Should I Delete That? - The Story of The One Armed Wonder

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

This week on the podcast, Em and Alex are joined by Dan Richards AKA The One Armed Wonder. Em met Dan back in 2016 during a cycling event for Help For Heroes. Em was so moved by his story that she asked him to come onto the podcast to share it. Dan was in a motorcycle accident which flipped his world upside down. He was kicked out of the armed forces, couldn't get a job and ended up living at his parents with only 15p to his name. Dan shares how, through determination and self belief, he changed his life and became the man he is today.If you are affected by any of the topics discussed in today's episode, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123.Follow Dan on Instagram @theonearmedwonderFollow us on Instagram @shouldideletethatEmail us at [e-mail] by Daisy GrantMusic by Alex Andrew Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just jumping in with a trigger warning ahead of this episode, we do mention suicide in it. So if you'd rather not listen, we completely understand. But if you are affected by any of the things we talk about in today's episode, please head down to the show notes for a number for the Samaritans. Success to me isn't winning. It's not getting the medal. If you can hold you out and say, yeah, I did my absolute fucking best here. than that's success because what you learn about yourself in any process outweighs any result Hello and welcome back to Should I Delete That?

I'm in Clarkson and today the Matrix is glitching because our sound person is making the sounds. Hi, Daisy. Hello. That was the biggest darn joke I've ever. The sound person's making the sounds. Daisy Grant. That's me. I'm doing it all, baby. Behind the scenes and on the stage all at once. Write the theme tune, sing the theme. Yeah, literally. How you doing, Dave?

I'm doing very well. It's really sunny here today in Wales, which is surprising because it's been miserable for about seven months. So that's nice. How are you doing? I'm really good. I'm just home from Japan. We got back last night. for listeners worried that girl Alex is still not here she's also sliving I'm just I'm just holding I say I there's no eye in team

we are holding down the fort yeah thank you I say we I mean Daisy Daisy is holding down the fort I'm loving it are you yeah it's good it's fun you hear about girl Alex

we're loving it brutal no we love you come back you do come back you know do come back so have you got anything i can't believe i don't think you've done a gva before never never makes me very sad two years then to tell me my only contribution to my with my voice to the podcast has been i'm gonna get a big tie i think i'm gonna get a big tie i did think that was like if that's not her good she's not had a big tie this week oh i haven't there's no tie restaurant near me nothing that'll be the sad that's your bad that's why i didn't get a big tie um i think

my good this week is simply that me and daisy and spinach are all back together in Wales again which is really cozy because we've been off doing separate things and I think it's the first time after Christmas that we've all just been settled down together and it's just comfortable and nice and we're having a really good time

and so life is just good you know listener context Daisy's not talking about herself and her other personality Daisy's fiance is also called Daisy so the gang's back together and my dog Beddington Whippet Spinnage yeah so Daisy

my fiance and I are just having a lovely time and life is good and that's my good at the moment what's yours good my good is that I'm back I have the best time I know big fat yes I have never it's so bizarre actually I've never wanted to come home from anywhere more in my life which makes it sound like I had a bad time which I didn't I had an amazing time like it was so cool we had two whole weeks of like adventure and it was I'm so proud of myself that we did it and And, like, it was epic to see somewhere so far away. I didn't imagine I'll ever do a trip like that again. Definitely not with, like, a baby.

Like, it was just a mad adventure. But by, like, day 11, I was like, oh, my God, we could go home to now. Like, I would not be mad. We were just so tired. And I don't know, the food's amazing, but it's so different to what you're used to. And after a while, you're just like, oh, my God, I'm just crowving, like, ease again and so yeah I just we started really looking forward to coming home and now I'm back and I'm just so happy like I'm back on the same time zones as my friends I'm back working again

back with you um because that was hard trying to do the WhatsApps and stuff and like do stuff when I'm nine hours ahead I felt so bad I was like I need an answer of this but I'm so sorry because I know you're literally in the airport this is the worst I'm the worst I'm sorry no no not at all um my fault for leaving but um yeah just so happy to be back and like back into my routine and like i'm going to start my marathon training and i'm back in my own bed and i've got a high chair again and a car again and like oh my god clean clothes out of the drawer rather than like the least dirty thing out of the suitcase like it's just so good there's so many layers of like holiday that's always so good but it does get to a point any holiday i think where it can be too

long and like the fact that you did that all with a baby fucking well done you guys like that's so cool yeah i'm going i'm literally i'm finishing this and i'm going to soft play because i just want to put her in a padded room where she can't hurt herself and she doesn't need to be held by me because i what she's not been down like in lots of ways japan is quite baby friendly and in lots of ways it's sort of not and it was interesting but i think we actually have not not not been holding her this whole time like not there was nowhere to put she's at an age just started walking where it's like chaos. She's probably desperate to be put in that soft blaze.

She's like, get off me. A hundred percent. She's like, give me space, man. Yeah, let me fly. Yeah. Stop clipping my wings. Yeah. I can walk now.

I'm a grown up. Yeah. I'm out of here. She's actually regressed on the walking front. She was nailing it. And then obviously she's been carried for two weeks. And then I put her down this morning on her mat. And she was just like, she's like, I forgot.

Yeah. So, anyway, that's good. I'm home. I'm so happy. Anything bad. please my lady it's it's kind of like a half bad half good today as we record it's Friday which means it's the traitors final tonight which I'm so excited for but so devastated that it's the end of because I've been watching so intensely have you loved it I haven't watched it

absolutely loved it we just have to watch it intensely because Daisy and I have a podcast about it so I take this job very seriously of watching the trainers so I'm quite sad that it's coming to an end basically. Wow. That's my bad. I, yeah, I can't believe it was already over, but I also feel like it's one of those internet phenomenon that I've been left out of because everybody's mad on it and I, you miss the beginning and then you're like, well, you've been away. Yeah, so never mind guys go on without me. So I've just missed this season. But I have seen Claudia Winkleman. Did you see the jumper that she was wearing? There's a jumper that she was wearing that everyone's, everyone's gone mad for it. And my toxic trait is that I thought I could knit it. So I found the company that

makes it and you can buy the pattern for it so that you can knit it, I'll send it to you because I'm totally thinking I should do it. I reckon you could. You're a good knitter, aren't you? I've been told by you, so I assume you are. So all evidence points to yes, yes, she's a good knitter. You said you're good at it. I can knit a scarf. I can knit straight lines. Well, I'm nervous by his neckline sleeves and sewing, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I also have no time. I am time poor. I never have a free hand. I don't have time to knit. If you get any moment that's free, though, to do it, to use it knitting, it's just so, you feel so good about yourself. I know, I know, I know. And better than everyone. Better than everyone else, because I could be sitting on my phone scrolling TikTok while watching TV, or I could be knitting while watching TV. Exactly. That is a good ADHD choice in my opinion. I know. I'm just like, I feel you, girl. I feel you. It's a bit of us. So let me, let me try. You should do it. What was, what's your bad? My bad is the 14 hour flight with a baby. It was just very bad. That's long.

now. Yes. Yes. And the night flight was one thing. The day flight, a whole different kettle of fish. We were just awake and needing her not to cry because everybody already hates you. And that should be my awkward actually. When you walk onto a plane holding a baby, honestly, it's like you could have done a shit in your own hand and carried it down the aisle for the way the people look at you. Like, it's a kind of like angry disappointment. As a chronic people pleaser, that is a devastating look to be on the receiving end of. Yeah, totally. It's really unfair.

I feel so bad. Particularly because she crushed it. She barely cried. Like, the guy next me was, yeah, he was snoring louder than what she was crying, can I just say. I swear so many grown men would be a million times worse than a baby, surely. Yeah. I'd rather sit next to a lady than him. Like, we took his shoes off immediately.

No. No. And then at one point he lifted this t-shirt. up and he scratched his belly with both his hands I don't know why he had to get both of it was like a big bear like that's such a weird thing to do why would you just go under the shirt and have a little it

I know I don't know he like fully lifted it up and went I don't like it I don't like this man I wouldn't like being next to him that's horrible no no and actually just to continue my attack on this man's personality. Yeah, give me. When we got off the flight,

he'd obviously been skiing and in Japan, because you can ski in Japan, and he pushed in front of me with my baby and another man holding a baby and to get into the lift with his big skis. I hate him.

So the babies couldn't go in the lift and I just thought, huh. I hope he tripped. I hope he tripped on his way home or got stuck in traffic on the particular route that he went on. I hope he felt that. I hope he paid.

You know, what? The best thing the Katty ever did, I'm sure I told the story or the podcast, but I remember when I was like eight months pregnant and I was trying to get home from Leicester Square. And I was so tired and just so enormous and it was so cold. And this old fuck

pushed him, like I was waiting, I called my cab, had my arm out, and he pushed in front of me. I did tell this story. And he stole my cab. And as, and he put his date in the cab. And as, as the date went away, Katty just looked to him and goes, and he was really old. Just like, I hate you trip and break off your arms.

I hate to break both your arms What a good sis You need her Yeah exactly Depending on my honour Did you have an awkward Is mostly that I walked onto the flight But also just a second awkward

I also got lymphatic drainage this morning Which was definitely a good I was so turgid After like just eating loads of salt Not drinking loads of water And then the flight home And so I had lymphatic drainage Which was like so amazing

Loved it But at one point the lady went Do you mind if I rub your breath I said No That one You've really got some stuff in there We've got to get that out

That breast in particular So she just peeled back the towel And took I'm going to say my boob in one hand But it's enormous So probably both hands And just rubbed it And I was like

Oh my God, did it feel Satisfying? Or uncomfortable Define satisfying I don't know Maybe you just felt satisfied after no that sounds really wrong I didn't mean it like that

I just meant from the general lymphatic drainage what I don't really understand what it is are you just is things just moved on your they just rub you and it's mad and I wouldn't have believed in it except I did it once after I had a baby because I read about the benefits of like it after a cesarian so I did it

and it was so amazing and then I went my friend does facials my sister works at a facialist she's a receptionist at the facialist and so then I was learning a lot about lymphatic drainage of the face so I basically got like fully swayed into like the lymphatic drainage thing and today I was like you know what this is when I need

it like I'm so like after a liquid for sure yeah my fingers are swall like my ankles are swollen you know and like I just felt really swall yeah and she basically just they just rub you yeah in the direction of your lymph lymph nodes so like to your elbows sorry to your elbows to your underarms yeah to the bottom of your tummy like just full massage basically and then you just have to drink loads of loads of water and it drains you and honestly the difference I feel she did one of my legs and then made me lift it up and then made me lift up the leg that she hadn't done and it was literally like the one she hadn't done

was full of lead. Really? Yeah, it was amazing. Oh, I just want to do that. That sounds really fun. Yeah, it was really good. Yes, you should. And just be prepared that someone might ask you if you'd like your breasts to be rubbed.

And also go for it, lady. Give it a red hot go. I don't mind. You get it, girl. You get it, girl. You get in there. What about you, my friend? Anything awkward before we get into the interview? Oh my God, it's really boring,

but basically I just don't know how my oven works. And I think it's just really awkward. I cried when Daisy got home the other day from London because I made it, I spent, I slaved over an aubergine parmesan. And I was feeling so proud of it. And then we got back home and it was burnt to shit. And I just took it out the oven and immediately burst into tears.

And Daisy was like, don't worry, darling. I'll still eat it. And it was like black on top. And I was like, this is the worst thing ever. And so I'm just embarrassed. I should be old enough to know how my fucking oven works, but I don't. I love that. Own it.

Thanks, babe. Yeah, it's bad. It just, it made me upset. That's big Alex energy that. I know, I'm actually quite a good cook, so I was quite sad. This is what is upsetting me. I'm like, it's ruining my food. The oven, it's not me.

Yeah, you see a different, aubergine parmesan. I did. I did. I tell you I did. So I'm quite dem over about that. Anyway, awkward, embarrassing. but also, fuck my oven. So who have we got that on the podcast today, M Clarkson? As if you wouldn't know, as if you didn't spend hours editing it already. It's true.

But I like it. I'll play along. So today on the podcast, we have my friend, Dan Richards, who came to tell his story, which I'm so grateful for. So I first met Dan in 2016. He was one of the band of brothers, one of the wounded guys on a bike ride that my mum and I were doing for help for heroes. So it was one of the big battlefield bike rides. And I hadn't met Dan before. And he got up and did a speech on the third or fourth day about his story, about his accident. He was in a motorcycle crash, which resulted in him losing not just his arm, but his entire shoulder as well. also had this completely life-changing injury and lost his job as a result, and he spoke so openly about not only his accident, but about the mental health implications of an accident like

that. And it was so moving. And we became friends literally from that day on. We just loved him. He came and cycled with us for the rest of the trip, and he's been in my life ever since. It's been eight years. And I'm really, really grateful that he came to speak. to us. He's had such an interesting career since then. He went on a show called Naked Beach, which I always thought was the bravest thing in the whole wide world. That's so iconic. Isn't it? And his journey to confidence and body confidence has just been really remarkable to watch. So I was really excited that he came to speak to us and actually just told us his own story. He basically gave the speech that he did that I heard all those years ago. So he's just here to tell his story, really.

and I hope you love him as much as we do. Hello, Dan. I'm so excited that you came to speak to us for context. Dan and I have been friends for seven years. Seven? Yeah. Is it? 2016, yeah.

Wow. So, yeah, we met in 2016, and that was on one of the Helps of Hero's bike rides, which we were cycling, where were we going? It was northern front. It was a battlefield bike ride, so it was Belgium to Verdun. It was a long way.

was it your first time doing an event like that? So I I mean this is part of my introduction to cycling but like that ride so I got a spot as an ambassador or they called them the band of brothers back then for help for heroes with help for heroes

and the band of brothers was just the community of wounded using six so it doesn't matter if you were a woman male or female you were kind of a band of brother anyway and the relatives was the band of sisters and you could be a husband and did her land of sisters. Got it, got it.

So it wasn't gender-specific. We met on that, we met a couple of days in, which was at some point in Belgium, I met Dan, because like you say, there are hundreds of people on the ride, and you got up and you told your story, and it was so amazing. And you came and sat with us for lunch after that, and like we've been friends since,

which I'm very, very grateful for. That was how I learned so much about you because obviously you told your story so eloquently. So it would be amazing for everybody listening if you could kind of tell us your story, how you came to be involved with help for heroes, your accident and yeah, everything that led you

to do that bike ride in the first place. Yeah, sure, well, pull up a sandbag and I'll tell you a story. So I was brought up in a military kind of family, really. Like my biological father who I have no relationship with and it's, I think it's a mutual kind of thing. He left when I was four,

I was born in Ascot, we moved to Germany and that's where him and mum got divorced and we moved back to the UK we then moved to Swindon where I pretty much grew up there from about nine to 17

but mum had a boyfriend who was an absolute yeah do you know what he was a it was a shitbag he's a very strict man and I'm the oldest of three I used to beating up

like a man like hit round the head and stuff and my sister was abused Um, mom had no idea what was going on until the day she found out. Um, and I just remember waking up one morning and it's gone. And it was the first time in growing up where I've felt safe in a, in a house like between after mum getting divorced to dad and then this guy leaving. So it was, it was, uh, it was, it was, it was a, it was a, it was a strange upbringing. But mom did so good with us. We lived on a council estate and stuff.

But as kids, we'd never know how, like, if mum was in, like, financial trouble or anything, because she completely kept her waving. We had a really good upbringing all bar four years with an absolute prick of a bloke in the house. And then mum met my, for all intents of purposes, my stepdad, but he's my dad. So his surname is my surname and whatnot. So for ease of conversation, for the rest of today, he's my dad. mom met my dad in Tidworth he was in the army and every day I was watching go out to work in his uniform I'd see him with his friends and stuff and all of that all come around the house

and that whole kind of obviously at such a young age you don't know what that is but I was like that's what I want I was eight years old give or take when I said to mum and dad I was like when I'm old enough I want to be like dad that's what I want to do and I guess at such a young age to have that kind of direction and sense of purpose if you like like I knew who I wanted to be I knew what I needed to do to get there so all through school I knew

I didn't do well at school anyway but I didn't like school to be honest but all through school whilst friends are choosing what Jesus used to do to get into what college or university I was like I'm not interested in any further education I just want to finish school

start basic training and yeah I left home for the first time at 17 for anything longer than a weekend to go and join the army and that's kind of when I I sought independence stuff and like as you know leaving home kind of being opened to an environment that I wanted for so many years for me I was living the dream and and so yeah I went, I did basic training, left basic training. My training was in Perbry in Surrey, and then it was during those first three months that I got told about a regiment called the Kings Troop.

So I was sold the dream of riding horses and riding on parades and all of this, which kind of went against what I joined the army for. And one thing my dad always told me when I was growing up and I was joining the army, is if this is what you do, this is what you want to do, make sure you get a trade. And so all these trades rolled off from the Kingsroop and then Farrier was one. So Farrier's a blacksmith. They make the shoes for the horses and stuff.

But there's so many different facets of that as well. So with that in mind, knowing that the Kingshoop is a non-deployable unit, it's predominantly a ceremonial regiment. I was like, well, before I tie myself down with that, there are things that I want to do. I want to do operational tours. I want to do adventurous trade. I want some life experience.

And I want some world experience. So I went off to Afghanistan in 2007. I came back, trekked through Nepal and Himalayas and then when we got back from that and this was the end of 2008 now I had made it clear that I was only in the King's Suite to become a farrier and if that wasn't a possibility then I want to be transferred out

so it was agreed that after a parade and it was the Queen's birthday parade or trooping the colour that I could start making progress towards getting into the forge I did one full dress review of Trooping the Colour which is the 30th of May 2009 and I managed to get my dad and my grandma the last two tickets to come and sit in the stands and watch it

as my family had never seen me on parade in that capacity before and the following day I handed over the guard room I went out on my motorbike riding back to my barracks and I don't know I don't know what happened, how it happened

I didn't even have flashbacks I woke up sort of three days later in the Royal London at Whitechapel via helicopter and arm and shoulder lighter amongst some other injuries and I had a collision with the central reservation on the A-41 Henden Way shoulder first which ripped my arm and shoulder off on site I'd lacerated my internal jugular,

there's two broken ankles and then this arm was smashed to pieces as well and there's a picture of me on my phone somewhere of me in hospital a day or so after I've been woken up with my arm suspended in a blue foam cast with like external fixators in it cast up my legs with a beaming smile on my face yeah

as you do but like the thing is the thing is when they woke me up and I don't remember much but I do remember being woken up hospital and they were like Mr Richards you know you've I thought I was back in my barracks

in back of my room in my barracks when I woke up and then sort of as I sort of began to piece together I mean the first thing that hit me I never forgotten it is like the peppery anesthetics taste in the back of your throat from the anaesthetic. I've been in operations before and like it was a familiar in, so kind of something bad to happen here.

I don't know what. And as you kind of begin to get your senses, the mask lifted up, my dad stood over me, which I was always thought was strange at the time because in my room in the barracks and bearing in mind that room was tiny, but it was mine. You have to share it with anyone. My bed was right next to the wall where the window was. so I get how Dad was stood here but I was like how he stood there

like I used to between the wall and my bed and that was it and obviously I'm going to see the beds for the ward and it was an ICU unit and then obviously the doctor came marching in with his assistant and that's when I got giving the good news really it was just like

good news and you've been in a horrific motorcycle accident you're very lucky to be alive and you've got two broken ankles the left one needed pins to reset it your left arm was broken I think when they got to me in the road my hand was cupping my elbow so it's bent right back on it on itself I've got a picture of the x-ray as well as I plates up and down the radius in the ulna and I hit the barrier that hard

that I was in full levers I bust the jacket open but the zip was still done up I've got my helmet at home from that day and it's a nice sort of reminder of how things can change in a blink of an eye but and the doctor walked round from my left arm round about my bed came up the right hand side and so watching him and then the next words that come out with like unfortunately but then like any sentence that starts unfortunately really is not going to have a good outcome is it so so unfortunately after six and a half hours of surgery we were unable to save your right arm and you think oh okay and shoulder And I remember looking over, and like, when this one was a pillow,

I had a little black piece of material staple. I didn't have enough skin to cover the hole. When the doctor had said that, I got a bit upset because that's like a massive shock statistic. I was 23 at the time as well. And I got a bit upset. And obviously, being that age as well, vanity is a massive part of your life.

And it's like, who's going to want me now, basically? Like, you know, I'm going to be just a broken, kind of disregarded thing for the rest of my life. flight and I got a bit upset and then I remember looking around there there were people from the regiment their mom and dad were their friends were there and they were obviously a bit upset I've had this massive shock to the system and then the nurse was there and I went verbatim I went I said is the plumbing still attached and working you're all that's fine you got kaffir's hanging out of it I went do you know what nothing else matters and does it I said there are people worse off than me

looking back on that moment do you know what I guess is the moment I accepted my situation I was like I'm going to be a man one arm for the rest of my life it's never going to grow back I'll probably never get it back so let's just get on with it

and it was in hospital where I set my first goal they wheeled me into the toilet after having an enema and it was like when I've never felt more vulnerable in my life after having one of those but

Um, um, they wheeled me in and they said, when you're finished, pull the orange cord and someone will come and tidy you up. And I was just like, had a word, like, a bit of a quiet word of myself in the toilet. I said, if I've not, if, if I, if I can't wipe my own ass and I've got the capacity to be able to do so. This hand was in a cast at the time. I need to have a word with myself. And that was when I went, I need my independence back. But there are so many different chapters, if you like, to what independence is. It's not just feeding yourself tying your shoelaces and writing. It's so getting dressed, writing, everything, so many things.

Even now, 14 years down, you know, deep, I still go, oh, how am I going to do that? I didn't know at the time how fundamental, how fundamentally life-changing goal-setting would become, but that was what it was. And I spent two months in the hospital before I went to Headley Court. Hedley Court was the Defence Medical Rehabilitation Centre where everyone within the military goes, whether you've broken a finger or you've lost arms or legs and all legs. And that's really when I got exposed to other people in similar situations, living with limb loss and I think I used them as inspiration. And my first prostateic harm I ever wore was a purely cosmetic.

It was just a shirt filler, elaborate one of that. and all it did was hanged there and it's kind of, it gave me a little bit of a glimpse into what it would be like to live with a paralysed arm. The amount of accommodation I had to do with just getting,

putting a T-shirt on with this prosthetic arm, I was like, you know, I'm glad it's gone because I'd have it off anyway. You know, it's surplus of requirement, essentially. And so return back to the regiment,

relearns to ride a horse again because I was quite adamant that. I'm going to go back to the unit. And I'm not going to let really one bad day kind of dictate and ruin what I've spent, well, essentially my life kind of wanting to do. I was just not saying one bad day. It's a very bad day. It's a very bad day. I really let's ride a horse.

I took up an opportunity to go rock climbing in Spain. And it was on the rock face. And I think this is like two years in now, like post-injury. I remember on the rock face, I became the lead climber of that. 10 day expedition and I went you know what if I can adjust to this way of life like I have I've got nothing to worry about like how wrong was I but shortly after that experience and whatnot I then I was three years in and that's when I had a medical board I had a medical board every year and every year that I had them this was the third one that the previous two

I'd been like now I'm going to stay in and I met all of the the criteria that they set for me to achieve. To stay in the Army. To stay in the Army. Obviously at the time as well, and this is 20, well, 2009 was the accident, 2012 was the last one, but in those years, I had to meet criteria, you know, to show that willing. And I was very much of the opinion, like, look, I'm coming back to the Army, I don't want to be just someone that sits in the corner and collects dust like a useless, all

tournament, if you like. I want to earn my spot back here. I can't do press ups. I can't do pull-ups. Well, I can run. And so I did it. I did it. With the metal plates and your ankles as well. But this wasn't, it was, it was, I had the bolts out at this point. So I went in for this medical board and that's when they said, like literally, you're no longer insured to do anything military ever again, including making cups of tea for anyone other than yourself. I was in Frimley Park the following day, had my ankle fused, so I can't run. And a day after that, I was in Tebowth House, Tebowth House is a Help for Heroes Recovery Centre. And leaving the military under medical discharge terms is a six-month process.

Right. I was wheelchair-bound at the time, non-weight bearing for my ankle fusion. So I couldn't really get involved on the resettlement process. Like the buildings were inaccessible. So I just involved myself in whatever I could do. And it was things like, what can I debunk my CV up? Because bearing in mind, I'd spent the last sort of nine and a half, ten years only in interested in things that got me into the forge, I was not as tunnel vision. And so I spent six months at Tedworth House. And my last day in the military was the 28th of September 2012.

And that was literally my last paid day as a soldier in the military. And I went back home. And I was a little bit excited about the unknown. But at the same time, I was thinking, what am I going to do with my life? And I had quite a bit of money saved up as well. I had a bit of money sort of saved up. And I had given myself a month off. I got bored after two weeks. And that's when I started to look for work. And it's like marrying up your experiences. And you think, well, the job I did in Afghanistan and the job I did in the UK and all the

I've got so managerial experience. What I started doing for that? There's an eight month kind of process, if you like, of which became 327 job applications. Of which not one, let's it anything sub-basic. I think I had about five reports. of you haven't got the skills experiences require. But during that time

and before I got to my next decision, I kind of swallowed my pride and thought, well, I go bottom of the ladder, entry level roles, nothing. In the end of it, running parallel all this as well, I'm living on my savings. My mum and my mum and stepdad and I remember I had to, it was the end of this eight months,

it was August 2013 about. And I had to go and re-tax and insure my car, which I always used to do annually I went to pay for it and my car declined and I thought that strange did it get and declined looked at my online banking

I had 15 pence to my name everything had gone that was all running parallel with all of this trying to find a foothold in society and one morning mum and my stepdad had gone out to work and I got out of the shower

and this was a snap decision I'd never thought about doing anything like this before and I saw a reflection in the mirror and I was you know I was overweight I was unkept no colour nothing like the person that you know like a costume you just been hung up on the back of a door for years and forgotten about and I went if this is what life's got installed for me after everything I've been through I'd really rather not be part of it and I went and got I got a dressing gown belt

and I tied one around the headboard one around my neck and I sat on the floor and I measured it out enough so that my bum wouldn't touch the floor so it was done and I got halfway through ending it and I was like what's mum going to say when she finds me and it was weird and I untied it I got up I need to get back to London and that was the next goal and I need to get back to London how the fuck am I got with 15p how am I going to do this and in the twist of fate I was offered a job as a chauffeur with a startup company called Capstar all of the workforce was military

the veteran community with the percentage being wounded injured and sick and wounded injured and sick is a large kind of group if you like of it's not just physical injuries it's invisible as well things you can't see it's a PTSD and they offered me a job on a spot

very in the mind I met the founder and the director of operations at the time and I mean I was long air mass beards a bit overweight, not that mattered, but cargo shorts, a pair of Manky Timberland boots. Like, really, and I'm going to be driving, exposed to, like, London's elite, essentially, business owners of, like, Futsi, 500 companies, and at some points, like, celebrity to different awards ceremonies and stuff, and a royalty at one point.

And I moved out of, I moved from Somerset, and I lived in a caravan from 2014, well, all of 2014 through 15 in this caravan in a little village called Raysbury it's just outside Windsor and I remember it this the only luxury of this car of this static home that I had was that I could flush the toilets and run the taps that was it it leaked it had holes in it I'd go to bed at night in my old army sleeping bag and my duvet pulled over me because I couldn't afford the gas canisters for the heating some days I'd have like an asda an asda has a home shopping van would turn up but that was because somebody had come to see me and worked out my situation because in amongst those there were days there were weeks sorry where i couldn't

afford to go shopping and fill my cupboards up so i would live on custard cream biscuits and cups of tea but like i turn up to work for the clients macularly turned out shirts were always ironed suit was never creased shoes are always shiny and the people I was driving and I was exposed to and I was exposed to affluence of a level I'd never seen before and success and so on and one day I went I had a bit of an epiphany and I just went what are these people doing when no one else is looking because if it's working for them why can't it work for me and it weren't about becoming you know massively successful hideously rich beyond my wildest rooms overnight at all but I just figured I just figured what they're doing when there's no

external validation and I'm in the perfect place to find out because I was spending more time with these people in back of my car then they're probably spending with their families and so I began to cherry pick kind of personality attributes from from these people and for ease of conversation it was a value of time the things that I could do you know before I start the day to make my day less impacted if you like without anything sit on my mind and you know some days I go and pick clients up at like five in the morning I have to be at their house of five in the morning so I get up like two hours early and I go for a walk around raspberry and it's just

to walk about to the car is I was it was and this is just one example but it was always quite surprising and nice how clear my mind was how more awake I was and how ready for the day and it's just through doing that and like this habit that I begin to form I just spent any opportunity I get from now on I don't care what it is and I've written myself off from so much in the past I'm just going to say yes I don't care what it is

because I got a bit of a it's not my saying I've picked up from somewhere there's nothing more expensive than a missed opportunity and so with that in mind 2014 I was taken away by by an organisation called Depth Therapy who took me away to Egypt where I learned to

in the run-up to Egypt I learned to and then qualified as an open water scuba live with Paddy I've got qualified got the licence for it which I've never used since I don't know anyone

that actually uses those apart from my professionals obviously open and then I got back from there I gave wing walking a go yeah which is wind walking

yeah so you know like biplanes walking on the wing of the plane wing I said wind. Oh, wind's walking. Just jump up and down in the wind and see how fire you can go. Wow.

I don't mind the wind. She gets really annoyed by it. It is cycling context. It's annoying, yeah. Headwinds, yeah. Gave that go. But it was doing certainly those two things. And I'm sure there were others,

which I can't remember. I was beginning to find this sense of adventure. And it's like I was getting a glimpse into the old, the old Dan Richards, but with a bit of an improvement. And then I took up the opportunity to go through a selection process to become part of the world's first all disabled crew

to row unsupported across the Atlantic Ocean. I knew nothing about rowing. And you can imagine the jokes I got. You look at most rows, I've got two arms, isn't they? And so I got a lot of jokes, you know, oh, you can go around the circles and all that stuff. But there were a lot of naysayers as well. A lot of naysayers, you know,

what you're doing that for? What's the point? never going to get it um and you know what yeah i didn't get it you know i went i went through the selection process and i watched over that time as people kind of either removed themselves or they they they they weren't i wouldn't say not good enough that's that's the wrong word but a lot of it was self-removal um all the all the selection process kind of like look it's not going to go any further than this and i got to the final five i think there were 30 of us all together got to the final five and I did my final selection which was a 24 hour row on the indoor rowers with three of

the selected four crew and so I was a little bit like yeah I've definitely got this this is going to be an amazing adventure and I got the phone call and it's like we're going to go with someone else essentially gutting you say that that's my greatest achievement and it sounds really wanking cliche and something you should have a couple of hashtags at the end of it but no I learn more about myself, what I'm capable of, in spite of my limitations, in spite of the amount of naysayers and obstacles I came up against, in that process, then I probably have done in any other time. No matter what I achieve from now until the day that I die, that'll always be kind of the precipice of which I've built everything else upon. And with that, I put the phone down.

Thank you very much. And thanks for the opportunities. I've really enjoyed it. Put the phone. I need something else to do. I had a bike. And that was my precursor cycling, and that's when we met. I then moved into my flat where I live now in South London. We helped you build your furniture. You did.

You and Alex. Yeah, we're like the worst people to help. You say that. You said the knife rack is still up and working very well. Yeah, good. And the one thing that I got from the row was what successes. And to me, and in my humble opinion

success to me isn't winning it's not getting the medal it's not getting the promotion you can put it into any facet of life you like and there's no shame in giving up and no one should be made to feel of shame for giving up but running parallel with all of that

if you can hold you out and say I did my absolute fucking best here then that's success because what you learn about yourself in any process outweighs any result any tangible result so if you want to get a medal, you know, gold, silver bronze, you know, if you don't get that, but you've done,

you've tried your absolute best in doing that, well then the bits that you've learned, you can carry it rid of the neck if you try it again. And I've taken that forward into cycling and I did it on our ride, the Battle of Her Ride when we met. My thing with cycle is I can't stand up and cycle. So when it comes to hills, I'm confined to the saddle. It's just a top of over. And every hill that we got to in France, I rode up here. I was probably at the back sometimes. I caught up with everyone. Or they waited for me. And my thought process on that is a hill is a hill at the top of this hill. It's going to be a nice view. It'd be lovely. If I get off and walk, I don't know. Not everyone would agree with this. But my was like,

if I get off and walk, yes, I'll get the view. I wouldn't have earned it. And And that's kind of what I do now. I take that into every hill that I do, even if I've ridden it before, I can get off and walk if I want to, but what's it taught me? That when it gets hard, I can just take the easy way up.

And, I mean, take from that what you like. I mean, it's not a copy and paste thing, but I look at losing my arm and shoulder now, and this, yeah, probably sounds a bit of a cop-out, but it's probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to me because the way I live my life now, And the things that I've been able to do and the people I've met

Francie, Alex, Finlo and Cat and all that would probably never have happened had I not been through this. I'd never have been on the battlefield bike ride like this. I'd never have got the opportunity to train and be selected for the for the for the for the for the row. And so on.

So so many things happen because of this and it aligns. the values of how I live my life. And it was the end of the Battle of Your Bike Ride. I got to have the done where it finished. And I went, I'm going to be a cyclist. What can I do in cycling? And I'd missed the encatchment deadline for the Invictus Games of 2017,

which that year were held in Toronto in 2017. The Invictus games are the Prince Harry started them, and they're the military. It's basically, yeah, the easy way of it's like a military. Olympics. Paralympics, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it doesn't focus on the elite competition.

The Invictus Games is all about a recovery process. People apply to take part in it as part of their recovery and so on. Because sport is a wonderful, wonderful tool when it comes to managing anything you're going through. And I stand by that unequivocally. I'd moved into my flat at this point, and I had no money to kind of afford the luxuries of cycling. and so I just basically beg, borrow and steal what I could to train for the games. I couldn't afford, I couldn't even afford a Zwift membership.

Zwift is a training platform for cycling. You bloody love Zwift. I do now. If you follow down on Instagram, Zwift. But very much, I couldn't afford this at the time I was training for the games and that's £13 a month. But I did have the internet and the internet for all intents of purposes is free

after you pay the monthly bill. but I was using YouTube and Google to train to indoor videos and whatnot and I was using Google to basically find the fundamental basic and basics at best like nutritional kind of things and I'd copy other cyclists and professionals and so on and over a two-year process I went to the various selection processes and then found myself in Sydney at the start line the cycling event of the Invictus Games and it was like it's a very humbling feeling that

knowing that you've worked so hard towards something and then you've achieved it and for me the Invitis games was my line in the sand between that military part of my life and the rest of my life bloody hell what a story yeah I think I've taken up a lot of your time I'm sorry yeah it's so great for sharing it's so

it's so interesting it's fascinating and there's like so much to dive into but you are also like it's worth saying and like I say this to it I mean everyone who's ever met you says the same thing which is you are the most positive person I've ever known

because in spite of all of that and you hearing it you're reminded that within your positivity there's so much resourcefulness and there's so much like want for better for your and for the people around you and it's like to spend time with you you feel that but even listening to your story just you know everybody will have taken that from you which is just like

an amazing like zest for life really yeah I think I think I think because I've seen and experienced what it's like to have absolutely nothing but then I think I know there's always something that can be done but always and I think my my kind of outlook if you like that's probably the wrong connotation but is rather than focusing on what you haven't got

what you can't do to focus on what you can do I really like that because I think I think humans are hardwired to see the negatives and see the obstacles and I think that's so that's a lesson for all of us to like focus on okay well I can't okay yes I can accept that

that I can't do but what can I do yeah be resourceful and and focus on what we are able to do I think there's a lesson in in all of us for that hearing your story that's what you have done consistently throughout your life is ever since you had that accident that bad day that yeah that one bad day is focus on what you can do even when you were at you know your real rock bottom yeah you're like there something's there still yeah still some like hope yeah thank you for sharing with us it's really amazing to hear yeah thanks for inviting me on it's been nice nice to see and nice to meet you alex yeah and daisy at the back there yeah yeah no no thanks for thanks for having me on it's it's been it's been great to catch up yeah

and talk yeah i have no doubt you're going to do some more extraordinary things and I look forward to hearing about them. And not joining you. Yeah. Welcome to if you like. Thanks, Dan. Thank you so much, Dan. Should I delete that is part of the ACAS creator network.