughterhouse. And then, so it gets like progressive more. And it doesn't matter which one you've got on.

But once you've gone one, it's just going to keep sending you further and down it. So, yeah, it's terrifying. It's terrifying. It's so clever, but so fuck. Yeah. But it's also funny because we're all like, yeah, it's just. sitting on the loose, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aware of it in our subconscious, but actually just enjoying the visual, like, scroll. It's weird, isn't it?

And I guess all of that feeds it as well. Yeah, yeah, you feed it with everything. And killing our attention span at the same time. That scares me as well. On the same thing, what ways have your views on womanhood changed since we, since I got pregnant and since I became a mom? And since you guys have become dads. Well, I applaud you more than I've,

probably did, like, you know, what you have to go through in pregnancy, but what you're doing with very little moaning, head, you know, heads down, bum up, you know, heads down, bum up. Have you never heard that phrase? No, but I, it's kind of just soldier on, all that sort of stuff, but I think, you know, all women who have to, who go through motherhood and pregnancy and all the rest of it, I salute you and, yeah, wouldn't like to. do it myself, that's for sure. It's fucking ride, isn't it? But you say, like, I am quite the opposite of a soldier, but...

No, but you've got no choice. You've just got no choice. It's like, what can I do? Let's go. I can't just take myself to hospital, say, get it out now. Like, I've just got to carry on. Yeah, I guess I didn't realize how, like, when you're seeing it every day, not just pregnancy, but also just being a woman, being pregnant and then having a kid, how difficult

all of those different things. are in their own right, but also how then they kind of build like snowball together to make things increasingly difficult. You know, the idea of being pregnant and then being able to work less and then having a child and not being able to work for a while. And like all these things that just don't happen to us. So it's definitely open my eyes to that. But also, you know, through all the guests that you guys interview and, you know, the kind of red thread of of feminism and talking about sexist things that happen you know like

it doesn't happen when I'm walking with Em but when M's by herself she will still get shouts out and wolf whittled that and she'll only tell me that this has happened and I'll never experience it because she's not going to get shouts out when I'm with her so it's one of those things that I'm not aware of daily but actually when you kind of immerse yourself in it more and listen to it more and become more aware of how it is difficult

yeah but yeah there's lots of things you've been amazing since I become a mum like I was saying to Al before girl out before we start recording about like how hard it's been to work how having Arlo hasn't been the hard thing and how working with Arlo it's been the hard thing

and you've just been so compassionate to that which is not that I didn't expect it but you've you have surpassed my hope and expectation for a partner to have a baby with

oh thank you no worries Oh, that's really nice He's the best dad But it's like he's an amazing dad And I knew he'd been an amazing dad And I don't think I considered What kind of a partner you'd be

Because I didn't really think about that But I only thought about like Are you gonna be a good day Which I always knew you would be But yeah The health support of you've been to me Is like So cool

And it's really depressing To see like How so many women don't have that That's also something that We see You know Sometimes in the comments On Instagram

Like when women comments and say this doesn't have for me or some even like in your metro thing when people send in these dilemmas or the issues they're having with their husbands

or you know and they've got kids with these husbands or boyfriends and you just think how is that why are they being treated like that? Yeah. So the more you merge yourself

with all these things you're like oh my God like this needs to change and therefore we can be the change. Yeah I think there's like on the male side of things there's so much education that isn't there for like men

in terms of, it's not even, well, is it educated, I guess it is, in terms of, you know, how to support, how to be a father, all of that stuff. And I think, again, toxic masculinity and all that sort of stuff that goes around, I think that leaks into some of these issues that you talk about and just men not fronting up and being the person they need to be for, you know, the kid, the mum, all the rest of it. But I guess I'm very privileged in the fact that that's never come across my conscience. It's like, you know, I know the way I'll be and that will be fine.

But yeah, it's scary when you get into that whole side of things. And I think as well, like we watched our mums, and I don't know, like, for the most part, but I think now, like, the economy at the very least, like never before feminism even comes into it. Like, women have to go back to work now. Like, we just have to, even if you, even if they don't want to, like, I've got so many friends who actually would probably rather not work if they didn't, if they didn't have to. and they would rather just be at home with their kids. And they have to go back to work. And I think that's like, I don't know,

it's interesting the adjustment that the men, that many fathers have to make, which is like their reality now being different to what they've seen with their parents because it's like they're holding the women that they're with to their mother's standards, but their mothers didn't necessarily have the same. And that's not the shoot,

like obviously Alex, you've got a single mom who's amazing. And I think that probably gave you a very good perspective. But yeah. Yeah, that's a good point actually. because it is completely different. So, you know, I find it, still find it amazing. And I think some companies have come a long way, some haven't. And it's very difficult for some companies, I get it.

But the fact that men only, which feeds the problem, only get two weeks of paternity. It's mad, is it? It is absolutely nuts. It's so shocking. My brother and all my friends have said, like, minimum three months before, even as a couple and a kid, you're sort of ready to go, right, we've worked it out now.

We can sort of make it work and get through. two weeks is just nuts. It's bonkers. And the fact that men are forced to do that. And obviously there's a bit of work from home now where you can start to manage it, maybe a bit. But it's just absolutely nuts. And I think more has to be done on that

to try and level up paternity to minimum, what, six weeks? Well, this is what Alex, boy Alex had, and this is what you said at the time. And I've read so much about it subsequently, we can't fix the gender pay gap until paternity leave, until men start taking full paternity

and pushing for full paternity. Because even the, Alex and I went back to work at four weeks and he went back to work at six weeks by virtue of being the mum and I guess working for myself but it does fall on you because he had to go back and there's no there's an allowance

there's a certain allowance with a mother that's like oh well she she's got the kid and she's trying to work in it like there's a juggle there but it's like the dad it's like when you go back to the office you've got to be back at the office you've got to leave your family behind you can't but it's like so thick to think that people just haven't worked that out yet

if it was reversed Like if I was the pregnant one with the child and M was the one with two weeks, it would have been completely slipped around and I would have been given probably way more time in that situation because I'd need more support if that makes sense. Because, you know what I mean?

Like if it was flipped around. If the men had the babies. If I had, yes, because it was flipped around. So like right now you have the baby and I then have to go back at work because no one's actually thought about it because they just expect the men to go back to work. But if it was the other way around, there would probably be more consideration.

Because they just assume that men go back to work and they're the ones who earn the money and they're the ones who leave the home to go to work. But actually, if we thought about it on the flip side and changed it all. Because it's like, oh, it's seen as like, well, the men just aren't needed at home. Yeah, they're the fine, they're the ones that go out and bring home the bacon. Yeah, it's like such an archaic view of the balance. But it's so unfair on dads. And they miss so much. I mean, it is unfair on women. Like, and I have to, I, I haven't even beaten that drum that much

because I'm so aware of, like, my own privilege online and, like, my, the own privilege of my own job. And, like, the fact that I do have Alex and we now finally have childcare. And, like, so I don't want to be like, it's hard. But it, like, it is. But it's actually, the saddest part of it is, the system is so rigged. And actually, there isn't really a winner on it. Like, well, and I think families, young families suffer

because you don't get to spend that, that time and enjoy it because you're immediately going you're in those first two weeks which I know are not nice and comfortable and you have to get used to a lot of different things and then two weeks comes and it's like we might have a week's holiday but you've got to go back and yeah I mean there are some great companies who are doing like six months maybe even a year now that would be amazing but and obviously not every company can afford to do that because they're smaller all the rest of it I get that but there has to be something that comes in where it becomes you know four weeks would be better than two

You've had six weeks. I had six weeks, yeah. It is mental. It's like, yeah, it's weird. Because even if you go back to working from home, it's still, you're still working, aren't you? Yeah, you still got like calls and you're still expected to do the work so you can't necessarily be around. You can, you know, you can take a bit of time, but it's not, you're not there there. I would have really struggled if you'd gone back.

I mean, I would, I, if Alex had gone back into the office, I would not have been able to work. There's no way that I could have worked and look after Arles. And what I don't understand is how, how, how. any companies expect the men to go back to work after two weeks and they're focused to be on work. Yeah. Like, if I was going back to work after two years, I'd be immediately thinking about, well, is Al OK, is the baby?

You know, I wouldn't be focused on. I wouldn't give two, quite frankly, two shits about it. Yeah. I want to be spending that time with the family. Yeah, I will say, like, yeah, I had a cesare. And, yeah, I said, did I? So, yeah, I did. But you can't lift it.

Yeah, yeah. You can't lift anything. You can't do. But you couldn't lift Arlo for a while, isn't it? No. It's just six to eight weeks until you there or thereabouts. Yeah. I couldn't lift the buggy up for like, you know, to put it in the car

which strands you. Yeah. Like no wonder mental health so bad. It's just like... Brutal. It's brutal. You would have to put, if Alex was going into work, he'd have to put the buggy in the car for me before we went to work.

And it's like, well, I hope I don't need to get it back in the myself. Yeah. It's such a fucker. It's mad. Yeah. It's mad. But you're going to have a great time. I can't wait.

I'm excited. You mean, you work, because the thing, you will have a great time because you're aware of all of this. Yeah. Let's finish off on a quick-fire question that we talked about the other day, right? Not another worm question, is it? If I were a lobster? If pregnancy was a completely non-gendered thing, right? There was no judgment either way. There was no pressure, no expectation either way. It would just be down to which one in the relationship felt like they were going to be the one that did it.

Which one would it be? I think we both know the answer to this. it would be me are you kidding okay you think you'd have done it better than me no it's all right

not better my HG pregnancy my miraculous birth not better but if we got to choose if we got to choose who would who would want to do it

I'd want to do it I'd want to do it well that's a very different issue who would do it better was the question better no no no who would do it exactly who would choose to do it yeah yeah it's like

it's like taking the bins out yeah who's gonna do it I'll do it I don't try and compare them. Would you want to do it? I would love to do it. Why does it? I like to sense that all the time.

If his nipples worked, he would be all over that shit. I have been privileged as a man growing up not to have any body confidence issues or anything. And then also like exercising and like being fit and like challenges. So in my head, it would be a really interesting challenge to have a baby. And then to have to work to get back my body. Interesting. You would also like the bond with your child. I would love the bond.

Also, the breastfeeding. thing. I think it's fascinating. I'd love to be able to breastfeed. Yeah. Would you like to be able to breastfeed, Dave? I think let's deal with the first part and then we'll get into breastfeeding. It would be you that had the baby, definitely. Yeah, I suppose we'd take that. On a really interesting mental image. Hang up. Is that just because you would say I'm slightly more rational and straightforward? All of it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean. Mentally more resilient. I would do, yeah, I would do anything, really, to make it work. So if I had to get out the duff,

no, you can't say that anymore. I've got a full visual, legs of stirrups. I'd be on all falls. Yeah, fair enough. Bomb in the air. Head down, bum up. Saying that, I've always said that if it were the man to have the child, yeah, vaginal breath wouldn't be a thing.

I mean, if men had vaginas, right? Vaginal breath would not be a thing because it is much more efficient to have a C-section. And so there would be less strain on the hospital services. Alex has a theory that they'd all. all have caesarians, they'd all have like a year off. If men gave birth to run through that theory earlier,

they'd all have a year off work, they'd all have planned C-sections you'd stay in hospital for two weeks. You'd have an appointed child carer immediately. But if you look at, I get Alex's point, because if you look at society over the years, it's always, it's heavily lent on or favoured the male part of society.

So they would have put in place so much more. Exactly, yeah, that's what, yeah, yeah. Without a question, if it had been the other way around. Yeah, yeah. But funny enough, they haven't supported families on the males It's a real, it's a paradox Yeah, I wouldn't be happy if you took pregnancy away from me

Despite having both be pregnant at the same time No, we don't want more than, no, that's not good Just stop, let it be my thing You can have this one Go to CrossFit I feel like I'll trigger you Yeah, because I don't want This is actually really like deep

But it is a big fear of mine that Alex could do it better or like could do it better without me. I do get the sense it's very competitive both of them. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's what I was saying before about feeling like a bad mom sometimes and like or worrying that I'm not a good parent and I, and my whole relationship

with Alex has been a decade and everyone has told me that I'm so lucky and I'm like, I know. And I feel like people are going to say to all you've got such a good dad and you've got such a good dad

and I just hope at some point someone will be like you've got good mom too. Oh, they already do. She's got such a good mom. I know, but if he had the baby as well I'd be like,

Oh, I'll just go. They don't need me. They don't need me. Nah. Like, they need the milk right now. They've got this. Yeah, without that, I'm nothing. So don't take away that from me, please.

No, you are a brilliant. I feel quite resigned to the fact that you will be a much better dad than I will be a mom. Again, you don't give yourself enough credit. I agree. Children hate me. We know this. No, no, no. Olo likes me, actually.

Al gets desperate in these situations. I agree. You come on too strong. You come on too strong. She's always looking for validation. And kids have got brains that. literally they smell it and their brains are going

100 miles now, all different things and then just not interested in you when you really go come on and love me, love me I said this for years that I behaved like a cat around kids and they fucking love me

not with my own kid I need to stress but with other kids I'm like I could take or leave you and they're like kissing at them occasional spray it's amazing the images that I'll leave from this session

this session yeah M and Alex is a worm It's probably the main one Yeah, me giving birth Alex, well Alex giving birth Not vagina Have you talked about that

I will know I love milk Milky nips Well this has been brilliant Thank you so much guys Well thanks for having us You're not gone yet We've got a part two coming

You know this You know this Thursday episode Happy Christmas everyone As a gift As a Christmas gift Yes The boys are staying

And this Thursday We have a special Is it just me Or we're going to play Mr and Mrs Oh God I'm scared. Oh my God.

Did you know about this? No, I didn't know. They're boxed in. So, guys, we love you loads. Thank you so much. Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye.

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